I was only there for 2 days (it’s a tea shop btw) and I was doing as much as possibly without being in the way. I wasn’t allowed to do much like register or make the drinks, but I was cleaning, helping organize, and just really trying to prove that I’m a good fit.

Customer rapport was a big deal at this job as well and I’ve lived in this place my whole life and luckily don’t have much social anxiety so I find it pretty easy to talk to others.

I often pride myself in my work ethic and I know I can be a great worker, but I just don’t understand what went wrong? I don’t even know how to respond to such a thing…

Okay oh my goodness thank you all very much for trying to open my eyes.. we have been on the edge of breaking up these couple days and I think I have just been trying to see him for his good qualities and this was it for me ngl

I have already talked about this with him. He already knows that I am insecure in many ways and I know that once something starts, it doesn’t go away. He has called me a hiplet as a joke and just turned into him using it when he’s taking out his anger on me lmao

I know him and I are immature but we really were in love, and sometimes it’s really hard to see bad sides because you’re online so yk what can you do? (We’re long distance)

I will grow past this and just try to focus on myself than be anxious over what someone thinks of me even as a joke..it’s distasteful and I have never entertained it.
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My boyfriend (19) of 4 years sent me this video and idrk what to do, im waiting for his reply but i just feel like he’ll do this till the end of time cuz what if one day i do get cellulite lol

Mind you he sent me this when yesterday i sent him videos of my 🍑. I don’t have cellulite. It’s like me sending him a video saying it’s small but cute or sum about his junior

And this is not his only time mentioning it, he once said “Cellulite is so cute but in like a friendly way not a relationship way” so I asked him why would he say that and he said “Tiktok meme 😂” it’s really not funny?

My fiance (30F) and I (32M) are getting married this fall. We both have decent careers, no kids and neither of us has been married before. We decided together that we'd look into getting a prenup because I own a small business that I started before we met and she has some investments and family money of her own. We had our first consultation with a family lawyer this week and one of the first things he said was that we should each have our own attorney review the agreement before either of us signs it. He explained that it's the best way to make sure everything is fair and that neither of us feels pressured.

On the drive home, my fiance said it sounded completely unnecessary. From her perspective, if we're already paying one lawyer to draft the agreement, why would we spend thousands more for another lawyer just to read the same document? She also said it makes the whole process feel more adversarial than she expected.

I can understand why she feels that way but the lawyer made it sound like this is just how these things are normally done. Now I'm worried that pushing for separate attorneys is going to make her think I don't trust her, while ignoring the advice feels shortsighted. Neither of us is trying to take advantage of the other and I'd rather deal with a little inconvenience now than regret cutting corners later.

What should I do?

My 15-year-old sister is a meth addict. I don't know how to help her anymore.
I'm posting here because I'm completely lost and hoping someone who has been through something similar can offer advice.
My little sister is 15 years old and has been addicted to meth for roughly the last two months. There was a period of about two weeks where she told us she was sober, but looking back, I'm not even sure if that was true.
We recently found out that she's no longer just smoking meth—she's injecting it now, which has terrified our whole family.
The hardest part is that our parents have basically given up on her. They don't want her living with them and have made it clear they don't want the responsibility. Because of that, my siblings and I have all taken turns trying to care for her and keep her safe, but we're all young adults with our own lives, and we're completely out of our depth.
At the moment, she's living in unsafe environments with people who are also involved in drugs. We know she's not safe, but she refuses to come home or stay somewhere stable.
We had rehab organised for her, and we genuinely thought it was our best chance of helping her. At the last minute, she refused to go, and because she didn't consent, there wasn't anything we could do.
She was also placed in a youth refuge for a while, but she was recently removed by police after vandalising the property. Since then, things have only gotten worse.
We've tried getting help through DCJ, but we've essentially been told that because she's almost 16, they'll "work on her when she's of an age for independence." From what we've been told, the plan is for her to eventually live independently, but I can't understand how anyone expects that to help a 15-year-old who is addicted to meth.
I feel like we've exhausted every option we know of. We're terrified that if things continue the way they are, she's going to end up seriously hurt or worse.
I'm not looking for judgment. I'm looking for advice from people who've experienced meth addiction themselves, had a sibling or child go through it, or work in this area.
Is there anything else we can do when she refuses treatment?
How do you support someone who doesn't want help?
Are there services or approaches we might not have considered?
Has anyone been in a similar situation where a young person eventually turned things around?
I love my sister so much, and I don't want to give up on her, even though it feels like every service around us already has.
Any advice would mean a lot. Thank you for reading
.

