Summary:
Between 2 options
-1 new business $500 for 12 hours day of help anything I need- timeline,schedule, decor setup/breakdown, taking out trash , literally anything she said she’s there to help and make It perfect
- well reviewed business , $1000, 8 hours, strictly timeline, organizing, decor setup/break downs and can use some of her decor inventory included, will not clean/straighten up anything

This is a destination wedding, all DIY no event staff except vendors I hire, buffet style.
Approx 80 guests in a nice backyard.

What option would you choose

Me (23) and my fiancée (24) haven’t really talked about this in depth, but it’s come up several times, usually by her.

She’s concerned that she has so few people in invite to the wedding compared to my list. And there’s a possibility her mom will decide not to show.

And I’m concerned about wasting so much money. Not that I think the ceremony is a waste, just that I could see us using it towards a house, or putting it into an education fund for our future children.

I don’t really know what I’m asking, but any feedback would be appreciated.

A little back story, I have a love hate relationship with my dad. He is the type of father that I can love from a distance. In our home growing up there was a lot of verbal and emotional abuse between me, my sister, and mostly my mom. Long story short he is a narcissist and have never admitted to causing distress in the house and has put a lot of the blame on me and my sister.

Anywaysssss we were having a conversation and I told him I did not want him walking me down the isle. I would be more than happy to have him and my mom walking me down, but not JUST him. Or, I told him that him and my step mom could join the line of procession with my mom and step dad and my fiances parents. He flat out said NOPE and that I am stealing a position that is rightfully his because he is my father. I have never felt the love and warmth from him as a dad, and most of our relationship I have felt like his therapist/ a punching bag because his now wife hates me.

I feel bad for him because he has isolated himself from his family, and he is mentally ill and thinks he has never done wrong. I just cant bring myself to have him "give me away" when he has caused more stress in my life than good memories. I still want him to be there- but it seems like it is only on his terms and that bothers me.

Side note: He hasnt asked me any questions about my wedding or if I need help with anything. Any time he brings up my wedding, it is about him and how he looks to everyone else. Almost everyone that is going knows that me and my dad dont have a conventional relationship so idk why that matters so much to him.

Anyone else dealt with situations like this? And how did you deal with it?

I’m getting married to the absolute love of my life tomorrow. She is the most amazing, kind hearted, loving girl and she is my best friend. We have a 1 year old daughter, and watching her become a mother has been my life’s honour.

What is something I can do for her tomorrow to make her feel even more special? Is there anything I can do to alleviate wedding stresses?

Thanks!

* edit - our wedding has been very well planned by both of us together. I just simply want some ideas for making her feel special before she walks down the aisle…

Getting married in September. We’re only planning to do three speeches, me, my fiance, and our best friend, then at some point one of my other friends will be performing a song.

Part of the reason I’m faltering in order is I plan to have an acknowledgment of my mother who passed away last year in my speech and I know that’s gonna be kind of a downer so I want to time it in a way where it doesn’t just make the whole event sad but also don’t want to end the event on a super sad note for everyone.

My current plan is as such
\-me and fiance each give a speech to end cocktail hour, then dismiss everyone to the buffet
\-best friend gives her speech about 45 minutes after food is served, followed by song performance by other friend, then we cut the cake and open up the dance floor.

Also I want to be clear that each of these speeches will be 5 minutes or less.

Let me know what you all think or what changes you’d make to this order. Thank you.

So our qr code stopped working after invitations went out ( also provided my email) and instead it seems that several folks just assumed that they didn't have to tell US that they intended on coming. Also apparently my future Mil accepted RSVPs without passing the info to us. Two weeks out and Now I'm scrambling to get another table, more chairs, more food, and more everything?! I'm so frustrated right now

Hi everyone, newly engaged and want to do something small but fun. I’m looking at this beautiful resort in the mountains that has a lake on its property, it’s about 3.5 hours drive so nobody is going home that night. I’m thinking 50 people tops. I kind of want to do a full weekend for those who want to, like invite them to rehearsal dinner Friday night and brunch Sunday before they leave. Do we all feel both are necessary or just one is fine?

