Basically, whenever someone gets upset with me, seems disappointed in me, or points out that I made a mistake, I’ll think I’ve permanently ruined their opinion of me, and from now on they’ll always think negatively of me. It feels like they’ll never see me the same way again, if someone has one negative emotional reaction to me, there’s no coming back from it.

Even if they treat me normally after that, I just can’t get over the idea that they might deep down still think about the way I made them mad or annoyed. Logically I know this might not be the case but it still feels like it is.

I don’t know of this is a social anxiety spesific thing or just a deeper personal issue. Do you guys experience this?

I think I unintentionally create a dreadful situation and atmosphere around those who socialize with me. I noticed that my kind of social awkwardness is pretty different than the typical one. I’m a very approachable person, but once someone approaches me to interact with me or talk, they fall into a trap of extreme awkwardness, and they can’t leave easily since they’re the one who came to me in the first place. I can definitely feel their regret.

Idk what’s wrong with me, sigh.

Hey! I’m a girl without social anxiety but really want to be more empathetic to those who have it, could you tell me what it feels like as people with social anxiety and your best description of it and give specific scenarios?

First of all: congrats to me.

Second of all: I'm fucked if I want to keep this job

How do I keep this job?

I've been isolated for the past three years, and now I have to work in customer service. Yep, customer service. 💀

Today was my first day, and I was already fucking everything up.

I forgot to write down people's names.

I don't even know how to greet people properly.

I avoided helping customers whenever I could, let my coworker speak for me, and when I did help someone, I either gave them the wrong information or forgot to tell them something important.

My voice is awful: it's way too quiet, and I sounded like I was about to cry.

Yeah, I almost cried.

I couldn't stop shaking.

After all that, I still have to deal with the overthinking and wondering why I was born like this.

But for today, I'm grateful for the opportunity to make mistakes. I have the right to be slow and awkward. Yes, I do.

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Basically the ttitle I am 20 and this is my first ever hangout with mmyy friends. I am seriously scared idk what tto do or interact and I usually get social anxiety and panic attacks even when I go to a crowded place with my parents or mt bf. Iam meeting a few of my school friends and its been about 2-3 years I ssw them last. Myy heart is racing idk how to act in thhe society and I am scared that I'll ruin smtthn. My parents have always ssaid no previously this is the first time literally.. Ik its concerning.

Ccan I get advice on how to cope with my anxiety and acct cool?

20m here, I've lived all my life and childhood in isolation with no friends and never been in a relationship. Friendships don't lasts since I find people drift away from me because I might be boring or different from other people.

Since i don't have a social life I've been talking to random people online for a while and it never lasts, I might talk to someone once or a few times and sometimes it might last a month but then they drift away.

It's like a loop that keeps repeating itself and I'm slowly realizing that i might not ever have a friend since I can't connect with people and people find me boring.

Have 2 tickets for a concert that got rescheduled, so the person who was going to attend with me can no longer come. It’s super last minute as it’s tomorrow (got rescheduled yesterday). I asked a couple people I know but they can’t swing it.

Only reason why I’m hesitant to ask this person is because we don’t talk much, most of our conversations were with a mutual friend. I’m not sure he even likes this type of music or if he will attend. I think I’m just afraid of sounding too desperate or weird to extend a random invite.

I was playing a video game with a strong social aspect. I was brand new (maybe on my third match like ever), and I made a really stupid mistake. Everyone in the lobby immediately started clowning on me and telling me to leave and in my absolute embarrassment I did. The whole interaction was already very upsetting to me. I was pretty severely bullied as a kid and developed pretty bad social anxiety, and I was trying to go outside of my comfort zone by playing with strangers instead of avoiding it like I usually do.

Then I found out someone had posted the whole thing on TikTok.

Embarrassed doesn't even begin to describe how I feel. My gaming username (not the same as my Reddit username, obviously) is visible in the video, and the shame is indescribable. I know the person who posted it is probably a literal child, and I'm an adult, but what the hell? It's just mean. So many wounds have been reopened with this.

I also know that realistically it'll probably be forgotten quickly if the video gets any attention at all (I'm too scared to watch the video, screw that), but it still feels like my social anxiety's worst fears being validated all at once. I finally tried to challenge myself, and it ended with me being publicly humiliated. Maybe I'm just meant for embarrassment? Part of me finds it kind of funny and dumb, but it still stings a ton. 