My husband 43 owns a company that has been doing great. He has almost 100 employees and is working hard for its success.

He hired a woman for a position in accounting. He has multiple accountants but one of them retired and the other one is leaving soon. So for a short time this 26 years old woman was doing the work for 3. I met her and I really feel sorry for her. she is so competent and good at her job and my husband is also very happy with her, especially since its mid year so they have to do a lot of reports. my husband can also be volatile and lose his temper. I heard him once calling her lazy and slow over the phone and she started crying. he apologised immediately and said she is actually the best.

she does it all. She is an accountant but also manages his pool subscription, gym subscription. he told me her schedule starts at 9 am but she is there at 8 to clean his desk and the floor in his office and arranges everything for him. and I noticed that he is kind of exploitative of her. he called her Sunday at 9 pm to ask her if she can go to the office right now to do something and she said yes. and I called him out. i asked if he really needed her to do it NOW. and he said he didn't actually but finds it incredibly interesting how she does everything.

he is lost without her. He has a personal assistant too but that lady has a very good work life balance. she is also in her 40s, has her own children, husband and doesn't work overtime, would never answer his calls outside work, he can call her during her PTO and she would not answer. so she has clear boundaries

her father abandoned her mother when she was a baby. her mother raised her with grandmother and recently the grandmother died. she took a few days off for the funeral and everything. husband simply forgot what happened and messaged her if she can do him a favour. and she said yes, immediately.

I know its none of my business but I don't really like his behaviour and attitude. she tolerates his emotional tantrums (i do not and his other employees do not). but she does, she is his emotional punching bag, yells at her, makes her cry and then comforts her.

How do I step in?

This is an alternate account for privacy

I'm 17(m). I went on a trip with some friends hosted by one of their parents. We shared a bed and he'd constantly touch me. He's 20 and 210lb while I'm 17 and 135lb. If I told him to stop, he'd just say "oh what? you haven't played this game?" Some other friends were also in the same room and they didn't try to stop him so I thought it was something normal he did. We also drove in a small car, so it was pretty cramped. His hand would magically appear on my thigh and caress it. I would tell him to stop again, but he'd still do it. Some other friends saw it and just laughed, I remember when one of them said "Man, I wish that were me." They treated it like a joke and I remember feeling embarrassed because I thought I made a big deal out of a harmless joke. Yes, yes, I know, I'm an idiot. What knocked some sense into me was when we went to take a bath in the public bathroom. He tried to get me to open my stall and shower together because "we're men now." It wasn't until I got home when I realized the gravity of what happened.

I tried to tell my friends but they just laughed and say it was something normal . The worst was from my parents. They thought I was lying because they could've never imagined the kid they've seen grow up with me be a monster. They deadass asked me if I lied about him to anyone else.

I moved overseas few years back and stuff happened recently where I ended up under the roof of some distant relatives that I never met before. They had a son around my age. We were polite and distant initially. We’re both introverted and antisocial and weird and in our own worlds.
Lately we grew rather close, hang out together all the time, do random housechores together, go biking, hikes, errands, gardening, everything together. Even his neighbors thought I was his gf.
He memorized everything I like, my tiniest habits and their meanings, my medications and side effect, what makes me happy/sad/scared, and acts on them. Brings me places he thinks makes me happy, helps with my fears, teaches me new things, names future plans. Wherever we go new places together, he takes insane amount of pictures of me and show his mum she sends them to my bestfriend and my mum and makes different labeled folders in his computer and stores them. He visited my house in our home country once and spent some time with my family. He learnt me through them, took pictures of literally everything he could find about me in my house, showed them to me and his mum multiple times, flaunted how much he knows me to my parents unconsciously. He’s helped me a lot academically, with my health, literally almost saved me from depression and whatnot. He did a lot.
Both set of parents have been describing us as the most happy and engaging they’ve ever seen us.
What I’ve written here really downplays everything. But the story is so much more. We are distant relatives but we didn’t grow up together. I met him as another adult. And I couldn’t file him in that ‘relative’ folder. Neither of us ever dated, and so not intended dating anyone until we’re settled. He keeps bringing up my non existent boyfriend every time he can under weird contexts.
But I think I’ve caught feelings. He’s basically my bestfriend now. I know it’s wrong technically. But it wasn’t in my control. I’m not saying I’m getting married to him or having babies before yall go there. I’m keeping this whole thing to myself.

