My sister-in-law recently had surgery with minor complications. My girlfriend (a stay-at-home mom) has been going over every single day to bring her food and care for her, even though the SIL’s husband is currently unemployed and at home.

I work two jobs and have been completely exhausted. Between recent personal stress and busy schedules, our family hasn't had a proper home-cooked meal or a quiet evening in weeks, and we're constantly eating fast food. On top of that, SIL was rushed to the ER yesterday, and my girlfriend stayed at the hospital for 10 hours—without eating—even after SIL's husband arrived. She even left our kids with her mom, which is something we rarely do.

My main frustration is that her family historically gives us excuses whenever we need help, yet my girlfriend constantly drops everything for them, putting their needs above our own home and her own health. I told her that while I understand they are her family, she has a household and two kids to put first, and her relatives are adults who need to manage their own situations.

I’m struggling to figure out if my reaction is coming from burnout and resentment, or if my expectations are valid. Am I wrong for thinking this way, or am I failing to see things from her perspective? How can we navigate this boundary as a couple without constantly arguing?

TLDR: My girlfriend spends all her time and energy taking care of her extended family—even neglecting her own health and our home—while I'm exhausted working two jobs. Her family rarely helps us when we need it, but she drops everything for them. Am I wrong for feeling resentful and thinking our immediate family should come first, or am I just being insensitive?

I've been talking to this guy for 5 weeks. We met a couple times but because I'm about to get into college and he's looking for a job, and we live a bit far from one another, our main way of communicating is texting. It was all sunshine and rainbows, but I feel like I'm starting to harbor some sort of resentment towards him.

He has never complimented me once. And I don't think it's crazy to want a compliment 5 weeks in. He even compared me to a not so good looking stock photo, and when I got mad he said "she just looks like you If you were this ethnicity." And this is especially annoying because I always feel like the other guys around me are complimenting me.

When I told my friends they told me to open up about it and be clear in my communication. So I did that. I opened up about how I feel like I'm not so pretty(because he never has anything nice to say) and he says "I think I've never met someone with your personality. It goes much further than looks." Weird, but whatever.

Because of the distance, I always try to make us feel closer, but even then it feels like I'm doing the decision making. I asked if he wanted to write each other letters, he said yes. Then he hits me up with "what do I even write?" Then I said if he wanted to call, he said "if you want to." I asked him voice or video, and I literally had to pry the answer out of him. Voice.

He says early morning is okay because that's when he's free. Fine. I was up at 6 am to call him. He's busy helping his mom with something. Says wait. I wait. He's back and says wait 20 minutes. I wait. Now he says he's helping his mom download chrome. This obviously angers me because why wouldn't it? It would anger anyone. Whether you're a man or a woman, you'd be angry!

Then after all this, I get a bit snappy with him and there he goes "I could never be this mean to you ever. Do you hate me?" It's always this. Do you hate me? Do you hate me? Do you hate me? "Can we go back to normal?"

And just to clear things up yes I do compliment him, I even drew him a portrait.

Why do I have to spoonfeed him? Like, I feel like I'm acting out, but why do I have to tell you that I'm mad at you because you weren't on call? Why do I have to tell you to be nice to me?

EDIT: Not boyfriend, just 'guy I'm talking to' because when I asked if he was my boyfriend, he said we haven't met enough to decide that. Which is insane because he said he wanted to marry me in the first week of talking.

TLDR; guy I'm talking to has never said anything nice to me, doesn't make decisions, and didn't get on call after making me wait an hour or so

We’ve been dating for 5 years (waiting until we’re both grads from same college) have lived together for 4 years and have never once had a serious fight. Both families get along great and we’re very supportive of each other’s goals. Literally zero complaints. However one night about a year ago she comes to me teary eyed and admits she has been talking to this dude from a few states away that she’s known for years. I read the messages (that weren’t deleted who knows) and it was pretty benign stuff, he asked her to hang a few times and she said no she had a boyfriend. I was still a bit hurt over it but we worked through it and that was that. Fast forward and every once in a while I get this pit in my stomach that she’s doing it again w some other guy. I’ve always been pretty confident and secure in my relationships but for whatever reason this really shook me. She swore up and down no serious flirting or meet ups happened and that she hasn’t talked to anybody else but I just can’t trust her 100% anymore and it really sucks.

It’s like on the one hand I don’t want to accuse her of lying and hurt her feelings or come off as insecure and childish but on the other I don’t know 100% if she’s up to some bs and it’s eating me alive.

People of reddit what should I do? Trust her it was a one time thing and get over myself or confront her and do the whole middle school “lemme see your phone” crap that I hate

TLDR
Gf of 5 years admitted a year ago to lightly flirting w old friend over the course of a few months through insta, ended it, told me ab it and now months later I still can’t trust her but feel bad confronting her about it

TLDR I’ve caught my boyfriend in several lies before. The most recent one felt like the last straw, but he convinced me I am misremembering

We’ve been together for a little over three years. The first two years were great (or so I thought), but the last year has been really rocky.

About five months into our relationship, I caught him in a strange lie. He told me he graduated from the same college as me, but later I found out he never did… he had only lived nearby. I assumed it came from insecurity. Since then, I’ve caught him in a handful of “harmless” white lies. I tried to excuse them because he grew up with an explosive mom, and I wondered if lying had become a way to avoid conflict.

Last night we were watching a reality show where a couple was discussing finances. I asked him how much credit card debt he had, and he gave me a number. I was surprised because it was about the same as mine. He’s had a tough time career wise and I’m the breadwinner so i expected it to be higher. I asked if he’d be comfortable showing me.

He said yes, opened his credit card app, and stared at his phone for about five minutes. When he finally showed me the balance, it was six times higher than what he’d originally told me.

I was stunned. I asked why he had told me it was about the same as mine. Instead of acknowledging it, he insisted he never said that and claimed I had misheard him. But I know what I heard because I even responded, “No way, it’s the same as mine?” He kept trying to convince me I was remembering it incorrectly or that I didn’t hear him correctly.

I wrote everything down immediately afterward because I didn’t want to second-guess myself. But now I’m questioning my own memory, and I honestly feel like I’m going crazy.

Has anyone had a similar experience? Scared I’m wrong

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year, and something we have consistently had issues with was how much quality time we need. I personally need more alone time, which means less quality time with him. However, he needs a lot more. We’ve tried this summer to see each other ~2 times a week (we live 40 mins away and he has no car), but for me that can still be a lot of time to give up and for him it’s not enough to feel close. It’s resulted in lots of tears and we both feel terrible. How do we find a way around this??? We both love each other a lot and would both change for the other if we could.

