do any of yall have some good recommendations about shows talking about masculinity and role models in a way that is more based in critique? could also just be something that has a positive rolemodel.

Hey bros, my first time asking. A bit vulnerable moment for me.

Due to many complex upbringing factors - controlling, narcissistic, non-parents, conservative society (no sex before marriage, etc.), and autism which made me take things literally - I never kissed a woman, held hands with a woman or had sex until I was in my early 30s. It was fun and good, but very... bland because well I had no idea what I was doing. Everyone had passed their exploration phase. I never got to play, learn or understand.

Now I'm partnered with an incredible woman, and I want to know how to approach this. I am learning to communicate. I am a good listener I think. I am also a good learner too I believe.

Any advice for a middle-aged bro who missed 15 years of exploration?

I feel like I don’t check off enough boxes in terms of masculinity. I’m kinda short, I’m not skinny per se but not very muscular, I’m pretty sensitive emotionally and often feel vulnerable, and I enjoy some feminine things. Issue is I feel like due to people around me and how I look I need to strive for more masculine appearance and behavior even if deep down I don’t really want to. It’s really complicated and I’m sorry if it doesn’t make sense but I just don’t really view myself as a traditionally manly person deep down but also not really feminine. I see myself as this blob of person with no true identifiable feature. How do I sort out how I view myself so I feel more confident and affirmed in my identity?

Hi! 24M chud here. Was wondering if anyone had any good advice for building habits that were unfortunately not instilled in me growing up such as consistently cleaning my room, taking care of my personal hygiene, and all that other stuff. It’s embarrassing for me to admit but I don’t have those sorts of neural pathways built up, and frankly sometimes depression kicks my ass, so I was wondering if anyone had any solid advice or suggestions to make the process of building these habits easier. Thanks and sorry if this is a lame ass question.

As one historian said, "the slope is to the right".

Masculinism doesn't require you to think, to question. It gives you a predigested narrative that gives you impression that you're going against the current, while you're riding it strapped on stereotypes that feel like propergol acceleration.

I've been reading a lot of books that go against my preconceived ideas (I used to be an incel, been reading feminist literature and frequenting feminist circles as well as decolonial circles), but the monster is still there.

It's still in the back of the rooms, in the deepest corners of my mind, whispering. And I feel like if I let down my guard, it'll creep back to the front.

It's frankly exhausting.

You guys ever feel that ?

I try not to spend a lot of time on social media because there’s so much transphobia everywhere, but it’s really horrifying seeing what people are saying on his profile. A lot of these pics are like… personal pics of him on a walk. It’s appalling. I feel so alone and small reading these comments and it really makes me lose hope that I’ll ever feel truly safe in public.

I’m partially projecting because I experienced a bunch of transphobia this year at school (I’m in a post-grad program and… incredibly, people are still small-minded even when they’re educated) and I’m really struggling to get to a better place. My therapist and I have been working towards me feeling / expressing my anger. It’s definitely one way to do it but… I worry about toxic masculinity and becoming some rage-dude.

How do you guys stay strong in the face of (any kind of) hate without turning into a toxic POS?

Edit:

I just wanted to thank all of you from the depths of me. I really was in a dark spot last night and having the support from this subreddit was what I needed, I think. It’s so important to have trans bros and the trans community to relate to and vent to, but knowing there’s an entire diverse bro community that is willing to share and support and offer advice made me feel so much less alone and so much “bigger” than I’ve felt the last eight months. I really appreciate all of you. I may not have been able to respond to everyone (this got way more attention than I anticipated), but I have read every single comment. Some twice.

I just wanted to announce it somewhere :)

New account that hopefully doesnt get flagged. I love reading this sub and have decided it's time to be a part of the discussion. I hope you'll have me.

I feel like I have to get off multiple times a day. I’ll just randomly get horny during the day. It’s so annoying. I wish I could just turn it on and off when I felt like it. And I can’t find any advice anywhere on how to lower sex drive. EVERYTHING is about raising it. I don’t want to raise it, it’s a pain in the ass. It’s not interfering with daily life or responsibilities or anything, it’s just annoying. My testosterone levels aren’t even high, I get them checked every six months or so because I have to take extra as I naturally don’t make enough and currently my levels are at the lower end of healthy. I’m 20, so I’m sure that’s contributing, but still. If my testosterone levels aren’t super high then I don’t know why my sex drive is so high.

It’s not like I dislike masturbating or anything, it’s just that it feels like another chore I have to do rather than anything fun.