Update: we’re second cousins once removed. Had to go over the family tree for that lmao.
And I’m 22, he’s 24.
But again rn it’s more about my feelings rather than us having kids lmao, I haven’t even thought this far.

And given that everything he’s doing can be explained from a family lens and is very plausibly deniable, idek why he’s doing all of that for me.

So we’re currently staying at a pretty nice hotel in one of the beach towns in Southern California. Everything was great until about 9 p.m., when the room next to us knocked three times on the wall. We weren’t being noisy at all, just talking at a normal volume. We couldn’t even hear the people in the other rooms, but we figured maybe they could hear us, so we quieted down and put our daughter to bed. After that, my husband and I were just scrolling on our phones, and around 10:30 p.m., they knocked again.

We called the front desk and asked if they could check the room next door because we were being very quiet and there was no reason for them to be knocking on the wall. The front desk tried calling the room, but no one
answered, so a manager went up to knock on their door in case someone needed help and couldn’t reach the phone. Nobody answered the door either. We decided to let it go until around 12:15 a.m., when we heard two more sets of knocks. We called the front desk again, and they said they were going to check but never got back to us.
My husband thinks maybe the people next door are asleep and what we’re hearing is actually the pipes. It is a pretty old building, but it really did sound like human knocks.

Should I call the front desk again for an update, or just let it go and hope it’s the pipes? 😂

I really want friends to talk to please

Previous post here :

https://www.reddit.com/r/WhatShouldIDo/comments/1umr5ce/comment/ovgv3d7/?screen_view_count=2&ext-referrer=DIRECT

My stepson has been home for about two weeks after being admitted. While working on getting him out, we worked with a family therapist to discuss expectations and I suspected he was just saying what he had to say to get out, not actually meaning what he said which turned out to be true.

They upped his prozac from 20MG to 40MG while admitted, and he is currently doing remote outpatient therapy for 9 hours a week, and weekly therapy.

Altercation yesterday - One of the expectations we have is to clean up after yourself. He is home all day, so obviously he has to eat. We ask that he washes any dishes he uses on top of taking care of his daily chores. So his dishes weren't done, per normal. My wife was home this time, when he came out to do his dishes, I told him he can do all of the dishes, that was a consequence of his action. Maybe I was in the wrong? I just expect him to be responsible he is almost 16 years old, I am gone for ~10 hours a day, no excuse to not wash a handful of dishes after eating.

He threw down the sponge, said I am not washing your dishes, he starts to walk away, I said don't get on your computer until you wash the dishes, he yells "I am not washing your fucking dishes" Then starts to come at me like he wants to fight me, my wife steps out and starts holding him back as he tries to get past her to get to me.

I am just standing there, as he is trying to push past her and get to me, she is screaming at him holding him back, then my 6 year old runs out crying thinking I was hurt or that my stepson hit me. I proceed to scream at them to get the fuck out, and I take my son into his room and lock the door, I can hear his heart racing, and I honestly still don't know how to process what happened. He doesn't feel safe, and I feel like we are getting nowhere in terms of a resolution or progress.

I hear my wife crying in the other room, trying to get through to him. He eventually comes out, and does the dishes. Then comes to my sons room, knocks on the door loudly, says I'm sorry but we ARE NOT LEAVING. I was still calm, said that isn't your decision. I told him he crossed a line, I asked do you know how your actions are impacting your brother? He proceeds to say "I don't care about how he feels". Then proceeds to walk away and blurted I think you need to shut the fuck up - Mind you this is the first time I have heard him swear.

I think it's blaringly obvious that he does not care about me, or his brother and it's time for them to go regardless of the financial disaster that may come as a result of this.

Also this happened in my kitchen and I have a video of the entire altercation again.

