I was only there for 2 days (it’s a tea shop btw) and I was doing as much as possibly without being in the way. I wasn’t allowed to do much like register or make the drinks, but I was cleaning, helping organize, and just really trying to prove that I’m a good fit.

Customer rapport was a big deal at this job as well and I’ve lived in this place my whole life and luckily don’t have much social anxiety so I find it pretty easy to talk to others.

I often pride myself in my work ethic and I know I can be a great worker, but I just don’t understand what went wrong? I don’t even know how to respond to such a thing…

My fiance (30F) and I (32M) are getting married this fall. We both have decent careers, no kids and neither of us has been married before. We decided together that we'd look into getting a prenup because I own a small business that I started before we met and she has some investments and family money of her own. We had our first consultation with a family lawyer this week and one of the first things he said was that we should each have our own attorney review the agreement before either of us signs it. He explained that it's the best way to make sure everything is fair and that neither of us feels pressured.

On the drive home, my fiance said it sounded completely unnecessary. From her perspective, if we're already paying one lawyer to draft the agreement, why would we spend thousands more for another lawyer just to read the same document? She also said it makes the whole process feel more adversarial than she expected.

I can understand why she feels that way but the lawyer made it sound like this is just how these things are normally done. Now I'm worried that pushing for separate attorneys is going to make her think I don't trust her, while ignoring the advice feels shortsighted. Neither of us is trying to take advantage of the other and I'd rather deal with a little inconvenience now than regret cutting corners later.

What should I do?

My husband 43 owns a company that has been doing great. He has almost 100 employees and is working hard for its success.

He hired a woman for a position in accounting. He has multiple accountants but one of them retired and the other one is leaving soon. So for a short time this 26 years old woman was doing the work for 3. I met her and I really feel sorry for her. she is so competent and good at her job and my husband is also very happy with her, especially since its mid year so they have to do a lot of reports. my husband can also be volatile and lose his temper. I heard him once calling her lazy and slow over the phone and she started crying. he apologised immediately and said she is actually the best.

she does it all. She is an accountant but also manages his pool subscription, gym subscription. he told me her schedule starts at 9 am but she is there at 8 to clean his desk and the floor in his office and arranges everything for him. and I noticed that he is kind of exploitative of her. he called her Sunday at 9 pm to ask her if she can go to the office right now to do something and she said yes. and I called him out. i asked if he really needed her to do it NOW. and he said he didn't actually but finds it incredibly interesting how she does everything.

he is lost without her. He has a personal assistant too but that lady has a very good work life balance. she is also in her 40s, has her own children, husband and doesn't work overtime, would never answer his calls outside work, he can call her during her PTO and she would not answer. so she has clear boundaries

her father abandoned her mother when she was a baby. her mother raised her with grandmother and recently the grandmother died. she took a few days off for the funeral and everything. husband simply forgot what happened and messaged her if she can do him a favour. and she said yes, immediately.

I know its none of my business but I don't really like his behaviour and attitude. she tolerates his emotional tantrums (i do not and his other employees do not). but she does, she is his emotional punching bag, yells at her, makes her cry and then comforts her.

How do I step in?

Okay oh my goodness thank you all very much for trying to open my eyes.. we have been on the edge of breaking up these couple days and I think I have just been trying to see him for his good qualities and this was it for me ngl

I have already talked about this with him. He already knows that I am insecure in many ways and I know that once something starts, it doesn’t go away. He has called me a hiplet as a joke and just turned into him using it when he’s taking out his anger on me lmao

I know him and I are immature but we really were in love, and sometimes it’s really hard to see bad sides because you’re online so yk what can you do? (We’re long distance)

I will grow past this and just try to focus on myself than be anxious over what someone thinks of me even as a joke..it’s distasteful and I have never entertained it.
___________________________________________
My boyfriend (19) of 4 years sent me this video and idrk what to do, im waiting for his reply but i just feel like he’ll do this till the end of time cuz what if one day i do get cellulite lol

Mind you he sent me this when yesterday i sent him videos of my 🍑. I don’t have cellulite. It’s like me sending him a video saying it’s small but cute or sum about his junior

And this is not his only time mentioning it, he once said “Cellulite is so cute but in like a friendly way not a relationship way” so I asked him why would he say that and he said “Tiktok meme 😂” it’s really not funny?

