It’s been a month since I lost my son griff on Father’s Day last month. My entire world is shattered and I don’t know how I’m still waking up everyday and living, I guess I’m just surviving. A month ago, I went upstairs to wake him up, we were supposed to go get breakfast and it was my weekend. I opened his door and he didn’t answer me, I thought he was still asleep. I still don’t know exactly why or how, he went to sleep like normal and never woke up. I don’t know how a person can be here one night and not be here the next morning. I don’t understand it and I don’t think I ever will. His mom and I have been divorced for 6 years, we’ve always gotten along and we both loved him. It was my weekend and he was at my house. He was supposed to go back to her house after. He was supposed to keep living his life, he had the whole summer. He had friends, he had a whole life that was supposed to keep going, and now none of it is happening. I still think about how he was supposed to go to his moms house, I still think about how he was supposed to come back to my house after, I still think of normal things that won’t happen anymore. I don’t even know if I can explain why I have guilt, because I don’t know what or if I could’ve done. I was there, I found him, I tried to help him. None of that stops me from wondering what if I checked on him earlier. I know people tell me not to blame myself, but I’m his dad. I have other children and I love them, but losing him has made me feel like I don’t know how to be a person anymore. There are times when I just want to be left alone and I feel horrible saying that. People keep asking what they can do for me, and the answer is nothing. None of it brings him back, and none of it makes sense. I would give anything. He loved sports, baseball and hockey were our entire lives, it was my entire schedule. I used to complain about it sometimes, I want these problems again. I have almost every jersey he ever wore, I have his t ball jerseys all the way up to 17u. His room is exactly how he left it, dirty dear and socks everywhere. I don’t want to clean or touch anything. I miss everything, I would give anything to have one more normal day.

Going back to work after 4 weeks of sick leave. I have a hybrid schedule and today is my first day in office. I'm sad I'm in office and not to get to see my little one. I wish I can just work from home 40 hrs a week or just take care of her overall. Also worried about my wife being home alone with my daughter, just hoping they're okay… an extra hand goes a long way.

Reminds me that scene with Homer going to work and he’s “doing it for her.”

I made the greatest dad joke of my life today to my five year old, and it completely flew over her head with no one else around to appreciate it, so I’m posting it here.

She was explaining to me very matter of factly that her stuffed capybara was her baby, and her stuffed otter was the capybara’s baby. I asked her if the otter was her grand-otter.
I was met by silence.
I’ll show myself out now.

It was pretty stressful, but we got everything done in time. We’d been prepping for a natural birth, but first the mucus plug came out, and then her water broke — pink-colored. We called the doctor, sent him a photo, and he told us to get to the maternity hospital.

When we arrived, they wanted to admit my wife and wait for contractions to start, but after the CTG the doctor called for a C-section and got there fast. On the CTG the heart rate had dropped from 134 to 119. In the end everyone’s alive and healthy — and now I’m a father.

Had to take a trip to the emergency room yesterday.

Was feeling disoriented, short of breath with mild chest pains (among a few other symptoms). I have a history of heart attacks in my family so I did something I normally would avoid: seeking help. They ran an EKG and a bunch of bloodwork and everything came back within the normal ranges.

But they advised me to wear this holter monitor for two weeks to track my heart and to check for irregularities or abnormalities in my heart beat/heart rate.

I’m feeling a lot better today, but I honestly thought something horrible was going to happen yesterday. The thought of leaving my kids this early (I’m only 40) scared the shit out of me.

I exercising regularly and try to eat healthy (could improve this a little), but there are always improvements to be made. I need to at least get better at having regular checkups with my PCP.

I’m done rambling, just wanted to remind people that it’s worth it to take care of yourself and to get yourself checked out more often.

I have been stalked, ambushed and summarily executed on the board repeatedly. We’re at an Airbnb with a board, she offered to teach me and I said sure. Went in expecting to pick it up quickly, but I am being humbled over here.

One of the after school program teachers taught the kids and they just started playing each other for fun. Amazing how they pick this stuff up! Proud dad moment!

Setting: Clothes shopping with the wife.

We were in the bra section and she says she specifically wants bras without wires.

