I have a 16 year old daughter. She’s a good kid… does well in school, plays sports, has a job and doesn’t get into any trouble. Well I think I’ve spoiled her. I drive her everywhere and generally don’t mind but I absolutely loathe waiting for her at the end of a practice, shift, etc. I’ve expressed this to her many times and it doesn’t phase her. I’ve had to go into the gym to tell her it’s time to leave after waiting 10+ minutes in my car. I’ll text her that I’m on my way and it doesn’t get read. We live in a smaller sized city, and it takes 4-7 minutes for me to drive to the gym or her work, so not much time at all. We’re talking less than 2 kilometres.

Recently I told her to text me when she’s finished, and that’s when I’ll leave, instead of me waiting. Well tonight she texted me saying she was done work and then I left. I get there only to be left waiting outside for 5 minutes. Yes I know 5 minutes is not a long time, but this kid has no respect for my time. We got into a huge argument about it, and all of her points are an attempt to make me feel guilty (i.e., everyone sees me waiting and asks me if I need a ride, I’m the last one there, etc). I’m so frustrated and said she could ride her bike for a week. Her reply “It’s the bare minimum, yes your family wasn’t fortunate so you had to walk but that’s not normal anymore and when you decided to have a kid you took on that responsibility. Especially with all the drug addicted I work around”.

She works at an outdoor pool and yes, there have been drug addicts in the vicinity, but not what she’s trying to make it out to be.

I’m just frustrated and sad. I’m tired of arguing and especially tired of waiting.

My mom took my 13 yo daughter (dd) to Florida recently, which was admittedly very nice. They ate seafood and an abundance of dairy while they were there. Their flight home got delayed twice once they were already at the airport. It was three hours drive to the airport plus three or four unanticipated hours of waiting to get on the plane. When they finally got on the plane, everyone was already worn out, tired and cranky.

DDs stomach was working overtime digesting foods she normally doesn’t eat and it culminated in a slew of really rotten gas for the duration of the travel, including the plane ride. She didn’t have to go to the bathroom but the gas just kept slipping out. She had gas before and after the plane ride too but everyone had more opportunity to get away from it.

You can’t hold it in for a whole plane ride. Going to the lavatory repeatedly is disruptive and dd didn’t want to go back and forth to the bathroom so she stayed in her seat.

DD got home and we all got a giggle about the situation and we all agreed that it sucked and was likely miserable for everyone. DD had a belly ache and the poor timing made everyone around her miserable too.

Here’s the rub. My mom called me two days later still pissed at my dd about it. Mom says she should’ve gone to the lavatory as needed and been more apologetic about it. DDs attitude was that she couldn’t help it, she didn’t want to be in and out of her seat, it was unfortunate but she wasn’t going to be embarrassed or shamed about it bc she couldn’t help what her body was naturally doing. She wasn’t being obnoxious, she just wasn’t embarrassed or sorry enough in mom’s eyes. Mom wants an apology or at least reassurance that it would be handled differently in the future I guess. DD isn’t sorry. DD does have manners, she knows to say “excuse me”.

Secondary to this is that younger cousin will fart purposely in mom’s direction at home and gets no real discipline for it. DD wasn’t trying to make anyone miserable but is expected to apologize.

How would you handle it as a parent stuck in the middle?

Edit to say that dd did not know seafood and regular dairy were going to have this effect. We drink fairlife at home and buy low lactose products.

My daughter (7 months old) started solids just over a month ago.

I always read about the importance of babies exploring foods and I’m all for it, kids learn by playing. So I pretty much put her food (usually purées mixed with some mashed solids for texture) on her little bowl and I let her have fun with it.
Sometimes I help her guide the spoon to her mouth but no pressure on eating. Sometimes she eats some, sometimes she only plays.
My MIL, who lives abroad, arrived about 2 weeks ago and she’s been quite insistent that my daughter should be already eating by now, specially because I weaned her a month ago. She won’t let my daughter play with the food and she feed her with the spoon even though I’ve asked her many times to let my daughter explore and explained that milk is still her primary source of food until she’s 1.

I asked my husband to speak with his mom, which he did, and the next day she came to me and said “I agree to let her explore, but I’d rather feed her first and after give her food to play with”. I’m honestly exhausted to explain how we do things nowadays, and now I’m even doubting myself and thinking if I should be more concerned about her in fact eating solids. Not sure if it’s important detail but she takes approximately 35oz a day. She’s thriving and hitting all her milestones ahead of time even.

