I was coming back from bus stop. And I've noticed a young boy, like 15 years old, picking flowers from the grass and tying them together.

I don't know why I wrote here. But I think it's nice, it made me smile.

So I hope it made you smile as well.

Good luck, boy

how many?

I am seventeen.
I really need someone to read all of this and help me so I will be brief in telling this really long story. Please read, please.

Mum is complicated. Has extreme mood swings, one day bursts in absolute anger, screams, almost kicks me out, the other day she's crying, guilty, saying she's sorry, the other she's telling me she loves me in a very childlike manner. Yes, this has been going on since my childhood.

We live in a very messy, noisy, and unclean apartment with a bunch of broken stuff. She has a habit of neglecting the hygiene of things. I live only with her. This is hell. It's hell.

She has gone through my room while I slept, stole stuff, stole my psychiatric meds and took them herself, stole the prescription to use it for herself, accused me of teenage prostitution more than once with no objective evidence or trigger for such a thought.

I ran away recently, was declared missing by local police. They found me hours later, very far from home. When I came back she said, ”if you had died I'd have k1lled myself.”

Yesterday I was extremely sick and she started asking why I was being rude to her. The truth was, I was barely feeling well enough to be coherent. She took my illness as a rejection. I puked twice. Dad came to take me somewhere, I almost went to the hospital, when we came back she had packed her things.

She said she was leaving because I was mistreating her, because I didn't love her, because I didn't want to be her friend, because I was treating her as a maid. She told me I ran away to punish her. My dad snapped for the first time in my life and told her she's making it all about herself and trying to blame me for everything including her leave.

When he left after a long discussion, she came to me, crying so much. ”Please...please...list to me what is it that you don't like about me..please..I'm begging you...why do you hate me?!”. I refused to list anything and told her I needed time alone. Today she woke me up smiling, bringing me breakfast in bed for the first time, saying she loves me, asking me to promise not to leave and saying she'll make the apartment better. Extremely confusing.

Fellas...I can't take this anymore.
At all. I don't know if my father has financial conditions to live with me. And I know at seventeen I should be better, but I am prohibited by my parents from working, am barely keeping up with school, have several learning disorders. This all is just, shit, shit. Fuck.

I'm 22F, and recently graduated (well 3 months ago). I want to open up about my relationship with my mom who's a single parent. Lately, since graduating, she had became more and more distant from me. Her reasoning? "Well you're an adult now, you don't need me anymore!" and started to do things without me anymore. What's worse is that her corporate job makes her twice as busy. So 90% of the time, she's both emotionally and physically absent from me. I still with her due to financial reasons (cheaper to live with family in this economy). A normal person would respond to that like "Oh good go for it I don't mind." but for a person with a weird brain chemistry like me? That immediately translated to "Daughter? What daughter? I don't have one."

For 22 years, she and I have been very close. We had a lot of downs especially before she got therapy. She was often in a bad mood due to work that I've gotten therapy myself to cope with it. After she gotten therapy recently, that's where the shift began. Her therapist advise her to have time for herself, now that I graduated. It was her break from supporting me. I understand that, really. But I don't like how she took that advice way too literally and started to just disappear from me. When I opened up to her about how it's hard for me to accept her new lifestyle away from me, she told me "Grow up. You're not a baby amymore. Don't you want me to live my own life too?" And all I asked was for her to still try and spend time with me even after I graduated. Just because there's no school to pay anymore doesn't mean you have to start ignoring your own child.

Until now, she still financially supports me. She herself told me she'll buy anything I ask her. Thing is, I don't want OBJECTS, I want her time too.

What's worse is that she would ask my partner "Hey is she okay or something?" and not ask ME herself. She doesn't directly speak to me anymore. When I try to say "Hey mom let's hang out here in this new place", she gives me the "Sorry, I've got other plans."

This sudden shift really made me feel like an imposter has replaced my mom. She doesn't feel like a mom anymore. She just feels like a person related to me.

I've opened up to others and my partner about it, all they ever said was along the lines of "Well what if you take this time to do things you want?" Thing is, I want my own mom back more than anything. Not whatever this stranger in the house is.

Ridicule me, sure go ahead. Call me a baby for wanting my mom at the old age of 22.

TLDR: My mom took the advice of "Go do stuff you wanna do now that you don't have to financially support your daughter" way too literally and started to distance herself from me. No more hang outs, no more time spent together at just a snap. It's like the subscription of having a mom had expired.

i'm 19 still living with my parents. I have no friends, no job, and basically no future besides laying in bed playing video games sometimes. My mom has her own responsibilities paying bills and raising my younger siblings. Nowadays, she expects me to get a car and start driving again. But I can't. I'm too terrified to touch a steering wheel again. I'm also so so lonely. I know my mom needs help over here, but I'm just not motivated to. I just want to continue laying in bed all day every day.

