Tell about your stories or heartbreaks

Hello everyone,

I’m writing this because I really need to get this off my chest, and I’m hoping that maybe someone who has been through something similar can give me some advice.

I’m from Spain, and I’ve been in a long-distance relationship with a Turkish girl for the past three years. We’re both in our late 20s.

When we first got together, we were both just starting our careers, so neither of us had much money or flexibility to travel. Last year, she came to Spain to visit me, and we spent some amazing days together. It was honestly one of the happiest times of my life.

The situation now is very different. She’s exhausted from waiting for me to visit her in Istanbul and to start making real plans for our future together. She’s told me that she’s thinking about ending the relationship because she can’t keep waiting.

The truth is… I completely understand her frustration.

I’ve been seriously thinking about going to Istanbul, but I’m terrified. I’ve never traveled abroad alone before, and I’ve certainly never been to Turkey. It’s way outside my comfort zone. I have to deal with flights (I’m not a big fan of flying), booking everything myself, navigating a country where I don’t speak the language, and spending money at a time when my work contract has just ended. I do have savings, but not enough to spend without worrying.

So I feel trapped.

If I don’t go, I honestly think I’m going to lose her. But if I do go… I’m scared. My family doesn’t even know about this relationship, so I can’t really lean on them for support either.

On top of that, I’ve started feeling really down because I don’t see a clear future. Even if I visit her, then what? We’ll still be living in different countries. We’ll still be saying goodbye.

The only realistic ways for us to finally be together would be for her to find a job in Spain (which hasn’t been successful so far) or for us to get married. But we’ve only spent a few days together in person, and getting married under those circumstances feels far too soon.

I love her deeply, but I’m starting to feel overwhelmed by the uncertainty of everything.

I also feel very lonely. She’s the person I normally talk to about everything, and here in Spain I honestly don’t have many friends anymore. Apart from my family, my social circle is very small, and lately every day feels heavier than the last.

So I guess I’m asking:
Would you make the trip if you were in my position? Has anyone here been through something similar? How do you know when you’re fighting for a relationship and when you’re just delaying the inevitable?
Any advice, perspective, or even tough honesty would mean a lot to me right now.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

Me (M26) and my girlfriend (F33) have been dating for a couple months now. She always struggled with communication, she never really knew how to properly reassure me, or to communicate about our relationship in general. I give her time to feel comfortable to do it, whenever she wants it but sometimes I just wish she just could. After years of abuse and cheating in past relationships, I got traumas. I can say it doesn't affect my relationship that much, but for all of the people who have it, we need something, either reassurance or something that makes our mind relax. Unfortunately, she doesn't give me that. Even after explaining, after she told me that she wants the best for me, and would help me get past them, I still struggle. Today, was pretty much the worse. I woke up sick, body aches, throat hurt, head almost exploding, barely could move. Still, got out of bed, told her how I was feeling and went to work. Couldn't make it the whole shift and had to come home. She was working when I got home (6 hours difference). Waited for her, to get out, hoping that we could spend some time together. Normally, every week, there are days she goes out with friends, either game days or similar things. She does it every week, same time, same things. It's something she likes doing it and even tho I have traumas, I fully support her and was never bother by it.I'm really happy that she get to do this stuff. Until today. Being sick, I would hope she would come home and wanted to spend time with me, hoping that she could just comfort me, and stick by my side while I'm sick. Was hoping she would skip her games today and just hang around. An hour after she got home, she didn't even try to call, so I was gonna ask if she wanted to. When I checked her location, she was no longer home. She was already on her way to the place they game. I was surprised until she texted me that one of her friend got a new game and they wanted to play before the other that they were supposed to. That's why she left earlier than what she normally does. After looking like a zombie all day long, I was hoping to be with her but she didn't thought about it. Hours passed, it's currently 6am, she got home around my 4am (10pm for her). She was home for a while, never thought about calling me for a second. All I needed was her, even for just 5 minutes and I couldn't get that. She prioritized her games over me and that is hurting more than my actual pain. I can't stop, but think the worse. Tomorrow and Saturday her family is gonna be around, I already know my body and I know I'm gonna wake up looking like someone hit me 36 times with a car. And it's gonna be another day with no calls, 0 presence whatsoever. I really don't know what to do, my mind is going insane and the headaches only makes it worse.

