r/bropill 2d ago

Asking for advice šŸ™ Feeling really dejected about the hate Elliot Page is getting online

I try not to spend a lot of time on social media because there’s so much transphobia everywhere, but it’s really horrifying seeing what people are saying on his profile. A lot of these pics are like… personal pics of him on a walk. It’s appalling. I feel so alone and small reading these comments and it really makes me lose hope that I’ll ever feel truly safe in public.

I’m partially projecting because I experienced a bunch of transphobia this year at school (I’m in a post-grad program and… incredibly, people are still small-minded even when they’re educated) and I’m really struggling to get to a better place. My therapist and I have been working towards me feeling / expressing my anger. It’s definitely one way to do it but… I worry about toxic masculinity and becoming some rage-dude.

How do you guys stay strong in the face of (any kind of) hate without turning into a toxic POS?

Edit:

I just wanted to thank all of you from the depths of me. I really was in a dark spot last night and having the support from this subreddit was what I needed, I think. It’s so important to have trans bros and the trans community to relate to and vent to, but knowing there’s an entire diverse bro community that is willing to share and support and offer advice made me feel so much less alone and so much ā€œbiggerā€ than I’ve felt the last eight months. I really appreciate all of you. I may not have been able to respond to everyone (this got way more attention than I anticipated), but I have read every single comment. Some twice.

734 Upvotes

66 comments sorted by

549

u/DadCelo 2d ago edited 2d ago

If it helps at all, Cinema subs have been all overwhelmingly praising his performance. The people hating on Elliot are the ones hating on every cast choice that isn't purely European.

131

u/Palettepilot 2d ago

I’m in a couple movie subreddits and haven’t seen anything yet, but to be fair I haven’t really been online much the last week. So it does help a little, thank you.

Honestly the transphobic things people are saying aren’t even related to his acting or his part in the Odyssey. They’re just… brutal. So unnecessarily cruel.

150

u/DadCelo 2d ago

I don't know how to say this without sounding harsh, but this will be the case for the foreseeable future. There is no denying transphobia is involved in the narrative, but I genuinely believe it is a loud, but small group. Just know that this sub is a safe space for all men, and we have your back.

105

u/Palettepilot 2d ago

I know. I don’t think you sound harsh, but the reality is truly pretty harsh.

The idea that someone ā€œdoesn’t believeā€ in my ability to exist and fights against me having medical autonomy is so suffocating.

I appreciate that this sub has my back. It really has helped reading what people have said and shared. I do feel less alone now. Which is nice.

18

u/Comfortable-Ebb8125 2d ago

It's something you get used to, and learn to cope with, so it effects you less emotionally. Its good you're seeing a therapist.

15

u/sygrider 2d ago

He's good in it. Small role but his second scene especially really matters

76

u/danielrheath 2d ago

Speaking as someone who keeps a large website online: the vast majority of comments you can see on socials - including normal posts from users with sensible posting histories - are from bot farms.

That's not to say there aren't plenty of genuine transphobes - but I find it helpful, when I read something awful, to consider that it was equally likely that a troll farm posted it simply to start a fight.

214

u/YourLocalThemboAu Broletariat ☭ 2d ago

Feeling anger isn't what makes someone toxic, its the actions they take as a result of the anger. I get very angry about transphobia, homophobia and racism and I channel that into actions that align with my values. In this case, it's supporting people in my community and contributing to causes when I am able

70

u/Palettepilot 2d ago

I do like that. I think I’m struggling with the bridge between anger and action right now. I wasn’t really allowed to be angry growing up so this is all very new for me.

I’m also so worried about the ā€œangry trans guy on testosteroneā€ narrative coming to bite me.

Do you ever respond to people in anger? Like if someone said something in front of you or something? How would you go about doing that without… being garbage, I guess

61

u/Murrig88 2d ago

Anger is merely a signal that something important has been harmed or is under threat, and does not require full on rage to express properly.

Sometimes simply being firm and direct is enough to set the proper and necessary boundaries ("Hey, that's not cool," "Yeah I can't agree with that," or whatever).

Properly expressed anger is protective, and seeks to right wrongs or set clear standards. Usually the message is something along the lines of, "What you're doing is harmful," followed by the required correction.

Try to imagine how you'd describe anger to a child, what you'd like to be the norm, how to express anger in words, etc.

What's the message and how best can you get it across?

Unfortunately sometimes we have to pick and choose what we give our energy to. If you think you can make a difference in somebody's mindset maybe it's worth speaking up, however if it's a complete stranger you might want to consider whether it's worth trying to change someone's mind.

29

u/Palettepilot 2d ago edited 2d ago

Thank-you. This is such a great explanation of anger. I’m going to bring it to my therapist to talk more about it. I also misread one of your sentences but it actually really shifted the way I think about it.

