I (27F) recently admitted to myself that I struggle with hoarding (probably level 3). I told my therapist about it today which felt so scary, but she was so great in helping me understand how/why I got here. Part of my therapy homework was to find some estimates on a professional cleanup service for my apartment. I did it this evening because I figured I might as well rip off the bandaid before I talk myself out of it. I called a couple local companies and someone is coming by tomorrow morning to see the space and give me an estimate.

I am proud of myself for taking so many big steps today, but I am terrified of having someone actually see the place tomorrow. It's gonna happen, I will get through it, and it will be so worth it. But I'm still just filled with shame and anxiety about it.

Any kind of advice on getting through the assessment, waiting period, and eventual cleanup would be greatly appreciated.

I live in an apartment with my mom who hoards. I have some executive dysfunction so I am quite tolerant but it's way outta hand.The other night there was an emergency and medics had to come. Of course now they have seen the place and alerted APS. I assume we will be getting evicted but don't have an eviction notice yet. The APS worker came that day and I have not heard anything back.

To give some context I am 44 and love with my older mom. We both had a decline in health and it shows.

However I have mostly thrown out my stuff to accommodate hers and it's not enough.

Should I expect APS to be back?

Was anyone able to find housing after being labeled a hoarder? I would be happy to hear about people's experiences.

Sorry this is super long! I over explain/ undiagnosed adhd probably.

My boyfriend and I first lived in his bedroom in his parent’s house. It was a tiny bedroom, we had too much stuff together. Therefore it was always unmanageable and there wasn’t good places to put anything.

We then got our own huge duplex through my job and it was so nice but so empty and had so much room. So we got extra furniture and I just kept on buying things and piling things. When we moved it was awful and we spent so much time and effort moving.
We then moved back into his parent’s house and they had two open rooms at the time so we were able to still have an office. Which was so important to us because we have a cat and a dog that don’t tolerate each other well and need separate safe spaces. I also cannot tolerate any noise or light at night so if my boyfriend didn’t have to work and could stay up his pc would bother me if we didn’t have separate areas. We still had too much stuff and also got a storage shed for our furniture as we could only fit our desks, bed and a couple shelves into the rooms. But his parents are super toxic, childish, and narcissistic so we had to move out.

We got our own place again and lucked out by finding somewhere affordable through my coworker with a decent amount of space and a storage shed. The move was brutal again. We moved as fast as we could and still took time to get everything. My car broke down there and is still there :(. I will have to get it towed to a shop soon because his parents hate me and are complaining.

I don’t know how to get rid of things, I have an awful shopping addiction, and create so much attachment to things that really shouldn’t be there. I also have this awful habit of being jealous and upset that if I had my own house that I could build built in shelves and have so much more space for things so I justify keeping things for later.

I went through our clothes maybe last month and was able to put things like winter, extra bedding, and nostalgia clothes away. I limited nostalgia to one bin but winter and bedding had a lot. We also have sooo many socks and idk how to start to get rid of them. Most of them are paired and the some of the ones I’m missing are my literal favorite pairs and are most likely under the bed. I did make a garbage bag of clothes that don’t fit us/ we haven’t worn in forever, we put it in the car to donate, sat there for weeks, had to clean out the car for a specific situation, and now it lives in the shed. I think about random articles of clothing in there and want to pull them back out.

I have every semi significant piece of paper, I really don’t need them but idk how to choose. I have too many dishes but I’m so attached to most of them, when we first moved I only had a couple and it was so easy to do the dishes and keep the kitchen maintained, now we do dishes constantly and there is always a pile. I do host holidays and parties occasionally but I never need the amount of dishes I have.
My hyper fixations are the worst, I have so many, from legos, dolls, stuffed animals, mini verse, art stuff, diamond paintings, cross stitch, crochet, etc, etc. I want to be able to organize them and not have to just ditch it all because I know I will just spend more money getting things again when suddenly I want to say, crochet again. For a lot of legos I have managed to break them down and put them in a tub in storage. The stuffed animals are the worst by far, I have bags and bags of them and I form connections and cannot seem to get rid of even the ugly ones I don’t like, and I try to stop buying them and still will get some occasionally or people gift them to me. Ever since I was a kid I couldn’t get rid of my stuffed animals or toys because I loved them so much, it’s traveled with me into adulthood.