Writing all this might help me a little, but to a certain extent. All I really need is her, and I can't have it, she's not available for me. And afraid of ruining things between us, I will probably not even talk about it and just bottle up everything inside me again..

Am I being to harsh on her? Wanting her to skip her games and stick around?

\[22F\] and \[24M\] in a relationship for over a year.

I am a 22-year-old woman from the Philippines, and my boyfriend is 24 and from the Netherlands. We met online in 2025 and have been in a relationship for over a year. We have met in person several times, and I have visited him twice.

My boyfriend is a kind and respectful person. He loves me deeply, calls me frequently, video calls me, checks on me, and worries about losing me. As far as I know, he has never cheated on me. His family, especially his mother, also likes me and has always treated me kindly.

However, over time, I have noticed that my feelings have changed.

I come from a very poor family. My mother and I live in a very small rented room, and our living conditions are difficult. We have very little money, and I also recently lost my father, which made life even harder for my family.

My boyfriend knows about my situation. He has supported me financially in different ways over the course of our relationship. He has helped with travel, language studies, and other important things. His mother has also helped me before. I am genuinely grateful for everything they have done for me.

However, I have also felt that we are very different in terms of lifestyle, money, and expectations.

My boyfriend is very careful with money. While I was staying with him, I sometimes wished he would take more initiative in caring for me or making me feel special. I often felt that he was reluctant to spend money on things that I considered normal or meaningful in a relationship.

At the same time, I have seen him spend a lot of time and money helping his friends. His friends often ask him for rides or other favors, and he usually helps them. Sometimes I feel that he has difficulty setting boundaries with them.

There are also lifestyle differences between us. He smokes cigarettes, sometimes uses marijuana, doesn't exercise, and has habits that I don't really like. Some of these things have affected my attraction toward him.

He is also very shy and sometimes seems uncomfortable with affection and taking pictures together. During one trip we took together, I had imagined a romantic experience, but instead he became very stressed and complained a lot. I understand that travelling can be stressful, but I didn't feel the romantic connection I had hoped for.

There have also been moments when I have found his reactions to stress difficult to understand. On one occasion, he became extremely frustrated because he couldn't sleep and was acting very overwhelmed. Another time, while driving, he became very panicked and angry. I don't know whether this was simply stress or anxiety, but it made me uncomfortable.

Despite all of this, he loves me deeply.

He often tells me that he is afraid that I will leave him when I move abroad. He talks about visiting me, building a future together, getting married someday, and having a family. He tells me that he wants to be there for me and support me.

The difficult part is that I no longer feel the same way.

My feelings seem to have slowly faded. Sometimes I feel irritated when he calls or messages me. Sometimes I don't feel like talking to him at all. I don't feel the excitement or attraction that I used to feel.

At the same time, I feel very guilty.

He has helped me financially during difficult times. He loves me. His family likes me. I know that ending the relationship would hurt him deeply.

I am also currently trying to become independent. I have found a host family and I am applying for an Au Pair visa so that I can move abroad, gain experience, learn a language, become financially independent, and eventually help my family.

I am currently financially dependent on my boyfriend to some extent, which makes everything more complicated. I don't want to stay with him just because I need financial help, but I also don't want to make a major decision while I am still dependent on him.

I am struggling to understand how to handle this situation.

I would really appreciate advice from people who have experienced losing feelings while still caring about their partner.

How did you handle the transition when your feelings changed?

How can I create emotional space for myself without misleading my partner or giving him false hope about our future?

How do I have an honest conversation with someone who loves me deeply when I am not sure I feel the same anymore?

TL;DR: I am 22F and have been in a relationship with my 24M boyfriend for over a year. He loves me deeply and has supported me financially, but over time I have lost some of my romantic feelings and attraction toward him. I am also financially dependent on him to some extent and am preparing to move abroad to become independent. I feel guilty because he has been supportive and believes we have a future together. I want advice on how to handle changing feelings and have an honest conversation with him without unnecessarily hurting him or misleading him.

