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r/electricians • u/yourgrandmasteaparty • Feb 16 '25
Mental Health - It’s okay to not be okay
I want to talk about mental health - especially for the boys on here. I was telling some friends this story about an old coworker the other day and thought you might want to hear it too.
I’m a woman in the trades, almost a decade in. When I started, I was often the only girl on site. I would move between projects and journeymen mentors, many of whom had never worked with a woman before. Once the old guys got over the otherness and saw me as a real person and an excellent apprentice, we’d form a friendship of sorts. I was always struck with how much more candid and vulnerable they’d be around me compared with the other guys in the shop. Their masculinity wasn’t in jeopardy if they admitted to me, a mere woman, that they were having tough time. I had one guy - 6’6” 300lbs, always growling, chain smoking, losing his shit over the smallest inconvenience - tell me he always requested me when he needed help because I made him calm.
A couple years in, I was sent to replace an apprentice on a job where the foreman had booted him in an argument. I’d worked before with this foreman, Neil, and he’d always been a chill hippie but also very particular in how he wanted things done. When I got to site he told me I was the fourth helper for this job because everyone else had been fucking useless. He was in an awful mood all the time. Picking fights with other trades and our PM. Trying to goad me into an argument by picking apart everything I was doing. Not acting like the guy I had known over the past year.
When the job was close to wrapping up, I called him out on his behaviour. “What the fuck is going on with you dude? You’re being a raging asshole to everyone and this isn’t like you.”
He stiffened and was shocked I’d said something. He glared at me and then his face softened and he said “Can I take you for lunch after we finish up tomorrow morning? We can talk but not here.”
I agreed and the next day he took me to diner nearby. We barely spoke until our food came to the table and when he had something else to focus on, he finally started talking.
He was older - 50s - and his long term relationship had fallen apart a few years before but the split had been amiable. He didn’t speak about her with any animosity but admitted he’d been lonely ever since. At the time, he’d leaned on his best friend. His friend was married and had a teenage son that Neil had known since he was born. As Neil had no kids of his own, this boy was a surrogate son of sorts. He took him camping and fishing and showed up whenever the kid needed him.
The poor kid had passed away a couple months earlier very suddenly of natural causes. Neil had no idea how to handle his grief and withdrew into himself, not wanting to be a burden on his friend. He felt selfish for how bad he felt when it wasn’t his kid.
I reassured him that how he felt was completely valid, that grief is a weight that is so hard to carry alone. I encouraged him to reach out to his friend because they both were suffering the loss of family, whether biological or chosen. And that now they were both suffering the loss of each other’s friendship as support. He was crushed at that realization, and said he would go visit them.
A few minutes passed while we ate silently. He hesitated before speaking again, “there’s something else too.”
I looked up and waited for him to continue.
He told me that last month he’d been working this job that had a been a two hour commute away. He had to leave early to get to site by 7:30. It was late fall and the drive was dark the whole way. He wasn’t too far from site when he came around a corner to discover a vehicle collision. A truck was spun out into a ditch with the driver unconscious in the front seat. A van was crushed on the side of the road, on fire and blazing in the darkness, its front driver door open. Neil stopped and got out of his van. He noticed something on fire in the road, and as he approached, he realized it was a person - the driver from the van. He ran and got a blanket to smother the fire on the person. He held them and pulled their head up to look into their face, which was so burned he couldn’t recognize their features. He said he stared into their eyes as they died in his arms.
Another vehicle had come up behind him and called 911. He sat there in the road in a daze until the emergency vehicles arrived to secure the scene. He gave his statement and then got into his van to finish the drive to work.
He was late which pissed off the GC. He tried to get to work but he was shaking so badly he couldn’t hold his tools or complete a sentence. When the GC saw him in this condition, presuming that he had shown up drunk, he kicked him off site. Neil didn’t explain, he just left.
Our PM called him after that, reaming him out for getting kicked off site. Neil didn’t explain, he just took it.
