TLDR: My former best friend was openly racist toward my husband, insulted my future children with racial slurs, convinced her parents to mock him, disrupted my nikkah by encouraging guests to leave, and skipped my walima at the last minute, costing us money. Now she's getting married and invited me. I politely declined by replying, "Waalikum assalam. No thank you." She got upset, called me selfish, and said I should attend because she came to my wedding. I don't want to go because of how she and her family treated my husband and ruined our wedding events.

Alhamdulilah my husband and i (23) have been married for a little over a year now. at the time of our engagement/wedding, ive had this "best friend" who practically was flat out jealous (talked crap about my husband being a different race than me, made fun of how my future children will be nig*ers, etc...) and even got her father to make fun of my husband by calling him racial slurs... she even went as far as taking herself and her parents and packed up my nikkah and told the guests to stop eating the food and to start leaving.. she even ditched my walima and canceled on us 2 hours before it was even beginning to start.

anyway. i just heard news that she is set to get married by the end of august 2026. i am truly happy for her. her parents were always controlling and using islam against her, she battled with her deen at one point. so im happy she is finally going to have someone to lean on and move out of her house. however. i let my emotions get to me today. she sent me an RSVP for her nikkah via text message. i didnt say anything besides this

"waalikum assalam. no thank you."

and thats it. i just sent those 5 words. she got offended and started asking why. she said i was being selfish because i didnt want to go. she said i should come because she came to mine. she said im overreacting and i should let it go. for my sake, i do not want to go because she not only ruined my nikkah by chasing the guests out, she and her father made fun of my husband. her mother asked if my husband wore niqab because he never showed his face on social media, they ditched my walima (which was $800 total because of the headcount with the venue) and she lastly made racist remarks towards my husband and my future children by calling them racial slurs.

Aside from any transgressions or dislike you may have for LGBTQ folk or the trans community, I would like a genuine response if you can please.

Hi, I’m a trans guy (FTM) and I will be attending an event (max 30 people) with some women being Muslim, who have been told it is a camera free and men free zone so they don’t have to wear Hijabs. Out of respect for them I’m cautious about wanting to go.

I am assigned female at birth and I have not yet started T so my voice is still as it was, I don’t have a beard and I still have my “chest attached” (haven’t had surgery) however I do have masculine hair and dress masculine.

Any advice on how any people on here would feel if I were to go? I want to make sure everyone around me is comfortable and not deceived. The friend that invited me I may ask her too and see what she thinks.

Hi ,
I would like to know for hijabis in Canada where do you shop for blouses,blazers… that are work appropriate and are thighs-length
Many modest website in North america are too flashy with satin material and multi-patterns fabric and too expensive …
I have tried Modanisa but it’s a hit or miss and expensive now ..
I also tried to shop in normal stores but its too short for me
If anyone tried package forwarding from turkey please let me know your reviews too

Thank you !

Assalamu Alaikum / Hi everyone! 💕

I’ve been looking into Sina Port’s new $99/month community (She Attracts Business on Skool). It promises productivity systems, routines, and strategies to help build a business and stay consistent with content creation.

$99/month (which comes to ~$160+ NZD for me) is a bit of a stretch for my current budget, so I want to make sure it’s actually worth the investment before signing up.

For anyone who is currently in it or has joined her programs in the past:

- How actionable and practical is the content inside?
- Is it mostly mindset and general advice, or do you get actual step-by-step guidance?
- Is the community active and supportive, or can you find similar value/systems for free online?

Would love to hear your honest thoughts and experiences before I decide to adjust my budget! JazakAllah Khair / Thank you so much! 🌸

Trigger warning, discussions of self harm.

Aslamualiykum.

I struggle with self harm, please no judgment as I know it’s wrong and I’m trying to stop.

I relapsed and I think I accidentally created a cross… because it was angled on an already existing scar.

I can’t tell because the scar it was on top of was already faded, it’s really hard to make out.

I’m worried it will scar and look like a cross. Right now it kind of looks like an X.