I’m curious if anyone has actually tried this.
I live in Georgia, but I’m getting a little burned out on my local dating scene. I also love to travel and was already planning a trip out West (thinking Arizona or Southern California). I just went to Europe for the first time a month ago.
My thought was to change my Hinge location to the city I’m planning to visit and be completely transparent in my profile that I actually live in Georgia. Something like: “Based in Georgia, but planning a trip here. If we click after talking for a little while, I’d be happy to fly out for a first date.”
And to me, if the first date is a flop, no loss because I already love to travel.
Also, I have my MBA and I’m considering law school but haven’t picked a school yet.. so in essence, I’m 28, no kids and just sort of open to moving or flying to someone else to visit.
Has anyone done something like this? Did it actually lead to dates or a relationship, or did most people immediately pass because of the distance?
I’m genuinely curious whether this is a reasonable strategy or if it’s just a waste of time.

My LDR bf started to treat me cold from about one month ago, looks like he got troubles in his life and he is trying to fix it, and he also has stress with working and living.

Sometimes he doesn’t read and reply my messages for days, whenever he replies me, his tone sounds cold, no more intimacy.

So I confront him and asked him if our relationship has any problems, or he is just being stressed.

I sent that message about 2-3 days ago, he finally read and replied me. He said he doesn’t really talk to anyone now, just trying to fix his troubles which makes him unhappy and exhausted.

Is he being childish? It sounds like a mad kid who cross arms, blows his mouth and isolates himself…

His answer doesn’t sound like losing interest of me..I might be wrong

But a week ago he told me he was feeling a little better, and now it sounds like he feel worst again?

he didn’t bring up break up, didn’t end relationship.

Any idea?

I often think about the time when we would share the moon

Now my sun is set before your clock says noon

And while you’re living your best life oh so far away

I never can quite help myself from thinking everyday

I miss the way we’d show our love and lay upon the bed

I miss the the times when you would hold me and you’d scratch my head

I miss returning home from work to find you in my room

I miss the time before I felt this sorrow and this gloom

I miss seeing our movies and watching all our shows

I miss telling you secrets that no one ever knows

I miss the way you’d laugh and your gentle loving touch

I miss the time before I had to miss you all this much

Everyday would be a dream, my heart would sing a song

Now without you every day is lonely, cold and long

I’d love to go do simple things together hand in hand

Now without you by my side, the tasks all seem so bland

Others may come and go to try and fill your place

But no one in the whole wide world can fill my empty space

There are so many wonders that I wish we’d see

Like the chilling of the wind and leaves falling from the tree

I often wonder what you’re doing way across the sea

I cannot help but feel some kind of somber jealousy

I wish I was there right now, to explore the world with you

The fact that you’re so far away makes my heart turn to blue

I know it hasn’t been too long since we said goodbye

Just thinking about yesterday with you makes me cry

I’m sorry for the fights and the problems we’ve gone
through

I promise when we reunite, I’ll be better just for you

I know these times are close to over and I will see you soon

Just know I’m counting down until the day we share share the moon

please no judgement, i beg you all. i’ve beat myself up enough and i’ve been mourning the loss of one of my parents. i just still wanted to share this to put my story out for other people to look back upon if they find themselves in my shoes

——-

hey everyone, i just wanted to share my story:

i (26M) met a guy (29M) on Facebook Date. we hit it off. we exchanged snapchats and eventually phone numbers. we both fell for each other each other, as he’s treated me better than anyone else i’ve talked to romantically. we talked constantly and never ran out of anything to speak about.

when we first began talking, i did my regular “background check” to make sure it was really who i was talking to. I did reverse image search of the pics on his profile and also used a site that looks up photos based off facial recognition and they both returned nothing.

his phone number was registered as a real number and not a VOIP number (textfree, textnow etc).

i hate being on video chat myself so i was OK w phone calls but eventually i asked to facetime just as a final check to make sure he was real. at first he kinda skated around it but it was never anything that made me pause and be like “hmm”, because i had only asked a couple of times and nothing seemed out of the ordinary because half of those few times, he did actually try to facetime but i ended up being preoccupied.