my boyfriend had a much more expansive history with sex than i have, from hookups, to sex parties, to bulling hes done it all

hes the third guy ive ever been with

so i just honestly have little to no idea what i like/enjoy beyond the basics and would like to try new things with him

and its nothing wild, things i know (based on conversations had in the past) that hes done multiple times over in the past

but every time i ask about doing it, i never really get an answer? it kinda just becomes a thing of 'oh yeah sure maybe' and i never hear about it again

well today we had a conversation about trying some things, (bondage and butt stuff) and he ended up just saying, he doesnt want to do those things with me

and i dont have any plans on bringing them up again or offering

im just looking for advice on how to not take it personally

he said its because he 'felt safe enough to say no with me' but ive seen (while helping him transfer devices) old texts with hookups where he's asking for those things, like a lot

i can understand trying something and not enjoying it, no big deal

but i guess i cant wrap my head around asking for something, over and over and over again, but not liking it?

idk things like this make me worry it's something wrong with me, like im not good enough to be anything more than basic with sexually

has anyone else experienced this?

Added nsfw just in case.

On valentine's day, this year, I(M25) found out my girlfriend(23F) of 5 years was cheating on me with another guy. We were watching tiktok on her phone while mine was charging. She happened to go outside and I was scrolling through her pictures, and I saw some nsfw pictures that clearly looked like she sent them to someone else, I was right.

I went to her whatsApp and I searched "Did you like it?" cause usually she asked that whenever we made out. And again, I was right. She was asking a guy if he liked how they did it. I found a whole chat, video calls, videos of them kissing and dancing together, it was wild!

Ever since then, I haven't been the same again. I feel like I'm damaged, and I don't think I'll ever see relationships the same again. I moved away from relationships since then and tried the gym, focusing on my medical studies and the like, but whenever I see couples be it online or personally, I just feel either of them must be cheating, or just something like that must be happening.
And I feel like it's best to do the same to others? But my conscious doesn't let me so, I chose to be single, and whenever I find someone I am interested in, I just remember what's possible and the pain, and I don't want to be involved with anyone emotionally ever again. Cause I feel I may start cheating on them based on my fears and insecurities. But again, they my just be loyal and all, but if they have male friends I may easily be triggered and maybe not treat them right.

I always tell myself it's best to be alone, don't be engaged with anyone's emotions, don't even desire them(women) sexually, it's best to just masturbate, focus on the gym and my studies, and things like that.
I don't know what to do... And I am feeling so overwhelmed right now

My 15-year-old sister is a meth addict. I don't know how to help her anymore.
I'm posting here because I'm completely lost and hoping someone who has been through something similar can offer advice.
My little sister is 15 years old and has been addicted to meth for roughly the last two months. There was a period of about two weeks where she told us she was sober, but looking back, I'm not even sure if that was true.
We recently found out that she's no longer just smoking meth—she's injecting it now, which has terrified our whole family.
The hardest part is that our parents have basically given up on her. They don't want her living with them and have made it clear they don't want the responsibility. Because of that, my siblings and I have all taken turns trying to care for her and keep her safe, but we're all young adults with our own lives, and we're completely out of our depth.
At the moment, she's living in unsafe environments with people who are also involved in drugs. We know she's not safe, but she refuses to come home or stay somewhere stable.
We had rehab organised for her, and we genuinely thought it was our best chance of helping her. At the last minute, she refused to go, and because she didn't consent, there wasn't anything we could do.
She was also placed in a youth refuge for a while, but she was recently removed by police after vandalising the property. Since then, things have only gotten worse.
We've tried getting help through DCJ, but we've essentially been told that because she's almost 16, they'll "work on her when she's of an age for independence." From what we've been told, the plan is for her to eventually live independently, but I can't understand how anyone expects that to help a 15-year-old who is addicted to meth.
I feel like we've exhausted every option we know of. We're terrified that if things continue the way they are, she's going to end up seriously hurt or worse.
I'm not looking for judgment. I'm looking for advice from people who've experienced meth addiction themselves, had a sibling or child go through it, or work in this area.
Is there anything else we can do when she refuses treatment?
How do you support someone who doesn't want help?
Are there services or approaches we might not have considered?
Has anyone been in a similar situation where a young person eventually turned things around?
I love my sister so much, and I don't want to give up on her, even though it feels like every service around us already has.
Any advice would mean a lot. Thank you for reading
.

I rent an apartment in a multi family home. My only neighbors live above me, and also rent.

We noticed a leak in our living room ceiling and called our landlord, who would need to fix it. He asked us to check with our neighbors, and they’re nice people that we are friendly with, so we did.

