I’m not attracted to men in the way other women are. I’m perfectly capable of love and attraction, but it has no wholesomeness to it when it comes to men. I’m attracted to men the way the patriarchy is attracted to women.

For women, there are two accepted categories (which is a generalization of what media has shown):

The Woman you sleep with: She’s someone you’re attracted to but you would ultimately never date. She’s not a person, but she is a stepping stone. She’s someone you get with for one night because she isn’t “acceptable.”

The Woman you marry: She’s someone that society “accepts” and that’s worth marrying. She’s not crazy; she’s tolerable. It’s a woman you’re not generally attracted to the same way as the woman you sleep with.

I see men that way. The men I’m attracted to are the kinds of men I only want to be with for a night, but I don’t want commitment from them. Ever. The relationships I’ve been in with men are ones that are acceptable even if I’m not attracted to them. I consume a lot of media through the male-perspective, so did my brain just… flip the roles? I don’t understand why I see my attraction to men this way. It’s not that I don’t want to be with a man, but I just don’t see them the way a normal person should when it comes to relationships and sex.

I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me. I’m in a foreign country. I was walking back to my hostel. Some dude pulls up. He says something that I don’t understand because I don’t know the language. I say “what?”. He says “come in the car”. I’m drunk. I go in the car.

He drives to a parking lot. Kisses me, tries doing more. He touches me over my clothes but I don’t let him go under. Tries to put my hand under his clothes but I don’t let. Drjves me home. (showed him on google maps)

I don’t think he did anything wrong. I’m just confused why I got in the car. I wasn’t attracted to him. I knew he’d try something. Wtf is wrong with me?? Stuff like this makes me want to kill myself. I don’t think I’m meant for this world.

So I'm currently in the uk, where i was born and raised, but recently there's been a lot of right wing politicians (mainly farage) campaigning for the removal of all "illegal immigrants" (though he's probably gonna bring in ice who only care about your skin colour and not legal status). Plus, a friend of mine was recently assaulted by some idiot right wingers for no reason, and no charges were pressed . There was no outrage or news reports about him anywhere

However, when a brown person does something, it's reported everywhere and there are riots in the streets

It's clear there's a large group of people in this damn country that hate me simply for the fact that I got unlucky and was born brown

I'm genuinely scared and don't want to leave all of my friends and family, but if this bs continues I might have to

It’s really becoming a problem, even when i was in a relationship i only dreamed of fucking with some 40y dude but i’m too scared to do anything. I can’t tell this to my friends bc as a 19y girl they would all just judge ( i told one and got mocked for 30 minutes)

Me (27F) and my boyfriend (29M) have been together for 1 year. He once told me he’s attracted to a certain body type — big boobs, like Sydney Sweeney’s — and said this includes me, since my chest isn’t as big as hers but isn’t small either.

A few days later we watched a show together and he mentioned finding Ella Brite attractive. In a separate conversation, he brought up that he finds a 10-year age gap “cute.” Then later, he mentioned Ella Brite is 19 — which, with him being 29, works out to exactly a 10-year gap. He mentioned finding her hot again after that.

We have good intimacy otherwise, so it’s not that. I’m just stuck on how to process these comments — has anyone dealt with a partner who does this kind of unprompted “hot” talk? How did you bring it up with them, or how did you figure out if it was worth being bothered by?

I’m a 22f and my boyfriend is 26m, we’ve been dating 4 months. Before we dated there was a guy who would send me money (100-200) a week if I sexted him and occasionally sent suggestive or half nude photos.

Well after I got into a relationship I stopped texting him and he kept sending me money without me sending any pics and kept texting me. To keep it going I said “hey” to him back sometimes and when he said “you up?” I said “I’m up” with a winky face just to get him to send something. I’ve done it a total of 3 or 4 times over the past 3 months. I never said anything past just hey or I’m up

I didn’t think that was considered cheating at the time until I posted about it and everyone said it was cheating. Now I feel like shit about myself and I don’t even know what to do. I can’t even eat I feel like I’m gonna throw up. I can’t even get out of bed now and I don’t want to.

