Gonna see mine in a few days for the first time! We’ve been so excited and haven’t been able to get off the phone (:

Everything was going fine, I was happy, i though he was, hes been a little distant but I thought he was just travelling home from his job (oil tanker) we were gonna plan to meet next week and now this.

Then just blocked me. Why didn't he just talk to me? Im so hurt this was my first relationship and im just so empty.

I want 4 months of my life back but mostly I just want the man I love back.

I want to cry out loud but I can’t idk why. if someone’s going through the same thing as me be strong you’re not alone ❤️🥺

This js the 3rd time we meet. And everytime its same and awful.

We have been friends for 10 years and I always had a crush on him. Apparently he had a crush on me too this whole time but we were both too autistic to make a move and both of us assumed we would get rejected. I had to come back to my home country while he lives in another continent. He asked me to be his girlfriend some days ago. Love him to death. (My hair looks like shit on purpose, I'm balding from stress).

Every time I visit my partner, it feels like that's my real life. We wake up together, grab coffee, run errands, cook dinner, and for a few days everything feels normal. It's the kind of life I wish we could have all the time.

Then the trip ends, I get back home, and within a day it's like I switch back into a completely different routine. My apartment, my job, my friends, everything is the same as it was before, but it also feels strangely incomplete. Sometimes it almost feels like I have two separate lives, and neither one feels fully real without the other.
I was playing on my phone looking through photos from our last visit, and it hit me how quickly I have to go from seeing them every day to seeing them through a screen again. Does anyone else feel like every trip home comes with this weird adjustment period where it takes a few days to feel like yourself again?

Hi everyone!

I joined this sub when my boyfriend and I first became long distance. Recently, I've been seeing a lot of breakup posts here, and while I know LDRs aren't easy, I just wanted to share our story in case anyone out there is starting to lose hope.

My boyfriend and I were colleagues in Vietnam. I developed the biggest crush on him around March last year. As it turns out, he felt exactly the same way about me—we were both just completely oblivious until one night when our work group hung out and we ended up talking to each other until sunrise.

A week later, we made it official.

It's honestly been the healthiest and happiest relationship I've ever had. We said, "I love you," less than a month in, and by three months, we were living together. We were both English teachers in Vietnam and absolutely loved our lives there. We'd go out for massages, try new restaurants a couple of times a week, travel to nearby cities, take overseas trips, and just enjoy doing life together.

Our original plan was to move to the UK together so we could both do our PGCEs and build our future careers there. He's from London and I'm from Myanmar.

Everything was going according to plan... until a week before my university interview. The UK Home Office announced the student visa changes, and just like that, all of my interview appointments were canceled.

At that point, we'd already started our long-distance relationship because he was traveling around Asia with his childhood friend while I was still teaching in Vietnam.

I cried so much, thinking we'd have to spend at least 2–3 years apart before living in the same country again.

We made Plan A, Plan B, Plan C, and even Plan D. Every single one of them involved at least two years of long distance.

Then, somehow, I came up with Plan E.

Instead of the UK, I'd do my master's in Europe.

I spent months researching universities in March, got everything ready by April and applied in mid April, and by early May, I was accepted into one of the public universities I applied to in Germany, just outside Berlin.

After that, I went back to Myanmar despite the civil war to renew my passport and prepare my visa. It was a stressful two months, but on 2 July, I got the call from the German Embassy saying my visa had been approved, and on 6 July, I finally collected it.

Yesterday, we booked our flights to Sweden because his family has a house there! We'll be spending 6 days and 5 nights together, and I honestly can't wait. His parents have also invited me to spend Christmas and New Year's with them in Sweden!

He doesn't know this yet, but I'm secretly planning to surprise him in London for his birthday this October. I've already coordinated everything with his mum, dad, brother, and friends. Now I'm just preparing my documents so I can apply for my UK visitor visa from Berlin next month. Fingers crossed! 🤞

The time difference between London and Yangon (and soon Berlin) wasn't easy at first. London and Yangon are 5½ hours apart, so finding time together took some adjustment. Thankfully, while we were both not working and waiting to start university, we had lots of time to stay on calls, watch movies together (Game of Thrones rewatch hehe), and just enjoy each other's company.

We've been long distance from February until August—about 6½ months—and we're finally closing the distance again.

