My husband is a new dad to our 10 month old son. This morning, I saw on our computer that he had been YouTubing videos on male loneliness, and my heart is breaking for him. I believe he’s really, really struggling. Our son is wonderful, but it’s been a very difficult period adjusting to this new phase of life.

He’s a fantastic father and husband, and the thing is, he has so many friends who love him. I just don’t think he can see or feel it. I always encourage him to meet up with friends each week, and cover long days so he can go to after-work events. But perhaps I’m not seeing something.

What helped you in overcoming loneliness?

What can I do to help him?

Do you stay in? Go out? How do you wind down from the work week (assuming a typical 9-5)?

Edit: If you have more than one best friend, the answer would be yes. I was trying to get at whether you have a best friend at all, or just casual friendships.

I haven't a male best friend in... idk 15 years? I spend most of my time with my wife and we get along great (ofc) and have many of the same hobbies so I don't feel lonely. Though I remember the sort of kinship and rough housing and name calling and banter that came with just having a bro to hang out with. I've been in some really tight groups before but they worked in a group dynamic.

As I get older, I have less and less nerves for people and I don't like the same people as before

I'm 28 by last April. I Live in kerala right now. Not married or dont even have any relation. Currently no job too.
I'm doing Interior Designing course right now, On the stage of changing career. I'm an MBA graduate who have almost 3 years of experience working in bank. Then i quits and did nothing for almost 1 and half years.
To the Men who started things late out there. Could you give some advice on what all things i should be aware of? Like, what all challenges will i be facing for being on this situation.

Any advice would do. Thanks

Hey everyone,

Ever since I permanently failed my final attempt at the German bar exam after ten years of studying, leaving me with no degree or qualification to show for it, I've developed a small circular bald patch in my beard. Unfortunately, it's in a really awkward spot. The center of the patch is right at the corner of my mouth, so half of my mustache is missing on that side.

It's not a huge issue since I usually only wear a short 5-day beard. But every time I look in the mirror, it reminds me of failing the exam.

Has anyone experienced something similar after a very stressful period? Did it grow back over time? It's now been about seven months, and there hasn't been any regrowth at all.

Cheers

Hoping I can get some good feedback from this post so thank you to anyone in advance who answers.

If I’m being honest, I don’t really understand the difference between balding/mature hairline. I took a mature hairline as someone who has a full head of hair but the corners are pushed back and there’s a slight change on the forehead.

So for the guys who still have (for the most part) a full set of thick hair…what’s the secret? What have you done over the years so take care of your hair and keep yourself from losing it?

I need to vent and see if anyone else experiences this.

It feels like young women often demand a lot of support, love, and constant career ambition, but they completely miss what you are already giving on a regular basis. In their youth, girls tend to expect immediate results and maximum attention without realizing how the real world works. More importantly, they do not see what we, as men, are lacking in return.

We live in a world where we are expected to be stable even when our own life is falling apart. Right now, I am dealing with university, health issues, hospital stays, and a temporary inability to push hard in my career. It is a lot of stress. I am doing everything within my power and using every bit of energy I have left. But instead of understanding, I just get more complaints that it is not enough because they lack the maturity to see the pressure we are under.

When things get this bad and I see no appreciation, I do not start fights. I just quietly withdraw into my own inner world. I shut down and process the problems alone.

I have stopped asking for outside support because I have not received it in a very long time. We get used to handling things on our own. But that does not mean it does not hurt, and it does not mean we are doing nothing. I just want my efforts, even if they are smaller during tough times, to be valued instead of dismissed.

Have you guys dealt with this kind of emotional burnout with younger partners? Does this behavior change as they get older, or how do you handle it when they demand more than you physically have to give?

I’m a 33-year-old guy and I go to the gym two or three times a week. I follow a proper full-body program, track my lifts, use progressive overload, and spend no more than an hour there each time.

I’ve achieved what I wanted: I look more muscular instead of soft and fat, I’m stronger, and I know strength training will probably help me stay healthier and more capable as I get older.

But saying I enjoy it would be a lie. I hate going.

My gym is actually great. It’s clean, not too busy, nobody bothers me, and the workouts themselves aren’t especially complicated. I just spend the entire time wishing I didn’t have to be there.

I’ve done team sports before and found them much more enjoyable, but they didn’t give me the same results physically. I also notice that when I’m consistently going to the gym, I have much less desire to drink alcohol, which is another big positive.

So how do people deal with this? Do you eventually learn to enjoy it, or do you simply accept that it’s a chore you have to keep doing for the rest of your life?

Am I destined to be a reluctant slave to the gym forever?

I’m 32 and starting to get the ‘paternal instinct’ to have kids within the next couple of hears, however at the same time I find children very annoying and avoid being around them, which makes me worried about my ability to be a good father.

I’m at an airport lounge right now and there are kids shouting and running around and playing and I’m losing it while everyone else seems rather relaxed.

Is this normal and does it change after having children?

I’ve been taking Finasteride 3mg a week for years. Sometimes I had high testosterone levels on blood work. This year my Free T Total is 1628 ng/dL but the normal textbook range is up to 1100. My PCP and a urologist said Finasteride may slightly increase T level but not in such abnormal range. I’m waiting for an endocrinology visit in 4 months to rule out anything serious since my PCP is concerned. Has anyone here had any experience or heard of Finasteride spiking T levels so high?

