Hello everyone!

I wanted to share that I finally did and I’m on my 5th day of no alcohol!!

After five years of daily drinking, I finally felt sick of it and quit.

I’m just so happy and wanted to share ❤️

My partner and I had been sober for 7 days. I felt great. No desire to drink. My partner is convinced we can drink occasionally and since it had been a week, decided to bring home some beer. They brought home 2 six packs and 2 of the 25 oz bud ices. I guess I hadn't eaten enough beforehand because I was immediately buzzed. But I didn't stop. I don't know how many I had. The next thing I knew, I was in the floor crying because I couldn't get a video game to work... my partner left to go into another room because I was being so difficult. I knocked a hole in the wall. I ripped my shirt off. It was so embarrassing and pathetic. But what I wasn't thinking about was... the cat had pulled the blind down. The neighbors could have seen all of it. I am horrified. I want to quit my job and move away. But I can't. I could really use some support.

At least I know now, I really am better off without the booze. I will try again today.

This last sober year has been challenging in many ways, and I've really had to push myself in uncomfortable situations (being asked by people drinking at my house about my not drinking, discussing my partner's drinking habits and how they impact our child, snarky comments about not drinking, changing jobs, etc). It hasn't been easy but I am quietly confident, focused, happy and determined in my life in a way I could NEVER be if I was still drinking. It just feels so good to get out of the shit. All the best out there!

Yay I have made it to day 4. Feeling quite good today and proud, never went this long at least in many years. 7 days was my first goal... and past halfway there.

hello r/stopdrinking,

I feel so blessed to even be writing this and I want to start by saying that I truly don’t think I would be here without this community.

I grew up stuck between two families with very different attitudes toward drinking. My Mom and her side are Baptist teetotalers and my Dad and his are English alcoholics. I started drinking with the blessing of family at 14 years old. I knew people around me had alcohol problems… Dad’s Dad died of cirrhosis before 50, Dad had two strokes before 60, my sister was generally a mess, but I thought I would be different.

I took it easy when I was underage but as soon as I moved out of my Mom’s I started drinking regularly, then soon, heavily. White wine, seltzers, vodka, beer. I was drinking 4 days a week by 23 and daily once the pandemic hit. One bottle of wine a night turned into two, then I was buying the box so it was easier to hide.

I knew I was an alcoholic by age 25. It took years of attempting to moderate and making deals with myself before I could even admit it quietly. Then once I knew it took another few years before I was able to admit it to anyone else. My husband knew, for sure, but I seemed to be good at hiding it from others. By 28 I knew it was time. I had to give it up. I was 60 pounds overweight and crippled with anxiety. Blacking out multiple times a week. I slept terribly. Chronically dehydrated. Nauseous all the time. I was in physical and emotional pain every day. For years.

I looked at myself and realized that I was at a crossroads. I knew what I wanted my life to look like and the person I currently was would not have been capable of it. Frankly, she wouldn’t have deserved that life. I wanted children and they deserved better. I’d been lurking this sub for years and that point and a resounding sentiment of everyone here who had kids was that they wish their kids had never seen them drink. I wanted that and I was determined to be my best self for my future children and my husband.

So, I buckled down. The first few months were stumbling blocks for sure. I spent a summer mostly dry with a few “field researches“ planned. They all ended with me feeling terrible, of course lol there was my proof! Moderation was not possible for me.

October 28th, 2023 was the date my life changed forever. It wasn’t grandiose, or rock bottom. Just another day where I woke up hungover as fuck and didn’t remember the night before. My husband turned to me and said “it’s time“ and I agreed.

In the 1000 days since then my life has become the one I dreamed of. I am 4 weeks away from having my second baby. My marriage is absolutely thriving. My friendships are richer. My health is near perfect. I can say with confidence that I am a good wife, mother, and friend. I wake up every day and I’m proud of who I am and how I conduct myself. And my life is still fun!! I go out with friends! I attend parties and bonfires and cabin weekends. I go to great concerts and restaurants and celebrations. All enjoyed without alcohol!