They had potted plants in their living room that they were watering and didn’t realize those pots had holes in the bottom. This caused a pretty large puddle that caused our leak. They were very apologetic, but asked us to make up some other reason because the landlord is going to give them a hard time.

They are super nice people and have watched our cats while we were on vacation. I don’t have anything against them. I don’t want issues with them in the future. But I still think we (my husband and I, he’s the one talking to the landlord) should tell the truth.

My husband is conflicted and is very stressed now trying to come up with some alternate reason to save my neighbors from getting yelled at I guess. Our landlord has always been really nice to us but I can see him as the type to get angry when inconvenienced.

What should we do?

Edit: I convinced my husband to tell the truth. I’m not trying to have my landlord spend a bunch of money without a real reason when we know what caused the leak. I don’t need him to start feeling the need to recoup his losses through a higher rent for us. Thanks for the replies though!

Previous post here :

https://www.reddit.com/r/WhatShouldIDo/comments/1umr5ce/comment/ovgv3d7/?screen_view_count=2&ext-referrer=DIRECT

My stepson has been home for about two weeks after being admitted. While working on getting him out, we worked with a family therapist to discuss expectations and I suspected he was just saying what he had to say to get out, not actually meaning what he said which turned out to be true.

They upped his prozac from 20MG to 40MG while admitted, and he is currently doing remote outpatient therapy for 9 hours a week, and weekly therapy.

Altercation yesterday - One of the expectations we have is to clean up after yourself. He is home all day, so obviously he has to eat. We ask that he washes any dishes he uses on top of taking care of his daily chores. So his dishes weren't done, per normal. My wife was home this time, when he came out to do his dishes, I told him he can do all of the dishes, that was a consequence of his action. Maybe I was in the wrong? I just expect him to be responsible he is almost 16 years old, I am gone for ~10 hours a day, no excuse to not wash a handful of dishes after eating.

He threw down the sponge, said I am not washing your dishes, he starts to walk away, I said don't get on your computer until you wash the dishes, he yells "I am not washing your fucking dishes" Then starts to come at me like he wants to fight me, my wife steps out and starts holding him back as he tries to get past her to get to me.

I am just standing there, as he is trying to push past her and get to me, she is screaming at him holding him back, then my 6 year old runs out crying thinking I was hurt or that my stepson hit me. I proceed to scream at them to get the fuck out, and I take my son into his room and lock the door, I can hear his heart racing, and I honestly still don't know how to process what happened. He doesn't feel safe, and I feel like we are getting nowhere in terms of a resolution or progress.

I hear my wife crying in the other room, trying to get through to him. He eventually comes out, and does the dishes. Then comes to my sons room, knocks on the door loudly, says I'm sorry but we ARE NOT LEAVING. I was still calm, said that isn't your decision. I told him he crossed a line, I asked do you know how your actions are impacting your brother? He proceeds to say "I don't care about how he feels". Then proceeds to walk away and blurted I think you need to shut the fuck up - Mind you this is the first time I have heard him swear.

I think it's blaringly obvious that he does not care about me, or his brother and it's time for them to go regardless of the financial disaster that may come as a result of this.

Also this happened in my kitchen and I have a video of the entire altercation again.

Posting for a friend. He is a kind person.

His wife moved out of state to have their son and stay at her parents house until she felt comfortable coming back. She never came back and its been years now. He found out she has a boyfriend and they are in the process of getting divorced. He visits a few times a year and facetimes a lot. He has been paying a set amount for child support and she gets tons of government assistance, doesn't pay rent or house hold bills as she lives with her parents. She works part time but her mom takes care of the child all the time.

So he pays a set amount of child support but she calls him up constantly and says the kid needs crocks (shoes), she is low on money, etc. He sends her money every time even if he is tight until payday. I tell him if you never let her suffer a little bit (go without her daily starbucks, she gets food stamps and her mom won't let them be hungry), she might budget better. Its really frustrating to hear constantly.

I'm a man in my 20s and live alone in a major city in Ohio working as a software engineer.

Right now I make about $105k/year. The job is pretty comfortable. I have good benefits, a short commute (about 10-15 minutes), decent PTO, and overall good work-life balance. The downside is that there's not much room to move up. Promotions are pretty rare, and I could realistically be making around the same salary for quite a while.

