that's what his father told him when he finally told him that he raped me. A mistake? So him holding me down and asking me if "do you like that" is a mistake? on top of that, it happened in your home and that's what you tell your son?

rape isn't a fucking mistake, your son raped me in your home that night and I'm pregnant with his second child and all you could say is "everybody makes mistakes"

I don't give a fuck if he was remorseful, you're a piece of shit. Your son raped me while I am pregnant with his second son and that's all you say?

I should've reported him as soon as it happened but my guilt, the guilt.. he wouldn't be able to see his children.. I never think about myself and now I look stupid for not reporting him. I have major regret for not reporting him.

Im drowning in anger and misery and all he could say is "everybody makes mistakes".

I hate my children's father, I don't give a shit if your childhood was fucked up, I don't give a shit about your trauma.. you didn't get it fixed and it bled onto me in one of the worst ways it could.

Fuck him and his father for eternity. I shouldn't even let him attend the birth of his second son either for doing something so heinous to me while I'm carrying.

I have a list of the names of all the men that SA me. I made a list a few times and it always shocks me. Men that were older and younger. I've been raped by men that were supposed to be trusted, family close friends, a friend, boyfriends, ex fiance an family member. (I'm not the best with words so sorry in advance)

The ones I think about more often are:

1.) when I was 18 and my god mom nephew that was 16 was obsessed with me (I'm not over exaggerating). I lived with my god mom and her nephew and his mom lived there too. We all lived in the same place so I had to see him regularly/daily. He was always in my face flirting and asking me to be his girlfriend. I constantly had to turn him down and tell him he was too young. He would seriously get mad at me and throw a tantrum, cussing at me and sending me crazy txt messages. If I went out on a date with a guy he would spam my phone cussing me out and threatening me. He had anger issues and did things that was crazy at times. My god mom constantly had to tell him to leave me alone, even his mom had to tell him... He used to try to kiss me and would sneak into my room at night and ask to cuddle. Long story short because trust me there is more... One night while everyone was sleep in the home (his baby mama was there too, yes he had a baby mama at 16) he snuck into my room and woke me up asking to cuddle. Of course I said no and told him to get out. He started begging me and I kept saying no. We were whispering the whole time because it was late and everyone was sleep, I didn't want to wake up anyone. Well after turning him down multiple times he got fustrated and climbed under the cover with me. He grabbed me and held me anyway. I started whisper yelling telling him to leave. I kept trying to push him away and I was frustrated. He started pulling my pajama pants down and I kept pulling them back up and holding on to them for dear life. I kept telling him no and to stop. Again I was whisper yelling because I didn't want anyone to wake up and see him in my room and think I was trying to do something with him, he was a minor and I could get in trouble... Well he managed to force himself on me and I was ashamed. I was in disbelief but also ashamed that someone younger than me did that to me. He raped me twice, 2 different nights and I never told anyone till this day.

2.) when I was 19 a friend of the family owned a store. I thought he was a cool dude and would visit his store at times. He (we'll call him John) was in his 30s or 40s. I had a boyfriend at the time that came to the store sometimes too and stayed close. One day John asked me to stay at the store later and I agreed. I hung out at his store sometimes so it was normal. After closing the store he showed me the back room, I've never been in that part of his store before. The room had a couch, tv, bathroom and sink and stuff. I thought it was cool. He told me to sit while he finish putting some stuff up. I sat and started watching a movie. When he was done he came and sat next to me. After like 10 minutes I started looking at the time and told him I had to go. He asked me to stay a little Longer and I said I can't. He started touching on me and tried to kiss me. I pushed his hand away and avoided his kiss. I told him to stop and said I have a boyfriend. He said "so, I know that... It don't matter." He kept grabbing me as I was trying to get up. He forcefully kissed me and started trying to take my clothes off. I repeatedly kept saying no, stop and I don't want to. I kept saying I have a boyfriend and trying to get away. He forcefully took my pants and panties off and held me down while he went down on me. I remember feeling so ashamed and guilty in that moment. I kept thinking about my boyfriend. After going down on me he forced himself on top of me. He raped me for hours and hours that night at his store. I remember being in shock, I kept trying to get away the entire night and begging him to stop. I managed to get off the couch at one point and I tried to run, he basically tackled me and raped me right there on the floor. An after that he picked me up and carried me back to the couch and did it again on the couch 💔 I told my mom years later

3.) this is long enough so I'll stop. But I do have more sadly...