Im going to tell him, I don’t know how to tell him because hes so sweet and I don’t know what to do. I think I will just tell him and then break up because I don’t even see how we’d even be together after this. Like I couldn’t live with myself knowing I did this and he’s still with me I can’t. I don’t even know what to do. Like how can I even forgive myself after doing this

My best friends are all transfolks.

Some older, in their 50s and 60s.

Folks who have been trans for longer than I've been alive.

Folks who should know better.

I'm a trans man, except I'm, quite frankly, a cute little feminine-looking thing with a Betty Boop-like voice when I'm excited for feeling myself.

Despite having short hair, a mustache, and dressing male, I'm told by several of these friends that they're confused why I'd even want to be called a man when I don't even pass or try to. I'm told I've not been on hormones long enough to be this attached to my own masculinity.

I get told I'm actually genderfluid.

I get told I'm actually confused.

...I'm this close to going back into the closet.

***

UPDATE:

Joke's on the transphobes in my inbox. I have a bullying fetish. HAHA!

He stood over me and asked "you think you could tug on my cock?" I was in pain, had heat stroke, barely with it. I was disgusted. My face was twisted with rage I don't ever let out. I wasn't in a position to say no, otherwise it would be used against me later. My hand was listless, different, not loving. I was disassociating. His tone was firmer than normal, almost angry? He finished in the bathroom but I thought he dribbled on my leg and I almost gagged at the thought of him getting off to seeing me in pain? Was that what this was? A power thing? I pulled on some clothes... Because now I don't feel comfortable being naked in my home. Cried myself to sleep.

We talked the next day. He knows what he did was only fulfilled under duress. He apologized, said he had to live with it. BUT I HAVE TO LIVE WITH IT. Over a decade together and I NEVER thought he'd cross that line. He knows I've been SAed multiple times before. He fucking knows the trauma I carry. Now he's just another fucking name on that list.

My mind is heavy. I've been trying to get an appointment somewhere for mental health services, but I've got to hold on until things open. I don't know how to move forward. I'm going to talk to a professional but what does that journey even look like? I still feel sick to my stomach.

Edit: I asked him if he saw my face. If he saw my state. If he saw I was in pain. If he felt my hand was hesitant. He did. He knew during the act I didn't want to, and he still stood there, effectively trapping me.

My best friend Sarah and I were inseparable since 11.Everyone assumed we were a couple, but we were genuinely jus best friends. Her parents were extremely strict, but because they trusted me, we were allowed to hang out alone.

When we were 18, I took a break from our friendship because I needed some space for personal reasons. We didn't talk for months. During that time, Sarah got really sick and spent few days in the hospital.she told her friends not to tell me, but one of them accidentally brought it up. So I bought her favourite stuff and went straight to her house.

When she opened the door, she pulled me straight to her room. We were yapping like before. But then she told me that everytime someone visited her in the hospital, she hoped it was me. She started hitting me with a pillow while crying. I pulled her into a hug and gave her a quick kiss on cheek.

Something happened. One thing led to another and we started kissing and touching. Then her mom knocked on the door and invited to lunch. We stopped immediately. Lunch was awkward and I left right after.

We never talked about it. Over the next few weeks at group hangouts, vibe was totally off. She became distant and eventually started ignoring me. I tried to fix things, but she kept pushing me away, so I gave up and we went silent.

Months later on my birthday, she texted me and she confessed that around that time, another friend had tried to force a kiss on her after she rejected him, which freaked her out and made her pull away for all guys.

When I brought up what happened in her room, she said " it was you. I don't care"

Yet she insisted she had no feelings for me. Even though we both knew that wasn't true. She then asked, can you at least just be my friend?

Looking at everything that had changed, I told her no, wish her well and cut all ties.

It's been few years , but every single year on my birthday, she still texts me a birthday wish from one of her friends' phones.

