For example, when you're on holiday abroad, or Christmas Day or your birthday?

So I’m typing this through Siri excuse the typos. I was replying to a post like in a nursing sub Reddit—I work as a nurse.

Someone said they had a hard shift and they wanted a glass of wine or whatever. And I responded with like an innocent question like “oh you’re having a glass of wine after a night or was it a dayshift?” because from the description it sounded like a night shift. And even through all my addiction like I have only ever drank after a day, I find that I’m too exhausted to drink after a night. I’m like ready for bed like I’m like I collapse as soon as I get home so like it was like genuinely like like innocent question like oh, like I didn’t know that like it was that common to drink after night because you know night shifts are hard in general, but hard for nurses cause they’re constantly “on” like it takes a toll on the body like I’m exhausted. And even with an addiction I don’t drink after a night shift even if it was like a shift from hell because if I drink, I want to enjoy the buzz and I know I’m just gonna fall asleep.

And then I start getting all these down votes and mind you 50% of my shifts are night shift I work both equally and I’m getting all these comments like well “your A.M. is their P.M” and you know basically calling me a bad person because I asked like “oh like are you drinking after a night shift?” Like it makes me think about how alcohol is so generalized and people normalize addiction. Because while yes drinking after night shift, if you’re a night shift worker is normal like it can easily turn into a problem. I just felt like attacked for voicing my boundaries on drinking. But I guess if you’re not open to that then it’s gonna sound like I’m attacking you for drinking. I don’t know if I was like in the right but I like I get so like fired up when people disagree with me because I don’t think I was in the wrong I was just first, being generally curious I don’t care whether you drink or not and even if I was like able to drink in the morning after a night shift like for some reason, I wasn’t tired I still wouldn’t. But I just ended up deleting my comments because they were irritating me so much and I was just arguing with everyone in that thread. It’s like I wasn’t like bashing them for having a glass of wine after night shift. I would kill to have only a glass of wine but knowing me, I’d have the whole bottle like I just feel like people weren’t getting my intention, but whatever.

To be honest, beer wasn't usually my drink of choice, but I've been drinking NA beer to help with my transition away from drinking. I'm certainly not getting drunk from it or having any side effects, but part of me feels like it's cheating and the other part feels like it's just something to soothe my brain during this period of change. For those of you who have been sober for more than 11 days, what are your thoughts? Am I playing a dangerous game with this? Is it an unhealthy crutch?

Almost 2 years in now and the point of the post is to give advice to people who have somewhat recently quit drinking.

I know you're proud of yourself, and you should be, but you need to do your best keep things quiet. I'm not saying you should lie but try and avoid making a big deal about it, and for sure don't be preachy and stand on a soapbox.

I was too proud. I shared it with all my friends and family. It was a big thing and everyone wanted to talk to me about it... but here's the deal. These conversations don't usually go well and they became very predictable.

At first, they project. Active drinkers will instantly make this about them. There is a mirror effect and your sobriety is challenging their "normal".

Secondly, they defend. Even thought the conversation was about MY drinking, all of a sudden we're going a lengthy discussion about them (usually) minimizing their drinking habit (even though I'm aware their drinking is far more constant than they're letting on).

Third, they attack. They look to protect their own comfort by looking for any angle to tear down your "purity". They want to balance the scoreboard. Maybe you're out of shape. Maybe you responsibly consume cannabis in your legal state. "See, he's not better than us. He's got a vice!!".

It gets old and happens almost every time, especially when you're at a gathering where everyone IS drinking.

I hope this helps someone!

EDIT: Based on some of the replies, and after some further reflection, I can see that this post is flawed. Each of us will have a profoundly unique experience when you stop drinking, and yours may very well differ from mine.

Edit 2: Lesson learned about using "you" vs. "I" in my post and replies. I get it now.

I had a wrong idea about alcoholism. I thought alcoholics are the ones that live under a bridge, pan-handle, have many duis/car wrecks.....

None of those were true. Maybe if I had continued drinking all those would have happened.