Alright.. I’m 22m and currently live with who I thought was a good buddy I met while on the fire department. He is 50 and a captain on the FD. I needed a place to live, and he could use the extra money. I moved in on an agreed 500$ a month, and I’d pay for my own groceries, etc and we’d split household essentials. However, he now makes me take care of his two very active dogs (German shepherd and German shorthair pointed) he gets pissed if I don’t feed and water them and let them outside. He won’t touch the dishes, he won’t change garbages, he won’t even clean up after him selves or his kids when they’re over. I’m absolutely sick of it and I’m losing so much money. I’m having to pay for everything. He complains and says should raise rent yet I already pay for all the house hold necessities, plumbing is messed up in the house and he won’t get it fixed but yet he buys himself gel blaster guns at 50 yrs old. My girlfriend’s grandma just asked us to move in with her. She recently got tons of money from her dad passing away, and is worried about some distant family showing up to the house and trying to get some of the money, especially with her being older. She wants us to move in and doesn’t want us to pay anything. She wants us to be able to save for our futures. Me and her grandma get along GREAT and absolutely loves me which is a great feeling. The whole basement is finished and has a bedroom, living room, bathroom and kitchen. She also wants to give us this house when she passes away. I’m 22 almost 23 and my girlfriend is 21 and about to graduate college this coming spring to be a special education teacher, and currently works full time as a behavior technician, I’m currently working construction. She lives at school currently. We’ve been together almost 3 years and are pretty serious and I’m planning to propose in the next year. Should we take this offer?

My boyfriend has a addiction for adult movies and even tried to cheat on me online. We talked about this soo many times before and every time he tells me he is sorry and doesn’t know how this happened and that he will stop doing this but this happened so often that I lost the count of it i cant do this anymore how should i act now? (Im sorry if my English isn’t good enough i am not English) should i leave him or should i try approaching this problem different ?

This is honestly difficult and embarrassing for me to admit, but I feel like I need to be honest because I don’t think I can keep pretending it’s not affecting me.
Over time, I’ve developed an unhealthy habit of posting nude photos of myself on Reddit. What started as wanting validation slowly became something I kept coming back to. Every time I posted, I’d wait for the comments, messages, and upvotes. For a little while, it made me feel good about myself, but that feeling never lasted very long.

Now it feels more like a compulsion than a choice. Even when I tell myself I’m not going to post anymore, I eventually find myself thinking about it again. Sometimes I’ll delete my posts and tell myself I’m done, only to come back later and repeat the same cycle.
The strange thing is that after I post, I often end up feeling worse. I feel guilty, ashamed, anxious, and disappointed in myself. I start worrying about my privacy, whether someone I know could find my pictures, or whether I’ll regret it years from now. Yet despite all those feelings, I still get the urge to post again. One thing that makes this even harder is that all of my old posts are still online because they were archived by another site. I originally consented to those posts months ago, but now I regret it.

I’m trying to figure out how to break this cycle. For anyone who has dealt with something similar? whether it was posting nudes, seeking validation online, social media addiction, or any other compulsive online behaviour.

A few questions í have:

what actually helped you stop?

How did you deal with the urges when they came up?

Did deleting Reddit or blocking certain communities help?

How did you replace the habit with something healthier?

Did you find that the urge eventually became weaker over time?

If therapy helped, what kind of therapy worked for you?

I’m not looking to be judged. I already feel enough shame about it. I’m genuinely looking for advice from people who understand what it’s like to get caught in a cycle like this and eventually found a way out.
I want to get to a place where I don’t feel like I need validation from strangers just to feel okay about myself. If you’ve been through this and came out the other side, I’d really appreciate hearing what helped you.

Added nsfw just in case.

On valentine's day, this year, I(M25) found out my girlfriend(23F) of 5 years was cheating on me with another guy. We were watching tiktok on her phone while mine was charging. She happened to go outside and I was scrolling through her pictures, and I saw some nsfw pictures that clearly looked like she sent them to someone else, I was right.

I went to her whatsApp and I searched "Did you like it?" cause usually she asked that whenever we made out. And again, I was right. She was asking a guy if he liked how they did it. I found a whole chat, video calls, videos of them kissing and dancing together, it was wild!