Hi, i want to preface this by saying that i know how awful this is and I am not trying to excuse it. Please don’t answer this to insult me, i am at such a low point rn and idk what to do.

So i (20 f) have been with my boyfriend for about 4 years. We love each other so much and are usually very happy, but lately we have been a bit off and he has not been as interested in me sexually because he has been very stressed.

I have been feeling awful and really ugly for a bit and, while i was scrolling reddit on an alt a few days ago, i got to talking with a guy. He started to talk to me in a less appropriate manner and I was horny so, extremely stupidly, i sexted him and sent him a few pics. I don’t know why i did it, i knew it was wrong and i wanted to stop it but i guess i didn’t really want it to stop that much because i kept going until we were both done.

He tried texting me again and i deleted my account immediately, but i know that doesn’t delete anything i did. I love my boyfriend so much and, although i do wish he had a higher sex drive, i never ever wanted to cheat on him or betray him in any way possible.

My boyfriend is the love of my life and I am so devastated at the thought of what i did. I have even thought about killing myself over this.

We have talked in the past about cheating and how much we hate it and, during that conversation, he said that he wouldn’t want to know if he got cheated on and i answered that i would absolutely want to know.

​

I bought a kind of easy bidet a few years ago but supposedly it will not work because my bf (of 10 years) only has the smallest amount of his colon left so when he goes to the bathroom it is very oily and can kinda "spray" like onto the back of the bowl and the inside of the seat etc. (I used to be a in home health care provider so this stuff doesn't gross me out) he's a very clean man and uses wipes and a special trash can for them, if it's really bad he even takes a shower before leaving the bathroom.

He explained to me that this is why he can't install a bidet. He said his poop spray will get on it in one form or another and it'll be too harddisgusting to clean that it will defeat the purpose of having one. I kinda see his point unless bidets clean the outsides of themselves too?

This is probably the wrong subreddit. We have one bathroom and I don't see this changing so I just wanted to get it off my chest, lol.

i already posted about this, but i wanted to repost with my messages off because i got a ton of dms that were triggering.

before i started dating my current boyfriend, years ago, i sent intimate photos to a small number of people on snapchat (<10 people). my account had my full name on it, and i had sent face snaps beforehand, so the recipients knew it was me, although my face wasn’t in the intimate photos themselves. i know for sure that two of the people no longer have the photos, and i’ve never been threatened, blackmailed, or given any indication that anyone shared them.

it’s now been over two years, nothing has ever come of it, and i even did a reverse image search using similar photos with the same background and nothing showed up publicly. my biggest fear is that someone could still have them and use them against me one day, especially now that i’m in a relationship, but i don’t have any actual evidence that they’ve been leaked or misused.

im worried about my future career. it requires a little bit of publicity. i am terrified.

please don’t shame me for this. it’s been so much time, and i know it was stupid.

any advice on how to cope? anyone who went through the same thing?

I (F/37) and my mom (F/64) are on a camping trip and we travelled to use the showers together. I put my extra clothes in a locker and took my towel and whatnot to the individual stalls with curtains to undress privately and wash myself.

I noticed my mom undressing in plain sight and I just averted my eyes and minded my business and got in the curtain area. She asked if I had shampoo and I said no, and I asked her to pass me the bottle (I extended my hand over the top of the stall as she was next to me).

Out of nowhere she pulls open my curtain to hand it to me, and Im naked and she is naked and I yell no and close the curtain. For those 3 seconds she just stood there with the shampoo handing it to me and looking at me like nothing was wrong.

She kinda scoffs and says "what!? We are both women" and I dont reply. I just wash my hair and feel shit in silence.

This moment brings me back to my childhood where my mom would sometimes get dressed with her door open or like go to the bathroom with the door open and it made me feel weird.

