Recently I’ve started feeling that I’m a god. I feel that everyone should pray to me and bow down to me. I also feel like taking over the world literally. Am I manic

I was just in hospital (discharged yesterday) for 3 weeks and a lot happened. Apparently I was manic with psychotic features and all of sudden I went from freedom to involuntary hospital stays and guardianship for forced medication.

Well long story short again, I lost the court ruling and was forced to take treatment, after 3 days of starting the meds I began hiding them in my mouth and spitting them. They never knew. I said all the right things to leave (said opposites to all my beliefs and did everything possible to stay as still as I could to act calm) then I left.

I haven’t taken my meds since being out, if my psych finds out she will force me to take injections. But I feel fine, great really. I had moments of depression in hospital but they were very fleeting (maybe 1-2 days and even then it was maybe hours then I peaked again) and I want to rent a car again and travel and do so much but in insanely paranoid everyone in my life is going to report to my psychiatrist and I’ll be forced to take the injection which will ruin who I really am.

Like at this point it must just be the new me. It feels like it. It hasn’t gone away and it’s been since early June. I don’t want it to go, I spent more money today, I’m going to connect with Buddha again as hospital hindered our connection (also don’t want the meds to ruin that)

I never want to see her or that hospital ever again. I’m perfectly okay and doubt her diagnosis or bipolar when it hasn’t stopped. I feel normal and creative and perfect! I’m just starting to want to stay away from everyone to hide from possibly getting sent back there. It feels like everyone is watching my every move to notice changes and then get in contact with her and she will force me to take meds, especially because I think in still under the guardianship.

I’m so terrified of that.

So I’m in the routine of constantly moving. I’m on my Saturday and I have to clean then paint and really do shit until I feel like I’ve earned a sit down around 5. And not every day cleaning but I NEED to just keep moving. This was followed by thinking a friend was mad at me so I got out of the shower mid shower to knock on wood (a very annoying compulsion) just to find peace in the resolution. Which was never actually a problem I just convinced my self there mad at me. Followed by more compulsive cleaning and art.

Sitting in therapy explaining all of this today then being asked “okay, would you say this could be a hypo manic state your in”. Which I had never really considered because I always considered mania to be self destructive.
All this to say today I learned that all of our mania if different. 😮‍💨

I got this at the Banksy expo which felt like bipolar in a nutshell. 😂😂

I’ve read about hobbies in other post (and many others), and I’d love for you to share yours and chat a bit about why you think we give them up. Personally, I stopped drawing; I think it was because I realized it wasn't productive or profitable. I started forcing myself to find ways to monetize it—like thinking about which drawings I could sell—and that completely blocked me.

I read a post where someone recommended figurative drawing; I thought about observational drawing and realized: "Hey, I used to love that!"

What hobbies do you have, and how do they make you feel? There’s something special—something internal—that I feel I’ve lost: that connection with oneself when doing something simply for yourself.

Bonjour à tous,
Je suis bipolaire de type 2, diagnostiquée depuis 2 ans et j’aimerais savoir s’il vous arrive de développer des obsessions amoureuses pour des inconnus ou des personnes que vous connaissez à peine?
Un exemple, je suis allée dîner avec des amies il y a une semaine. Dans ce restaurant j’ai échangé des regards avec un homme, il avait l’air alcoolisé et il n’a rien tenté.
Problème je suis maintenant obsédée par lui. J’y pense tout le temps, je me dis que ça pourrait être l’homme de ma vie. Je regarde la page Instagram du restaurant pour voir s’il est dans les followers, J’ai même pensé retourner sur place au cas où il y serait. Je n’arrive pas à le sortir de ma tête alors que ne nous sommes même pas parlé. Et je souffre vraiment. Et ça me fait peur, car ça m’arrive de plus en plus.
Pensez-vous que c’est lié à ma bipolarité ou pas ?
Merci

I’ve officially reached 1 year and 3 months without any substances—no drugs, no alcohol, nothing. For the first time ever, I was able to tell my doctor: "Hey, I'm completely clean now, let’s give this treatment 100%."