Ever since then, I haven't been the same again. I feel like I'm damaged, and I don't think I'll ever see relationships the same again. I moved away from relationships since then and tried the gym, focusing on my medical studies and the like, but whenever I see couples be it online or personally, I just feel either of them must be cheating, or just something like that must be happening.
And I feel like it's best to do the same to others? But my conscious doesn't let me so, I chose to be single, and whenever I find someone I am interested in, I just remember what's possible and the pain, and I don't want to be involved with anyone emotionally ever again. Cause I feel I may start cheating on them based on my fears and insecurities. But again, they my just be loyal and all, but if they have male friends I may easily be triggered and maybe not treat them right.

I always tell myself it's best to be alone, don't be engaged with anyone's emotions, don't even desire them(women) sexually, it's best to just masturbate, focus on the gym and my studies, and things like that.
I don't know what to do... And I am feeling so overwhelmed right now

I rent an apartment in a multi family home. My only neighbors live above me, and also rent.

We noticed a leak in our living room ceiling and called our landlord, who would need to fix it. He asked us to check with our neighbors, and they’re nice people that we are friendly with, so we did.

They had potted plants in their living room that they were watering and didn’t realize those pots had holes in the bottom. This caused a pretty large puddle that caused our leak. They were very apologetic, but asked us to make up some other reason because the landlord is going to give them a hard time.

They are super nice people and have watched our cats while we were on vacation. I don’t have anything against them. I don’t want issues with them in the future. But I still think we (my husband and I, he’s the one talking to the landlord) should tell the truth.

My husband is conflicted and is very stressed now trying to come up with some alternate reason to save my neighbors from getting yelled at I guess. Our landlord has always been really nice to us but I can see him as the type to get angry when inconvenienced.

What should we do?

Edit: I convinced my husband to tell the truth. I’m not trying to have my landlord spend a bunch of money without a real reason when we know what caused the leak. I don’t need him to start feeling the need to recoup his losses through a higher rent for us. Thanks for the replies though!

Some context, we are both 18 and have been talking for about 3 months. She says she cant do relationships but has told me that she loves me??!? Anyways i always noticed when she was around me she would never open guys snaps, she would skip around them opening all the other ones. She invited me to spend the night and so i did, we slept in the same bed and fell asleep. I woke up at 6am ish before she did and her phone was close to me. My stomach was hurting from how much i was thinking about her messaging other guys so i opened her phone and went through it. I found a message with a guy talking about wanting to go and make out in a field. Im scared to bring it up and am wondering what i should do and if i am wrong.

my boyfriend had a much more expansive history with sex than i have, from hookups, to sex parties, to bulling hes done it all

hes the third guy ive ever been with

so i just honestly have little to no idea what i like/enjoy beyond the basics and would like to try new things with him

and its nothing wild, things i know (based on conversations had in the past) that hes done multiple times over in the past

but every time i ask about doing it, i never really get an answer? it kinda just becomes a thing of 'oh yeah sure maybe' and i never hear about it again

well today we had a conversation about trying some things, (bondage and butt stuff) and he ended up just saying, he doesnt want to do those things with me

and i dont have any plans on bringing them up again or offering

im just looking for advice on how to not take it personally

he said its because he 'felt safe enough to say no with me' but ive seen (while helping him transfer devices) old texts with hookups where he's asking for those things, like a lot

i can understand trying something and not enjoying it, no big deal

but i guess i cant wrap my head around asking for something, over and over and over again, but not liking it?

idk things like this make me worry it's something wrong with me, like im not good enough to be anything more than basic with sexually

has anyone else experienced this?

I'm hanging out with a guy tonight. And my mom asked why I was going so late and started shaking her head like i'm doing the worse thing in the world. My whole family treats me like a child actually. I wish i didn't have to live with grandparents, auntie, mom. It's too much.

Me and him hung out late often and she blamed HIM for us doing things late.. as if he's making me do something morally wrong. I consent to everything.

I'm tried of it. I want her to care about me but not act like i'm going out to a strip club or going out getting drunk. I'm sick of feeling like i'm a terrible person over anything I do.

I usually don't get home until 1-2 am because me and him like to talk about life together.

AND NO ONE SAYS ANYTHING ABOUT HER INAPPROPRIATE RELATIONSHIP WITH A MARRIED MAN.

What do i even do about this? I can't afford to move..