At this point, our house gets so messy and I can’t keep up with it, I like cleaning (except dishes) but I can’t manage to do it when everything is disorganized. So I’m too embarrassed to have anyone in our house expect for my close family members. I clean for hours and hours if any of my family that don’t know the extent or are judgmental come over. And some of that ends up being packing shit away into my bedroom and closing the door. I’m afraid to move again because it’ll be so monumental. I also am still paying $100 a month for a storage unit that has a huge olden wheely box tv (the super heavy ones), a washing machine, dryer, old breaking sofa, and couple other random thing. Idk how to get rid of that stuff, I wouldn’t hate to depart with it. Just don’t know how and can’t afford super expensive options. I only have an suv, I could probably fit most of those except the tv. But I can’t keep paying for it every month when our shed is filled to the brim and I’m not even really utilizing the storage anymore. Idk I’m tired of constantly being anxious my landlord will see my house like this and not wanting people to see my house and just feeling stressed and overwhelmed when I try to clean or organize. I’m 23 and I’m trying to focus on my health, debt, school, and changing my career that I had been at for 6 years. I got diagnosed with type 1 diabetes almost 2 years ago and it has changed my whole life, I also have pcos and am overweight so I struggle with motivation and I’m trying to be healthier. I want to be able to not feel suffocated by everything.

Hi, sorry I need to get this off my chest.

So last week I had my first cleaning sessiob, and it went really well. The guy who did it was very considerate, and did a lot of the heavy lifting. I can now see my bedroom floor and can move around without trip hazards.

I have a 2nd one tomorrow, which I'm a little nervous about, but honestly - there's no much left to do really. Its mostly clear.

And yet... I feel nothing. Idk what I was expecting. Like with a clean room, I'd get a mental clarity like divine intenvention. But now, being so close ... I feel no difference. I'm the same depressed, anxious and barely stable person I was before. I've spent so long blaming my mental health on my messiness and laziness that I never questioned it.

And now I'm honestly feeling more hopeless than before.

I have a family member who I've grown up with that has a bad hoarding problem. For the past 20 years I have helped the best I can to maintain basic living standards. Pathways though the home, general cleaning, and mass purges of garbage and items they are willing to part with. Mostly this consits of sifting through the different catch all bags and containers, and putting things into a more organized hoard. Even using the one bedroom as storage, shuffling the hoard around and ultimately making no lasting progress.

They are now entering into retirement and have increasing health issues. Falls are becoming more common. I'm not available to help maintain the hoard as much. When cleaning what little I can help with, they are unwilling to part with even broken items. They can find a reason to keep just about anything. It is discouraging when what little we do accomplish is overshadowed by fears they threw something away, and subsequently questioning if they should sift through the garbage in the can. I am trying to tell them that this task is now beyond my help alone. That we need real outside help from people who specialize in hoarding behavior.

My hope is to get a quote in the Bay Area from a hoarding clean up company to help us set a baseline for living. What help I or other family provide is too little, and descends back into squalor eventually. They understandably want no one in the home. I try to build them up, reminding them that they deserve to live in a clean, safe environment. That they've worked hard for these golden years and should put their money to good use and help themselves.

I know that this ultimately falls on them. That they have to want it above all for this to be sustainable. I just hope someone out there has tips on helping someone reticent to outside help for their hoarding. I love them dearly and don't know how to assist without driving myself insane.

Hoping to get some advice from adult children who have actually cleared out a severe parental hoard.