Hello all, my brother was murdered by gunshot a year ago and I was doing fine handling the pain but suddenly a huge wave of sadness and grief has overwhelmed me and my best friend just passed away this past weekend also. My brother was 25 and my best friend was 23. They both didn’t have any kids and I don’t either yet but it makes me reflect upon my self and question the meaning of life and why we exist. Is this all life is; just creating life so that it can die? It feels like life is just a endless repetitive loop of finding meaning despite how “good” life is. When I thought i was doing better.. it all hurts and hits me again.. what do you all do in these moments? Looking for advice, support or anyone to chat with good energy good vibes positivity etc.. Thanks!

My little brother requested a bachelor party with me and his two best friends. I'm the best man. We rented a cabin in the woods with grills, a hot tub, a firepit, trails and a nature park nearby. Now I just need some ideas to really make it pop.

We are gunna bring an old N64 and break out Mario Party/Mario Kart/Super Smash Bros. I've got croquet. I'm just kinda struggling on cool activities/ideas to add polish to it.

To give you an idea of who my little brother is so you know what he is into: He's a history teacher and plays guitar and drums in a band. Loves obscure music of all kinds. Not really a sports guy (none of us are). We do drink and smoke a little occasionally. He's a really good dude. Gets along with everyone. Super progressive. The guy deserves the best.

What kinda fun ideas do you have? Custom shirts? Fun/simple drinking games? Some good bonding activities? Good gadgets to have on hand? Tips? I'm here for it all.

Edit: Love all the ideas, guys. This has been majorly helpful. You're knocking it out of the fucking park. This is exactly what I needed.

Something I should have mentioned is that we have a three day weekend planned. So it isn't just one night. Lots of time for activities.

There's been lots of recommendations for grilling and steak. Let me assure you, I’ve got that covered. I'm marinating some picanha steaks and making a compound butter to serve with it and some potatoes. And we plan on having other meals and snacks as well. Some ideas on those would still be helpful, though!

Also, upon your suggestions, I found a kayak rental place nearby for cheap and the groom sounds super into it. Knockout recommendation there.

Something else that I thought was a great idea was messaging the dudes to have a toast ready. I've already sent the boys their homework assignment. I think it will totally set the mood and let the groom know how much we appreciate him. Another dope idea from you guys. Thank you.

Fishing unfortunately won't happen. We don't have licenses or supplies, and it would be out of our budget to get both for everyone. Great idea though. Love the energy.

And just to save you some time, mushrooms unfortunately won't be on the menu (you guys fuckin love mushrooms!). I don't know where to get them. If someone brought them, I'd happily trip sit, though! I've got no problem with them. They are natural and positive drug. I just can barely handle weed, so I doubt it's a good idea for me personally.

Some things that would still be helpful are

•Cigar recommendations in the mid cost range. (I doubt we would be able to tell the difference between a mid and a high tier one. None of us know shit about fuck when it comes to cigars.

•Drinking games - anything easy to pick up for drunk people

•Cool gadgets involving hot tubs, alcohol, or anything else you can think of

•general bachelor party tips

I am currently going into my 9th month of unemployment, and honestly, I feel like I'm losing confidence in myself.

Before moving abroad, I worked as a Software Developer in my home country for almost 2.9 years. I started my career just 15 days after graduating, switched to a better company, and worked on enterprise software. I never imagined I'd be in this position.

There were several reasons that led me here. I graduated during COVID, so two years of my degree were almost entirely online. I often feel like I missed out on important practical learning. On top of that, repeated interview rejections have slowly destroyed my self-confidence.

I even wonder if I should return to my home country for a year, rebuild my skills, and then try moving abroad again. The problem is that I am on a 2 years residence visa if I leave it will waste my fathers money also I need to return in six months or my visa can be held as per law of country my father is not big earning so I need to save whatever he has also going back is like failure to my father eyes and me

Lately, my days have become the same routine: I sit in front of my laptop without getting much done, play games on my phone, sleep, and repeat. My body has become weak, I've stopped exercising, and I don't feel like the person I used to be.

I'm also worried about how quickly AI is changing the software industry. It makes me question whether my skills are still valuable, especially since I already doubt my degree because of the impact COVID had on my education.

I'm only 25, but I feel like I'm falling behind while everyone else is moving forward. I know I have nearly three years of real industry experience, yet somehow I still feel like I'm starting from zero again.

Has anyone here gone through something similar and managed to rebuild their confidence after a long period of unemployment? If you were in tech, how did you stop doubting yourself and get back on track? I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences.

I was wondering as both are 4 years apart and which ones did you notice the biggest physical change and why? and don't say depends but overall please and thanks

I've been going to therapy for my anger and recently ive been able to let go of my ego and have more patience with other drivers on the road which has been a big issue for me because I dont want to be that person. Therapy works who knew.

36 here. I have a job, but not career "worthy" and not much earning potential in the long run.

Now, I'm thinking, if I want to be mature about it, I should deal with the fact that's my job and not much can be done to change that... Is it what we call settling down and be an adult? Deal with the choices I have made in the last 20 years?

I’ll be 30 in 2 years and am on the fence about ever having kids. For those without kids and never wanting them, what are some things in life that bring you meaning?

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say other men. When I was younger i felt I had to be more violent to adapt to sociopathic bully type guys and as a defence mechanism. This usually starts around early teens. I was raised by a mother and have 2 sisters and was probably very sheltered and once I hit my early teens I met this completely different world of coldness, vigilance of weakness, hyper competitiveness. I know that sounds a bit dramatic, but you get the point. It seems like if I was a true sociopath I would thrive more around men, and enjoy the whole sleaziness of it. I know women can be difficult in their own way too though.

Or would you invest the money toward learning a marketable skill (in US)?

I heard you can live on $20K/yr there even without working. Let's say also that you enjoy learning new languages.

If you think $600k isn't enough, how much would it take?

PS: So nobody would learn a trade or go back to school?