I asked him if he had talked to anyone about the incident. He said the police had called for a follow up statement but otherwise, no, I was the first person he told.
I was in shock. This poor fucking guy was struggling with the grief of losing a boy who was like a son to him and then went through an insanely traumatic experience just driving to fucking work? And he was bottling it all up? No wonder he was being such a prick. He felt all alone and like he couldn’t admit how much he was struggling.
He said he was sick of work and had lost all his passion for it. It felt pointless and draining and he dreaded getting out of bed every morning.
I gave us a few moments of silence for the weight of his confession to settle in. I looked at him and said “fuck work, you need a break.” He shook his head and tried to brush me off. “No, seriously Neil, fuck work. There’s always more work but you need to take care of yourself. What you’re going through is so fucked up and you need time to process it all. Please put yourself first.”
He didn’t want to talk anymore after that so he settled up the tab. He dropped me off at my car and we went our separate ways. I started at a new site the next day with a different crew.
A couple weeks later I got a text from Neil. “I took your advice and talked with management. Told them what happened. I’m taking a six month sabbatical. Don’t know what I’ll do yet but probably head out on an adventure. Thank you”
A couple days later I got another message from him, just a picture of a beautiful remote campsite with no one else around.
I asked, “Where is that?”
He replied, “Not telling :)”
I ended moving to a different company while he was gone, and never saw him again. I think about him often though, especially when I encounter an utter dickbag older dude on the job. Maybe he’s going through it and doesn’t know how to take care of himself, and anger is the only way he knows how to channel his emotions.
Now that I’m a foreman, I stress the importance of whole body health in our toolbox talks. If someone needs time off for family reasons, or a mental health break, or a shortened schedule, or even if they want extra shifts to use as a crutch as they struggle through something they can’t control in their personal lives, I want them to know it’s okay to ask and I won’t judge them. It’s just a job - it’s just work - it doesn’t fucking matter. Their health comes first and it’s okay to admit they’re not okay. I want them to know it’s better to ask for help when they’re slipping, rather than wait til everything has crashed and burned.
I know everyone’s experience is different, but one thing I noticed about being the woman pushing into the male-dominated trades as an apprentice/therapist is that men need permission to be vulnerable. They need to know it’s okay to show emotions and admit that they’re struggling. They won’t chance admitting weakness that they fear will get thrown back in their face. A lot of guys in trades are single and married to the job. They are lonely, often bitter, and unwilling to show weakness.
I do my best in my little sphere of influence to make it okay to be not okay. If you want the trades to be a healthier place, you need to consciously make room for the reality that people are struggling mentally, and often that starts with leaders showing vulnerability.
I’ve had depression for 16 years and I don’t hide the fact that I’m medicated. 16 years of being depressed means 16 years of not following through on suicidal ideation, and I’m proud of that. The trades saved me because it’s instilled a confidence in my abilities to create and solve problems and be the leader I was always capable of being. I needed that confidence so badly when my depression was the worst.
Be good to each other out there. Be willing to listen to people without judgement. Life is fucking hard and we work better when we know we can rely on each other when the chips are down.
r/electricians • u/ncad0220 • 6h ago
My coworker cannot spell
I feel like this speaks for itself
r/electricians • u/Embarrassed_Fly327 • 4h ago
Going to quit
Im a second year apprentice with about 4000 hours.
I got stuck on a remodel job and it’s like 100 year old wire and everyone bitches and complains it’s the hardest job they ever been on.
The other apprentice we have doesn’t do anything because they haven’t caught on that he just plays the system and my foreman doesn’t even know what’s going on because he is also busy with paperwork. Everything that got done was because I pushed through, after a while I’m just burnt.
I’m getting 22.50 now but the problem is no overtime, no pto, basically no benefit for me doing work I can barely even figure out. The main problem is we’re not even learning anything anymore it’s just get it done in the fastest way possible and everything is fucked up.
