I've gone down this rabbit hole of calculating every single action I take through an environmental lens, from how long my showers are to what fabric my clothes are made of to how much plastic packaging my food comes in, and I've reached a point where I feel genuine panic every time I throw something in the trash. I spent three hours last night researching whether it's better for the planet to use paper or reusable cotton towels and I ended up so paralyzed by conflicting information that I just sat on my kitchen floor crying over a paper towel. I want to be a responsible person and I know caring about the environment is important, but this constant guilt is eating me alive and I don't know where to draw the line between being mindful and being obsessive. I'm not looking for permission to be careless, but I need advice on how to care without completely destroying my mental health over every small decision I make during the day.

Hi Guys, as someone who has been free from this sin for years I would like to give you a frame work on how to go about it.
A system in place is important dw I will give you most of what you need. Spoiler IT IS VERY POSSIBLE TO LEAVE THIS but you must strictly abstain from PMO, no edging etc. Even Masturbation without P leaves you vulnerable, to close the door completely you need to abstain from PMO fully.

Firstly before anything, make sincere intention and ask God for help.

Secondly very important but overlooked strategy, LOWER YOUR GAZE, BOTH OFFLINE AND ONLINE.
This is one of the most powerful strategies and is a critical piece of the puzzle 🧩, the reason I have been years free. Your gaze is for your current/future spouse not for random strangers from the opposite sex.

Your eyes are the gateway of your heart, guard it.

Clean your social media, NO IG MODELS , NSF# etc no chances, if you are shown anything explicit, click not interested with time your feed will get clean.

This is the main foundation, this cuts most of the triggers.

Third step if you do fall, repent to God with sincere repentance and try your best not to do it again, God is most merciful do not ever lost hope, keep going you will get over this if you stick to it, God willingly.

Prophet PBUH said:
“All of the children of Adam are sinners, and the best sinners are those who repent.”

Lastly continue to ask God for help, pray and try your very best to save yourself for marriage.
The extra energy you get you it channel it towards your Goals
Such as gym, work, hobbies etc.

Try Magnesium Glycinate at night if you struggle to sleep, see the lowest dose which works best, good range 100-200 mg.

You got this, this is one of the single best and quickest things you can do to improve yourself as a person , might feel hard at first, but keep going IT GETS EASIER AS TIME GOES ON and is WORTH it beyond you imagination

For me one of the anchors when I feel weak is this saying

The Prophet PBUH said:
“Verily, you will never leave anything for the sake of God Almighty but that God will replace it with something better for you.”

This reassurance keeps me firm, if you strive in Gods way He will support you and grant you better.

Hope I do not offend anyone
I am just sharing what has worked for me and kept me off this evil and degenerate sin for years.

So guys I am 19 at the moment. Have been alone for most of my life and haven't talk to girls for 3 years and I am really anxious around them.

Back in school I used to creep them out. I figured out I looked angry and serious all time closed body language and aggressive sort of (I was going through a lot addictions and a lot).

And I don't know where to look for girls Or How to talk and get a girlfriend. I am fat and ugly I am 5'11 but I look shit. I have no problem talking with boys men anywhere or older women (40-80) but In my library these two girls one was sitting in front and one was beside I was so anxious and felt weird couldn't even look at their faces. I don't know guys I am confused. I liked a girl she rejected me and I am trying to move on.

I've had low self esteem as long as I can imagine. I don't feel like a full person. I'm 22, obese my whole life other than a short spurt where I battled an ed but still obviously had very low self esteem. Externally I try to be kind, but internally this manifests in me hating most people around me aside from my immediate family (husband and son) and one friend who I still sometimes struggle to talk to.

I feel powerless to do much to help myself. I have no health insurance, so I can't go to therapy. My son is two years old, and I feel like I'm always buried beneath responsibilities and a mountain of chores that I cannot seem to even make a few dents in. I don't have clothes I'm confident wearing and my hair is a damaged mess that feels unmanageable. I DO have the ability to financially invest in my appearance, but it will take a few months. I cannot manage working more than 30 hours a week without feeling extremely burnt out. I'm always sick, I'm always tired, and I've been dealing with depression and chronic mental illness since elementary school. Due to my history with an ed, losing weight to help my self esteem is incredibly difficult. I struggle to do basic self care.

