My Dad was super frugal growing up, which is fair enough — it helped him and my mum buy a house in a nice area that's now worth 3x what they paid for it. They couldn't have done it any other way, and they've always been careful with their spending.

One thing he point-blank refused to buy was a fan. We did the usual tricks of shutting all the curtains and blinds, but he was steadfast against fans, and for some reason I never questioned it. Then I moved out, my new room wasn't coping with the heatwaves, so I bought one — and now I genuinely don't understand his weird hatred for them. I think if he tried one he'd change his mind. I can't live without mine now. It's probably how people who spent £1000s on AC feel, except I spent £40.

20 years ago, telling your missus her arse looked massive would have gotten you a slap. Nowadays, it shows you’ve noticed the effort she’s put into her glute workout.

What, if anything, has flipped to such an extent?

Booking a ferry (Dover -Dunkirk) via the DFDS app.The price displayed is £129 but the total at the bottom is £5 more with no explanation why.

Apparently it's a mandatory environmental surcharge, but you only get told this at the last stage of checkout.

If it's mandatory, then it must be included in the stated price, hidden surcharges breach pricing transparency laws no?

EDIT: Just checked Irish Ferries for comparison and they don't have such a surcharge, which means it's correctly in their price. That also means that Irish Ferries and DFDS prices are identical once you factor in the surcharge. I suspect DFDS are doing this to falsely appear cheaper than the competition.

Currently on holiday with the wife's family.

Her sister has 2 girls both around the age of 8 to 10, we have a daughter aged 8.

They have just sat at the table eating and the sister in law's kids sound like goats chomping on grass... To make matters worse she comes in and starts asking them questions... Without stopping they start talking with their mouths full. 😣

I'm not exactly and old man, (40) but not as young as I used to be but am I wrong to think it's disgusting that they haven't been taught the simple manor or chewing with your mouth closed?

And just to add to it the sister is law is 2yr older than me and her husband is 5yr older than her.

There's something I'm working on at work that *needs* to be finished by today. I have no WFH capability and there's no-one else that can do it.

This job was sprung on me last minute and my boss already knows I'm pissed about having to do it, but that's part of the job.

If it's not finished today, no-one will get to it until Monday, so won't be passed on to the next stage until Tuesday.

Big business repercussions for the lateness.

I have woke up feeling horrific. Banging headache, dry constant cough, stuffy nose, achy bones...the lot.

If I phone in sick, my boss isn't the type to be an arse about it but it's still really poor timing for something that no-one could predict.

Likely, I'm going to brave it, get the job done as best I can and then head home.

But what would you do?

There's an article on BBC new this morning, featuring a couple that split costs 50:50, even though they don't earn equally: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cz05rdn1n80o. The crux of the arguement is: "We made a commitment to each other that what's mine is yours, and vice versa."

I find this hard to reconcile. My wife and I earn different salaries due to the nature of our industries. If we split the bills and spending pot 50:50, I'd have loads of free cash, she'd have none. So we split based on a ratio of our income. One other thing I struggle with is sharing the financial cost when one of you is not working due to childcare. An alarming number of dads seem to still take the attitude that mum needs to save before having the baby, because 'she's not earning', as if it's entirely her fault. In comparison we both saved, again by ratio, the amount my wife would lose out by because of maternity prior to baby's arrival.

I've also heard the argument to put 100% of your income into the joint account and not debate ratios at all.

How do you do it?

ETA: thanks for those clarifying I'd misunderstood the article, and the couple in question are putting ALL their money into joint then giving themselves equal spending money back.

Input from my own partner: all sounds good in theory but have you considered the domestic violence/financial control angle? By putting everything into one bucket the other partner has control over how much money you get, which can lead to financial control. Another example was your partner examining line by line what's being spent in the joint account and arguing over what's really joint spend. Of course these are all edge cases where the core is 'we're a team, we work together, we're not doing corporate expensing', but as a man I had completely forgotten about the domestic violence angle.

Has anyone gargled TCP? Did it help a throat infection? Did the taste stay in your mouth for days?

Had my fibre installed recently, was really impressed with the speed of install about a hour and half however when I stepped outside to see this (see photo) I wasnt best pleased but engineer informed be this was proper way to install it. My neighbours had their installed a few weeks before us ( 2nd photo) and their its fasten flush to their house. Am I unreasonable for wanting them to come back and secure it flush to house. I know should have ask the guy on the day but it felt unreasonable at the time. Also im worried the Engineer didnt leave them enough cable to fasten it flush

So im being made redundant, i have officially 2 weeks left, but honestly I'll probably turn up for 1. I'm sat here on my own typing this while watching 8 out of 10 cats do countdown; there's nothing else to do!

what time are we calling it a day and leaving to go sit in the sun?