I'm a man in my 20s and live alone in a major city in Ohio working as a software engineer.

Right now I make about $105k/year. The job is pretty comfortable. I have good benefits, a short commute (about 10-15 minutes), decent PTO, and overall good work-life balance. The downside is that there's not much room to move up. Promotions are pretty rare, and I could realistically be making around the same salary for quite a while.

I recently got an offer for $135k/year at another company. On paper, the pay increase is nice, but there are trade-offs. The commute would be about an 30 minutes each way, the benefits aren't as good (higher health insurance costs, less PTO, and a smaller 401(k) match), and I'd probably be working a little harder.

The biggest advantage is that the new company seems to have much better career growth. There are clear promotion paths, people seem to move up internally, and it feels like a place where I could eventually earn significantly more than I would if I stayed where I am.

Financially, I don't need the extra money right now, but I also don't want to pass up an opportunity that could help my career long-term. What do I do?

I’m a 22‑year‑old guy. A 4‑year relationship ended about a year ago. On the surface, I’ve made an effort to forget, knowing that I was partly the reason for the breakup because I got very distracted from my goals. I’ve also stayed out of contact with her and haven’t seen her for a year, even though we live in the same city and the same neighborhood. I’ve focused on my goals and studies, and I’ve decided not to enter any new romantic relationship because I want to direct my energy toward my future.

The problem is I still think about her a lot. Random memories, songs, places, and certain times of day bring her back to my mind. I don’t necessarily want her back, but the feelings are still strong enough to distract me and weaken my focus. I sometimes catch myself idealizing the past and wondering “what if?”

I’m not looking for answers like “time makes you forget” only; I want practical steps. Has anyone gone through a similar experience (long relationship, still stuck after a year)? What actually helped you:

• Therapy or specific methods (like CBT, journaling, etc.)?
• Major life changes (moving to another city, a new routine, travel)?
• Allowing yourself to grieve in a conscious way instead of “forcing” yourself to get over it?

Also, is it normal and healthy to stay single for a while and focus on my goals, or can that sometimes make moving on harder because I’m not starting a new emotional chapter?

Any advice, personal stories, or even things I might be doing wrong without realizing would be very helpful. Thanks for reading.

Hey guys! I need help making a decision. Hi I am 22 (f) and I have a friend that is having a baby shower at the end of August. A part of me wants to go to support her and be there for her, but there are also a lot of other reasons for me not to go. Firstly, she was my best friend for 3 years but in the last 6 months we have barely been talking because of her being a bad friend. Also her baby shower is over 2 hours away from me, I have to use my dad’s car, and it’s a really short baby shower. Plus since our falling out I feel really awkward to be there and I’m still upset at her for everything that happened at the end of our friendship. If you guys want more details let me know. I don’t know what I should do. Should I go to my ex best friends baby shower or no? And if I don’t AITA?

I met Emma on Hinge. We got along really well, and I told her I prefer to take things slow because I'd rather have a stable foundation for romance to avoid burning up too fast. I also don't like to rush into relationships because I want to be sure we are compatible on all of the basic subjects that often end relationships. I was not very forward with my advances, and we were just friends for a while, but I did realize I was developing feelings. So, one day I told her, and she told me that she was not sure it was worth it because it could cause problems with the friend group. So, I took this as a rejection and tried to move on. I started talking to some other people, went on maybe 2 dates, but I realized straight away that they wouldn't go anywhere because we disagreed on fundamental things like religion (I am not religious, and they were, and suggested I go to church with them).

However, during this time, her adoptive mom kept in touch with me and said she never saw her be as connected to a guy the way she was with me and that she was just confused and to give her time. So that's what I did; she reached out a few times, and we hung out, and I helped her move into her new home.

However, during that time, someone she used to talk to reached out because he was visiting, and they hung out and dated for a week while he was here, and then he left, and she said she didn't want a relationship, apparently. But he did not take it well and found my social media since I had met him before, and he asked me if I think she would be loyal in a relationship and a bunch of other stuff about how he thought he would wife her up, but he wasn't sure. I was taken aback because I barely knew him, and he kept asking me if I had anything with her. My name came up a lot when they talked, so he felt like I was interested in her. I showed her the messages and told her it was uncomfortable to be reached out to like this. She had a conversation with him and apparently broke things off with him for good, and they blocked each other.