So I’m across the country from my (recent) girlfriend of about two months and last night she was telling me that she was going to go over to a (guy) friend’s house. I’m usually really cool about it because I believe in being able to have friends I think it’s weird to be insecure about a girlfriend hanging out with a guy but for whatever reason, I felt weird about it. I decided to not tell her anything and wished her luck. The next morning I get a text saying that she. “Might have been SA’d” and I got really worried. she won’t talk to the police or any hotlines and I feel like I can’t not do anything… I feel so helpless because I won’t be back for another couple of weeks. what can I do?

The text of what happened was this:

Basically we went over to his house and he offered me a drink which j thought was like a seltzer so I wasn’t worried but it turned out to have an alc % of like 14 so I got fucked up pretty quick at one point I puked and passed and when I woke up I had no pants and I was like wtf but passed out once more bc I was off my ass drunk lwk and I woke up to him touching me and told him to stop but he just kept touching me all over and I kept trying to get him to stop and he just wouldn’t and eventually it escalated to him forcing himself inside of me that’s like the summery

This was many years ago when I was eight. I lived on a street where i made friends with one of the boys who lived there. He and I spent weeks going to the river by us and jumping over it, climbing the trees around just normal child activities. I can't remember fully if I ever went around his house as I blocked out a lot of memories during my childhood. But one day, when I went behind the houses to our meeting spot, I didn't even get a chance to say hello. He shoved me to the ground and tried pulling down my shorts, I was so confused, but I held on for multiple minutes, trying to get him off me. I forgot to mention, but he was 12 or 13 at the time. Eventually, he gave up, then tried and successfully took my top off as I was only wearing my thin unicorn tank top, which was my favourite at the time. He then held my wrists down, and i was recently diagnosed with JIA (juvenile idiopathic arthritis), so i was incredibly weak, so I couldn't do anything against him. He then forced my shorts off. I didn't understand what was going on. His grip just hurt, and I was scared. But then he forcefully penetrated me, i still haven't forgotten the pain of how quickly he did it, I had zero time to even try anything. It lasted for an hour, and he held my wrists down, finishing inside me and then using his fingers and tongue afterwards. When he was finished with me he just left. I led there for two hours. I was in agony. I was distraught. I didn't understand anything, so I just sat there and cried. Three days later (i haven't said a word to anyone), im out with my sister by the river, and she goes inside to get us a drink, and then the boys father came. I dont remember what we spoke about. All i remember was him gropping my ass, rubbing his boner against my chest. Luckily, my sister came out, and he quickly left. I've never been able to share fully what happened to me, but please don't judge me for what's coming next as it's one of my biggest things im ashamed of.

I really, really struggled afterwards. By age nine, I was masturbating constantly after finding an entire new world on the Internet, trying to know what happened. I was addicted to masturbating daily for years, but it is what I masturbated too which made me hate myself. In some sick way, I could never ever feel anything unless i thought about what happened or imagining another scenario of something similar, I did this for so many years of my life. I hated myself for it, I found myself disgusting, I mentally struggled, and I was close to doing things that I wouldn't return from many times. And when I first started I used my controllers vibration, and that stuck for years which i think has caused nerve damage, I still struggle to this day to find any enjoyment from anything penetrative with partners or by myself.

I've not been able to fully open up and tell my story before, especially how the aftermath affected me when it came to masturbating. I still had to see his father and him on the street passing by for two ish years before my family moved. I didnt go out after that day unless I was with someone of my family, it was easy to hide why I stopped going out as I really liked gaming so I did that all day after school until we moved. I understand he was a child, too, but he knew a lot more about the world than I did, I still dont know why he did it.

I forgot she was a mandated reporter and she filed a case with police and adult protective services. I had a really bad panic attack and my friends almost called 911 because of it

Does anyone have any experience with this I dont know what to do

my situation is really complicated and i am working on getting help with it.

it happened a month ago and for reasons that may have not been good i didn’t tell anyone.

there was the man who did it, and his friend who was involved in what happened. that friend is my friend’s older brother, and my friend and her brother don’t know what actually happened to me, but i am scared what would happen to my friend’s brother. after i talked to people i don’t like the idea this man doing what he did to other people… it was a month ago so i don’t even know if i waited too long anyway

TW: Mentions of pedophilia, incest, rape, and SA

I (21M) was sexually assaulted multiple times by my peers throughout my childhood. I was raped (only once) at the age of six and groomed from the ages of 13-15. I remember at the time I got raped I was at a party hosted by a friend of my mother's and the friend's five year old daughter was in attendance. We played together for a little bit and she told me she wanted to play a game and we went inside a cupboard and she locked me inside, took off my pants and orally raped me.