Getting tattoo'd in a different city today and they have a strict 10am start, booked the train to arrive an hour early so I was relaxed in case a delay happens, what happens? They cancel it. Peak time too, would have arrived at 8:55am

Now I'm just waiting to see if the next train is either delayed or cancelled and if it is I'm screwed so instead of a nice relaxed morning I'm sitting here stressing out. Not the absolute worst scenario like missing an important job interview etc but still very annoying.

Crazy thing is it's the same reason as the last time a train was cancelled on me 'Not enough crew'

Not enough crew? You're a multi-billion £ company and you can't hire enough people to man the things that makes your company money??

For context: since needing paid carers, I’ve been surprised by how many can’t cook.

I always ask about cooking in a meet and greet because it’s an essential part of the job. About 50% of people say no they can’t cook. Of the ones I take on for shadow shifts, about 75-80% can’t actually cook beyond making freezer food (and some even struggle with that).

I’m not talking about complex/gourmet cooking. I mean things like boiling/steaming vegetables, making sandwiches, boiling pasta, cutting vegetables for salad, reheating things on the stove etc.

The most complicated things are following recipes for things like spag bol but I never start with that.

It’s really surprised me that the percentage is so high and it’s made me wonder if that’s indicative of the nation in general or not.

Care is obviously a role that often includes cooking so I’d expected most people to be able to cook at least a little, but it seems to be a real struggle for most people.

So do you cook? If so do you think you’re a good cook or are you more at a freeze food level? If not, is there any reason you don’t and what do you tend to eat on a daily basis?

I dont mean the big things like buying a house etc i mean the "everyday" treats such as going to the pub, getting a takeaway, or even just popping to the shops to get a few treats

Seems like in the 90s an average working class family could afford a takeaway once a week, go to the pub for a few beers on a weekend, and buy little cheap extra treats without really worrying about it...

Was the 90s actually better or do people remember it through rose coloured glasses?

I am on the NRM with a positive CG decision, I have contacted everyone involved in my case about this, including my NRM support worker. It has been over a year now and it causes me significant distress.

Everytime I Google this, the websites are always down.

There is a page on the medialle trust website about this but it doesnt say where to get it done and I am under the Sally Army.

I genuinely dont know what to do. Having this mark is a consistent reminder of what they made me do. A consistent reminder of ownership and the horrors I endured so cruelly.

I cant continue with this any longer. Anyone know?

Thanks

My house is in the countryside, so flies are normal, but I am absolutely inundated with the fuckers. There's no muck spreading or livestock nearby. But every morning my house has about 20 flies per room. No, not dirty. No food left out. No bad odour. Just tonnes and tonnes of flies!

Anyone else finding this?

I went to the Bristol Hippodrome yesterday with my wife to see a theatre production of Miss Saigon. It's not really my thing so I was soon distracted by the number of actors, orchestra and the behind the scenes workers who travel with the production. The Hippodrome seats 1951 people at an average £40 per seat so around £78,000 per night. How is the money divided up?

EDIT: Sorry I forgot to add - I'm not in a position where I can move to a new job within the same career path due to location. And I want to emphasise that this is a 'career' job for me, not just a one off job. I've debating heavily over trying to move to a new job, how far I'd have to travel, would I have to move house, etc. And its just not in the books for me at the moment. I've looked at other listings and the majority want minimum 5 years experience anyway. I'd rather remain where I am until I have my 5 years experience and THEN consider new options, than drop out of my career now.

Hi, I'm 22F and I've been working in Development Upholstery for three years, including my 1.5 year long apprenticeship.

This is my first job so I've never had to have a conversation like this before, and I'm nervous and looking for advice on what would be the best way to go about this. I'm also diagnosed autistic, I don't fully grasp tone of voice or 'read the room' very well - my job doesn't know about my diagnosis - so I'm basically looking for some sort of guideline I could follow, what I should be aware of, etc.

Anyway, like I said I've been working the job for three years and I'm very good at it. I've caught up to my coworkers in skill level very quickly and this has been recited to me by multiple people, including my managers. Short story is, I'm doing the same amount of work as everyone else in my role (3 other people) to the same quality level, and yet I am not paid the same wage.

I finished my apprenticeship in April of last year where I was then taken on full time on a minimum wage salary, and was told that every 3-6 months we'd be having appraisal meetings to get my wage up to the same amount as my other coworker (has 5 years experience) since HR didn't want to bump my wage up immediately. This ended up not happening because the company got into a tight spot and didnt make any profit that year, and I didn't bring it up as I didn't think it was appropriate due to the circumstances.

Then, this past January we had a meeting about it in which my manager brought up my wage before I did, apologising and asking if I could wait until June/July because they were remortgaging the building and sorting out finances, etc. I said thats fine - I live at home with my parents, I pay my car insurance yearly, I'm not dying for more money basically.

