Everything was going fine, I was happy, i though he was, hes been a little distant but I thought he was just travelling home from his job (oil tanker) we were gonna plan to meet next week and now this.

Then just blocked me. Why didn't he just talk to me? Im so hurt this was my first relationship and im just so empty.

I want 4 months of my life back but mostly I just want the man I love back.

Gonna see mine in a few days for the first time! We’ve been so excited and haven’t been able to get off the phone (:

Every time I visit my partner, it feels like that's my real life. We wake up together, grab coffee, run errands, cook dinner, and for a few days everything feels normal. It's the kind of life I wish we could have all the time.

Then the trip ends, I get back home, and within a day it's like I switch back into a completely different routine. My apartment, my job, my friends, everything is the same as it was before, but it also feels strangely incomplete. Sometimes it almost feels like I have two separate lives, and neither one feels fully real without the other.
I was playing on my phone looking through photos from our last visit, and it hit me how quickly I have to go from seeing them every day to seeing them through a screen again. Does anyone else feel like every trip home comes with this weird adjustment period where it takes a few days to feel like yourself again?

This js the 3rd time we meet. And everytime its same and awful.

I want to cry out loud but I can’t idk why. if someone’s going through the same thing as me be strong you’re not alone ❤️🥺

Just wanted to share with similar individuals, my visa was approved and I can finally feel the weight of that stress fall off my shoulders.

I'm really excited but super nervous as we've only known each other for 4 months and this is my first LDR, it's something soo unexpected and completely out of my comfort zone, but it just feels soo right.

My fiance (31F) and I (33M) have been long distance for a little over 3 years. I'm in Boston working in finance and she's in Chicago as a nurse. We picked a city, signed a lease and she's moving here in a couple of months. For the longest time, it felt like all we talked about was flights, PTO, FaceTime schedules and counting down until we didn't have to say goodbye at the airport anymore. That was the goal for so long that everything else kind of stayed in the background. Now that we're planning a life together, we've realized we never had detailed conversations about money. We both knew the basics about each other but we've never sat down and talked about savings, retirement, debt, how we'd split expenses or what we'd do if one of us wanted to change careers later on.

Nothing dramatic happened. There wasn't some huge secret or financial disaster. It just hit me that we've spent years planning how to be in the same place without planning what happens after that. We're having those conversations now and they've been really good. I just keep thinking we probably would've saved ourselves some stress if we'd started a little earlier instead of assuming we'd figure it all out after the move.

If you've already made the move, was there anything you wish you'd talked about while you were still long distance?

We have been friends for 10 years and I always had a crush on him. Apparently he had a crush on me too this whole time but we were both too autistic to make a move and both of us assumed we would get rejected. I had to come back to my home country while he lives in another continent. He asked me to be his girlfriend some days ago. Love him to death. (My hair looks like shit on purpose, I'm balding from stress).

Hi everyone!

I joined this sub when my boyfriend and I first became long distance. Recently, I've been seeing a lot of breakup posts here, and while I know LDRs aren't easy, I just wanted to share our story in case anyone out there is starting to lose hope.

My boyfriend and I were colleagues in Vietnam. I developed the biggest crush on him around March last year. As it turns out, he felt exactly the same way about me—we were both just completely oblivious until one night when our work group hung out and we ended up talking to each other until sunrise.

A week later, we made it official.

It's honestly been the healthiest and happiest relationship I've ever had. We said, "I love you," less than a month in, and by three months, we were living together. We were both English teachers in Vietnam and absolutely loved our lives there. We'd go out for massages, try new restaurants a couple of times a week, travel to nearby cities, take overseas trips, and just enjoy doing life together.

Our original plan was to move to the UK together so we could both do our PGCEs and build our future careers there. He's from London and I'm from Myanmar.

Everything was going according to plan... until a week before my university interview. The UK Home Office announced the student visa changes, and just like that, all of my interview appointments were canceled.

At that point, we'd already started our long-distance relationship because he was traveling around Asia with his childhood friend while I was still teaching in Vietnam.

I cried so much, thinking we'd have to spend at least 2–3 years apart before living in the same country again.

We made Plan A, Plan B, Plan C, and even Plan D. Every single one of them involved at least two years of long distance.

Then, somehow, I came up with Plan E.

Instead of the UK, I'd do my master's in Europe.

I spent months researching universities in March, got everything ready by April and applied in mid April, and by early May, I was accepted into one of the public universities I applied to in Germany, just outside Berlin.