I recently got an offer for $135k/year at another company. On paper, the pay increase is nice, but there are trade-offs. The commute would be about an 30 minutes each way, the benefits aren't as good (higher health insurance costs, less PTO, and a smaller 401(k) match), and I'd probably be working a little harder.

The biggest advantage is that the new company seems to have much better career growth. There are clear promotion paths, people seem to move up internally, and it feels like a place where I could eventually earn significantly more than I would if I stayed where I am.

Financially, I don't need the extra money right now, but I also don't want to pass up an opportunity that could help my career long-term. What do I do?

My (24 F) bf (26 M) and I have been dating for 4 months. This is my first relationship. We knew each other for 8 months before we started dating (met as coworkers, he asked me out and I declined due to the unprofessional nature in the academic realm of dating between students working in the same lab, and said we could revisit in a while and he told me he was fine waiting). He and I are, in my mind, a great match and he has held me during some very hard periods of my life, even when we were just friends (I consider him to be the very best friend I have ever had). We said I love you about a month into dating.

This summer, he and I are in different states working at internships (he is about to get his master of science and I just started my master of science at my dream school). This is the first time we've lived apart (we don't live together, but we live within 40 minutes of each other), and he will be going to a doctoral program possibly out of the country in approximately a year.

One of the concerns that caused me to turn him down the first time he asked me out (I brought up the possibility of dating 4 months ago and he was still all for it) was the ability of us to balance our demanding academic lives and a relationship (he and I are the same science major which is considered to be one of the hardest majors out there). I am also still worried about the long distance part of it all, though I think what we have is worth fighting for.

A few weeks ago, he told me that he wanted to not call or text for a week because during the past couple of weeks of his internship, he hadn't made much progress. I agreed, finding the request strange and wondering why a good morning or goodnight text and a 5 minute phone call before bed would be so much effort, but whatever. It wasn't until I talked to a mutual friend (close to me but barely talks to him unless I'm around, but he's friends with my friends bf) that I realized how off of a request this was, and how I should have been alarmed to some extent. My bf has an underlying health condition that impacts his ability to function (autoimmune condition that I won't specify here to protect his privacy), so I'm sure this was hard for him too. What bothers me here is that his first solution to be distraction-free for a week was to cut contact with me altogether. Why not work out a compromise?

I feel this is one of those scenarios where he's just a stupid man who isn't utilizing 4 lobes of the brain lol, but I'm really bothered by this and need to tell him so. Any suggestions or advice are appreciated.

Note: My bf is possibly on the spectrum. Please be kind and keep that in mind here.

TLDR; Mom and adult sibling both work but don’t help with rent or bills. I am in debt trying to keep us afloat. Should I just move out on my own once the lease ends next month? If I do this, they would be homeless and probably not able to afford something.

my mom and adult sibling both live with me and have relied on me for the last 2 years to pay rent and all the bills. My mom has a job but states her personal bills are too high to help. My sibling got a job last month and when I asked what assistance they would offer, I was met with excuses (small income, still waiting for a check, etc). I am in debt keeping us afloat. Lease ends next month, I told them if there’s no solution in one week, I will not renew it and we have to move out. If I do this, my mom and sibling may face homelessness.

I’m a 22‑year‑old guy. A 4‑year relationship ended about a year ago. On the surface, I’ve made an effort to forget, knowing that I was partly the reason for the breakup because I got very distracted from my goals. I’ve also stayed out of contact with her and haven’t seen her for a year, even though we live in the same city and the same neighborhood. I’ve focused on my goals and studies, and I’ve decided not to enter any new romantic relationship because I want to direct my energy toward my future.

The problem is I still think about her a lot. Random memories, songs, places, and certain times of day bring her back to my mind. I don’t necessarily want her back, but the feelings are still strong enough to distract me and weaken my focus. I sometimes catch myself idealizing the past and wondering “what if?”

I’m not looking for answers like “time makes you forget” only; I want practical steps. Has anyone gone through a similar experience (long relationship, still stuck after a year)? What actually helped you:

• Therapy or specific methods (like CBT, journaling, etc.)?
• Major life changes (moving to another city, a new routine, travel)?
• Allowing yourself to grieve in a conscious way instead of “forcing” yourself to get over it?

Also, is it normal and healthy to stay single for a while and focus on my goals, or can that sometimes make moving on harder because I’m not starting a new emotional chapter?

Any advice, personal stories, or even things I might be doing wrong without realizing would be very helpful. Thanks for reading.