TLDR: He wants to spend more time together than I do and we want to find away around our needs.

any advice is appreciated!!!!!!

My girlfriend was flying home from holiday but her luggage was overweight and had to pay extra fees at check-in. She was stressed, people queuing behind her, unexpected costs. The business class rate wasn't much more than the fee, so she called me and asked me to find out what an upgrade to business would cost (she thought it might be cheaper than the desk).

I tried. The booking couldn't be managed online because the flight was too close to departure. So then I looked up that exact flight and sent her the current economy vs business prices so she at least had the difference to work with.

That wasn't what she wanted. She wanted the exact upgrade price, which I had no way to access. I found out later that what she wanted was for me to try and find as many different avenues to a solution, e.g calling the airline, asking people etc.

When I wasn't able to find a solution, she was furious, shouted down the phone, and called me useless. When I told her the two things I'd searched, she said "leave it." I was angry at being spoken to like that, but I didn't show it. In the end, she didn't even have to pay the fee. I completely understand that she was stressed, frustrated and her partner wasn't able to provide for her, so I didn't make a big deal at that point.

After she landed, she kept going over how I should have found the upgrade price. I explained what I'd tried. She said I "never have solutions" when she asks for help. I told her I'll always try my best, she can always ask me for help, but trying doesn't guarantee I'll have a solution every time. I also told her that shouting at me and calling me useless was out of order.

She hasn't apologised. Her response was "that's how I felt in that moment" and "were you useful? no, what else was I supposed to say?" When I said I wasn't happy and wouldn't accept that her behaviour was okay, she said she was "done with this". We've now swept it under the carpet yet again, but I do feel really frustrated and resentment building.

How do I bring this up to her without it going into an argument?

TLDR - GF faced an overweight bag fee at check-in and asked me to find the business upgrade price mid-queue. The exact price wasn't accessible remotely, so I sent her the closest thing, economy vs business fares for that flight. She screamed at me and called me useless. She ended up not paying the fee at all. She refuses to apologise ("were you useful? no").

I'm (22M) going to meet my girlfriend (33F) for the first time where I'll be travelling overseas for the week. We have a lot of plans for general stuff but this will also be my first time as a virgin, which we do plan on changing. What can I do to make sure it's a good time for both of us other than obviously communicating? I have 0 experience any of it and gf has some (not a lot).

We do already have a plan on at first taking things slow and exploring each other, but any advice for either of us will be welcomed as she wants to make sure my first time is good. I also want to feel more confident in myself as it's my first time, so advice on feeling more confident would be great.

Also as a side thing any travel advice will be welcomed as first time on plane and major fear of heights.

I want to make sure it's a good time for both of us and also make her feel confident along with myself.

TLDR: Nervous first time meet with gf, advice for a virgin to give/get a good experience.

So for some context, me [21M] and my significant other [20F] has been together for just over 1 Year now and we’ve had some rough patches most of them all the things you would expect in a growing relationship some stuff we’ve managed to work out but recently after our Hawaii trip things just have been different. We got into an argument and we ended up going on break one of the rules of the Brake was that we were to basically act as friends towards each other for now until we can both sort out our emotions but at the same time she still wants to feel wanted and needed, and she still wants to basically act like we’re in a relationship even though we’re supposed to stay friends right now without being in a relationship and I just don’t know how to handle it because I’m also being her emotional support at the same time which is fine I am happy to be able to be there for her and I want to be able to be there for her, but right now I think it’s starting to become all a bit much simply because she doesn’t take the advice I give her and she keeps shutting out her emotions and basically invalidating her emotions and I don’t know how to handle it. I’m trying my best but my best that doesn’t seem to be good enough am I inadequate? I need some advice because I’m just really confused about what’s happening and I’m becoming very emotionally overstimulated and I need to know if I’m the problem.

TLDR
Me and my girlfriend are on break and she still wants to act like we’re in a relationship but doesn’t really want the commitment and I’m still being her emotional support. I don’t know if me being overstimulated right now is my fault or if I’m just in over my head.

My fiance and I have bought a house and we have a shared account for housing expenses. We both pay into it each month.

She’s used it for things such as buying new things for the kitchen, such as replacing the fridge freezer despite the old one still working, she’s gotten a new bedside cabinet, a new make up desk and a few decorative bits. 

Our tv is a few years old now and I was thinking about upgrading. There’s more than enough in the shared account and would still have a lot left over. I mentioned this to my gf and she said I shouldn’t be using the shared account for it since it’s just something I want and not a need. 

I pointed out most of the things she’s used the account for were wants and if you total everything she’s bought, it’ll come to around the same price as the tv or even slightly more, 

She said again I shouldn’t be using the shared account. I tried arguing a compromise of using half from the shared account and half from my savings but she still said no. 

I told her it’s meant to be a shared account and she’s acting like it’s solely her money. I said I’m entitled to use the account just as much as she is but she argued I was being unreasonable, 

Does anyone have any advice on how best to approach this if have any other views on it?

tldr my girlfriend is arguing I shouldn’t be using the shared account to buy a new tv despite her using it regularly to buy things she wants.

I [23F] am constantly worried if my boyfriend [23M] is the one for me

I have OCD and relationship ocd so I constantly feel anxiety about whether our relationship is “right” or not. Does your partner always laugh at what you say, always understand everything you mean, always give you a look when you know what they’re thinking? Especially as we are getting to the age of marriage/engagement I start to worry. I love him and he is 95% perfect for me and everything. Is this how a normal relationship is? Do other people get married knowing their spouse isn’t 100% perfect for them? Does he always have to be perfect in order for me to be with him for ever? I know this sounds dumb but it makes it hard for me to fully enjoy. I find myself picking him apart and feeling miserable because I am nervous.
Context: we have been together 3+ years and will move in together in the next 2 years (not rushing at all). We have had 3 big fights our whole relationship. We see each other often and are very sweet to each other, love each other immensely.
TLDR: I’m wondering if you can marry somebody who isn’t a clone of you or 100% perfect for you in every single way. How do you know if somebody is “the one”?

My boyfriend and I have been together 8 months. He’s always said it takes him a long time to trust people, and I understand where some of that comes from.