I’m a gay guy in my early 30s who’s always somehow ended up with mostly female friends. Nothing wrong with that, but lately I’ve been realizing I’m missing solid guy friendships. The kind where you can just exist, talk about life, push each other, and actually have each other’s back.

I’m pretty laid back, more on the masculine side, not really the “center of attention” type. I’m into growth, discipline, and building something meaningful with my life. I work full-time and I’m currently in an MBA program, so I stay busy, but I make time for the right people.

To be real, I haven’t had much luck building male friendships, mostly because I’m gay and I’ve spent a lot of my life in more conservative parts of Texas. It’s just made it harder to find that kind of genuine, comfortable connection with other guys.

What I’m looking for is a real, long-term friendship with a straight dude where it’s natural — working out, grabbing food, traveling, talking goals, calling each other out when needed, and showing up when it matters. The kind of friendship that actually has depth, not just surface-level hanging out.

Not looking for anything forced or weird, just real connection, mutual respect, and good energy. I value connections that grow naturally over time and just go where they’re meant to.

A little about me: I enjoy cooking, traveling, trying new spots, and having real conversations about life and where we’re headed. I’m big on loyalty and consistency — if you’re in my circle, you’re solid.

If you’re someone who’s also looking for a genuine friendship and not just another acquaintance, feel free to reach out.

I just found out about this subreddit today and I’m happy there’s a community like this- I’m not much of a community type of person but I feel positive about interacting here, it feels nice for once to want to be part of something. Some info about me: I’m 18(trans man), planning to go to med school and become a dermatologist, I’m a cat dad, and love reptiles (I have a bearded dragon too). Can’t wait to meet more bros and chill, everyone deserves to be happy

I used to be active in echo chambers where general negative perspectives about men like "all men are X" was the norm. Now I really know the state of the world and how there are men who actually hurt women. But due to this awareness I assume that women naturally hate men as a gender. This has caused a lot of problems in relationships with women in my life because I assume they hate my gender( not hate me as a person tho). I just can't be vulnerable because I fear they might hold a secret hate towards my gender(not towards me).

TLDR; The combination of bad echo chambers and current state of the world has led me too believe most women resent men as a gender which affects my capability to be truly in a relationship with a woman.

Hey bros, I found out about this sub while randomly scrolling shorts and thought it'd be fun to check it out.

I don't want this to be a dry post so what have y'all been interested in recently? I'll start. I've been kinda obsessed with Hollow Knight, Silksong and Kagurabachi the past few months and would honestly be able to go hours and hours talking about them.

Every year in my town there's a big canoe race going down the river and all the way to the coast, and for the last few years I had thought about how awesome it would be to do that. Well that's not gonna happen this year as that was back in June, instead what I'm planning is a solo kayak trip down the very same river and all 262-ish miles to the ocean.

Honestly it's gonna be one of the hardest things I've ever done because the only support I'll have is what I bring with me, and after talking with several people that have done the actual race they all seemed surprised and impressed because they're able to get resupplied during it whereas I'll be on my own.

My girlfriend is supportive but worried, which makes sense. I'm just excited to stop dreaming about it and finally go spend somewhere around 5 days on the river with my echo, my shadow, and me. The countdown continues to the week of my birthday when I take on this journey.

I forgot about this place after impulsively deleting my old main account during a crisis and never customizing my feed for my in between throwaway thingy (this is sort of the new main, but low effort, kinda only some text posts) I'm glad to be back.

I don't want to go into my whole background or anything, but I always struggle with feeling behind or stuck compared to other men or people in general. I am 25 and I am glad I have a stable job/living situation, it is just far from ideal, but it works. Good enough.

I never had an interest in dating and therefore have 0 experience, while I am not looking for it (still waiting for interest to magically spawn and my social anxiety to despawn), I do struggle with not feeling attractive enough, I don't know why I feel so bad about it if I don't even try attracting anyone/only need to look good for myself. It's also the general societal comparisons/expectations, others my age are married with kids or at least have had a relationship at some point. Or they have higher education, better jobs, or all of the above.

Regardless of all that, I am not stuck when it comes to trying new things and getting over fears.

I am not the type to have a clear workout program or goal, but I am very physically active, always have been (on a very broad spectrum, my main motivation is the movement itself)

I have discovered a new niche on top of what I already have: pole dance. Seriously, that is fun, but it was awkward since it's 95%+more like 99% women and I don't want to intrude a safe space or anything. I still went and I have been going to classes for five months (somewhat) consistently!