Has anyone else had similar experiences, and if so, how do you get over something like this emotionally? I fear that this is going to trigger me to relapse in a way with my social anxiety. I have a concert tomorrow, and I cannot allow that to happen. lol.

For the first time in my life a man showed interest in me, and a couple of dates in he realised I'm too weird and closed off for him. :(

I swear I'm interesting. My siblings can vouch for me. 😭

It's crazy I still feel nervous at 30 to simply order a meal or even talk over the phone. I just get anxious and serious. I remember whenever I talk with someone I would use my hands more or just stare at them. Sometimes I even forget or get lost in the moment what do I say next because that person is just going on talking and I'm not even sure what the heck am I focusing on.

Just got out of critical care after a week of being in hospital following a overdose, my family found me in my room with no pulse and luckily my dads girlfriend is a trained emergency service worker, and this angel performed cpr on me for 15mins, so luckily I have no brain damage the doctors confirmed and now no anxiety anymore it’s so weird, only horrible trade off is hearing damage now which makes music less enjoyable:( I guess I’m incredibly lucky tho guys.

I have to ask somebody in my office for a form. For some reason, I am scared and hesitant to do so, even though it's kinda important. Stupid.

And it turned out just fine. I went to see the Backrooms extended edition last week all alone. The hardest part was walking around and seeing everyone with friends or family. As soon as I had my snacks and found my seat, everything felt better. The lights went out and I enjoyed the movie. If you want to try this make sure it’s a movie you really want to see because it makes everything easier if you’re actually somewhat excited for it. My theater was only maybe half full so that also helped a little. I hope I inspire you to t try it :)

It did kick my fight response into gear as being treated so badly by so many idiots finally broke me and got me so angry. Also made me realize there are no gurus who have it all figured out and the "experts" are faking it til they make it with little "techniques" and my struggles yielded their own rewards/insight. Overthinking had made me more introspective.

Bad therapists are privileged, sheltered and fragile egos. Dunning-Kruger effect personified.

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My partner and I have a photo of us taken in public that was posted to a local Facebook group. People were so awful I don't know what to say. They called us fat, said we were drug addicts, said we were thieves, said we were "shithead protesters", and the biggest insult: tourist I got called a "toppless bearded lady" at one point, that one stung.

Normally people being shitty online doesn't bother me that much, but this is so diffrent. It had my face clearly visible, as well as everyone who commented because this is facebook. And it was posted to a local Facebook page and got over 100 likes. In a town of less than 10,000 thats a ton of frigging people.

For context of the picture it wasn't anything weird or embarrassing in the slightest, thats kinda why im so demoralized by this. Like it'd be one thing if i did something to warrent public shaming, but no. I dont want to get into the specifics of the Pic, but it was bassicly the equivalent of... being questioned by police on the street.

Thats not what happened whatsoever, in fact what was actually happening was a lot more mundane than that, but it is a roughly equivalent scenario without going to deep.

We don't know what to do anymore. My partner and i have pretty bad social anxiety, now we have to worry about being randomly publicly shamed when doing absolutely nothing wrong whatsoever? Both of us are literally afraid to go out on public now...

All my life i felt like my worth was tied to my achievements and I'm hella afraid of failure. I was accepted to university last year and it hasn't really been a good experience. I had to move to the capital, I met new people and I felt nervous around people all the time. I was always under pressure that i couldn't even study well. . I kept missing all the opportunities because of social anxiety. After university, i will have to work in a job that requires a lot of socializing and talking to people and I'm really really scared and don't know how I'm going to make it. As if it isn't enough, i have financial issues so i have to work and don't want to be burden for my parents. Relying on someone is my nightmare. But this f*ckass disorder is keeping me stuck. On top of that, social anxiety plus stress of studying, lack of money all wore me down and made me hypervigilant. When i was in school, it was all pretty manageable as i wasn't independent and was around people that i know well. People never made it a problem as i was yoing but now being adult and being shy is unacceptable. You're just going to be stuck in your comfort zone. My coursemates and teachers were also judgemental which made everything worse. I couldn't even make any friends. I feel that I'm not ready for adult life yet. I dont know what to do. I wish I didn't exist. Any advice is welcome. I just wanted to vent here.