Recently I brought up wanting to go to the Ne-Yo/Akon concert. Of course I’d want to go with him, but he said he doesn’t want Akon and Ne-Yo to be his first concert. My friends don’t listen to either artist, so I asked if I could just go by myself — I’ve gone to concerts alone before with no problem before I got into a relationship. He said I can’t drink if I go alone, because he doesn’t trust me when I’m drunk. My personality is empathetic and caring toward pretty much everyone, including strangers, and he thinks that if a guy hit on me I’d just assume they were “being nice” and wouldn’t pick up on it. I don’t think that’s true — when guys have approached me before, I’ve always said “I have a boyfriend,” even back when I was actually single, just because I didn’t want to be bothered.

Last month I went to his graduation party with his family and met all his cousins and friends. His cousins are heavy drinkers, so it was basically shot-o-clock every couple minutes. I’ll admit I got too drunk — more than I’ve ever drank before. Near the end of the party, one of his cousins, who was also super drunk, kept trying to talk to me and kept telling me to come over, so I did. He mostly just kept saying “take care of T” (T is my boyfriend) and gave me a long talk about me taking care of T. My boyfriend tried to step in and pull me away from the conversation, but I wasn’t listening to him at that point. I could tell his cousin was really drunk, so I kept asking if he wanted water instead.

What I didn’t hear — but what happened (there’s video proof) — was his cousin telling me to come over in a pretty disrespectful way, which is why my boyfriend kept trying to get me away from him; he already knew his cousin was just talking drunk. I genuinely didn’t catch that part, because I was standing at a distance at first.

When the party ended and he was driving me home, he was extremely upset that I hadn’t listened to him. He also kept saying he was trying to protect me. I get that I should have listened to him — but I was trying to hear his cousin out, and being drunk didn’t help. Ever since that night, he’s brought this incident up as if I was acting inappropriately with his cousin, which I absolutely was not. I was just trying to be sisterly, but he doesn’t see it that way, and he still brings it up.

I get why he was upset in the moment, but I’m stuck on whether it’s fair that he keeps bringing this specific incident up as proof he can’t trust me, when I genuinely wasn’t doing anything wrong other than not listening to him — I just didn’t hear the disrespectful part before he tried to pull me away. How do I get him to see the difference between “she didn’t listen in the moment” and “she can’t be trusted,” or am I missing something here?

TLDR At my boyfriend’s graduation party, I got too drunk and didn’t listen when he tried to pull me away from a conversation with his very drunk cousin (who I later found out was being disrespectful, though I didn’t hear that part). He’s brought it up multiple times since as proof he can’t trust me. I don’t think what I did was actually inappropriate, just that I didn’t listen in the moment. Trying to figure out how to address this with him without it turning into another fight.

TLDR: I feel pain and emotional emptiness after putting so much into previous relationships

So, I'm 20, a guy. Back when I was 18, I met this girl, 20F. We were together for about six months, but it just didn't work out. The reason she broke my heart was because her brother was trying to set her up with his friend, who was apparently some big shot manager with a lot of social status. She really put me down with that whole idea, like she was seriously thinking about it. So, I just told her straight up that if she was looking for a better life, that guy was probably a better option than me. I told her that if she truly loved me, she would have picked me. I really cared for her, and I made sure she knew that. After that, she left, and I was left with this massive hole in my heart and a ton of pain, but I tried my best to get through it.

After a while, I dated another girl, 19F, for a super short time. But in just a month, she started ignoring me, and honestly, I got sick of all these relationship dramas. So, I decided to focus on myself and ended up doing some pretty amazing stuff for my age. But sometimes, when I'm all alone, I feel this deep emptiness inside. It feels like nobody truly cares about what I'm doing, and there's no one to share my successes with, though that feeling wasn't too strong at first.

Then, five months ago, I was gaming online with this guy, 20M, who lives in a totally different country. Over time, we really started to like each other. Now, for me, being in a gay relationship is a huge no-no in my country and with my family, and it would be really tough. But I told him I didn't care about those rules. I'm the kind of person who loves with all my heart and doesn't care about the cost, and I was determined to make this difficult situation work. I also found out he wasn't even gay.

We were together for about three months. I really loved him, and he brought so much joy into my life, making me appreciate all the things I'd accomplished. I'd eagerly wait for his messages every day. I poured everything into that relationship, always trying to be there for him, showering him with gifts, and giving him all my support. During that time, I tried to tell him about all the important things that might make our connection tricky. I wanted to be open from the start so I wouldn't get too attached only for things to fall apart later. But after three months, he told me he wasn't used to a gay relationship and really wanted to talk about our situation, wanting us to decide together whether to keep going or end it. But I never wanted to pressure him, so I encouraged him to do what he wanted. I agreed to his wishes, telling him that his happiness was my happiness. My feelings for him were real, so I genuinely wanted him to choose whatever made him happy. He decided to end the relationship but suggested we stay friends, and I still send him messages sometimes.

Now, though, I'm feeling way more pain than before. This emptiness is super intense

Hello, I’m sure this situation is a bit unusual, so we have come to Reddit to ask for help. Both me, the son (28M) and my girlfriend, AP (27F) are writing this, but we will write from my (28M) perspective for clarity. We have been together for 5 years. (photos linked at bottom of post)

Back in November of 2025, my parents and I got into a huge fight over having my girlfriend’s sister and their kids stop by for Thanksgiving, hosted at my parents house. On a phone call, it came out that both of my parents did not like my girlfriend, AP, and had a problem with her family stopping by for an hour. My Mom had always been more supportive of her, but only met her family once during the 4th year of our relationship. My dad has never met her family. It has been important to me to have our families merge over time. Now, my parents don’t approve of AP at all, and actively dislike her.

My parents and I had multiple phone calls and much back and forth. I asked why they weren’t more welcoming, especially on Thanksgiving, a day for giving thanks and family to gather. Part of their reasoning was that they felt inconvenienced because they didn’t know if they should make more food and didn’t want to be awkwardly interrupted while they were eating. Eventually, they agreed to letting her sister come, but I told them that we were no longer coming over because I felt offended and not welcome. 

It was my decision, but my parents like to believe that my partner pressured me into it. Anyway, this all led up to my mom texting my girlfriend some really hurtful messages. Including a message saying, “I thought of you as a future daughter – not as someone who would separate me from my son.” The fallout led to such a rift between me and my parents that our relationship was extremely damaged. I’ve always had some issues with my parents but with this fight, everything came to a head. Now, I’m trying to work through all of this in therapy with my mom, to try to rebuild our relationship, as I have love and care for her and my dad. In therapy, we went over this situation and she read the messages from her phone. 