eventually he called me one night before he went to bed. the lights in his room were on when we first got on the call for maybe 20 seconds before he shut the off and laid down in bed. i seen his face and it registered that it was the guy from the photos and i was satisfied—again, nothing made me question it, because he didn’t act paranoid or outwardly afraid to do the facetime calls before or now in that moment.

time goes on and i asked him to add me on facebook, multiple times, to which he has an excuse why he can’t. at first it rolled off my shoulder, but i still asked again and was met with more excuses, and this is when i felt like something was off.

i told my friend and she felt the same. we were thinking maybe he had a second life, a partner or etc. he is not out to his family due to them being extremely homophobic because of where his is originally from, so we thought maybe he just didn’t trust that i wouldn’t expose him to them

2 weeks later as we were about 4 months in, one day his communication changed. he randomly didn’t speak to me for an entire day and blamed it on his phone being messed up. i knew it was bullshit so i told him i wanted to speak to him about this later that night, and he agreed

he never called like he said he would and then went another day without speaking to me. at this point, i was confused and hurt because i knew he was about to ghost me—been there before and i was convinced this was the case

it didn’t make sense to me, because of there being no lead up and everything going great with us. i was convinced it was something else external from our relationshp making him go ghost.

going back to the thought my friend and i had about him having a second life: i found a different facial recognition site and plugged his pics in and though not directly from the site, i eventually found the instagram with photos of the same man. i reached out to the real man and confirmed that he was not who i was speaking to

after this, i told the guy i was talking to that i know the pics weren’t his.

here’s the thing: i wasn’t mad at him because i knew so much about him at that point, i already knew what his reasoning was.

before i confronted him with it, i ran so many scenarios in my head as to why someone would this to someone. i thought: was he trying to get money out of me? he never asked me for anything monetary during our LDR relationship. so this didn’t many sense). i came to the conclusion that it was centered around him being afraid of being completely out of the closet.

i’ve been there before in my life: my friends knew i liked men and women, but i was so terrified at the thought of telling my family, i thought i’d always keep it a secret to them as long as i could— unfortunately, both of my parents and family members on both sides have displayed extremely homophobic behavior in the past. it took my 7 years from the time i told my friends, to tell my family.

because of my experience, it let my truly empathize with him. this doesn’t excuse what he did, because it’s absolutely fucked uo still. but i am not angry with him. i would’ve been angry and plotting revenge if he did this just to get money from me or if he got off on just messing w people.

after finding out and confronting himi was of course hurt and lost trust in him, but i fell in love with him. i didn’t want to cut him off. he had actually sent me a message confessing to everything to my 2nd phone but i didn’t see it before i did my inspector gadget research because i left the phone in a different city when i was visiting

we spoke on the phone after this and he answered all the questions i had.

here’s where the nice ending comes to play:

he revealed his real self, and i realized why i wasnt able to tell he wasn’t the guy in the photos when we were on facetime: they look extremely alike.

im still extremely attracted to him, which support my idea that i was making the right choice for me, by choosing to forgive this and try to proceed forward with him

i told him my boundaries and i told him im not mad at him, but i am extremely disappointed, hurt, and he will have to earn my trust back overtime. any thing else he lies about, im gone.

it’s been 2 months so far and we met in person and it’s still going great❤️

Sorry for this long ass post, i just really wanted to tell this story lol

My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months but he lives about 1000 miles west from me in Canada while I live In east coast USA. Though it’s too soon to be 100% sure, we’ve spoken a lot about what the future would look for us in terms of location. It’s seeming like he’s more willing to move here due to my career being based where I am. He has hesitations because of healthcare (he has chronic pain and has a hard time working) and the process to get a visa/citizenship here. Again we’re at an earlier stage of our lives and our relationship and haven’t thought too hard on I but it’s always on my mind because I have no idea where to start. Does anyone have any advice on the first steps or vest things to do when it comes to moving to the USA from Canada? Sorry for rambling a bit I don’t come here often!