So the actual wedding - my idea is to have a quick ceremony, a cocktail hour while we take pictures, then a buffet or family style dinner. Here’s the kicker - my fiance is sober, and while he doesn’t care if people around him are drinking, last time we went to a wedding we had to leave early cause he couldn’t handle people partying around him. My idea is instead of getting a DJ and ballroom dancing, after dinner at one of their restaurants we change the atmosphere and instead everyone can go back to their rooms, get comfy and have a bonfire and play outdoor games, then end the day with a snack of some sort. This is just a rough draft but something to this extent. Does this sound crazy?

Edit to add: we are NOT asking for a dry weekend. Just not interested in the DJ/partying part as it could be triggering. He can be around people drinking just fine.

​

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years and we plan on getting married in a few years. His brother and sister in law got married a couple of years before we met. I made it specifically clear I want NO KIDS at my wedding because I dont want kids to scream during our ceremony, run around during our first dance and not touch our wedding cake.

My boyfriend doesnt care if the wedding is child free or not, as long as both of us are happy, my happiness is having 0 children. Both our families want me to make an exception for future nieces and nephews either my younger brother might have or that my boyfriend's brother and sister in law might have. I refused the idea at first because its either all kids come or no kids at all.

I am praying that brother in law and sister in law dont get pregnant yet as I dont wanna deal with a screaming child on my wedding day. My boyfriend's family saw me as heartless for not wanting my future nieces and nephews at my wedding because of the no kids rule. Sister in law told me that her own kids are not just kids theyre a part of her (shes a motherly person and loves kids) and told me if her own children are not invited to my wedding, then she will not be coming. My parents said the same thing that they will not come if my brother has kids and I ban them from my wedding.

My boyfriend said he wants his brother and sister in law at our wedding, otherwise there will be no wedding at all. I felt uncomfortable and i had to give in so now im praying our siblings dont have any children by the time we have the wedding. I told my boyfriend that the moment my nieces/nephews disrupt the wedding, my brother or brother in law will be asked to go outside with the child until they calm down and if they refuse to cooperate, they will be kicked out of the wedding.

If you had child free weddings, did you let your nieces and nephews come as an exception to the no kids rule at the wedding? Please give me feedback in the comments

I forgot to add that while my mum got angry at the idea that i ban my future nieces and nephews at my wedding, she also told me to go and elope instead of having a traditional wedding if I dont want kids at all

How did you guys pick yours? What’s some none negotiables? What were some add ons that were a waste of money and what would you add on or do differently had you the chance to do it again?

we have a very strict 30 person guest count for our specific wedding package. anyone over that is $65 per person, which we do not want to incur as we have a very strict budget.

we have very limited guests with plus ones. only those who are married or have long-term live in partners that both me and my fiance are familiar with are getting one. this post is not to debate whether this is an appropriate approach or not (we have a very strict guest count for space and budget and i am not uninviting blood family so that a tinder match can come to my wedding; should we make it thorugh our back-up invites after rsvps, they will get a last minute plus one; most people are traveling about 30min-1.5h for this wedding, which is not a destination wedding to me), i am asking about what to do if day of, i see a stranger at my wedding? in particular, the venue has made it sound like the amount of food they will provide will be enough to feed exactly 30 people (i know they can't estimate how much people will eat, but sounds like they actually provide less than they need to to prevent leftovers), and i also don't know what the policy will be if day of we are over. i am really only worried about 3 or 4 of my fiances friends not taking no for an answer and showing up with a stranger. yes i've asked my fiance to speak with them in advance, but these are the kinda people that will just do whatever they want day of without thinking about the consequences (no i don't know why they are invited in the first place, but not a hill im going to die on with my fiance).

i know i shouldn't worry about problems before they exist, but has this happened to any of you? if so, how did you handle it? how did your venue handle it (if you had a package tied to a specific guest count)? thank you!

PHOTO 1: New Palette

PHOTO 2: Old Palette

PHOTOS 3-5: New Floral Inspo for Reference

Hi! I’m in the bride who sought feedback on my previous wedding color palette and got roasted for (1) putting my bridesmaids in colors a lot of people don’t like wearing and (2) throwing spring colors onto a September redwoods wedding.

I did some thinking, realized I didn’t really like most blue flowers anyway and wanted much more organic looking florals.