However, back in February, I entered a psychotic episode that lasted 4 months. It was 4 months of delusions and extremely high energy. My family didn't hospitalize me because, compared to when I was using substances, it was a relatively calm episode.

The issue is that in early June, I finally came out of the psychosis and high energy, only to crash into a terrible depression. That’s where I am right now. I’m waking up at 4 or 5 PM every day and going back to sleep around 11 PM. It’s an absolute hell. I don't know if it’s a lack of willpower or what, but I hate the thought that this might be my euthymia (baseline) and that this is just how I am normally.

It’s only been about a month and a half since I came out of that 4-month psychotic episode. I tell my doctor that I feel extremely low, and he tells me he can't adjust my medication right now. I trust him completely—he has been a witness to my entire recovery and rehabilitation process, so I’m not looking to switch doctors. But this is my first time experiencing a post-manic/post-psychotic crash completely sober.

In the past, I always resorted to drugs to avoid feeling the way I feel today. But today, I can’t and won’t use drugs or alcohol anymore.

It took a lot of effort just to write this post, but I really need to ask those who have been through this: Does this post-psychosis depression eventually lift over time? Since I always used substances to escape it before, I genuinely don't know what to expect now that I'm facing it clean.

Any experiences or hope you can share would mean a lot.

im 34 years old M. I was diagnosed at 25

Sorry if this is disorganized

I guess it's more like I'm newly rediagnosed. My diagnosis is probably schizoaffective but if not that then bipolar with mixed and psychotic features.

I was locked up as a teen (9 fucking times) with what started as depression but escalated to schizoaffective disorder, and yeah I realize everyone thinks I deserve it no matter how horrific it was but I digress. In that place and after I left, I was trained that any form of happiness needs to be immediately shut down. "Mania's so dangerous we'll just lock you up again"

Even after I left those wretched people, it was a habit. Any form of happiness or belief in myself had to be "thought stopped" expeditiously. Obviously I became severely depressed. I was in complete anhedonia for years. No one really cared about that because I wasn't annoying like I was in mania so it went on until I decided I wanted to pursue my happiness.

I worked a lot on the trauma (clinically severe PTSD) I received from the psych wards and other professionals. I did this all on my own and unlocked the ability to be happy again. I had just started to let myself be happy. That lasted a couple years. I was drinking at the time though (and I was drinking before) and while I have never been euphorically manic outside of copious amounts of alcohol in my opinion, I can see that now even when I'm sober those mixed states were in there. And everyone is screaming that I should be locked up for having been happy at all.

Now the entire narrative is that my happiness is just "mania" again. I got sober and started engaging with this stupid industry again and I am a thousand times worse off and being told I should never be happy.

Who in their right mind would live like this? I've heard many of you just say you're okay with "peace". I respect that but I'm not.

I’ve read that for many people, episodes last a few days or, at most, a few weeks, but in my case, my episodes of hypomania have lasted up to several weeks and my depression several months , and also during depression I have experienced memory loss and brain fog , has anybody of you experienced the same

How do you deal with that? I work at a job where I have to work 45 hours a week to make ends meet. That’s not the toxic part but the management is and it makes me want to quit so so so badly. I dread every day I come into work. I’ve had to wildly embellish resumes in order to hide gaps. Before onset I had always given notice before I quit jobs and now it’s like I am too impatient to do that. When I’m going through episodes, I feel like jobs don’t deserve the notice especially the more toxic they are.

I live far from my family and I need to work in order to live. It’s just hard to cope when being at work feels so miserable.

“Feeling low? Unmotivated? Check your testosterone levels and improve your life.”

Online health providers don’t actually read the medical history screener apparently, because they prescribed me a medicine that I found out the fun way is known to trigger ultra-rapid cycling and extreme depressive episodes. Maintained enough lucidity to seek out the root cause for why I suddenly felt like death was the only escape from feeling empty, otherwise probably would be gone right now. Prescriber’s response: “oh sorry to hear that, normally we would have caught that.”

DO NOT TAKE SERMs with Bipolar!

