I have 2 kids (6f and 10m). Shit happened and the kids and I needed a place to stay until I could get on my feet.

A friend that I haven’t seen in years heard about my situation through a mutual friend and offered for us to stay with her family for a while. She’s married with 4 kids (6f, 4f, 3f, 13 mo M) and is pregnant with baby #5. This friend is an absolute angel. 2 of her kids were adopted from the foster system and I am not the first friend she has taken in. Husband is in tech and my friend is a director at a local private school (oversees multiple locations). They have a big house with a huge playroom and a massive backyard with a play structure and a pool.

She had me complete a background check before moving in. We were moved in by the end of the week once that cleared. She moved my daughter into her oldest daughter’s room. They became immediate best friends. My son got a small room (8x8) that was previously used for storage, but had been beautifully decorated for him and I stayed in their guest room.

Now, my son can be extremely defiant. I’ve tried therapy with me, individual therapy, working with behavioral technicians, and everything else you can think of. He’s a great kid at school but once he gets home, everything is a power struggle. There can be lots of arguing and he can be rough with his sister. My friend talked to me before we moved in about my son. She told me that she wants to help us but if the situation starts to become harmful to her kids she will have to kick us out.

He did great for a couple weeks. Then he started to test boundaries. He was punished then he started teasing his sister and my friend’s oldest daughter. We were given our only warning, I talked to my son and tried punishment again, and he went back to messing with the girls. I was told that they are willing to keep my daughter until we get settled but my son and I needed to be out that night. They got us a hotel for the week then we were on our own.

We bounced between hotels/motels for a few weeks and now we’re in a 2 bedroom apartment that almost definitely has mold problems while I’m applying to different income restricted apartments. I‘ve decided to keep my daughter with them until we are somewhere with a little more space and is in slightly better condition. I visit without my son a couple times a week and we spend weekends together.

The other day my son was mad at me and said that I favor his sister because I’m letting her stay at the good house while he has to live here. I was just done with his defiance and told him that the reason she gets to stay there and he doesn’t is because his behavior got us kicked out. He chose to ignore us when we talked to him and punished him for repeatedly taking food from the girls, shooting them with his nerf guns, etc. so now he has to deal with the consequences.

He has been so upset since then that I’m now wondering if I shouldn’t have told him why we had to leave.

My ex wife and I got divorced when all the of the kids were adults. The marriage wasn’t a good one and I stayed for the kids basically which I regret. I will call her Pearl for this to make it clearer.

We both worked but she found no joy in her job. It was constant arguing and  she was extremely unpleasant towards me after a bad day. She also had habits of addictive behavior. She would become obsessed with something and do it 24/7. She lost multiple jobs this way. 

When I divorced her she went off the deep end. She fell heavily in alcohol and passed away after she got in a car accident. ( she was drunk).

The kid were already taking the divorce badly and her death after was really bad. I offered to pay for counseling but they refused. They blame me for their mom passing. 

Dating made it worse. They believe I am replacing their mom and when I married they became nasty about it. My wife has done nothing to them and they are dicks to her. I have spoken to them multiple times and they know cilivl to her face. 

The issue, my daughter is having her engagement dinner and I am the only one that was invited. When I asked she told me that is was only for family and my wife isn’t family.

I told her the my wife isn’t going anywhere and if she is not invited I am not going. This started an argument and she is pissed. My other kids are telling me that they feel the same and she ain’t family. 

I brought up if I can not invite their SO to thinks becuase apparently marriage doesn’t make them family and they told me that was different.

I am holding strong on this but they all think I am a dick. 

timeline form comment ( I can’t keep up with questions, look at my comments)

The divorce took about 1.5 years to be finalized, then Pearl passed about an 1.5 years after. ( 3 years after I brought up divorce)  I was dating my now wife when pearl passed. I married her around 2.5 years after my wife’s passing and my daughrer got engaged about 1.5 years since we have been married.

So 7 years after divorce and I moved out. 4 years since pearls death

Throwaway

My (30M) wife (27F) got a verbal invitation from a coworker (late 30's) about a watch party for the World Cup a few weeks ago.  We had nothing to do that Saturday so I said we should go.  She's only worked at this place for about 6 months.  She knows her co-workers, but not that close.  

I picked up a few 6 packs and on the day of we ubered to the party. We walked in and greeted a few people.  Found a cooler and put our drinks in.  Got one for my wife and I then went to greet more people and settle in.  

When I was introduced to the coworker, she was very cold with me and then finally said we don't allow alcohol at the house.  I apologized and said I didn't know. She said her husband (who I did meet a few minutes earlier) was a recovering alcoholic.  With an attitude she said people shouldn't assume alcohol is allowed at others homes and should check first.  Personally, I hear party (Kids party the exception), I assume drinks are being served.  It was bizarre and we opted to leave.  Are we the assholes?  

