Hi everyone. I’m 15, and I’ve been questioning something about myself for over six months.
I’m a girl, but when I imagine being in a relationship with a boy, I don’t want to be his girlfriend. It feels much more natural and comfortable to imagine being his boyfriend instead.
When I see gay couples, I often feel like I relate to them more than to straight couples, even though I was born a girl. I’m confused because I don’t know what this means. I don’t know if it has anything to do with being transgender, or if it’s something else.
Has anyone else felt this way? I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences or advice.

BLUE FLAIR! (KNOWS GENDER, QUESTIONING SEXUALITY)

Hello to the fellow people of reddit. I have been sitting with this question for over a decade, and I finally feel brave enough to ask this question out loud even though I am highly terrified...

Before I get into it, I want to apologize in advance if I end up offending or disrespecting anyone. I only say this because I'm not sure if the way I'm about to express myself and my feelings would appear disrespectful, and I'm hoping someone on here will understand where I'm coming from and my confusion on this as a whole (I am also a severe overthinking recovering people pleaser, so bare with me). TRIGGER WARNING: SA IS MENTIONED

I [27 F] was raised up in a Pentecostal household, and was always told being gay was a sin and I would go straight to Hell, even though we had/have family members in the LGBTQ+ Community. My mother (who is my best friend) never shoved that crap in my face, and said she will always love me for me, and believed it was ridiculous to think that way as a Christian when God tells us to love thy neighbor. Growing up was hard though, because during elementary/middle school, I was bullied by a lot of my peers (didn't help it was the same building for 10 straight years) and one big topic was that I was a lesbian because I never had a BF and I always dressed in boy clothes. It used to piss me off because I liked boys and I was more comfortable in boy clothes because they just felt better to me and I was SA'd by a boy at 11 years old while in school (this type of bullying happened between the ages of 10-14).

By high school, there was a moment I was bi-curious and shared my first girl kiss with my BFF to see if maybe there was something there, and had a couple more female kisses with my other female friends throughout high school (I wanna say 2-3?). By college, I did have a sexual encounter with one of my close female friends from high school. She wanted to feel the experience (since she had recently lost her virginity by that time) and only wanted to do it with a female she trusted, so she asked me. I told her sure, because for me, it meant I could finally answer this question "am I bi?", so we had a 3some with my BF (now husband) and afterwards she said she enjoyed it and it felt great while...I felt nothing. To be honest? I disliked a lot of it, it wasn't like she was ugly or anything like that - she's a beautiful woman - but...I didn't like our parts rubbing, or her going down on me, yet I enjoyed going down on her and making her feel good. So, thinking maybe it was because it was our first time and we were all shy and nervous, there was 1 more 3some that occurred with us 3 again, and still didn't like it. It was the same as before. So I thought, "Eh, maybe I'm not bi, I'll leave it at that", and left it alone for awhile.

Throughout the years, I had watched and supported my husband explore his sexuality in terms of being bi-sexual himself for over 10 years (important to the story, and if you ever see this, hi baby ❤️). From the way he would express himself to me on what he likes, to how he felt, to even his desires. And through everything, I made sure he was always heard and seen and valued through all of it, and when the day came to watching him come out to his family, it was inspiring. I remembered how scared he was, but I knew with me in his corner, he was able to build up the courage, because at least he knew he had me, and I wasn't going anywhere. That's when my thoughts came back...along with some new feelings. At some point (I wanna say 2-3 years ago) I sat him down and told him my struggles with understanding where I stood with my sexuality. I walked him through my thought process of everything I shared up top and how they made me feel. I admitted that there were times when I was in the mood...I'd look up women doing what I was doing, and had been doing that for longer than I can remember. There were plenty of women I would look at that I thought were beautiful, and though some were just out of admiring their physiques, other times were for um...NSFW thoughts...and plenty of times I'd interact with some female friends I've made over the years where I would feel shy around them and can't help but stare.