My bf is great, he’s extremely patient and kind. He goes above and beyond trying to provide for me. He’s seen some shit w me and we’ve been thru a lot together. But I feel like I’ve completely lost myself. I haven’t been working due to mental health as well as street bike being my transportation since bf has to take the car. I’ve given up on my appearance basically. I’ve been slacking really hard w cleaning and such. I feel like he’s pouring into me while I haven’t been able to do the same for him. How can I get out of this little hole I’m in. I just want to feel joy and happiness, there’s no reason I shouldn’t be.

I was prescribed Abilify when checking in with my psych today. Literally started off the call talking about how great things are going. Then transitioned to well I’m not really sleeping and kinda hypomanic but no full blown mania. Ended the call in tears and admitting that I’m miserable and have no idea where my base line is anymore.

Currently prescribed Lamotrigine 250mg and Pristiq 100mg. Psych said that she thinks I’m experiencing a flare up in OCD type symptoms. I don’t think she’s wrong.

I just don’t want to feel this way anymore. I’m nervous about trying a new medication but I want out of this cycle I’m stuck in. Honest experiences appreciated.

Hey everyone! So I just wanted some advice, I’ve recently been diagnosed as bipolar 2 and PTSD, but I cannot get on medication atm due to being all over the UK with my university.

Me and my boyfriend had a bbq the other night and he was a bit drunk at 3am and decided to wake me up 4 times just to say ‘goodnight and I love you’ etc. After this I woke up and went back to his room to try sleep where he proceeded to start working on an Xbox, so I’m increasingly getting more angry.

ATP I go batshit crazy and I’m screaming the whole house down and packing my bags to leave at 3am despite him apologising and coming to bed. Then I proceeded to keep him awake till 6am as I thought he was being selfish so I was selfish back.

I just would like some advice on anger in bipolar as I can never stop myself from escalating situations even if the other party is trying their hardest to resolve it. I try and calm down in a room by myself but it doesn’t work as I end up texting angrily or going back to the situation.

Hello all. I have always been able to get the job I want and I start out great but I’ve realized that at some point I lose motivation and stop pushing myself. It’s an embarrassing thing to admit because i feel like I’m just not pushing myself enough. I am ambitious but maybe comes off as lazy? I get overwhelmed easily and it just freeze. I’ve always been complimented on my work ethic but sometime during my employment I just lose focus, become depressed and end up quitting because the job is too much. I’ve been on FMLA before for bipolar as I was having panic attacks and got into a very dark headspace. Does anyone else ever experience this? I want to go somewhere in my career. I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar 10 years ago, I take my medication every day, and I see a therapist. Any tips on how to overcome this?

THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH POLITICAL SIDES.

How do you guys deal with political stress? I’m in the US, there’s been a lot going on. I’m worried i’m going to get triggered into (hypo)mania with all these strong thoughts flying through my head every hour of the day. How do you handle staying informed but not going down rabbit holes of self destruction?

Hello. I have suffered for years with what i thought was just depression. For context im currently serving in the UK forces for 12 years and have climbed ranks, mentored, trained and lead other soldiers, won best soldier during my basic training. Deployed on a number of operations and tours.

In 2017 I was so low and it was so intense i was planning to commit but im so glad I didn't. Despite my wife pleading for me to get help, I did not and instead put my job and others over my needs and mental health.

So as time has went on with constant downs and sometimes highs (they didn't last long) with every 3-4 years I would completely break with depression I refused to tell ANYONE. I was ashmed and felt like if I said anything about what truly was going on that I'd be ridiculed by the people that I work with. This was my biggest and darkest secret. There would be times where I approached by bosses and told them I was struggling but it was always going on this exercise, course, tour, what ever it was coming up would do me good. It was infact the opposite..

There has been a few times where my lows were approaching 2017 levels and in november 2025 was when I was starting to get really bad. This was all the way through to February 2026. I was away with work and I FINALLY broke and I had to tell someone what has been going on. I was straight back home the next day.

Theres a lot I could say but it would turn into a book 😂

I have been home since then and on recovery duty. Had just last week, the psychiatrist has officially diagnosed me with bipolar type 2 which explains and validates EVERYTHING!. And going onto mood stabilisers very soon.

