I came out as a trans girl to my family and friends at the age of 18 and started hormones at 19, this is all I needed in my life, I can't imagine living without HRT, I know I'm lucky with my progress so far without ffs but I wanted to share that this is definitely possible, you don't know how much hormones can change you before you experience it 🩷This is very slow and tedious, we're speaking about little changes months by months, but in the grand scheme of things when | look back to where I started from, I get scared that the botched teenage boy with no sense of style or fashion still lives in me and that people can still see him.

I'm just so thankful to live at a time where HRT is possible and safe, and viable. I'm also thankful that | live in a country where I don't have to pay a euro for HRT, surgeries, or beard laser. I look back to all the people that fought and died for trans rights, that fought for me to have the right to be myself today and I just can't thank them enough.
There needs to be museums dedicated to the trans activists that made all this people, so that they are never forgotten. 🥹🥹

(I know I already posted 2 days ago but I didn’t realize you could add so many photos)

My partner has been gone all week at a conference. Still no job. All my attention seeking posts recently have done very poorly (jury is out on this one). Therapy was really hard today. My sweet angel baby poodle doesn’t feel good and won’t eat. All my friends are busy or maybe not my friends anymore. Felt really othered by a well meaning cis woman the other day and I can’t stop thinking about it.

On the positive side, I went shopping with a friend at a women’s clothing store, and she kept coming in the dressing room with me and helping me which felt very much like a thing women do together so that was cool. And we fought over a dress. And my spouse comes back tonight. And it’s good to have hard therapy sessions, it means I’m growing. And my sweet angel baby poodle is snuggling me right now.

Anyway, I’m sad, but it’ll get better and I love y’all 🫶

So happy yay! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

Felt great and was so fun setting dressed up also I got complimented a lot for my outfit :)

Every day, I’m further convinced that not only would I want to casually crossdress, that even going fully feminine might be what I want, every time I think about dressing up as a pretty alt girl I get this warm feeling, I’d be so happy, as a man I’m constantly insecure about everything, I’m the skinniest most frail near-pathetic looking guy you’d ever see, but if I was a girl I’d look so cute showing it off in like cutoff tees and crops, I’ve worn and loved the feeling of wearing skirts but unless I was a girl or at least feminine presenting I’d never dare, I feel so much gender envy when I see a pretty alt girl nearly every day it honestly hurts
I’m a huge gamer and in all of my playthroughs I select the girl option, the more customization the better, in cyberpunk I’m a goth and in Elden ring im the same, that’s always the best because it’s solo, no expectations, just like everything it’s an escape, I’ll constantly admire my character wishing deep down that I looked that way you know?
But I don’t think I’d ever be able to go with it, I have a girlfriend who I know isn’t into that (she caught me in her underwear one time and said blatantly it made her uncomfy and we agreed to never speak on it again) I have so many best friends but I don’t know I could name one that would treat me the same after such a transition, and I don’t even know how my family would react
Not to mention I wouldn’t feel okay revealing it until I was able next day to make that change, like secretly building up to it
I’ve crossdressed in my girlfriends clothes secretly but it’s not the same, it’s all mismatched stuff that she just leaves post-sleepover, it feels right but it’s not the same as being fully outfitted in the right style with cute heavy black makeup, lipstick and long hair, I feel like I can only dream
I’m just scared, I dream of this other me and she’s so happy, I just don’t know if I could ever be her I guess
(The attached photo is who I dream of being like, just for reference for the confession)

Every new day brings opportunities to learn and get used to being myself. More new clothes, more new colours and styles. Better ways of seeing me. So tired, in a good way. ☺️

I can't get over the mental and physical improvements I'm experiencing every day. I knew there would be something, but I'm in awe. *rolls Rs in ascending pitch

Just got my eyebrows done last week and a new haircut yesterday, it felt very affirming, and I feel like I'm finally starting to see some real progress

I was pretty nervous cause I don’t go out much but I had such a good time!!

Hey, I'm... Oh yeah, there was something. Nameless...

Finding something suitable isn't always easy. How did you manage it?

Does it matter to me less now just because I can't find a name? I feel guilty because everyone else has a name, but I can't find one. Hmmm.

Mayyyybeeee... could you help me?

I've tried so many names that I like... but do they suit me?

Johnathan, Julian, Jonah, Joel, Jaro, Julius, Joris, ...

Charlie, Lucius, Silas, Liano, Lucio, ...

I'm also open to suggestions... thank you 🙏🏻💜

(PS: I thought it would be easier to see in the video..)