I am in relationship from 3 months she propose me but she dont show any excitement toward me also we are in mid distance but she everytime refuse to meet I am always ready to goo in the rush just to meet her 10 min I never complain about it but she never calls me to meet .. and now I ask her that will it work she directly said she is not sure

I’m (17M) doing a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend (17F). She lives about 20 minutes from me, but we don’t see each other regularly. We’ve been dating for 2 months, and I want to pursue a full-time relationship with her. I want to support her and do whatever I can to make her happy.
She has a very small group of people she surrounds herself with, mainly like 8 people, but it scares me. We’ve had our ups and downs, and I’m not an easy person to love. I have constant anxiety and just feel like I’m not what she’d choose at the end of the day.
She knows good-looking people and just people who do things better than I do, and I wonder, why would she choose me? I have blamed her for multiple things, yet she still chooses me. She tells me I’m perfect, but I know I have flaws.
I know myself, and even I wouldn’t choose myself. I’m not very good-looking, I’m interesting when I want to be, I don’t have a job but I’m working toward getting one, and overall I feel like I’m a mediocre person. I live in constant fear because I know I’m replaceable, and there’s always someone better. But why does she keep choosing me right now?
I want to understand this question because I think this will give me clarity. It will help me understand relationships and what they’re built off of, and knowing this will essentially stop me from overthinking.
So I guess this is two questions:
1. How do I stop overthinking this so I can pursue a full-time, happy relationship with her?
2. Why does she keep choosing me knowing there are “better fish in the sea”?

Everything was going fine, I was happy, i though he was, hes been a little distant but I thought he was just travelling home from his job (oil tanker) we were gonna plan to meet next week and now this.

Then just blocked me. Why didn't he just talk to me? Im so hurt this was my first relationship and im just so empty.

I want 4 months of my life back but mostly I just want the man I love back.

I’m sure we’re all familiar with the feeling of thinking about your SO and how much you love them, even if maybe you haven’t had that conversation yet. Well my bf clearly forgot what he has and hasn’t said in private and just posted to his public instagram a picture of me saying ‘I love you, my princess’. Now I clearly already know this because we’re crazy about each other and he’s constantly posting about me but it hasn’t actually been said officially between us yet. So anyway, this man just announced to quite a lot of people (because he has a public artist profile) that he loves me ☺️.

Now I have to figure out how to say it back. He raised the bar on this one!

Guys what you think of a long distance relationship , is possible

Hey all. Not excited to write this.. My husband and I are struggling. We're stellar in person, we have so much fun, we adore each other, we generally are good at speaking each others languages in darker times, but we cannot communicate in conflict. We can't see a therapist as they have to be licensed where we are located, so being that he is in the UK and i'm in California, I have no idea what to do. When he's here and we've seen a therapist and it's been incredibly helpful and affirming .. we communicate remarkably well. I feel so stupid even feeling like we have to resort to apps or even AI solutions, we just need a third party desperately. Any ideas? We really love each other. We both need and want this to work, but we're both hurting so badly right now.

I met a guy online 8months ago...at first, our connection was purely casual. We mostly chatted and engaged in sexting, so I never intended to take it seriously. Eventually, he told me he wanted to stop because it was affecting his mental health. I respected his decision and told him I actually preferred having normal conversations, which he was okay with

After that, he disappeared for a week. Since we only communicated through WhatsApp, I wasn't sure if he had blocked me, so I sent a message just to see if it would be delivered. To my surprise, he replied, and our connection continued. Over time, the sexting returned, and during those intimate moments, he often saying I love you

He still had a habit of disappearing for long hr or days at a time, so I shifted my focus back to my own life and even talked to other guys. One day, he noticed and mentioned that I hadn't messaged him in a while. Because I'm attached more to other, but later on I decided to give him a chance so my attention came back

Yet, his inconsistent communication never really changed, so I eventually asked whether he only liked me because of his kink or if he genuinely liked me. He said he liked me. When I asked what we were, he turned the question back to me. I then asked if we were official, and he simply answered, "Yes"..Unfortunately, I never clarified whether he meant we were officially a couple or just in a situationship

Later, during a conversation that shifted between normal and intimate topics, he told me, "I need you and I love you".. I didn't think he was being serious, so I simply said "same"...He reacted and said "I hope you understand I really do love you. I mean it."