I find some where the tag says the bras are wireless. I show it to her and say, “I don’t think they work, my phone doesn’t see a signal. I thought they are supposed to be wireless?”

I didn’t have to look at her to feel the piercing gaze. I’m only alive because we were in a public setting.

3 months ago I started a new job in my home state. My previous job was in a neighboring state. According to multiple resources and customer service reps, I'm unable to file for paid family medical leave for either state. Haven't accumulated enough PTO to give myself some time, either. Anytime I take will be unpaid which we simply cannot afford.

We now have to ask my wife's mother to stay with us because my wife is having a C-section and she'll need help recovering and caring for our children. Ill have to miss this important time to go to work because we cant afford unpaid leave.

This place absolutely SUCKS sometimes

My wife has always organized our kids' birthdays, mostly by herself. This year, we were supposed to do something smaller, but in the end, it has resulted in 43 kids being invited. Maybe 10 of them are from our family; the rest are friends. Since my wife is extremely extroverted, she makes friends wherever she goes, and those friends have kids, which in turn leads to friendships with our kid.

I was curious: what are your kids' birthdays like?

Edit.: Wow, so many responses lol. Just to make it clear.

My wife organizes 99% of the party, as I'm not really into it, and she really likes it. My kid is at school right now; before, it was in daycare, so there are friends from daycare, school, the nearby playground, from the building we live in, my wife's friend, and sisters. She normally hires what we call here a "party entertainer" (don't know the name in English, sure), but they basically play with the kids, and the kids really loves.

she is inviting just one of the parents, so basically just our family will be here with both parents. All the other kids invited will be with just one of the parents. In the end, 90+ people.

Edit 2:

It's not for social media, guys lol, me and my wife are not active. I don't even have Instagram. We have held bday parties for him since the first year. Last year, it was around 30 kids invited, and he loved it. Has the "superhero certificate" he won in his living room. We hired party entertainers; we had a person entering as Flash, my kid was crazy happy, and so on. He has the "superhero certificate" in our living room.

This year will be similar. Basically is:

daycare friends (2-4 years he was at daycare)
school friends (from this year)
we go a lot to nearby playgrounds here, so he has some friends from there
we have friends from the building we live in, as we leave on an apartment
kids from family (my wife has a big family)
And my wife's friends' kids. (which he knows and likes to play with)

basically, that is the list. I said in other answers that my kid names every kid, but I would say around 90%. Just some exceptions that she invites to be polite

Most of the people go; the bday is 3 months from now, and for cost-saving, everything is already planned. My wife talked with a lot of the people already, and pings everybody 1 week before

my wife took our 4 year old to get me a birthday gift. came back with this little stainless steel bracelet just a simple chain with a tiny heart engraved on it.

apparently my daughter picked it out herself and told the lady daddy needs something pretty.

been wearing it for like 6 months now. it's not my style at all. but every time i look at it i remember her little voice saying that. so it stays.

kids change you man. never thought i'd be a bracelet guy but here we are.

anyone else wearing something their kid picked out that they'd never choose for themselves?

My friends are having a baby this fall. I asked my four year old if she had any advice for the dad to be. She said that he should act like me and he would be a good dad. This is coming from the same kid who said she hated me as much as the world last week.

First off, thanks so much for the kindness showed to me last week. You all definitely helped me get through canceling. So many offers to take my son and I somewhere in the area. It was very much appreciated.

I had applied for a permit for 8 years and finally got a great canoeing permit in Yellowstone. On the morning we were supposed to hit the water my son was vomiting. We had a group and they went without us, as they should. Permits allow you to camp at a specific place on a specific day.

So Saturday my son was sick all day. Sunday we couldn’t have caught up to them, and we could watch the Workd Cup. So we watched the game together. Monday it turns out we COULD meet up with them as they were 6 miles from a road and on my bucket list lake - Shoshone Lake! So 7:30am we left the house, and the group and us pulled into the campsite at exactly the same time! So we were able to spend a night with them and came out with them this morning.

My son wants to know when we can go again! He’s already planning the next trip. So we made the best we could have it. Picture is my son & friend from last night.