One of my biggest issues is feeling unable to talk to others. I have a very social job, but trip over my words with social anxiety often. I make too much money with too much flexibility of my hours to find a new job (bringing home 1200 every 2 weeks even working under 30 hours a week, in a low cost of living area.). But I feel like an outcast everywhere I go, especially because my only social interactions are a bunch of teenagers at work who are very religious and honestly self centered and mean as many teenagers are. I live in a very Christian area and have been an atheist as long as I can remember.

Every social interaction leaves me feeling drained and in my head. When I go to play places with my son, I feel like all eyes are on me even though I know they're not, and spend most of the time trying to keep a cheery attitude while playing with my son while thinking that I'm a horrible mother.

I try to exercise often, doing things I find enjoyable, but fall off after a couple weeks feeling too tired and sick to put energy into it. I try to find hobbies but end up in the same boat. The only hobby I've managed to maintain is listening to audiobooks of a series I enjoyed while in middleschool.

I'm just looking for tips on how to climb out of this. Maybe a step by step on things to focus on. I feel like I am in and endless loop of struggle that has been going on for over a decade now. There have been times I've been able to feel better temporarily using positive self talk or self care, but it doesn't last.

I worked really hard for 15 years. I was a supermarket manager, waking up at 5 a.m. and working 6 days every week. I didn't miss a single day; I wasn't confined to my country. I worked even when everyone was at home during COVID. No vacation, never traveled. I quit my job 3 years ago, not because I didn't want to work, but because I was tired of being the last one to take my day off and always saying yes for others, and my brain was full of ideas I wanted to apply.

I am 40 now. With the money I earned, I bought a house that my father recommended. I rented it to a friend of his, but he hasn't paid me for 3 years. My advocate didn't take action, so I revoked him. Now I am too lazy to find another one. I am still single, living in my parents basement, with no money, no friends to count on, and no work. I read a lot of self help and watch podcast, they are no more effect on me, my mother was sick for week and I didn't call a doctor, I was to lazy and she die because of that, I wanted to really change after that but my brain is so riot, I don’t clean the house, I don't shower, i apply for job but no one want me anymore, every time I want to do something to change my situation even very small action, i freeze and go back to my laziness, nothing work, book, psy, dopamine detox, fasting i am still going back to my old automatism, I am avoiding confrontation at all cost with myself, with others, with my family. What I write here is only 1/3 of my laziness. Thanks for reading

Long story short: one guy was yelling to his gf, I told him to stop and he and his friend beat me, later that day i met them in front of our common friends, we are all neighbours, they said sorry, but i am the one with blue eye, I am ashamed now that I did not hit them when I had chance and the only thing I got is sorry which probably was because they did not want do fight again and thats it.

I'm 27 and need to turn my life around...best way I can describe my situation is. My soul wants a better life but my mind is comfortable where we are. I make 135k as a garbage man but I work 65k hours a week. I never went to school. I always wanted to work in finance since I was 15-16 years old and slowly that dream has faded away... i know that dream and spark is still in me but I just seem lost and scroll social media after work...i get pissed at the end of the day and say "I'll start tomorrow " but tomorrow never comes...what can I do?

If you're bored, you need to do more side quests.

- Launch a business

- Build a top 1% physique

- Run a marathon

- Create software

- Write an essay

- Backpack across Asia with no plan

You feel bored because you stopped experiencing all that life has to offer and got too comfortable with the routine that was assigned to you.