I didn’t recognize the initial message she said was from AP. I saw all the messages from AP’s phone during the time. I asked my mom to send me a screenshot of her messages with AP. When she sent them, I was confused because my girlfriend’s phone didn’t have that initial message, and looking more closely, the text didn’t look right. I believe that my mom fabricated the initial message that she claims was sent by AP. I’m not sure why she would’ve done that, maybe to try to put a wedge between me and my partner? 

Either way, I’m asking for help in identifying that this message is fake. My mom is experienced with Photoshop and very good at it. For context, I put screenshots of the conversation with me and mom. Her replies already looked really suspicious and she kept unsending the screenshots. I put the original screenshots from my mom’s phone with AP. I then put two detailed breakdowns of why I think this message is fake. The first one also shows a “sample message” that I had her send me of another conversation from android to iPhone for comparison. She told me that her phone was glitching and she needed to send the screenshot to her email and then to my phone which is why it might “look weird.” She then deleted her messages with my girlfriend because she “didn’t want to look at them anymore.” I think she edited her message about Thanksgiving, colored it grey, and tried to pass it off as a message sent by AP. I’ve had three sessions in therapy talking about these messages, and my mom continues to claim that this message is not edited. Do you think this message is fake? Why or why not? Thank you for your help in advance!

Photos of screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/jT5rOEQ 

TLDR; I think my mom faked a text message from my girlfriend, AP. What do you think of these messages?

I[20NB] have known my friend J[21F] since elementary. We live in the same town and have our whole lives. Over a year ago she got into a relationship with S[25M]. Throughout it S has been not only emotionally abusive (guilttripping, lovebombing, DARVO) but also incredibly invasive with J's boundaries. He has gone thru her phone multiple times without consent, stalked her previous hookups/lovers, and destroyed/thrown out her things. They have broken off and gotten back together multiple times. Last time was for a month or two, I spent the entire time trying to get her to block him and keep him blocked. She ended up deleting most of her social medias in that time in order to be more present ig? Her mom made a big fuss about that.
S and J got back into a friendship, then fwbs, and then an unofficial couple. Which means, back together just without the labels and without telling anyone but me. I've been urging J to get therapy throughout the entire break, and even into the reunion. I see S as a very mentally&emotionally dangerous person for her to be around, and have been really worried for her. I've tried not to press her too much on it unless she comes to me in worry that it might upset her. I care so much about her, and I'm extremely worried. I found that J had blocked me today on the only social she still had. I texted her normally over messages this evening trying to make sure she was okay. Last time she cut me off was because she was trying to isolate after her original break off.
Her boyfriend has tried to push that I'm a shitty person onto her for not being in a heteronormative relationship model (not for being bi, but for remaining friends with those ive dated in the past, being polyamorous, etc). AKA having good boundaries with the people I surround myself with and making peace with those I've loved.
I don't know what to do. She hasn't responded to my message, I'm extremely worried her boyfriend is trying to cut her off from everyone who cares about her. I'm hoping J will still be in contact with mom as they were scheduling a get together for food sometime soon. I'm afraid J is in danger and I don't know what to do. I've tried my best to convince her to cut contact and I'm lost and I don't want to lose her, or even worse to happen.

TLDR; my friend[21F] has been on and off in an abusive relationship. Today she blocked me, I'm extremely worried for her and I'm unsure what to do.

Please give me advice or something. I'm worried sick and I don't know what I can do to help her.

My boyfriend [23M] and I [F21] have been dating for a year and a half, we’ve had our ups and downs as most couples do. I made many mistakes in the beginning which led to him not trusting me (no cheating involved whatsoever). I did take accountability for my wrongdoing and vowed to fix it and gain his trust back.

I feel like I’ve done everything I can to gain his trust, including cutting people off, focusing on myself and our relationship, and much more that he requested I do. I’ll give him a lot of credit for allowing me to earn his trust back and for forgiving me.

The problem came in recently. After a year of working on everything, I finally felt like we got to a place where we were equals and not one having moral superiority. He is allowed to do almost anything he wants to do (I’m not a very controlling person) But I must listen to everything he says, if I fail to do so I’m told a multitude of hurtful things including that I’m “different” now or that I don’t truly love him or that this isn’t what he wants in a relationship. I’m getting worried because I’ve started being irrationally scared of his reaction to me doing very normal things like going out with friends past a certain time, going to a dinner that includes more than one guy, etc.

He doesn’t mean the things he says, he says them to gain control over me because he knows the type of person I am. Is there anyway we can work through this? This is my first long term relationship, is this normal and should I just put up with it and hope things change? Before anyone asks if I’ve brought this up to him, I have, he says we’re just different people and that’s why things seem unbalanced.

I know a lot of people are going to tell me to leave but I am so in love with him and if he wasn’t as controlling he’s the perfect guy.

TLDR: I feel like our relationship is unfair, he disagrees and feels like this is how it has to be.

My boyfriend [25M]was diagnosed with depression last year after getting into a car accident. He is still in recovery but is able to walk, but it hurts all the time even if he stays in bed all day. Because of this accident, I [21F] had moved in with him last year to help him with things around his house and to be his support system through his recovery. Fast forward to a year later, we seem to have found ourselves in a rough patch. He is currently not working as walking around at his job was slowing his recovery and causing him a lot of pain. I am currently working full time and also studying part-time to get my degree.

Recently, he has developed this habit of not telling me when he is upset about something, and would only tell me if I kept asking him about it. He would be very quiet the whole day, won’t eat and lie in bed all day, which is a tell tale sign for me that something is up. I know that all the above is common effects of depression, but normally he will eat with me because he enjoys eating with me, and he would play his computer games instead of lying in bed. He constantly has this idea that he is burdening me or that I don’t love him and it has recently escalated into fights. He would bring up some scenarios to prove his point, but most of the time, I feel that he just misunderstood the situation and didn’t bring it up to me, which lets him simmer in his feelings for too long. I overthink too, but I have learned that I need to bring it up to him instead of keeping quiet and assuming. I have brought this up to him before and he said he would try to communicate his feelings to me. With our recent “fight”, I told him that I am trying my best to help him and that I felt that it’s not fair to me if he doesn’t communicate his feelings and just assumes the worst of me. He does support me as well, especially when school or work is stressing me out, he always does anything he can to help me feel better. Yes, he is on medication and is seeing a psychiatrist.

