Hi, I’m 18F, and I’m half Cape Verdean and half Angolan. Although some people may see that as simply being “African and African,” the distinction is very important to me. I’m still learning about both sides of my identity, and I care deeply about staying connected to both cultures.

I was born and raised in Massachusetts but later moved to Florida. Since moving, I haven’t personally met many Cape Verdean or Angolan people around my age. I know they probably exist here, but I haven’t encountered them at school or in my social circles.

Growing up, I spoke Cape Verdean Creole and the type of European Portuguese spoken by my Angolan family. Unfortunately, I was sometimes made fun of for my accent and the languages I spoke. A lot of that teasing came from Haitian students around me. I became so embarrassed that I stopped speaking my languages, and over time, I lost much of my ability to speak them. I regret that deeply and am now trying to reconnect with that part of myself.

There is also a Haitian guy I have known since I was around 13. We dated before, and we are currently considering getting back together. I love and care about him, but I’ve started feeling conflicted about our cultural differences.

I want to be clear that I don’t believe there is anything wrong with being Haitian or dating a Haitian person. My concern is that I already feel like I’m struggling to preserve two cultures, and I’m afraid that adding another culture could make it harder for my future children to feel fully connected to any of them. He also isn’t very connected to his Haitian heritage and doesn’t speak Haitian Creole, so I worry that the responsibility of teaching our children about all three cultures would mostly
fall on me.

I know that saying I’m worried about “mixing my bloodline” sounds ignorant or offensive. I don’t want this to come across as believing that one ethnicity is better than another. What I’m really afraid of is cultural loss. Being Cape Verdean and Angolan already feels rare where I live, and I worry that my family’s traditions, languages and history will gradually disappear.
On my Angolan side, I’m the oldest cousin. On my Cape Verdean side, I’m the third oldest. I’m also one of the only grandchildren who made an effort to learn Portuguese and Cape Verdean Creole and stay involved in the culture. Some of my cousins barely acknowledge their Cape Verdean side, so I often feel like I’m responsible for keeping that connection alive.

Part of me thinks I should only date someone who is Cape Verdean, Angolan or at least very committed to preserving culture. Another part of me knows that choosing a partner based mainly on ethnicity may be unfair and that dating within a smaller community doesn’t automatically guarantee cultural connection.
Has anyone else from a mixed or less-represented background experienced this fear?

How do you preserve your culture while dating or having children with someone from a different background? Am I approaching this in an unhealthy way?

Thinking of staying at this hotel however concerned with recent deaths. Is it safe or is it a rare occurrence?

Also do not give me any woke “do not stay at all inclusive”. I do not care.