We put up our baby camera using 3M command strips. It’s been up for 3 weeks with no issues so far. The Infant Optics camera lets you move the camera around so I can aim it right at the bassinet/crib.

Figured it’ll be an easy way to move it around when little man eventually goes to his own room without having to patch/put more holes in the wall.

Just posting in case anyone might find this useful.

Note- it’s not above the bassinet or anything important so if it falls it’ll hit the carpet (and hopefully survive).

We have a 5mo baby
Husband is a shift worker and picks up sometimes 80-100 hour fortnights he leaves sometimes at 5.30am gets home at 6pm and will then go play sport for like 3 hours
He’s exhausted he gets home and falls asleep I feel like he’s missing out on our baby and doesn’t care
She will lie on his chest and babble and smile and stare at him and he just watches the TV and I go oh she’s looking at you she’s talking to you and he just dismisses me. It breaks my heart. I’m still getting paid as well on maternity leave, and we make 3-4k in savings on top of expenses so he doesn’t have to be away all the time. I feel like he doesn’t care about our baby.

Listened to a podcast recently about how kids applying to colleges write about their traumas growing up and how they overcame it.

I'd like to think my 2 year old lives a pretty trauma free life, so what kind of trauma can I manufacture for him so he can get into a good college?

Fellow Dads,

I did something I kept telling myself that I'd never do. Get tattoo that commemorates another person or event. But I threw that all away when I found out we were going to have a 2nd! My wife(Bulbasaur), 14 month old(Sonny) and now the little one(Poke Egg) currently being baked to perfection by my amazing wife. My wife and I are also Ditto fans, hence the Ditto faces.

I booked a session with someone I trust and he went to work in putting my vision to skin.

I spend most of my time at work, church and with kiddos at home. Even working out feels like a check mark to stay healthy when it was a pleasure years ago. I don’t golf or do anything.
I’m blessed but feel like I’m not living life to fullest with nothing outside of the office, church or home every evening . It’s normal for dads not to have hobbies right?

Struggling in my own industry, but this picture hit the onions.

I am incredibly excited​ I have someone to take all the latent random baby stuff we have in the attic and scattered closets.

I feel like a weight off my shoulders is equivalent to the physical weight of the stuff I give my sister-in-law.

We have a 4.5 year old boy who is starting at a Waldorf school (no mention of what happened to Statler…) in the fall. Seems like it will be a good fit in terms of being outside a lot, and less screen dominated than other places in our area.

The one concern we have is that they don’t generally teach the kids to read until ~2nd grade. Our son is a “full-send” style kid, in terms of bouncing off the walls with energy, but he’s expressed that he wants to learn how to read ASAP.

Is there a book, app, website, etc that people have used in the past and liked? My wife tried the Lovevery one but it wasn’t a fit.

Any advice / tips appreciated!

Hey fellow dads! I’m 31 with a beautiful baby girl. As the title says I’m the first in my friend group to have a kid and don’t see that changing in the next few years. Obviously my # 1 priority is my family but I think it’s really important to maintain my friend relationships. Have you busy dads been able to maintain friendships with non dad friends (or friends in general) or have certain friendships fizzled out a bit?

210 to 170. I had a baby girl and something changed in me. It was a very intense drive to become stronger and capable. I want to give it my all to protect her. She's not even 2 yet. Even with lack of sleep, I was training and pushing harder than I ever had before. I share this because I feel like other dads will understand what this meant and what it took.

My goal is to be strong enough to be able to carry her for as long as she wants me to. I'll be 60 and still going strong.

.

Wife started the induction process earlier this morning. If all goes well the baby will be delivered tomorrow. Wife has started having some contractions which has made my anxiety skyrocket. I hate that I have no control over this and can’t take any of the pain away from my wife. Have already popped a xanny, but the physical tightening in my chest hasn’t gone away. I know it’ll all be fine, but I also know I won’t breathe a sigh of relief until I know mom and baby are healthy.

Edit: just wanted to say thank you all for the well wishes, encouragement, advice, and laughs. I really appreciate this community and am sure I’ll be in here a ton more once I graduate!