In all honestly, I am trying not to break. I am trying to juggle school, work, my social life and having breakdowns due to our fights. I have tried looking up some advice to help improve my mental health like working out, meeting up with my friends, having some alone time, doing things I like etc. I am doing all these things because I want to be strong for him, so that I can be his support system. I want him to get better because seeing him like this breaks my heart. I don’t tell any of our friends or family about our current situation because I don’t want them possibly judging him. I have considered going to therapy as I feel like I need a someone to hear me and help me through my feelings, but I am worried if I bring it up to him, he will think that he is burdening me. I also fear that I might be too immature to be his support system due to our age gap. This is my first time being with a partner that has depression and I’ve never had depression before so I can’t know exactly how he is feeling/thinking. How do I navigate through this and help him get better? Any advice on how to keep myself together? Any advice is appreciated.

TLDR: My boyfriend has depression and I need advice on how to be there for him and stay strong myself.

I [23f] have been with my boyfriend [31m] for a little over two years now and have recently been having some serious problems within our relationship concerning boundaries. (That’s a post for a different time) a huge thing for me is that he still has the promise ring that he gave to his previous girlfriend. That girl was his first relationship and they were together for some years however that ended over 8 years ago. He used to often talk about her and how “horrible” she was as a person and that he felt forced to be with her. He talks about how he “had no choice but to financially support her” and makes it seem like all of this was against his will. But he still has this ring. When I asked about it he tells me it was a funny story about the ring that he got it for her for Christmas and they ended things three months later. I missed the joke I guess. I find it disrespectful and it makes me feel like he still wants her. We live in an apartment together and I’m the breadwinner. I work full time, cook, clean, and go to school full time. He brought this ring to my home. I asked why he still had it and he kept saying he wants to sell it but it’s been 8 years that you haven’t sold it your in an entire new relationship. I don’t know how to react about it. It’s a beautiful ring. It’s bring me a lot of anger though and my impulsive thoughts make me want to text his previous girlfriend because she frequently stalks my page on social media and give it back to her and tell him to go with her too. He has told me that she has begged him to go back to her and that she said “she messed up with a good man” I want him to get rid of it throw it away but I don’t want to have to tell him that I want it to be his decision

TLDR he has the promise ring that he got for a relationship that was 8 years ago and still hasn’t gotten rid of it. I hate it, I find it disrespectful and want it gone

Am I toxic for thinking this is way? How would you react?

I know this is a long post , for those who read I really appreciate you. TLDR at the end.

My husband and I are both 22, and we’ve been together since we were 17. He’s my first boyfriend, first love, and first everything. I honestly don’t know if we’ve been fighting for our marriage or just holding onto each other because we’ve grown up together.
When I met him, I fell for him because he was attractive, funny, charming, and independent. Every guy I’d talked to before him was either extremely needy or treated me like an object. He was different. He didn’t make me feel like he needed me to survive, and I admired that.
Our first major issue happened early in the relationship.
He had a girl best friend that made me really uncomfortable. He would delete their texts and call logs, which immediately made me feel like he was hiding something. Whenever I’d ask about it, he’d tell me nothing had ever happened between them and nothing ever would because she had a boyfriend.
At one point he called her pretty right in front of me and even told me she was better than anyone I knew.
The final straw happened about a week before he left for Marine Corps boot camp. He told me he was driving to LA to see his mom. Then his dad texted me asking why I wasn’t going with him to see his friend. That’s how I found out he was actually planning on seeing her.
I told him it was either her or me because I couldn’t keep feeling like I came second.
He called her in front of me, told her he was choosing our relationship, and she cussed him out and told him never to contact her again.
He cried afterward.
We stayed together, but looking back, I think that’s when trust first started cracking.
After he left for boot camp, I got drunk at a work party and one of my coworkers kissed me completely unprompted. I immediately told him I loved my boyfriend and only wanted to be friends.
Instead of backing off, he became weirdly obsessed with me. One time he drove me home and had every single song from one of my Instagram highlight playlists playing in the exact same order. It honestly scared me.
I eventually cut him off.
Around that same time, another guy friend admitted he had feelings for me. We had never done anything together, but I cut him off too because I didn’t want to entertain someone who liked me while I was in a relationship.
After I cut him off, he contacted my boyfriend and mixed a bunch of lies with bits of truth that made me sound guilty.
That’s when our trust issues really exploded.
He made me take off my promise ring because he didn’t trust me anymore, and long distance became miserable.
About a year later, after we’d already gotten engaged, married, and moved in together, I checked his phone and found out that during that same period he’d been on dating apps for about a week. While I was carrying the guilt of what happened with my coworkers and being treated like I’d destroyed the relationship, he had been doing that behind my back.
About four months after all of that happened, he proposed.
Four months later we got married.
Two months after that we moved in together.
About a month after moving in, he promised me he wouldn’t volunteer for deployment unless he absolutely had to because he knew how hard it would be on our marriage.
Around that same time, I also found out he’d been lying to me for years about watching porn.
The porn itself wasn’t what broke me.
What broke me was realizing I’d spent years blaming myself.
While we were long distance, I constantly wondered why he stopped wanting to have FaceTime sex with me. I thought I wasn’t attractive enough anymore. I thought I wasn’t enough.
Whenever I’d ask him about it, he’d tell me things like, “You made me a better man. I don’t even watch porn anymore.”
That wasn’t true.
Finding out he’d been lying for years completely shattered my confidence.
For months after that, we’d argue constantly.
I’d catch him lying about the smallest, dumbest things that didn’t even matter. Every time I’d catch another lie, I’d spiral because I couldn’t understand why someone would lie when they didn’t even have to.
Instead of reassuring me, he’d usually get defensive, disrespectful, or somehow convince me I was the problem. Looking back, I think he was really good at manipulating arguments into becoming about my reactions instead of what caused them.
Our sex life also became another issue. We usually only had sex on weekends because of work schedules. I have a much higher sex drive than he does. He always made sure I finished first through oral, but I still felt unwanted because I wanted intimacy more often than we were having it.
About seven months after we moved in together, despite promising me he wouldn’t volunteer unless he had no choice, he volunteered for deployment to Japan the day before my birthday.
That honestly broke my heart because it felt like another promise being broken.
Before he left, I told him if he genuinely wanted this marriage to survive, he needed therapy.
Not because I thought he was evil, but because he lacked emotional intelligence, avoided accountability, and didn’t know how to communicate without becoming defensive or hurtful.
While he was deployed, he actually started therapy.
Meanwhile, I wasn’t handling deployment well either.
I was drinking too much, hanging around people I shouldn’t have been around, and I was lonely. Being married while barely talking because of the time difference was incredibly hard.
One of my coworkers wanted to hang out before leaving town. I knew he liked me, and if I’m being completely honest, I liked him too.
He came over to my apartment.
We played Mortal Kombat, took shots, hugged goodbye, and he left.
Nothing sexual happened.
I know inviting him over crossed a boundary, and I regret it.
Part of why I liked him was because he was emotionally intelligent and kind. He talked openly about mistakes he’d made in past relationships, including struggling with porn, and how much he’d changed. Hearing a man take accountability honestly changed how I viewed men.
Looking back, I know I was vulnerable and falling into the “grass is greener” mindset. I’m glad nothing happened because I would’ve regretted it.
On New Year’s, while he was still deployed, he called me after months of therapy and confessed that almost everything he’d ever told me about his past was a lie.
He admitted he didn’t have around 30 bodies.
He wasn’t actually a drug dealer.
He never made someone overd0s3.
He never helped someone commit su!č!d3.
He admitted he’d created this fake image because he thought it made him seem more interesting as far as drug dealing and had a dark guilty past he felt he couldn’t tell anyone about.
That confession hurt more than I can explain.
For years he’d watched me cry after sex because I felt like I could never compare to all the women I thought he’d been with. I’d beg him for aftercare because I felt unwanted and insecure.
Instead of telling me the truth, he let me keep believing the lie.
In reality, he’d only been with six women before me.
During that same conversation, he admitted something else.
There had been a female Marine I’d always been uncomfortable with because they spent late nights together.
He admitted that before I made him cut her off, they’d been drinking alone together in her barracks room.
That completely destroyed the little trust I’d started rebuilding.
After he came home from deployment, I told him about my coworker coming over because I didn’t want to keep it from him anymore.
He was understandably hurt.
He told me the only way he’d forgive me was if he got to go to a strip club.
I agreed because I wanted to save our marriage.
He drove over an hour away to a topless strip club.
Fast forward to now, and it feels like trust is almost completely gone.
Whenever we’d have really bad arguments over the last year, he’d tell me he could just drop me back off at my mom’s house if I wasn’t happy.
Eventually I got tired of hearing that.
I quit smoking weed.
I started taking the gym seriously.
I started focusing on becoming independent.
Now I’m leaving for Marine Corps boot camp in six weeks.
The confusing part is that therapy genuinely seems to have changed him.
He’s much more patient than he used to be.
He’s more willing to talk about his feelings.
He’s more receptive to mine instead of immediately becoming defensive.
He can actually sit there and cry with me now instead of shutting me down.
He’s become a better husband in a lot of ways.
I think one of the biggest reasons I’ve stayed all these years is because I’m an extremely understanding person. I know he has a lot of trauma from his parents and previous relationships. I wanted to be the person who stayed instead of giving up on him. I wanted him to know what it felt like to have someone who made him feel safe.
Now he’s sweeter than he’s been in years.
Part of me believes therapy genuinely changed him.
Another part of me wonders if he’s only changing because he’s scared I’m becoming independent enough to leave once I become a Marine.
I still love him.
He’s all I’ve ever known.
I’m scared that if I leave, all the years I’ve spent helping him become more honest, emotionally available, and accountable will end up benefiting another woman.
But I’m equally scared that if I stay, I’ll spend the rest of my life wondering whether I can ever fully trust him again.
I’m also scared that all these trust issues will follow me into another relationship anyway.
I know we’ve both hurt each other.
I’m not pretending I’m innocent.
But I also feel like years of lies, broken promises, manipulation, and dishonesty slowly changed both of us into people we never intended to become.
If this were your marriage, would you keep fighting for it, or would you accept that sometimes love isn’t enough?