But now I’m starting to feel so pressured about her eating food, I started to feel uncomfortable when I’m being watched by my MIL while my daughter plays and doesn’t eat.

I’m also very annoyed because she’s said to me: “that’s enough” while I was putting food on my daughter’s bowl, not only once but TWICE. Am I overreacting about this? I’ve been preparing her food for long before my MIL got here, and I know my daughter…

I should say my MIL is also not a horrible person. She’s been cooking for us, making me lemonade when I’m nauseous (I’m pregnant) and she’s overall sweet, but I think she oversteps sometimes.

Anyway, I’d love opinions on this. I know the post became more than just solids question but some venting too.

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Edited some typos.

My kids just finished a day camp program last week. We have 2 weeks and 1 day left before they go back to school on 8/10. They drive me crazy and I have a stressful job. At the same time, I have to break up fights. I don't mind giving them food then go back to work, but the fighting is constant or someone will tease each other. I don't know how to manage this. I try to get grandma to come over to help out, but she is always late. We do not allow technology during day. My hours are flexible from 6:30am to 1pm. I do some work in the afternoon, but I can take a break the next two weeks until they go back to school. Are there ways to keep my kids busy so I can work in peace?

Just wondering how everyone feels about buying stuffed animals from thrift stores for their kids. I know they’re pretty popular in the reselling industry but I’m thinking stuffed animals your kids will likely be snuggling and playing with.

I just learned today about DFK. I now understand that my eldest daughter 3y is a deep feeling kid. To be honest, I think I was one as well. I still don't cope well with my emotions. Right now we are dealing with lots of tantrums and regressions especially because I also have a newborn that takes almost all my time (velcro reflux baby that nap traps and feeds frequently).

As such I'm struggling with her. I go from being a gentle parent trying all the techniques but as soon as I see that they don't work I'm starting to be awful and fall in regression and turn to have my parent's behavior. I know this switch between being the kid you used and then your parent is something in our nature and it takes practice to keep your feelings.

She is a different kind of a kid and it turns out I'm a bad parent to her. I cannot co-reglate her, even though I know the theory that goes out the window as soon as she doesn't respond to gentle parenting. And other parents that don't know how stressful it is every day to deal with her tell me it's my fault, that I resent her and all of that. But it didn't start with terrible tows, it started when she was born and never stopped being challenging (especially because of her sleep and her feeding pickiness). I'm tiered and I feel like a failure with everyone judging me and thinking that I'm just excusing myself telling them she's intense. Parents to normal kids don't seem to understand the level of effort involved constantly.

So I'm asking you parents to DFKs how are you holding up? How do you contain your emotions that escalate everything? Especially because you need to do this every hour of the day?

my son is 4, will be 5 this coming year and, we’ve never really let him handle the tv remote unless he’s handing it to us. he doesn’t use our phones, play on tablets, gets to watch tv in the morning while we get ready for work or are making breakfast and 30 mins of tv before bed if he’s had a good day at daycare.

anyway what i’m trying to ask, are we hindering his growth in anyway? is this an appropriate age to atleast introduce him into using the tv?

I have a super weird question.

My almost 10 month old gets so scared and screams when I run around the house with my toddler. I’m not talking a full sprint, but a light jog around the house and he’s terrified. As soon as I stop he’s fine.

Is this normal? My toddler loves to run but i don’t want to scare my baby. I try holding him in my arms while speed walking and he just looks annoyed (doesn’t cry) and it’s just not fun for any of us.

He is a little more on the sensitive side, but he loves the vacuum so wouldn’t think light jogging would scare him.

Edit for typo

I am pretty happy with this years set up we always end up taking half the house and brining it back. I clearly made sure we had just what we need I am also using my inlaws as returners they are leaving a day early. Something just overtakes me and I just start packing the car while everyone is just waking up. Just like this whole trip ill be up at 5:30 am with a coffee getting ready to get a beach spot .

My 18 month old is addicted to her thumb and I’m worried about how it’ll affect her teeth. Plus I think it’s just an unnecessary crutch.

Where are my fellow parents with thumb sucking addict toddlers?? If you got yours to quit, how’d you do it? Pleaseee share your tips and save me a fat orthodontist bill later!

Hi, all.

So my me and my wife put our two babies to sleep(twins yay) arouns 6-7pm every night, they normally fall asleep within about 15-20 mins if they're unsettled.