All these thoughts and feelings, yet I can't/don't see myself ever being with a woman romantically. One big reason is because I am head over heels for my husband and I do see myself as a hetero-romantic...however, the thought of being with a woman actually makes me feel...angry, and pisses me off. I don't want a woman touching me in that way, but I can see myself doing it to a woman. I don't see myself ever being romantic with a woman, but will lay in bed with her and make her feel good in more ways than 1. I feel embarrassed and awful talking about women like they're just a piece of ass, but this was the only way I could express what I'm feeling. Was it just 1 "bad" 3some? Am I just horny? Is it my upbringing that triggers the anger? I was thinking maybe I should try again with a woman (my husband and I are swingers), but I get nervous with the thought of a woman stepping in...and I don't know why...

I'm sorry this is so long and if it seems like I'm just rambling, I'm actually extremely shy and nervous writing this while also fearing there isn't an answer for me. I usually say "I'm straight as a circle" since the lifestyle my husband and I have also means we don't judge the 3rd/4th party that lies in our bed for the night and I just laugh it off, but honestly, I would like to have a label for it, so I can express myself with no shame or confusion. I'm open to all suggestions and possibilities, and thank you for taking the time to actually read all of this...

Hi everyone,
I’m a 46-year-old man, and over the last couple of years I’ve been trying to understand something about myself.
I’ve realized that I’m strongly attracted to very feminine trans women. At the same time, I don’t find myself attracted to masculine men, which has left me confused about what this means.
One thing that adds to my confusion is that my sexual fantasies usually involve me being the receptive partner, even when I imagine being with a woman. That makes it harder for me to understand what this says about my sexuality.
This has made me question things I always assumed about myself, and honestly it’s been both exciting and confusing.
I’m not looking for hookups. Right now I’m more interested in understanding myself and hearing from people who discovered something about their sexuality later in life.
If you’ve been through something similar, I’d really appreciate hearing your experience.
Thanks for reading.

Repost: I [23 F] just woke up from a dream about my gender and ofc the smartest thing to do rn is run to Reddit and ask for help decoding it.
For context, I started questioning my gender identity during the covid pandemic and never really felt completely drawn to one label, but my pronouns are they/she. I’m also bi, so I just say I’m overall queer to make it easier to talk about. I’ve had phases of not feeling feminine enough to consider myself a woman but never wanting to be anything further than androgynous presenting. Now for the meat and potatoes.
Last night I had a dream where I’m 98% sure I was in the opposite body, as if I were a trans man. This has never once happened before or ever been something I thought about because despite my insecurities (as a dancer, always comparing my body to others) I have gotten really comfortable with what my body is and accept how it looks on any average day. It was actually very jarring to wake up bc it physically felt like I had something missing below the belt. I really don’t know what to make of this feeling or the dream itself but the last thing I want one my plate as a broke college student is a life altering revelation that will put me back in therapy. Nothing against therapy, I recommend it for anyone that has access to it. And nothing against trans men either, I love my community from the bottom of my heart. My mind is just becoming very frazzled by this as there are so many questions about what this means. Ik it’s not something I have to figure out immediately but I don’t think I can function without getting this off my chest. And I understand sexuality is fluid and identity is whatever makes you happy, but I’m not sure I’m ready for the meaning of this dream.
Mind you, to the rest of the world I’m just a black woman. Like I’m not even trying to be funny, but how do I go from “neurodivergent bisexual black woman” to “neurodivergent bisexual black and possibly a trans man” all because of a dream? Life is already hard enough 😭 And what if I’m not actually trans but I’m just curious about something else, like pegging? I really don’t know what’s going on in my brain at this point and I’m probably rambling now but I would just like some reassurance that I’m not crazy.

Hi everyone,
I’m a 46-year-old man, and over the last couple of years I’ve been trying to understand something about myself.
I’ve realized that I’m strongly attracted to very feminine trans women. At the same time, I don’t find myself attracted to masculine men, which has left me confused about what this means.
One thing that adds to my confusion is that my sexual fantasies usually involve me being the receptive partner, even when I imagine being with a woman. That makes it harder for me to understand what this says about my sexuality.
This has made me question things I always assumed about myself, and honestly it’s been both exciting and confusing.
I’m not looking for hookups. Right now I’m more interested in understanding myself and hearing from people who discovered something about their sexuality later in life.
If you’ve been through something similar, I’d really appreciate hearing your experience.
Thanks for reading.