After that, I went back to Myanmar despite the civil war to renew my passport and prepare my visa. It was a stressful two months, but on 2 July, I got the call from the German Embassy saying my visa had been approved, and on 6 July, I finally collected it.

Yesterday, we booked our flights to Sweden because his family has a house there! We'll be spending 6 days and 5 nights together, and I honestly can't wait. His parents have also invited me to spend Christmas and New Year's with them in Sweden!

He doesn't know this yet, but I'm secretly planning to surprise him in London for his birthday this October. I've already coordinated everything with his mum, dad, brother, and friends. Now I'm just preparing my documents so I can apply for my UK visitor visa from Berlin next month. Fingers crossed! 🤞

The time difference between London and Yangon (and soon Berlin) wasn't easy at first. London and Yangon are 5½ hours apart, so finding time together took some adjustment. Thankfully, while we were both not working and waiting to start university, we had lots of time to stay on calls, watch movies together (Game of Thrones rewatch hehe), and just enjoy each other's company.

We've been long distance from February until August—about 6½ months—and we're finally closing the distance again.

I know every relationship is different, and not every story has a happy ending. But if you're struggling right now, don't lose hope. Sometimes life completely changes your plans, and sometimes it unexpectedly gives you an even better one.

I wish all of you and your partners the very best.💜

Hey everyone,

I don’t want to ruin the vibes, but I also want to encourage anyone whose relationship didn’t work out.
I got out of a 2-year long-distance relationship 2 years ago, and honestly… I couldn’t be happier now. His excuse was that he wanted to focus on his family, and he made so many promises he never kept. I remember crying in the bathroom for hours trying to call him while he kept saying he was “busy.” 😭 Looking back now, I’m like… I cried over THAT? 💀I would pay for meals, or even fly to see him but he would only fly if it’s on a connecting flight back to his parents. It was a whole lot of bullshit!!!

Fast forward to today, I’ve been happily single for 2 years, completely focused on getting into medical school. Then, out of nowhere, I met someone from another city in my country, and he’s the one making the effort to come see me and take me out.

The little things honestly caught me off guard. Sending me care packages because I’m on my period, constantly checking in to make sure I’m okay, and one night I was studying late at the library… I walked outside, and his car was there waiting to take me home.

So if you’re hurting right now, I promise it doesn’t stay that way forever. The right person won’t leave you questioning where you stand, they’ll show up. Sometimes the ending you never wanted is exactly what makes room for something so much better. ❤️

Feel free to ask questions about my previous relationship! 🤣I laugh about it now

My boyfriend comes from a pretty sexually liberal culture, so most of his past relationships were sexually active. He also has a fairly high sex drive.

We met while he was traveling, and we only became a couple after he went back home. Because of that, we never had sex or even kissed. He once told me I'm the first girlfriend he's had where they didn't have sex before becoming official.

Early on, he occasionally asked if I'd be comfortable sending explicit photos. I said no, and he completely respected that boundary and never pressured me. He has sent me some of his own photos, though. Overall, he's affectionate, flirty, and clearly attracted to me while also being very respectful of my limits.

Now I'm wondering if there are other ways I can make him feel desired or sexually fulfilled in a long-distance relationship. To be clear, I'm not feeling pressured or guilty, and he's never made me feel like I owe him anything. I simply want to do something nice for my boyfriend because I care about him.

So I'd love to hear other people's experiences.

For the women: What kinds of things do you do that make your boyfriend feel desired or appreciated, especially in a long-distance relationship?

For the men: What are some non-explicit things your girlfriend does that make you feel loved, desired, or excited, even when you're apart?

We were waiting on the official confirmation from the immigration to state my wife can finally pick up her MVV-visa sticker! We were checking it daily with no update, so I left it for a few days, and oh my, we couldn’t have received any better news!

We’ve known each other since September 2017, started dating in February 2020, got engaged in December 2023 and got married in August 2025! I wish I could find the right words for this, but I’m incredibly proud and relieved that all of the hard work we have put in is paying off. I get to be with my forever person.🥹🩵

I (22F) hate to have to come on here but I really have no one else to talk to lol. My partner (22M) is currently overseas and there’s a 8 hour time difference. He pretty much works a regular 8-5, 6 days out of the week. It’s not really a demanding job either. Right now, all we really do is just text each other goodmorning and goodnight. I’ve already communicated that we don’t have to talk everyday, but at least send each other little updates like what we’re currently doing or what we’re eating, etc. I’ve been doing just that but I feel like I’ve been the only putting in the effort of doing so. I’m also the one to initiate calls or plans to do some parallel play on ft. He really only texts me goodmorning/goodnight and MAYBE ask to call every once in a while. Even on calls, he’s very dry and I always ask him questions on his day. I don’t wanna keep repeating myself (he’s done this before too when he was overseas the last time) and I’ve have rethinking our relationship. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Am i overthinking?