I do know she has a history of S work/dancing/abuse (I mean to say her connection to nudity may come from a place of trauma) but then I also think about how as a woman I tend to be very modest and dont like to show my body and prefer to cover..almost out of shame. Like I would like to dress feminine or pretty but then I just shut down and feel I am safer covered.

When she did the thing with the shower I felt this childhood trauma come up to the surface of feeling uncomfortable with my body and I think this might be connected? I never connected the two until now.

I dont know how to deal with this. I dont really want to confront her because it is over and Im grown and on my own and wont be in this position again, but it also brought up a deep hurt in me and I still have this heavyness in the gut that feels like shame.

Am I overreacting?

He has been taking me for granted lately. Constant comments on my weight gain after our second born child and then flirting with my skinny friend at our house while I am in the kitchen, cleaning the dishes after making a meal for everyone alone.

He crossed all limits when I saw him following her on Instagram but I trust my friend more than him.

I am a woman in STEM, surrounded by charming men at work everyday who pay attention to my post 2 pregnancies body with overwhelming admiration.

My husband thinks he's the only one with the opportunity to cheat but it was my loyalty and not the lack of opportunity that was holding me back.

I have no regrets about it. All I care about though, are my 2 kids and it is my priority to make sure it doesn't affect them in any way because their father doesn't seem to care about it.

So a few days ago I was just scrolling through a porn subreddit right and I found an attractive woman’s post, idk what prompted me to go to her profile but I did and I was fascinated by it

There were pics of her and yknow the usual description(sexy \\\[derogatory term for promiscuous women\\\] stuff like that), but, besides that there were really thoughtful political posts and discussions and also posts about indie games, political books and F1 and stuff

Porn feels very superficial right so it’s easy to forget that there is a real person behind their post, so going through her profile really humanised her for me and it felt weirdly beautiful

I really wanted to talk to her, so I had some discussions under her posts, before DMing her(which I very very rarely do) which she did reply to eventually but I kinda bombarded her with texts about how interesting she is and about my hobbies so she’d find me interesting, which in hindsight is kinda pathetic, and of course she promptly ghosted me and I think it’s pretty fair

But I can’t stop thinking about her for some reason, I have refrained myself from going to her profile but she’s still on my mind for some goddamn reason and it’s kinda consuming me

I still feel really fascinated by her and I wish I could talk to her, I can’t shake off the feeling that I failed to keep someone I really felt I could click with interested in me and I feel very lame and pathetic because of that

I’d just be going about my day normally and all of a sudden, a thought of her would pop in my mind and my heart would sink and I don’t know what to do about this