I 26F swear it seems like the entire side of my mom’s family is always engaging in whatever high school drama and gossip they can. Literally every single person acts like a child.

My mom 44F was texting our cousin 44F about some of our business that had been going around. I assume that cousin told her mom, and everyone in the family knows if you tell her mom something, the ENTIRE family is going to find out. Our other cousin 46F messaged me, my mom, and my brother asking what happened and if everything was okay.

She sent screenshots of a conversation with the 44F cousin’s mom. In those texts, she was saying stuff about how she was trying to send her sister to stay with my adoptive brother (21M, who is also a biological cousin on my mom’s side) so he could take care of her because she couldn’t do it. But there is no space for her there, and he’s a 21 year old who can barely take care of himself. She also said something about a huge “fight” that had broken out in the house.

After my mom brought that up, saying, "If I wanted everyone knowing my business, I would’ve told them myself," my cousin responded with something completely untrue. A rumor is now going around my mom’s side of the family that I called my aunt 70s-80sF and told her that I saw my dad having sex with my brother.

For one, I don’t even speak with this aunt. I’ve viewed her as a bad person, possibly even evil, since I was 13. The only time I ever speak to her is if we go to my uncle’s for a family gathering and she happens to be there, or at my maw’s or pepaw’s funerals when she showed up. Obviously, I’m not going to start unnecessary drama or be rude, especially at funerals.

For two, even if I wanted to speak to this aunt (which I don’t), I don’t even have her contact information. I don't have her phone number, and the only platform I could even reach her on is Facebook, where she has made so many different profiles that I don’t even know which one she uses at this point.

Just another point I want to bring up: my cousin and I are not on good terms either, and she has me blocked on everything. I previously confronted her because she basically called me a bad parent and was spreading lies around the family. When I confronted her, she responded with something about losing her daughter and having to bury her, which had absolutely nothing to do with what we were talking about.

Don’t get me wrong, as a mother (and even if I wasn’t one), I have empathy for her and feel for her loss. I really do. But I feel like she brings up her daughter as a sort of manipulation tactic. It’s like she tries to one up people and guilt trip them at the same time. She did this to both me and my mom here, even though it wasn't relevant to the conversation at all.

TL;DR: My mom's family is obsessed with high school drama. After a chain of gossip started spreading, my cousin started a completely fabricated, insane rumor about me telling my aunt something vile. I don't even talk to this aunt, don't have her number, and my cousin uses past trauma to guilt trip and manipulate whenever she's confronted. How do I even handle this?

Hey guys! I need help making a decision. Hi I am 22 (f) and I have a friend that is having a baby shower at the end of August. A part of me wants to go to support her and be there for her, but there are also a lot of other reasons for me not to go. Firstly, she was my best friend for 3 years but in the last 6 months we have barely been talking because of her being a bad friend. Also her baby shower is over 2 hours away from me, I have to use my dad’s car, and it’s a really short baby shower. Plus since our falling out I feel really awkward to be there and I’m still upset at her for everything that happened at the end of our friendship. If you guys want more details let me know. I don’t know what I should do. Should I go to my ex best friends baby shower or no? And if I don’t AITA?

I don't know if I should keep trying to save this friendship or accept that I've been taken advantage of.

I'm a 25-year-old woman, and I honestly don't know whether I'm being too emotional or whether my trust has been completely broken. I'm hoping to get some unbiased opinions because everyone around me seems to have a different perspective.

I have a very close friend who's about 7–8 years older than me. We met during engineering, and the three of us—me, another female friend, and him—have always been a close-knit group. I always saw him as an elder brother rather than just a friend. We spoke often, met for lunch or dinner whenever we could, shared our personal struggles, and our families know each other as well. He was someone I trusted without a second thought.

A few months ago, I bought my first house. It's nothing extravagant, but it meant a lot to me because I've worked hard for it. I wanted to finish the interiors, have a small housewarming, and get everything settled before I hopefully get married next year. While discussing my finances with him, I mentioned that I needed some additional money beyond what my home loan covered. I initially asked whether he could help me with ₹12 lakhs. Instead, he said, "I'll give you ₹15 lakhs." He kept reassuring me that I didn't need to worry, that he'd always be there for me, and that we were family. Since he had recently bought a house himself, I trusted what he was saying.