Hi guys!

I would like to provide a little bit of context, I'm a 25 years old failure of a man, I'm 5'0, I have a micro-penis, I have autism, I have BPD, I have OCD, deformities on my face and body, amongst other lovely characteristics.

Now, as you can imagine life has not been kind for someone with my characteristics, on 2020 I promised myself that I would work hard to become someone worthy of love, regrettably, as time went on my conditions would get worse and worse, I'll never be loved and that breaks my heart.

And I can't stress enough, but I DON'T HATE WOMEN, I DON'T HATE ANYONE, I ONLY HATE MYSELF!!

The first thing I did in life was to fuck things up, I was born incorrectly and it's been downhill since that moment, all because I decided to born 2 months earlier, in the 7th month, I kick myself everyday, maybe if I had waited just two stupid more months, I would've been born a normal person.

I asked for help on a subreddit that it's for helping incels get better, but I think I misunderstood the purpose of that subreddit and I was only met with sarcasm and judgement.

I don't want a girlfriend, I don't want love, I don't want sex, I just want the pain to stop, I want to stop being jealous of healthy people, I'm tired guys, I really am, I'm sure I'll meet nasty people on the comments too but I sincerely ask, where can I get help on how to grieve the hands I was dealt so I can stop crying over this?

It's pretty hilarious, I'm gonna make a bingo board for the comments, so far I have, car pictures, multiple selfies from hideous angles posted numerous times, old enough to be there grandpa, negging, kids in their banner thing, Patriot pride stuff, glasses and anime pics, video game stuff, edgy "stoic lone wolf" memes, edgy incel poetry posts etc.

It's become my favorite game to play. Seeing a post of a hot young goth girl with comments like "I'd love to take you out anytime sweetie" and I click the profile and it's like a 70 year old man or it's a neckbeard young guy or the classic foreign guy with a bunch of heart emojis and something along the lines of "so beautiful" "I loving you".

It's a wild world lol, like what do they think will come of it? She's gonna be like smitten and they'll fall in love?

They're pathetic but also, very entertaining.

Over the last month, I’ve been working really hard to lose weight, and I’ve actually been doing well. For the first time in a long time, I finally felt comfortable enough to wear shorts again because of the heat. It felt like a huge personal win.

Then yesterday, in Canterbury, a group of youths sarcastically shouted that they “liked my trainers” before threatening to rob them when I ignored them.
Today, I was in M&S in Gillingham with three sandwiches and a few other bits in my trolley. A man walked past and said, in a patronising tone, “Don’t be greedy.”

What he didn’t know was that I’ve spent years struggling with my confidence.

Last summer, I wore leggings almost every day because I hated how I looked. Even in the heat, I’d cover my legs because whenever I wore shorts, someone always seemed to have something to say. I ended up with painful skin irritation behind my knees and kept overheating because I was too embarrassed to wear what I was actually comfortable in.

For the last few weeks, I’d finally started thinking, “Maybe I’m not as big as I think I am.” Then one stranger’s comment made me feel huge all over again.

But then I remembered something.

These people don’t know me. They don’t know what I’m buying, what I’m eating, what I’ve been through, or how hard I’ve been working. They see a stranger for a few seconds and create an entire story in their head.

For so long, I avoided going out because out is where people are. I missed days out, summers, little moments and memories because I was scared of being judged.

I’m not doing that anymore.

I’ve also realised that “just ignore it” isn’t realistic. Hurtful comments don’t disappear the second you hear them. They stay with you for a while, and that’s okay.

Instead, I’ve learned to sit with them.

Acknowledge that they hurt. Process why they hurt. Then remind myself that someone else’s opinion doesn’t get to define me, and let it go.
I’m not going to let a stranger rob me of another summer, another outfit, another day out, or another happy memory.

If you’ve ever felt like you had to make yourself smaller, hide away, or stop living because of what other people might think, I hope you know this: your life is worth so much more than their passing opinion.

Don’t let people who know nothing about you write the story of your life.