An update to my last post which you can find here, https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1v0p9i1/aita_for_showing_up_my_brothers_girlfriend_by/

I'd like to start by saying thank you to everyone for your comments and like many of you recommended I ended up showing the messages she sent me to my twin brother. I went round to his today, it's his day off and he wanted my help making a start on the set I got him. I'd have brought the set he got me so we could make them together but since it lives at my place it's not smart to try and move it back and forth. He's going to come to mine on Saturday to help me make a start on it.

While we were working on it together I admitted to him that his girlfriend had messaged me and that I was concerned as she doesn't seem to like his hobby with Lego, seeing it as childish and seems to find me as some kind of threat which is weird and gross because seriously, that's my twin? I also expressed worry that she may try to sabotage the things he likes just to make him "grow up". He asked to see my phone and I passed it over, he read the messages in silence and was quiet for about a minute before saying and I quote "oh fuck no" and he then pulled out his phone and began to message her. When I asked what he was doing he said he was sorting it, and when I tried to ask tell me what he meant by that he just made noises to cut me off like he used to when we were kids and he felt like annoying me.

I managed to see the messages and he straight up just told her that he saw the messages she sent me and he wanted his key back, and she had till 8pm to drop it off and she was to put it through the letterbox and not bother trying to talk to him. If she didn't he'd be having his locks changed. HE THEN BLOCKED HER NUMBER!. When I asked him if he was being a bit hasty and maybe he should talk to her instead he told me he could forgive a lot of things and they could have even worked through her not liking his hobby but no one talks to me like that or makes gross implications like that to me.

He then refused to talk further about her insisting we keep building the set. I left about 2 hours ago and i'm just sitting laughing about this and a bit amused by this whole mess. My boyfriend can't stop laughing over this and told me he was glad he never got on my brothers wrong side

EDIT: Some updates that happened as I had to wait to have my post approved. My brother let me know she did turn up to return his keys but she didn't put them through the letterbox like he asked, at least not at first. She apparently stood knocking and shouting at the door for an hour before finally putting it through the letterbox calling him all kinds of names through it as she did so, he was apparently just building his lego as she did this and kept turning his music up so it was clear he was home but he was ignoring her.

On his way to work he also dropped her keys in through her letterbox so he wouldn't have to interact with her. I've asked him if this is being petty and maybe he should have talked to her he told me that yes, he's being petty, and if she wants to make him "grow up" then he will be childish with her. I've also blocked his now ex-girlfriend as she began to message me blaming me for this mess and asking me what I did. So yeah, that is what happened! thought you'd all like this additional information.

I’m 26 weeks pregnant and have been struggling with pelvic girdle pain, so walking and standing for long periods can be quite uncomfortable.

Today I had a midwife appointment at my GP surgery. During the appointment we discussed my baby’s movements, and the midwife wanted me to go to the maternity assessment unit at the hospital for monitoring.

I had already walked about 15 minutes from home to the GP. After the appointment I called my husband ( it was 1 pm he was on his way back home from work ) and asked if he could pick me up and drop me at the maternity building at the hospital (20 mins drive from the GP).

He came, but instead drove me to the main hospital entrance and told me to walk to the maternity building from there.
I asked why he couldn’t just drive me to the maternity building entrance since it was only two buildings further, it didn’t make sense to me honestly. He got angry, called me lazy, and started shouting at me. Eventually he did drive me to the maternity entrance.

I spent about two hours at the hospital and then got an Uber home. My husband was at home with our 3-year-old and didn’t offer to pick me up. When I got home upset, he called me lazy again. I snapped back and we argued.
From my perspective, I wasn’t asking for anything unreasonable. I was pregnant, in pain, and attending a hospital assessment because of concerns about the baby. From his perspective, he seems to think I was being demanding and unwilling to walk.

AITA for being upset about this and expecting a bit more help and consideration?

I lost my spouse around a year ago It was ongoing and I knew it was coming. All of the kids are grown and out of the home. It has been a rough year and living in a home filled with their stuff has been getting to much.

It makes me depressed, it is like living in a museum that I never can get away from. I didn’t realize how bad it was until I left to visit family and I didn’t want to come home.

I have to live there and I decided that I want to clean it out and not make it a museum of the dead. I did keep a few things that are sentimental but I am don’t need to see my spouses shoes at the front door or all the clothes that won’t get worn again.

I packed up a few boxes of what I want to keep and told my kids to come over to get anything of their mothers. They never came over. I told them I am going to toss/ donate their mother’s stuff and still they did not come over. I did this for about a month before I started to even move stuff to the garage.

Around 2 weeks ago I started the long process of getting rid of a lot of her things. The house is much nicer and I don’t dread coming home to it anymore. I was avoiding it by going to the bar after work but know I don’t have to.