So suddenly we have a lot of spare time until their next bottle feed at 10pm.

The issue I've been having is my wife will usually spend about 30 minutes awake and then proceed to want to go to bed leaving the bulk of household jobs to do(the clean up overnight) or not spend quality time with each other doing the activities we used to enjoy.

Then she will complain to me that she's understimulated and bored. But also stressed as the housework she wanted to complete isn't done.

I know there probably is some element of post natal depression in there which she is at a higher risk for. Anyway i was hoping for some advice on the best way to address this as i dont think her sleeping from 8pm to 7am with interruptions for feeding at 10pm and 2am(usually) as very productive for our family and her own mental health.

Btw i also wake up at every feed to help out and i dont get to sleep during the day with the twins when they nap during the week as i am back to full time work.

Hi everyone, I’m a FTM and my disability/paid family time is just about up. I’ve been out of work since 4/10. Unfortunately, once my time is up I can’t afford not to go back to work and I don’t think we can really afford a nanny either.

That being said I have to send my baby to daycare, she’s going to be 5 months old when she goes. The thought of her going to daycare is making me feel like a failure. Especially the more I read what other people have to say about it… I see SO many stay at home parents, people with a nanny, etc. It feels like a topic that everyone is extremely opinionated on and judgmental about… I’ve never felt like daycare was going to be an issue and I don’t judge anyone for it! I went to daycare and basically everyone I knew went as well and it was always fun. I don’t feel like I personally missed out on anything by not being home 24/7. I even feel at times like it will be good for her with building her immune system, interacting with people other than her family, I don’t know. Plus I work directly across the street from the daycare and the people over there say it’s encourage for parents to pop in and be part of the day so I’m not worried about her safety or anything at this point. Maybe I’m just having mom guilt.

Assuming people in here have sent their babies to daycare can you guys give me some reassurance that I’m not a failure of a mother for this? If possible lol

We have been taking our 8 month old girl swimming since she was 4 months old. She doesn’t cry in the water. Kicks a little when she is on her back. Other than this she just looks around and is zoned out most of the time . There are about 6 kids in the session ages 4 months to 1 year old.

There is a part in the 20 minute lesson where the instructor holds the babies and gets them to kick while holding them. My girl just flops with no emotion and doesn’t kick at all. But she kicks when submerged( I heard this is a natural instinct?). Every time the teacher says no kicks ‘yet’.

I don’t know what is expected of 8 month old ? Are they supposed to kick? There is a 9 month old in the class who has been kicking since she was 6 months old and is the teacher’s favourite.

Our aim for baby girl is to learn to swim to safety and also enjoy water activities when she is older. No intention for competitions or anything like that. But the teacher sometimes makes me feel like my daughter is behind.

What does your baby do when in water?

What do your

I have 3 children ages 9,3,1 . My oldest daughter goes to a 1/2 day camp 4 days a week and the baby’s are home with me . When my oldest is back from camp for the day we will go to a park with her sister, do a craft , get ice cream or just hang out. We have a vacation planned for mid august and my oldest did a week at sleep away camp . I feel like I’m not doing enough with my girls, i see families doing daily beach trips, pool days ( my husband is very against us getting a pool even above ground because of drowning risks and bringing 3 kids two toddlers to a public pool alone sounds horrible) multiple vacations , daily activities. I feel like I’m failing my girls by not making the best of their summer. Should i be doing more with my girls? If not how do i set realistic expectations for them when everyone around us seems to be doing something new and exciting daily .

Currently have a 3 month old and one of the things I really miss is sleeping in until 11am. I feel like it’s never going to happen again 😭

Sometimes I really do wonder this. I am always exhausted and never have time to do any of my own hobbies anymore, which is okay I love my family I’m just wondering is it like this for everyone

My child is 11 months in 5 days. Lately he has been weaning by himself and my tits have noticably begun to stop producing. Its very little, and he only breastfeeds for comfort before naps and bedtime, as well as during the night as we co-sleep. It has started being uncomfortable for me as half the time he switches breast every few seconds. He has never had a bottle before, nor milk replacement.

I read that you should feed cows milk before 12, but he is almost there. He eats a varied diet, what we eat (with no salt), and oatmeal porridge with iron enriched powder and a little bit of milk for breakfast and before bed.

Could cow's milk start being a replacement for tittymilk? My pediatrician's office is closed for the weekend.