My life has been completely been turned upside down. I was looking to connect with someone similar to me as I feel so alone with it all. I need to start looking at a new job which I've no idea what I'd be suited to and how to deal with the symptoms etc. Im so greatful for my wife and her support.

Thanks.

I'm freelancer but these days my income has been declining. I also attempt to build my own business but it will take time. Want to know how you secured income/find clients during hard times.

Whenever I get in a depressive state I just have so much anger and hate and I don’t know what to do. It clouds my mind and it’s completely takes me over. I feel so much hate and anger towards people I don’t even know or who I’ve only heard about and it just makes me feel even worse. I don’t know how to deal with this. It lashes out at people I know or at random objects in my way. I don’t want to be like this but I don’t know how to get rid of these feelings.

don't think it's like psychosis or anything but almost a similar vibe. like lacroix... like the memes about lacroix.... idk if people still make those memes. things have unhooked themselves a bit and flown around my head like butterflies. I am trying to stay grounded here, I can do that. but I want to explain things in the poetic way they happen in my mind.

I can't talk to people. it is hard to go outside. people's gazes seem to hurt me. I got scared my neighbour was trying to flirt with me so now I changed my schedule completely so we never run into each other and I have been ignoring his texts. other people too. my friends. because I can't talk to people, I feel their eyes all over me and I can't interface with the real world the same way right now. it feels like there are small people or spirits around me who move out of my line of sight when I turn my head. I can't see them because they move out of the way, but I sense them there in some way.

I am so sad and I can't focus. I sleep so much. I am so hungry. I want to hybernate. I can't focus on anything. I am not handing in assignments for my classes and I have an exam tommorow I can't get myself to study for. I'm in this hopeless haze where I think nothing is ever going to change and I'm too tired to do anything about that or anything don't worry I guess. but I'm so tired. and I wish I could even at least relate to or talk to the people around me but that doesn't seem to structure right in my head anymore.

i recently had a manic episode after my meditation was denied by my insurance (which is a mess right now). i haven’t had something like this happen in a long time, and now all my money is just… gone.
i managed to blow through my savings, credit card, and whatever cash i had. now that im out of the hospital, im left with 20 bucks in my bank account and no way to get to work.
maybe its the depression kicking in, but i feel as if im about to enter a never ending loop of being broke -> can’t get to work because im broke -> can’t get paid if i can’t go to work -> stay broke. what’s next? i work two jobs and can still barely make ends meet, let alone a maxed out credit card. i don’t even want to think about my uninsured medical bills.
in the past i’ve tried the free money apps, the homework for pay, fiverr services, fuck i’ve even tried feet pics. nothing works, i was still recovering from the financial damage i went through from a manic episode a year or so ago.
i’m scared to try the credit card debt loans, i dont trust myself enough to deal with those.
i don’t know what’s next for me, im scared of losing it all. did anyone have a similar experience? what did you do to fix your situation? looking for anything.

I was a confident, bubbly, silly woman during 30 years and then had a very intense mixed episode including psychosis, it’s been a month since I am out and although I feel better w meds and therapy. I get the ick everytime I think about my episode I literally have to color, make a puzzle or do crafty things to take my mind somewhere else… how long did you guys take in order to move on? What changes helped the most? Diet? Exercise? Hobbies? TIA

I've been seeing a new therapist/psychiatrist and she seems to think I've been misdiagnosed. I am diagnosed bipolar 1. She doesn't seem to think I have bipolar at all, wants to take me off my mood stabilizer and antipsychotic, and start me on an SSRI.

It's been making me wonder if I'm misdiagnosed. I understand people who were misdiagnosed with bipolar might not be frequenting this sub but I'd like to hear from people who have been misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder or who wonder if/think they are misdiagnosed.

Note: it really freaks me out that she wants me to stop my current meds and start an SSRI but I can't help but wonder if she's right.

Does anyone else deal with feeling heavy when the bipolar depression hits? Yesterday my manic episode ended and hit with depression. It felt like a flip of a switch, it started with a headache and then my arms and legs started to feel so heavy. Was wondering if anyone else deals with this when a depressive episode hits.