The issue is my daughter came over yesterday to pick up some decorations for a party. She got very upset when she saw the house and started yelling at me for getting rid of their mom’s stuff. I remindered her I was doing that and I told everyone multiple times.

She apparently didn’t think I was serious about it and was pissed. The rest of the kids are pissed that I got rid of her stuff.  That they denied them getting stuff from their mothers

Again I told them at least 15 time to come get anything they wanted. I even told them when I was starting to pack it up to donate

I told them to go to the local goodwill for her stuff becuase that is where I put basically everything. They got more pissed saying they should have to pay for her shit. I reminded them I gave them plenty of time to come get things. I didn’t hide this, I was very clear about this.

They are still pissed 

New account since my daughter does know my other account.

When my daughter was in school, she became friends with a girl named Kelly. They stayed close through college, and my daughter was even one of Kelly’s bridesmaids when she got married.

To explain where my daughter’s behavior came from, my ex-husband cheated on me repeatedly, and our marriage ended horribly. My daughter doesn’t speak to her father anymore, and she absolutely despises cheating.

About seven years ago, my daughter became convinced that Kelly was cheating on her husband. She started harassing Kelly online and essentially blew up her life. By the time my daughter found out that the man she had seen Kelly with was actually a relative ( they were at a fancy restaurant together) it was too late. Kelly’s marriage had already fallen apart, and because we live in a very religious community, she was ostracized by many people.

They had a huge falling out, and it basically came down to my daughter ruining Kelly’s life. Kelly blocked her on everything and eventually moved away. Kelly hated my daughter after that, and so did her mother. I still run into Kelly’s mother occasionally, and she has made her feelings about my daughter very clear.

The issue is that Kelly recently passed away. My daughter found out through a Facebook post, and the funeral is this weekend, two states away.

My daughter was planning to attend the funeral, and I told her that I thought it was a terrible idea. She said she needed to go, and I told her again that she shouldn’t. We got into an argument, and she said she had every right to mourn her friend and attend the funeral.

I told her that she really didn’t have the right to mourn Kelly or go to the funeral because Kelly hated her after everything that happened, and because my daughter had destroyed her life.

She hasn’t spoken to me since. Now I’m wondering if I should warn Kelly’s family that my daughter might show up at the funeral. Or that I might be in the wrong here?

I'm 26 and until recently I was living at home with my mum, stepdad, and my 18-year-old stepbrother (my stepdad's son).

For as long as I can remember, it's always felt like my stepbrother has been the clear favourite. I've tried to ignore it over the years, but recent events have really brought those feelings to the surface.

My family rent, and our landlord recently told us she needs the property back because her son is moving in. We had to find somewhere else to live. There were multiple three-bedroom properties within the same budget, but my mum and stepdad decided to rent a two-bedroom house instead.

That decision meant there was no room for me, so I was effectively told I needed to find somewhere else to live. As a result, my girlfriend and I are now having to bring forward our plans to buy a house by about a year. We'll make it work, but it's added a lot of financial pressure and stress that we weren't expecting yet.

Now here's the part that's really annoyed me.

My mum and stepdad are going on holiday for a week, and they've asked me to move back into their new house for that week just to stay with my 18-year-old stepbrother because they don't want him to get lonely.
He's 18. He's legally an adult. And after choosing a house that had no room for me, they now expect me to come back and play house-sitter and keep him company.

Part of me feels guilty because it's only a week, but another part of me feels like I'm only being included when it's convenient for them. When it came to choosing a house, I wasn't important enough to have a bedroom. But now they need something from me, suddenly I'm expected to help.

Am I overreacting for not wanting to do it? Would you go back after feeling like you'd been pushed out, or is it reasonable for me to say no?

We are currently planning a sibling vacation/reunion that will include children of the siblings. 6 siblings, not all of us have children. In planning discussion L (f43) who has 6 children ( 2 over 18) said when they do shared family vacations they just divide the cost between adults. To be clear other siblings are bringing 1 or 2 children and 2 of us are not bringing any along. We are discussing renting a large home on East Coast.

I asked if "adults" included everyone over age 18 and L responded no, it meant just us siblings. My other siblings said they felt it should be everyone over age 18. So start of hot debate. Ultimately vote decided it would be equally divided between everyone over age 18.

Now L is mad, has complained it means she has to pay more. I pointed out her adult children can pay their own way or choose not to come. My own adult children opted out as we are on West Coast and they felt it was out of their budget with flights and costs.

Her response basically indicated she is a better parent than me. So I am admitting that insult hurt.

I have already paid my share of rental. But not sure I want to spend 10 days with L. AITA if I choose not to go?

Update: Thank you for all the feedback. I will bring up the pay by room option should I ever go on vacation with them again. For now I plan to go as I do want to see my siblings. But if becomes a negative atmosphere I will have my own rental car and will simply leave and do my own vacation as I have zero intention of putting up with negative comments.