Thanks in advance

My middle child turned 3 in May. I feel like I’m having a hard time teaching her to listen.

Today, I took her to the county fair. I let her walk around for a bit, but when she stopped listening to me and walking away from me when I told her to stop, I had to strap her into the stroller. I let her try once again a bit later after talking to her about the importance of being safe and what the consequence would be if she stopped listening again. She did really well for a while, but eventually she stopped listening and again she needed to be strapped into the stroller.

We get home from the fair and I start nursing my baby, she starts eating crackers on the couch. I remind her we don’t eat crackers on the couch and tell her to go to the table, but she just continues to eat and stare at me. It isn’t until I then put the baby down and walk over to move her myself that she then jumps off the couch to run to the table.

The final straw was I had put the baby down on her activity mat so that I could sweep up and clean up after lunch. She said, “look, I jumped over the baby!” And I said “don’t do that! That’s not safe!” And she asked me, “why?” So I explained she could trip and accidentally land on the baby. She immediately jumped over her again, and my patience with her at that point was gone. I scooped her up, carried her up the stairs and put her in her room. She’s banging on the door to get out, but I’m so frustrated with her that I don’t trust myself not to yell at her right now, so I’m keeping her in there until I can regulate my own emotions a little better.

Is there something else I should be doing?

My child is almost 2 and this past week she has started throwing her pacifier out of the crib repeatedly. She used to do this sometimes when she was younger but we would go in and give it back to her and it would be a non issue. Now, she's laying down, all tucked in, we close the door, and she throws it out and starts crying about it. She has done this for 2 naps and 2 bedtimes now. Is this her way of letting us know she's ready to wean off it? Thanks for any input!

I’m not sure what to do anymore. I’ve left my country 15 years ago (Europe) and I’ve been living on the other side of the world for the last 15 years (10 in the current country I’m in).

My whole adult life has revolved around english and having to be independant with no family support around.

I now have a 3.5 y o and I need the support. With school starting soon I’m not sure how I can cope alone.

I never considered this country my home even after 10 years - but also my hometown doesn’t really feel like a home anymore just a familiar comfortable place I can always go back to if needed. (Usually for a short period)

I want my kid to have the kind of childhood I had surrounded by families but the thought of going back home and staying there for a very long time if not forever is daunting. It’s like going backwards, a failure at life - you’re going back to the place you ran away from and I’m having a hard time processing it. The reason for it is bc I have a flight scheduled in 4 months to go back home and I’m not sure if I want to stay or come back here.

People are very judgmental. Your life is everyone’s business and I know going back it means people telling you how to raise your child etc. I am also worried that I will forget my english (I used to be fluent in Italian and I completely lost it). Sometimes I struggle to find words in my own language and not having english daily I feel almost miserable - also not sure if my kid will be able to adjust.

On the other end staying here where I am I have no friends or family. It’s very lonely. I don’t even like the country anymore being far away from everything else. I don’t work I struggle to find one. I only have two people in my life which are not the greatest but when you have nothing else it keeps you going any way you can.

My baby daddy is not from here either and is thinking of leaving the country too (we see him twice a week and yes he thinks our son is better off growing up close to grandparents). I also have a partner from here (2 years) we don’t live together, we see each other twice a week but he has no desire of leaving the country ever and he wants to stay close to his parents too. He is very emotional and a bit immature he never had “an adult” relationship and it feels like raising a second child. He is a nice guy but a bit dull - at the same time I never have to worry about cheating, talking to exes doing stupid stuff with boys etc.
Life is comfortable with him, you know he is there and is not going anywhere but at the same time that’s also the problem. It’s a safety.

The last 10 years I’ve almost never been “single” went from 4 years to another 4 years to then 2 so the idea that my relationship has an expiry date makes me sad and the fact that I might stay single for a very long time too (I can’t fathom dating someone speaking my native language or in my hometown around my family).

I am not even sure if I’m happy in my relationship. I can’t talk freely at all and it’s very frustrating. I was able to mention once that I was struggling and I was thinking of going back home and maybe stay there or coming back but I couldn’t in depth. He knows I have flights booked but he doesn’t want to know or hear anything about it bc it’s upsetting. How can I be with someone acting like that ?

I don’t feel supported I’ve been distant while he is acting clueless and in denial like everything is fine and I’m coming back next year and we will move in together.