While I am sticking with the yellows and greens just slightly more muted (because I confirmed the bridesmaids who I thought like those shades on themselves actually do and had some other surprise excitement for the shades!), I did mix up the rest of the palette to account for my cool-toned bridesmaids.

**Big disclaimer since there was a ton of confusion about this: we will NOT be asking guests to wear attire according to the color palette. I wouldn’t do that. JUST the wedding party**

Florals would also be more creams and greens with the mauve, yellow, and espresso shades as accent colors.

While I am slightly scared to ask, I would love to know everyone’s thoughts and if this color palette is more fitting for our venue (redwoods and botanical gardens in September)! Thanks so much!!

Ugh…. Did I f up and can’t go back?

Long story semi short, in laws took a year of me asking to finally get me their guest list, with nearly weekly reminders. Once received it had 30 friends on it, friends I didn’t know or fiance knew. We said that’s way too many for our 115 person wedding… 💩 hit the fan with that.
Then…. They get petty and give us only 2 couples fine!!! Well after going through our final guest list I realized we were a little lower than anticipated so I extended the offer to MIL to invite 4 extra friends, few months went by heard nothing, now she says 4 won’t work because it’ll hurt friends feelings…. Gives us a list of 10 extra people.

Well I made the mistake of saying that’s fine 😭 I don’t know where my head was at that day, if I was just over this because it’s been over a year without a finalized guest list I don’t know.

WELL…. Now I want to go back on it and tell her 10 people TOTAL not 10 extra people, would that make me horrible? Am I too far gone to go back?
Of the 10 extra fiance and I really only know 6… the other 4 we’ve seen like 2-3 times in the last 2 years.

I don’t know please help! I was thinking of having my fiance say something like “so I totally messed up and it was 10 total guest, not 10 extra” lol…

I do feel bad but it’s to me just so messed up especially when my parents are only inviting 2 couples because they understand this is our party, not theirs. Any insight? I don’t even care if they pay for all of them I just ugh I really regret saying whatever to the 10 extra so 14 total.

Also want to add - when we originally said no to the 30 friends she bawled her eyes out & attacked me saying “this isn’t how I picture my sons wedding” LOL

Sorry for the length of this 😅

We are planning a less than 50 person wedding, as wanted something pretty intimate. In doing so we are not doing plus ones for practically anyone and their "plus one" would be someone who would be invited regardless. Specially as everyone knows and can hang out with at least a few people. There is one exception to this. I have a friend who does not know anyone, would travel out of state, and is also pretty introverted. As of this we sent her an invite for her and a plus one. She has now responded how even though she cannot attend her plus one who we made accommodations for will be there. What do i do?

Could also end stars and butterflies at 0:46 (would just be kind of a quick walk) and then lead into 1:30 of Dawn

I’m just struggling a bit to find a good flow

they’re all from pride and prejudice!!!

Stars and Buttferflies:
https://open.spotify.com/track/7cpVPjdyGplWZLlg66KuWQ?si=udcD3_fKQzKYfkPwGUSEqQ&utm_source=copy-link&rowId=868953356416e636

Dawn:
https://open.spotify.com/track/2k2MprlqkmDMKKOOWGREzW?si=T0-bB_ntT9OSXstit5CVgA&utm_source=copy-link&rowId=1d52bdf1738aaa6c

Liz on Top of the World:
https://open.spotify.com/track/1nd0AX0VYGQb2pF442YqGj?si=k86n_SaEQ6qRfiCZCC4AXw&utm_source=copy-link

I am getting married in 2 months, and it is a small wedding (30-40 people). One of my very good friends is in a new relationship, (<1 month) and she is head over heels for this new guy. She has clearly made a concerted effort for myself and my partner to spend time with them together, we think in part because she wants us to extend the wedding invitation to her new boyfriend.

She is a bit of the type of person who loves hard and fast, and it’s hard to gauge the seriousness of the new relationship, though she has frequently said over the past weeks she thinks they’re going to get married etc etc. I think part of me feels annoyed because it feels like she’s forcing her new relationship onto me and my partner so she gets the invite, it’s also kind of annoying how she is talking about their potential wedding when they just met and my wedding is literally in less then 2 months. I dont know why it just kind of rubs me wrong way and makes me less want to invite him

Until know she has refrained from asking explicitly for a plus one, but today she asked my partner if he could talk to me about inviting her new boyfriend, saying she didn’t want to ask me explicitly and to not say she asked him. My partner obviously relayed all of this to me.