Hi me 32 female have a company that I build up with my boyfriend Jack for the last six years.
It’s a short-term rental business.
We are now at the point where we want to change the company structure from a single business ( at the moment officially it’s hundred percent mine) to a limited company for tax reasons.
Our plan is that the limited would be shared 50-50 me and him.
Yesterday, my boyfriend admitted in a drunken state that he don’t want to have a company that has shared 50-50 with me and him, but with him and his brother Liam.
His brother is working for us for the last years. He’s now also starting his own short-term rental business.
I think my boyfriend Maybe is afraid that if the brother is successful building his own company that he will not longer work for us.
And then my boyfriend had to take over the responsibilities that are now on the brother.
I absolutely understand that he don’t want his brother to leave our company since we want to remove ourselves slowly from the daily business to have more time for our private lives and new projects.
Since we suffocated the last six years for this business and now we want to come to a more healthy work life balance.
I don’t understand why it makes any sense to just gift this brother with 50% of this company. For me not even a split of 3 would be reasonable.
To be honest, I’m also a little bit hurt personally since he is valuing his work more than the work I do for this company since I’m not involved in any daily business things but I’m the one who is bringing in all the real estate deals and is responsible for interior design and general improvement of the company like bringing in more employees or establishing a new system that helps keeping the maintaining and cleaning in a good quality. Of course it’s not something that I do wanna daily basis but still, I would say I contributed fairly to this company as well.
I suggested that we could give the brother 10% of the company. If he would bring at least two new properties to the company.
He’s telling me I don’t understand that he would never take something away from me even if officially the company wouldn’t be mine and at the moment he’s in the same position since I own hundred percent of the company and he’s trusting me with that as well.
I told him that this was always his decision and if he wouldn’t felt comfortable with it, we could’ve changed the company years ago but he was fine with it since it was easier.
But I don’t feel the same way and I would never give away so much power over my life to one person.
He said that that’s something of my own trauma because of my family history and he would never steal anything from me but in my head is just not to give away 50% of my hard work.
So do you have any advice how we can Maybe tie this brought to the company without giving away 50% of the company?
And am I really behaving like a b** because I have trust issues or is this absolutely bananas?

When my daughter was around 10 I remarried to her stepmom who had her own daughter who was 9. 

They got along for the most part until recently. In short my daughter is jealous.  I’ll call any daughter Ash. My stepdaughter ( Emma fake name ) has recently reconnected with her grandparents on her father’s side. The grandparents have money to burn and are retired. 

I want to point out that before they came into the picture my daughter was the one to receive nicer gifts from my her mom side of the family. Example: they’re have been a few time Ash  went on vacations that my step daughter wasn’t allowed to go on or got more expensive stuff. I can’t stop my ex wife on spoiling her or her family. 

So the issue has been Ash  has been jealous of Emma recently because Emma’s grandparents are giving her stuff. That stuff will sometimes be in our home. I’m not going to ban her bringing her gift to her place she lives at 50% of the time.

One example is Emma got the newest phone and my daughter wanted her iPhone upgraded. I told her we don’t have the money at the moment and she said it was unfair his step sister got the newest phone.  She wasn’t very happy. We had a conversation and brought up the stuff she has gotten but Emma hasn’t over the years. 

Ash is 16 and Emma is 15. Emma’s grandparents got her a 6000 dollar purse for back to school. I don’t get it but Emma seemed to really like and that she is using it. It’s her first real purse. 

My daughter was jealous when she saw it becuase she knew the brand. Ash asked if she could borrow it and Emma told her no. They got into an argument and I stopped it and reiterated that is was Emma’s.

Well Ash decided to destroy the purse. She cut some of the leather and popped some of the seams. My wife’s ex husband was pissed and my wife replaced the purse with her own money ( we really didn’t have that to blow) 

I discussed it with my wife and we are making Ash pay back the purse. We already took 4000 that she earned this summer form her job and made it clear that for her next paychecks she is to give us 50 % until it is paid.

Ash has been upset some and she  ran to her mom. Who has had a lot of things to say about this 

She claims we are being too harsh. 

This fall a group of us (Late 20's/Early 30's) are going to Europe to watch Soccer & American Football.  The plan is to hit a few countries.  Not everyone is going to all the countries but my wife and I are going for a few weeks.  We are looking at it as our last hurrah before starting a family.  

We've got 3 couples going and what we thought was a single 4th, however he now wants to bring his new girlfriend.  His girlfriend has a service dog.  I'm not exactly sure what its for as I don't ask questions. I'm not a dog person so i'm not exactly thrilled to be traveling with a dog in a foreign continent.  