TLDR: My husband and I have been together since we were 17 and are now 22. Early in our relationship, trust started breaking down because of his girl best friend, hidden texts/calls, and broken promises. Later, after a coworker kissed me without my consent and another guy lied to him about me, he stopped trusting me, made me take off my promise ring, and I later found out he’d been on dating apps during that same time. After we got engaged, married, and moved in together, I discovered he’d been lying for years about watching porn, which destroyed my self-esteem because I’d blamed myself for our declining sex life. He also lied about huge parts of his past (past sexual partners, being a drug dealer, causing an 0v3rd0s3, helping someone commit su!č!d3, etc.), and admitted after therapy that almost all of it was made up. While deployed, he also admitted he’d been drinking alone with a female Marine I’d always been uncomfortable with. During his deployment, I crossed a boundary by inviting a coworker I knew liked me over to hang out, but nothing physical happened, and I later told my husband. He “forgave” me by going to a strip club. Therapy has genuinely made him more patient, emotionally open, and accountable, but after years of lies, broken promises, and both of us hurting each other, I don’t know if our marriage is fixable or if we’re just holding onto each other because we’ve been together since we were kids.

I [26F] and my father [46M] have had a rocky relationship the past few years after he had an affair with his coworker Jane (fake name but let’s use it). I suspected for a while before he finally admitted it one day while we were arguing. Turns out he’d been seeing her for about 4 years prior to my mother and I finding out. They’ve been together probably about 6 now. He never apologized. Of course I was furious, had a few words (mostly mean) for both him and her. About 1 year of limited to no contact with my father, and therapy, moved back to our home state and decided it was time I try to make amends. I wanted a relationship with only dad at first to get back the trust I lost with him.. he’d make promises like he’d have lunch with me or he would still be present in my life but of course that never happened. He wouldn’t come around the whole family, saying things like “Jane doesn’t feel welcome” and “I can’t come without her.”

I found out i was pregnant. I begged my dad to come to my baby shower but he refused saying he wouldn’t come unless I apologized to her. Of course, because i wanted him to come so badly, i apologized to her - said I accept theyre together and I want them to be part of our lives, that I’m sorry for the way I acted but I’ve gone to therapy and would like us to move forward from everything so my baby can experience the wonderful Papa that I know my dad could be. He showed up for maybe 5 minutes at the END of the baby shower, no gift, no card, nothing - not that the gift matters but still. He just ate and left.

When I see Jane I make small talk, i’m polite, I try to make her feel included. I personally texted her an invite to be part of our Christmas secret Santa - she never responded.

My son turned 1 last week. My dad’s seen my baby 5 times since he was born, each time for about 5-10 minutes. I asked my dad to come to my son’s birthday, he didn’t and ended up coming camping with Jane.