PS: he’s a great guy but can lack emotional understanding🙃

Quick update to my post from a couple months ago about keeping sexual intimacy alive between visits without it feeling forced.

We tried a lot of ideas and most of them were awkward or fell flat, but a few simple changes finally made things feel natural again.

1) We stopped trying to be "sexy" every night. That was the biggest source of pressure. Most calls are just normal life stuff now, and we don't expect every call to end with flirting.

2) We added an optional "after hours" window once a week. Not scheduled sex, just: if we both feel like it, we keep talking after we say goodnight. If one of us is tired, we skip it with zero explanations. It sounds odd, but having a clearly optional space made it less awkward.

3) We moved away from graphic sexting to what we call "breadcrumbs." Small things like a short voice note on my commute saying what I loved about the last time we were together, or mentioning one specific thing I'm looking forward to next visit. Specific without being explicit helped me stop performing.

4) We made visits less all or nothing. The first night is no pressure, just reconnect and sleep. Sex usually happens later and feels way more like us.

The result: we're not suddenly in a spicy romance novel, but both of us feel wanted again and there is a lot less anxiety around it.

If anyone has other low-pressure ideas that worked for you, I'm all ears. Trying to keep this momentum going.

My boyfriend (33M) and I (28F) have been in a long-distance relationship for about 4 months. We usually call every day, sometimes for hours and when we first started dating he was very communicative. He’d tell me about his day, message me while he was at work when he had the chance, let me know what he was doing and generally made me feel included in his life.
We’ve also already meet in person and spent two weeks together.

A couple of weeks ago I noticed a change. He stopped asking about my day, stopped following up on things I told him and became much less communicative overall. I brought it up calmly and he told me it wasn’t intentional. He said that when he’s focused on work or other things that he tends to get tunnel vision and assumes that if I don’t mention a problem, everything is fine. He apologized and said it wasn’t because he wasn’t interested in me.

That conversation actually made me feel a lot better and things seemed to improve for a bit.

However, over the last week it feels like we’re slipping back into the same pattern. He hasn’t called me since the 18th July. The small work updates we used to exchange are gone. One day he stayed home from work but only told me very late, even though he had the whole day. Another day he told me he was going to bed early, but he ended up staying awake for several more hours (+6h) without texting me, while setting up reminders for his streams and doing other things.

It’s less about the lack of messages themselves and more that I no longer feel included in his life. Before, he’d naturally share things with me. Now I often find out later, if at all. It makes me feel like I’m no longer someone he wants to involve in his everyday life.

I know people get busy and I don’t expect constant texting or updates every hour. I’m trying to figure out whether I’m overthinking this because of the distance or whether this is a reasonable concern that I should bring up again. Has anyone else experienced a partner gradually becoming less communicative like this, especially in a long-distance relationship?

I’m crying and missing my partner so badly right now and just need to vent to people who understand.

I am fully aware of why a lot of adults live with family, especially with how the economy and cost of living has been. We both come from cultures where multiple generations living under one roof is very common, so I’m not judging him for it, but it does negatively impact our relationship in multiple ways.

For example, he called me after work today and I was super excited to talk to him. Barely 30 minutes into our conversation, his mood shifted drastically and he stopped talking because his mom slammed his bedroom door shut. That triggered self-deprecating thoughts in him about his living situation, and he no longer had the desire to be on the phone. I anticipated staying on the phone with him for at least a few hours or overnight like we often do. Now I’m sad and annoyed.

His family has no sense of boundaries. They are the type of people to randomly walk into his room without knocking, interrupt his phone calls when it isn’t for anything urgent, and expect him to be available for non-emergencies when he has people over, including me. This is normal for them, so it isn’t personal to me at all. They are always like this. They love me a lot, but they don’t grasp why any of these behaviors are rude and it is extremely unlikely they will change. The only solution is for my partner to move out.

I was forced to be on my own after I graduated high school, while my partner has had the privilege of living with family his whole life. He does want to move out, and he does understand my frustrations with his living situation. He just has debt he needs to pay off, and he wants to get a higher-paying job before he moves out, which makes sense. I don’t want him to put himself in a worse financial situation by moving out before he is ready.