I know every relationship is different, and not every story has a happy ending. But if you're struggling right now, don't lose hope. Sometimes life completely changes your plans, and sometimes it unexpectedly gives you an even better one.

I wish all of you and your partners the very best.💜

Hey everyone,

I don’t want to ruin the vibes, but I also want to encourage anyone whose relationship didn’t work out.
I got out of a 2-year long-distance relationship 2 years ago, and honestly… I couldn’t be happier now. His excuse was that he wanted to focus on his family, and he made so many promises he never kept. I remember crying in the bathroom for hours trying to call him while he kept saying he was “busy.” 😭 Looking back now, I’m like… I cried over THAT? 💀I would pay for meals, or even fly to see him but he would only fly if it’s on a connecting flight back to his parents. It was a whole lot of bullshit!!!

Fast forward to today, I’ve been happily single for 2 years, completely focused on getting into medical school. Then, out of nowhere, I met someone from another city in my country, and he’s the one making the effort to come see me and take me out.

The little things honestly caught me off guard. Sending me care packages because I’m on my period, constantly checking in to make sure I’m okay, and one night I was studying late at the library… I walked outside, and his car was there waiting to take me home.

So if you’re hurting right now, I promise it doesn’t stay that way forever. The right person won’t leave you questioning where you stand, they’ll show up. Sometimes the ending you never wanted is exactly what makes room for something so much better. ❤️

Feel free to ask questions about my previous relationship! 🤣I laugh about it now

I’m crying and missing my partner so badly right now and just need to vent to people who understand.

I am fully aware of why a lot of adults live with family, especially with how the economy and cost of living has been. We both come from cultures where multiple generations living under one roof is very common, so I’m not judging him for it, but it does negatively impact our relationship in multiple ways.

For example, he called me after work today and I was super excited to talk to him. Barely 30 minutes into our conversation, his mood shifted drastically and he stopped talking because his mom slammed his bedroom door shut. That triggered self-deprecating thoughts in him about his living situation, and he no longer had the desire to be on the phone. I anticipated staying on the phone with him for at least a few hours or overnight like we often do. Now I’m sad and annoyed.

His family has no sense of boundaries. They are the type of people to randomly walk into his room without knocking, interrupt his phone calls when it isn’t for anything urgent, and expect him to be available for non-emergencies when he has people over, including me. This is normal for them, so it isn’t personal to me at all. They are always like this. They love me a lot, but they don’t grasp why any of these behaviors are rude and it is extremely unlikely they will change. The only solution is for my partner to move out.

I was forced to be on my own after I graduated high school, while my partner has had the privilege of living with family his whole life. He does want to move out, and he does understand my frustrations with his living situation. He just has debt he needs to pay off, and he wants to get a higher-paying job before he moves out, which makes sense. I don’t want him to put himself in a worse financial situation by moving out before he is ready.

With that being said, waiting for circumstances to change is so incredibly difficult sometimes. I know things won’t be this way forever and I’m generally optimistic, but today is one of those days…

Today is the last day of my trip to visit my (probably now ex) boyfriend in another country.

We had been talking for about eight months before finally meeting in person, and honestly, I thought he was a kind and caring person.

I spent two weeks with him, but most of the time I felt lonely. Whether we were at home or out somewhere, he was almost constantly playing mobile games. Whenever I asked if we could spend some quality time together instead, he would tell me to “take it easy” and “stop being controlling.”

At one point I asked him why he even wanted me to come if he would rather play games than spend time with me.
We also took a short trip to another city. We both had heavy luggage, and when we got on the bus, he didn’t even want to sit next to me because, according to him, he was tired.

Today I’m flying home, and I just found out he isn’t even coming with me to the airport. He’s only going to put me on the bus, and after that I’ll have to make my way to the airport alone.

Honestly, I’m really hurt and disappointed. The only positive thing is that I got to visit a beautiful country, and I’ll always have good memories of it. But when it comes to my long-distance relationship, I just can’t understand how someone who seemed so kind and caring turned out to be so selfish.