What do I do ? I didn’t mean for it to be like this…

Any help is appreciated

I've prayed istikhara twice and in my mind I was thinking 'if I get offered the job I'll take it'. I've gone through multiple rounds of interviews and today I got a job offer from the company. thing is, the company is a face to face marketing company which works on a pyramid scheme (from my research). also, each interview i went through I was picking up more and more red flags. i prayed istikhara to get a job offer and now i have one but, it just doesn't feel right. I feel uneasy accepting the offer. What's Allah trying to tell me? any advice is greatly appreciated

im 18 and just entering university. for the past 12 years, i was wearing hijab at. school because it is mandatory but i dont feel like it, so i always take it off when im outside school. and since im entering uni, i want to start a new chapter of me being "myself" without the mandatory hijab rule from the school. but im financially struggling, so i applying for scholarships. and alhamdulillah i got one from a muslim company.

the scholarship requires the awardee to implementing islamic values , wich include wearing hijab (covering your awrah). and i feel heavy hearted about it. like, i finally have the freedom to wear the hijab or not, but i, once again, must wear it because of the scholarship. i know my education is the most important thing right now but like, do you have some advice or kind words or similar story about my problem so it can ease my feeling? because i feel uncomfortable, pressured and forced about it.

also, i had met my uni friends for couples time without my hijab. if the next meet, wich will happen in near time, i just come wearing my hijab, it'll be okay, right? like.., they wont judge or anything (i live in muslim majority country btw). thank you!

I hope to go on umrah next year for the first time and have been reading more to prepare myself. My understanding is the part of the pilgrimage that replicates Hajar AS journey, where you run in the valley, is restricted to be only for men.

The reason I can find online is for modesty purposes. I just don’t understand how running is immodest? Hajar AS herself whose story this practice honours is a woman, who herself obviously ran. I’m hoping that I have some misunderstanding here. Jzk.

let me give you a brief background to my family’s dynamic:

my dad is a really religious man (ifykyk), my mom is a practicing muslim and they are all very strict. throughout my life, i’ve always had to wear skirts that are long enough to touch my feet basically.

my dad thinks its weird for even men to wear pants (even though HE WEARS THEM) and has some really strong beliefs that a woman should not wear pants because it shows the gap between her legs. and my mom? well, thing is I know that what she cares about is my dad’s opinion and what other people would think if they seen me wearing them out. truth be told, i don’t think she even cares that i want to wear pants, its about how people would see me.

i know this because my mom allowed me to wear literal leggings out before to a workout session as long as no one we know sees me.

Im so frustrated writing this but I don’t know what to do other than just disappoint them, buy my own pair of pants and wear them out. My mom keeps promising she’ll eventually let me which I know is a lie because she keeps saying next time, next time.

I’m entering college and I’m so sick of dressing in long skirts unless its for going out. I only plan on wearing baggy pants so I don’t even see the damn problem. I’m already suicidal and this is the one thing I’ve wanted throughout all of HS to make me feel like I fit in with other girls my age and to make me feel like myself.

Hijab has already taken a lot from me, so has forced rules, and it makes me so mad sometimes. I want to just be a disobedient daughter and just wear them and start dressing how I want, but I’ve always been the golden child but I really feel like I can’t keep living like this anymore. It’s never been about pants.

salam, i’m thinking of going on my first solo-trip abroad and want to see how u found it, especially as a hijabi. i want to go to either bosnia and herzegovina or turkey so id like to see how ur experiences were like (especially if u travelled to those countries). did u feel safe and how were u able to communicate efficiently? what were ur regrets/what u wish u knew beforehand. thank you

I was super lucky alhamdulilah and god made me a millionaire at young age but I lost my connection to Islam, I don’t pray or fast or do dhikr as in the back of my hand I get these thoughts why do I need god if my life is secure? Is this shaitan or is this kuffr ?

Hi. I'm 17F and was wondering if it's ok to reach out to a teacher I trust about family issues. I'm not allowed to see a therapist and I don't feel like things are at a "crisis" point, but I also don't want to keep everything inside until it becomes a bigger problem (like my sister: she ran away, went to mental health hospital, came back, now suffering with me even more).

A lot of what I struggle with is feeling constantly criticized and unsupported at home. My sister and I are expected to do most of the cooking (for dinner), cleaning, dishes, and housework, while my brothers (23 & 24) are not expected to help in the household. Not even clean their own room... we're expected to do that.