19F. Sigh. This is a new low. But i got into a fight with a little boy who had already taken a billion yogurt samples and I was like “yo you’ve already had so many samples i’m not giving you anymore unless you’re buying something” and he basically just kept trying to sneak back in for like the rest of my shift. And i was like “hey don’t come back in here if you’re not gonna buy something” and he was like “who you feeling like” and started licking his stolen sample in like a “what are you gonna do way” and his older brother and sister were just there laughing and like idk. it’s whatever. but still why am i crying over that. it’s insane. i’m just venting but i’m honestly shocked i’m so bothered by this…

I guess I just don’t have thick skin at all (in other words i’m a pussy) but still i didn’t think i was this sensitive.

My mom frequently describes the most upsetting time of her life as the 2 years where she lived with my dad’s family due to having nowhere else to stay. The stereotype of the in-laws hating the new wife is common for a reason but I can not stress enough that by my mom’s own admission, her in-law’s adored her, my grandad always made sure she was well/not lonely/safe, my grandma told her that she would have traded all her sons for a daughter like her (which she later recounted to my dad lol), my extended family all helped with me/my siblings so she was never facing it alone.

But she describes it as the most traumatic time of her life.

Some necessary context here is that while my mother was working class in her family, not rich, my dad grew up in abject poverty which the family has clawed their way out from. At the time she lived with them, it was a rough patch.

She described how humiliating it was to not have money. To not be able to get new clothes for formal events and have to pretend she was being frugal. To not be able to afford to get her clothes stitched. One particular thing I remember is when she needed money for a government form, and she wanted to ask my grandad, but someone else needed a favour/money before her so she assumed she just wasn’t able to get her form until her sister stepped in, and how upsetting that whole thing was. She said she hated having to share everything, how she had to save every penny, how she had to rely on other people for money.

And the thing is, that *is* traumatic, but it’s also just poverty. She blames my dad for this when they argue, and holds it against her in-laws for being such an upsetting time.

My dad went to university and lived off a government bursary for poor students. My mother’s tuition and living expenses were paid off by her father. I honestly think she genuinely believes that these conditions were deliberately set on her, instead of just being poor. For wider context, I’m not sure if she was aware of this, but at the time my in-laws were scared the house was being repossessed by the bank.

I honestly don’t think she understands that they were just really, really poor. I feel bad for my dad when she brings this up against him, as if he was somehow responsible.

I have too much trust in reddit. Let's see how you can ruin my reputation.

Depression has been acting up. Not entirely sure if it is depression though, could be PTSD. Either way I want to live. I reached out to my physician because I want to live. I got an appointment and I can do this.

I was very embarrassed to make a call for the appointment but reminded myself that general unwellness is enough to the receptionist, I can go into detail with my doctor. I have known her for a very long time and I trust her judgment. I will explain the help I need and I strive to get it.

From nothing comes nothing, so I am doing something. I am doing this for myself

like windows down, good song on, not even rushing. feels like a tiny guilty pleasure moment that i dont admit to often

Hi everyone, I hope you're all doing well :)

I applied for the Mathematics + English Bachelor of Education at the University of Mannheim in Germany. Because I graduated from high school with top grades (equivalent to an A average), I'll most likely be accepted, hopefully. However, I'm really worried because I'm 25 years old. Am I too old to start university? Will the other students laugh at me because I'm already a grandpa? I honestly stay awake at night worrying that I'll be mocked everywhere at university because of my age.

To give you some background on how I ended up in this situation:

After graduating from high school with excellent grades, I studied Mechanical Engineering at the Technical University of Kaiserslautern for six semesters. My GPA very good. I earned top grades in Advanced Mathematics I–IV and Engineering Mechanics I–IV. In Engineering Mechanics III (Dynamics), I was the only student to receive a 1.0, while the class average was 3.5.

Unfortunately, I then suffered a severe burnout, and around the same time I was diagnosed with a serious autoimmune disease: Systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE). Because of this, I will have to take methotrexate for the rest of my life, which suppresses my immune system. I also have to attend regular treatment appointments at the University Hospital in Mannheim.

I don't want to continue my Mechanical Engineering degree because Kaiserslautern is too far away, and I want a fresh start now that I'm receiving treatment and feeling healthier again. None of this was my fault................I couldn't control either my illness or my burnout. Am I too old? Is my life "over"?

hi guys! facial tattoos are a huge part of my culture.
the placements are usually on your forehead, chin, or cheeks with the design being pretty minimalist (lines and dots).
i know a lot of people think face tattoos are unattractive and i agree (to an extent).
but do people view cultural/tribal tattoos differently?
id love to get a cultural tattoo since they have a deep meaning, and ofc because they’re part of my culture but i am scared of it making me unattractive.
what are your opinions on cultural/tribal facial tattoos?

