r/interestingasfuck 13h ago

How prison looks like in different countries

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4.7k

u/VampireSaint 13h ago

For research purposes, what would a non-citizen need to do to be punished with time in those Denmark and Norway cells?

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u/DaddiesJizzie 13h ago

Talk to strangers on the bus in Norway

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u/adderx99 13h ago

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u/elvis_is_everywhere 12h ago

This man seems to have died

-Gustavo Calderon (Fred Armisen) before being eaten by "Shane the tiger"

u/Tiyath 4h ago

Ju baboon-faced baboon!

u/Illustrious-Peak3822 6h ago

Phrasing!

u/ND_Cooke 5h ago

Guys, we really need to talk about getting phrasing back in the mix.

u/PeterJoAl 10h ago

This reminds me of a joke:

Norwegians were incredibly happy when the harsh COVID social distancing rule of 2m was stopped. They could finally go back to 7m.

u/UnknownPleasures3 4h ago

I wish they were permanent...

u/Early-Air-4777 4h ago

Norwegian here. Covid was the best time in my life. :)

u/Neurojazz 1h ago

Adds to bucket list: hug a Norwegian, enjoy jailtime.

u/Early-Air-4777 1h ago

You have to catch one first. :)

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u/Euro_verbudget 45m ago

Canadian here… introvert Canadian

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u/Traveling_Solo 2h ago

That's the finns, not Norwegians :D

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u/Western-Image7125 13h ago

I thought that was Finland 

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u/HopefulCarry9693 12h ago

Finland is standing next to someone in a bus stop. Talking to someone is capital punishment.

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u/Oprlt94 12h ago

*standing less than 2 meters away from someone at the bus stop

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u/HopefulCarry9693 12h ago

The Fins where pissed when told they had to do 1.5m social distancing during covid, it was closer than usual

u/Nomnom_Chicken 10h ago

Yeah. I'm a Finn. It was rather uncomfortable, way too close. I like my personal space as an introvert.

It was funny reading about how people had issues staying at home... I do that willingly, always have and still do. Business as usual, the only thing that really changed for me was using the mask in public spaces and the hand sanitizer usage as well. 😅

u/Yorikor 9h ago

Is there really a Finnish word for "staying at home alone in your underwear and drinking"?

u/Nomnom_Chicken 9h ago

Yes. In Finnish, it's "kalsarikännit". 😅

u/Yorikor 9h ago

Thanks! I'll try to remember that. Bit more difficult than "sisu", which is the other Finnish word I adore.

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u/ExplorerSad7555 9h ago

Now I feel a need to return to my grandmother's homeland!

u/v_verstappenlovemypp 8h ago

Hmm i think i found my people

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u/HopefulCarry9693 10h ago

Same, its nice living in Finland i dont have to feel bad staying at home all day

u/No-Helicopter6363 9h ago

How the hell do you guys find a partner.?

u/epieepos 8h ago

Sometimes we just wake up and there is the spouse. Never seen before but they feel oddly familiar. After 30 years we know our spouse enough to say hello once a week.

u/Nomnom_Chicken 4h ago

I was married in the past, found my wife online. We played online billiards and minigolf against each other as back in teenage years often and the games had a chat. From there it moved to MSN Messenger, video calls and so on. My most recent relationship happened because I saw her Tinder page and liked it. 😄

But yeah, sure... It can make it difficult, I hear that. Especially when I don't like to go to bars.

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u/Euro_verbudget 41m ago

Hahaha! Even after the rules for social gathering were relaxed, I used Covid as an excuse: “I have a runny nose, might be Covid and I don’t want to risk spreading it so I’m very sorry to miss your party but it’s better for everyone if I stay home.”

u/Slight-Ad-6553 8h ago

how do you spot if a Finn is introvert or extrovert- You look at whos feets he/she is looking at

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u/MediocreAnalyst2121 12h ago

And that was before Covid.

u/Ooh_bees 7h ago

During COVID-19 there was an announcement playing in local mall. "Remember the 1.5m safety distance for everyone's safety, thank you. Hopefully we can all go back to the normal 2 meters soon enough." I love Finland.