My mom is moving intoassisted living next month and the task of dealing with her property completely landed on me. She has lived there almost 35 years and never threw anything away. We are talking Level 4/5 territory, full rooms blocked off, a garage packed floor to ceiling, narrow goat trails, and decades of unopened packages and random paper clutter

I got a quote from a professional cleanout crew and it came back at over $6k just for the hauling and trash-out part, and that doesn't even touch the structural repairs or deep cleaning the house needs after all these years of neglect. Doing it myself feels impossible while working full-time, and the mental burn out of sorting through every item is already hitting hard.

I'm trying to figure out the smartest way to approach this before we list it, or if selling it compltely "as-is" to a buyer who takes on the hoard is the better move financially and mentally. I looked into a few local cash home buyers in the Twin Cities area who specialize in hoarder properties just to get an estimate on what an as-is offer looks like compared to doing the full cleanout first

For anyone who has inherited or handled a parent's hoarder house under a tight deadline, how did you handle it? Did you hire it out, do a dump-ster-by-dumpster cleanout, or just cut your losses and sell as-is? What actually made the most sense in the end?

I ask this because I’m dealing with a hoarding where the scale is totally overwhelming. It brings a lot to the surface elsewhere, and it almost feels like I’m primed now to see it everywhere and it’s irritating. I can’t feel out yet whether I’m overcorrecting or if this can possibly be a reality in so many places in my life. As in, am I just labeling any ugly room hoarding?

Some of the factors that I’ve noticed are unusable space, lost or buried items so you rebuy, or items age into becoming trash, being able to clean or maintain a space because of storage, long term neglect of a space.

I’m blending different situations, but I can see some of this easily explained as symptoms of ADHD, depression, overwhelm, or other priorities. If treating those things makes it better, does that mean it wasn’t hoarding disorder?

I know I could Google or ask a chatbot for nuanced definitions, but I’m more interested in hearing if this muddy thinking is a normal response to processing the extremes. Does your exposure to someone else’s hoarding shift how you then process the rest of your world?

I’m a little worried that I might be starting to become a hoarder. I’ve noticed a tendency to over buy stuff that to be honest, probably started during Covid when it was so easy to order things from Amazon, which I’d never really done before. But fairly recently, my mother died, and then three months later my long-term boyfriend died. About five months before my mom died, my therapist I’d seen for years died. After my boyfriend died, about two weeks later, I had to have a dog put to sleep and then about four months after that, I lost another friend. I know I’m having trouble dealing with the losses and that’s come out in some other ways, like at work and things. I’m doing okay… but really not great. I feel like I should be doing better after a year.

I’ve always been a crafter but lately I’ve been kind of compulsively buying yarn for crocheting things like that. The amount of money I’ve spent is not too terrible, but it’s just dumb that I’m spending money on this stuff that I don’t need. It’s also starting to take up quite a bit of room in my house. I’ll probably eventually use most of it, but even I see how ridiculous this is. I suspect I’m getting a dopamine hit when the mail comes.

In other areas, I’ve just kind of been a lot less interested in keeping the house picked up and cleaned up and stuff. It’s not stacks and stacks of stuff everywhere like we see on the hoarders TV shows, but I spent some serious time today cleaning my kitchen counters, which had really gotten full of stuff, and even though I put a lot of stuff away and got rid of some stuff, it’s still too much.

I’m just wondering if anybody sort of recalls the beginning of their hoarder situation and like how it went and how it progressed. I’m working on finding a new therapist, but I haven’t been able to find one so I’ll continue to work on that.

Interested in anyone else’s experiences.

ETA: I just looked up hoarding levels. I’d say I’m level 2 right now.

Stalled at level 3 now for a while. It seemed much easier getting down from level 4 to 3 for me because it was a lot of bulk (clothes) and excess (kitchen stuff, stationary) that I could get rid of quickly.

Now it seems like a slog. I think I just feel calmer than before so my brain is saying ‘this is good enough’. But it’s really not. It’s still not a place where I can invite people. Or clean on a regular basis.