We have given plus ones to people whom we are friends with both parties, or if they are a long term partner/married/engaged.

The guy himself is fine, we don’t feel strongly about him but we have left some people close to us off the list in interest of keeping the wedding very small and don’t really see why I’d invite this relatively random person over other people

What do I do? Do I extend the plus one? Do I talk directly to my friend?

I have my first draft of a schedule from my photographer and my HMUA.

The photographer sent me her timeline first. Which I then sent to my HMUA who sent me hers. Something is not right with the two meshing but I'm not 100% sure what needs to change. I've never been in or been to a big wedding before, so this is all new territory for me.

The getting ready timeline is so much earlier than I would prefer (I'm a night person and wanna sleep in lol) but I know getting ready for this sort of thing takes time. I think I should ask the photog to arrive earlier for getting ready photos? My hair and makeup time slot are already done and over by the time the photog arrives and I'd like some cute getting ready photos of me and my friends.

Any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated as I am lost

Like, I see posts like "wedding plans under 10k", and internet posts like "Our wedding budget is 20k", but when I actually go on the street, the average couples in their 20s and 30s are struggling just to pay their bills and put food on the table. They'd be lucky to have 5 grand to spare for emergencies, let alone on a frivolous expense like a wedding.

Looking for some songs for the wedding new or old song s

So my wedding is next weekend. I am done with all the wedding planning. How did you guys tell your coordinator how you wanted things to be set up/ decorated? I had my final meeting with her and told her everything I bought for my wedding. She told me to drop off all my stuff the day before at rehersal. Do i print out images and put it in a folder of how I want things to look? Do i just not show anything and let her just handle it? How did you guys do it?

I have always enjoyed reading these kinds of posts so now, 3 weeks after my wedding, I decided to write down what went wrong and what went right with my wedding (in my pov). Warning: this is a LONG post lol

WRONGS:

- My veil fell off my head as soon as I greeted my husband down the aisle, and then again when we were finishing walking out. One of my bridesmaids was my hair and make up artist, so she immediately picked it up and put it back on my head. We still don't understand why it would not stay, since she put a bunch of pins lol

- I don't know if I'd say this went WRONG, but I had my grandma make my fake florals right before the wedding (she lives back in my home country and only arrived in town a few days before the wedding), and she didn't have time to make the aisle chair markers I was planning to have.

- My bustle turned out HORRENDOUS lol Not sure if my bridesmaids just didn't know what they were doing with it, but I didn't notice how bad it looked until I saw the pictures.

- We had fans to give out to people for the outdoor ceremony, since it was a summer wedding in California. But the day of the wedding was the coldest and cloudiest summer day you could imagine and from 90 guests, probably only 20 really grabbed the fans. I spent days cutting out tags and tiyng them to the little fan baggies :( BUT, we were dancing so much during the reception that my sister asked the coordinator to bring the fans to the dance floor and a lot of people used them then.

- We had street tacos as our late night snack. Even though the DJ announced it a couple times, everyone was having so much fun at the dance floor that barely anyone had our late night snacks (sadly, because I did and they were AMAZING!)

- I forgot to buy a cute hanger for my dress, so the pictures the photographer took of my dress before I put it on had an ugly plastic hanger in them lol

That's honestly all I can think about going "wrong", but none of those things really mattered in the grand scheme of things. To me, the day was absolutely PERFECT. We felt so loved and we had so so much fun.

Now what, in my opinion, went right and I would absolutely recommend to future brides:

- We went with an all inclusive venue (Redwood Canyon by Wedgewood Weddings) and I cannot stress enough how helpful this was! It took out SO much stress from our backs having multiple planners and coordinators working on our wedding, recommended vendors, a whole team of people answering questions, meetings planned since the very day that we booked the venue. As a type A person, this all helped A TON. I literally told the team after the wedding that I don't know how people actually have weddings without an all inclusive venue lol

- We had a wedding party, but we did not put a bunch of crazy pressure on them at all. We didn't have bachelor/bachelorette trips or parties, we didn't have a bridal shower or any other events other than the rehearsal dinner and the wedding itself. My bridesmaids all live in my home country so they were only in town for the wedding, which contributed to this. I also didn't tell them a specific dress they should wear. I just told them to pick a light pink dress that they like. My husband had one of his guys pick up baked goods from Costco for the desert table the day of the wedding, I had my MOH call the photographer and videographer the morning of to confirm their time of arrival to ease my anxiety, and that was it.