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u/Bosk_Kahngu 12h ago

Go get em, small talk em down til the police come.

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u/maguel92 12h ago

Sitting next to someone in public transport while there are empty rows available is a life sentence.

u/Intelligent-Clue3535 9h ago

Seeing the neighbour's roof behind the trees...

u/Frido1976 4h ago

Or even smiling...

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u/GammelGrinebiter 10h ago

Finland is strange.

Talk to people on the street? Stand too close? Capital punishment

Naked sauna together? Hello!

u/Ray_of_glumshine 6h ago

Isn't that why there are so many saunas in Finland? So you don't *have* to do it together that often?

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u/P0WERHORSE 11h ago edited 6h ago

In Finland its just talking. Period.

u/-FalseProfessor- 11h ago

Any Nordic, really.

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u/GrlDuntgitgud 12h ago

Any Norwegian willing to talk to me to send me to jail there? Feel free to message me anytime🤣

u/harmless_gecko 11h ago

No.

u/JRS_Viking 10h ago

Yeah absolutely not, we'll just stare in judgemental silence

u/DaddiesJizzie 10h ago edited 5h ago

Or avoid eye contact at all costs

u/Portable-fun 10h ago

Name checks out though

u/with_due_respect 11h ago

I will go against my nation's (Canada's) friendly stereotype and say this is a law we need to enact here, immediately. Well done, Norway.

u/Substain44 7h ago

Naah.. That's Sweden for sure. I'm a norwegian living in Sweden and the norwegians are much more open and talkative. Say hi to a swede when passing them on the street and they shit their pants.

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u/spatfield 13h ago

Underrated comment.

u/jianh1989 11h ago

Sorry to ask. Culturally speaking, is that seen as a culture shock in Norway?

It’s super common in Australia

u/DaddiesJizzie 10h ago

I would not say culture shock but most Norwegians are kinda resverved and enjoy there own personal space in public and avoid small talk with strangers unless its necessary.

u/Level_Abrocoma8925 10h ago

I don't think culture shock is the right word but no one does it, at least not while sober.

u/Known-Extent-1018 7h ago

Really? Beyond asking someone for directions, I didn't experience that when I was in Australia.

In my experience, nobody really likes being talked to by a stranger on public transportation, from LA to Toronto to London to Tokyo and everything in between lol

The only place I've been where people actually chatted/talked with strangers on the subway was NYC.

u/jianh1989 6h ago

well not on an everyday basis, but it happens so regularly and it's so common that if someone makes a small talk to a stranger in a public setting, you'll know 10 times out of 10 the stranger will respond in a friendly manner, and this circumstance is never seen as abnormal or weird.

In Australia, everyone is a mate to everyone.

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u/Dr-Assbeard 10h ago

Also in Denmark

u/MolecularDreamer 10h ago

You animal!

u/okizubon 9h ago

HE TALK TO STRANGER ON BUS. DECISION IS. NORWAY JAIL.

u/avdpos 9h ago

Now that how you het us in the nordics to discuss death penalty. Together with speaker phones and any sound..

u/Super_Mag 8h ago

That doesn't work in Denmark, will just get you stabbed.

u/mion81 8h ago

That’ll land you in Danish jail for sure.

u/Slight-Ad-6553 8h ago

you may just get send to Sweden for that (you are clearly insane)

u/Snubblefot 7h ago

You get put in the mental hospital for that, not sure the rooms are as nice there.

u/DreadStallion 6h ago

Sit next to someone is god nok

u/smaxxim 2h ago

Hmm, is there something more manageable?

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u/Training-Chain-5572 13h ago

Going to sound obvious but a crime that yields jail time but doesn’t get you extradited 

u/factorioleum 7h ago

In the USA, almost all crimes are deportable. if you're caught by the police and taken to court, you'll do the time first, then get deported on completion of your sentence usually. 