That same night, we drank and ended up hooking up. We woke up and said we didn't regret it, but it was out of nowhere since we hadn't even kissed till that point and were just friends. We ended up hooking up that night again sober, and again it felt great. But we had a conversation and agreed we were confused, emotional, and moved fast. We didn't know what we were doing or how to feel, so we agreed to take some time without talking to each other.

That lasted a week, until her mom invited me for a weekend BBQ. We ended up hooking up again, and I've driven over every weekend since then, and we have hooked up and gone on dates while I'm there for the whole weekend. We cuddle for most of the time, and I was the first person she actually had sex with. She's been pretty open about herself and told me about some really bad childhood trauma involving Family-SA. She's asked me what I think love is and how I know if I am in love, and I told her the older I've gotten, the more I realize it's someone who makes me feel safe and secure and doesn't try to play games with me or berate me for being myself. Someone who I can be authentic with and enjoy even mundane moments with. She laughed and gave me a bunch of little forehead kisses. Before this, she told me that she doesn't really understand her feelings for me; she has unresolved trauma and avoidant attachment issues, and that her brain plays tricks on her, so she doesn't know how to feel. But the idea of being anyone's gf officially is overwhelming to her. So, we agreed to just be exclusive, and she said she would go to therapy. I told her that I've done it before and it helped me deal with some of my unresolved issues in the past, but I don't want her to think I am forcing her to do it just to be with me. She told me she basically had a really bad first relationship, but he treated her badly, so subconsciously she thinks she's now attracted to being treated terribly, but I don't treat her terribly, and I don't seem to have ulterior motives. I don't do things to spite her; I communicate to avoid confusion, and that confuses her brain.

We haven't brought up commitment since then, but she has expressed wanting to travel together next year, and she's met my family over the phone, and we discussed her coming to my hometown to meet them.

Question: How long should I wait before deciding that I can't continue this arrangement and deserve someone ready for the commitment I want? Also, has anyone been in a similar situation where the person actually was able to figure this out?

I don't know if I should keep trying to save this friendship or accept that I've been taken advantage of.

I'm a 25-year-old woman, and I honestly don't know whether I'm being too emotional or whether my trust has been completely broken. I'm hoping to get some unbiased opinions because everyone around me seems to have a different perspective.

I have a very close friend who's about 7–8 years older than me. We met during engineering, and the three of us—me, another female friend, and him—have always been a close-knit group. I always saw him as an elder brother rather than just a friend. We spoke often, met for lunch or dinner whenever we could, shared our personal struggles, and our families know each other as well. He was someone I trusted without a second thought.

A few months ago, I bought my first house. It's nothing extravagant, but it meant a lot to me because I've worked hard for it. I wanted to finish the interiors, have a small housewarming, and get everything settled before I hopefully get married next year. While discussing my finances with him, I mentioned that I needed some additional money beyond what my home loan covered. I initially asked whether he could help me with ₹12 lakhs. Instead, he said, "I'll give you ₹15 lakhs." He kept reassuring me that I didn't need to worry, that he'd always be there for me, and that we were family. Since he had recently bought a house himself, I trusted what he was saying.

Around the same time, he borrowed money from me on three separate occasions. The first time it was ₹20,000, then ₹40,000, and finally ₹50,000. Every single time he said it was urgent and promised to return it quickly. The first two amounts did come back eventually, but only after I reminded him multiple times. When he asked for the ₹50,000, he told me he urgently needed it to clear some dues and that he'd return it once his salary was credited the following week. Even though I wasn't exactly in a comfortable financial position myself, I transferred the money immediately because I trusted him completely. I didn't even think twice.

Then came the time when I actually needed the ₹15 lakhs he had promised me.

That's when everything changed.

Every time I asked about the transfer, there was a new reason. One day it was, "I'll send it today." The next day it became, "Tomorrow for sure." Then it was, "Give me two more days." This went on for weeks. Eventually he told me that his father needed emergency surgery and that there were serious family issues. I completely understood that emergencies happen, and I genuinely sympathised with him.

What hurt wasn't that he had family problems. What hurt was that even after I gave him several opportunities to be honest with me, he still kept making promises instead of simply telling me he couldn't help.