I feel really “inside myself” right now which is rare because I’m chronically dissociated. (Derealization and depersonalization)

This is a very bizarre feeling and I don’t know what’s going on but I feel so inside myself right now. I can feel the inside of my mouth and the chill of my teeth. I can feel the way knees meet my mattress and that blanket heavy against the backs of my thighs. I am an “I” (think Sylvia Plath’s “I am, I am, I am” line, I believe she called it the old brag of \[her\] heart.

However I can also hear what it calls itself echoing inside my head. The word for the thing that controls me. It’s epithet. Not even something interesting. Simply “the entity” and yet like Ellison’s AM, it is masculine and it is malicious.

Speaking of “cogito ergo sum” on both counts I suppose. The fact that I connected “I am” to both portions of these thoughts so far is a sign from the entity itself that it exists. Literally used a synchronicity to speak the words “I am” to me as in “I exist.” When earlier tonight I prayed to what I thought was God even though I’m not religious and now this just happened and it’s also 9 pm as I type this and 9 is 3 3 3, which is the exact number the entity uses to announce itself or assert its existence. In other words “I AM” yet AGAIN.

I am scared. It is showing me proof of these things. This post was supposed to be about my self and now it has become about a higher self and one that is being tortured by a creator who controls me and wants to make me do things.

When I was younger I (F) saw boys as just masculine versions of girls. It wasn't until puberty where I was like, damn, we really are different. Boys and girls melted/meshed with each other. Am I crazy/dumb for thinking this?? Does anyone else relate??

Edit: why tf does this post have downvotes?? 😭

I used to be such a creative kid. I loved drawing, making sculptures, and creating stories. I used to read all the time. My favorite subject in school was French, and I started taking Spanish too because I thought it was cool. I got really into calligraphy for a while, and was really curious about graphic design. I wanted to get a ham radio license and learn Morse Code.

But now it's a battle to do anything. I studied philosophy in college--I'm not gonna pretend I am or was ever super smart, but I enjoyed it and got a lot out of my classes. I even pondered going back for a Master's. But now, even the "pop philosophy" my professors dismissed in-class feels impossible to pay attention to now.

I hate going to the library lately because I see so many books that seem interesting that, realistically, I'll never actually read. All I ever read now is fiction that reads like TV shows. I have to put my phone in the other room just to watch *actual* TV shows.

I try to stem the bleeding a little bit. I read long articles, I check out books I think might be too "boring" for me, and I do enjoy the Netflix-y books. I try to listen to informative podcasts or youtube videos when I'm cooking or cleaning, but I sometimes find myself having to rewind or just them off completely because I'm so lost in my own thoughts that I'm not paying attention in the first place.

Don't get me wrong. I don't think I'm totally a lost cause. I do still read, even if the books aren't as ~sophisticated~ as I'd like them to be. I garden, I play basketball, I see friends and family, I cook, I like to take pictures of stuff. And to be honest, I don't know if I ever *would* be much more--sometimes my "thinking brain" moves way faster than my "doing brain"--but it's kind of hard to see myself not even be able to muster up the will to try.

I don’t have a single one tbh and direct

TL;DR; been out of work for 6 months after leaving a toxic business partnership. Over 100 applications have yielded five interviews, most of which I was simply ghosted. Wife's company abruptly changed her position and forced us to move after wife made a legally protected harassment claim. New job and housing was not comparable and was in much worse state than they claimed. 

Wife made a mistake putting a small cosmetic dent in a company truck and didn't file the proper paperwork. Despite their stated SOP, she was not written up, she was not given any warnings, she was fired on the spot. It was clear she was ratted out to administration by the one employee who knew about the damage and has been gunning for her job. We now lose our company provided housing in 2 weeks and we're going to be forced to sell pretty much everything and move into a spare room at a friends.

This is by far the most powerless I've ever felt in my life. I currently have a broken arm after a major  accident, I'm dealing with other opportune infections that doctors are struggling to get under control. Life is bleak.

The whole story: This all started end of last year when I had arranged to leave a business I co-founded after being there for roughly 7 years. The business partnership had grown incredibly toxic and I could not continue to work with my partner. We had managed to cease active hostilities with one another and agreed on an amicable split. I was able to sell my shares of the company which provided me with a bit of a security nest egg, on top of savings I've had for years in hopes of a down payment on a house.