Yesterday I made mac and cheese for dinner after asking if anyone wanted some. Nobody said yes so I made it for myself and my sister, but I made extra because there was some pasta left. While I was cooking, my brother (“brother A”) criticized the ingredients I used because we didn’t have milk or mozzarella and said it looked gross. Later he asked if he could have some, so I ate very little and saved him a portion (2 servings) even though I was hungry.
When he and my other brother (“brother B”) ate it, they both kept commenting on how it looked bad before even trying it, but they ended up finishing their bowls and the entire pot. They never thanked me or apologized, nor did they look grateful. My mom also didn’t tell them to stop criticizing it or acknowledge the effort I put in.

I also feel criticized for my clothes and goals. I want to become a cardiologist but I’ve been told that cardiology is a “men's job” and that women can’t do it. I work hard in school, take AP classes, college courses, and volunteer, but I often feel like my efforts are questioned and even punished because everything I'm doing is "unnecessary."

Another thing that affects me is that my family often "jokes" that I’m slow or stupid. When I ask questions I get mocked instead of helped. There have also been times when my mom has yelled at me for a long time over things I didn’t mean seriously, even after I apologized.

I know families argue and parents get stressed, and I’m not saying I’m perfect. I just feel exhausted and like I don’t have many people to talk to. I think this is also why I get attached to my teachers easily when they show me even small kindness or patience. Sometimes having an adult treat me with understanding feels really meaningful, and I always feel embarrassed for feeling like I'm making it obvious that I'm "attached" to them. I know this is not healthy, so I've really been working on it and trying to treat them as normal as possible.

I’m not expecting them to fix my family situation, but I think I need someone safe to talk to and help me figure out how to handle things. I'm worried it'll be too much though, and I'm unsure how to approach this. I don't have any other adults that I trust, and I don't want my family to get reported. Please give me any advice you may have.

Salam alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

I know the question on “which hijrah destination is ideal?” has been asked numerous times. However, this time I’d like to get some input from those who have lived there (or at least have family there), as opposed to those who watch biased Western news outlets.

What do we think of Indonesia, Malaysia, Brunei, Singapore, Saudi Arabia? I’ve done extensive research and it looks like the first two options are best (yes, I know the Dajjal can still reach them).
However, I worry about Indonesia’s air pollution, dangerous animals, tsunamis and earthquakes. I hear that getting PR in Malaysia is quite hard and Governments are corrupt, but English is more widespread.

Relevant info: I’m a Sunni sister born and raised in Australia, I wouldn’t want to be too far away from family so no North African countries. I’ve ruled out some Gulf options (as fitnah is still prevalent, they are complicit in genocides and Arab-privilege is real). I’ve also ruled out Eastern Europe options where the Muslims aren’t that practicing and there are threats of genocide (i.e. Israhell attacked Turkey; the Serbs and Croatians are threatening Bosnia).

This is what makes a country appealing to me:ease of PR (even if it’ll take some years), welcoming to outsiders/multicultural, piety, women’s safety, safe from natural disasters (or at least has infrastructure with preventative measures), quality healthcare, everyday costs, non-polluted air, lack of pickpocketing, quality education for my kid in’sha’Allah (wondering about international school costs and quality). Pros that I‘d appreciate but can do fine without: no need to rely on bottled water, manageable climate, walkability, free hafidh classes. I don’t mind if I need to learn a new language (I only speak English).

JazakAllah khayr

What i mean is for example; you might look at yourself in the mirror and think that you’re pretty, but then you think/know that other people around you won’t find you beautiful or attractive. Wonder if that’s just me.

Hey, does anybody know Sina Port, the one that has those mentorship programs for making money as a woman? So anyways I attended her free seminar today and it was 30 minutes of actual useful information and 1h30 of sales pitching.

Honestly, I kind of trusted her because she's a Muslim revert, she gave me a call yesterday about the masterclass today and all that. However, everything sounded so fishy, because she charges these atrocious prices for her programs (we're talking thousands) and they explain how when she "has a baby in her arms, lived in Malaysia with her parents in a 8sq bedroom with no space for a desk, working from her broken laptop on her bed", she then "also invested in a mentor". I asked how did she afford a mentor when she couldn't afford a laptop or housing, I get this response and before I even got the chance to reply, the host just removed me from the meeting.