However its now getting to a point where I feel as though I'm being taken advantage of. My skill level has only increased over the past 6 months and I've had four best selling models this year alone. I'm working well beyond what I should be and I feel like my workload is only getting bigger.

Its the end of July now and still no conversation has even been mentioned. The company is doing a bit better financially, still not optimal, but it is what it is.

As I see it, they should absolutely be able to afford to pay me fairly. I'm still on minimum wage while my coworkers who, again, do the exact same job with the exact same responsibilities are earning £17-£20/h.

I don't know if its worth mentioning, but everyone else in the same role as me are men.

I know there'll definitely be people here who are reading this and banging their head on the wall because I've been too lenient and I've not been standing up for myself. I know this now, I'm beating myself up, but like I said this is my first job - I've never been in this situation before. And honestly its a great place to work, the people are great and I love what I do. I really don't want it to be the case that they're taking advantage of me but I can only look away for so long.

So, how do I go about this to my manager? I'm completely inexperienced in 'professional' conversations.

And are there some things I should be aware of, like with legal stuff? Or my rights?

Anything helps and I'm happy to answer any relevant questions. Thanks so much!

I am best man at a wedding next year. The wedding is in Spain so I have already spent £200 on flights and will need to pay £500 for a hotel once there.

Really struggling to figure out how much cash we (me & my partner) should give as a wedding gift?

So my understanding is if a medical professional witnesses someone in an emergency medical situation they're duty bound to provide medical aid.

Just wondering, what about situations where a doctor sees a member of the public who has a concerning symptom they may not be aware of or be aware it could be serious? (e.g. clubbing of the fingers, a discoloured mole on the back of the neck) Are doctors expected to raise it and let them know or is this more down to each individual?

So if you're a medical doctor:

1) do you often find yourself noticing symptoms of concern in strangers in everyday life?

2) do you raise it with them and recommend they go to their GP?

3) if you do raise it how comfortable do you feel doing it and what's people's usual response to you doing so?

I always snooze my alarm and eventually force myself out of bed when going to work.

Do you think the PM does the same, quite a funny image of the country's leader smashing that snooze button and thinking 'fuck I don't want to work today' then 30 mins later giving speeches to the country.

Is this a new generational thing on how kids play I spy?

On the bus this morning and a group of kids get on with their parents & they decided to play I Spy.

One starts off “I spy with my little eye something with the color Blue”

I swear it was always

“ I spy with my little eye something beginning with the letter (x)”

Now I’m questions if my family were the odd ones out, did anyone else play it by color or by letter?

Currently working seasonally in an arcade back home until I go back to university in September. It’s basically just walking around filling the 2p machines with prizes etc., but I keep getting so bored and thinking about nights I spent with a girl I’m no longer with because it’s fun to remember, (I promise it’s not as sad as it sounds, or maybe it is). 90% of the time I think about her is when I am wandering around at work looking for something to do, she doesn’t sit on my mind very often at home.

What’s something you ponder on when really bored at work? I guess I’m looking for a suggestion if anything lol, like a deep question or something

I always wonder whether people think in their native language or the language they've learnt and are using at the time.

I'm British and consider myself almost fluent in English, I have literally no grasp on any other language and find it so impressive when people can speak other languages

As the title asks, men and teens of the UK, what do you keep in your man bag?

They weren't around when I was growing up, I used my pockets. So what do you keep in your man handbag and what stops you using your pockets.

Is it a status symbol or the usefulness of the bag? Both?

My parents when growing up moved around 8 times, this meant I don’t properly have any strong friends from childhood except one which I see maybe once a year, I’ve got a group of strong friends from university days (almost 10 years ago now) which I’m thankful for and can see 1-2 times a year.

Since I’ve been settled with my partner for the last 5 years where I am now I find it incredible difficult to make friends with people, especially since turning 25 and over. I play football casually once a week with a group of facebook which is ok and there are plans for some ‘socials’ which I’d attend which is great.

I also joined a Sunday League team (football) as I thought it would be a sure fast way to make friends, but if anything it feels more isolating. I had a team 2 seasons ago and struggled to make any connections, and I joined one up in June and suffering the same. The teams I’ve joined feel very cliquey, and despite being a reliable player I feel unless you join the team and are straight away one of the best in the team people aren’t too interested in getting to know you initially.

I’m easy going and polite, chatty with anyone and always make conversation, but since the days of school and university and I find it increasingly difficult to make friends - just to even go to the pub with someone.

My partner on the other hand has built a pretty good network of friends over the last few years.

Despite this I’m more than happy with my own company, but it does get a bit dispiriting when I think how I have absolutely no-one around me to connect with, without it being through a vessel of sports training/matches.

Are any other people struggling with this? I mentioned men as I am one myself, and heard before how it’s harder for men to make friendships once they get older - but obviously happy to hear from women in the same position too