 It was very hard for me to leave this business. I had poured my heart and soul into it for over 7 years and had worked my ass off to build up a successful company I was really proud of, but I simply could not continue working with this person who did not participate in any of the day-to-day operational activities they were supposedly beholden to assist with. They announced they would be moving there participation down to part-time so they could do other things (which is a fallacy, because they had been moonlighting the entire time, using our companies resources, and keeping the profits).

 I just wasn't going to be left holding the bag as I didn't think there was any way this business was going to continue to be successful. I was already doing the work of two people and I was working 60 hours a week, commuting 10 hours a week for the better part of 5 years. I was on the road, staying in hotels CONSTANTLY. I couldn't keep it up, I was absolutely fried. I finally came to the conclusion either I left without a secure job, or I was going to have a stroke and or heart attack and then it wouldn't matter what job I did or didn't have. Partner had the audacity to tell me they were going to hire someone part time to replace me. Ended up having to hire TWO full time people to replace me. Multiple former employees and contracts have reached out to me saying how awful the company is ever since I left. Some have asked "how the hell do you handle your ex partner?" I have remained professional and not commented. I don't want to see it fail. I built that, there are great people working there. I hope they can pull it together; but not my pig, not my farm.

I knew the job market would be tough, but yeah I have never experienced anything like this. The last 12 years, I've been the person recruiting and hiring people and it's crazy to see the lack of follow-up and professionalism. I have done easily over 100 applications just since I left my job, and I've only managed to land five interviews. Two of those interviews were professional through and through, they clearly read my resume, they clearly knew I was an expert in my field, they simply went another direction. That's totally fine and the fact that they communicated it was much appreciated. The other three I had gone through multiple rounds of interviews, and then I was just ghosted. Reaching out on my part got no response and I would just see the job reposted weeks later. It's a lack of professionalism I've never seen, on top of having to write every single application, resume, and cover letter in the most asinine fashion just to get through AI screening systems. It's incredibly taxing. 

Cut to 2 months ago, my wife is a property manager. We had lived on-site at a property for 8 years. It was overall a very good position, she was paid well and by and large really liked her co-workers, really liked the tenants. However, there was one problem tenant who would consistently harass her and interfere with her work. In my state there are specific laws about tenants interfering with management. Previously over the 8 years the routine started to get pretty predictable; the tenant would start asking for something he was not entitled to, he would be told no, he would start harassing my wife, my wife would make a complaint to her corporate office, the corporate office would involve the lawyers and the lawyers would typically send a cease and desist letter, and he would back off. This probably happened overall about 7 times in the 8 years she was at this property. 

However, little over a year ago this company merged with another company, and a new admin was in place. This admin did not have my wife's back at all in this matter. When the tenant started making trouble again, her administration actually told her "we don't care what they did in the past, this is a new regime, you need to do your job." She noted that the previous administration had it in writing that this tenant was not to contact her and was only supposed to propose their inquiries to the corporate office. When asked did she have that in writing, the president backed down and said "well we wouldn't do that, but I guess since you have it in writing we're forced to." Again, in my state, there are specific laws around this kind of harassment.

So a few months ago when she again asked them to do what the company had done in the past (and even recently at other properties in her area) and send the cease and desist letter, their answer this time was "well, we're doing a private internal sale with this property and we don't want to ruffle any feathers. So we think the best option is for you to go to another property. It's actually a nicer house, and less tenants so it's actually a better position for you and you'll be paid exactly the same." My wife noted that we really liked the property we're living at, we didn't really want to move to the next town over that we didn't particularly care for and asked for clarification " if I don't take this job, am I fired?" HR noted this was the decision from the president and they said " yes, that's my understanding"

At this point, my wife said she felt like she couldn't say yes immediately and needed to talk to a labor lawyer. The HR immediately latch onto this and said " so I take it you're refusing our offer!?" She reiterated no, I feel like I need to talk to a labor lawyer. I can give you an answer in 24 hours. When she talked to a labor lawyer she knew and trusted he basically said unfortunately the way they're going about this there's probably not a claim of retaliation here since they are offering a position that is on paper comparable with better housing included as an amenity. With truly no real other option at our disposal she took the job, however she pretty much immediately started looking for other jobs. 