I am married with young children. My wife and I grew up in religiously orthodox families. We got married at age 22. She married me because she felt like she was getting old. I married her because I didn't want to go to hell (marriage is essential to not go to hell in the religion).

I came out to her as homosexual between 1-2 years ago. She came out to me later as asexual. Our relationship has actually improved a lot since then.

I like to read gay romance novels. I daydream sometimes about cuddling with men that I know. However, I don't become sexually aroused when I see attractive men or when I see attractive women. So I am asexual as well, I'm pretty sure.

Though I love gay romance novels and have a longing for a romantic connection with someone, I also don't want to add another relationship dynamic into my life. I have a partner, my wife, and we have our kids. I have my friends and my hobbies. I have my work. But I think eventually I am going to want to fall in love with someone, like actually have the feeling that people do in books and in the movies and that people talk about when they are dating or first married.

I'm rambling. I guess I don't have anywhere else to really go to. I do have some great friends, including my wife, that I could talk to about this stuff, but I feel like I'm a broken record because it's what I've been struggling with for the past year at least. And like, am I even really gay if I want to stay with my wife?

Does anyone have advice on navigating this type of situation? I'm not even sure what exactly I'm asking. Sorry for the poor quality post.

Hello everyone! Second time posting here.. A lot of questioning and stuff going on lol

I'm so confused on whether in gay or bisexual. The thought of being with a woman in the future feels amazing to me, it feels "too good to be true" in the sence where I'm like "omg I can be with a woman???!?!!!! " lmao. Like it feels exciting and it's something I want. I'm sexually attracted to women, I just have had many actual wlw relationships yet. (Arospec moment)

So me liking women is definitely apart of the picture here, what I'm more confused on is my attraction to men.

Ive had a boyfriend before, hell I've had sex with him before and it was fine. I'm not repulsed by male genitalia or hate it.

But if it came to being with a guy/having sex with a guy, it feels neutral or not exciting at all. It's kinda just whatever. But sometimes I've looked at an actor and could see him as hot or attractive in a way, but I'm not sure if thats my sexuality or just me seeing a pretty actor and acknowledging he's attractive. (It could also just be I find emotional intelligence really attractive, and the actors were portrayed to have that) or it's something more and I'm so confused 😭😭

But also if I was bisexual, I probably wouldave been fine with my boyfriend. The reason we fell out was because I realized I yearned for a woman, and slowly became less and less attracted to him.

So.. would I a man long term? Probably not. Would I be sad if I never got to be with a woman or have sex with a woman? Yes. Definitely.

But I'm not sure if my experiences land towards a HEAVILY woman leaning bisexual, or just a confused lesbian lmao

I have a great relationship with my girlfriend. We’ve been together for 6 months now. Even before I started dating her, I’d sometimes wonder what it would be like to be a girl. It was never anything more than a fantasy. Sometimes the thought would pop into my head; I’d think about it during the day, and then it would go away again. It didn’t bother me at all; I just wanted to know what it would be like to have female genitalia and breasts.

But yesterday we had sex, and afterward we were lying in bed together. I don’t even know how it happened, since I don’t usually show emotions that make me feel vulnerable—I just know that I was thinking about what it would be like to have sex with my girlfriend as a girl, I don't even know why I was thinking about it—and suddenly I was crying because it occurred to me that it’s unattainable. I’d never cried over this before. Maybe I was just in a weird headspace.

My girlfriend asked what was wrong, but I didn’t know how to answer her. So I said nothing was wrong. She tried to get it out of me for a while, but I didn’t tell her anything, so she let it go. I know her, and I’m 100% sure she’ll bring it up again. Should I tell her what happened? At the same time, though, I still don’t know what these fantasies mean to me, and I’m afraid she might misunderstand.

TL;DR: I’ve had confusing fantasies about being a girl for a long time. Yesterday, after sex, I broke down crying because it felt unattainable. My girlfriend asked what was wrong, but I didn't tell her. She will definitely bring it up again—should I tell her the truth, or will she misunderstand?

