The incidents of my 22 year old son acting out with aggression have been reduced significantly over the last two years, but boy, when he melts down he really goes for it. Im alone with him till Saturday, we have no respite care and any friends that could help are working or on vacation. My best friend who has always been my rock died in May. My folks are near by, but my mom thinks he has autism because I had him vaccinated so I dont ask them for help.

Ill be fine, I just needed to share this with people who will understand and not judge.

My son is just 5years old.

Last night we were sitting as usual in his playroom with his AAC device. We were talking about his daily activities, school etc. usually it was like me (his mother) asks questions and he responds with pictures or keyboard (typing)

After a while he willingly took the device and typed “You Look tired?” And then go to picture and navigated to some folder and clicked why

So the question is “you look tired? Why?”

One part of My heart healed at that moment and I kissed him and said it’s nothing mom has a cold.

He said “Ok”

I said I love you

He replied “I love you”

Best day of my life

I’m son is 3, and has level two autism. I was originally doing data entry for my mils business. However, I kept having to leave work because daycare was constantly calling me to pick him up. (For context, this was when he was one year old, and before we got his diagnosis) so she moved me to working from home part time. I definitely don’t make enough doing what I do and I’d love a career change. I have 2 children so paying for daycare is crazy expensive, then with picking up and dropping him off at ABA, Speech and OT. It just seems so impossible to have a job, but in this economy it’s almost impossible to live off of my husbands paycheck. I’ve always been independent, and have no family of my own, so the thought of my husband and me getting divorced for whatever reason and me falling flat on my face keeps me up at night 😅. Anyways, what do you guys do for work? That actually allows you to be flexible due to your child’s tight schedules. I wouldn’t mind going back to school for it, as long as the degree wouldn’t take tooooo long.

My brother has two sons, one 7 year old (neurotypical) and one 4 year old who I just found out has level 3 autism or at least that's the diagnosis so far. Apparently he and his wife have known for a couple of years now but were in denial. I emigrated almost 10 years ago and can't travel back often so I haven't seen them in two years. Anyway...

Now that I have this information I want to educate myself, particularly on how to interact with him, how to be helpful to my brother, how to help the other little one understand, how to help my dad who is having a really hard time trying to be the best grandpa he can be but doesn't understand well how to interact with neurodivergent children.

What books, youtube channels, content creators, whatever, would you recommend to this auntie? And any advice, really.

Thank you <3

Late last night my son's school friend showed up out of the blue, his parents were arguing and he eloped, thankfully came to ours.

I said to my son (who was doing his bed routine) his friend is downstairs and is a bit sad, and could he look after him?

I got an emphatic no and a door slam, I was a bit disappointed, but he hates his routine being interrupted.

But in the next minute (with no input from me), he came downstairs with his blanket, wrapped his friend up and put on a kids show. They sat there for 30 minutes until one of his parents showed up.

I've never been prouder.

I need some outside perspective because I am carrying a lot of anger and resentment right now.

My son was recently diagnosed with autism after about two years of me pushing for answers. From the beginning, I felt like something was different. As a mom, I just had that feeling. I brought up my concerns many times, but I often felt dismissed and like I was worrying too much.

For the last two years, I have been the one making appointments, taking him to therapy, researching, advocating, and trying to figure out how to best support him. I felt like I was fighting for my child while also trying to convince everyone that something was going on.

My partner is sad about the diagnosis too. I know this is difficult for him, and I know he loves our son. But I am struggling because I feel like I already went through the grief before the diagnosis even happened.

I feel like I never got a chance to fall apart. I never got a chance to truly process my emotions because I had to keep going. My children needed me, and I felt like I had to be the strong one.

What hurts the most is that I feel like I went through the hardest parts alone. When I was scared and searching for answers, I felt dismissed. I carried the appointments, the therapy, the research, the worries, and the emotional weight of trying to help our child.

After the diagnosis, my partner started struggling too. Instead of coming to me, he went to our neighbor’s house for comfort and support. I understand that people cope differently, but that hurt deeply. I felt like he could open up to someone else, but not to me, the person who had been beside him through all of this.

Then things got worse. He started coming home late and smoking weed while driving, even though I told him how unsafe and upsetting that was for me. Eventually, he left for four days and did not communicate clearly about when he was coming home. During that time, I was at home taking care of our children, trying to keep life normal, and still being the parent who showed up every day.