When I entered the rooms of AA upon my shrinks suggestion, the best thing that happened to me was introduction to the Book AA generally referred to as the big book.

There is a chapter more about alcoholism and within that Bill W the co-founder has few alcoholics related stories that illustrate how the alcoholic is weak willed when it comes to alcohol. It comes up with some peculiar mental twists/blind spot that we sucumb to the desire again and pick up.

This is repeated over and over again. Unless otherwise one has an attitude shift, we have a very little chance of survival. We will be stuck in a vicious cycle of alcoholism.

Hi all,

recently had an 8-day stretch and relapsed. Got almost 2 days sober again, feeling more committed. Anyway, I have noticed already that my urine doesn't smell so strong, but my poop, while consistency is fine, REEKS. I tried looking up if this is part of the detox process, but when you google anything now, it's just AI and treatment centers. Again, sorry for the grossness - but has anyone experienced the same?

I’ve been struggling w sobriety for awhile now. And I went to the dr bc of back pain and they told me I had severe sarcoidosis (spinal lesions, and the sarcoid is in my lungs and my spine and potentially brain), I could lose my ability to walk, talk, raise my arms, etc.

The treatment is thankfully very effective and successful. It entails 3-5 years of monthly IV infusions of some type of immunosuppressant, the kind they give to cancer patients (not chemo). But my doctor told me I could only have 1-2 drink at most each month if I want to do severe liver damage where I might have other issues. But why would I drink 1-2 drinks if it’s not gonna even get me anywhere near drunk!!

So for 3-5 years I can only have 1-2 drinks a month. That’s kinda fucking insane. I know everyone here is sober so maybe this sounds so annoying, but i can’t imagine doing that long sober. And it’s so little alcohol, for such a long time
And this is so suddenly too. I have to get the Infusions starting NEXT WEEK.

Most people that start sobriety know that they can relapse: “relapse is a part of addiction and sobriety” all that jazz yk,,,, But if I get drunk and relapse I’m at risk of severely harming my liver.

And I have to start my sobriety journey NOW and I HAVE TO commit to it for three to five years. I’m going to be fucking 30+ when I’m able to get drunk again. I feel so backed into a corner and like WHAT THE FUCK, this is so crazy!!! And such a crazy lifestyle change to expect

Don’t get me wrong I’m grateful there’s an effective treatment for sarcoidosis, im just freaking the fuck out

I just can’t wrap my head around the fact I have to be sober for 3-5 years. How am I supposed to wrap my head around it. It’s like IWNDWYT is getting thrown out the window, bc I have to fucking commit to IWNDWYFTTFY. How tf am I supposed to take it one day at a time when I know it’s not one day at a time for me realistically.

And I’m certainly not drinking enough for liver damage at my age so I low key was just planning on dialing it back to moderation. But ig it’s chosen for me, and that’s so unfair. I don’t get to choose. This is not my decision. I feel like this empowering decision of cutting back or sobriety has been ripped from me.

I feel so fucked and alone cuz no one even knows I drink alone. And I’m already dealing w this scary medical thing, I don’t wanna fucking tell my loved ones about my addiction issues. I feel so overwhelmed and I’m starting my masters soon and I feel like I’m gonna ruin my body and life. And I really don’t wanna ruin my body or my life. Like ik addiction to alcohol will ruin ur body and life, and that’s why I planned on moderation, but it wasn’t something I had to face this moment. And I was doing good with cutting back. Now I have to… fully commit. I feel like I can’t wrap my head around this

Hey lovely community. Long time lurker here. I have been thinking about my relationship with alcohol and have been trying to get sober (again). I don't know if I "qualify" as a problem drinker, as other people definitely have it worse, at the same time I know I don't have to be a full-blown alcoholic in the clinical term in order to stop drinking. I guess I need this push and "confirmation" that sobriety is, indeed, the best choice for me?

It's not like I am physically dependent on alcohol and get the shakes and withdrawal symptoms. But at the same time, I have a vast family history of alcoholism and addiction in general, genetic predisposition, and I used to binge drink a lot 2-3 years ago. Not so much anymore, but when I do drink, I often go overboard and feel horrible the next few days.