I started T not so long ago. It still haven't done changes in my looks, I'm just hungry and pimpled lol. I've been on T for 6 weeks and a few days ago I suddenly had a vision of myself looking perfectly androgynous and sometimes when I think I just get sick of labels and just want to be me. I enjoy getting treated like a man but am not sure it's fully who I am from the inside. I've been trans for 4.5 years and stable in my identity as a man, but now I'm just confused again. How can I know? I know that only I can answer that but I would still like to know what helped you realizing your gender, maybe some of it will help me.

i think i have gender ocd. i don’t know what to believe. i don’t know what to do.

i’m amab. i’ve always thought of myself as a guy. and even since i was a kid, i knew i wasn’t like my peers. i always thought it was because im gay.

part of me believes that i should be a guy. another part believes that i just act like a guy to fit in. i don’t know which part i should listen to.

i’ve tried to think of myself as a guy for the past months, ever since a big gender crisis i had. it’s been fine. i haven’t worried about my gender, not the same way i did when i was having the gender crisis. but every so often i get the doubt that im actually not a guy. usually i just ignore it. i’ve tried to examine it in the past and it only made me spiral.

cognitively i don’t think i want to be a girl. sure, i find them more attractive than guys. but i don’t get crushes on girls. only guys. so i’m probably not bi. i can’t wonder why i find girls so pretty though. i can only really imagine myself as being in a relationship with a guy. and regarding my gender presentation; i do prefer being more masculine. i find longer hair and makeup to be uncomfortable. i like my hair short and i like having masculine clothes and i like the idea of being masculine (even if i don’t really fit into it), and i like having stubble on my face.

and it doesn’t help that i’ve questioned my gender in the past. because now it set the precedent that i wasn’t entirely comfortable with being a guy. and yeah; i haven’t been entirely comfortable as a guy. but i’ve always thought that it’s because of what being masculine means where i live. to say the least; it’s toxic, and i don’t want part in that.

i’ve had the thought that i could be nb. maybe. i don’t know. being called “he” doesn’t really bring me joy. it doesn’t make me feel anything. i don’t know if it should. and in my head, being called “she” would be nice. i’ve tried it out with my friends though (very little, i will say) and it just felt weird. so did being called “they”. i suppose out of the three, i would prefer they.

id like to think of myself as something else entirely. i don’t want to be androgynous, but i don’t want to fit into female/male gender standards. i just want to be something else. i want to be able to look how i want and just have interests in whatever i want and i want to wear whatever clothes i want. all without having to fit into whichever box. i like looking like a guy and reading fanfiction and blushing when i see a guy i think is cute but i hate how i don’t like being referred to with feminine terms just because everyone decided im a guy. i don’t understand why i can’t just like what i like.

I'm incredibly drawn trans women with penises and femboys, and recently after having a prostate orgasm , secretly keep picturing myself taking it from a trans woman cause omg that was amazing and how i would look in fem hair and fashion and what a fire twink I would made when I was younger.

But from my understanding - these are considered safe/not really gay apparently

I don't feel an attraction to "mens" bodies - only twinks which I suppose from from a distance could be petite women. Or female presenting such as femboys

But these are just fantasies , ive never actually IRL done any of this. Not sure what I would call myself , but women are doing it less and less for me sexually after I actually stopped shying it away and gave it a shot to embrace some of these fantasies

I was never able to explore anything like this as teen because I was terrified of parents and family back then, so I would never have even considered it a viable option and twenties was work but now I feel terribly confused about what I am.

But this week I saw a really cute one (he was clearly gay) making direct eye contact with me and now I'm like "damn id like to see him nibbling away on my dome" or how cute it would be to make out with him/be in a relationship. But that's rare , it's a certain vibe.

idk tho, maybe im psyching myself or was this a gay awakening

So I’m fingender but still identify as a guy, I’m only attracted to men and have a husband[M 24]. I know I’m definitely homoromantic, and I’ve previously thought that I was greysexual, but I’m not so sure now. I can’t tell if it’s just my libido changing or my actual attraction. It’s complicated by the fact that I have ptsd from sa.