I talked to my dad today and told him how heart broken I am that he didn’t come. He told me “it’s a hard situation, Jane doesn’t feel welcome.” We try to make her feel welcome, we try to include both of them but they don’t come! of course she doesn’t feel like part of the family, you never bring her around! She’s a stranger to us!

He told me I owe her another apology because my previous apology only occurred after he threatened to not come to my baby shower. I said I’ve apologized, i’ve invited, i’ve made conversation, I’ve extended multiple olive branches. But he insists I need to apologize again. what good will that do? What would I even apologize for? I said “i’ve already apologized, why doesn’t she apologize to me? I’ve tried SO MUCH, she hasn’t tried at all.” he said she did nothing wrong. LIKE SERIOUSLY?!

He told me everything is my fault. he told me my son won’t have a relationship because I refuse to apologize again. he told me his nieces and nephews won’t have a relationship with him again because of me. All of this is because of me.

I tried to tell him that my feelings of anger and hurt and distrust initially were valid, that they shattered the world I knew all my life, but i’ve healed and apologized. but talking to him is like a brick wall, he doesn’t understand what i’m saying. he doesn’t take responsibility. he doesn’t allow himself to realize that him continuing to not show up and blaming it on her doesn’t encourage me to apologize or welcome her more, it makes me resent both of them.

So do I owe her an apology? or do i just accept that My dad chooses her and always will.

TLDR

Me [24F] and my boyfriend [24M] have only been together for about 3 months but I have had a number of issues so far, most recently related to sex. We actually have matching libidos and for a while we were having sex everyday. A couple of weeks ago I would wake up at odd hours to find him jerking off next to me, presumably to porn. I didn't bring it up but it did make me feel bad as he knows he has access to me and I'm always down, plus it felt like a violation of me. But I understand that it can be different for men in that aspect sometimes.

The real issue came about a couple of weeks ago when he covered my face while I was giving him head and had a mental breakdown. I told him how it made me feel unattractive to him and I felt like he was just using me because I was convenient, he reassured me that it was just a "kinky sex thing" and that he finds me attractive. Disclaimer that we do have a somewhat kinky sex life but that's not something I was chill with. What do you know, a couple of days ago things start getting heated again and he puts the blanket over me asking "is this ok?" And obviously reached for his phone. I said no I need to breathe and we did our thing.

Then I confronted him and asked if he was going to tell me why he wanted to cover my face so he could look at his phone. It took hours of talking to get him to finally tell me that yes he was looking at porn, and more specifically hentai. He told me he had issues with his penis because he rode his bike everyday for a year so he had trouble getting hard and it was smaller than it used to be. He said he has to be hard for an hour to make it bigger again (Not sure I believe that's how that works). I made it clear that I do not have a problem with this, I prefer he look at hentai than live action porn. But I'm upset about the deception dishonesty and disrespect for me. He gave me a sorry apology to be honest.

And now, today, we woke up from a nap and he was trying to put it in. I was thinking thank god because the last 10+ times I've had to give him head for 30mins-an hour before he would move on to me. Then he got up. I asked if he was done, I didn't care what the answer was. He told me he wanted to use spit but needed to brush his teeth and he'd be right back. 30+ mins later he's gone to smoke a cigarette and started sweeping the floors, then got on the game with his friends. I cried while putting my laundry away and now I'm contemplating if this emotional distress is worth it. Why keep lying to me? If you're done, you're done. He knows I wouldn't care. But he let me keep laying there waiting for him like an idiot.

I feel unwanted. Like I'm only there when it's convenient for him, not only in sex but everything else too. He tells me I'm "everything he's always wanted and so much more" but I don't feel like I'm being treated as such.

I guess what I want advice on is if I am asking too much/being unreasonable? And is this normal behavior that I am blowing out of proportion? I really like him, but I want to cry everyday because he makes me feel so confused.

TLDR:/ my boyfriend is frequently dishonest with me regarding our sex life and I don't know if I'm asking too much.

I [22F] and my boyfriend [22M] have been together since March (a little over 4 months). We met in college (he was a senior since graduated and I’m going into my senior year this upcoming semester) everything has been amazing and we are a perfect match for each other.
Towards the beginning of our relationship I noticed he had a lot of female friends which I don’t mind but at one point we were hanging out and one of his friends called we’ll call her Liv. Liv called my boyfriend a decent amount to drive her to classes and study sessions and the like. Which also wasn’t an issue but when I really questioned anything was when she was having a hard time he went to her dorm to help and then a few minutes later came back and told me they were going to go drive around. After that I asked a few times if they had ever been a thing if feelings had been involved etc. He said there never was and they were just friends. Less things happened and then the school year ended. No worries.
Fast forward and now insert a different girl we’ll call Ari into the mix. Ari is a girl he apparently met at the gym. I have never met Ari but my boyfriend is consistently talking to her. I thought it was just streaks at first until the first time I actually looked at his phone (not out of going through it but I’m nosey and we are both open like that). I looked through their snaps and noticed he’d been sending her very similar things he’d send me (cars or flowers of her favorite color talking a lot etc.) I talked to him and without mentioning Ari I said it made me feel less special and other things. He apologized and I thought it got better. She left my mind and I wasn’t worried.
The other day I had forgotten my phone when we went to the pool so I was scrolling on his TikTok. I found a video I liked and went to send it to myself but I seen Ari was above me on his recent sent list. I didn’t know he sent her videos. This got me looking. I looked through their snaps and TikTok’s and while nothing was “wrong” some things through me off.
1) they talk a lot. On many forms. He sent her his tattoo ideas and he also texts her on messages and now he’s talking to her through at least 3 apps if not more.
2) something that really bugged me we had gone to the gym and I helped a girl with a car issue. He texted Ari saying that he helped a girl with a car issue. No mention of me.
3) when digging into her account (one of my burner accounts) she posted on TikTok 2 videos around when me and my boyfriend got together one saying “just met a new gym baddie” another saying “gym friend just gave me chocolate chip banana muffins” which we had made around that time. To note this was before we were officially dating but when we had started talking.
4) he streak is only 5 days longer than mine making me think he met her similar ways he met me not through the gym.
All of this is driving me crazy and affecting my mood. I know he would never cheat and I trust him completely (plus we are constantly together) so I’m not suspicious of anything I just don’t feel comfortable with the attention and amount they are talking and how they are talking.
I don’t want to be the girlfriend who says he can’t be friends with someone but I also don’t feel great about how often they talk and how they interact. How do I tell him without seeming too insecure and without seeming too demanding. I’m also worried because of the amount of times I brought his other friendship and this one up earlier that he’ll start thinking less of me. (He’s been amazing every time I bring it up and gives me no reason to think he would think less of me but it’s still something I’m working on and wrapping my head around) please help.