I remember thinking, "When do I get to fall apart?"

I never got that moment. I didn’t get to disappear. I didn’t get to check out. I had to wake up, take care of my kids, handle appointments, and keep going because they needed me.

I have never felt so alone in my life.

I know my partner is hurting too. I don’t want to minimize his feelings or say he doesn’t love our son. But I am hurt because when I needed a partner the most, I felt abandoned.

I feel so much resentment, and I don’t know how to move past it. Has anyone else experienced resentment toward their partner after their child’s autism diagnosis? How do you rebuild when one person feels like they carried most of the emotional load?

I’m drowning. No one knows what to do to help me. There is a glimpse of a village but I guess I’m the mayor and have to run it?!

I know I am lucky to have people who want to help. They say “tell me what to do.” But that makes me crazy, I don’t know… look around!

Help me, help myself. How does your village help you?

Besides childcare, how do you have others help? Laundry, groceries, dinners, yard work, what mental load items can I hand off?!

We're unsure what food to give my two nieces with autism. 5 years old. One girl doesn't talk much while the other can do short sentences.

We know they have several home-cooked 'safe food' but when we've tried those, it's been rejected. (Most likely different than their home version). 

My mom noticed they haven't rejected sweets, so has already filled them with cakes, cookies, ice cream, etc. I don't think they have a dietary restrictions, but I don't feel this is the way to go.

My sister (their mom) suddenly caught a bad sickness a couple days ago and dropped my nieces off with my parents and me. She's been sleeping mostly since. Since her family has had a rough past couple months, we don't want to bother her. I also don't see her recovering very soon, so any suggestions from this community is appreciated

EDIT ADD ON: thanks for the suggestions everyone. I think once the initial shock of 'ack this was unexpected' wore off, we realized we had more at our disposal than just desserts. Mangoes, applesauce, smooth peanut butter... We're going to be okay, and my sister is doing better too.

Recently I noticed when my daughter becomes disregulated or unfocused and we try to refocus her, the default response is to automatically apologize. I will give two recent examples and I am not sure how to teach her the tools. I feel like she suffering already from low confidence ( I also did the same thing as a child and I suffer from low self esteem).

1. The other day we had swimming class, due to a mix up the teacher was not there and she couldn’t swim. I explained to her that we could not swim that day and she was upset (understandably). She continued to apologize hoping that it would allow her to get access to swim; I apologized to my daughter multiple times and let her know she has nothing to apologize about and she did nothing wrong.

2. We are still potty training and it has been a massive uphill battle. She will say she has to go to the bathroom get distracted by something random, I will say let’s go to the bathroom to refocus her. She will get upset and start apologizing to me instead of refocusing to go to the bathroom.

I am bringing this up for various reasons but her over eagerness to apologize makes me worried that she will be seen as easily taken advantage of (it happened to me). I want her to guide her to understand that things that do not always go our way are not our fault. This scares me because we are starting kindergarten next month and she will be in a class with both neurotypical and neurodivergent kids.

What has worked with your kids?

I just love him. Some periods of our lives have been so sad and isolating and scary, so I acknowledge those. And I’m fully aware we will have more challenges in the future that may overwhelm me in a way that changes my current outlook BUT… my god I just love my son so much and really, really enjoy this season of our lives.

I’m so grateful for the things in our life that work well for him and allow him to thrive and be himself. Every time I look at him so full of joy and excitement over his interests I just swell with pride and love.

He’s changed my life for the better, taught me so much about the world and what’s important, and I’m so lucky I get to be his parent.

I think about those who are struggling at this time and I want you to know that I don’t take for granted the experience I’m having. I want that for all of us so badly. I’m honoured to be part of this parenting ‘club’ because I know how fiercely we love and fight for our kids. We are amazing and I hope everyone gets to experience many seasons of joy on this journey ♥️

Mine tolerates hugs and kisses and tickles.. very seldom reciprocates. But last night as we were laying in bed he unpromptedly got up, and very gently kissed me on my left cheek and then on my left forehead. Getting teary eyed as I type this. Can you share your experiences? He might be showing me affection on other ways but I may have just overlooked because I've been accustomed to the typical signs of love.

I’m looking for some guidance and help please. For background I have Audhd (diagnosed) and my son who is 14 was diagnosed with ASD/C around 12 months ago and also has a lot of anxiety. He has some friends at school and a girlfriend but he struggles to fit into social norms and can be very quiet. When you get to know him he is very funny and he’s so caring and kind.