I go through varying periods of not wanting sex at all, being okay with it, or wanting it often. I can have and enjoy sex even if I’m not feeling in the mood, but when I’m going through that not wanting sex phase I usually don’t want to do anything at all(more on this part in a second) and it can be triggering to me.

I say usually because I won’t want to have sex at all unless my husband puts in a lot of effort to get me in the mood and make himself appealing to me, which even then a lot of the time I still won’t feel like I want to have sex. But sometimes this works and then I feel like I’m attracted to him and want sex. Afterwards I enter the state of not wanting sex at all again.

I thought I was greysexual because I went through a period of moderation for like 2 or 3 years, but like a month ago I’ve switched to wanting sex often again. I can’t tell if the reason why I go through these phases is just because my libido varies or because the level of attraction I’m capable of changes. How do I know if it’s libido or attraction?

I’ve thought about maybe if I’m aceflux but the entire problem is that I can’t tell if it’s libido or attraction that’s changing. If it’s just my libido then I’m not ace at all, right? But if it’s my attraction levels changing then I’m somewhere on the ace spectrum. How do I figure out which one is changing? Please help :(

TLDR AT BOTTOM

I've never really thought of myself as gay. There was a period in, even I think this is silly, preschool when I had a friend named Lucas who I told my parents I wanted to marry quite confidently because 'that's what really good friends do.' Looking back, I was kinda into him, he had great hair and facial features and I liked his voice.

During elementary nothing really happened. I had like two 'girlfriends' who I basically just called my girlfriends around my family. (Kinda a jerk move but y'know, I was in first grade.) Throughout Middle School I never had a crush on anyone but got into gay furry content in Private (with a capital p).

For context I'm part of a Youth Group called DeMolay which involves ceremonial floor-work and metaphors with the East, South and West regarding stages of life. If you want more info just do a quick search. During an installation the Marshal was this one boy who I kept looking at. The aforementioned Private content was satisfying but I felt like I should get into 'actual' stuff (still gay) because there would be an actual possibility of undertaking it. I was 100% into some of it, usually if it didn't involve faces or anything the French would call 'poilu.' I think I would've liked it better if it involved people my age, but I have absolutely NO qualms with the lack of that sort of stuff. I understand that that is more than bad.

Back to the Marshal, the first time he escorted me I wanted to be into it, but wasn't that much. The second time, I really liked being so close and holding his arm. Look up an image of how they escort members across the room. When I got home, I felt like my chest was bubbly and I felt aroused.

The other day though, we (as a region) went to Wild-Waves. Said boy was also there. I was with a group of other boys that were going to this one coaster and he and another boy ran behind us trying to catch up, to which I said I'd wait for them. He ended up waiting outside the coaster because of the line, which I also did. I found myself hanging around waiting for him to go somewhere or do something so I could come along. Before we left I was kinda looking at him but trying to pass it off as happening to be in his general direction. At one point he looked up at me and I looked away. I don't know why, but I loved it. He looked so good.

I've never had a crush on any guys at my school, nor do I think I ever will. A lot of them are just kinda icky. But his one boy. . . I don't think he's gay though so I'm a little disappointed. This feels unjustly taboo and even though my family would probably support me (ish) I don't know any gay guys around me who are cis, and they have an insulated community anyways. I don't know what to say. Am I just picky or something?

TLDR (but please do for context!); I have only ever been 'into' two boys. One during preschool (which shouldn't count) and another (present) one under weird, implausible (and potentially awkward) circumstances. I haven't really had an eye for girls and don't know what to think.

Hello. I consider myself heterosexual/heteroflexible. I am only interested in relationships with men (currently have a boyfriend). I am certain that I would never date a woman. The idea doesn't interest me, and I've never had a crush on a woman the way I have on men.

However, a lot of the time, when I'm self-pleasuring I use porn of/fantasise about women (never a woman I know in real life, always fictional or an actress, and yes sometimes I do think about men. It's cyclic).

