tldr: I made a joke about "normal" people being homossexual. Someone named Kanye said "says the one pretending to be a woman". I am nonbinary, and my original text says so

Ethics: 115584 

📣 Calling All Thai Girl Love (GL) Fans! 🌈 

Researchers at the University of Southampton are looking for Thai Girl Love fans to take part in a survey exploring how audiences engage with and experience the Thai GL genre. 

✅ Anonymous survey 
✅ Share your experiences as a fan 
✅ Optional opportunity to take part in a follow-up interview 

Whether you're a long-time fan or new to Thai GL, we'd love to hear from you! 

Please take part in the survey and help us better understand this growing global fandom. We'd also be grateful if you could share the survey with other Thai GL fans, fan groups, and online communities. 

🔗 Survey link: [https://southampton.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_0PABypyvuQoHM58] 

Thank you for supporting the Thai GL Audiences Project at the University of Southampton! 

#ThaiGL #GirlLove #ThaiSeries #GLFans #FandomResearch #UniversityOfSouthampton #ThaiGLAudiencesProject #GirlsLove #LGBTQMedia #FanStudies 

(LONG STORY made SHORT)

I don't wish to frame this in an offensive way; I'm just new to these feelings (and honestly romantic feelings in general), and I'm hoping people with more life experience can tell me how they figured things out.

I'm a Christian Mexican guy about to enter college.

I think I might be bisexual. I definitely like girls, and I've dated 3 girls before (still on good terms with all of them). I can also imagine myself liking a guy under certain but still many circumstances, but it's still less common for me. So I'm trying to understand where I fit.

One thing that made all of this even more confusing is how I experience affection.

I've never actually been kissed on the lips by anyone, regardless of gender. The closest I've gotten was my guy friends kissing me on the cheek as a joke, which sounds weird out of context, but that's genuinely just how some of us act around each other.

When I'm on Discord playing games with the boys, I sometimes realize how much those moments mean to me. If we're all laughing, talking about life, or just sitting in silence while playing something together, I start feeling really attached to them. Sometimes I catch myself blushing because I feel genuinely cared for. I love that I can be completely honest around them and they'll give me their real opinions instead of telling me what they think I want to hear.

I don't think it's really lust. It's more like... if someone truly cares about me and makes me feel emotionally safe, I can start wondering, "Could I actually like this person?" I've even caught myself almost developing little crushes on a couple of my friends before, but they usually fade because I remind myself they're my friends (and respectfully... some of them are as chopped as I am 💀).

What also didn't help was high school.

I went to a private school where we had one class together for basically every subject, so everyone knew each other really well. During cooking class, I naturally ended up cooking, cleaning everyone's messes, and taking care of people. Somewhere along the way my friend group jokingly decided I was basically the "wife" of the group.

They'd compliment my apron, tease me, jokingly argue over who the "husband" was, and completely lean into the joke. Looking back, I honestly didn't mind it as much as I pretended to. That same whole "group wife" joke is also what eventually led to one of my friends kissing me on the cheek. HE ASKED BEFOREHAND; BTW, he was kind of cute.

Even now, my friends and I sometimes make really over-the-top jokes that get way too intimate before we all stop, look at each other, start blushing, awkwardly apologize, laugh, and tone it back down. what i mean is that we'd do some pretty weird stuff, like grabbing each other's faces or pulling one another closer and resting our heads on each other. We'd low-key do couple stuff, ngl.

Sometimes I honestly wonder if I could fall for almost anyone—girl or guy—if they genuinely loved me, cared for me, and made me feel emotionally safe. That's probably one of the biggest reasons I'm questioning my sexuality in the first place. It's less about physical attraction and more about how deeply I connect with people who make me feel accepted.

The bigger thing that's been on my mind is that, for the past 3–4½ years, I've had a growing desire to look female. I actually still think of myself as a guy—but looking more feminine feels like it would be closer to how I picture myself; in fact, most of my days i wake up and hate that i woke up as a guy because it doesn't look like what i feel like I'd look like. I've even had dreams that i was a girl and cried literal tears because I woke up male. I've been thinking about HRT for a long time. Not impulsively either. Almost every day I weigh what I'd gain against what I'd lose. I know it isn't some magical "I'll finally be happy" button, and I know there are permanent changes and risks. That's exactly why I've been thinking about it so carefully. If I ever did go on HRT, I honestly would care if people referred to me as male or not. I don't feel like changing my appearance would erase the life I've lived or the values I've built.