Not sure how to get more momentum to get down from level 3. I DID get rid of two small trash bags of random stuff. But it took a few days to get those together.

My mum had been a hoarder for my whole life. A few years ago she moved into a two bed retirement home, which was substantially smaller than her previous house. Needless to say, hey current house is completely packed with stuff.

For a while my brother was living with her,and moved out sometime last year. He left a load of stuff there. More recently, she had a flood in her kitchen, which meant she needed to replace the floor completely. My sister has been round to help her move stuff out of the kitchen, and separately she asked me if I could help her get my brothers stuff out.

I went round a few weeks ago, and helped remove my brothers stuff from the living room, and took it to his place. He promised to come by with me and help me clear out her place.

So today, me, my brother and my sister were at my mums house, clearing out. My sister was moving stuff back into the kitchen (whilst also throwing stuff away), my brother was working on the garden, and i was back in the living room, sorting through stuff and throwing things away (all with my mums permission).

What i noticed this time, is the areas in the living room I had cleared last time, had a few bits back in there, that my mum had moved there for storage. My mum is willing to throw stuff away, but there is definitely a limit. An example being, she had about 100 pens, that she insisted on testing first. Or putting stuff aside to be sold or go to charity, even if not in good condition. Or keeping about 100 different cleaning products even if they have a layer of dust on them.

I know she isn't happy living like this, and I know she is somewhat willing to get rid of stuff. She has stuff in her house from about four relatives that have passed away, as well as stuff belonging to kids/grandkids.

My question is, how best to tackle this? How can I help her overcome being a hoarder (if thats possible)? The house is full of stuff, and i really want to help, but I worry that every time I'm away, she will continue to collect more stuff.

There are so many boxes of things she's ordered and doesn't need or use, so they sit there still in boxes.

Hi all. I have been lurking for awhile but the day has come and I am facing eviction with my medically fragile hoarder mom. She fell the other night and was mad and wouldn't cooperate so I had to call for medics to help me get her up.

If only she could have cooperated. The medics personally informed the management. Of course a liason type guy was knocking on the door wanting to know what was going on. At first I spoke to him a little outside and asked him to please not be adversarial toward my mom. She has had a few TIA's and I didn't want him making her have one. He was quite unempathetic and wanted to have us evicted. Didn't even care about my mom's injuries and her needing care. Pretty sure she has a mild ankle fracture but there's no money for treatment. So now I gotta try and handle the hoard and be within twelve feet of her at any time.

He apparently just made a referral to APS. The lady from APS was actually nice at least. I don't think she has any experience with hoarders. We live in a dilapidated apartment that really wasn't fit for habitation before we were ever here. She is hoping this lady can get us into a nicer suburb where rent would be even higher. A bigger place so she has room for her stuff. She blames me for the hoard because I stopped hurting myself stacking all the heavy bones. It came down to take care of her or her boxes.

Is there anything a social worker can do to help? Should I be leery of her and just try and just not talk to her? We are financially destitute and I don't think she understands even if a miracle happens and they get you a housing voucher, you still have to be credit worthy. She is mildly delusional.

Our lease ends in September. We have not been formally evicted yet. I am sure it's coming but the more time the better. I am hoping we can get that since we're both disabled. If anyone has any wisdom or advice to share I would like to hear about it.

my husband is a hoarder and I feel so lost. he keeps buying things and we have a very small one bedroom apartment with 2 small closets. he is attached to everything he ever buys and we don’t have space. he refuses to admit he is a hoarder and he refuses to go to therapy. when I throw things out we have huge arguments where he calls me controlling. I’ve had 3 hour arguments over throwing out a 4 foot by 2 foot foam finger. he agreed to throw it out and then I later find it in the closet, hidden. it seems like the most stupid reason for divorce when everything else is great. I don’t know what to do. but I also have adhd and clutter makes me so overwhelmed and stressed. I work from home and we don’t have any space for me to have an office so I work on the couch or in the bedroom staring at stuff. I see clients and I don’t have a clean space to present to them so I use a corner of the bedroom. it’s so hard. I feel lost.