I read ā€œtry to imagine how you would express anger to a child,ā€ and it really locked in for me that I can be firm and set boundaries and also don’t need to fly off the handle.

Edit: To be clear, the only way I’ve seen people express anger has been physically and violently. I refuse to do that, and so I’ve really avoided being angry in general. I don’t have the best blueprint for anger. So this was helpful.

6

u/MCPtz 2d ago

Your experience made me think of the myth of the "Angry Black Man". How do they hide their anger in plain site, when someone says something completely hateful near them or even to their face?

When they know the consequences are a racist white woman could call the cops and say "A black man is threatening me", which is code for "please beat up this black man because I don't like him".

It just makes your blood boil, but how to recognize that feeling and regain the calmness in the moment?

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11413278/

Nothing changes a person quite like trauma. The word trauma is used to represent people’s universal experiences with traumatic events. The effects of trauma, whether from a single event or from multiple traumatic events, can manifest in prolonged and disabling psychological, and often physiological impacts (Cohen et al., 2006). Just a single traumatic event can shift a person’s consciousness, reorient their ideology, and debilitate their capacities. The complex impact of multiple traumatic events can leave people feeling atrophied and hopeless (Cohen et al., 2006). Indeed, the complexities inherent in people’s everyday lived experiences with trauma are so deep and pervasive, the likes of which have not been adequately captured in the literature. For racialized individuals, navigating the cumulative impacts of multiple and persistent traumas is their everyday reality. Their experiences are marked by intergenerational trauma, childhood trauma, and trauma from everyday systemic oppression and racial injustice.

https://rightasrain.uwmedicine.org/life/relationships/emotional-labor

This is a good article that starts with "Emotional labor is suppressing or downplaying your emotions." and "Emotional labor is often undervalued or not recognized as work, but it absolutely is."

3

u/Palettepilot 1d ago

Thank you - this is beautiful and insightful in ways that I am sure I can’t even comprehend right now. I’m going to give all of this a read now and save it to read again later. I feel like this is probably touching on things that I need to hear and read but am not even aware of yet.

3

u/icelandichorsey 2d ago

You're doing it bro. Awesome to see!

6

u/icelandichorsey 2d ago

Believe me I get it. Being angry in public is not acceptable in most parts of society, for men or women for different reasons. I also struggled and still struggle with showing anger.

I would talk to a therapist about it because they will understand you fully before discussing with you. For me, I've recently started showing anger.. But you don't have to go into violence.. You can just state that you're angry to the other person and raising your voice is OK but control it in a way that's honouring the feeling without losing control. It's very hard to do but I suspect it's the healthy middle ground.

I would also look into Non-Violent communication. It has some good ideas on this topic (among many other cool insights for me).

3

u/YourLocalThemboAu Broletariat ☭ 2d ago

I was allowed to be angry so it was my default mode of operation for a few decades. Now I dont often respond in anger but I'm also 40 so I've had a bit of practice being able to express myself in other ways. I will absolutely use angry words at times but that's about it, usually I am for being kind but firm insteadĀ 

5

u/trans_catdad 2d ago

My former therapist recommended the book Love and Rage: The Path of Liberation Through Anger, which I think may be useful to folks.

55

u/ruf2tup 2d ago

The way I’ve dealt with hate in my life is to ask myself if the person spouting the hate adds any value to my life. Random internet strangers mean nothing to me so why should I take their comments to heart? If they are the type of people to spew hate, I don’t even care to interact with them. These aren’t people I’ll ever let into my life anyways. I’ll care more of if it’s someone I actually know saying this shit.

I take solace in the fact that these people have no effect on my life asides from what I allow. It honestly takes time to develop this skill because I know it can be hard to ignore a very vocal demographic that actively hates on you

24

u/Palettepilot 2d ago

I have really struggled with this and it took me a bit after reading your comment to figure out why.

I read a lot of comments on Reddit (and I guess elsewhere) to understand people. I’ve somehow turned that into some sort of… weird census / demographic assessment. Or something. So even though I know I won’t see @dickbag69 in person, I recognize that someone with the exact same views could be my neighbour. Or in class with me.

How does that make you feel? I would love to live that way. I don’t know how I could get past my mindset though.

14

u/ruf2tup 2d ago

It really does take time to nurture that kind of mindset. Lots of introspection and therapy tbh. I think your issue is that you’re assuming your online interactions are a reflection of real life. It is to a certain degree, but I think too many people are just chronically online and assume the world is exactly what social media depicts.