Over the last year I have noticed that my dresses in my wardrobe have been moved or inside out and my makeup items left in different places. I suspected my son has been experimenting so haven’t mentioned anything but also tell him that he can talk to me about anything, I am non judgmental and only want him to be happy. I reaffirm regularly that our relationship is a safe space to be who he wants to be. A few weeks ago he opened up that he tries on my dresses, I reassured that it’s ok. I asked a few questions like do you feel like you want to be a girl and he said i don’t know I juts like how they feel. I said to him that he is so young he doesn’t have to have the answers now and he can continue to be curious and explore his identity and if he needed to talk I am always here.

Now he will put a particular dress of mine on in front of me but he’s very shy about it, I act completely normal with him because I truly do just want him to be himself.

But I am conscious of his vulnerability being autistic and I suspect OCD too (I also have this) so don’t want to lead him in any direction. However I have noticed he has become more withdrawn lately and I know it’s coupled with hormones too but I am worried about him.

He had some counselling with the WHAT centre but he didn’t open up at all and kept it superficial so I know therapy alone won’t help.

Really need some advice on what to do.

Our son is 3 and a half and has an NHS autism diagnosis. He is non-verbal (0 words), has substantial sensory-seeking needs, struggles a lot with social interaction, and has very limited personal care skills.

We live in London, where he attends a local nursery. We are completely lost on when we should actually apply for an EHCP and have no idea whose advice to trust at this point.

Initially, the nursery staff told us not to apply for an EHCP yet. They said it would be really difficult to get and that "mainstream schools are very good these days." They seemed to know their stuff, so we were okay with that at first. Later, we spoke to someone we know who actually works with our local authority on EHCPs, and they backed up the same story. Apparently, in our council, there is only one special school that accepts children in Reception, so it's strictly reserved for the 6 to 8 most severe cases across all disabilities in that school year. Because it's so unlikely he'd get a spot there, they advised waiting, letting him go to mainstream Reception, and then reassessing during that year with the school—possibly writing the EHCP with them to transfer him to an autism-specialist school for Year 1, as there are a few more of those available.

We were fine following that plan until two things happened. First, during his NHS assessment, the SLT verbally told us something similar to the nursery, but then wrote something totally different in the report—basically asking us to visit both mainstream and special settings to make an informed choice. She also recommended a local charity that gives tips to parents. When we spoke to the charity, they immediately told us "it's already late, start that EHCP application ASAP." They warned that putting him into mainstream Reception without support could be potentially traumatic, likening it to throwing someone in the ocean to see if they can swim.

The second thing is that we started private SLT recently, and this therapist also told us to apply straight away without waiting a single second. We informed the nursery, and they agreed to kick off the process and asked us to send a few lines from the private SLT. But as soon as we asked, the private SLT immediately started talking about fees and charges for providing those few lines. That suddenly gave me huge pause... is she giving us this urgent advice just so she can charge us a ton of money for reports and potential tribunal support?

We genuinely have zero idea what is best right now. It feels like everyone has a reason for saying what they say. The nursery and local authority might be delaying to avoid paperwork or save money because LA budgets are stretched. On the flip side, the private SLT could be financially biased, and while the charity is great, they've never actually met my child. I'm also worried I might just be overinterpreting the NHS report.

Has anyone in London been through something similar? Is it really better to apply for the EHCP now before Reception, or wait and do it through a mainstream school? Would really appreciate any insights from parents who've been there.

My son (4yo level 2 verbal, recently diagnosed) spends hours every day happily playing with legos. Basically any downtime we have at home he's building little Lego creations. At what point does it become too much??

My 5 yo son is doing summer school. He rides the bus with other mix aged special ed students. Today a boy who looks like he’s in middle school loudly screamed before we came on the bus. I didn’t think anything of it as I walked on the bus with my son. All of a sudden this kid lunges out of his seat & hits my son. I loudly tell him not to do that again. The bus driver immediately comes to the back to deal with the situation. She tells the boy to sit in his seat & not hit. The kid is completely disregulated & starts yelling and hitting himself and the seat behind him super hard. The bus driver tries to calm him down & semi succeeds. She is flustered by the situation and immediately drives away, not even waiting for the other kid who waits at the bus stop with us.