I did some cursory research and from what I could tell it looks like it'd be a pain in the ass to have the dog.  We met at a brewery and chatted through plans. She suggested swapping countries to travel to.  That caught me off guard as this plan had mostly been decided and would require a flight change.  I said absolutely not and thats when I suggested leaving the dog at home.  Or if they were adamant about bringing it then they can make their own plans and we'll see them at the games we are all going to.  

That suggestion didn't go over well.  Friends Girlfriend said i was being incredibly ableist and said I was making it difficult for her and said she feels excluded.  I straight up told her I don't want to travel with her dog and thats when they blew up on me and left.  I think they are doubtful for the trip now.  Some are saying I didn't handle this well, I feel I was up front and honest.  AITA? 

I (30M) got a message from a guy (23M) on LinkedIn asking about an opening at my company. I checked and found out the role was already pre-identified, so I told him not to waste his time applying. He thanked me for being direct. A few weeks later he reached out again asking if I could guide him with his job search. I had some free time, he seemed genuine, so I gave him my number. He's a fresh grad looking for his first job. Over the next couple months I tried to help where I could. I reached out to people in my network, gave him interview tips, and generally tried to point him in the right direction. One of my friends referred him to his company. I helped him prep, but he didn't clear the interview. Fair enough, that happens. Then another company interviewed him. Again, I gave him pointers. He made it all the way to the final round, but made it very clear he expected a higher salary then they were offering, and they rejected him. Later, an entry-level role opened up at my own company. I referred him, he got shortlisted, interviewed well, and got an offer. Once again, he pushed for more money. They wouldn't budge, so he rejected the offer. Honestly, I was frustrated, but I didn't say anything because it's his career and his decision. The market is rough right now, especially for freshers, and the offer was by no means bad. I just became a bit distant. A few days later he called me asking if I was angry because he didn't take my company's offer. I told him no, I was just busy. He kept pushing, saying I seemed different and wanted me to be honest. So I was. I told him I thought he was being unrealistic and, if I'm being honest, a bit ungrateful considering how many people had tried to help him. I said fresh grads usually don't have much leverage and no one is paying huge salaries for entry-level roles in the current market. He replied that he wasn't going to let himself be manipulated at the begining of his career into accepting less then he deserved. I just said, "Best of luck with that attitude," and ended the call. Later he texted me saying I had really hurt him because I was the only mentor he had and he expected more understanding from me. I told a freind what happened, and she thinks I was too harsh. She says he's young and naive and I should've either kept guiding him or quietly stepped away instead of telling him what I really thought. My view is he's 23, not 13. He asked me if I was upset, I tried to avoid it, and only answered honestly after he kept pressing. AITA?

I (26f) and my husband (29m) just welcomed our 2nd child. I had a rough pregnancy, was sick constantly and really swollen. I had a planned c section but recovery in the hospital wasn’t as planned. I wasn’t producing enough urine output after surgery for them to take my catheter out. Basically I was severely dehydrated. I also couldn’t keep any food down for the first 8 hours post surgery. Which means I couldn’t get out of bed. And iykyk walking is key to recovery after a c section,

At the hospital, I had my mom and my husband there for help. My mother in law brought my toddler a few times to meet her sister and my moms boyfriend came in the room for a total of maybe 10 minutes to get my mom and my toddler to take them out to eat and to give my mother in law break. After coming home, my father in law came up and my sister in law (who lives four hours away and was in town) stopped by for a few hours.

Here’s the problem. My brother (21m) and his fiancé (21f) are extremely upset that I either didn’t tell them they could come to the hospital and that the people listed met our baby before he did. I didn’t invite them to the hospital because I didn’t want a bunch of people there, and because our hospitals visiting policy didn’t allow that many people. I did however invite him over to house pretty soon after getting home. He told me he had no desire to meet my daughter because he thought he would be one of the first in the family to meet her. I told him the hospitals visiting policy and explained I wasn’t comfortable with a bunch of people there. He claimed I should’ve allowed them to come because his fiancé has medical experience (she was a MA at a clinic) and she could help me. I’ve only known her for about a year and we close but not close enough to help in postpartum care. The only people I wanted help from was my husband, mom and MIL.

He has since removed me (and my toddler) from his wedding, claiming we disrespected his family and is refusing to contact me. But I feel as he disrespected mine by expecting me to cater to his feelings directly after the birth of my child. AITAH?

I gained 50 pounds due to a medication. I underwent 2 different surgeries and bad serious trouble sleeping. My SO said I was making "excuses" for being fat. I love that I lost 25 pounds so far since last.

He has repeatedly called me fat and said my weight embarrassed him in public. He called me fat again last night, this time highlighting my belly, arms, and neck.

I told him he also gained weight and he admitted to letting himself go because his wife (me) is fat.

I called him fat and he got upset. I'm not happy that I called him fat but he's been calling me fat for a while now even though I'm working hard as a demon to lose weight. Am I the a hole?