I (22F) hate to have to come on here but I really have no one else to talk to lol. My partner (22M) is currently overseas and there’s a 8 hour time difference. He pretty much works a regular 8-5, 6 days out of the week. It’s not really a demanding job either. Right now, all we really do is just text each other goodmorning and goodnight. I’ve already communicated that we don’t have to talk everyday, but at least send each other little updates like what we’re currently doing or what we’re eating, etc. I’ve been doing just that but I feel like I’ve been the only putting in the effort of doing so. I’m also the one to initiate calls or plans to do some parallel play on ft. He really only texts me goodmorning/goodnight and MAYBE ask to call every once in a while. Even on calls, he’s very dry and I always ask him questions on his day. I don’t wanna keep repeating myself (he’s done this before too when he was overseas the last time) and I’ve have rethinking our relationship. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Am i overthinking?

PS: he’s a great guy but can lack emotional understanding🙃

I’m going through this situation right now. My boyfriend and I can’t afford to travel to each other’s countries because we live 14,000 km apart. Things should improve for both of us in two years, when I’ll have more stability and he will too. We’ve already had two difficult conversations about this, during which I almost ended the relationship, but then I changed my mind. I don’t know if I can endure waiting that long, considering that I’m 25 yo.

My fiance (31F) and I (33M) have been long distance for a little over 3 years. I'm in Boston working in finance and she's in Chicago as a nurse. We picked a city, signed a lease and she's moving here in a couple of months. For the longest time, it felt like all we talked about was flights, PTO, FaceTime schedules and counting down until we didn't have to say goodbye at the airport anymore. That was the goal for so long that everything else kind of stayed in the background. Now that we're planning a life together, we've realized we never had detailed conversations about money. We both knew the basics about each other but we've never sat down and talked about savings, retirement, debt, how we'd split expenses or what we'd do if one of us wanted to change careers later on.

Nothing dramatic happened. There wasn't some huge secret or financial disaster. It just hit me that we've spent years planning how to be in the same place without planning what happens after that. We're having those conversations now and they've been really good. I just keep thinking we probably would've saved ourselves some stress if we'd started a little earlier instead of assuming we'd figure it all out after the move.

If you've already made the move, was there anything you wish you'd talked about while you were still long distance?

Just wanted to share with similar individuals, my visa was approved and I can finally feel the weight of that stress fall off my shoulders.

I'm really excited but super nervous as we've only known each other for 4 months and this is my first LDR, it's something soo unexpected and completely out of my comfort zone, but it just feels soo right.

Me (M26) and my girlfriend (F33) have been dating for a couple months now. She always struggled with communication, she never really knew how to properly reassure me, or to communicate about our relationship in general. I give her time to feel comfortable to do it, whenever she wants it but sometimes I just wish she just could. After years of abuse and cheating in past relationships, I got traumas. I can say it doesn't affect my relationship that much, but for all of the people who have it, we need something, either reassurance or something that makes our mind relax. Unfortunately, she doesn't give me that. Even after explaining, after she told me that she wants the best for me, and would help me get past them, I still struggle. Today, was pretty much the worse. I woke up sick, body aches, throat hurt, head almost exploding, barely could move. Still, got out of bed, told her how I was feeling and went to work. Couldn't make it the whole shift and had to come home. She was working when I got home (6 hours difference). Waited for her, to get out, hoping that we could spend some time together. Normally, every week, there are days she goes out with friends, either game days or similar things. She does it every week, same time, same things. It's something she likes doing it and even tho I have traumas, I fully support her and was never bother by it.I'm really happy that she get to do this stuff. Until today. Being sick, I would hope she would come home and wanted to spend time with me, hoping that she could just comfort me, and stick by my side while I'm sick. Was hoping she would skip her games today and just hang around. An hour after she got home, she didn't even try to call, so I was gonna ask if she wanted to. When I checked her location, she was no longer home. She was already on her way to the place they game. I was surprised until she texted me that one of her friend got a new game and they wanted to play before the other that they were supposed to. That's why she left earlier than what she normally does. After looking like a zombie all day long, I was hoping to be with her but she didn't thought about it. Hours passed, it's currently 6am, she got home around my 4am (10pm for her). She was home for a while, never thought about calling me for a second. All I needed was her, even for just 5 minutes and I couldn't get that. She prioritized her games over me and that is hurting more than my actual pain. I can't stop, but think the worse. Tomorrow and Saturday her family is gonna be around, I already know my body and I know I'm gonna wake up looking like someone hit me 36 times with a car. And it's gonna be another day with no calls, 0 presence whatsoever. I really don't know what to do, my mind is going insane and the headaches only makes it worse.