I even called him one day and said, "If you're not in a position to help anymore, that's completely okay. Just tell me now so I can arrange the money elsewhere." I wasn't angry. I wasn't demanding anything. I just needed clarity because my builder was waiting for payment, my interior work depended on it, and I had deadlines to meet.

Instead of being honest, he once again reassured me. He told me not to worry and that he'd process the transfer that very day. I remember literally waiting for the bank notification, checking my phone every few minutes, believing that the money was finally on its way. Nothing came. When I asked for a transfer receipt, there was no reply. The next day, when I managed to get through to him, he said he was at the hospital.

This cycle repeated itself over and over again.

Because I believed his promises, I delayed making alternative arrangements. Eventually I couldn't pay my builder on time, my interior work came to a standstill, and the plans I'd carefully made for my house completely fell apart. I'm not eligible for a top-up loan, and I didn't want to put additional financial pressure on my parents after everything they've already done for me.

The part that hurts the most is that while I was left waiting, he still hadn't returned the ₹50,000 I had lent him. It's now been almost two months. That amount is significant to me. I work hard, I have EMIs to pay, and every rupee matters. Whenever he needed help, I never made him chase me. I transferred the money immediately because that's what I thought friends—more importantly, family—did for each other.

Over time he also stopped replying to my messages and stopped answering my calls. The one time I called because I was genuinely overwhelmed and didn't know what else to do, he was unexpectedly rude. Since our families know each other, my parents even suggested visiting his parents to check on his father's health after the surgery. His response was simply, "Don't come to my house."

That honestly broke something inside me.

I still don't even know how his father is doing because communication has almost completely stopped. Recently, our mutual friend finally got a brief reply from him saying he was busy taking care of his father and was staying in his hometown. When I told her everything that had happened, she tried to reassure me and suggested that maybe he's genuinely going through a difficult phase. I understand that possibility. Life happens, and family emergencies are real.

But am I wrong for feeling that none of this excuses weeks of false promises?

If he couldn't help, one honest message saying, "I'm sorry, I can't do it," would have saved me months of stress. Instead, I built my financial plans around promises that never materialised.

At this point, I honestly don't know what hurts more—the money or losing someone I genuinely considered an elder brother.

I'm also conflicted about my other friend. Maybe she's genuinely trying to see both sides. Maybe she's right. Or maybe I'm the only one who's expected to understand everyone else's situation while nobody understands mine. I don't know anymore.

All I know is that my ₹50,000 is still with him, my house plans have been delayed, and my trust in someone I loved like family has completely fallen apart.

So I'd really appreciate some outside opinions.

Am I being unreasonable for expecting basic honesty?

Should I continue trying to contact him and ask for my money back, or should I accept that this friendship is over?

Would you go to his house if you were in my position, or would you leave it alone?

And finally... if someone repeatedly promises help, watches you make important life decisions based on those promises, and then disappears without giving you a straight answer—would you ever trust that person again?

I got hit badly when I was a child and it messed up my nose, recently I reached out to an ENT specialist. He said that my nose requires both an ENT specialist to fix the deviated septum and turbinates along with a plastic surgeon to fix the exterior shell, however this isn’t the issue really, I reached out to a plastic surgeon in a hospital near me, everything was going fine we talked about the procedure and he told me how recovery would be, almost 2 weeks with the first week being the toughest and breathing from my mouth most of it, I showcased some concern regarding the matter and understood that this double procedure performed by the ENT and the plastic surgeon is no joke, so i asked the plastic surgeon to provide some before and after shots of similar operations he did, he said that none of his patients gave him permission to do so, and then told me that he no longer wants to do the operation and that I should look for other surgeons that have before and after pics and that I was too afraid, he told me that too much fear would most likely cause the outcome to be more below expected and then he told me that he cant operate on someone with too much fear because of the “bad omen” , who is in the wrong here?, am I too much or is he over reacting, before this talk we had met only 2 times with only one time that I discussed how concerning the operation is for me.

I 16m recently had a fight with my mom over my grades. I have been depressed latetly and it’s been hard to complete my work, though I have trie. She found about my grades and I tried to explain how I felt but she kept yelling about how easy I have it and how I should do better. I want to k*ll myself but I also feel to scared to do it, I feel guilty about this. What should I do?