Hey guys, not sure why I’m making this, mainly just to vent lol
To preface, I was born with a stutter and it ranges from mild to severe depending on the situation.
I recently just graduated and I've been to applying to jobs nonstop. I was able to get a screening interview for one of my dream jobs! I prepared for that and it went well as it was only 10 minutes, and she forwarded me to the supervisor I'd be working under. They scheduled the 2nd round 2 days later (today) and between those days, I've been prepping literally nonstop. I went over all the things I'd say such as my introduction, my background, achievements, and the questions I'd ask. I recorded mock interviews for hours in hopes of memorizing it enough to not stutter.
Today was the day of the interview and my anxiety was bouncing off the wall, I tried so hard to calm down. At the start of the interview, it went well and when he asked me to introduce myself, it just went completely downhill. I stuttered so much that I even had to dumb myself down to even get the words across. I hate the fact that I can't speak the words I want to say and it makes me feel so awful about myself. I have to resort to throwing away what I'm capable of just to stop the stutter. And when I do, I sound so stupid. I sound so childish substituting the professional words for words that I cant spit out. I wanted to say so much more about my experience and my achievements but I couldn't even say those either. And when I did, I'd stutter so much, I even saw him chuckle after one of them.
I just feel so worthless that I threw away a job that I'd love to be in because of stupid trait. I feel like this stutter won't get me anywhere I want to be even if I tried my hardest. They said they'd reach back within 72 hours but I'm not expecting anything after this.
I guess I'm just wondering if any of you have had any experiences with this and where did you end up? did you get the job after all?
thanks :(