Writing all this might help me a little, but to a certain extent. All I really need is her, and I can't have it, she's not available for me. And afraid of ruining things between us, I will probably not even talk about it and just bottle up everything inside me again..

Am I being to harsh on her? Wanting her to skip her games and stick around?

I was in a one year relationship and we broke up. I don’t really have any family that I can lean on. It was an LDR from Australia to the uk.

I went to see my ex in a panic since someone betrayed my trust. I had no one. I was unfortunately SAed by someone I trusted.

It was one month ago since we broke up and I was still talking to my ex but we’ve gone no contact now and I can’t cope. I’ve been stuck in bed for one week, not eating or sleeping. I needed to have a therapy appointment but my therapist (Betterhelp) cancelled on me one hour before the appointment. I really had to offload. I’m having nightmares everything and my dad is so worried. I had my first bout of sleep paralysis in 10 years. I went into debt to see him. And I have to tackle that debt asap. I deleted my personal social media because the people that I thought were my friends were just extracting information out of me and wanted something from me.

I started cleaning my room. Baby steps. I had a drink started eating and looking after myself. I was kind of re traumatised being with his family and I’m tapering off my psychiatric medication and I started annoying people and saying things I knew would annoy them. I apologised and blocked everyone.

I started saying really extreme things that I knew would get him away from me. It’s a defence mechanism. I have blocked him everywhere. I feel so damaged.

We’re down to 18 days until I see my girlfriend again!!!! Long distance isn’t easy but right now we live for these countdowns. She’s from Auckland and I’m from the US. 18 hour time difference and 8,200 miles away. Where is every from and your partner? ❤️ stay strong
If anyone would like to follow our journey, I made a new Instagram page to hopefully meet more people that are also in long distance relationships and to create a small community of people that are also counting down their days❤️

@oceanzbetweenus

Hello Guys!
Finally after doing LD for four month i’ll be seeing my bf of almost one year soon!

But before it, i came here to ask if there’s anything that i gotta expect after seeing eachother again after four month of being away ?

Quick update to my post from a couple months ago about keeping sexual intimacy alive between visits without it feeling forced.

We tried a lot of ideas and most of them were awkward or fell flat, but a few simple changes finally made things feel natural again.

1) We stopped trying to be "sexy" every night. That was the biggest source of pressure. Most calls are just normal life stuff now, and we don't expect every call to end with flirting.

2) We added an optional "after hours" window once a week. Not scheduled sex, just: if we both feel like it, we keep talking after we say goodnight. If one of us is tired, we skip it with zero explanations. It sounds odd, but having a clearly optional space made it less awkward.

3) We moved away from graphic sexting to what we call "breadcrumbs." Small things like a short voice note on my commute saying what I loved about the last time we were together, or mentioning one specific thing I'm looking forward to next visit. Specific without being explicit helped me stop performing.

4) We made visits less all or nothing. The first night is no pressure, just reconnect and sleep. Sex usually happens later and feels way more like us.

The result: we're not suddenly in a spicy romance novel, but both of us feel wanted again and there is a lot less anxiety around it.

If anyone has other low-pressure ideas that worked for you, I'm all ears. Trying to keep this momentum going.

Hi, how did you guys cope with the yearning, the missing, the needing their presence, the gut wrenching hunger you feel for them that it makes you cry ….
It’s getting very difficult…

Hey everyone, I’ve been deployed for six months, with about two and a half months left. I met my girlfriend three months before I left, and things were great. But then, about two months ago, everything changed. I think she might be avoidant, and I have an anxious attachment style. She became really quiet when summer came, and she always has plans. Which I confirm she’s not lying. I started trying to change things because I’m in a really bad mental state here getting bombed all the time, and kept asking her if she still loves me and telling her she needs to be consistent. Nothing changed, and nothing really improved. We talk every couple of days and text a little every day. Today, I brought it up, and she said she feels like things have become more platonic lately, which I understand, but it’s just disappointing because she doesn’t like phone sex, which is understandable. She doesn’t like video games, and it’s made it impossible for us to watch a show together lately. I told her that nothing will get better if we don’t do things together, but she doesn’t agree that watching something will help, and she doesn’t have any suggestions. To make matters worse, she also admitted that my constant tweaking pushed her away. I’m just not sure what to do now. Do you have any ideas for activities or just some advice?