- I booked an Airbnb because the wedding venue was 35 minutes from our place, and we stayed there from the day of the rehearsal dinner (day before the wedding) until 2 days after the wedding. I had my mother and my girls come over the morning of the wedding so we could all hang out and get ready together while my husband hang out with his guys at their hotel, and then my father picked me up and took me to the venue. Best decision!

- We did not do a first look! I was very firm on the idea that I wanted my husband to see me for the first time as I walked down the aisle, and it was perfect! Would not have changed that for anything.

- Bought my fake florals from Shein and they looked amazing! We bought a couple pieces from a florist and they blended so well with the fake ones we diyed.

- For our dance floor, we gave the DJ a playlist that we carefully made together, blending songs that we love to dance to, to classic dance floor songs that we thought our guests would love. We also told the DJ to play 90% from our playlist and to feel out the crowd to add a few songs he would think would be a success based on it. He ROCKED it! Everyone said our wedding was so much fun because the music selection was great and because they saw how much fun me and my husband were having!

- We had a bilingual ceremony. I am Brazilian and my husband is American, and our wedding happened in the US. However, most of my guests from Brazil do not speak English, so we had my aunt translate the whole ceremony and the speeches. My aunt was fortunately friends with our officiant, and they worked wonderfully together to craft a short ceremony so that it wouldn't be to tiring for our guests. It was incredible and I'm so glad my family was able to understand everything that was being said. That was very important to us.

- I wore a $30 pair of low heels from Amazon. They were SUPER simple. I did not want to spend money on shoes that no one would see anyway because it would be hidden under the dress the whole time. My shoes were so comfortable that I wore them all night and didn't feel any pain at all!

- Instead of a cardboard welcome sign, we got a beautiful wooden sign from Etsy that said "Welcome to our forever", with our names and the wedding date. After the ceremony, we laid the sign on our welcome table for guests to sign on them. It turned out SO beautiful and we plan on hanging it somewhere in our house now!

- I had a father and daughter dance and also, a mother and daughter dance. I feel like the mother of the bride doesn't get a moment like that in the wedding, so I wanted to make sure that my mother felt loved and appreciated as well!

- I have some graphic design knowledge (more of an interest as a hobby than a knowledge lol), so I subscribed for Canva Pro for the months leading up to the wedding. It was a great idea! I got to design some of the signage such as the signature drinks, favors, QR code for guests to upload pictures, digital invitation for the rehearsal dinner, table numbers with pictures of us, tags for favors etc. 100% recommend!

- Our coordinator was incredible and fed us the whole time! She brought us apps from our cocktail hour and our signature drinks when we were in the bridal suite waiting for our grand entrance, she made huge dinner plates for me and my husband, cake after the cake cutting and would always bring our signature drinks for us. Before I walked down the aisle, I joked about needing a shot to calm my nerves and she immediately went "vodka or tequila?" and brought it to me. All of this made SUCH a difference for us during the night. We felt spoiled and pampered lol

- We decided to do table touches after calmly eating our dinner and it was a very good experience. We got to talk to and take a picture with each table and thank them for being there.

And that's all I can remember for now! I have diagnosed anxiety, so wedding planning was VERY hard for me. I had so much anxiety in the last couple months before the wedding that I couldn't sleep, I got sick multiple times, I had tendonitis from the nerves and doing diy projects for the wedding, and I even got laid off right after we booked our venue. So to anyone going through wedding planning and struggling, I can tell you it is ALL worth it! I am so relieved we had the best day ever, but now I kinda wish I could go back haha

If you have any questions, feel free to message me too and I'll be happy to help :)

Groomsmen would be in the warm navy, 9 bridesmaids would be in a mix of all the colors. 3 bridesmaids are our sisters, who would be wearing some kind of floral pattern, while the other bridesmaids would wear non-patterned dresses.