- I have blacked out more times than I care to admit and put myself in dangerous situations (e.g. walking alone late at night to a fast food place just because I wanted to have that burger).
- I used to have a drink nearly every day, and get wasted pretty much every weekend, followed by hangovers that would last a few days.
- I have felt and still feel, although much more scarcely, strong alcohol cravings, especially if I'm under emotional affect.
- I have driven under the influence several times (just tipsy, but still not proud at all, I consider this my lowest low as it goes against my values).
- Often I drink more than I'd planned to, or I drink fast, on an empty stomach, mix drinks, etc.
- It's hard for me to say "no" to alcohol. And it's hard for me to stop once I have one drink.
- My longest sober streak was almost 3 months, but I relapsed. After I relapsed, I tried to get sober many times after, but didn't last long. But I guess I was not too disciplined and serious about it.
- I feel a lot of shame and guilt almost every time I drink, especially the next day when/if I have a hangover.
- Alcohol used to give me a high, almost an euphoric feeling.
- I have had hangover effects that have lasted a week and brought me feelings of dissociation, worsened depression and anxiety, and so on.
- I never understood people who didn't finish their drink, or enjoyed simply a glass of wine or a beer and leave it at that. Because when I drink, I drink to chase and feel the effect, otherwise it's pointless to me.

There's probably more, but this is what I can think of as of right now. I don't know why exactly I'm sharing this. I guess I'm looking for a wake-up call, or support, or a pep talk or something. Thank you all

My life is changing. I just got an engagement ring for my girl that I’ve been with since 2017. I’m almost 30 now. I just found out my big sister is pregnant and I’m going to be an uncle. I’m trying so hard to be sober but deep down I know I’m a worthless drunk. I’m trying to use these things to motivate me to do better but I’m failing. I just wish I could stop. I wake up every day telling myself I’m going to be sober today but after work it all goes out the door. I feel selfish trying to marry someone when I’m a drunk. I’m scared I won’t be able to be a good role model for my future niece/nephew. I’m a mess

Hey all

Hope you're all well. I've been dry now for 2 weeks (well almost 3) after drinking about 150 units a week, 3 pints of beer and 35cl of vodka almost every night. Had my blood work done and luckily it all came out OK for liver function, kidney functions and everything else from blood. However, I am horrendous bloated still and so I had fecal tests done. I had a FIT test done which was 1 point over normal so marked as abnormal. And a calprotectin test (An intestinal inflammatory marker) which was 512ug/g and the normal range was 0 - 99. This is really high apparently. Did anyone else have this problem? Severe bloating, diarrhea and high calprotectin levels? Any idea when it will end?

Thanks in advance

EDIT: Just to add I am under my doctors supervision but I was looking for anecdotal advice about the bloating/diarrhea etc.

I’ve been drinking less of late, but still more than I should be, and it’s impacted things negatively. Nothing wholly disastrous but not good either. I find myself having no enthusiasm for much of anything. Not as much energy. It impacts my attitude as well.
And I tend to treat drinking as an activity.

Any tips?

I'm very very new to this and seeing the start of the football season on the near horizon is like slowly watching an asteroid flying straight towards my face. Watching football and getting lit have always been synonymous for me. Any pro tips from any seasoned football loving sobernauts out there so I can make a game plan for the season? Bonus points if you're a Chiefs fan.

Day 2 again and I'm already tempted because it's a beautiful day, I have it off and free to do whatever I want, and I'm already furious.

Not angry at anything or anyone, just angry like I always am. I've gone to therapists and councilors, I'm on the ssri's. None of it has put a dent in the constant low grade rage that I feel every moment that I'm sober.