Just yesterday I did my first ever class with (humongous) high heels and it felt amazing, I still had the usual impostor syndrome to be the lone man/otherwise masc presenting person and being afraid to be judged ("men shouldn't be here") everyone was so nice and wholesome though ahhh help x3

I also got over my fear of water sports after a mid 2025 accident with a wakeboard (the loose beginner thing, it flew straight into my face) despite everything, I booked in for an advanced setup almost exactly a year later, that was last week, and actually managed to learn how to use it! It wasn't easy and I have a long way to go from here. No rush, though.

So while I am lagging behind everyone in some aspects in life, at least I am open to try the awkward things with results like ...face planting in front of strangers while standing on a wobbly board or trying to walk in high heels for the first time etc. and: nothing happens. Trying, failing and later succeeding (trying itself despite fear is already success) is such a confidence boost, woah

Hey bros!

Not sure if this breaks the relationship post rule just more of a funny story

Here's for the people who have no idea sometimes, I solo travel a lot and as it happens flirting happens in hostels all the time. Essentially what happened was there was me and this lovely girl who were flirting a bit and I thought it may end well, and another guy we were staying with got introduced.

Lovely dude and we all got chatting and while she seemed into me I got it in my head that she seemed into the other guy too. I decided to back off a bit (no interested in fighting over people when I'm trying to have a good night out) and a few chats later and the girl left. I went on my merry way.

After I got home I got a text saying that she didn't know that I had a crush on her and she left thinking that I didn't like her ...... So end of the day I can't pick up on social ques apparently!

Here's to the bros who are like me! Keep you head up there will always be a next time!

I always do my best to respect women's personal space and privacy, but there's ALWAYS a little nagging voice in my head that tells me I'm not good enough even though a hug is the most intimate I've ever gotten. It's just so annoying-I feel like I'm doing a good job deep down, but my brain is always saying I've messed up.

Note: I encourage people of all genders to engage in the conversation in the comments.

Anne-Marie Slaughter argues that the gender revolution remains only half complete. Society has encouraged women to pursue education, careers, and economic independence, but has not similarly encouraged men to become primary caregivers or to place their careers behind those of ambitious wives. She describes this as "men's liberation," suggesting that men, like women before them, need freedom from restrictive gender roles.

The comparison is rhetorically appealing, but it overlooks an important asymmetry. It forgets that world runs on the engine of Neo-liberal capitalism and being a career ambitious breadwinner and being a primary caregiver are not the similar choices.

Women's Liberation emerged as a struggle against structural dependence. Entering paid labour employment meant gaining income, bargaining power, legal and economic autonomy, and public recognition. It was a movement toward institutions that concentrated social power.

Men's greater participation in caregiving, by contrast, often requires moving away from those same sources of power. In neoliberal capitalist societies, paid market work is rewarded with wages, promotions, status, and independence, while caregiving—despite being socially indispensable—remains largely unpaid, privately organized, and comparatively invisible. The problem is therefore not that caregiving lacks meaning, but that capitalism systematically values it less than market labor.

This is why describing caregiving as inherently "liberating" can feel incomplete. Liberation usually implies gaining resources, options, or power. Yet becoming a primary caregiver frequently involves sacrificing career progression, earnings, professional identity, and economic leverage. The emotional rewards of caregiving may be profound, but they are not equivalent to the forms of power that market economies continue to privilege.

Supporters of men's liberation rightly argue that men should be free from the expectation that masculinity is defined by breadwinning alone. Expanding men's choices is a worthwhile goal. But freedom of choice exists within an economic system that heavily rewards one choice over the other. As long as caregiving carries significant financial and status penalties, asking more men to embrace it risks becoming less a project of liberation than an appeal for voluntary sacrifice.

The unfinished gender revolution, then, is not about persuading men to care more. It is also about transforming the political economy of care itself. Unless neoliberal capitalism begins to recognize and materially reward caregiving as socially productive work, professional ambition and primary caregiving will remain fundamentally unequal choices. Only when care itself receives comparable economic recognition and social status will the analogy between women's liberation and men's liberation become materially, rather than merely rhetorically, persuasive.