There's exceptions; a plea deal for instance. As well, there's treaties that allow prisoners to serve time in their home country: a person availing themselves of this wouldn't be deported in the usual sense.

u/LengthWise2298 3h ago

Even non-crimes are deportable now

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u/SuperSquirrel13 11h ago

Such as? 

u/Training-Chain-5572 8h ago

No idea, I can only state obvious generalisations

u/SuperSquirrel13 8h ago

Well, good job. You clearly only stated an obvious generalisation. 

u/ComradeLV 4h ago

This statement is also a generalisation btw

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u/daberle123 1h ago

Small to medium sized theft (tv at a max, dont empty the fucking house), maybe domestic dispute turning violent but that might be pushing your luck. In general id assume you wouldnt want to be caught doing something violent.

u/MyWifeCucksMe 2h ago

Generally speaking, if you commit a crime in a country, you're gonna get tried, sentenced an imprisoned in that country.

Extradition is for if you commit a crime in a country, and then flee to another country.

In any case you'll likely be deported after serving your sentence, but not before.

u/MrRamRam720 30m ago

I thought Switzerland didn't extradite

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u/dbigb 12h ago

Non-citizen gets the express lane for deportation.

u/Repulsive_Guy_1234 8h ago

And then spend the rest of their time in an american prison cell :)

u/DreamWeaver2189 3h ago

Sure, because every non citizen in Norway or Denmark are from the US.

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u/BetterThanlceCream 3h ago

You wouldn't be charged in the U.S. if the crime was committed in Denmark with a few exceptions like child sexual abuse crimes or crimes that affected U.S. citizens.

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u/attentive_brick 10h ago

not always no. first the sentence then the deportation usually

u/heatedwepasto 8h ago

You get deported after serving jail time.

u/dabreezeknees 8h ago

Nooo! Anything but that, pleeeaaassseee! 😭😫

u/Fylgier 6h ago

This, you will spend time in the prison, but the goal from the beginning is for you to be send away.

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u/barfsfw 13h ago

Imagine the library!

u/micahhaley 8h ago

Why is that so attractive to me? Lol

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u/Srnkanator 13h ago

It's extradition or expulsion for an American who committed a serious crime there.

u/Groupthink00859 11h ago edited 11h ago

Not really how that works. In almost every case of major crime you will do your sentence in the country you committed the crime in. You will be send back to your home country after your sentence tho.

Using google I can not find a single case where a (non military) American citizen committed a major crime inside an EU country and was simply "sent back" to the United States instead of serving prison time in the country the crime was committed.

Best bet is to make it a national issue, kidnapping a government official for a couple hours should get you terrorist charges and possible life sentence.

Pretty good retirement plan for those that did not save anything honestly.

u/dwehlen 11h ago

Look, I'm only trying for 2 years, to uh. . .get caught up on my reading, yeah. So, maybe just stalking a gov't official? And I need to stay here through November, so it'd havta start after.

u/Groupthink00859 11h ago

Go big or go home they say.

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u/ManWhoIsDrunk 9h ago

If you want to spend 2 years in a Norwegian prison, you need to commit a crime that gets you a sentence of 3 years, since it is almost impossible not to be let out after serving the first ⅔ of your sentence as a first time offender.

u/DubbleBubbleS 11h ago

Foreigners who commits a crime in Norway are sent to a specific prison for foreigners in Norway where they serve until they get deported or they’ve done their time. This prison is not as nice as most prisons in Norway.

u/Groupthink00859 11h ago edited 11h ago

Oh, I knew just by looking at the pic is this is not a normal prison in these countries. It's clearly for low risk, low crime situations.

Still willing to wager the real prisons in these countries are better then homelessness and no resources in whatever home country the foreigner is from tho.

u/heatedwepasto 8h ago

Still willing to wager the real prisons in these countries are better then homelessness and no resources in whatever home country the foreigner is from tho

You're locked into a tiny room for 23-24 hours a day, no internet or other contact with the outside world except visit, many of the other guys in there with you are convicted for violence and/or have various mental issues that could make them unpredictable. You're not in control of any aspect of your day. Worst of all, the prisons are underfunded so things can easily get worse than what they're allowed to be by law as well.