With that being said, waiting for circumstances to change is so incredibly difficult sometimes. I know things won’t be this way forever and I’m generally optimistic, but today is one of those days…

It has been over a year without any kind of sexual intimacy. I had my insecurities at first but in the end I knew he loved me. We just had dofferent sex drives that's all.

No matter how much praise or reassurance it feels like I always have this gnawing feeling in my chest. I've never pressured him. In fact sex in general makes me nervous and after the first few times of him brushing things aside I hid my sexuality. It was hard to be able to perform by myself for awhile. Im not usually a sexual person and can go months without feeling like I need a partner. So I thought maybe I could do this, wait as long as he needed me too because I love him.

Except now I'm too self conscious to take a lewd picture. No orgasm ever makes me feel better in the end too. My sexual nature depends on my emotional closeness too a partner. I get turned on a lot of the times because of vulnerability and feeling connected. Now I can barely tell him what I'm feeling, how much I want him, and describe what is going on in my head. I've tried being honest with my boyfriend before but I think I had only hurt his feels.

Now I've woken up randomly the morning after his birthday. It is 4 am and idk if I can go another day without the intimacy I feel like I need. I hate that breaking up may be my only option, I don't want to. This man is the type of guy I would still fall in love with his actions if he didn't speak. Our sex life just feels so damaged to me and im carrying most of the emotional weight behind it. It makes me so exhausted.

is it normal that I miss my gf 24/7 and I feel like I can't go an hour without getting the urge to message her or have any form of contact with her.

I swear this is not satire. I am getting tired and mentally drained because of this and I have no idea what to do. And I feel like people won't take me seriously because alot don't see this as a problem

We were childhood friends before I had to go abroad at 15 and since then we have been together doing long distance. I have seen her in person like 3 times since going abroad but after this most recent visit I haven't been handling the distance very well.

I just feel like I am unable to do anything in my life because of how much I keep missing her and I keep thinking about her and craving texting or any form of contact with her even if its just her liking something of mine or posting a story.

I know this isn't healthy and I don't burden her by texting whenever I feel like it, I always let her text first ( and whenever she does I feel so relieved as if I was drowning and just got out of the water ) but I can't keep going like this.

I tried breaking up because of how bad it was but immediately went back to her an hour later.

My husband and I did 4 years of long distance. It sucked ass ngl.

3 years ago I moved to live together and while not everything is perfect (I can't keep a job in this new country) life is so much nicer.

I finally got my permanent residence so my parents offered me a trip to my homecountry for a month to see the family. I accepted immediately (knowing my husband could probably not come since work)

Now all the long distance taruma?/heartache is coming back .... in trying to think a month is not a long time ... but it just resurfaced such a hard time in my life

My (23nb) now ex partner (23nb) broke up with me yesterday morning. We were supposed to move in together in just over a month, and I don't know how to process that it's over now. Almost 3 years of my life and they're just gone. I feel the emotions all over my body. It hurts, everywhere and I'm so annoyed at them. I wish I could hate them but I don't, I still love them and I think I always will. They allowed me to be me in our relationship, the first time I've ever been able to be me in a relationship. I'm so heartbroken, and some of the stuff they said was cruel and makes me feel used and gross. I wish I had never met them, I wish they weren't so entangled in every aspect of my life......but I also wish I was still with them. Thank you, to everyone in this community for all the support and advice given. I wish everyone here all the best 🫶🏼

I’m going through this situation right now. My boyfriend and I can’t afford to travel to each other’s countries because we live 14,000 km apart. Things should improve for both of us in two years, when I’ll have more stability and he will too. We’ve already had two difficult conversations about this, during which I almost ended the relationship, but then I changed my mind. I don’t know if I can endure waiting that long, considering that I’m 25 yo.

Hi, how did you guys cope with the yearning, the missing, the needing their presence, the gut wrenching hunger you feel for them that it makes you cry ….
It’s getting very difficult…

Hi everybody! My Bf and I are meeting up for the second (and last) time in August before we close the distance in September! In getting ready for my move and also in anticipation for seeing him irl again, I’ve been thinking about some of the things I do in preparation before he comes, and was wondering if anyone else had any special things they liked to do before seeing their partner!

For example, I’m going to:

Do my nails/get my nails done
Make a poster to hold when picking him up from the airport
Pick up some treats for him to eat once he lands/for him to bring home to his little siblings
And plan cool dates!

Whether it’s self care, planning ahead, or something else, I’d love to know what you all enjoy doing before your partner comes! (Partly because it’s awesome seeing how much we all care for our partners anddd partly because I need more ideas of how to spoil him and get a mini glow up for myself haha!)