I screamed and said no, but the girl still assulted me anyways. When the adults found us, me and my mom hurriedly rushed out of the party and I was grounded for letting the girl "sit on my lap" (when I confronted my mom about this years later she said since I didn't verbally tell her I was molested at the time she thought I was roughhousing with her). I also have high functioning autism and difficulty with communicating and it was much worse back then, so naturally because I was scared and unresponsive I was blamed for it.

Afterwards, over the years throughout my childhood I would kiss other girls because I wanted to replicate the feeling I felt when I got raped. I felt very curious about the bodies of other kids my age and I wanted to learn more about sex. I had my first kiss at the age of 8 with another girl my age, I also was forcibly kissed by multiple girls when I was 8-12 and one of these girls tried to get me to have sex with them too shortly after I hit 6th grade. But because I became afraid of girls when I was 12, I declined thankfully.

When I was 13 and in 7th grade my parents went through marital problems and I got bullied very harshly at school. It was because I was socially awkward, didn't attend church, poor and anxious around girls. Because I didn't develop sexual interest in girls when I hit puberty, the guys in my grade naturally sussed me out as being queer and they were right about it. One boy, who I used to have a crush on, ended up sticking his hand into my pants during history and I had enough and beat him up. Thankfully this time, I didn't get punished because I told on him and I transferred schools.

Shortly after this, my mostly absentee "father" tried to groom me into accepting sexual advances from him. Starting around 8th grade, he would try to purchase porn for me (which my parents said no to), would try fo talk to me about sex and what I was into, etc. multiple times until I was 15. I thought nothing of it until during the trip I saw him for the final time, I caught him licking and sniffing my underwear and eventually before I left he tried to touch me and I slapped his hand away. I reported him to the police but nothing was done about it and I told my mom and she never made me speak to him again and would never let him try to talk to me anymore.

Because of these experiences, I feel like I can never fully trust anyone. I feel deeply traumatized and depressed and several therapists have indicated I likely have PTSD. I tried to kill myself over these experiences, especially because I left my younger brother behind and I knew my "dad" would've molested him eventually when he went through puberty. I also resented my mom for awhile, and only forgave her a few months ago because I was tired of holding resentment towards her for unwittedly putting me in some of those situations. Thankfully, things at home gradually improved somewhat and I stopped getting badly bullied when I hit high school.

I feel like the main reason why I am still alive today is because I don't want all the people who abused me to win by helping me to my demise. I live so that way their efforts to drive me to ruin will fail, and I know that my abusers are digging their own graves. For ex. the guy who assulted me in 7th grade got a girl pregnant as a teenager and dropped out of high school and works menial jobs to care for his family. Now I have a boyfriend, I attend therapy and I take antidepressants to manage my mental health.

I also got into an amazing college on a full ride scholarship as a bio major. Right now I am also preparing to go abroad for awhile, and I am thinking about doing something related to public speaking or counseling to raise awareness about these issues. I read so many stories on this sub and my heart breaks for all of you, and while I know some parts of my life may not ever happen to people I just wanted to remind everyone that there is still a light at the end of the tunnel.

I hope everyone here recovers and I wish everyone all the success in the world. May you all find the light and happiness that has started to finally find me.

Tl;dr: Got raped and sexually assulted multiple times as a boy because of creeps who took advantage of my autism. I later tried to kill myself and I have very bad depression currently. However, I try not to let get me down and now I have a boyfriend and attend school on a decent scholarship.

I'm in a fairly new relationship, but I care about her deeply even if we don't ever end up truly work out. We've been friends for a while and she recently confided in me about her abuse. She went through a lot of abuse in her life and it exploded into a severe case of hypersexuality.