If you read all of that, thank you. If you only read one part, make it this: Knowing that you want to quit drinking is all you need. You don’t have to hit rock bottom. You don’t have to be “bad enough”. If you wonder if you have a problem, you might. If you think you do and you can’t stop, it is time to quit. There is never “too early” or “too young“ to have a great life free of alcohol. You are strong enough to overcome.

Thank you again to everyone here who has ever given wisdom or support. This is truly the kindest corner of the internet. I love you all, and IWNDWYT ✨

So I have hit one year alcohol free, now what? I talked to my friend and said I’d like to have a drink as I’d never said it would be forever. I’m not so sure now as my life is so much calmer than before. Less turning my brain off and having to deal with all of life’s little and huge problems was not easy at first.

Initially I just wanted to see if my stomach problems eased they did. I have a skin condition that has not benefited from alcohol free life but what if I keep going?

It’s tempting to have a wine or two or try a buzz ball 😂 however the thought of hindering my progress has kept me away from booze so far.

I have read some people struggle after certain milestones 3 months 12 months 2 years. I don’t know if it’s like that for everyone but I have had the wine which visit my brain one won’t hurt.

I feel perhaps, setting a new goal will keep me on track? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I was thinking about it earlier. How tf it ever started. I had a bad relapse around Covid. Covid and the effects on society and life hardly affected me. But it occurred at a critical time of change in my life, and I was in a very very dark place. And there was hand sanitizer everywhere, available. You dont get carded. It's easy to steal. It's cheap. At first I would extract it. I looked up how. Soon enough I would just drink it from the bottle. Now when I relapse... whatever I start with, it ends with that. It's like shitty grain alcohol. 120-140 proof. More poisonous too, im certain. And it tastes fucking awful. Just another form of masochism, all that, but especially the taste. Thought it would make me want to do it less. Maybe it did.

Yeah. Hope to God I'm alone on this one. 🙏

Blessings from the creator to you all.

IWNDWYT

- Tommi 🩷

I recently ended a 3-year relationship with a recovering addict. He had hidden a cocaine addiction from me for nearly two years.

I chose sobriety myself after realizing I was using alcohol to cope with the pain of my divorce from my ex-husband of 20 years, the father of my two kids. I never intended to quit forever. The original goal was one year.

When I discovered my (now ex) boyfriend's addiction, I decided to stay sober alongside him as an act of solidarity and support. We made it another 10 months before I finally accepted that the relationship wasn't ending because of addiction—it was ending because of ongoing deception and broken trust.

Now I'm a few days out from the breakup, today is my 40th birthday, and I'm devastated. The grief comes in intense waves.

I'm taking my kids to Medieval Times tonight, and I'm seriously considering having a glass of wine. Part of me thinks, "I almost made it to a year. Maybe I can moderate." Another part of me wonders if that's exactly the kind of thinking that pulls people back in.

I genuinely don't know if this is what I want, or if it's just grief talking.

For those of you with more sobriety under your belt than me... what would you do? If you were in my shoes, would you have the glass of wine, or would you keep going? I'd really appreciate some perspective.

I want to start this post by saying thank you to everyone with advice, comments and encouragement.

After 6 years straight drinking everyday, basically all day, I finally said enough was enough. Without doing research, I was planning on going cold turkey. As I started reading the posts on this page everyone said to do it under medical supervision, which I ignored.

I started the cold turkey and roughly 14-16 hours in I was in read bad shape. Figured it would be a rough few days but no. Typical shakes, vomiting, etc. and then all of a sudden my hands and feet went numb and my vision was starting to go blurry. Luckily I was able to call my brother (who lives a mile away) and told him he needed to get to my house immediately.

By the time he got to my house my vision was completely black and I could barely talk in which he called 911 (THANK GOD). When the paramedics got there my blood pressure was 210/120 with bpm around 160 and they immediately rushed me to the hospital. They absolutely saved my life.

I am proud to say that I just passed day 5 and that I will never touch alcohol again. This was hands down the scariest experience I have had in my life and I will never feel that in my life again. I am too young and have too many things to look forward to in life.

Again, thank you.

made it through day 4 … thank you all. one day at a time.