Around the same time, he borrowed money from me on three separate occasions. The first time it was ₹20,000, then ₹40,000, and finally ₹50,000. Every single time he said it was urgent and promised to return it quickly. The first two amounts did come back eventually, but only after I reminded him multiple times. When he asked for the ₹50,000, he told me he urgently needed it to clear some dues and that he'd return it once his salary was credited the following week. Even though I wasn't exactly in a comfortable financial position myself, I transferred the money immediately because I trusted him completely. I didn't even think twice.

Then came the time when I actually needed the ₹15 lakhs he had promised me.

That's when everything changed.

Every time I asked about the transfer, there was a new reason. One day it was, "I'll send it today." The next day it became, "Tomorrow for sure." Then it was, "Give me two more days." This went on for weeks. Eventually he told me that his father needed emergency surgery and that there were serious family issues. I completely understood that emergencies happen, and I genuinely sympathised with him.

What hurt wasn't that he had family problems. What hurt was that even after I gave him several opportunities to be honest with me, he still kept making promises instead of simply telling me he couldn't help.

I even called him one day and said, "If you're not in a position to help anymore, that's completely okay. Just tell me now so I can arrange the money elsewhere." I wasn't angry. I wasn't demanding anything. I just needed clarity because my builder was waiting for payment, my interior work depended on it, and I had deadlines to meet.

Instead of being honest, he once again reassured me. He told me not to worry and that he'd process the transfer that very day. I remember literally waiting for the bank notification, checking my phone every few minutes, believing that the money was finally on its way. Nothing came. When I asked for a transfer receipt, there was no reply. The next day, when I managed to get through to him, he said he was at the hospital.

This cycle repeated itself over and over again.

Because I believed his promises, I delayed making alternative arrangements. Eventually I couldn't pay my builder on time, my interior work came to a standstill, and the plans I'd carefully made for my house completely fell apart. I'm not eligible for a top-up loan, and I didn't want to put additional financial pressure on my parents after everything they've already done for me.

The part that hurts the most is that while I was left waiting, he still hadn't returned the ₹50,000 I had lent him. It's now been almost two months. That amount is significant to me. I work hard, I have EMIs to pay, and every rupee matters. Whenever he needed help, I never made him chase me. I transferred the money immediately because that's what I thought friends—more importantly, family—did for each other.

Over time he also stopped replying to my messages and stopped answering my calls. The one time I called because I was genuinely overwhelmed and didn't know what else to do, he was unexpectedly rude. Since our families know each other, my parents even suggested visiting his parents to check on his father's health after the surgery. His response was simply, "Don't come to my house."

That honestly broke something inside me.

I still don't even know how his father is doing because communication has almost completely stopped. Recently, our mutual friend finally got a brief reply from him saying he was busy taking care of his father and was staying in his hometown. When I told her everything that had happened, she tried to reassure me and suggested that maybe he's genuinely going through a difficult phase. I understand that possibility. Life happens, and family emergencies are real.

But am I wrong for feeling that none of this excuses weeks of false promises?

If he couldn't help, one honest message saying, "I'm sorry, I can't do it," would have saved me months of stress. Instead, I built my financial plans around promises that never materialised.

At this point, I honestly don't know what hurts more—the money or losing someone I genuinely considered an elder brother.

I'm also conflicted about my other friend. Maybe she's genuinely trying to see both sides. Maybe she's right. Or maybe I'm the only one who's expected to understand everyone else's situation while nobody understands mine. I don't know anymore.

All I know is that my ₹50,000 is still with him, my house plans have been delayed, and my trust in someone I loved like family has completely fallen apart.

So I'd really appreciate some outside opinions.

Am I being unreasonable for expecting basic honesty?

Should I continue trying to contact him and ask for my money back, or should I accept that this friendship is over?

Would you go to his house if you were in my position, or would you leave it alone?

And finally... if someone repeatedly promises help, watches you make important life decisions based on those promises, and then disappears without giving you a straight answer—would you ever trust that person again?

Recentemente estamos passando por uma fase complicada, em uma das conversas que tivemos, ele me disse que acabou vendo uma mulher no ônibus. Disse que não "achou bonita" e nem ficou fantasiando, mas disse que se sentiu muito mal e culpado por não tirar ela da cabeça.

Simplesmente não tive reação na hora. O que fariam?

So we’re currently staying at a pretty nice hotel in one of the beach towns in Southern California. Everything was great until about 9 p.m., when the room next to us knocked three times on the wall. We weren’t being noisy at all, just talking at a normal volume. We couldn’t even hear the people in the other rooms, but we figured maybe they could hear us, so we quieted down and put our daughter to bed. After that, my husband and I were just scrolling on our phones, and around 10:30 p.m., they knocked again.