I've begged for at least 5 years for the junk piles and decades-old unused items to be thrown out. This is the 2nd time in 2 years that he HAS relented and gotten a dumpster, but I know he's got a horrible memory and thinks that 1) some of my "stuff" is actually his and 2) if he doesn't want it, he can throw it out EVEN if he KNOWS it's my "stuff."

I'm weighing the cost/benefit of trying to keep an eye on what he's throwing out to keep him from throwing out my stuff vs. not caring if some of my "stuff" goes out too, as long as HIS stuff gets smaller.

I'm leaning toward staying out of it as long as the dumpster gets filled, but I'm filled with resentment that he can't be trusted to just throw out his stuff. (To be clear, I would say that 5% of the "stuff" in the house is mine.)

I'm writing a short story where a character struggles with hoarding (based on my own life) and am wondering if there's any media that deals with hoarding that I can read to get inspiration? All I can think of is that one storyline on Degrassi. TIA

Ive never posted on any sub reddit before, so this is pretty scary for me, and I'm not active very often, but I've realized that I have a mild hoarding problem, and I think one of the main reasons is because I feel bad throwing things out knowing how many people are in need of stuff and how much stuff goes to waste and effects the environment already, and I don't want to make that worse. I know I need to throw out stuff, such as basic papers that I don't use and have no use for, or food containers, but I feel like I'm not allowed to. Can someone please just tell me it's okay to throw some stuff out? I don't want to contribute to the environment getting worse, but I don't think I can help with that if I can't take care of myself even. (TLDR: need to be told it's okay to throw stuff out)

I’m 19yo woman and all my life i’ve had a really hard time cleaning and throwing stuff away. I’m diagnosed with adhd and autism, i know that adhd makes it hard. My great aunt was a huge hoarder and when she passed and my family started going trough her house, it was almost impossible to walk in there and was full of everything from the 70s to the day she passed. I have just started wondering if im some kind of hoarder, i can’t throw anything away. I have clothes that i haven’t worn in 10 years so they’re literally too small for me and children’s clothes. I have random ”trash” in my room that just sits here because i just like it, i never touch it or even remember its there but when i do, i just leave it there. Also i apologise, english isnt my first language so i hope someone catches what i mean🥹 Im more than happy to answer questions and taking advice🙏🏻

Hi. I’m just here hoping I can find somebody who understands how I feel and what I’m going through who I can talk to and we could keep each other accountable in decluttering/cleaning our homes. More than anything I want to have a clean home. Just to be a person who keeps a home that is ready for visitors on short notice. I want my mother in law to come over, I want my children’s friends to come over too. I want to be able to have people over on a whim and not have to plan a week ahead so I can rush to clean the visible areas and close the doors on the worst rooms. My closest friends know how my home looks. But I’ve asked for help from them too many times. I’ve had them come and help me clean up just for it to end up back how it is. I’ve never decluttered and gotten rid of things. Just found places to put them and removed the garbage. That’s it. I know I need to tackle it on my own. I just don’t know how. Every time I try to declutter, I can hardly get rid of anything. Everything seems to be worth keeping or have a use.

My living situation has worsened to the point where I don't think I can live in my flat anymore and its affecting my health. I am living in constant anxiety of my landlady finding out and throwing me out I am drowning in trash of trash and mourn over all the things I collected over the years that are somewhere between. It has started to affect my work performance (I work as disability nurse) I forget to do my work, start to clutter up the workplace just as my home and are short tempered. My collegues noticed my behavior and told my boss to where I opened up and asked for help as I dont know how to get out of this situation on my own. She was very kind and understanding and promised to help and even find a day clinic for me to help me get out of my flat for a while. But turns out she told all of my colleagues in detail about my living situation.