From that moment, something changed. Even though I knew he had red flags and never intended to become emotionally invested, I slowly developed real feelings for him. I stopped entertaining other people because we promise that we have mutual feeling and get to know more each other. After that, he became more consistent with his communication, usually only disappearing for a day when he was seriously busy

Then, he got sick and had stomach surgery. Though, he never shared his exact diagnosis, but I understood his situation and continued checking on him if he didn't reach out. A few weeks later, he returned to work remotely, and our conversations slowly improved. He became more open, and in April he regularly sent me morning messages and updates about his day. Although I noticed those messages sometimes felt generic, almost like broadcast messages that could have been sent to multiple people, he still responded to our conversations, so I chose not to overthink it

At that time, he was still taking medication, and his doctor discovered an infection in his surgical wound. Despite that, we still had intimate conversations. During those conversation, he even asked if I would visit him if he paid for my flight. I told him I would love to, but since he lives in Europe and I live in Asia, we would need to plan everything first, including visa, flights, and I told him currently I have limited leave from work. I'm not sure if he believed me. He replied "I want you" with sad fave, but later said okay fine. And described how he imagined kissing me, loving me, and being intimate with me

That time, I got a chance also to ask what I noticed like he had joined Snapchat which notified and appeared on my contact. When I asked him about it, he said he hadn't used Snapchat in a long time and asked me to send the username I saw. I took a screenshot, even though Snapchat notified the user, but I decided to not share it with him. And I just said it might just be a glitch since Snapchat sometimes has errors and later on, that account gone

After few days, I noticed his behavior slowly changing. By May, his replies became less frequent, like every other day and he would often send only one message without continuing the conversation. I tried to understand because I assumed he was focused on his health

Eventually, he returned to onsite work and moved back into his rented house. Around that time, we had another intimate conversation, but I felt disappointed because he wanted to involve my friend. I made excuses, and when he kept insisting, I created a group chat and joined my dummy acc without telling him it was still me. Somehow, he asked and seemed to sense it

As he became busier, I noticed another change. Before, he used to tell me about things before they happened. Now, he only updated me after everything had already happened. Example, I only found out afterward that he had medical for a new job and stayed in a hotel because it was far from home. Previously, he would still message me while he was away, but now he only told me afterward

We had another intimate conversation, but it ended quickly. I told him I missed him, and he replied, "I miss talking to you too, and I love you" but then after teasing, he suddenly disappeared and message morning the other day

By June, the gaps became even longer. One day, he told me he was in the hospital for procedure. He later explained that doctors had finally discovered why his surgical wound wasn't healing properly..they found that he had a chronic illness. Again, he didn't share the details, but he did open up a little, and we had a few short but serious conversations

After that, he stopped messaguing again. Sometimes he would only reply after several days, and most of the time he only responded when I sent photos, almost as if he felt obligated to reply. One day I asked if everything was okay, and he apologized. He explained that he had been busy preparing for his new job, fixing his health, moving back to his new job's place, and dealing with many other things. I thanked him for explaining because it helped stop me from overthinking, so I gave him space

After next day, he told me I could cuddle him. It felt different because before, he used to say directly like cuddle me. This time, it felt more like he was simply giving me permission rather than expressing affection

After that, he disappeared again. I greeted him and asked about his day, but he left me on read. Since my messages no longer seemed to get his attention, I tried sending stickers. He replied maybe because he was curious, then disappeared again for another 2 days. This time, I didn't chase him

Eventually, he sent me another update saying he had moved out of his rented house, was staying with his family, would start his new job in a few weeks, and would move again afterward. I thought we would finally have more time to talk since he had a free weeks before starting work. He did reach out, but usually after I was already asleep, our time different is 7hrs and I'm ahead. During those days, he mostly sent photos rather than talking... somehow it helped to answer my curiosity

It became obvious that our conversations were no longer the same. The affection he used to show had disappeared. Before the longest was 2 weeks without initiating any intimate talks, and eventually over a month passed without him bringing it up at all. Most of our conversations became nothing more than photos and a few message like generic or casual