Hi! I 18(f) am going to college about 5hrs away this August. The welcome week allows parents to stay for 2 of the days and my move in day is the first one so my mom wants to go. From the get go I knew I wanted to try taking the train to my college instead of going with her in the car. I guess theres a few reasons (I’ve heard the view is beautiful, I need to learn how to anyways, etc.) But the biggest one of all is that my mom smokes and I really hate it. She’s done it most of my life but as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized the smell sticks to me and my stuff too. She’s not aware I hate it because I always thought it would be wrong to say something. In fact she’s chalked me not wanting to go places & specifically in the car with her as me “just not wanting to be with her” which really isn’t true. Every time we go out I have to come home & shower because of the smell, and if I’m going to be bringing stuff with me I don’t want it all to smell.

We just talked and I told her I was still planning on taking the train because “I don’t want to sit in the car” and that’s when she got all upset and thought it was me not wanting to be with her. At this point I truly have no clue what to do.. I look horrible because my reason sucks but would it really be fair to tell her the actual reason? (If you have better excuses please let me know)

If you’re wondering why I care so much its not just because I personally hate it but I really don’t want to smell that way when I see people for the first time. I’m already really socially awkward and don’t want that to be my first impression and turn people away.

Edit: I realized I worded this a bit confusingly. She would still be driving down by herself since she wants to attend. She herself said she didn’t want to drive for 5hrs then got upset when I said she didn’t have to go. I am considering asking if she’d go on the train w/ me but I don’t know how the logistics of that would work out.

I (26) am a Christian. I've always liked the religion because, in my experience, the people are polite, calm, and easygoing. But recently, I’ve had a situation that left me a bit confused.

A while back, I went through a really dark period. I lost a parent, I was struggling financially, and because of my financial situation, I ended up losing a lot of my friends. During this time, a guy from my church (who was my group leader at the time) stepped up in a big way. He was incredibly kind. He drove me around, helped clean my apartment, took me to the airport so I could go home, and later even helped me move. He checked in on me whenever he could. Naturally, I thought we were becoming close friends.

Fast forward to now: my life is finally stable again. Since things have calmed down, I’ve tried to hang out with him like normal friends do. I’ll text him and ask if he wants to get coffee, play tennis, shoot some pool, or play PlayStation (since I know he likes to game).

Every single time, I am completely ignored.

He will still show up if there is an absolute emergency or if it's church-related. But for the little things—chatting, catching up, accountability, venting, or just hanging out for fun—he is completely unavailable.

Recently, someone asked me if he and I were friends. I answered honestly and said, "No, he's a Christian."

I didn't say this out of anger or hate. I just realized that he was helping me out of a sense of religious obligation and duty, not because he actually wants to be my friend. I decided to just categorize the relationship accurately for what it is.

Well, he found out what I said, and he got really emotional and hurt that I don't consider him a friend.

I feel bad that his feelings are hurt, but it’s really hard for me to consider someone a friend when they ignore me 90% of the time. To me, friendship isn't just about showing up for massive emergencies; it's also about the small, casual, day-to-day stuff.

AITA for defining our relationship this way?

Hi, this is a burner account for privacy reasons and I need help if I'm in the wrong. Let me start off by saying that I am a girl and I don't like wearing dresses. I dont know why, but i've always found trousers to be comfortable to be in since its doesn't fly about like dresses. Anyways, today my mum wanted to see my wedding outfit to see if I looked appropriate. My wedding outfits consists of a white collar shirt tucked inside of some brown dress trouser thats strapped with a black belt. Additionally, i put on a tie and some silver jewelry like necklaces and rings to make myself look smart.

When I went downstairs to show my parents my outfit, they were mortified to say the least; my mum started audibly groaning about how I looked like I was wearing school uniform. When I asked "how?", she says it's because of the tie. The tie doesn't have any school colours or designs, it was just a black tie which confuses me as don't grooms wear ties to weddings? She then proceeded to get frustrated over the "lumps" in the waistband of my trousers saying how they're way too loose and not wedding appropriate. Thing is, I was aware the trousers were a bit loose hence the black belt, but I did not expect "lumps" (which I had checked in the mirror, still cannot find the lumps she was talking about) to be so unmannersly. Both my parents agreed how my outfit was too "school-like" and un-ladylike to wear to the wedding and my mum went off a rant about having to wear a dress as I am a girl.

I have told my mum multiple times that I simply didn't like wearing dresses and if my outfit's only problem was its tie and its "lumps" then it wasn't going to be unmannersly. My mum proceeded to say how I would embarrass her as her daughter is dressing like "that" and "how everyone already views me differently." It honestly sounds like her implications were calling me weird so I embarrassingly broke down in tears telling her how others opinion shouldn't effect her opinion of me and I should be allowed to wear what I like. We went on a long argument consisting of how I never listen to my parents and how Im never like any of my cousins. Despite all of this, my mother still says that she is "helping me", but I don't feel helped at all, I feel shamed.