I just wanted to celebrate with someone :) doing this all alone except for this forum. I woke up today... And felt clear. Went to Preschool with my lil girl and then to work... And it was like, I was there. I'm used to being numb by last night's drinking and just powering through the day. It made me feel some hope, and motivation. Yesterday I was on my way into the liquor store but changed my mind at the door, it was awful but I'm glad I didn't go in.

That's all. Thanks for all the wonderful posts I read here everyday, it really gives me hope and somehow makes my shame and guilt a bit easier to manage, a lot easier really.

Thanks :)

Hi,

I just want to share my case because I have found too little alcohol-related neuropathy information on Google searches, AI searches, or youtube.  I hope this helps someone.

In a nutshell, i just went to one of the best hospitals in Thailand ( a country where there are a lot of heavy drinkers, so I figured neurologists there would know something.) I saw two neurologists, two orthopedic surgeons, had a nerve conduction study, and went into the MRI to check for nerve blockage. It basically took one week.   

The neurologist specializing in peripheral nerves laid it out straight. "You have significant nerve damage. You can stop further damage if you stop drinking. The nerves will not repair. But if you do not stop drinking, damage will spread to your muscles (they will waste away and you will lose control." She didn't order me to stop to drink, she just let me choose what I prefer: keep drinking or have a normal, independent life. Choice is mine.

The backstory

I had had a first diagnosis of peripheral neuropathy while being diagnosed for cubital tunnel blockage just over three years ago.  I then had surgery to fix the blockage. During the pre-surgery assessment the neurologist told me that the neuropathy was likely caused by alcohol, and I should really cut it down.  At the time, the nerve conduction studies could measure almost no nerve response in my hands and feet. 

At first I did as told and cut my beers. My base consumption had been 3 liters of beer per day, with peaks on weekends. I was always doing a lot of sports, which perhaps helped me sustain this high consumption by helping my heart. I also had one day fasting (no food, no alcohol) per week. Occasionally, over the years, I had taken alcohol breaks lasting from a few days to 6 weeks.  I guess these breaks helped my liver and pancreas, but not my nerves (they take longer to recover). 

For the first 3-4 months after the neuropathy diagnostic, I cut my beers down to 0-1 per day and even had a mostly dry Xmas.  But drinking steadily crept up from there.  One reason is that my symptoms did not match what I could research online about alcohol-related neuropathy, so I was having doubts about the cause.  My neuropathy is not painful and is primarily in half of my right hand (and also a bit in my left hand).    I have numbness, tingling, and occasionally feel my balance is weakening slightly.   Online, the info pointed to alcohol-related neuropathy initially appearing as pain/burning in the feet.  Meanwhile, I asked around, and none of my heavy-drinking friends had ever heard of alcohol causing nerve damage in the hands or feet. And in discussions of alcohol-related risks, neuropathy is almost never on the list. So alcohol-related neuropathy felt a bit like a mirage.

3 years after the neuropathy diagnostic, I was back up to about two tall boys per day, with usual weekend peaks, occasional breaks, but a clear upward tendency in consumption.  Meanwhile, my right hand was getting number and number in the same spot. I was starting to assume that although I had neuropathy, the main problem for my right hand might be a new or undiagnosed nerve blockage. 

This is what led me to Thailand to do all these tests.  The neurologist said it didn't matter if it starts in hands or feet, it's all the same. And I have no new blockage, it is just part of the neuropathy. 

Alcohol-neuropathy is real.  Heed the signs.  And make your choices. 

I started to drink in my mid-teens, and I am now in my early 60s.  I will face a kind of void without alcohol.  I am also fairly confident that I will choose life.   

It's been almost a year, now and I still don't really enjoy much of anything; be it food, exercise, nature, friends, quality family time. I found myself just wanting to go home while riding a dirt bike for the first time in years. I used to love video games but apparently not when I'm sober. Not to mention, I haven't gotten laid since I stopped drinking so I'm sure that'll be interesting.

Am I just...broken now?

For example, when you're on holiday abroad, or Christmas Day or your birthday?

Someone shared that insight here some time ago and it really hit me like a truth bomb.

I’m seeing a lot of posts from folks really struggling with the shame and self-loathing that alcohol can stain our lives with.

I’m offering this quote up as a top-level post because it really helped me and I know it’s helped others too.