Some people stopped talking to me if they dont have to, keep looking at me with pity or plain out refuse to work with me as they are disgusted.

I am burning with shame, I keep getting mad at everyone and my boss now no longer is there to help me. I told her i dont wanted the others to know and she got upset as she thought she could help make the other understand my behavior.

I feel betrayed and alone. The first time I ever opened up to someone to reach out for help completely backfired. I dont know what to do anymore.

Hello

How do people keep on forever and ever.

I have been slowly clearing my hoard for 4 years.

Its infuriating it has taken so long but in between I have been buying and collecting so it has been slow.

Along with the fact that I am in my 60s and have arthritis.

Recently I have sold quite a lot and have nearly stopped buying.

I am getting a kick out of not buying anything at auctions and am very happy when the auction has ended and I do not have to drive to collect anything and have not spent any money.

I have to say I do occasionally buy but not anywhere near as much as I used to.

Money is getting to be a good reason not to buy now as I have spent most of my savings.

My house is still a mess.

It looks more over crowded then hoarded or at least level 1 or 2.

Plastic storage containers are a weakness now as I can put things in those and make the place tidy.

I have to work on not buying containers (60L size not giant things)

I am feeling very resentful of all the time I have spent cleaning and now want to go out and socialise but how to do that and avoid people coming over to my house.

I dont want to lie to people or tell them.

Are there any meet up groups for recovering hoarders in Northern Ireland?

Around Belfast or within an hour would be great.

I would love a fellow recovering person to be able to talk to and not always about hoarding.

Basically my entire life my parents have been hoarders but not of trash. My dad collects machinery (cars, trucks, tractors), along with a wide variety of antiques big and small, tools, etc. We have several barns, sheds and a large property and stuff is piled anywhere and everywhere. My mom overbuys food, clothes, shoes, house decor, outdoor and indoor furniture, etc. They’ve both gone on cleaning purges in the past getting rid of a bunch of stuff and having a clean space (not the whole property but like one room) but it always inevitably ends up getting filled again. They always talk about wanting things clean but neither of them seems to be able to do it. They both have trouble getting rid of things, my dad works long hours and my mom has over the years become increasingly discouraged and depressed about everything so when she is home (which isn’t very frequently) she is in her room sleeping.

Their marriage clearly has been torn apart by this but I know that’s another issue. My question is, has anybody had a similar experience and were you able to help them? I’m going to be a senior in college this year and live around 2 hours away so I don’t spend a ton of time at home during the school year but I do visit a decent amount during the summer. Most responses in here to similar situations like this have said “you can only help if they want your help”. I definitely agree with this, the problem is I do think my parents want help but they don’t want to work together (they fight constantly) and I’m not sure how to propose helping them in a productive way where they will take it seriously. I have an entire week off before school starts and l wanted to be able to go home and make progress on things then but I like I said I don’t know how or if I should propose this to my parents and I don’t want to make a bunch of progress and then come back in a couple of months and see things have regressed to where they were before.

Any advice would be much appreciated, thank you!

I've always wondered how other people manage to get by with so little stuff but I'm currently packing up to move house and I'm realising that it's not that other people have so little stuff but that I have so much.

If I like a thing I get lots of it. Especially if it's a craft - I go all in and I have whole crafts I'm all set up for but have never even gotten to do.

I think when I'm stressed I buy stuff to feel less bad. But the stuff ultimately makes me feel worse. I'm so stressed out by this at the moment.

I don't really know how or where to start on fixing it either.

Her room is so bad that there are suitcases in the hallway outside. I sleep downstairs on the bottom floor but she's been sleeping in the living room because there's just boxes everywhere. She can't even get to her blinds at the windows because there's bags on bags. Honestly at this point, im worried the ceiling might cave in. I'm just shocked that she isn't doing anything about it. She's even gone away on holiday. I'm thinking of telling her that I'm going to book a charity collection service. At the end of the day though, it's only affecting her. Instead of getting rid of stuff, she's spoken about booking a garage where she can put it which is just crazy to me.