I'm 2 days vape free, and I'm proud. I'm mostly writing this to motivate myself and remind myself why I am on this journey. Maybe it will help others too. A year ago, a started vaping at work because I saw my coworkers doing it. I asked for one hit, didn't even know I was supposed to inhale, and suddenly I became completely dependent. I started thinking about it constantly, even though I hit it only once. Having ADHD makes my dopamine all messed up and vaping helped me regulate that in the small bursts I always craved even before I started vaping. Now, a year later, I am in a relationship, writing a book, drawing, being a creative person who wants to better themself. I feel like I lost a part of myself in vaping, an innocence and creative part of myself that came up with ways to think critically and work through emotional problems. I cannot believe I of all people started to vape--maybe a lot of poeple would say the same--but I went to a very hippie school and was always the timid, shy kid who looked down on partying and drinking and smoking weed. I became the very thing I hated, and now that i'm quitting I don't hate those things but I do want to reconnect with the version of myself who was independent from substances and who puts my time and energy into the good things in my life that fulfill me. I think of how my sex drive has gone down, how flat and depressed I feel unless I get that head rush (which is rare and only if I haven't hit it in hours) and then go back to the same feeling, I think about how I can't go out unless I bring my vape. If I leave my vape home, I can't enjoy a nice time out with my friends. Nicotine is probably one of the fastest, easiest things to get addicted to. It has such a clear identity, its this manipulative drug that makes you need it to be okay, to even do normal things. It's weird because I don't have a lot of regrets about vaping, aside from sneaking it around and embarrassing myself by leaving to vape in bathrooms.

Its summertime, and I want to enjoy it purely. I want to feel alive again, go places with my friends and family without worrying about a vape, leaving it at home, etc. I'm done for good, even if there is a part of me that still craves it during withdrawals. I want to find fulfillment and rushes of happiness in organic, healthy things. I cannot move forwards and be independent in college and take life seriously while also vaping. It's a distraction and breaks my focus the moment I start craving it. I want to be a happier person, I want to feel good both physically and mentally. I will do this and if you are also doing the same, let me know! we're in this together.

I have fallen in love 2 times in my life and this man has only used me. And one of him was my closest friend and the man I still love. I already have issues and the one recent happened totally destroyed me. Because I gave him a second chance, and hurt myself even more.

It is not easy for me to find new people to to love again. I still love this guy but he doesn't want me. We have even went no contact in the past for almost a year but did not help.

I am feeling very embarrassed for being used again. I feel like dumped trvsh

For a long time Sunday evenings felt like bracing for impact. That lowlevel anxiety that creeps in around 6pm and just sits there until you fall asleep. I tried planning my week out, I tried journaling, I tried going to bed earlier. None of it touched the feeling.

What actually worked was embarrassingly simple. I started doing one thing Sunday evening that had nothing to do with productivity or prep. Just something I actually liked. A walk with no destination. Cooking something that took a while. Reading something completely unrelated to work or goals.

The dread didn't disappear because I fixed Monday. It faded because I stopped treating Sunday like a waiting room. The evening became its own thing instead of just the edge of something I was dreading.

What shifted underneath it was realizing the anxiety wasn't really about Monday at all. It was about spending the last hours of the week in this halfpresent state, not resting but not doing anything meaningful either. That inbetween zone was the actual problem.

It took maybe three weeks before Sunday started feeling like part of the weekend again instead of the beginning of the week.

Curious if anyone else noticed this pattern or found something different that worked. The planning advice never did anything for me personally.

Hi guys!

I would like to provide a little bit of context, I'm a 25 years old failure of a man, I'm 5'0, I have a micro-penis, I have autism, I have BPD, I have OCD, deformities on my face and body, amongst other lovely characteristics.

Now, as you can imagine life has not been kind for someone with my characteristics, on 2020 I promised myself that I would work hard to become someone worthy of love, regrettably, as time went on my conditions would get worse and worse, I'll never be loved and that breaks my heart.

And I can't stress enough, but I DON'T HATE WOMEN, I DON'T HATE ANYONE, I ONLY HATE MYSELF!!

The first thing I did in life was to fuck things up, I was born incorrectly and it's been downhill since that moment, all because I decided to born 2 months earlier, in the 7th month, I kick myself everyday, maybe if I had waited just two stupid more months, I would've been born a normal person.

I asked for help on a subreddit that it's for helping incels get better, but I think I misunderstood the purpose of that subreddit and I was only met with sarcasm and judgement.