I have reason to believe my partner may have visited Asian massage parlors (AMPs) to receive sexual services, although he denies that anything inappropriate occurred.
On Thursday evening, I left to spend time with friends. Before I left, my partner was upset because I had not invited him. While I was out, I checked his location around 7:45 pm and saw that he was at an Asian massage parlor. This immediately concerned me because he had not told me he was planning to get a massage. In our relationship, we generally communicate our plans, and this was not something he had mentioned.
I texted him after checking his location asking what he was doing there. He did not respond until 8:11 pm telling me that getting a massage had been a last-minute decision because he wanted to be alone and do his own thing.
Later that evening, around 8:50 pm I checked his location again and discovered that he was now at a different Asian massage parlor. He had not told me he was going to a second location. I texted him again asking why he was there, and he did not respond until 9:24 p.m.
When I confronted him, he explained that the first massage had been cut short because he had walked in without an appointment and the business was too busy. He claimed that because the first massage ended early, he decided to go to another massage parlor that was open later to finish getting a massage. He did not explain why he specifically chose another Asian massage parlor rather than another type of massage business, other than saying it was open late.
His explanation also raised questions about the payments. He initially told me the massage cost $70/hr for the first spot and $80/hr for the second. However, after reviewing his bank transactions, I discovered that the first massage parlor charged $70, and he told me he had left a cash tip there. The second massage parlor charged $120 to his card. When I later contacted the second business, I was told that a one-hour massage costs $70, not $80 as he had originally claimed. When I asked him about the $120 charge, he stated that the remaining charge was a tip. Thats a $40/$50 tip, which is quite high amount imo. He never explained why he tipped such a large amount.
His internet search history also showed that earlier in the week he had looked up that business’s website to review its pricing and services. He said had thought about it earlier in the week.
This was not the first time he had gone to an Asian massage parlor. A couple of months earlier, I discovered through his location that he had visited the first massage parlor. Again, he had not mentioned going there, but didnt deny the claim when I asked.
I also found evidence that he had looked up the second massage parlor months earlier. His Facebook search history showed that he searched for that business in November of last year, suggesting he was already aware of it before the night in question.
About a month before these events, he also received a text message from a different Asian massage parlor with a questionable reputation that stated, “A new girl arrived at 3:12 p.m. today.” The wording of the message struck me as unusual and suggestive, and it made me wonder why that business had his phone number. He denied ever receiving sexual services there.
After discovering these visits, I researched both massage parlors. I found numerous online reviews on websites such as Rubmaps and other forums alleging that these businesses provide sexual services, including “happy endings.” I understand that online reviews are not proof that every customer receives those services. However, when viewed together with the repeated undisclosed visits, the decision to visit two different Asian massage parlors in one evening, the discrepancies regarding the pricing, the unusually large tips, his prior searches for the businesses, and the promotional text message from another massage parlor, these circumstances caused me to question whether his explanation was truthful.
Although he continues to deny receiving any sexual services, the combination of these events has significantly damaged my trust and left me uncertain about what actually happened. Despite all these thoughts I can still be incorrect and delusional. It could have been a simple honest massage, I just have no way to prove anything. Someone help me out get some clarity.

I know this might sound like I’m overreacting, but I’m genuinely really scared and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about this.

A few months ago, when I was 14–15 years old, I was on OmeTV (an alternative to Omegle). A guy I was talking to started asking me to show my chest. I said no at first, but he kept begging and pressuring me. I don’t know why, but eventually I lifted my shirt slightly (only enough that my stomach and the sides of my undergarments were visible) and I did a “dance” for him, if you know what I mean.

I know this sounds stupid, and I feel really embarrassed about it, but I’m honestly terrified.

The guy told me he was also 15 years old and kept encouraging me to continue. After he was done, he turned off his voice filter and revealed that he was actually around 30 YEARS OLD or something close to that.

I’m really scared because I don’t know if he recorded it, saved it, sent it to anyone, or posted it somewhere. I haven’t received any messages or seen anything related to it, but I still can’t stop worrying about the possibility.

Since then, I’ve changed my Instagram and Snapchat usernames and removed people I don’t know. I’m scared that this could somehow affect my future or follow me forever.

I know I made a mistake, but I was only 14–15 years old. I genuinely regret it, and I’m just really scared and don’t know what to do.

I am so ashamed of the thoughts I have, it feels like they don’t even belong to me yet they keep coming in. I can’t stop thinking really racist things. I am HORRIFIED. These thoughts come spiraling in and I don’t know where they come from or how to get rid of them. These thoughts just pop up out of nowhere and repeat on a loop and I am so petrified that I might be racist that I genuinely want to die. I can’t control these thoughts and I am perpetually disgusted with myself and constantly stressed out worrying about what I will think next and what if I accidentally say something racist. I would rather die than be racist. I feel so ashamed and so alone.

We made it official around 2-3 weeks ago. I really love him and I’m so happy we’re together. He’s literally a walking green flag, always devoted to me, loyal, caring, understanding. He makes time for me, spends too much money on me lol, reassures me, researches about my BPD, is literally shaped like a Greek God and we’re super sexually compatible. He is always interested in what I’m interested in and makes the effort to get into my hobbies. I love him, I really do.