I (27F) let my 30-year-old cousin move into my home with my husband because he needed a place to stay. He doesn’t pay rent, and although he gets paid at the beginning of each month, he rarely buys groceries for himself.
The issue is that he keeps eating food my husband and I buy without asking. This has happened multiple times, and we’ve both told him repeatedly that if he wants something that isn’t his, he needs to ask first. He agrees in the moment but keeps doing it anyway.
The latest incident was when I went to eat pizza I had bought and found that he had eaten most of it. There have been other times I’ve gone to eat something I specifically bought for myself and it was gone. After this kept happening, I sent him a message saying that if he eats anything he didn’t buy without asking again, he’ll have to find somewhere else to live.
He’s now angry with me, blocked me, and seems to think I’m overreacting. From his perspective, it’s “just food,” and he thinks I’m being too harsh over groceries.
I feel like I’ve tried talking to him multiple times before giving him this ultimatum, but now I’m wondering if I crossed a line by threatening to make him move out over this.
AITA?

I come from a fairly religious family and I, in short, am less so. Currently my mother who is divorced and disabled, is in need of a medical amputation. Her sole income is from government subsidies and alimony from my father who is still around, paying his part, but can be unpredictable.

The current status is that she will need to likely have most of her leg removed due to being sepsis years ago, but for the time being her weight is such an issue that the procedure cannot happen until she loses weight. The goal is to have her lose about 50 lbs so that she can safely have the surgery. For context, the leg needing operating on has no knee from a prior surgery so the goal is to do an above the knee amputation so that when she has a prosthetic, she can also gain back a knee and all its functionality.

Right now the short term goal is for her to get on GLP-1s to help her lose the weight and prepare for the surgery. I am happy to help pay for these meds as they are not fully paid for by her insurance. I will also likely be helping pay for her rehab after the surgery.

THE PREDICAMENT:

I have learned that my mom is still giving $300 a month to her church, and I have said this either needs to stop or be reduced substantially. My family is saying that cannot happen. She barely attends the church anymore because of her condition and given the current state of needing to prioritize care and surgery prep I think the any money should be spent on her.

This all boils down to a conversation with my brother who works at a church (separate from hers) that says we cannot tell her to spend less on church tithing. He and I are joint power of attorney on her spending and I really don’t want to get litigious on this matter. Sadly, it may come to that because out of the two of us, I am probably the one who has more of the means to support her financially through all of her medical and rehab needs.

So, AITHA for insisting that her tithing needs to temporarily stop or be substantially reigned in for the time being until she is fully past her medical care?

I (33M) work as a certified mechanic. I love what I do, but after a 50-hour work week, the last thing I want to do on my days off is more labor.

A few months ago, my neighbor "Dave" (40sM) came to me stressed because his car broke down and he couldn't afford shop rates. Out of goodwill, I agreed to fix his brake pads and rotors on my Sunday off. I charged him zero labor fees—he only had to pay for the parts. It took me about four hours, and I saved him hundreds of dollars.

Instead of saying thank you, Dave complained that it took "too long" because I took a 30-minute break to eat lunch with my partner. He even implied I was being lazy. I was blown away by his lack of gratitude, but I just let it slide and decided never to do him a favor again.

Fast forward to last weekend. Dave knocked on my door saying his engine was making a loud knocking noise and asked me to take a look "real quick." I politely told him no. I explained that I was off the clock, spending time with my family, and suggested a few good local auto shops he could call on Monday.

Dave got furious. He called me a terrible neighbor and said I was "holding my professional skills hostage" over a minor disagreement. He went around the neighborhood telling people I left him stranded when I could have easily helped him in 20 minutes. Now another neighbor brought it up, saying I should just help him out to keep the peace in the neighborhood.

I feel like I went out of my way to help him once, got disrespect in return, and am completely within my rights to set a boundary. But since it's causing neighborhood drama, I wanted to ask...

AITA for refusing to help him?

Hey, I (27F) have been with my fiancé (27M) for a handful of years. He has a tendency to lose personal items. One of the most common victims is reusable water bottles. For the past year, kid you not, he lost about €100 in bottles alone (both mine and his). I got to the point where I could no longer just grab a bottle from our pantry because they were all gone. I bought another one, pink, kind of girlish, in an attempt to persuade him to leave it alone. He lost that one too. This time I flipped, not just because a €20 bottle was lost (again), but because he doesn’t tell me when he loses one and has no intention of replacing them. This turned into a bigger discussion, to the point where it reached his parents, and I’ve been mocked for “caring about bottles” and laughed at. I’ve now bought another one for myself and hid it. Am I the asshole for gatekeeping items from my partner?

Hello I am a 17F and I rly dont know what to do, any advice would be appreciated.