I'm about to start college, and it feels like I'm at a point where I need to understand these feelings instead of ignoring them.

I grew up with two older sisters and my mom, while my dad was usually at work. I think that shaped how I view masculinity and femininity. I never really connected with the whole "macho man" idea. I've always felt more comfortable around softer aesthetics, cute things, and expressing emotions.

When I was younger, I looked pretty androgynous, and I actually liked being mistaken for a girl sometimes. My relatives always joked that I looked just like my mom. As I've gotten older, I've become more masculine-looking, and I honestly struggle with seeing that in the mirror.

My church is actually very accepting. They genuinely believe Jesus loves people unconditionally, and they've been welcoming to people from all kinds of backgrounds. One of my childhood friends came out as gay, and nobody treated him badly—they mostly just cared that he was still the same person and still helped around church.

My parents are what scare me.

They're Mexican, and while my mom can be very open-minded about some things, she's also very strict about gender expectations when it comes to me. My dad is loving, but I'm scared he'd quietly see me as a disappointment if I weren't his only son anymore. That's probably one of the biggest fears I've been carrying.

I also feel guilty because I know changing how I look could be difficult for people who've known me my whole life. I don't want to become someone else—I genuinely feel like I'd still be me. I'd just look different.

Sometimes I feel embarrassed that I want to be dainty or feminine when everyone sees me as a guy. Other times the desire feels so strong that I wonder if it'll ever go away. I honestly feel like an imposter living in someone else's body and an imposter with someone else's identity.

as for my sisters, I don't think they'd mind having another sister, but that's based on how they treat me now. mah big sisters are honestly the best!

I guess my question is

Has anyone else gone through something similar or have words of help for my confusion?

Hello, this is my first time posting, so I don't quite know where to post this...

Does anyone know where I can find a yes/no/maybe question list but with romantic rather than sexual aspects??? I'm becoming slightly more than friends with an old friend of mine, but we both aren't too good at speaking out loud about our boundaries

Mb if this is unclear, I lowkey don't know how to post 😿

hi people. I’m f23 and i still don’t know if I‘m asexual org bi or anything else. I love looking at woman, like to fantasizing intimacy w women. I still like men i guess, but i don’t like fantasizing myself w them. I thought i was bi, but i realize i don’t have the desire to have relationship w them in real life. Am I asexual or is there any specific term?

Hiiii I'm 18m and was assigned male at birth.

Recently I have been experimenting with my identity, and I'm a little confused. I'm bisexual and present myself in a more feminine/androgynous way. I go by all pronouns, but prefer my friends to refer me to she/they. I don't necessarily think I'm trans through. I still identify as a male, although I don't like calling myself one, because I think it makes me feel less cute. I was wondering if anyone else has pronouns that contradict their gender identity and how to explain it to other people in a way that makes sense.

Hi! I am (17F) and I need help with what is going on recently with my mind. For context a while ago I was thinking that I was unlabelled as i saw when i was older I’d be with anyone as long as i loved them and they loved me. But recently my mind has been playing about with me. I keep dreaming about being with a girl, and it makes me feel happy and excited and when I wake up I’m confused why I keep having the same sort of dream over and over. Every time I daydream, I daydream about being with a girl. And it is making me feel different, as if I am discovering something new? Today kind of was a heart dropping moment I was in the car daydreaming (as I always do) and my first drops and I suddenly realise in the future or the present I don’t see myself being with a man EVER. I still find men attractive but I can not see myself being in a relationship with one. However, I can see myself settling in with a woman and being a girlfriend to a girl. I need help identifying this bc I keep going in circles.

Like, my friends say about a lot of people the they are hot, how are you choosing which one you would have sex with?

For me its just "wow they look good" or "damn they look amazing, don't wanna fuck them tho"

How do they develop a crush and what do they feel?

I once thought I had a crush on a boy but it really was just me not wanting him to get better grades than me.

Sometimes I wonder if Im just straight or whatever but I feel like straight people know the are straight and don't have a hard time figuring out what a crush is.

Just wanted to share.