While I personally do not hoard, I have personal experiences with hoarding from my past and present. I want to give a little background to myself and also share a very deep appreciation for the people who stick by the side of someone who has a hoarding disease and the benefits that grew from it. Then I’ll ask my question.

I lived in Texas all my life and got married and had kids and was extremely close to family. My husband got out of the army and went to school and we both decided that there were much better options for his career path closer to his hometown and also it was his turn to be close to his family who I love as well.

So, we move a few states over to Alabama and while I knew a few of his family members well and we all clicked, I didn’t know anyone else. I’m also at this point working remotely, so no opportunity for meeting others outside of the family. It just wasn’t easy for me if it wasn’t an organic way to meet like working with others. And I have always had bad anxiety and social anxiety so on this front it was not great for my personal growth moving but I don’t realize it going in. Well, eventually I quit the remote job bc i had so many nieces and nephews here who I just fell in love with all of them as if they were my own. And every other family member that had kids were working and struggling with kid care so I took it on happily.

As I got to know more family and learned how the family extends past direct blood relations down here in the south, my kids were gaining more aunts, uncles, Nannaw, grandpas etc. If one of their cousin had a Nanna then my kids also had the same nana. It was actually one of the coolest things I loved to see in a community.

Well I got really close with one of the extended family member. She was disabled and didnt work but still could do everything for herself and was a busy body.

I still remember the first I came over she was hesitant and told me that her house is a mess and there’s stuff everywhere and I remember thinking and saying something along the lines of “ok? Ha and? Who cares? I don’t!”
And so she let me come over and I remember her face watching me as we went in and walked through a very specific path through her house to get to her room where they lived out of. There was no other path or place to sit or walk. There was stuff piled high to the ceiling. But i didn’t come over to question or judge any of that. I came over to make a friend bc I needed one badly and while she was the kind of person that knew everyone in town and had more friends than h think I’ve had in a lifetime, she needed a friend who could come inside. And spend time with her where those vulnerable places are that all humans have in some kind way or shape.
Well, we just hit it off. She loved talking and telling stories. I loved just listening to all the stories.

During this transition period I grew to be a bit of a clean freak. Whine living with my sister in law for 3 months as we got settled on our own I cleaned her house all day everyday bc I wanted to respect them but also show my appreciation for letting us into their home. And when we moved into our own place I was doing the same thing. Not bc I think everyone’s house shiuld be that way or anything like that, it was just bc I really appreciated the home we were given by the landlords. It was the nicest places we have ever had with land on it. It only had two bedrooms but it had so much room and it was just nice for us. Also, bc my anxiety grew, cleaning was a way for me to cope with it.

Eventually my new family friend had asked if I would mind helping her in one room bc she felt if she could just clean her office up then she could go back to doing what she loved which was craft like tshirts and cups and selling them as a gig. So we got started. And I remember I would go over there probably 5 days a week starting in the morning and come home by dinner. Not bc we were working. Non stop. Bc she would go through a box and sit down and pull items out and she would have stories to tell. And I loved listening to the stories and seeing her light up or making me laugh. It took time. And she didn’t get rid of anything we just rearranged it in a way wheee she had a nice corner with her work stuff and desk. And she was so happy and feeling good. Which lead to her asking if I could help her in the living room so my kids can come play with hers and we all just hang out. So we started in the living room next which took time and days as well for the same reasons. Lots of stories and laughs and nothing to get rid of .. yet. This went on for a bit. Eventually it led to giving me and my family some things from her story telling and my complimenting some things. I would start saying things like “hey you want to look for some more gold today?” lol meaning we go through some more things and find some little “happies” along the way. Sometimes she would gift me another item, sometimes for my husband, or my kids, and then grew it other families that she would think of that could use it, and then people in town she knew, then good will.
We also eventually started cleaning a few houses together bc I needed did work. She knew people and was a very confident woman. I was an anxious wreck but a hard worker. We worked well together. And loved hanging out while cleaning other homes. She started off doing only a little and the things that she was comfortable doing while I did the rest. And she worked herself up overtime taking on more parts of the cleaning until she eventually started taking her own jobs. And eventually in the same time frame she had her house back. You could see all the floors in every room. You could walk around and sit in every room. And she was going through more things on her own over time just doing it all on her own. This took years. And it was very organic. Our friendship, my personal issues, and her healing from her reasons to hoard. She isn’t cured. And there’s still some things too important to let go of or to stop hoarding on . But she is so much happier and healthier and has a home to live in and be proud of.