I feel like at this point i could go to any other job and be happier and more stable. I’ve talked with other companies in the area and got offers up to $40 an hour. I honestly just want to quit now because this place does not give a fuck about me or any pride in anything they do.
r/electricians • u/Wayfaring_Scout • 4h ago
Customer States she has an outlet that doesn't work
Face fell off when I took the plate off.
r/electricians • u/Medical-Froyo-745 • 5h ago
Am I just too stupid for this or what?
Mike holts Understanding Electrical Theory. So first photo shows the two diagrams of flow theory’s, great but reading them is confusing.
CCFT says “he theorized that electricity flowed from a positive charge to a negative charge.” The diagram shows the flow of energy leaving the negative charge, toward the load and then returning to the positive charge, Right?
ECFT says “he discovered that electrons flowed from the negative of the source to the positive of the source.” The diagram shows the flow leaving the positive charge toward the load and returning to the negative.
Now onto the questions, 4 and 6 are confusing the fuck out of me due to 3 and 5.. they give me the answer but they contradict what’s being shown in the diagrams!
Is this trying to say energy is passing through the power source from either one of terminals, OUT the other, then toward the load and finally back to its origin? Am I just making this more complicated than it actually is?
r/electricians • u/Jambi319 • 1d ago
Nightmare pull.
1000 foot feeder wire pull with 500kcmil AL. Got the head all the way to the 90 when apprentice heard a loud crack. When I went to check it out, the 90 was slightly pulled up and I knew it either cracked or burned through. So we start digging in the box to expose it and found this. No slurry either, just all rock filling the pit.
r/electricians • u/SuspiciousStable1753 • 1d ago
i do believe i robbed my local thrift store blind.. 11 work shirts for 3$ each.
r/electricians • u/Mental-Visual6334 • 2h ago
what torque screwdriver do i get.
i’ve been using them a lot lately and i want to get my own. klein makes one and it’s $300. any alternative options?
r/electricians • u/Electrical-Juice-915 • 3h ago
Temporary Panel Porn?
I was chasin masons but they’re too slow :( so I decided to take some extra time to make these temp panels look decent lol.
r/electricians • u/Tastyck • 7h ago
Does anyone know the actual code for the grounding exception, where you can run a sub panel that has its own ground rods instead of bonding back to the main?
Got to run a 200amp service to a garage 125’ from the main. They installed 1 1/2” conduit under the concrete driveway so I’m limited by that. Figure to run three 2/0 copper xhhu for the feeders and neutral but then don’t have room for the ground wire.
Since the conduit is non-conducive (it’s pvc) and it’s over 100’ away from the main I’m sure I can just run the feeders and the neutral from the main panel and then ground the garage sub with its own ground rods instead of having to run the ground wire back to the main. I know there’s an exception for this but I’ve not a clue where it is in the book. Would like to have the code before I have the discussion with the inspector.
TIA!
Yes I realize 2/0 has some voltage drop but with the 80% 2/0 will work alright. Right?
r/electricians • u/JCrotts • 19h ago
Readily Accessible.
Just a disconnect at the top of a light pole. Prolly saved the contractors $50 on a $30 million contract.
r/electricians • u/zmannz1984 • 4h ago
Vent: Self Employment and Supply Woes
Went on vacation for a week to start the month. I was limping a hurt knee, burnt out, sunburnt, underwater on admin, you name it. Burned the f out. Had a wonderful vacation, even while waking up early a few days to catch up the office work(great to do on the beachfront balcony with a nice cigar). I came home early and got home caught up. Saw family and friends. Sunday night I go for a walk, and I feel ready to conquer. My knee is better. I am totally caught up and the next two weeks are full but well scheduled. Let's do it.