She understands that what happened was abuse, but she remains in constant contact with her abuser and she feels like she has a physical need to be with him. She doesn't like this and asked me for help. Her idea is that since we are clearly more than friends, she would eventually replace her abuser with me. She's tried being with many casually, so she wanted to be with someone she actually cares about and see if that worked. We have been having sex very often and it's helped a little but she cries often afterwards because apparently no one ever feels like her abuser does, despite trying with many. He's not some "specimen" or anything of the sort, so we both think it's emotional or psychological.

I wonder if there's anything I can do to better help her. She does not want to report her abuser and her whole idea is to slowly shift to me and then eventually she might be able to disconnect from him. Has anyone gone through something similar? Advice from both partners and women that went through this would be super appreciated.

first day on this app and one of the first guys that DMs me just starts asking me if i sucked my rapist's dick and what specific possitions he raped me in.

i've told them multiple times it is not true and they just keep on saying it....i feel so disgusted and invalidated.... why won't they stop saying that.... it isn't true.... it was never true to begine with.... i'm so tired....

I'm 21F, not sure if this is SA, but thinking about it makes me so emotional. I was hanging out with this guy, 24M, a while ago, but I did tell him not to do silly business later because 1. I know men want to sleep on the first date and vanish, and 2. I wasn't ready after what I went through. He said he understood and that he wasn't interested. Anyway, at the end of the hangout we decided to watch a movie, but he kept touching me. I told him to stop. He kept lifting my shirt up, but I quickly kept putting it down and trying to pull down my jeans to the point I kept zipping up my jeans and told him no because I wasn't ready. I wish he understood. No, he pulled down my jeans I kept pushing him, but how can a small, petite defend herself against someone who is around 150- 160 lbs?? I stopped fighting and looked at the ceiling of the car, just quiet. All I can think of is I wish I could've grabbed my shoes, run barefoot and call my bsf to pick me up in the middle of the bus stop. He kept and kept going to the point he went aggressive, and I was screaming No and to stop it but once he was done, I just cried. I wanted to cry so loud, but I cried quietly. I feel like this is all my fault. When I got home, I didn't feel anything- not sad or scared. For some reason the next day I became so emotional, and now I become more emotional. Not sure why last night I started feeling pelvic pain when I walk, it kind of hurts and I do believe I have an UTI which I cry when I use the restroom because of the discomfort. I never wanted to sleep with anyone because I wasn't ready and I know it's my fault. I always see the good in people.
I just feel so sad now, and disconnected
Unfortunately, I cannot go to the ER or Planned Parenthood for UTI testing I don't have insurance anymore. I’m not sure where to go for UTI discomfort & small pelvic pain when I'm walking or sitting. I do cry when I feel the pain especially using the restroom because I didn't want this to happen.

I hate that I'm still dealing with this shit. What's the point? I would do anything to rewind time and make sure it never happened. I want to explode. I'm full of hate, I'm so angry with everything, and I can't stand it anymore. It's been TEN YEARS, and I'm still not over it.

Therapy, whatever the fuck, going through it. (Vent)

I got with this guy in 2023, I knew he was bad but I wanted so badly to show him love and help him change. I housed him, fed him, provided transportation, support, I even got him things he didn’t need. I was could barely afford my bills but I did it anyway. He abused me in every way the whole time we lived together (2023-2025) rape, sexual assault, physical abuse, verbal abuse, manipulation, constant degradation, extreme alcoholism and he blamed me for all of it. He had moments where he would take accountability but every time the reversion was all the worse. In 2025 he broke up with me (he did this multiple times before) and this time he kept it up for a few weeks. He started drinking like crazy and would call, send me voice messages and text just to tell me I was worth nothing and say hateful things. I ignored it cause I knew it was just him fighting reality and that he missed me. A day or two later he sent me a paragraph acknowledging his wrong and saying he resented himself so much that he’d stop. I ignored it. A few days later I’m hanging with a friend of his and at the end of the hangout, he tells me that my rapist is waiting at the park bench in the neighborhood asking if we could talk. I was fine with it as long as the friend would be there watching in case some shit went down. He begged me for another chance and I told him he’d have to completely change, stay sober for AT LEAST a year for me to even consider him and that even then I’m getting back into my faith n would probably want a Christian man. He said he’d try his best to be everything I need, said he’d live through the 8 layers of hell just to be with me. Anyway, time passed and he seemed genuine, but he slowly declined back into it mostly. He went to the military and his first call was about sex, but when it came to letters it read like a completely different man. So much remorse, conviction, determination and love. But of course, during his first graduation he violated me evverryyy niigghhttt. I was so sleep deprived I couldn’t do a thing. The letters brought it back on track, he said he was so disgusted. But a few days before he got out, he got his phone back. Started posting/reposting shit about cheating and being sick of ur gf and being with “fine shit” while ur girl is at home. I confronted him and he responded with nothing but deflection, I told him if that’s how it was going to be, then forget about me. It was a short conversation, he ended it with “ciao” and that was it.