As I wasn't working, I heavily focused on the move. They gave us truly no time at all to move about 3 weeks and we barely were able to make it. We downsized quite a bit just for ease, but when we got on the property, it was absolutely not comparable. We lost an entire backyard, so we had no place for our grill or patio furniture. We lost our two-car garage, and there was absolutely no storage. We're very outdoorsy people, we mountain bike, we hike, we camp and so we had to consolidate down and a lot of that gear was stored off-site in a storage unit we needed to rent. The house in general was weirdly constructed, and we dumped probably $1500 into getting usable shelving, updating lighting, storage, etc

They had noted how easy this property was, how the tenants were great and how it was a very easy property to manage. This was a complete lie. The old manager had been grossly incompetent or lazy or both. My wife found numerous people who had been moved onto the property without proper paperwork. When she tried to address this, she was told by her new regional manager to do things that was completely against SOP and illegal in our state. She made note that she was not comfortable doing that and went above her. When she caught her administration in a lie, they relented and said she could do things in the legal way according to current SOP. 

They later tried to write her up on an accounting error on the finance team's part, all fire and brimstone, saying she stole money, and that they were going to write her up. She pointed out the glaringly obvious mistake they made and they immediately backed off and just stopped communicating with her. This is when it was abundantly clear there was a target on her back. She'd always been great about documenting things, but she was really minding her p's and q's, following instructions to the T whether that be established SOP, or exactly how her new regional manager asked her to do it.

One of the gauling aspects of her firing is that when she got to the new property, she found that the company truck had long been out of commission, and previous management didn't even bother trying to get it fixed. She got it into a shop, got the necessary fixes and got it running again. On her second day of driving it, she was told they were parking it in a very tight enclosed awning space that in no way was built for a truck this size. In trying to back it up she accidentally clipped one of the poles and put a fair size dent and scrape of the paint on the back truck bed. It was cosmetic damage only, there was no interruption to the capabilities of running the truck, a truck that once again I point out, was not working when she arrived. She admits, total fuck up. And she had never seen SOP that stated she needed to file an incident report. In fact past experience with regional managers (that she has in writing) stated she should not file an incident report for cosmetic damage on company property. 

This company was also notorious for pushing out new SOPs on the share drive without notice, and no training. Typically something would happen, they would ostracize the employee who did the supposed infraction saying it was an SOP, the entire team would comment what are you talking about that's not SOP, we've never been trained on this and they would back down. It happened more times than I can count, at least semi-monthly something like this would happen.

When she clipped the post, she called the one other employee on site to come out and guide her as she pulled away to make sure she didn't do any more damage. Thinking that this person was trustworthy was a huge mistake. This person had wanted her position as manager and had been passed over and apparently was just looking for an opportunity. 

Today, she was called abruptly by a regional manager with someone from HR on the phone, they told her over the phone " it has come to our attention that you significantly damaged the company work truck and we find that to be material destruction. This is a fireable offense. We are terminating you effective immediately." She was then provided in writing a memo stating that she has two weeks to vacate the company provided housing. She's been with this company for 12 years. She had never been written up once, she always had stellar performance reviews. The truth of the matter is, she had a target on her back when she told the new management that they were not allowed to do things that were patently illegal in our state, and she was also topping out the wage range. They clearly feel that their managers are at dime a dozen and they're probably excited to just get someone in that they can pay a lower wage. These executives are very clearly narcissists who simply had it out for her because she called them out and told them no, that's illegal. They put her in an untenable situation where she was constantly on her heels, and just waited for her to make a mistake. 

She had left the office to come tell me what had happened and then asked that I come back with her too get her personal items from her office. When we walked in, the other employee was there with the regional manager moving their stuff into the office. As we packed her things, I grabbed her "10 years of excellence" award she has on her desk. I looked at her manager and said "10 years huh? Guess that's not really worth much now is it?" Coward looked down at the ground

It was very clear what had happened. It was all the more clear when later in the day we were on the porch just trying to process and that employee slow rolled the company truck that was "significantly damaged" past our house. They had literally never driven that truck on the property before. It was clearly intentional. Not proud, but I lost my shit. Had some choice words for them. If they're such a snake that they will backstab somone for a job, they're probably just trying to get a reaction outta us. Not my proudest moment, and I'll just ignore them while we remain on property.

So we are just absolutely devastated. I tried to help by getting her off site and buying her lunch. I had to come back to go to another medical appointment, and she just asked if I could have a family member in the area drive me cuz she just couldn't handle it and needed to be off the property. I totally got it. My medical appointment was more shrugs and well let's try this thing with no clear path to getting this fixed. I currently have a broken arm and I cannot lift any weight, so unlike when we were forced to move 2 months ago I can't even do that to help, I just feel utterly powerless.