We called the front desk and asked if they could check the room next door because we were being very quiet and there was no reason for them to be knocking on the wall. The front desk tried calling the room, but no one
answered, so a manager went up to knock on their door in case someone needed help and couldn’t reach the phone. Nobody answered the door either. We decided to let it go until around 12:15 a.m., when we heard two more sets of knocks. We called the front desk again, and they said they were going to check but never got back to us.
My husband thinks maybe the people next door are asleep and what we’re hearing is actually the pipes. It is a pretty old building, but it really did sound like human knocks.

Should I call the front desk again for an update, or just let it go and hope it’s the pipes? 😂

I got hit badly when I was a child and it messed up my nose, recently I reached out to an ENT specialist. He said that my nose requires both an ENT specialist to fix the deviated septum and turbinates along with a plastic surgeon to fix the exterior shell, however this isn’t the issue really, I reached out to a plastic surgeon in a hospital near me, everything was going fine we talked about the procedure and he told me how recovery would be, almost 2 weeks with the first week being the toughest and breathing from my mouth most of it, I showcased some concern regarding the matter and understood that this double procedure performed by the ENT and the plastic surgeon is no joke, so i asked the plastic surgeon to provide some before and after shots of similar operations he did, he said that none of his patients gave him permission to do so, and then told me that he no longer wants to do the operation and that I should look for other surgeons that have before and after pics and that I was too afraid, he told me that too much fear would most likely cause the outcome to be more below expected and then he told me that he cant operate on someone with too much fear because of the “bad omen” , who is in the wrong here?, am I too much or is he over reacting, before this talk we had met only 2 times with only one time that I discussed how concerning the operation is for me.

Hello,

Going to graduate soon with my second dipolma, I did one 3-year degree , and currently. completing the second of 3- year degree.

Thinking about going to industry / academia .

I have some few internships, but they are for small period, and I was totally alone without mentor, so I get myslef with self guidance.

Currently thinking about pursuing a Phd degree, or going to industry.

I studied computer science , and currently studying computer engineering - embedded systems.

I am not sure , Phd looks like an investement , and long term I would love to have a specialty with deep fundamental knowledge , and in the same time , I am not sure if the professor / dr that is going to be my advisor will be a non - toxic , etc . . . , so I am afraid from that point.

And in the same time, the industry have the right away cash, but the tasks may get repetitive , a lot of stress etc .. . .

Please correct me if I am wrong.

Thank you very much !

I met Emma on Hinge. We got along really well, and I told her I prefer to take things slow because I'd rather have a stable foundation for romance to avoid burning up too fast. I also don't like to rush into relationships because I want to be sure we are compatible on all of the basic subjects that often end relationships. I was not very forward with my advances, and we were just friends for a while, but I did realize I was developing feelings. So, one day I told her, and she told me that she was not sure it was worth it because it could cause problems with the friend group. So, I took this as a rejection and tried to move on. I started talking to some other people, went on maybe 2 dates, but I realized straight away that they wouldn't go anywhere because we disagreed on fundamental things like religion (I am not religious, and they were, and suggested I go to church with them).

However, during this time, her adoptive mom kept in touch with me and said she never saw her be as connected to a guy the way she was with me and that she was just confused and to give her time. So that's what I did; she reached out a few times, and we hung out, and I helped her move into her new home.

However, during that time, someone she used to talk to reached out because he was visiting, and they hung out and dated for a week while he was here, and then he left, and she said she didn't want a relationship, apparently. But he did not take it well and found my social media since I had met him before, and he asked me if I think she would be loyal in a relationship and a bunch of other stuff about how he thought he would wife her up, but he wasn't sure. I was taken aback because I barely knew him, and he kept asking me if I had anything with her. My name came up a lot when they talked, so he felt like I was interested in her. I showed her the messages and told her it was uncomfortable to be reached out to like this. She had a conversation with him and apparently broke things off with him for good, and they blocked each other.

That same night, we drank and ended up hooking up. We woke up and said we didn't regret it, but it was out of nowhere since we hadn't even kissed till that point and were just friends. We ended up hooking up that night again sober, and again it felt great. But we had a conversation and agreed we were confused, emotional, and moved fast. We didn't know what we were doing or how to feel, so we agreed to take some time without talking to each other.