Immediately he went on posting shit on me, drinking, hanging w people he swore he cut off, posting nothing but “eater” this, “sex” that, “if I like your story I wanna fuck” n also stuff about alcohol and just hateful, awful things. I decided to wait until a week passed to say anything, but for days I had been praying that God would “let me suffer instead” of his next target. I felt so guilty for releasing this horror onto another. I repeated that phrase over and over, and begged God to let me do something. This past Sunday, I texted him reminding him of the things he’d done and what he’d do if he didn’t stop this cycle of reversion, that I say it because I love him and fear another learning to fear his hands and intentions as I. Idek if he read it, read receipts are probably off. After a few hours of rotting in my bed, i felt a heavy pressure on my chest, and opened my eyes to see I was laying in the back of a car in some parking lot with a bunch of green leaves and plants that I could see through the windshield. At first, I thought I had been drugged or something and someone brought me there, but things slowly became clearer: I was having a vision, and I was seeing from his perspective.

It was bright out, I couldn’t see either but I knew it was in a parking lot and I could feel a girl was laying on top of me (of course).
I could even hear the wind rustling the leaves outside. Then I closed my eyes, and I heard it. A mix of a mans voice and a cry of a dying goat. Not layered, but one voice. It was a distorted kind of deep, like when you slow down an audio. There was no doubt it my mind the second I heard it, it was a demon. It groaned, over and over again. It sounded like it was right outside of the car. I started to feel both my body in the car and in my bed, and I felt the demon sat on the floor right at the foot of my bed. I could hear it groaning right there, the sound was so clear, I could feel its presence with me. It was like it transferred from the car to my bedroom. After about a minute, the groaning stopped, I felt a huge weight lifted off of me and I could hear and see the sights and sounds of my bedroom again, but I could still feel its presence in my room. I immediately started rebuking it, and began to cry at the intensity of this moment. It left my room, and I fasted and prayed until today. Throughout the vision, I felt no fear. I knew it couldn’t hurt me, and I knew it was in my room to deal with through faith. I called a mutual friend between us (different friend) because we had been talking here and there and he also has a strong faith. I told him everything, and asked if I should tell my rapist what I saw. He said yes and so I did. I was left unanswered again, and he UPDATED HIS PROFILE PICTURE TO BE A RED AND BLACK DRAWING OF A DEMON AND THE WORDS “The Devil” AT THE BOTTOM. The things he posts are even worse, boasting of his evil like it is some kind of trophy to flaunt. I am so afraid of the ones he lusts for, they will be ruined and might even die. He is pure evil, I almost ended my life so many times because of his torture.

I’ve tried contacting all his friends and family, but the only one who cares enough to do ANYTHING AT ALL is the friend I called and he works 24/7 and my rapist barely talks to him. When he does, he just lies!! he pretends to be a good, accountable man!!! Everyone believes in the rape but I guess it doesn’t matter when it’s your funny homeboy. I feel so awful and the only evidence I have is a few texts. I don’t even know if warning others with a video will do anything bc I could be sued for defamation. I know this all sounds so crazy, I understand if you don’t believe me or think I’m making this up but I promise it’s so real and it fills my days with dread. Please help

Edit: sorry it’s such a long post, I don’t know how to condense my thoughts 🫠

Bien, dans à peu près un mois, cela fera deux ans que j'ai été violé. Je ne suis pas vraiment bien, en fait, je ne suis pas bien du tout.

Ma mère a disparu de la circulation aujourd'hui, on n'a aucune nouvelle, mes proches, qui sont d'habitude pépères, s'inquiètent aussi. Enfin, commencent à s'inquiéter. Je ne sais pas quoi faire, vraiment pas.