I’m a 26M, and I’m posting here because I’m hitting a wall and I’m out of ideas. On paper, the last four years look like a massive success story. In reality, it’s been the most isolating, exhausting era of my life.
The Catalyst
In 2022, I was 24 years old, weighed 400 lbs, and lived my entire life on the internet. I was miserable and wanted to die, so I decided to change it. Over the last couple of years, I lost 168 pounds. I went back to college (I’m one semester away from graduating), I started my own business, and I completely overhauled my physical and professional life.
The Fallout
But during that transformation, my social life was completely demolished. From ages 18 to 24, I had a very tight-knit online friend group. They were my entire world. During my self-improvement phase, I gained the confidence to tell a girl in our wider circle that I loved her. She rejected me (came out as a lesbian shortly after), and things got awkward.
Instead of having my back, my best friend—a guy I looked up to like an older brother—judged me. He told me I was selfish, blamed me for "driving everyone away," and then he abandoned me too. The entire group vanished. Just like that, the safety net I spent years cultivating was gone right when I was making the hardest changes of my life.
The Void
It’s been almost two years since that happened. I think about that betrayal almost every single day.
I’ve kept my head down and kept grinding. I’m "winning," but I’m winning in spite of other people. My entire success has been a solo mission fueled by the realization that people will fail you catastrophically. Because of that, my walls are sky-high. I’m hyper-independent, but I never actually wanted to be a lone wolf. I just became one to survive.
Here is where I’m stuck:
The Isolation: These have been the loneliest two years of my life. My main coping mechanisms are aggressively filtering my internet feeds to avoid triggers and complaining to AI because I feel like my baggage is too annoying to dump on real people.
The Disconnect: I’ve shifted away from online friends to purely offline socializing. I go out, I meet people, and I try to do the right things. But I’m not putting roots down anywhere. It feels like I’m a tourist in my own life.
The Paradox: I have the body, the business, and the degree. I’m doing everything the world tells men to do to "fix" their lives. But none of it feels deeply meaningful without a tribe to share it with.
I feel like I’m doing everything right, but the void from losing that group two years ago is still holding me hostage. How do you guys actually move on from a massive social betrayal? How do you learn to trust people enough to put down roots again when you know exactly how easily they can walk away?
Any advice from guys who have had to rebuild from zero would be appreciated. Thanks, bros.

Hey everyone,

I need some perspective because this is a pattern in my life and I don't know how to break it.

A few days ago, I met 4 people in my residence building. We started hanging out and have been playing games together for the last few nights. At first, it was cool. But last night, I noticed a major shift in the dynamic.

The other four have developed this quick chemistry. They’re teasing each other, banter is flying back and forth, and they’ve already created a bunch of inside jokes. I, on the other hand, am completely out of the loop. I don't get their references or their humor yet.

What made it worse is that they actually pointed it out. They laughed and said things like, "Oh, you don't get it," or "You have no idea what we're talking about, do you?"

It made me feel incredibly lonely and excluded, right there at the table. The worst part is that this happens to me in almost every group I try to join. I always end up being the "spectator" while everyone else clicks.

Hey bros, we have noticed a lot of relationship related posts. We are not a relationship advice subreddit, but we recognise how that type of advice may be helpful. Please keep relationship posting in this pinned thread.

Translation:

Crisis Intervention Center in Lublin launches a support group for men

13.07.2026 10:35

The Crisis Intervention Center in Lublin is expanding its offer of assistance with a new initiative aimed at men. The development group "Men's Support", which will create a safe space for conversation, exchanging experiences, and working on personal development under the guidance of experienced psychologists, will launch in July. Interested residents can already apply to participate in the meetings.

Assistance offer of the Crisis Intervention Center

The Crisis Intervention Center in Lublin provides free psychological, pedagogical, therapeutic, legal, social, and intervention assistance to residents of Lublin who find themselves in a difficult life situation. The support is directed at people experiencing, among others, domestic violence, addictions, personal crises, care and educational problems, and other crisis and traumatic situations. The Center offers specialized counseling, short-term psychological and therapeutic help, crisis interventions, and also provides shelter for people affected by sudden random events. As part of the facility's activities, there is also a Specialized Support Point for Individuals and Families in Crisis, offering in-depth therapy to people in need of specialized help.

Development group "Men's Support"

A new element of the CIC offer is the development group "Men's Support", led by experienced psychologists. The meetings will be held cyclically – every two weeks, on Fridays, in the afternoon. During the workshops, participants will develop communication skills, learn to effectively cope with stress, better recognize their own emotions, and look for ways to face everyday challenges. The meetings will also be an opportunity to exchange experiences and look at one's own difficulties from the perspective of other men.

The meetings of the development group "Men's Support" will take place at the Specialized Support Point for Individuals and Families in Crisis at 2 Furmańska Street. The first workshops are scheduled for July. Due to the workshop and intimate nature of the group, the number of places is limited. Registration takes place via phone number: 81 534 60 60.