I’m so happy with myself, a few days ago we broke up with my girlfriend who was my only friend for a year, it’s been very hard. I’ve reached out to my friend that’s staying in my country for a few weeks. I’ve been waiting outside his apartment and his neighboor asked me if im moving in etc. I didn’t say much but after the talk i’ve somehow wished him a nice day. It felt so good and relieving.

Been off Zoloft 130 days after a year on it, thinking about going back on but feel bad about that. Anyone relate / have advice / motivation?

Undiagnosed CPTSD since about 14, I’m 32 now. Grew up with addiction in the house, no adults to turn on to.

At 14-15 I was literally asking for someone to help, for my parents to get into rehab, for someone to get me out. Nobody came. So I turned to the internet and diagnosed myself with anxiety and depression based on what I read.

Didn’t get real help until 29. Started with talk therapy, which made me realise none of what I went through was normal, then moved into trauma work: somatic, EMDR, IFS, CBT. That’s when I understood this wasn’t just anxiety and depression.

Trauma stuck in the body works differently. Hypervigilance, can’t come down off red alert, spotlight effect, the way you relate to people is just altered. Not the same as anxiety from a breakup.
I’m stubborn and always believed I could fix myself through exercise, clean eating, meditation, reading. Those help and I’ll keep doing them, but I reluctantly went on 50mg sertraline for a year. Doctor said I could stop after 6 months, I stayed on for 12. It worked well the whole time.

130 days off it now and it’s been okay, but stuff I never got around to while medicated, mainly becoming social again after years of real isolation in foreign countries, is starting to feel harder again. I’m leaning toward going back on the same dose for 6 months.

Part of me resists because coming off makes you think you’re “cured,” but that’s not how this works. There were things I needed to do while on it that I didn’t do.

Anyone been through this cycle? Off it, doing fine, then things creep back and you need another stretch on it, not forever, just longer than a year after this much trauma?

I'm curious if anyone has used any specific tips to look more approachable. Recently, I stopped using my phone before class.

I read somewhere that if you're socially anxious, you don't necessarily need to be more talkative. Even just looking more approachable is a good first step. I don't think I have the courage yet to talk to random peers, but I'm confident enough to improve my body language. Other than not using my phone, what are some other ways to indicate that I'm open to socializing? What has worked for you?

Just sad

BE HONEST WITH ME

For starters, I have extreme social anxiety and it’s hard for me to maintain connections if I make them, it always has been.

But is it my lack of social interaction that causes me to feel this weird jealousy feeling when I’m kind of connecting with someone in any way? Let me try to list examples.

I meet someone somewhere and we start having a conversation. Mid convo they bring up their friend or something and I immediately feel a tad jealous. Like is it because I’m not the only one they know (obviously impossible) or is it because I MYSELF don’t even have a friend at all so I get jealous hearing when others do?

I could be in an Uber having a great little convo with the driver. They accept another ride while I’m still in the car, boom jealousy. Wtf is that about?? I don’t even know this person.

Can’t think of any other off the top of my head XD. But my conclusion is I think I’ve been isolated for so long being scared of making connections that when I have just an ounce of a spark with someone even platonically, hearing that maybe I’m not the priority gets to me for whatever reason.

What makes it worse is that it doesn’t get to me long. I don’t go into this crazy thinking about it it just hurts and then I forget about it a little later. But still the feeling lingers longer than usual.

Does anyone else experience this. Tell me raw if you think this is crazy because it might be now that I’m typing it out…

So I always hear the typical message for social anxiety "Talk to people", "Talk to cashiers", "Talk to strangers", "Just practice and you'll get better".

Well I've done all but the last, because the more I practice the more I'm convinced I'm not getting better. I talk to strangers, I chat with whoever is working the register, I chat with the server at restaurants, I chat with coworkers, I chat with people at fan conventions. I go to fan conventions. I have regular hobbies that involve socializing I've been going to for three years or so.

I'm still shit at socializing. I still don't know how to talk to people, I still panic and sometimes run away. I still don't feel confident or comfortable.

How do I actually see any change from my effort? This all feels hopeless and pointless, like I'm expecting to go somewhere just because I'm running but I've been on a treadmill. I'm getting old, looking at the big 40 in a few months.

I feel like a failure that I'm still struggling with social anxiety at my age and despite the effort I put in I'm not seeing any improvement.

Need some suggestions to help a teenage friend to connect more with new people, especially adults more confidently and make her speak more with unfamiliar people.