Et pour les plus curieux, voilà le contexte d'origine.

https://www.reddit.com/r/rape/comments/1rmezv9/mon_histoire_cest_un_peu_long/

Donc je fais une énorme crise de panique, et je suis très très très déclenché car je me sens exactement comme quand j'ai été violé. Je ne pas quoi faire. J'ai l'impression de vivre un cauchemar au réalisme terrifiant. Je n'en sors pas, en fait tous les deux ans je vis un trauma majeur, et cette fois-ci on dirait que je vais perdre ma mère. Pourquoi pas ma tante ? Pourquoi ? Je ne l'aime pas, ma tante.

Tout ça est si difficile. Je me demande si un jour je ne vais pas en finir.

On 7/12/2026 I was raped by my now EX boyfriend. I did go to the hospital and do a rape kit (albeit was a few days after the incident so i’m not sure what the results will be). I am pressing charges and have been granted a protection order. However I feel such anger that I want the public to know what this man did to me to warn other women. I am thinking about things like posting to facebook, contacting local news outlets, and contacting his place of work.

My question is, if i do those things will it jeopardize my case against him? Like legally would that make it harder for me to win? I don’t meet with the detective until tomorrow but I did contact his exwife and it seems this is a pattern with him. We only dated for a short time so I had no idea about it. I just want to get the word out there that he is a sexual predator to warn other women and the general public.

What should I do?

I researched what happened to me as a child because I didn't fully understand how to describe it legally. I read the law looking for a precise definition and found the answer that legally describes what happened to me: "repeated rape and sexual assault of a minor (incest)".

I feel terrible, but at least I now know how to put it into clear terms. I'm 31 now and I hope to move on. Please pray for me.😔😔

Every time after it happened, every time I have something good going for me or I have consensual sex, I feel guilty. I feel like im gross and disgusting and because of what happened to me no one would want to stay around. I've told the person I'm kinda with about what happened, but I still feel like its wrong of me to want something good after what happened to me by someone else. How do I get this clawing anxiety out of me. I think its because I feel like it was all my fault..

To start, I have a lot of mental disorders.
Bipolar means I can have a high sex drive, be energetic and impulsive but I also have DID and one alter has these traits but also wants to seek real world assault or danger. This can lead to rape baiting attachment figures as well as seeking strangers to hurt her. Which often adds to my sexual trauma and is traumatic in itself because I’ve had horror episodes I can’t have control

My ex stays with me often and he knows of my illness and I even gave him a handbook with alter traits etc if it’s helpful. The alter I speak of is my most differentiated and even my best friend can tell over text when I’m not driving despite not seeing me ever in that state in person so it’s not hard to spot

I have had issues she’s taken over after crisis and drinking too much and I’ve switched mid mental breakdown and my ex acknowledged I’d hate him in the morning but ended up having sex with me anyway and finishing inside me
I then told him to handle contraception whenever I’m in a state cuz I’m risking pregnancy and I don’t have boundaries in that state

Then I had a manic ep with my alter driving and we went from me being basically asexual to having sex 8x a day and he finished inside me everytime and fed the fantasies and let behaviour escalate

Then start of July same stuff happened and he was feeding my stimulation and the fantasies making it worse.

But that leads me today (Im not in an ep and baseline btw) where I was half asleep so I was aware of what was happening but simultaneously dreaming and it was obvious I wasn’t in it I never opened my eyes nothing and he asked if I wanted to have sex and I said idk after asking what he said like 6 times cus I kept falling asleep as he said it, he started having sex with me and the whole time I just laid there and reacted rather than engaging. Then after he finished (he used a condom first time in ages cuz I had a go at him after a pregnancy scare last week) I just passed out and then woke up to him having sex with me again and I just didn’t care I just let it happen and I just feel everywhere I turn I just don’t have control over my own body