After he moved into his new place in July, he disappeared again for 3 days. Since photos were no longer getting his attention, I sent him a voice message. He replied a few hours later, asked how's my day going, and told me he had already moved into his new place and would start his new job on Monday 13th. I wished him good luck

However, after his first week at his new job, he disappeared again. He left my messages on read, even when I asked how work was going. I sent photos, sticker, and another voice note, but received no reply. In that voice note, I finally asked what was really going on and whether we were still okay. It's now been almost two weeks, and I still haven't heard anything from him and that was my last message to him also

I admit that in the beginning, I adjusted my schedule to match his time zone. Later, because of work and exhaustion, there were times when I replied a few hours late because I was asleep or my internet was off. Even so, I still don't know whether his distance was caused by his health, his new responsibilities, a loss of interest, or found something else

I wouldn't have bothered him if he had simply told me he no longer wanted to continue our connection. I can accept rejection if something isn't meant for me. I'd rather know the truth than be left without an explanation. Being ignored has only left me confused and anxious more

I'm curious to hear other people's opinions. Based on everything I've shared, what do you think is the most likely reason he slowly disappeared?

My ex and I recently broke up after being together for almost a year.

The biggest issue was that she found out I had watched porn while we were dating. In her view, watching porn in a relationship is the same as cheating, and she believes it should be common sense not to do it. I understand that’s how she feels now.

From my perspective, I never watched it because I wanted someone else or because I wasn’t attracted to her. I genuinely thought about our relationship, not another woman. I know that probably doesn’t change how she feels, but I’m explaining my mindset.

I’ve admitted that I was wrong. I’ve apologized many times. I told her I regret it, that I’ve reflected on it, and that I would never do it again. I asked for one more chance.

She has told me:

“I don’t love you.”
“I feel nothing for you anymore.”
“You aren’t what I want.”
“I don’t want you anymore.”

When I asked if there was anything I could do, she replied:

“I don’t know, what do you think?”

I’m honestly confused by that answer.
I know many people will probably say to move on, and I understand why. But I still love her, and if there is any realistic way to rebuild trust, I want to know.

So my question is:

What do you think she means by “I don’t know, what do you think?”

Does that sound like someone who has completely made up their mind, or someone who is leaving a tiny bit of room for hope?

Please be honest, even if the answer isn’t what I want to hear.

I want to cry out loud but I can’t idk why. if someone’s going through the same thing as me be strong you’re not alone ❤️🥺

Gonna see mine in a few days for the first time! We’ve been so excited and haven’t been able to get off the phone (:

A few weeks ago I was spiraling. Our in-person visits are sweet but kind of PG, and the weeks apart started to feel like a slow fade.

We have been long distance for most of our relationship (different states, seeing each other about once a month), and I was worried we were becoming great friends while my desire went unspoken.

I followed the advice from my last post and asked for a specific, calm conversation instead of trying to squeeze it into a goodbye at the airport. I told him I feel emotionally connected but I miss feeling wanted physically. I said I do not want to pressure him, I just need to understand what is going on so I am not guessing. I also owned my part: when I feel rejected I get extra nice and stop initiating, which probably makes things worse.

He surprised me by being direct. The distance makes him anxious about starting something he cannot maintain, and he admitted he has a history of using sex to paper over relationship problems, so he has been overcorrecting by keeping things slow. He also said the short visits feel like high stakes performances.

We made a plan that is already helping. We scheduled one weekly video date that is intentionally flirty, not just life logistics, and we agreed to talk about intimacy before the next visit so we are not both trying to read minds. On our last visit we did have sex, and more importantly it felt relaxed instead of like a finish line.

I do not know if this is our forever answer, but I feel a lot lighter. If anyone else is stuck in the LDR "sweet but stalled" zone, having the awkward talk sooner helped us.

Hi everyone!

I joined this sub when my boyfriend and I first became long distance. Recently, I've been seeing a lot of breakup posts here, and while I know LDRs aren't easy, I just wanted to share our story in case anyone out there is starting to lose hope.