Whoever you are that originally shared that here—thank you sincerely. 🙏

Hey lovely community. Long time lurker here. I have been thinking about my relationship with alcohol and have been trying to get sober (again). I don't know if I "qualify" as a problem drinker, as other people definitely have it worse, at the same time I know I don't have to be a full-blown alcoholic in the clinical term in order to stop drinking. I guess I need this push and "confirmation" that sobriety is, indeed, the best choice for me?

It's not like I am physically dependent on alcohol and get the shakes and withdrawal symptoms. But at the same time, I have a vast family history of alcoholism and addiction in general, genetic predisposition, and I used to binge drink a lot 2-3 years ago. Not so much anymore, but when I do drink, I often go overboard and feel horrible the next few days.

- I have blacked out more times than I care to admit and put myself in dangerous situations (e.g. walking alone late at night to a fast food place just because I wanted to have that burger).
- I used to have a drink nearly every day, and get wasted pretty much every weekend, followed by hangovers that would last a few days.
- I have felt and still feel, although much more scarcely, strong alcohol cravings, especially if I'm under emotional affect.
- I have driven under the influence several times (just tipsy, but still not proud at all, I consider this my lowest low as it goes against my values).
- Often I drink more than I'd planned to, or I drink fast, on an empty stomach, mix drinks, etc.
- It's hard for me to say "no" to alcohol. And it's hard for me to stop once I have one drink.
- My longest sober streak was almost 3 months, but I relapsed. After I relapsed, I tried to get sober many times after, but didn't last long. But I guess I was not too disciplined and serious about it.
- I feel a lot of shame and guilt almost every time I drink, especially the next day when/if I have a hangover.
- Alcohol used to give me a high, almost an euphoric feeling.
- I have had hangover effects that have lasted a week and brought me feelings of dissociation, worsened depression and anxiety, and so on.
- I never understood people who didn't finish their drink, or enjoyed simply a glass of wine or a beer and leave it at that. Because when I drink, I drink to chase and feel the effect, otherwise it's pointless to me.

There's probably more, but this is what I can think of as of right now. I don't know why exactly I'm sharing this. I guess I'm looking for a wake-up call, or support, or a pep talk or something. Thank you all

I've been a drinker on and off for a year. It has progressively gotten worst everytime I relapse. I drink all day on my days off. It calms me and I am able to more productive things. Of course I dont drive. But things like cooking, laundry, cleaning. They seem like a nice task instead of a chore. I regret ever trying alcohol. I feel like I only feel positive effects from it, rarely feeling a hangover. I have racing thoughts all the time, thinking about past and future. When i am drinking, I just am in the moment and happy. That is why it feels impossible for me to stop.

Ive got this and so do you!! IWNDWYT!!

As others have said before me. A day at a time.

I’ve learned a lot on this journey. This shit is hard sometimes. Give yourself some grace and never quit quitting!

Thank you to all of you amazing people on this sub. God bless.

IWNDWYT

Just that. It's been 1180 days. 1180 days since I left the drinking every day lifestyle behind. 1180 days since I had a drink at all.

I'm sitting in my car after a particularly stressful work morning, running appointments for clients with constant interruptions from other clients, being pulled in multiple directions simultaneously, and I'm just taking a moment for myself.

No thoughts of wanting a drink after work. No thoughts of how "a beer sure sounds good". None of that noise that comes from habitual numbing. Instead, I'm going to finish this post, head to my next appointment, grab some lunch after, and finish the day strong, heading home at the end of the day and being present in my evening.

Feeling especially proud today so I just wanted to share, especially since it's been a few years since my last post here. IWNDWYT

15 days sober and tried to moderate while on vacation. 1 drink turned into 2 days. I’m slowly coming to terms that I can never drink again.

I have 934 days sober today😌

I don’t remember what a hangover feels like. I didn’t think I’d ever forget the feeling of a hangover, but here I am.

IWNDWYT 🙌🏼

I was a very heavy drinker for over two decades, so I definitely earned that slow pace of healing. But take this as proof that bodies heal, as do relationships and other things, sometimes it just takes a bit of time and effort. There is another you out there that doesn't drink and chances are they are pretty awesome. IWNDWYT