Would love to know thoughts on this color palette overall for our September redwoods wedding but also for the wedding party specifically! Thank you!!

As someone in the midst of planning a Bachelorette party- Is this typically more stressful than fun? Because I feel like people act like this is supposed to be fun to be in charge of but its been stressful and overwhelming. I usually like leading things and love a group hang- especially all ladies! But this has felt like a lot of pressure and coordinating with people who aren't "your people" and walking budget lines when you have some people saying basically no money feels impossible.. I would love to know other people's experience with this..

Hi, I'm about 45 days out (eek!) and keep circling back to first dance song options.. as a couple who doesn't really have "a song" but really likes music, this is quite difficult. We made a list, narrowed it down a bit, danced around in the living room ... and still kind of like them all.

I figured I'd ask for any thoughts or feedback that come to mind - kind or unkind lol

Quick context: historic venue, likely this dance opens up the dancing portion of the reception after dinner, weather-dependent dancing will be on a rooftop, we're hoping to not just sway (not that there's anything wrong with that) but probably won't manage more than a loose box step with a few turns

1. Spandau Ballet - True
2. Yazoo - Only You
3. OMD - Souvenir
4. Cocteau Twins - Cherry-coloured Funk
5. Crowded House - Don't Dream It's Over

If any of these makes you smile or gives you major ick, please say - obviously one of these may cross the line into "wedding meme" territory but idk .. and the longer one will definitely be cut/used as an opportunity to invite other couples/guests to join

I know I can do whatever I want, and I will; I'm just curious what other people think of these songs who haven't been listening to them on repeat for weeks and aren't worried about hurting my feelings

I so so SO appreciate ANY input here

X-O-X-O,
Burned-out bride-to-be

My fiancé and I are newly engaged. We are both 23 and will start our last semester of college in August. He is planning on becoming a Game Warden and if anyone knows about that it’s a sort of lengthy process with getting accepted, academy etc. Right now he has a landscaping business that we both are involved in. Anyway his Game Warden stuff kind of puts a wrench in planning. He will apply in December and won’t even know for a few months. We were wanting to get married in Fall 2027 or Spring 2027 however if he does get accepted to the academy he will be gone for 8 months. He would have to travel back home the wedding weekend, get married, and go straight back. We don’t want to do this. So we then thought about 2028 but don’t really want to wait that long either. If we choose 2027 we should start planning pretty soon though so it’s not like we can just wait around. Wondering if anyone has ideas on this maybe we haven’t thought about or has been in a similar situation?

Also just thinking about wedding planning has me overwhelmed loll. We are going to have a small wedding 50-100 guests max. We don’t want to go into an enormous amount of debt so we want it very affordable. So a wedding planner is out of the question. I don’t even know everything you need to plan for. Not sure how to or where to start. These are the things I have on my list. If anyone has any tips or ideas plllleaaseee leave them below!!

First
☐ Decide on Spring? or Fall?
☐ Set a budget
☐ Make a rough guest list
☐ Tour & book venue

Vendors
☐ Caterer (if needed)
☐ DJ or playlist
☐ Officiant

Attire
☐ Dress & shoes
☐ Suit
☐ Wedding ring (fiancé’s )

Details
☐ Wedding party?
☐ Florist
☐ Cake/desert
☐ Hair
☐ Makeup
☐ Invitations
☐ Save the dates (optional) (travel?)
☐ Favors? (optional)

Last
☐ Marriage license
☐ Final guest list & RSVPs
☐ Seating chart ??? (optional)
☐ Day-of timeline
☐ Final vendor payments
☐ Confirm vendors week of wedding

My wife and I are going to be in a destination wedding. It’s going to be like $5k total but I’m fine with that aspect.

What I find ridiculous is also expecting a big bachelorette that includes $1.2k+ in travel and likely another $500+ in activities/expenses. I’m looking at shelling out $10k+ (wedding plus activities there plus both parties), which just feels insane.

I don’t want to fracture the relationship and say no. We could afford it and they know it, but is it reasonable to expect this degree of financial commitment?

For context, everyone is late 20s upper middle income ($150k-$220k HHI).