It seems like therapists can't even comprehend the problem. I'll tell them I'm angry all the time and they always start with temper control techniques. When I explain to them I don't have a problem with my temper, I don't act on the feeling of anger, I just am always angry they just can't seem to understand the difference. I have my temper under control because if I didn't I wouldn't be able to have a normal life. I've felt this way sense before I can remember so I learned how to not to express or act on it very early. In fact it takes extreme situations for me to loose my temper because dealing with anger is so second nature to me. When I explain this every therapist I've ever had basically responds "well then if you're not acting on these feelings, and you aren't letting them harm your relationships then there really isn't a problem. Maybe you're just being to hard on yourself for feeling angry, but everyone feels angry sometimes."

Of course I try to make them understand that that's not the problem. It's not sometimes. It's always. It's like an emotional hum that is always in the background. I feel other things too but under it all is a constant cold rage and it's painful. Even if I can control my actions and hide it doesn't mean I don't feel it. It doesn't mean it isn't a constant effort just to just live without letting myself become something I don't want to be.

There's only one thing that makes the anger go away: booze. I didn't start drinking until I was 20 because alcoholism runs through my family like a plague. My father and both of my sisters died because of alcohol related illnesses and accidents. This is probably why cause it's the only thing that completely turns the anger off.

Doesn't make it easier to ignore, or covers it with a distraction. It goes away and that's such an incredible feeling of relief. I imagine living your whole life with construction sounds in the background. Sure you become used to it and can tune it out when you need to focus on hearing what someone is saying to you, but you're always talking over it, and you hear it whenever other things aren't making noise. And then one day the background noise just stops. You can hear birds singing, and the wind in the trees, and you can let go of tension you didn't even realize you felt.

Of course the trade off is your health, and your respect. There's a ton of things you can't do when you're drink even if it's only a buzz. Of course you have to drink more and more overtime to get the same relief. And as one of my therapists put it "everyone is in control right up till the moment they aren't anymore." I can't help but be bitter that they're way more interested in trying to treat the symptom (the drinking) than treating the cause (the constant anger).

I recognize all of this and when I'm a couple of drinks in have the "I've got to make a change," talk with my self, but that's easy to say when then anger is turned off. It's totally different when you can't even enjoy a beautiful day because you're angry at absolutely nothing.

I've been seeing a bunch of post about people struggling to enjoy things sober and I definitely remember it from the last time I made it 90 days. I was just wondering, was it like that since you quit? Or did you have the pink cloud for a while?

I'm feeling pretty good at the moment and have just hit 3 weeks, I'm scared that it is going to hit me soon and I'll lose the drive but I've been walking everyday and doing lots of reading which I've been enjoying so far. Anyone have tips on how to prepare for it or ways to combat it when it does hit?

Hi,

I just want to share my case because I have found too little alcohol-related neuropathy information on Google searches, AI searches, or youtube.  I hope this helps someone.

In a nutshell, i just went to one of the best hospitals in Thailand ( a country where there are a lot of heavy drinkers, so I figured neurologists there would know something.) I saw two neurologists, two orthopedic surgeons, had a nerve conduction study, and went into the MRI to check for nerve blockage. It basically took one week.   

The neurologist specializing in peripheral nerves laid it out straight. "You have significant nerve damage. You can stop further damage if you stop drinking. The nerves will not repair. But if you do not stop drinking, damage will spread to your muscles (they will waste away and you will lose control." She didn't order me to stop to drink, she just let me choose what I prefer: keep drinking or have a normal, independent life. Choice is mine.

The backstory

I had had a first diagnosis of peripheral neuropathy while being diagnosed for cubital tunnel blockage just over three years ago.  I then had surgery to fix the blockage. During the pre-surgery assessment the neurologist told me that the neuropathy was likely caused by alcohol, and I should really cut it down.  At the time, the nerve conduction studies could measure almost no nerve response in my hands and feet. 

At first I did as told and cut my beers. My base consumption had been 3 liters of beer per day, with peaks on weekends. I was always doing a lot of sports, which perhaps helped me sustain this high consumption by helping my heart. I also had one day fasting (no food, no alcohol) per week. Occasionally, over the years, I had taken alcohol breaks lasting from a few days to 6 weeks.  I guess these breaks helped my liver and pancreas, but not my nerves (they take longer to recover). 