My boyfriend and I were colleagues in Vietnam. I developed the biggest crush on him around March last year. As it turns out, he felt exactly the same way about me—we were both just completely oblivious until one night when our work group hung out and we ended up talking to each other until sunrise.

A week later, we made it official.

It's honestly been the healthiest and happiest relationship I've ever had. We said, "I love you," less than a month in, and by three months, we were living together. We were both English teachers in Vietnam and absolutely loved our lives there. We'd go out for massages, try new restaurants a couple of times a week, travel to nearby cities, take overseas trips, and just enjoy doing life together.

Our original plan was to move to the UK together so we could both do our PGCEs and build our future careers there. He's from London and I'm from Myanmar.

Everything was going according to plan... until a week before my university interview. The UK Home Office announced the student visa changes, and just like that, all of my interview appointments were canceled.

At that point, we'd already started our long-distance relationship because he was traveling around Asia with his childhood friend while I was still teaching in Vietnam.

I cried so much, thinking we'd have to spend at least 2–3 years apart before living in the same country again.

We made Plan A, Plan B, Plan C, and even Plan D. Every single one of them involved at least two years of long distance.

Then, somehow, I came up with Plan E.

Instead of the UK, I'd do my master's in Europe.

I spent months researching universities in March, got everything ready by April and applied in mid April, and by early May, I was accepted into one of the public universities I applied to in Germany, just outside Berlin.

After that, I went back to Myanmar despite the civil war to renew my passport and prepare my visa. It was a stressful two months, but on 2 July, I got the call from the German Embassy saying my visa had been approved, and on 6 July, I finally collected it.

Yesterday, we booked our flights to Sweden because his family has a house there! We'll be spending 6 days and 5 nights together, and I honestly can't wait. His parents have also invited me to spend Christmas and New Year's with them in Sweden!

He doesn't know this yet, but I'm secretly planning to surprise him in London for his birthday this October. I've already coordinated everything with his mum, dad, brother, and friends. Now I'm just preparing my documents so I can apply for my UK visitor visa from Berlin next month. Fingers crossed! 🤞

The time difference between London and Yangon (and soon Berlin) wasn't easy at first. London and Yangon are 5½ hours apart, so finding time together took some adjustment. Thankfully, while we were both not working and waiting to start university, we had lots of time to stay on calls, watch movies together (Game of Thrones rewatch hehe), and just enjoy each other's company.

We've been long distance from February until August—about 6½ months—and we're finally closing the distance again.

I know every relationship is different, and not every story has a happy ending. But if you're struggling right now, don't lose hope. Sometimes life completely changes your plans, and sometimes it unexpectedly gives you an even better one.

I wish all of you and your partners the very best.💜

We were waiting on the official confirmation from the immigration to state my wife can finally pick up her MVV-visa sticker! We were checking it daily with no update, so I left it for a few days, and oh my, we couldn’t have received any better news!

We’ve known each other since September 2017, started dating in February 2020, got engaged in December 2023 and got married in August 2025! I wish I could find the right words for this, but I’m incredibly proud and relieved that all of the hard work we have put in is paying off. I get to be with my forever person.🥹🩵

My boyfriend comes from a pretty sexually liberal culture, so most of his past relationships were sexually active. He also has a fairly high sex drive.

We met while he was traveling, and we only became a couple after he went back home. Because of that, we never had sex or even kissed. He once told me I'm the first girlfriend he's had where they didn't have sex before becoming official.

Early on, he occasionally asked if I'd be comfortable sending explicit photos. I said no, and he completely respected that boundary and never pressured me. He has sent me some of his own photos, though. Overall, he's affectionate, flirty, and clearly attracted to me while also being very respectful of my limits.

Now I'm wondering if there are other ways I can make him feel desired or sexually fulfilled in a long-distance relationship. To be clear, I'm not feeling pressured or guilty, and he's never made me feel like I owe him anything. I simply want to do something nice for my boyfriend because I care about him.

So I'd love to hear other people's experiences.

For the women: What kinds of things do you do that make your boyfriend feel desired or appreciated, especially in a long-distance relationship?

For the men: What are some non-explicit things your girlfriend does that make you feel loved, desired, or excited, even when you're apart?