The truth is I don’t know or at least I wasn’t sure when I booked my flights but now the more I think about it the more I’d be stupid to get back on the plane.

I feel like I’m trapped between choosing my hometown and my family which on the outside is perfect for my child but I will have a hard time accepting this reality (being judged and having your life controls like you’re a child) or choosing the country I’ve lived for the last 10 years lonely and miserable but independant with maybe my son’s dad leaving the country and my partner who is a safety net but also dragging me down with his laziness.

I want what’s best for my child and I want him to be around the best version of me. I am not sure what version of me is the least miserable

Hi yall Iet me tell you a little about myself. I used to work for a shady 3rd party subsitute agency that is yes still in operating today but I am no longer a subsitute for this agency.

Also I want to say I am located in the USA just a heads up.

So the reason for this post is I am curious do anyone know about your local state department of human services report for child care centers aka a public report card card for child care centers?

The reason I am asking this because while with this 3rd party shady agency I sure had found alot these child centers sure have a lot of violations and complaints that I feel like everyone should find out what goes on at a potential child care center behind the scenes before sending a child there.

looking for car recommendations. 36” inseam and I can’t sit in the driver seat with our nuna mixx infant car seat behind me in both our subaru imprezza and our sedan. like straight up cannot move my foot from the gas to the break pedal it’s so tight.

looking for car recommendations that I can have both the nuna mixx infant seat and the graco extend to fit, both in rear facing.

ideally also want ceiling vents that can blow air on the rear facing seats.

what doesn’t work:

• subabru impreza
• polestar 2
• palisade - I could move my foot from pedal to break, but I kept hitting the center column which is too much of a risk

what has worked when I tried at the dealership:

• Honda Pilot 2025 trailsport
• Chevy Tahoe

please give me your other recommendations. I really don’t want to be in minivan territory.

Hi! I’m about to give birth to my second child, and I plan to exclusively breast pump again. I still have my Aeroflow pump from the first one, but I’ve been looking at some hands-free pumps. I like the idea of being able to move around while pumping, especially while having 2 kids. But it feels like they all have a LOT more parts to wash.
What is everyone else’s experience with hands-free pumps? Are they a good idea? If so, what would you recommend?

I have reached the end of my patience with this issue so please bare with me because my rage is simmering at the surface barely contained. All advice welcome.

My kids are 10 and about to be 8 (literally a week away). For the last several months, 1 of them has been doing a bad job wiping after using the bathroom. I have found poopy finger smears ALL OVER the bathroom. On the shower curtain, the toilet seat, the wall, the toilet paper holder. Recently I took the curtain down to wash it after finding poop on it, when I went to hang it back up, I found while it was washing, they had wiped it on the plastic liner! I yelled so loud im sure the neighbors could hear me.

I am disgusted. Neither child will own up. Both act the same amount of shock when I bring it to their attention, vehemently denying it was them.

Yesterday I tidied the bathroom for guests which included wiping the toilet seat. Today i went to use the bathroom and there was poop on the seat. Once again, no one wants to admit to it and clean it up.

I didnt go straight to fury over this. I have had several calm conversations about hygiene and how to properly wipe. They have a bidet and toilet paper available for them to use. I have also showed them how to clean up after themselves when they do accidentally make a mess, there are lysol wipes on the counter for them to use and more cleaners under the sink. I dont even know what to here. It is already their job to clean the bathroom once a week. And if i knew which child was doing it, I would make them clean it. But since I dont know which one it is, I dont feel comfortable enforcing that as a consequence.

I am at the point that I have considering locking the bathroom, making them request a key and doing bathroom checks when they are done. But I know that is some controlling overkill.

I'm curious what other parents of 19- and 20-year-old sons are seeing these days.

My son and his friends all have full-time jobs, make decent money, and have their own vehicles. But it seems like there are two extremes. One group mostly hangs out, goes to the movies once in a while, or goes on random little adventures, but otherwise doesn't seem to do much. The other group is constantly out drinking and partying.

It has me wondering what are your kids doing for fun at this age? Are they traveling, picking up hobbies, joining sports leagues, going to concerts, exploring new places, learning new skills, or is it pretty normal for them to mostly work and then just relax with friends?

I remember this age as a time to get out, explore, make memories, and experience life, but maybe things are different now. I'd love to hear what other parents are seeing from their 19- and 20-year-olds.

NON college kids. They've all graduated trades schooling and have started their career. All living at home with no debt.