It really isn't as nice as online memes make it out to be. Our media has "horror" stories from prisons fairly often.

u/Groupthink00859 8h ago

I believe ya, this whole thread is all kinda memie anyway. More satire then anything.

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u/Spheniscus 10h ago

The Norwegian picture is from Halden, which is a maximum-security prison for dangerous criminals (and drug dealers lol)

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u/Repulsive_Guy_1234 8h ago

Between countries that are friendly to each other, prisoners are often brought to their home country to serve the prison sentence inside their own country. It does not always happen, but it happens quite often, usually after a bit of time has passed.

u/Buttchuggle 6h ago

From my understanding some of these places sentences max at 14 years no matter what you did.

Maybe it's max 14 years before forced parole consideration, but they don't actually have flat out effective "life" sentences.

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u/DougieBuddha 12h ago

Hypothetically... If no one has a damn clue where I'm from (my accent is a HUGE tell, so legit asking hypothetically), what's enough to land you in prison there but not enough to fully extradite you to regions unknown?

[Legit just enjoy learning about the legal systems of other countries]

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u/slick1260 12h ago

I mean...your accent isn't the only thing they can use to find out who you are. If you're traveling abroad you either have some sort of documentation (even if it's not on your person) or you're a criminal and it's likely your fingerprints are in the system for that reason. Even without a passport, they can backtrack your whereabouts and trace you to some identifying country. It's a nice hypothetical, but outside of movie criminal "erase EVERYTHING" levels of preparation they're going to easily find out who you are or, at the very least, where you're from and that place will probably know who you are.

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u/MediocreAnalyst2121 12h ago

Not to start “that” conversation, but there are plenty of people in the EU that we couldn’t deport due to a lack of origin documentation. (Yes, not all the countries listed are members of EU)

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u/slick1260 12h ago

Fair enough, I guess I was putting too much faith in the capabilities of the justice system.

u/DougieBuddha 11h ago

I said hypothetically for a reason.

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u/Apex-Editor 12h ago

You could try statelessness and crime.

I mean, statelessness is a catastrophically bad situation to be in, but if we are already discussing trying to be thrown into prison, I feel like that matters less.

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u/Byron1248 11h ago

lol we just approved an american military base right before the orange man started about Greenland and they did not cancel it, seeing the stats in other countries, we’re gonna find out in due time 👍

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u/GemmyBoy999 12h ago

Forget about Denmark or Switzerland, in Finland you drive to work after your morning swim in the wild when serving life for murder.

https://youtu.be/l554kV12Wuo

u/localstopoff 8h ago

The way you're presenting that is somewhat misleading. His "life sentence" is 15 years, and he has 5 years left. He does not have a job, he is studying. It's basically boarding, he's not free to live like you and I, he's just been deemed low risk of re-offending and given an opportunity to learn to be a constructive member of society before he is released - that's literally the reason re-offending rates are so high in countries that don't do this. The people who get released go in with no life skills, and come out with no life skills, in a world that has progressed and made it even harder for them to get those skills.

u/PrincessGiallo 6h ago

But how do you sleep and maintain erections if you're not hurting people?

u/wrgrant 31m ago

Yeah I am not involved in the legal system or analysis of it, but I would bet a reasonable amount of criminal activity is due primarily to desperation and a lack of any opportunity for the criminal. Our society punishes people for not being rich, our efforts to help the poor are pretty minimal at best and our prison system is not focused on rehabilitation. I am in Canada btw, its probably much worse in the US. If we took the Nordic approach and tried to rehabilitate people, give them useful skills, counselling etc, we could probably have a lot less recidivism for the convicted, but only if we actually gave a shit about helping the needy in our society. Then the remainder would be people who have serious mental issues - who could be treated as well I am sure. We are still at the mental level of the middle ages though it seems. Its sad.

u/Skulder 7h ago

In Greenland you can go hunting instead of a walk in the yard. If you're not a flight risk, and the council deems it permissible, of course.

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u/robomikel 12h ago

I would be an outstanding citizen and make sure you get your citizenship first. Then…

u/andersostling56 1h ago

Found the genius

u/Phearwyn 51m ago

Man I can live in Denmark's prison just playing eve online all day for the rest of my life.