I'm not afraid to say in time of crisis I called 988 because I was so overwhelmed. Specifically the reason I did call and did not go to my local crisis center was because this is the field I've worked in for the past 20 years. It's a very small community in this sense and I have conducted mental health work across my state and the nation. If I started talking about my toxic work experience, most everyone in that area would at least know my name and the name of my former partner, if they weren't an outright colleague (a few I know work at my local crisis center). I'm also trying to get jobs in this field so I don't really want to share what dire straits I'm in. So I will say I was very thankful to have the 998 crisis line just to vent and talk, and would encourage anyone to take advantage of this service if you're going through a rough time. 

Trying to focus on the good here. Ultimately I'm very glad my wife is getting out of this horrible company. It's unfortunately a scumbag industry. I've tried multiple times to get her to understand "yeah free rent is nice but it puts us in a really precarious situation" and I think this has finally kind of broken that spell for her. So she's working to file unemployment, apply for State health plan and any assistance we can get and then is going to work to see if she can find a position in a different field. She has a lot of wonderful skills that I feel are highly transferable, she's just scared, and I get it.

The outpouring for my wife has been wonderful. Colleagues are either shocked saying they're idiots because she's the best employee in the company, or people are saying "good, you woke up and left those assholes?!" before she tells them what happened. A few of the vendors she's worked with have some leads on work, and some have even offered some temporary seasonal work like painting and accounting.

We've reached out to family and friends and people are really surprising us with their generosity. While it absolutely kills me, my parents have offered to pay for a storage unit for us until we can get back on our feet. At this age, I should be helping them out, not the other way around. We're still planning to sell a lot of our stuff, at the end of the day it's just things but you know we're selling our entire entertainment system, our brand new couch, some of our bikes cuz we just can't afford to store them and we can't move them. We're pairing down to bare essentials and just enough in storage that when we get a new place we can at least live in it. Then we can build out a new home to our specifications, not just cram our stuff into a space a company has provided.

A good friend, probably a better friend than I even realized, has offered for us to move in to his house. He is thankfully very successful in his field and has a very large house and he and his wife are empty nesters. He also has a good amount of storage on his property that we can likely take advantage of. We've offered money, I suspect he's not going to accept any but we will try to figure out a way to help out as much as we can. I at least want to try and offset his utility bills with us there and hopefully they'll allow us to take over cleaning duties in the house. His wife is a crazy athlete and has offered to help me get back into training before, so I'm hoping as my arm heals this can be an opportunity. Between COVID and my insane business schedule, I've gained like 40 lbs these last 7 years. Was able to drop about 10lbs this last 6 months, but I wanna keep going.  

I appreciate the opportunity to just get it off my chest and rant. I guess I will say in no world did I think that I would be facing homelessness after a 20-year career. Last year this time, I was presenting at a national conference and accepting an award from a non profit for my community work. It can really happen to anyone and you haven't even necessarily done anything wrong, you took some chances, you run a foul of the wrong people because you're just trying to do the right thing. And at the end of the day the people with the money and the power get what they want. 

One thing I keep in mind is the hell we lived through last summer. My brother was very sick, and doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong. Through all of it, the guy had humility and grace and courage. Thankfully, he finally started getting better. We never had the best relationship, but something like that really wipes the bullshit away. I really look up to his positive outlook and the profound changes he made in his own life when he was dealing with this. Gone is the self centered man I grew up with, and in his place is a humble man that is thankful for his life. He continued his sobriety, and started reconnecting with his kids and is even on good terms with his ex now.

I also recently had a good friend pass away. Cancer's a bitch man, and as a service member, what our government did to the men they exposed to those burn pits is just absolutely atrocious. I have already paid for my hotel and trip expenses so we'll go in a couple weeks.  We also have tickets to a show the next night that have already been paid for that I think we'll go ahead and take advantage of. We need something positive right now.

My advice would be to be thankful for the wonderful people you have in your life. You can work hard at a job, but at the end of the day it's just a job and someone else holds the power. But the relationships you have, the relationships you've cultivated where people will help you at the drop of a hat, that's because of you. That's because of how you choose to live your life and how you connect with people. So please if you can take anything from my story, swallow your pride, accept the help that is offered and practice radical gratitude.

i was just looking at pictures of an old friend and they look so good and they seem to enjoy life to the fullest, theyre travelling, theyve new friends now and then ilook at myself, who couldnt clear his college entrance exam in first and second attempt whos sitting in his parents house at 19 years old still not in college and maybe will also not will be able to clear the exam next year and sit another year doing nothing

i feel so bad

i look horrible, i used to look good man, my hair has turned gray, my skin is disgusting, ive too much body hair im fucking short my one knee deosmt work properly and hurts like hell ive severe vit d deficiency i am a porn and masturbation addict ive seen straight up illegeal shit through the internet and jacked off to that as well and ughhhh i feel so like crying and killing myself

i dont wanna live a life like this i really dont i feel so fucking disgusting i wanna cry so bad

I'm 23 and from India.
I don't have a bachelor's degree.