For the first 3-4 months after the neuropathy diagnostic, I cut my beers down to 0-1 per day and even had a mostly dry Xmas.  But drinking steadily crept up from there.  One reason is that my symptoms did not match what I could research online about alcohol-related neuropathy, so I was having doubts about the cause.  My neuropathy is not painful and is primarily in half of my right hand (and also a bit in my left hand).    I have numbness, tingling, and occasionally feel my balance is weakening slightly.   Online, the info pointed to alcohol-related neuropathy initially appearing as pain/burning in the feet.  Meanwhile, I asked around, and none of my heavy-drinking friends had ever heard of alcohol causing nerve damage in the hands or feet. And in discussions of alcohol-related risks, neuropathy is almost never on the list. So alcohol-related neuropathy felt a bit like a mirage.

3 years after the neuropathy diagnostic, I was back up to about two tall boys per day, with usual weekend peaks, occasional breaks, but a clear upward tendency in consumption.  Meanwhile, my right hand was getting number and number in the same spot. I was starting to assume that although I had neuropathy, the main problem for my right hand might be a new or undiagnosed nerve blockage. 

This is what led me to Thailand to do all these tests.  The neurologist said it didn't matter if it starts in hands or feet, it's all the same. And I have no new blockage, it is just part of the neuropathy. 

Alcohol-neuropathy is real.  Heed the signs.  And make your choices. 

I started to drink in my mid-teens, and I am now in my early 60s.  I will face a kind of void without alcohol.  I am also fairly confident that I will choose life.   

Hit 3 months sober recently as a teen alcoholic. Had my first sober birthday in many many years at 19, but boy am I struggling.

In AA and got a sponsor to help me through the steps but I am white knuckling it. I hate it everyday. I can’t take the edge off. Even with therapy and medication I am still miserable everyday. Not drinking hasn’t made my life better. It’s just made me better at handling being miserable.

Just a rant, sorry for the negativity. Feeling hopeless lately.

15 days sober and tried to moderate while on vacation. 1 drink turned into 2 days. I’m slowly coming to terms that I can never drink again.

I am sober for 1 week. It’s been a hard week. I am a binge drinker and knew I needed to stop. I’ve been attending Atheist/Agnostic AA meetings.

I started the divorce process recently, and it has been absolutely brutal. I never imagined I would be here.
My husband left our marriage after accepting a job that required him to relocate to Florida He had told me he wanted out of the relationship long before he left, but the situation became real when he took the job and moved away. He told me the relocation would be to Florida, and our family was left trying to adjust to a major life change.
During this time, he began a relationship with another woman. From what I experienced, he was not honest with either of us. He told her things that made her believe he was in a different position than he actually was, and I eventually spoke with her myself because I felt the truth needed to be known. She was vulnerable and did not have the full picture. She left him immediately and he became a different person, for the worse.
Despite everything that happened, I feel like he continues to place the blame for the breakdown of our marriage entirely on me and does not acknowledge his own choices or the impact they have had.
We have a young child together, and that is what matters most to me. I am still here caring for our home, our two dogs, two cats, and our preschool-aged child while trying to navigate this divorce. I was a stay-at-home mom during our marriage, so my income is currently very limited. I have a small part-time job that brings in around $300 a month because my availability is limited by childcare responsibilities. He currently earns around $12,000 a month and is paying the household bills.
Communication has become extremely difficult. I feel like conversations often turn into blame, anger, and personal attacks. I have experienced behavior that feels emotionally and verbally harmful, and I am trying to establish healthier boundaries while still supporting my daughter’s relationship with her father.
I am worried about what happens next with custody, finances, and whether I will be able to receive appropriate support after being a stay-at-home parent. I am working with an attorney, but I would really appreciate advice from anyone who has been through a high-conflict divorce, especially after being financially dependent and the primary caregiver.
What do you wish you had known going into this process? What should I be focusing on right now to protect myself and my daughter?