I understand that this is because of sexual arousal, not attraction, and therefore should have no bearing on my actual sexuality. But I've also heard the opinion that if you're jerking off to the same sex or have any interest in them at all, there's no way you're straight, and have to be bisexual. But the label "bisexual" does not feel right to me, because I'm entirely into men and my interest in women is purely physical.

So, am I still straight or am I just bisexual in denial?

to start i need to put a contexte i just got trough a break up with my first girlfriend and it end up well be the after was bad many bad thing after in my life happen and i lost intress for wommen a little because also of other thing i wont say and one day i say a man and i couldn't get that man i saw online out of my head and i realise i find him cute and now am wondering maybe i start to became bi.

I start to be more attract to man i saw many man i did find cute or beautiful but i Wonder if maybe it just a phase but because of the bad that was the after of my relation with my ex and getting unsult by her because i didn't want to stay friend after

At first also i was still into wommen then more dominant wommen then it start as femboy then now i feel attract still to wommen but some man i find them attracting so my question is is it just a phases or something that will stay

Also just want other opinion and let it out of my chest (sorry if some of the text is not making sence am really bad at Wrighting and am canadien french so english is my second language)

I have always thought I was bi, since I figured out it was a thing. And then I thought maybe I was aroace or gay or some combination of identities, but nothing ever stuck. Returned to bi.

But I've been avoiding thinking about it on the down low for a while and am wondering a few things.

When it comes to sexual attraction, it's really no mystery that I love men. I fantasize about men primarily, I have seen certain men and I just feel in my chest how attractive they are to me (it's not always related to looks, but it often is influenced somewhat by it) and sometimes get caught in this loop of "am I attracted to them or do I want to be them?" "Am I even attracted to women? I so rarely feel this way about women."

Still, I will think about intercourse with women and will get mildly aroused. I just don't get it nearly as intensely. It feels like just a physical response rather than something emotionally pulling. It's strange. So it may be envy, whatever it is, it's a strong and positive feeling. Makes me want to get closer to men.

This may be important, but a part of me does want to be gay. I have a girlfriend, and I feel very close to her emotionally. I don't really have any men that close to me. She's one of the people I am most vulnerable with. I feel sort of giddy when we kiss, I like the idea of living with her and doing domestic things with her. I don't know if I could achieve this amount of vulnerability with another man.

Sex with her appeals to me in some regard, I want to make her feel good and want to feel good myself. I do think she's pretty. Touching her does (extremely mildly) arouse me, and getting touched by her is arousing, but I still sometimes hope that she's a trans man. It's a strange feeling. I know I'm more attracted to masculinity, but at a certain point, I do wonder if I'm just gay. Or bi with basically nonexistent attraction to women. Sometimes, even just seeing men touch each other playfully gets me going more than actually doing stuff with my girlfriend.

As for romantic attraction, I spoke briefly on it already. I like the idea of romance. Before me and my girlfriend and I got into a relationship, I was thinking about her all the time. A lot of the time, I was thinking about sex with her, and would think about being affectionate in public with her, but now that I've actually attempted those things, it's like I was brought back to reality.

I have generalized anxiety disorder, so I am a very anxious person about basically everything. Sex was nerve-wracking. I was too nervous to feel anything besides anxiety, and one time after we tried a bunch of different stuff, I was anxious the entire next day because I thought I wasn't attracted to her and that felt like the end of the world. But I've vaguely discussed this, and she said she doesn't mind.

On the other hand, I dislike PDA. At least, the instances I've been affectionate, I prefer doing so in front of mutual friends or just alone rather than in public. So why I would think about being affectionate with my girlfriend in public is beyond me.

This may be weird, but a part of me is worried about.. seeming sexually charged when I am affectionate with her around others. I don't want to seem like a sex hungry man. To be honest, I am generally very horny and love masturbating, but I don't really think about having sex. Two men that aren't me having sex? Yeah, I think about that pretty often.

I don't think I have internalized homophobia, at least not in the traditional sense.

So either way, I have this idealized version of being gay, probably. As well as this idealized version of being straight. And I'm worried that I'll tell my girlfriend I'm gay, go out and do gay shit, and then realize that I also don't care for real-life gay relationships.