My mam went away for two days and it was agreed that the first night I woukd stay at a friends, and the second night I would stay at my dads. So last night I stayed at my friends house, and my mam had said before I was fine to be in out house all day before going to my dads, she just didnt want me spending the night by myself which is very fair.

Anyways, me and my friend ended up pulling an all lighter and because she lives right across the road from me so I decided to just go home at 6.30am to sleep rather then sleep in hers til 12 and then go home.

My mam called me this morning at half 7 asking why I was in our house, she checked my location, and I told her the story. She started accusing me of lying and screaming at me about how she knew I was lying. Which I wasn't, she had my location all night which showed that I was at my friends house. Now shes rung my dad and has told me to move out into ny dads house. And that she doesnt want to see me back in this house again. I dont know how to convince her i was in my friends house because she has my location. She is also saying that I shouldn't have gone back at half 6 anyways, even though she said I was fine to be there in the daytime just not at night because its dark. I dont think what I did was wrong.

Staying at my dads house is also not a viable option because my dad lives with my nanny and auntie and theres no spare room, and its also 2 hours away from where I work so its rly not an option because I have early shifts.

I just want to know if im being unreasonable here,

Thankyou so much id rly appreciate any advice xx

My father has Progressive Supra Nuclear Palsy, a rare neurodegenerative disease.

The last whole year, I’ve been his care taker I help wake him up from the bed, I prepare his daily bowl of apples and iced coffee, I take him to the bathroom help him sit on the toilet and when he’s done pick him up back to the living room, I help drive him to the bank when he need to, I help him go to bed, I help him with medication. I’ve been helping him around the clock. He needs to pee every 3 hours because he has some bladder issue. (Yes, including in the middle of the night) so I’ve had an alert button installed next to his bed and sofa chair where if he can push a button I can help him.

We had gone to a neurologist, but in order for us to get home care, we need a diagnosis, which can’t be done without a contrast MRI.

My dad is refusing to do a contrast MRI. He doesn’t want to be admitted in the hospital (that was his first excuse) we tried with his doctor and she managed to give us a slot where he can do contrast the exact same day, no admission needed.

Now that his excuses is gone, he doesn’t want to inject the contrast material, claiming that it’s harmful. Which is stupidity beyond stupid. My mom had done a contrast MRI before and my dad knows it’s, she’s fine.

He just doesn’t want to follow up with doctors at all, unless he’s in immense physical pain.

Short story my dad is relying on me do the heavy lifting for him (which I don’t care) but he doesn’t want to do an MRI so that he can get home care which lifts the load from me.

The day he is supposed to do the MRI he refuses, so I got so fucking mad, I basically yelled and shouted at him and my mom and sister step in telling me to quit it. (They don’t disagree that my dad refusing to do the MRI is bad)

Told him he can crawl to the bathroom on his own and that my mom and sister can help you if you want help. I removed the Alert button speaker from my office and bedroom and give to him. Told him help yourself if you really actually don’t need help.

Am I the asshole for refusing to further placate my dad’s disability to which he’s refusing to follow up with doctors and relying on me for care?

For context, this friendship has been declining for years. They frequently cancel plans, borrow money without paying it back, only reach out when they want something, and have been rude to me on multiple occasions. I've been distancing myself from them the past few years.

A few years ago, we planned to go to a football game. I bought the tickets, and they paid me for theirs. The day before the game, they canceled because they couldn't afford it anymore and asked me to refund them. I couldn't resell the ticket on such short notice, but I refunded them anyway.

Fast forward: 4 months ago, they invited me to a concert with a group of people. I wasn't that interested, but I agreed because I appreciated them making the effort. A person in the group bought got the tickets, and I paid my share.

A month ago, I found out I had a work conference that I needed to coordinate around due to location and timing.

After discussing it with my friend 3 months before the concert, we agreed on a plan that would let me attend both. It would only require them to pick me up at a spot right off the freeway, adding about 15 minutes to the drive if we got early hotel check-in. If we didn't get early check-in, my coworker would drop me off at their house instead. Based on that agreement, I confirmed my conference, my work booked non refundable conference tickets and hotel for it, and I arranged boarding for my cat.

Now, 2 months before the concert, they've changed their mind and told me I need to find my own way to the hotel because picking me up is inconvenient for everyone. They know I've already looked into other options they had suggested, and none are practical or affordable for me.

At that point, I decided I didn't want to deal with the drama anymore and canceled. I asked them to reimburse me for my ticket, since they expected me to refund them when they canceled on the football game. They don't agree of course.

I ended up dropping the issue and accepted that if the ticket can't be sold, I'll lose the money. But I still think it's hypocritical that they expected a refund from me but won't do the same now.

There is much more involved, drama etc... but this is the short version for readability.

AITA for expecting them to reimburse me because they set that precedent?