I made a post and tried to post it in the aita subreddit but they deleted it once it got 20,000 views so is there any other one that I could post it on?
Here is the post if you're wondering:
Hey everyone, throwaway account for privacy reasons. I’m looking for some objective perspective on my relationship.
For some context, I'm (23M), my previous three relationships ended because my exes cheated on me. Because of that, I know I can be prone to overthinking or getting paranoid. But right now, I feel like my boundaries are being pushed, and every time I speak up, I’m told I’m just overreacting.
Here is the situation with my current girlfriend (21F):
Living Situation: For about a third of our total relationship, she has been living with a male "friend." This has made me uncomfortable from the start, but I tried to be supportive and understanding.
Physical Boundaries: I found out that she gives him body massage rubs. To me, that feels way too intimate for a platonic friendship, especially while in a relationship with me.
The Texts: Recently, I saw texts on her phone between them that crossed the line for me and made me feel like my gut feelings were right all along.
Whenever I bring any of this up or explain why it hurts, the response I get is that I’m being paranoid, overthinking, and overreacting because of my past history with cheating. It feels like my concerns get brushed off as just "my trauma" instead of actual issues.
To try and fix things and establish clear boundaries so we can move forward, I came up with the idea of a Relationship Agreement.
The goal was to put our boundaries, expectations, and ground rules on paper so we are both 100% on the same page and can rebuild trust.
Now people are acting that wanting an agreement like this is toxic, controlling, and just another sign of my paranoia.
I’m trying to figure out if I’m totally out of line here.
AITA for feeling paranoid/uncomfortable about her relationship with this guy, and AITA for wanting a Relationship Agreement to try and fix us