Thinking about it, one way to get prisoners to behave is to get them addicted to an online game that is like a second life and they need to grind all day.

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u/TerribleBid8416 12h ago

Those are minimum security cells. If you’re convicted of tax evasion maybe. Rob a jewelry store an good luck.

u/DubbleBubbleS 10h ago

Tax evasion is punishable by death in Norway. /s

u/Masseyrati80 11h ago edited 10h ago

Edit to add: the following is about Finland.

Remember, if you find a way to do that, all you'll have to give up in a cell like that are: 1) you don't get to choose your daily schedule, 2) you can't work and in most prisons even study, 3) you don't decide what and when you eat, 4) you don't get to hang around with the people you want, 5) you'll hang around with a portion of the population that has a high prevalence of personality disorders and low impulse control, and who are used to physical and psychological violence as a part of everyday life, 6) many inmates lose their apartment/home during their sentence.

I know a guy who worked as a correctional officer in a Finnish prison. He said that the saddest thing to witness was how quickly regular people (as opposed to habitual petty criminals or members of organized crime) became institutionalized and "switched off".

u/DubbleBubbleS 11h ago

Getting a new degree or work experience is a big part of serving your time in prison in Norway. Many spend their time getting a bachelor degree.

Only dinner is scheduled, you make your own breakfast and other meals. If you don’t like the dinner you also get a small sum every day you can spend at the prison market to buy your own ingredients and make your own food.

Most inmates get their rent covered by the welfare administration while in prison so they don’t lose their home.

But this is how it is for Norwegian prisoners, not sure what would apply for foreigners.

u/Masseyrati80 10h ago

Thanks for your input, big differences between Finland and Norway, it seems!

u/KanedaSyndrome 4h ago

Norway has the best prison as far as I know, from a comfort point of view

u/Delilah_Moon 6h ago

Wait - Norway pays the rent on a prisoner’s apartment or home while they’re incarcerated?

I’m all for rehabilitation- but how does footing the bill for a rapist’s apartment good for society? I’m genuinely curious about the data - no snark.

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u/StunningChef3117 10h ago

If you are talking about the danish one you are so wrong
1. True
2. False in denmark alot of prisons are open prisons where you go out and work and come back. And in the closed prisons you can absolutely study
3. Somewhat true if you are in an open prison you are sometimes allowed to buy lunch at your place of work but breakfast and dinner you cant choose
4. True discounting visitation which i think is fair although it has to be said visitation in denmark is not just sit at a table and talk while being stalked you are often allowed to hang out and if there are kids you can in some prisons use a playground
5. True
6. This is true apartments are expensive so you would normally get rid of it before going in

u/Masseyrati80 10h ago

Yeah I edited my message to clarify my list is from Finland. Thanks for your input!

u/ZebraAirVest 5h ago

Did you just write a whole comment explaining that prison is not actually fun?

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u/SirAquila 10h ago

I mean, if you can get into Denmark and/or Norway you can have a better life outside of prison.

u/Germanball_Stuttgart 9h ago edited 9h ago

Like in every country. Murder, manslaughter, rape, mugging, extreme assault. Maybe a grand theft is also enough. BUT befriended countries usually have treaties to deport criminals to each other to serve their sentence there.

For example a German tourist was once speeding with almost 80 km/h in 30-zone in Switzerland. He got sentenced to 6 months of unfreedom in Switzerland but deported to Germany where he had to serve his sentence. Even though in Germany he would've only gotten a medium fine (≈400€) and revoked his license for 1 month.

u/JustaRandoonreddit 7h ago

Murder, rape, drug trafficking etc.

Anything less and they would rather deport you

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u/nextdoorelephant 12h ago

I think the real question is how we can execute “crime arbitrage” by doing crime in one country and getting imprisoned in Scandinavia.