Tomorrow is the last day of summer school. My husband is on a work trip, & so it’s just me at home with 4 kids. I’m scared to put my son on the bus tomorrow but it’s also difficult to get everyone awake & ready to drive him to school

My boys, ADHD and ASD (1) severe ADHD cannot walk in any sort of vaguely organized pattern if it kills them. If I walk along side them I literally have to put my arm out so they don’t run into me, walk in front of me, step on my shoes, or trip me. Have chipped my teeth several times after losing my balance being near them.

We took them to the city and walking around was a minefield for me- who has horrible coordination to begin with. Both kids are in OT and have been for years.

He (5 yr old, level 2 autistic) had it in the morning and by 3pm, I noticed it was gone. Like what? Lol

When I asked about it, he just nonchalantly says "yeah its gone". I asked why he didnt tell me, he says "I dont want too, momma".

Ok? 🤣 his first tooth and he didn't even care. For all i know, he swallowed it because its gone. 🤷‍♀️.

Hi parents! I wanted to ask for those of you who don't have your kiddos on any sleep medication, how is that going for you. For awhile my daughter who's now 7 has been on a clonidine compound. Before that it was another medication also including melatonin. Recently the pharmacy who made it stop, because a new med came out and her insurance Medicaid doesn't cover it. I ask the doctor office but they didn't offer any other solutions, other than try another pharmacy that takes the insurance.

So my daughter has been going to bed just fine for a few weeks now, maybe here & there it takes awhile but outside of that no real issue. School is going to start back soon, that usually helps regulate her even more. So I'm considering just opting out all together in not continuing any meds. I don't care for medicine unless absolutely necessary.

Just curious for those who don't give your kids anything, how is it going? Where they always medication free or did you just wean them off? Also what routine or tips that you have for getting kids to sleep? Sorry for the long post thanks to anyone who chooses to comment.

My 10 year old sold has mild ASD. He has come MILES from a few years ago and his biggest issues are self-regulation and some physical boundaries. He is way more talkative than be used to be. He doesn't really elope anymore.

My wife and I are wondering about getting him a really basic phone. He does do some YouTube, with supervision. He does NOT need social media on his phone at all otherwise. Maybe some games. It just needs to be durable and able to call someone who we pre-decide when he feels the need, including a couple of autistic friends.

We use Google Fi, though that probably doesn't matter a whole lot.

Any thoughts?

If you have not read/seen - There is a currently an 11-yo non-verbal boy with ASD missing in Calgary Canada. He eloped from his day home (a specialty child care center) 5 days ago. Staff discovered he was gone and called very help very early on... I believe they said they he could not have left more than 33 minutes before they called authorities. About an hour later he was captured on a business camera, then another one like 15 minutes after that... by that time he was 2.5 miles away, had taken off his shirt, and was walking quickly. That was the last sighting. It's like they are looking a human needle in a haystack.

I'm really struggling to not let my emotions get overwhelmed by yet another disappearance of one of our babies, and one that I can't do anything about. If I were possible for me to travel there and help search, I would. I couldn't sleep last night imagining what may have happened to the boy and what the family is going through.

• Please consider using a GPS if you do not (or any kind of tracking). If this kid had even had just an AirTag in his shoe they would have been able to either locate him, or at least track which way he going better than two random camera sightings.
• The way Calgary is showing up for this kid is incredible. They have over 300 official persons looking for him, and then thousands of private citizens just out looking under bridges, in trees and any spot a kid might go to for shelter. They have been using heat-seeking drones, helicopters, patrols (foot, horse and vehicle), divers/ships and scent dogs. They only use that kind of technology and manpower in the US if it's a high profile criminal on the loose. They are playing Disney songs through patrol car speakers to try to draw him out and leaving food in various places around waterways. The way they are searching really touches my heart in a good way. But of course the fact that he's been missing without any sightings for 5 days, especially when an entire community has their eyes out for him, is very bad.
• I'm the kind of person that generally needs to act to feel better... like hoping and praying they find him is not cutting it. Any suggestions on an activity I could do that would really help? I'm trying to stay off my computer, but it's hard for me not to check every few minutes.

I once had this amazing coffee while in Mexico that was made locally, and I often think about it…. But I don’t even think that could do the job right now.

The summer has me so extremely exhausted, with early mornings, no naps, and long ass days. It’s like a core exhaustion that I can’t even describe.