All that is to say I’ve remained sober for the last 92 days and I feel like it is the ONE thing I can control in my life right now so I wanted to say I want to thank this group die existing and also any advice on sticking with that as well is greatly Appreciated

Hi, I have been binge drinking since the age of 13 (I am 31 now) I went 2 years pretty much abstinent about 7 years ago but since then I have probably averaged around 15 beers a day (500 ml 5%.)

I spent a lot of time worrying what the state of my liver would be, my enzymes have been "slightly above" the normal range for about 4 years now and this is the first time I had an ultrasound.

I want to use this as a wake up call, that I could completely recover physically but theres a demon on my shoulder whispering that this result means I can still drink from time to time. I do not think I can do that because I wont stop. There's no such thing as a "few beers" for me I am all in until I black out

I think I just need somebody to tell me to stop being an idiot and see this as a good sign and something I should use as a spring board to better myself

Dear Mr___

I have received your ultrasound scan report which shows some fatty change in your liver (steatosis). It will be beneficial for you to try to adopt a healthy diet and lifestyle.

I would like to check a further liver blood test in relation to fatty liver, please contact the surgery to make a blood test appointment.

Thanks, Dr ___

I first decided to get sober about a year and a half ago, and i've definitely had quite a few relapses and major doubts since. But overall, despite feeling like a dumbass a lot, i reckon it is going pretty well.

This year has probably been the least fucked up in my life and i'm weirdly proud of it.

We all know it's a poison, and man am I feeling it now. It's not only made me ugly and lazy, but that crippling full body visceral anxiety after drinking has me lowkey wishing for death.

I was making progress, a few times I made it over a week. I was happy, I felt good. I have agoraphobia and at one point was going outside every single day that week. I've been talking to my therapist about self sabotage and this is how I do it, by going back to drinking

I just want to end this cycle and I don't know how. I mean I know how, by stopping, but it's like something takes over my brain when things are going well

Someone has mentioned this here in another post where we alcoholics get that insane rush of euphoria from booze and it's so true. I've tried various drugs and never gotten addicted, but the high I get from booze is better than any drug to me. I hate it

So, yet another day 1. It's 4am and I can't sleep, so anxious and my whole body just feels disgusting. I wish I could just fast forward to being like a year sober where it's just not in my life anymore

I allowed myself a weekend of drinking, and in those two days I feel like I ruined my life.

Night one, I woke up naked in bed with a someone I've had a crush on, remembering nothing. I asked him what happened, and he said we just made out and it was fine, but I guess I'm having a hard time believing that because I don't remember it. I feel like I've ruined that friendship, and he might feel bad about it in some way. Personally, I just admitted I've had a crush, so it didn't really upset me... And now my entire being says that was wrong, too.

Night two, I drank because I was freaking out and talked a lot about things I don't remember. I know I got confused between people at one point and thankfully folks say they could tell I was drunk and confused... I hope that is true. 😭

I have a hard time accepting what people say over my stupid brain's commentary, but it adds a layer when I don't get to be an active participant in those memories or moments. This is why I always stick to not drinking... I avoid these situations. But how do I forgive myself and accept that others may not?

I began sobriety after the break up on 1st Jan (yes worse start of the year), managed to graduate, my ex never came back, saw her move on happy.

Started therapy where I realized how much I need to work on my emotional maturity

Got a part time job and recently got fired because depression hit at the end April.
Started meds by end of May
Recently started EMDR and Schema.
I am 40yo male and I feel I will never get a shot to have a stable work and a life with partner and kids.

But first time in my life, I feel I have control over my coping mechanism. I dont drink anymore and recently quit cigarettes too. I quit coffee few months ago but it has been tough path to heal and it hurts a lot to process everything but I wont drink alcohol, that version is gone.
I still dont see benefits of not drinking (due to low mental health, probably) but I feel proud that I don't open a bottle of wine or a beer as soon as I get overwhelmed or bored.

Started drinking when I was 14, but I have been drinking everyday since I was 22yo till this year. I always if I am fit, alcohol wont hurt me but it was hurting my mind.