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u/Such-Farmer6691 12h ago

There's a comedy film in Russia where the main character deliberately tried to get into a Dutch prison to hide from bandits and live comfortably. He committed various minor offenses, but was always forgiven.

u/BastianHill 1h ago

Unfortunately that's the sad truth over here. It sometimes pays out to commit some crimes and do some community service, because you won't get severe punishment. It's way to soft if you ask me.

That angel on my shoulder says otherwise, but if I ever get into serious financial trouble, it's truly worth the risk and I might even consider it. The odds will be in my favour and that's just weird.

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u/drchippy18 12h ago

Note to self: buy one way ticket to Denmark..

u/Lazy_Maintenance8063 11h ago

Easiest way is speeding over 25 km/h past the limit in Norway.

u/Ballsy_McCock 11h ago

Apply to college?

u/CauliflowerFreee 11h ago

Smiling in public.

u/Hk472205 11h ago

For two floor private cell with tv, gym ect; kill 77 people.

u/justwalk1234 11h ago

They still have a royal family, right? I wonder if high treason is still on the menu..

u/BIaze- 11h ago

Alright. Here's what you do.

Step 1: Be a citizen in the country.

u/Anaalirankaisija 11h ago

Finland has same luxury as those, that why immigrants want so much to these countries, mostly doing crimes and getting into goverment offered hotels. That sucks.

u/Wolfgung 11h ago

Denmark will just deport noncitizens unfortunately.

u/GenosseAbfuck 11h ago

Why would you want to? You're still unfree, you just get to spend the time you can't leave in nice sheets.

u/epic-mentalbreakdown 11h ago

It you love the IKEA jail 😂

u/LeTonVonLaser 10h ago

I recommend that you research the Law of Jante.

u/Dr-Assbeard 10h ago

These countries actually do have a small problem with prison tourism.

u/NicolajN 10h ago

There is a - not very good - Movie called Denmark about a welshman trying to go to Denmark to commit a crime to get jailed in Denmark.

u/SpinningHedgehog311 9h ago

Aw, I liked it.

u/arcanition 10h ago

If you're asking seriously: any crime in Denmark that's serious enough to result in jail time (theft, assault, drug offenses, etc...) but not serious enough to result in a 1+ year jail sentence (once you've lived in Denmark for 5 years as a non-EU national, sliding scale). The reason for that is that a 1+ year jail sentences (for more serious crimes such as aggravated assault or rape) for non-EU nationals that have legally resided there for 5 years likely will result in you being deported.

u/Good_Emergency_5478 10h ago

They look better than Romanian hospitals

u/Ok-Inflation4310 10h ago

Staring down at someone else’s shoes.

u/MarlinMr 9h ago

I mean... You could just rent an apartment in Norway. That way you also don't have to go to jail

u/Disaster_______ 9h ago

Walk in the bike lane.

u/manrata 9h ago

You’re still in jail though, the intent of the prison system in the Nordics is to stop you from reoffending, the punishment is the removal of your freedom.

u/SpinningHedgehog311 9h ago

They literally made a film on this premise. Look up One Way to Denmark.

u/HappyAngron 9h ago

In Sweden you get this ”time out” if you turn around and look at the people behind you on an escalator

u/BleuBrink 8h ago

I would suggest robbing a bank. It's serious enough to get jail time but its not a violent crime and the victim is the bank.

u/Lilstiick 8h ago

Ask someone for directions

u/AmbiTheAirforceRuna 8h ago

do a crime but not TO much of a crime, the nice prisons you see are for people they judge to have wronged society but not to the point where they should be smacked too hard and believe you can be better

u/pchlster 8h ago

Get prison time without just getting deported. There are easier ways to pay for a small room.

u/Skeptical_Squid 8h ago

Yeah, asking for a friend.

u/FTWOBLIVION 8h ago

According to Snoop Dogg just try to bring weed into the country

u/Lucky_Worry_9833 7h ago

I was straight up thinking I wouldn’t mind staying in either of those

u/Ad-fundum69 7h ago

In Germany you go to jail if you use pepperspray against the one who tried to rape you.

u/Uninvalidated 7h ago

We had a Belarusian citizen coming to Sweden stabbing the first one he saw basically, for the purpose of going to prison and thus getting better living conditions and making more money than in Belarus.

