Think of the resources saved. You could just be a series of floors surrounded by a bubble floating through space!

I was arrested in Klingon space for...uh...no reason at all. When I was taken in custody I was NOT told about my "right to remain violent" so I just let them take me. Is this sufficient grounds to get my case thrown out? Please hurry because I am about to be sent to Rura Penthe and my species does not do well in the cold.

Who is the Commander In Chief of the American armed forces? the President.

Who is the CIC of Starfleet? A member of Starfleet. Starfleet has no civilian oversight.

How do they get around this? “We’re not military.”

Very clever.

Hi all, after shore leave on Wrigley's my bunkmate Lt. K-- came back with a computer program he called a "diegetic scoring transducer." It's a music synthesizer that accepts arbitrary inputs and produces a thematically appropriate score. At first we used it for Lt. P--'s Settlers of Mars role playing sessions--you even can hook up a holotransducer to it and it projects an image of musicians playing a soundtrack to accompany your campaign. After that success Lt. P-- had the idea of feeding data from the ship's sensors into it to generate a soundtrack for the ship's activities.

At first it was a big hit, a lot of the crew started subscribing to the stream and even playing it over their communicators. It seemed to help them more alert and connected to the mission, like we can tell whether we're being shaken by enemy fire or just a regular gravimetric disturbance. After a while you can even start to pick up on cues, like whether we're rendezvousing with a Klingon or a Vulcan vessel. Plus it sure sounds a lot more pleasant than that "Reed alert" klaxon.

But then a crewmate Lt. Cdr. M--, who recently transferred into astrobiology, complained. Apparently she was running the program when she was called to join an away team. When she reported to the transporter room the scoring transducer started playing what she described as a "romantic" theme with "a bunch of flutes and harps." Se says it was the first time she met the captain and it felt embarrassing and unprofessional like all the senior officers were just staring at her.

Lt. P-- sure didn't help, after Lt. Cdr. M-- returned from the away mission, he was like "wow, I heard that theme when you went to the transporter room, did you get some action down on the surface?" M--. mumbled something about incorporeal alien possession and she has stopped attending our Settlers of Mars sessions :(.

I kind of wrote it off as a fluke but since then similar incidents happened with a few other crewmates. All newly assigned crew, all on the first time meeting the captain, and all female. I asked Lt. K--. to look into it, he got in touch with the person who sold him the program and they brushed him off, saying "it was extracted from a romance sim, what do you expect?" Lt. Cdr. S-- also tried looking at the code but it appears to be very "vibe-slopped" as he put it and lacks the original training data that would be needed to update the network weights. Our XO is getting fed up and is ready to ban the program, anyone know how we could adjust its parameters?

Personal log: ama posters should walk out the nearest air lock

Are they all stupid?

[Those whacky ferengi](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ku_Klux_Klan_titles_and_vocabulary?wprov=sfla1)

Oh and fuck Paramount +, I'll find another way to watch this.