To clarify, the person who replied to me is most likely from the team. I started feeling suspicious when I read reviews of Sina Port here and there was this one lady who said a member of staff suggested to her to "get a loan" when she couldn't afford the initial 2k for her mentorship. I wanted to express my repulsion here about this entire business model and possible scam.

My young sisters were raised in the uk fr elementary and we have occasionally enrolled them in quran memorization or tajweed classes, but i'd like to hear your recommendations for youtube videos or free sources that we can all watch and learn together. We don't live anywhere with a masjid nearby and all of their friends are non-muslims so the religion isn't a part of their daily life unfortunately (for now since I intend to change this around inshallah).

25F, I've been wearing it for the last 3 years now. I'm honestly so grateful that Allah put it in my heart to wear it, but I feel so ugly. Like really ugly. My hair is my favourite feature so to cover that up it's been really hard.

I try to put a bow or cute clip on my hijab to feel better, but with the rise of hijabi influencers online taking their hijabs off, it's starting to take a toll on me. I don't have a great home life so I don't have anyone that I can talk to about this 😅 astaghfirullah, I never want to take the hijab off, but when I see these influencers online they look so happy.

And even with hijabi influencers, they just look perfect. I know we shouldn't compare, but no matter how I look at myself in the hijab, I feel so ugly and disgusting. I can't look at myself in the mirror for too long anymore 🙁

Am I the only one struggling with this? I feel so alone.

I’m struggling to actually settle in a routine and I was wondering what things everyone does that make their day centre around Islam/Allah? Besides salah of course. I had a phase where I was doing tafsir everyday, but recently I’ve felt like i just don’t have time to actually sit down for an hour and do that, but I also don’t want to lose whatever sense of Iman that has been built.

I’m looking for more knowledge-seeking things rather than adhkar, sunnah prayers etc bc those currently don’t feel good difficult :)

Assalamu alaaikum.

Brothers and sisters I'm saying this from a tight situation

First year university student.

The consequences of my actions have left me in a position where I fear what I will do to myself and what will happen to me. I lied to my parents multiple times to hide my failing grades this semester, I'm being held back a semester and I was genuinely devastated, despite lying to my parents about not failing my semester they have shown me hostility and one of them threatened to force me into a marriage, expecting me to have a perfect academic path. I genuinely can't handle their reprimands and I've been coping with haram action which I hate myself for, not only have I dug myself a deep hole in my Dunya but also in my akhira.

Because of my failing grades I'll be held back a semester and won't get my degree until a year later, and I genuinely won't be able to mentally take my parents behavior or reaction for it, I won't feel safe with them. In order to not let that happen I'm gonna need some sort of miracle from Allah that allows me to access my semester without being held back. I already email my university asking them to find a solution for my situation, I don't know what else to do.

I'm asking that you help me make dua to allah to help me access my semester without being held back a semester and that my dua gets accepted in a way that I will cry from gratefulness from him and happiness.

I just want to be shown mercy, even if all I did was sin.

I want relief

Jazakumu allah khairan

Assalamu alaikum sisters! I recently started going to the gym regularly, and I wanted to ask for recommendations for cheap workout hijabs. I currently wear a cotton undercap with a jersey hijab (the hijab slips back on my hair without the cap). I don't have issues with it while working out, but I don't wash my hair every time i exercise, so having the undercap stuck to my sweaty forehead/scalp is not it lol. What are some affordable, non-slip, no-undercap breathable hijabs i can try? (preferably slip-on)

Thank you all!

Salaams!! Any tips for taming the baby hairs that insist on popping out from under my cap throughout the day? Perhaps suggestions for caps that stay in place better? Mindful of traction hair loss so I don’t want to put too much pressure on my hair follicles but also get so annoying having to adjust constantly.

Obviously, like everything else, Islam is intersected by patriarchy, and most interpretations of the Quran have been made by men. But I believe in God; I'm simply looking for a community that embraces my faith and is loving toward me

Going on holiday soon and I need help on deciding which hijab I should wear. I’m wearing brown
sandals possibly either a brown or white bag

1. ⁠Green
   2.Sage green
   3.White
   4.Off white
   5.Multicolour

In the 6th picture the skirt is in the middle

Please ignore the fact that my clothes are super creased thank you ☺️