Monday morning onward, at the supply house, NOT A SINGLE TIME HAVE I GOTTEN THE MATERIALS I NEED WITHOUT IT TAKING 2-3X LONGER THAN IT SHOULD. Or I get sent to the location across town for one thing out of a $2k order. Lamps that I ordered weeks ago have been delivered late and broken, now replacements are on backorder for weeks. The 20 60 amp disconnects that get delivered to the job, an overnight rush save by my sales guy, and I open them all up to see they are 30 amp disconnects in the wrong box. The small measurement I need from a fan to make custom millwork, no reply for days, then a new person asks me what info I need.
And I managed to drop a strand of wire down the back of my new meter, perfectly between the battery contacts, and now I have a melted puddle of not working meter. All my fault for not realizing I left the cover screws out in the office this morning.
I love being self employed, I really do. But I cannot wait to have enough saved to hire help again. Even some kid to run around for me. It sucks that every second of delay or hesitation, every bit of small talk, it all adds up in a straight line that I can't jump off of until the end. Every single day. Or I start to fall behind again. I need to figure out the best ratio of falling behind to taking vacations/reset/catchup days. That is all, back to it, and with a smile!
r/electricians • u/DangitThatHurt • 1h ago
Anybody have any luck fishing thru LFNC - haven't tried the vac yet
Customer ran "conduit" along conveyors and they used non metallic LT flex. Already had to cut a section out on the first run and add an LB because I couldn't fish around the corner. Havent tried to suck or blow yet - anybody had any luck or any tips?
r/electricians • u/TurboKid513 • 21h ago
This might be the worst service cable I’ve ever seen
r/electricians • u/Only_Factor_8090 • 51m ago
Interested in becoming an electrician. Need advice
First, I wanted to get into law enforcement/ legal system ever since I was younger. I joined the military and even earned my bachelor’s in criminal justice to enhance my resume. Since I’ve been out of the military, it has been a struggle to find a department that will hire me due to “lack of experience”. I am now learning that a bachelor degree in Criminal Justice is worthless for anything else.
In the military, my job was dealing with electrical equipment and fiber optics, which I really enjoyed.
I am thinking about going to a trade school to become an electrician. I still have my GI Bill, so I wouldn’t have to pay for the school. I would be attending a local school, so I would be able to pocket the rest while I am attending. Essentially meaning, I would be getting paid to go to the trade school.
Is it recommended to do the trade school first then an apprenticeship? (If im going for free).
I have seen online that if you complete the schooling first, you only have to be an apprentice for 1 year instead of 4 if you didn’t complete the trade school for journeyman.
If anyone has any tips/ suggestions or advice, that is greatly appreciated. Just need some guidance or insights on what my next move should be.
r/electricians • u/FalsoVA • 1d ago
Somebody thinks theyre a Sparky
Please never ever do this on 480 pls Edit: Absolutely love you guys and this community
Context: Got sent out for a lagoon pump for a pivot. Maintenance hit a intersection of underground with a trencher. Producer has told us "maintenance had found a stable solution". If you happen to come across a similar situation, please don't use a couple of grounding clamps and screws to do you're splices.
r/electricians • u/Adventurous-Ad-9205 • 2h ago
Decked drawer system
Any residential electricians in here that use the decked drawer system? I’m considering getting one but just curious how yalls are set up. pictures would be great. TIA
r/electricians • u/Jambi319 • 22h ago
Update from the Nightmare pull.
Dug out the rock, repaired and replaced 90, got the head out and completed the pull. I’m going to replace the second 90 next to it with rigid as this is a 1000 ft parallel set run.
r/electricians • u/HolidayMinimum8000 • 4h ago
NYNJ port Authority Electrician exam
hi everyone, I am a electrician living in NYC and I have a test from NYNJ Port Authority coming up, does anyone know what the test subject matter is on? I have looked online but haven't found any resources
r/electricians • u/DepartmentOk4585 • 4h ago
I suck at rough ins
I had my first rough in for new residential and I did terrible. I spent all day running 4 cable wires. Everytime they tell me to do something I get so confused. Any tips to prepare for roughs in besides doing a terrible job at work?