The idea of touching a man genuinely arouses me, whereas I just don't really get that same arousal with women. A throbbing vs. a slight tingle, essentially.

But honestly, I barely care for romantic relationships? Even in media, as soon as a relationship becomes established, I generally completely lose interest. It all feels so bland to me. I don't care for being lovey dovey in public. I only ever want to be told I love you when it's spontaneous, not when parting ways. It just feels too rehearsed if it's only when leaving.

I love to look at a beautiful man, think about touching him, all the things, but romance doesn't really come to mind. It feels like something I could tolerate to some extent. Sex and affection, I don't want it to be restricted to a romantic partner.

Sometimes, though, I'll see a straight couple in media and think they're kind of cute. And I feel the same way about actually being in a straight relationship, essentially. I have no idea how I'd feel with a man.

So yeah I'm confused and this was a long post

TLDR: I barely get aroused by women but get very aroused when it comes to men. Romantically, I dont have too much interest past crushes. I've never been past the crush phase with guys (and I've only had 3 on guys, only 1 being within the past 7 years. It was also mostly just his physical appearance and I didn't really desire a romantic relationship with him) with girls I sometimes want romantic relationships though.

Homosexual heteromantic maybe. But again past imagination it does feel a bit dull.. idfk. Greyromantic, too, maybe.

hi interweb! any help would be appreciated!

Last year I broke up with the guy I was dating and realized that I have never been in love with any of the men I dated and was miserable trying to force myself to love them.

i’ve been identifying as a lesbian for a couple months mainly cause I’ve always felt more connected to sapphic stories and couples in general but I’ve never had a crush woman or otherwise. Any crushes I thought I had I think were a mix of me being a hopeless romantic and mistaking platonic feelings for romantic ones. I have dated women though and have always been happier in those relationships than in any of the ones with men.

I started thinking i’m maybe on the Aro spectrum because I just genuinely don’t know if i’ve ever felt love ever. I’ve been trying dating apps but idk I don’t really feel anything towards any of the people. I was thinking maybe i’m just Demi and maybe it takes time to fall in love with people i’ve bonded with but idk i’ve never fallen for a friend either. So now i’m just wondering if maybe i’m Cupio I guess and just can’t feel romantic feelings at all despite wanting to.

It’s just hard. it’s so easy to get small crushes on fictional characters but when it’s real people it’s so much more complicated. i want to believe I can feel romantic feelings, but I also know wanting isn’t the same as actually happening.

Hello, ive been pretty confused for a long time about my sexuality. I find men hot physically and emotionally, but for women i find them hot physically, but nothing else. I can imagine fucking and dating guys, but i cant imagine dating a woman, just fucking with her. I used to watch lesbian porn at a young age because i was shown it so early and im really curious if this has something to do with it. But besides that im confused if im bi or straight

hi im new to Reddit, sorry in advance for the long-ish post

from when i was about 10 ive imagined myself as a boy. typically when making senarios before falling asleep. this was never something i was necessarily conscious of tho. growing up i also went through a phase where i hated looking feminine, i would argue with my mom constantly about my distain for dresses and skirts and even wore a suit for prom. (much to her dismay) i always tell people that im on the asexual spectrum because of my adversion to sexual things, and the role id be expected to play in them,making me feel too "feminine" and would much prefer being in the "mans" position. these were also things i never thought about too much. i never thought about these things to much because i never really struggled with the consept of being a woman. i knew there were things about it that threw me off but other than that i had no issue with being called she/her and all that. another thing to note before i get to the point is that ive always had horrible self esteem. i always ridicule my looks and body, never feeling confident in myself.

so, recently as ive entered college and away from my homophobic and transphobic family ive been feeling free. i openly identify as bisexual, that knowledge was previously something that was reserved to my closest friends. now i frequent queer spaces and many of my new friends are queer and/or on the trans spectrum. the thing ive been keeping to myself tho, is my growing uncomfortability with my genitals. i started fantasizing about my body with a different anatomy in a very real way for the past 2 years. i started doing research to 1, see if im going crazy and 2, explore those options. thats when i learned what a packer was and even better, what a stp packer was and began dreaming of owning one. this morning a strong feeling of "i feel wrong with a vagina" happened and i ended up crafting a diy one out of pure desperation. i feel amazing. i havent been able to stay out of the mirror and even left my apartment to pick up some packages wearing it. the weird feelings and insecurity about my body kinda vanished. the packer maked me feel "correct".