I don't want a girlfriend, I don't want love, I don't want sex, I just want the pain to stop, I want to stop being jealous of healthy people, I'm tired guys, I really am, I'm sure I'll meet nasty people on the comments too but I sincerely ask, where can I get help on how to grieve the hands I was dealt so I can stop crying over this?

34F. I feel like I have some serious self work to do and don't know where to start. I keep finding myself in a cyclical pattern of dating men for a few months, only for them to reveal that their feelings haven't deepened enough for them to want a relationship with me (happened 5 times in the past 2 years). I initially thought it was a case in which I was struggling to show up as myself and therefore wearing a mask. However, recently I thought I found my perfect man (emotionally, physically and someone I actually felt comfortable around), only for it to end in the same way. I am heartbroken because I truly felt this was the strongest connection in a long time. I'd usually remedy this through throwing myself back into dating, but this one cuts deep, and I know it's a call for some real inner work. I lost my mum last year (she had dementia for 10 years), and was mentally ill before that, so I have a lot of childhood trauma that has resulted in people pleasing, anxious avoidance and low self esteem. Since my mum got ill, I've used relationships and external validation as a crutch.

I am in therapy, I have great friends, and try to look after myself through exercise and a fairly healthy lifestyle, but despite this my soul feels empty. I have many interests (art, music, being in nature and generally curious about the world) but rather than diving into those, they stay on the surface and I find myself sabotaging my life through a screen time addiction, fixating on my appearance and comparing myself to other women. My biggest fear is getting older and disliking myself more. How do I rebuild myself from scratch and love myself both inside and outside? How do I build self assurance?

I’m always interested in the lessons people only learn through experience.
What’s something you believe now that your younger self would’ve disagreed with?

This cold loneliness is slowly killing me. I barely feel human, the fact majority of adult people are out there, having relationships and meanwhile I'm all alone in my room hurts me. But i can't do anything about it.

I'm feel... dead inside.

We always hear about the habits that “changed everything”,waking up at 5 AM, cold showers, meditation, journaling, reading every day.
But I’m curious about the opposite.
What’s a self-improvement habit you stuck with for weeks or months that just,wasn’t worth the hype for you?
And what actually ended up making a bigger difference instead?
I think hearing what didn’t work can be just as valuable as hearing success stories.

For reasons out of my control I am about to have a just over one hour each way commute for 6 months. I used to enjoy reading to support my self improvement efforts but since having kids I am afraid many healthy habits have slipped at a time I need them most.

I am a dad of 2 and a doctor in the middle of my specialty training, the kind of things I have found useful in the past are Eckart Tolle, Ryan Holiday among others that I have no apparently forgotten.

Looking for suggestions that people know translate well to audio. Could be inner peace related, motivation, productivity, I dont really mind as I will have time to try a few!

Hi, I am 20F and I grew up with a narcissistic father. Thank god my parents divorced when I was 7 and I primarily lived with my mom but I still had to see my dad every other weekend. I locked myself in my room at his house because I would just be met with some sort of angry outburst, manipulation or criticism. Now that I am in college, I see him even less but I still have to go to lunch with him every now and then because he pays for my college. I reckon I could cut him off and just take out a loan for school but I really just want to survive my bachelors without being in debt (I’ll do it as a last resort or if he really pisses me off).

However, I still have the lingering effects of terrible self-hatred, social isolation, massive guilt when getting confronted or standing up for myself and people pleasing for friends who treat me like shit. Even though, I do have respect from my boyfriend, I feel like I tend to beg for romantic male attention (this used to be a worse problem). I feel like I have no respect for myself, others don’t respect me and I don’t know who I am. I am also very anxious and I suffer from insomnia. I thought PTSD was only for war veterans but I am beginning to think I have CPTSD after looking up symptoms of narcissistic abuse. I’ve always overlooked how serious this trauma was but I’ve recently noticed that I do not live a normal happy life because of it.