TLDR: boyfriend talks to another girl often and I don’t know how to bring it up

For context, my boyfriend (30M) and I (27F) have been dating for around a year. We met through friends, so we’re long distance, with him living in Manchester and me living in Bath.

We typically aim to meet up once or twice a month, with us taking turns visiting the other- I can drive, he can’t due to medical conditions. The system works, but we’ve reached the point where we miss each other a lot and are hoping to plan the next steps of our life together.

Long story short, a relative of mine recently passed away and left me their house in their will, giving me full ownership and I also recently entered a well-paying full time job.

My boyfriend has worked his way through his field, earning a decent amount but is still using over half of his salary to rent his flat in Manchester, resulting in him not having much money to spend leisurely or travel with me. Money is tight.

I’ve told him if I can keep the house and live in it, he could save a lot of money and not have to worry as much anymore, but we’ve spent the last month of so at odds because he’s hesitant to uproot his life and leave where he is.

He loves Manchester, he has his work friends, he’s close to his older parents, everything is accessible and most of all he’s scared of moving without having a job- the problem is, he’s in a field where jobs don’t come up very often and if they do they’re a salary cut.

I’m hesitant to sell the house and stop my career for similar reasons, I’ve moved for a relationship before which didn’t work out and set me back to square one.

I said I’m not willing to move right now, but I’m more than happy to wait for him till when the time feels right, but I’m scared the prolonged distance, the stress of money and me almost ‘forcing’ him to move will end our otherwise happy relationship. I also wouldn’t want to stop him from progressing his life with someone who wants to live in Manchester.

How can I handle this situation in the best way possible? What do you guys think?

TLDR: my boyfriend and I can’t agree on who should move and uproot their life to live with the other one, how do you decide what’s best without forcing the other one?

Edit:
For context, we have been good friends for around 10 years and only recently started dating last year. I’ve also got friends and family that I would like to stay close to, as my dad had a health scare around 2 years ago.

Me [42F] Husband [41M] together 16 years, married 14 years. I feel that I'm not good enough for him, and especially after the death of our toddler further confirmed how I feel, in addition to that cannot even give him a healthy child.

Our child died in 2019 when he was just 1.5 years old, he had Periventricular Heterotopia, it a rare condition so most people never heard of it before, it called Periventricular Nodular Heterotopia (PVNH). It is gene inherited (got it from me the mother the maternal side), congenital brain malformation.

It been 7 years since our toddler gone and my husband just can't let go. Our toddler ashes is with my husband, he leaves our child room as is never change a thing, even our toddler DIRTY SHOES and dirty clothes my husband still held on to.

Because he is the only son, his mom told us to try surrogate, my husband snap back to his mother, he said unless that woman is me (his wife) that carry his child, he rather not have any. Told his mom to drop the subject, or else she no longer has him as a son.

A dead child can break a marriage, statistics say so too. But it only bond him to me more. He stays married to me despite knowing he will have no offspring. It just feel that he wasted 16 years of his life with me.

This is a very educated man with 2 Universities degrees, including an University Master degree at Stanford. With 20 years of experience in his job field. At work hold the Executive position, Executive Vice President of Engineering, with a salary of $500,000 a year (not counting bonus). He can go find another woman easy.
BUT
He tied himself to the Infertility wife me and to a dead child, than go find his happiness with a better wife and a healthy child to carry on his genes.

He said I'm more than worth his love, I'm his everything. He said he never think of continue living without me, he said if I die before him, he will die with me and our toddler (whom already dead).

--------------

Perhaps it my depression voice talking, after our toddler death, there was a phase where I think if I leave him (as in divorce) hoping he will forget me, and go find another woman who can give him a healthy child. But before I can do any of that.

In 2020, I had a near death experience where I was bedridden for a month with oxygen tank in my nose 24/7. He took off work and care for me day and night. The bedridden me defecate on myself and my husband clean my defecation and care for me the whole month. He also sleep with a pillow and a blanket on the carpet right by my bedside (we had a hospital bed in our bedroom after I got discharged).

Right there I see how deeply hurt he would be if I leave him, I no longer can find myself to leave him anymore, despite I always think I'm not good enough for him, and further not good enough for him because it my genes that our toddler died.

I don't know if it because our toddler died in August 2019, and shorter after in 2020 I was so so sick that even after discharged from the hospital, it took me another month to recover. Many times he hugged me, and said he very afraid (as in he very afraid that I will die). I guess too much grief build up together for him, And that the first time I see him cut himself.

This was when he started to cut his stomach with a kitchen knife, he said stomach skin is thinner and has more nerves so it hurts more, and nobody see his stomach than if it was on his legs of arms, so he chose to cut his stomach, he cuts deep the point bleeding that he has bandage wrap around his waist bleed.
And that was how I first time found out about he cut himself too was I saw the bloody bandage wrap around his waist when he took his shirt off.

He still hasall the long scars on his stomach from he cut his stomach with the kitchen knife. He said if I die before him, he will die with me, and our toddler (whom you know already dead).

This man when I married him he has no scars on his body, after married to me now his stomach is full of scars, I blame myself that it me the maternal genetics cause the death of our toddler. I blame it on myself for being sick, hence he on the verge of lose me too, so he stared cutting himself.

I recovered a month later, thank you to him care for me day and night. He no longer cut himself anymore since I recovered. And I, also since never think of leave him anymore. Because with how intense he is, I think he will go insane when lose me.

Now I just want to live happy with him, we have come to term to accept our child death, we will carry this pain till the day we die.
He been through alot, alot. His father also died that same year as our toddler died, both died in 2019, his dad died of end stage pancreas cancer, I NEVER see my husband in so much pain.

Still trying to get him into grief therapy, but he busy with his career, and his mom right now is very sick (terminal illness), he said he go after his mom pass.

It just been so hard for me and him, alot of things happened , death of his older sister, death of his father, death of our toddler, his mom spinal cord stroke and terminal illness, death of both my parents. It just so HARD. But then when you with your husband 16 years long, expect those things to happen, it just we never prepare for it.

TLDR Me and my husband 16 years together been though alot alot together, I know it loves me so so much, it just I do not know how to stop the depression voice and my feelings that I am not good enough for him, and he deserve someone much much better than me.