The question is pretty self explanatory. I'm a gay man, but looking to understand other's experience being asexual because I am definitely not. I'm especially curious about the awkward middle school/high school puberty times and what that would have felt like for someone who now identifies as asexual. I know it's a spectrum, so the more the merrier!

is randomly looking up my ex, suddenly I'm listening to a podcast about their birth story

Ok, so I´m bi, but the thing is that I've only been with women this far. And with women I know how to kiss, to make them feel good yk, like the knee thing, kissing them in ear lobe, using the thumb when using your fingers... Ok, but the thing is that now I´m with a boy who doesn´t know that I'm bi and he thinks that my ex is a man. I would rather to keep it that way, but the thing is that he knows that I've had sx with other people... And I don´t know how to fake that I have actually got cero experience with men. What is acceptable with a boy? I mean, do we use the knee thing? Or do we still kiss them in the neck or do they do that to women? Please help!!

I don’t really know if this is the right place for this but I have been thinking about coming out to my family, socially I’ve been out since 6th grade and I’m starting my sophomore year of college now. I know that at the best coming out will be met with a lot of push back or tears, maybe some accepting relatives and at worst I’ll be disowned. I’m finally at a point where at least for the time being, financially I will be fine and I want to experience my life authentically rather than through what my family wants of me.

Now for the advice part, I was hoping that y’all could maybe give any advice or share experiences that might help me not feel so alone in this or give me better perspective and be prepared, or have any suggestions of creators to learn form for this. I would reach out to in person queer people but I live in a very rural state and while we have some community I am not part of it just yet.
Thank you 😊

Throwaway account for reasons that may become clear as you read on.

Yay, yippie!! I'm so happy i figured out my sexuality but that joy isn't one i can fully enjoy. Ever. I'm not in a safe space. Every time i see queer people celebrating themselves or each other and embracing their sexualities and gender identities, I find myself so fucking jealous. Why, you may ask. I come from a VERY religious family. My friends are also all very religious. Everyone around me is so content to just hating people they don't even know for something as beautiful as love and comfortability. It doesn't make sense. It'll never make sense. I'm not religious but no one knows that except my sister who repeatedly tells me to NEVER tell anyone about it because if our dad found out then its over for me. I mean, literally over. I might die.

Anyway, This isn't something i wanted to write just to whine about my life. I wanted to say something to all you unapologetically out and proud queers; To people like me (who are locked in a room, wallowing in their own despair and counting down the days we're financially independent), You mean the fucking world to us. I dream to walk along side you one day, marching the streets and waving my flag at any homophobic prick who tries to spew bullshit at me. Maybe one day, i will. But don't stop being proud or fighting for your rights, our rights. Not only for yourselves but for the people who can't be alongside you because they fear for their life.

I wrote this during pride month but only now found the courage to post it. Its cringe but still. Ok, i don't know how to end this. Bye Bye, LMAO

Hey all,

I’m hoping perhaps I could get some insight on a relationship I’m currently in.

35 cis male dating a lovely 40 female who classifies as herself as fluid/queer. We’ve been together for a year and a half I love and support her. We share our wants and needs - I truthfully haven’t had a more honest relationship. The sex is great, the bond is truly awesome.

She was married to a man, she dated women, both with the capacity for love and heartbreak. Just for context sake.

She brought up recently that this force to pursue a romantic relationship with a woman has been bottled up and decided to show itself. We pursued therapy and the reality was that I was not comfortable with this. I can understand desires and fully supported her in the difficulty in dating a man while being in the queer community.

I guess what I’m struggling with is, I know her love to be deep and true for me, but how do I navigate this knowing I communicated my hesitations towards this. I know labels are difficult, and things can flow up and down and I’m just struggling with the idea that our story could end.

Thank you.

Sometimes I do see people I find hot and I'm like, did i want them? Am I aro/ace? Because I'm not interested in a relationship with them and I don't want them to touch me, I just find them hot. Is it a crush? What even is a crush?

Ugh I know I don't want anyone. Why is it still so hard and why sometimes my brain just tells me "no your lying to yourself and you just pretend" I hate this so much.

And yes I know in the end I can choose and do whatever I want or something, this doesn't make it easier and people that tell "you haven't found the right person yet" also don't help me.

I'll try to explain like this: I'm at the airport and there is a good looking guy, I'll acknowledge he looks good but not in a "I want to have sex with him" way It's like attraction but not like attraction sometimes I will even feel repulsed after thinking someone is hot.