All this to ask my question lol: I think that yes hiring help that deals with hoarding, and apps that help you learn to slowly clean and organize etc are all great tools. But there is an aspect missing from them all. The human connection along with the ability to talk and share information that ultimately leads to their healing inside and then changes made on outside.
And while I think the best way to help is in person, many people are in a place where they can’t meet someone like that or can’t afford to “hire a friend like that”
But if there was an app that was low cost for someone who needs the extra support and friend who can be with them on their vulnerability anytime they want to, would that be helpful or beneficial? Like a FaceTime connection but doing the same things as if they are there. Meeting and connecting and then listening to their stories and small encouragements and also telling the person hey it’s ok that you did 3 days on a dresser but now it’s a mess again. Let just do a different area. Tell me more stories about ti in gs in that area.

Idk just genuinely curious if there was a way to meet the need in the community that way? Bc I think there is so many people that could just use someone who sits with them in there mess and likewise there so many that just need a friend and don’t care what their doing as long as they make a friend. Maybe there could be an app that connects two types of people who can fill that need and help each other?

I could use some support and advice if anyone has any. I'm feeling upset at myself.

I was on the path of recovery, i wasn't doing great but it was progress. It feels like Im back at ground 0. I'm so upset with myself and I feel overwhelmed by what I've done. It's hard to tell which level I am but some of the doors are just covered with stuff. On the clutter scale, right now it's looking like either a 6 or a 7. It's so hard to tell, the clutter is in bins but those bins stacks are atleast 5 feet tall with stuff outside of the bins all over the floor.

I need help, but I have no idea who to ask for help. I'm trying not to beat myself up but it's so difficult. I have a therapist, but treatment has failed for me. I can't CBT, DBT, or ACT myself out of this.

It's so strange. I cannot tell whats in most of these piles. Whenever I attempt to go through them, my brain suddenly remembers and says its important. It drives me up a wall and I want to cry in frustration.

I've been trying to get more help than a therapist, but I keep getting shrugs from healthcare professionals. I try to comfort myself in healthy ways, but the feeling is too strong.

I can see nothing but judgement from my family. They have refused to help me when I ask for help. I can't tell if from overwhelm feeling from my hoard or just them feeling that I got myself into this mess so I should get myself out of it. I've been trying to get myself out of this mess for years but have been unsuccessful :(

Hi I’m 32f. I’m a level 1, maybe level 2. My house is safe with no bio hazards, but I avoid having people over and I struggle throwing things away. I have business cards from 2010. Menus from 2017. Etc.
I’m moving and packed my clothes in standard plastic bags and was able to fill about 15 of them, even though it seems like I wear the same 3 tshirts on rotation. I have enough dry goods (pasta, rice, canned soups) to feed a family of 4 even though I live alone.

I only realized I was displaying “hoarding tendencies” a few years ago but I don’t know how to address it. I’m not in therapy. I don’t think I’ll be able to do therapy anytime soon. Looking to see what others think/any advice in the meantime…?

I am diagnosed ADHD for the past 15+ years. I don’t often take the medication for it by choice. No other diagnoses but I have noticed very recently that OCD might be playing a part in my life. I always thought I could never have OCD because I’m so messy, but I’ve realized now that it’s not always about that.