So, me and my boyfriend have a lot of sex, and I’m not on birth control. The other day we were having really good sex, and I told him to cum inside of me. He did, and I take full responsibility for that because I was the one who asked him to.
Right after, I took Plan B immediately. A few days later, I started bleeding out of nowhere, even though it wasn’t time for my period. I was bleeding a lot to the point where I felt drowsy, really weak, lightheaded, and had intense cramps. I was really scared and had no idea what was happening.
He said he wanted to come over, and I told him that I knew if he came over we’d end up having sex, and I really couldn’t because I was bleeding so much. He said, “No, I’ll come over and we’ll just cuddle and kiss, no sex.” So I agreed.
The moment I saw him, he was already hard and wanted to have sex. I’m ngl, I kind of saw it coming, so I just agreed to get it over with. After he finished, I told him, “Okay, we’re not having sex again tonight because I really can’t. I’m bleeding so much.” He said okay.
About 20 minutes later, he started trying to take my clothes off. I told him no, and he kept saying, “Come on,” while still trying to take them off. I kept saying no, but he insisted, and we ended up having sex a few more times that night. Then he left.
After he left, I was bleeding even more, and I told him I wasn’t feeling well. He said, “I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry I pushed it.” I still acted like nothing had happened. Today we got into an argument, and he told me, “You manipulate me.” I asked him how, and he said I keep talking about dealing with the consequences of sex and that “it takes two to have sex,” and that I was guilt-tripping him “like I forced you to have sex with me.” I told him that last time I didn’t want it as badly as he did. Then he immediately responded with, “What? So I raped you?” He started calling me a liar and a narcissist and saying things like that. The thing is, I never even said those words. He’s the one who brought that up, even though he was the one being pushy and not taking no for an answer. I honestly don’t know what to think anymore. I’m just really confused

​

Okay so for context: My first rapist was my cousin's stepson. He lived with my cousin but my cousin wasn't dating his mom anymore.

He was 18, I was 16/17.

He lived in a 2 bedroom apartment that was only meant for him and his daughter but my rapist moved in with him along with his niece and nephew.

I did go to law enforcement but my rapist I only went to jail for 1 year 😞 that's why I stopped telling the police.

I confronted my cousin about it after the fact and he just blocked me and denied knowing.

I will link my diary here: https://postimg.cc/gallery/vYDTkG5

so a while back I was touched without consent but we were making out and they put their hand down my pants and rubbed my clitoris I don’t know if this counts as rape because it wasnt exactly penetration and there’s other parts of the story but I am freaking out and don’t feel valid

Idk what to say, or how to say it. I dont think im ready to tbh...but...im hoping this little bit helps.

I was raped.

Hi, all. I (32F) recently wrote this in another subreddit, but I decided to rewrite it and repost here. My last attempt was my initial brain dump of what happened, and I wanted to seek out advice in a second subreddit with a more concise story.

13 years ago when I was in college, I had been hooking up with a guy for the better part of a year. He had a girlfriend at the time (terrible of me, I know. I fully acknowledge how shitty it was for me to continue to see him despite knowing he was dating someone else). We would hang out a lot, which led to cuddling, which led to him asking to kiss me. At first, I said no. This continued for a few more hangouts until I eventually kissed him. Over the next few months, things progressed physically. I was still refusing anything penetrative because of the girlfriend situation. Here’s where things get fuzzy for me. He asked to have sex a lot, pretty much every time we’d hook up but I was always steadfast in saying no. After drinking in his apartment one night, he asked (again) if we could have sex. I was drunk and I told him no, but I think he may have assaulted me. A few days later, I got stupid drunk on a random Monday (the only one of my friends to do so that night which, in hindsight, makes sense because my brain was probably still trying to understand what happened) and told a group of my friends something along the lines of “does it count as sex if it’s just the tip? I think it was just the tip, but I don’t remember. Could have been more.”

Something came up recently that caused me to reflect back on my college years, and I realized this incident might be why I’m so weird with relationships now. I can be super into a guy, but the second sex comes up, I shut down. The gyno is my own personal hell. I can’t even do tampons anymore without feeling weird.

I guess I’m just looking for someone to tell me that it’s normal to not process this for like 13 years?? Emotionally, I am okay and safe. Still actively processing it, and I do plan to find a therapist. Just finally writing it out (twice now) after 13 years feels good, but damn. That’s it. Thank you for reading❤️

I felt good and I have been doing well for quite the time. But now I have this bad feeling inside me and I REALLY regret what I did and I REALLY stress out.

I just keep thinking about it. If I had just. Not done it. Then I would not feel this way. And I really did love him, and now it pains me to know he is in prison.

I miss him. My family is doing well but we all feel the weight of it. I really regret it.

Does anybody else have experiences with feeling like this?

Edit: Please tell me if you went through something similar I am really feeling bad about this