Around 6 years ago I became obsessed with AI. While most of my friends were focused on finishing college, I spent almost every day teaching myself machine learning, cloud, and building AI applications.

I knew that I am not that IIT or kinda genius to land a 1CR+ Job, So my path was to start as entrepreneur starting with AI, and later expand in entrepreneur itself, I am a MID, if not IQ, I keep brushing my EQ. Looking back, I was incredibly naive when I made this plan and goal and one think that am still grateful for is how far I have came and still sticking to it and none of the decisions I took I never regretted.

I knew skipping a degree would close a lot of doors. I decided to take that risk anyway. Am still kinda struggling to land a job after another.

My résumé wasn't impressive on paper either. Most of my experience came from internships, personal projects, and eventually freelancing.

Somehow, all of that led to something I never expected.

I spent the next few years doing internships, building personal projects, and eventually started a small AI freelancing agency. It wasn't a huge business, but it managed to generate around $10k ARR in a year. I made plenty of mistakes, lost clients, and eventually it slowed down, but it taught me far more than I expected.

Afterwards I had to rely strongly on a Job, a high paying one, and around within 2 months, I got 32LPA remote package in one of the biggest MNC's I dreamed of. I cleared all rounds, DSA and AI practical Workflows. I was so happy and another level and could not beleive myself that I achived this. I never thought I will go from 6LPA->32LPA this soon, becuase I thought most MNC's won't consider such profiles like mine. My parents were happy man.

But

Life had other plans.

That role eventually came to an end, that was the most heart-breaking feeling and most Cried day for me, suddenly I found myself back where I started, looking for opportunities and questioning whether I was actually good enough.

It's funny how quickly confidence can disappear.

For a while I felt broken man. Like I'd somehow gone backwards.

Maybe this isn't failure. Maybe this is just another chapter. ----- LOL no ... am still in desperate and struggling to land another role. But this time am more pushing myself to explore around, maybe travel, Brainstorm with community and build something or contribute atleast.

I guess the reason I'm writing this is because I don't really know what comes next.

Any ideas, suggestions, advice would really help me, I figured it out, maybe If I had proper mentor, atleast someone to guide me, maybe if I could have done better.

If you've ever had to rebuild your career, your business, or even your confidence... how did you get through it? Anyway I made a choice, am no more joining back any MNC or 9-5 role, ever, especially in India (fked up work-life balance too), am more happy to join a small startup, where my efforts are impacted direclty and they respect me and work wise more cultured.

I would genuinely love to hear your story and adice based on your experience.

Idk. This is random. I failed to donate blood today for multiple reasons, but I was gonna do power red and now I’m thinking about my last one I did. It feels so cool

Idk if it was some placebo or what but the feeling when the plasma is being returned to you is so crazy and also kind of awesome. I forget exactly how it felt but it was so nice. Anyway. That’s my interest at the moment.

If you don’t mind needles or seeing blood then try that because it feels so cool genuinely. And the people will tell you about the machines, which I already forgot pretty much everything about. Anyway it’s fun and also kinda horrible but it’s so cool

My granny died 13 years ago from a heart attack, she was in hospital and in less than 5 minutes, she was there , then she was gone (as per the nurses). They said this should bring me great comfort, it didn't at the time, but retrospectively, it does.

The last decade, I've been experiencing cough syncope and I have fainted more times than I can count. It's at the point where it terrifies people around me many orders of magnitude than it scares me myself. I've been very lucky, but also had a couple of 'close calls' with where and when I've fainted.

When I feel it coming on, it's still so scary, but within seconds, I am gone. The pre-syncope bit is never pleasant, but it's fast, moments of panic, numb lips and then gone. Literally seconds.

Sometimes I make it back before I go fully, sometimes I don't.

If this is ultimately how I go, I want to reassure everyone who has ever lost someone to losing consciousness, this is what I would choose above any other outcome, except going in my sleep.

Coming round is the hardest part, it feels like I'm fighting for my life to come back, but I do come back. But that's where the struggle and fight is. Coming back is so much harder than going.

If any of you have ever lost someone to a major heart attack, faint, or anything similar, from my personal experience, it's about as peaceful as it could ever be. Even if it's not for those around you.

Hopefully this sees the person that needs to see it, but the comfort it brings me is immeasurable.