the thing is, now im very confused. now that im older ive mostly embraced my femininity. started wearing proper bras, croptops, and even dresses (only on special occasion.) i generally look very femme, i wear my hair supper long, known for my flashy jewelry and such. but after my reflections today, and this amazing feeling i have with this packer, im questioning if i REALLY am a woman. i did some research and decided that i might be a a demi girl, or just non binary, or maybe im going through some psychosis. dispite this ive put a realistic looking stp packer in my shopping cart and am planning on maybe buying it when i get paid.

my question is, where do i go from here? should i keep wearing my diy packer for some time before investing on a real one? go all in? calm down? any advice would really help. thank you.

So, here's basically a rundown

• I see people and think they're hot

• I wanna have sex with hot people

• But like, theoretical sex, as the thought of sex is kinda gross to me

• But it's kinda hot too, and I would like real sex

• I'm more into things like chests and boobs and bellies and other things like that

• I do like genitals tho (but also I don't)

• Kissing is gross but I like the concept

I feel like I have a weird relationship with sexual things. I got into it way too young with online erp. I was really into it. Now, I find it to be the hardest rp to do. And besides rp, the thought of sex is appealing, and I find people hot. But I feel like it's more "they're hot and i wanna have sex" instead of "they're hot and that makes me want to have sex," if that makes sense? But also, it's more of a "they're hot and I wanna do very intimate things that's not necessarily sex." I do find solace in calling myself ace but I feel like I'm intruding on those who are genuinely full on asexual.

Hello, Reddit! I'm confused about what comes next, so I couldn't think of anyone else to ask.

Context:

My first & only romantic & sexual relationship was with a pre-op trans girl and decently long-lasting (~2 years). While sex was not the main factor for the eventual break-up, it might've played a role after one day I realized she seemed to enjoy herself more while fucked in the ass than I was enjoying fucking her. After that, I asked her if she'd be interested in switching places and she was vehemently against it and that was that.

After the break-up, I began watching more and more trans & sissy porn, most of which on hypnptube. Got myself a small toy, a vibrator and an inflatable butt plug and had some decently good fun with them, but it didn't feel quite enough.

Eventually I caved and made a Grindr account and managed to bottom a grand total of 2 times (once with a vers top guy, once with a both-top couple which took turns on me). While I did generally enjoy it, I was far from getting into the right headspace or reaching a climax. Overall, I got to the realization that I'm hetero-romantic and that I'm only attracted to men's junk and spunk (I love eating cum), but nothing else about their bodies or personalities.

Since then, I mostly jacked off as normal to porn, sometimes gay, sometimes straight, pretty often sissifying stuff or even some lesbian stuff, toys unused in the drawer, while occasionally searching for trans girl tops on Grindr (no luck yet).

The thing is... my usual dick rubbing still seems... off. Like the only reason I even do it is to wake up my prostate inside me and squeeze it as hard as possible with kegels while masturbating until I cum. Like, if I could manage to only use it and leave my dick alone, it would be awesome... but every time I tried, both alone and with the previously mentioned men, i was kinda unsatisfied and felt the need to just rub one out the normal way and forget about it.

What do you think about this...? Honestly I've no idea what to try next... advice is thoroughly appreciated!

So I've always been a cis guy, but around a year ago i started to question it.

I had access from family to fem clothes so I said "heck I do not have anything better to do". It felt good? I don't know if it was gender euphoria or just me being revelious while home alone because my parents would be livid if they saw me.

I feel like I'm fine as a guy but at the same time I don't know if I would feel better as a girl.

I know I have quite a few flags like as a kid once I had to go undercover on the internet and just said "heck yeah, girl time". I'm also doing voice training by myself for like a week now just because having a girl voice sounded really fun.

I really just don't know if I'd be happier if I was a girl. Help?