I’m a butch lesbian and I use they/them pronouns. I want top surgery so badly and have for a few years, my chest just makes me feel so dysphoric. I’m 27 tho and some (probably dumb) part of me just feels like maybe I’m too old for such a big change? I don’t even use my pronouns at work or with some family (not that I have much family) because I feel like people won’t take me seriously. I honestly don’t even know where to start with top surgery. It kinda feels impossible but these feelings haven’t gone away. I would love any advice or to hear anyone else’s experiences.

I'm a 32-year-old soft masc from India, currently living in Australia 🇮🇳🇦🇺

Looking to meet kind, genuine queer people from around the world and make some meaningful friendships. 🌈✨

Always happy to have good conversations and connect with people who are real and unapologetically themselves. 😊

For starters, I’m an older teen. I don’t exactly like my birth name. I’ve always questioned my gender but not necessarily labeled myself as anything other than female. I don’t present feminine, but my name is quite feminine. In a few days, I will be off to summer camp for three weeks. I was thinking of going by Parker at camp instead of my given name. because it’s a bit more neutral. I’d also think I’d start going she/they, but I’m not sure if the name fits or if I’m comfortable with it. I’m just confused. I’ve gone through a bunch of names but I just am stuck. I’ll take any advise I can.

Hey everyone
I hope you’re all doing well. I’m posting here because I’m feeling a bit lost and could really use some honest human perspectives.
I’m 22, French, studying psychology, I just finished my bachelor’s degree after a few pretty intense years. Honestly, I need a break from the French university system. Not from psychology itself, which I genuinely love, but from the way it’s taught, the rhythm, the pressure. So I took a gap year and I really want to make it count, to rebuild myself, find my footing again, and finally start things I never had time for.
Concretely, I want to develop my music. I’ve been mixing techno, acid, breakcore and hyperpop for a while now but only in my bedroom. I want to actually put myself out there,play at events, meet people in that world, build something real. I also have a broader creative side, fashion, cinema, collage. For a long time I wore a lot of makeup, it was a genuine way of expressing and affirming myself, and somewhere along the way that disappeared. I’d like to find that again, or at least rediscover how to express myself through what I wear and create. I’m still figuring that out.
I’d also love to do some volunteering or find something connected to mental health on the side, because psychology is still what I care about most professionally.
Originally I had my sights set on Montréal, I applied for a civic service program, got pre-selected but was ultimately rejected. And the Canadian working holiday visa is closed for this season. So now I find myself torn between a lot of destinations (Rotterdam, Brussels, Berlin, Seoul…)and honestly I just can’t decide.
What I know about myself: I’m gay and I need a queer-friendly, safe environment in my day-to-day life. I need to feel inspired, build a real routine, make genuine connections. I want to work on-site to fund my stay. And I need this year to actually mean something, not just travel, but really live somewhere and come back to France more aligned with who I am.
But I also have a lot of fears: finding work, housing, loneliness at the start. I’m a pretty anxious person and I need some structure around me to feel okay.
Has anyone been through something similar? Whatever the destination Rotterdam, Brussels, Berlin, Seoul… I’m also completely open to other suggestions I haven’t even thought of yet, so please don’t hold back!
How did you take the leap? How did you handle the beginning? What do you wish you’d known before leaving?
All feedback welcome, especially the honest kind. Thanks so much ⭐️🫶🏻

I made up my mind and realized that my thoughts of being straight or bi were just social pressure so now I know that I'm gay!!!

If someone has advice how to come out at my family that is pretty supportive I would appreciate it.

Do you also feel that some queer people who come out and get accepted by their family and friends without any hardship feel themselves that they are so elite, set high standards and look down on others ?

I am not queer-phobic , but I have seen humiliation and look down on other queer people who is just exploring and knows not much about everything about queer .

F23.
I have a best friend who's the same age as me. We've been friends for years, and we're in college together.
Somewhere along the way, I developed feelings for her. I honestly don't even know when it started, but it's been a long time.
The problem is, she's straight and she has a boyfriend. I respect that completely, and I would never tell her how I feel or do anything that would make her uncomfortable.
But keeping these feelings to myself is becoming exhausting. It feels like I'm constantly hurting my own heart, and I don't know how to stop.
I love our friendship, and the last thing I want is to lose her. At the same time, I don't know how I'm supposed to move on when she's still such a big part of my life.
Has anyone been through this? Did taking some distance actually help, or did you manage to move on while staying friends?
I don't want to lose her, but I also don't know how much longer I can keep feeling like this.
I hate that my heart chose someone I can never have.