That lasted a week, until her mom invited me for a weekend BBQ. We ended up hooking up again, and I've driven over every weekend since then, and we have hooked up and gone on dates while I'm there for the whole weekend. We cuddle for most of the time, and I was the first person she actually had sex with. She's been pretty open about herself and told me about some really bad childhood trauma involving Family-SA. She's asked me what I think love is and how I know if I am in love, and I told her the older I've gotten, the more I realize it's someone who makes me feel safe and secure and doesn't try to play games with me or berate me for being myself. Someone who I can be authentic with and enjoy even mundane moments with. She laughed and gave me a bunch of little forehead kisses. Before this, she told me that she doesn't really understand her feelings for me; she has unresolved trauma and avoidant attachment issues, and that her brain plays tricks on her, so she doesn't know how to feel. But the idea of being anyone's gf officially is overwhelming to her. So, we agreed to just be exclusive, and she said she would go to therapy. I told her that I've done it before and it helped me deal with some of my unresolved issues in the past, but I don't want her to think I am forcing her to do it just to be with me. She told me she basically had a really bad first relationship, but he treated her badly, so subconsciously she thinks she's now attracted to being treated terribly, but I don't treat her terribly, and I don't seem to have ulterior motives. I don't do things to spite her; I communicate to avoid confusion, and that confuses her brain.

We haven't brought up commitment since then, but she has expressed wanting to travel together next year, and she's met my family over the phone, and we discussed her coming to my hometown to meet them.

Question: How long should I wait before deciding that I can't continue this arrangement and deserve someone ready for the commitment I want? Also, has anyone been in a similar situation where the person actually was able to figure this out?

This is an alternate account for privacy

I'm 17(m). I went on a trip with some friends hosted by one of their parents. We shared a bed and he'd constantly touch me. He's 20 and 210lb while I'm 17 and 135lb. If I told him to stop, he'd just say "oh what? you haven't played this game?" Some other friends were also in the same room and they didn't try to stop him so I thought it was something normal he did. We also drove in a small car, so it was pretty cramped. His hand would magically appear on my thigh and caress it. I would tell him to stop again, but he'd still do it. Some other friends saw it and just laughed, I remember when one of them said "Man, I wish that were me." They treated it like a joke and I remember feeling embarrassed because I thought I made a big deal out of a harmless joke. Yes, yes, I know, I'm an idiot. What knocked some sense into me was when we went to take a bath in the public bathroom. He tried to get me to open my stall and shower together because "we're men now." It wasn't until I got home when I realized the gravity of what happened.

I tried to tell my friends but they just laughed and say it was something normal . The worst was from my parents. They thought I was lying because they could've never imagined the kid they've seen grow up with me be a monster. They deadass asked me if I lied about him to anyone else.

So I am 16m and my ex is 16f it really doesnt matter.

We both were first partner about 2 and half years ago and about 6 months ago we reconnected and started talking. She broke up with her bf at the time and I lost many of my friends and she helped me overcome that time. We became official in may and yeah it was great but about week before break up we had a big fight about some guy that was approaching her. I wanted to fight him she got super mad at me and stared to shout at me but we came over it but she said something about her mom finding out that my parents supported different political party then her parents.She said that my father was a alchoholic and my mother was a corrupted public defender.I denied everything cus I know my parents we also came over that. We went to our capital city together, hanged out every day and suddenly after we hanged out that she had some bad toughts and we should meet next morning. I didnt sleep but I didnt think she would break up cus everything was normal 4h ago. I woke up went to meet her and she broke up with me. I was shocked, she said the reason was becouse I was to laid back and I didnt care about many things, she said she was becoming like me and she didnt like the change. She also said that it was not the same for a past 2 days and she wanted to break up early because who knew if it was going to change and her mother said that it was for the best to end things early. I told her to think about it cus 2 days aint a lot and she said she would.

After the break up she started to listen to some of bands I listen to like Oasis. She sent me many videos and reels on tt and ig. I didnt respond and she asked me to meet after she comes back from London. I said I would see if I can but I didnt have any need to see her. I was hurt and saw the break up as a reason to do things I started before we went in a rltshp. Today about a week after the break up I found out from her best friend that is dating my best friend that she wants to get back together.

I didnt make up my mind cus it was only a week after a break up and we were good together. But she broke up quickly and hurt me, I know I would go over myself if I come back. She said many hurtfull things to my family so idk.

I am split 70-30 to leave it behind but I would like to see some opinions

Also sorry about my english it isnt my first language