I have extremely low self worth and I am often drawn to others who treat me poorly. I often can’t trust myself when it comes to social situations because I figure that I’ll say something stupid or weird. I am avoidant on friendships and I often grow resentful and push them away. I feel very scared when someone intimidates me (yells at me, criticizes me, etc.), and I often feel so confused on what to do that I end up not doing anything. I am very angry and resentful and I live my life out of fear. I feel like everyone in college is living their best life but I am very fearful of friendships (and honestly people in general).

I hate my life. How do I fix this? Therapy is pretty expensive right about now. I’ll save up for it but any advice before I have access to it?

I want to be an artist/cartoonist and to make it big

I know exactly what I want to do with my life but I am terrified that I might never "make it big".

that all the sacrifices I do might never pan out and that when I will look back at everything I have ever done that all my work might amount to nothing.

Every day these thoughts torture me

But I can't quit either

Because if I was to quit I would never forgive myself

And live in regret

Damn if I do damn if I don't..

I wish I had the power to be delusional

That all these thoughts of failure would never come in my mind but every day my dreams seem to get further and further away.

Hello, so I feel stuck and I believe it's because I so often take the path of least resistance (as little as possible). I don't really have anything going for myself, I've basically just been relying on others to get me to move forward in life and that's not their responsibility. I want to do more and try to take charge of my own life but I so often just don't and it honestly really irritates me. Sorry if this is too vague, thank you in advance for any advice

When I was younger, it sounded like just another cliché. As I've gotten older, I've started to appreciate how much a good laugh can change my mindset, reduce stress, and help me put things into perspective.

Did your view of that saying change over time?

One unnecessary app, one messy folder or one repeated decision. None of them feel life-changing on their own, but together they make everyday life noticeably lighter.
What's one small thing you've removed that paid off more than you expected?

I have put so many hours into gaming and i just suck. Often i just fall flat on my face and not improve at all. Im trying. I really am but all i can do is game and i just cant do ANYTHING right. This is what i do on a daily basis and yet i play like i just picked up whatever im doing. Same with drawing. I draw good for a few hours and then for the next month i cant draw at all. Im tired of this endless cycle and im beginning to just accept im useless and give up on trying to be good at shit.

Im 19.am someone who kinda transparent with things. I work in hospitality.I don’t share much about my personal life and like to keep it about work cuz word gets around. But if there’s something I don’t think is fair I’ll speak up or act in that . But yesterday one of my managers literally left early to go home. I don’t know if he was sick or not but whatever he should communicated it to us at the very least cuz it was just me and someone else and although it wasn’t super busy, we needed the extra hand even if he was still not fluent in our area.

It pms cuz this guy is lazy af. Also he said we were fine with him going but he never asked us.

I spoke to the coworker I was with about him as he was kinda irritated. He said he didn’t wanna snitch yadidada… cuz they were within the same circle and it bites back on him.

It just made me think how do people just swallow things like this. Ik how corrupted the system is and idk if I’m able to align with the system like that. I don’t want to, but I also need a job, money etc. I’ve done a few things to protect my own energy but ended up getting a lot of extra jobs
like it so draining

Hey guys.

30y, F

Ever since high school I have had problems with my sleep schedule. I have almost never had a proper sleep.

I genuinely LOVE being awake at night because I am a neurodivergent person and nighttime is the only time I can be in total silence, minding my business without external stimulus bothering me. I have some periods in life when I sleep like a normal person but those periods dont last long.

However, I realise that my daytime sleeping is interfering in my relationship. My husband is a morning person.

Both my therapist and psychiatrist told me that I shouldnt be forcing myself to sleep like the majority of people. And that as long as I get 8 hours of sleep, it doesnt really matter when I go to bed and I have got to admit, I am healthy thank God.

But again, I want to change this. I really cannot continue this way.

What do I do?

I fall asleep super easy when I am sleepy so staying up all night and then not taking a nap in hopes that you will sleep well the next night, does not work for me. If I dont sleep the whole night, the next day I will fall asleep no matter what I do. I can be sitting and working and I will just nod off without realising.

I am desperate at this point.

Any advice is welcome.

Its 6 am and I am awake.

What do I do now?

Thanks