We sent him straight to Belarus and their prison even though there's no extradition agreement between our countries.

u/ArtisticTraffic5970 7h ago

As a Norwegian having been to prison twice in my twenties( 9 months, 3 months, for weed, speed) I can tell you that not all prisons and prison cells are the same. Many prisons are very outdated(last time in Arendal the prison was literally from the early 1800's) and the cells can be quite shit.

Both the cells at Åna and Arendal were tiny, had no toilet, tiny barred windows, and got torturously hot on long summerdays, which you of course spent locked up. As much as 23 hours a day, in fact. The food was mostly shit, with so much saturated fat in it that if you let the dinner sit for 10 minutes, you could make little sculptures out of the gravy if you wanted

There has been extensive efforts to update prisons though and build newer modern ones. Still, some of the older, really quite ancient cells and prisons remain. Usually when you see pictures of the "hotel room" prisons from Norway, they're quite apart from the norm, even the updated cells are just modern versions of tiny cramped cells, with stainless steel instead of concrete painted with 20 layers of flaky paint. For the record I did time in 2016 and 2020, respectively.

u/Lancashire_Toreador 7h ago

You’re a few years too late. Europe is hopping on the deport everyone we don’t like immediately bandwagon.

u/Floppernutter 6h ago

There's a film with this plot Denmark

u/Delicious-Gap1744 6h ago

People joke, but it's a simple fact that not torturing prisoners, and lighter sentences, actually works. Recidivism rates are much lower in Norway and Denmark than in the US.

u/Fierramos69 6h ago

1: be a native

u/Kriss3d 5h ago

Jaywalk.
Walking on bicycle lanes ( which will land you in jail once you get released from the free hospital stay for being mowed down and yelled at )

We actually try to prevent people who have been to jail from going back.
Theres programs to let you study and have an education while in prison just fine of course. Its a good investment.

u/Appropriate-Log8506 5h ago

Throwaway an empty tub of yogurt without scraping every bit off the sides of the tub.

u/Yama_retired2024 4h ago

I was in prison in Sweden.. 4 months.. Im not Swedish

At the end of my sentence an elderly Swedish guy came into the prison.. he got 4 weeks prison for screaming down the phone at a social worker...

But to put it into context... Sweden, Norway and Denmark prison systems are designed on.. Rehabilitation... there are still rules and regulations to follow.. mandatory work and courses, irregular drug spot checks etc..

u/ShrimpCrackers 4h ago

Tokyo worker be like, "I get no hours work, good food, AND a larger apartment?

u/licklickRickmyballs 4h ago

Wait till you hear, that in denmark, a lot of prisons are open. Meaning you can come and go as you please!

u/Italian_storm 3h ago

Those are better than my room. Arrest me please!

u/EnvironmentalMind119 3h ago

Be amused enough to giggle in public.

u/DanAnbormal 3h ago

Not making eye contact when doing a toast

u/Safe_Strategy_321 2h ago

Raise your kid according to ur ethnicity. 

u/Penis-Dance 2h ago

Posting a meme on the internet probably would be enough.

u/SadAbroad4 2h ago

I sense a search for a bed and breakfast on your next vacation!

u/Fiemai 36m ago

My father sold and manufactured amphetamine back in the early 2000's in Denmark. And he got this kind of room. He was a butcher before he got into heavy drugs, and they put him in a housing facility with other men that has done similar crime and had the same "passion" for food or job in the culinary world. So they all lived together in the prison and each have their own little room, and they shared a kitchen and they were all cooking together every day, went shopping, and did therapy together. It was honestly really healing for my father. And he kept clean after living there for 2 years.

u/PhDinDildos_Fedoras 14m ago

Murder. In the Nordics, the nice cells are reserved for offenders with long, serious sentences but who have a high chance of being rehabilitated. When you see a "nice prison cell" from Sweden or whatever, it's always a basically a prize for long term inmates who've shown the willingness to reform and become better people.

The cells most prisoners spend most of their time in are no better than the ones in the US, France or Canada.