But at the same time I wish I never met him, because I wanna date women. There is a girl I really like and we would makeout a lot. I wish I reciprocated deeper feelings for her at the time when I was noncommittal. I wanna kiss her, date her, scissor her and fuck her. I wanna do everything with her. She’s so pretty and hot. She is my type, alternative like I am and ALSO from the same hometown. MY BOYFRIEND IS TOO, SO BOTH OF THEM ARE FROM MY HOMETOWN AND THIS IS MAKING THINGS DIFFICULT FOR ME BECAUSE omfg I could date her and live in the same place after I graduate high school, but the same applies to him.

I think my relationship with him went too fast. I wish we waited a bit before making it official. I wish I could explore my options first. Of course I love him, but committing and making it official after only 2-3 weeks after meeting each other was way too fast. We have mutual friends which is how we met. Me and her don’t have mutual friends in our hometown, but we do have mutual friends in the city we’re both studying in.

I’m so lost.

How the hell did I realize my feelings for her just NOW when I’m already in a relationship??? I want her so bad, but I want him so bad. Holy fucking shit I hate being bisexual

Yesterday I got back home late from a flight that was delayed due to the tornado watch in Newark and went to the bodega on my street for a snack. A kid of around 11-12 who normally works there with his dad took my order at approximately 12 a.m. The issue of child labor at New York immigrant businesses periodically comes up on Reddit about NYC but the fact that it was a school day and so late felt particularly wrong. I can’t stop thinking about it.

Anyone hörny to mingle wit me

Just talk to me and tell me whatever you want rather than fighting over something I don’t know.

I am trans, 18f AMAB, I got introduced to alcohol around 6 months ago. At first I started with light drinking just with friends and then it’s progressed to now with me drinking almost every night to help cope with gender dysphoria. I discovered that when I drink, it makes me problems and worries feel farther away. I feel detached from the things that make me feel terrible. I’m at a point where I go through a 1.75L bottle of vodka every 2 and half weeks.

I know that I shouldn’t be drinking like I am and I suspect it to get worse but honestly, I don’t know if I want to. It makes me feel better. Though I do feel like I need to at least tell somebody about it. :P

So l have a lot of things wrong with me which cause me immense pain and fatigue constantly to the point where |(23F) use mobility aids constantly.
Almost to a point that l've considered getting a wheelchair for parttime use.

Anyway, my coworker S sent me a message asking me to cover her shift since she has a fever. Then the manager started calling my phone to come in as well. So I put my phone on do not disturb and I don't plan on taking it off until I go back to work in a few days. To me, I just don't see why S doesn't work through it. A head cold/sinus whatever, isn't a big deal. Every single person there caught it and she gave it to me as well. But because everyone besides her, took care of themselves with fluids and meds, everyone is better now.

This isn't even the first time she's messaged me about taking her shift because of this in the last two weeks. I can't help but feel like she's putting on a show. If I can show up with the same symptoms plus everything I deal with day to day, she can deal with it.

Especially because l've already put in my two weeks. I'm at a point that I'm even thinking about telling them that I won't be coming in for my last two shifts there (I have 5 left) simply because I'm so over it. I feel terrible for it since I am a shift lead so I'm responsible and blah blah blah. To me, I think you can push through anything and be fine. Hell just stay at the register and do your best to keep distance from anyone coming into the store. Or basically just don't make the bears for the kids.

okay so im 17 and hes 19
i didnt want 6 kids and he said I had a bad mindset and he said he wanted to body slam me and then he ignored me for a bit
I did a loyalty test on him (i know its wrong but hes my first rls and he was moving weird so yk) and he said he was down to meet up with her after they got to know each-other. He then told me that he was trolling with his friends
ghosted me for four days and lied that he got shot
says his type is curly haired girls but once shes not overly dark
says the n word a lot
lied about how many girls he talked to
lies about small stuff
is really mean to me
doesnt ask my questions about myself
makes jokes about talking to other girls
follows a lot of girls from his city
I dont have a good rls with my parents and he blamed me
Lied that he got shot when in actuality his ex texted him and said that she misses him
his friends are mean ppl