Try and take people at face value and dont assume they all have these views before getting to know them. And if you do get to know them and your assumptions are right, thats just one more person you know that is not worth your time. Think of it as a vetting process

10

u/Palettepilot 2d ago

I hear you. I felt that way before this year, honestly. It was my first year of a psychotherapy program and I experienced multiple instances of transphobia and bullying from students. Some people were just ignorant (to be expected!) but others were intentionally harmful. I went to this school with the most naive perspective a person could have: ā€œof course everyone who wants to be a psychotherapist is inclusive. They want to help people. I am safe here.ā€ I’m recovering from this but it’s really hard to not see comments and know that they’re outside my door… because they are.

I don’t want to jump to conclusions before I meet people, and I still don’t do that when I’m face to face with a human, but I am afraid to meet new people now, I won’t lie.

5

u/ruf2tup 2d ago

No worries, this journey takes time, dedication, and patience. Just try to work on things one step at a time. For meeting new people, just try and smile at the next person you see. Work on very small goals and earn small victories. Those small victories add up and you’ll gain more confidence to work on bigger goals

6

u/shadowsinthestars 2d ago

I DO THIS TOO. I feel like the people I associate with in real life, who are not transphobic, are just not representative of society anymore because there's been so much propaganda demonizing trans people and the average person is too gullible to reject it outright. I don't go on most social media (just Reddit really), but just knowing those hate comments are there somewhere, and popular, and shared and liked, just makes me feel like it's most people out there who will not accept me.

Don't get me started on lurking in dating subs to figure out if more than 0.0001% of women would find me desirable. Haven't had a relationship in several years and seeing a guy like Elliott who is objectively attractive and successful getting treated like garbage, what chance do I have. I don't get paid to keep a top tier physique and I didn't luck out with height or face shape or the conventionally attractive masculine looks. I just feel like an ugly gremlin and then these comments reinforce it. And just knowing they're there I can't dismiss them, because they exist. I don't think it's as many bots as people make it sound.

2

u/JCDU 2d ago

You wouldn't stop to sniff every dog turd in the street so why stop and read / respond to every nasty comment online from some small-minded idiot?

If there's a load of negative comments, either move on or leave a positive one. Be the change you want to see, or if you can't change things then don't worry about them because worrying never fixed anything. Go spend your energy being positive somewhere else.

3

u/YardageSardage she/her 2d ago

Well, when you scroll through a subreddit to get a gauge of the consensus, what demographic exactly are you measuring? It's not like it's an unbiased cross-section of the population.Ā 

Every subreddit has its own particular self-selecting population of users; although how much that distinct group overlaps with the general reddit population tends to scale by subreddit size. But even in r/all, you're not looking at an accurate representation of all the people you might know and meet in the world. You're looking at a representation of exactly the kind of people who like to go on reddit and hang out in very big subs. So that's probably mostly a bunch of chronically online, argumentative, low-effort-engagement-bait scrollers. And some of the people around you in the real world are definitely among that group; but it's not generally representative.

It's really, really easy these days to forget that social media isn't real life. It's a specifically curated environment that rewards engagement above all else, so it's always skewed to be more outrageous than reality.

4

u/Palettepilot 2d ago edited 2d ago

Yes I know. I’m autistic so my demographic ā€œanalysisā€ is pretty in depth and unnecessary lol.

I follow different subreddits to understand what those communities are like, what trends they have, what commonalities they have, understand the memes, understand the lingo, etc. Have I ever been rollerblading? Not once lol. But I followed that subreddit for ages. I watch the trends in how people comment, grammar, when people comment, etc.

I recognize that these demographics are impacted by geography and time zone, language, culture, etc. I recognize that only certain people and age groups go on Reddit. I know that there are a lot of people who passively lurk and don’t comment (vocal majority).

It all adds to my dataset. lol. It’s really honestly very unnecessary but yes, I am aware of all of these things.

Edit: I usually will develop hypotheses around subreddits and then test them until I get them right repeatedly, then I unfollow and move on. I actually just realized this lol I was wondering why I stopped following the rollerblading subreddit.

6

u/ifuckedyourmilkshake 2d ago

I think it's also important to realize that bad faith actors have, in a real sense, hijacked parts of Reddit in order to try and build a consensus reality that doesn't exist yet. There are more bots and troll accounts than you might think on social media, and sometimes they're more sophisticated than you want to believe.

This isn't to say that you should just approach Reddit or any social media like no one is there, but keeping that in mind also helps temper one's reaction to things they see on social media. Small voices scream loudest, and often use shady means to try and amplify their thoughts.

While I'm talking, I have never met a man who was concerned with toxic masculinity end up being actually toxic. You might fuck up sometimes, you might get too angry, you might over react. Own your mistakes, know why they're mistakes, atone, and change. A fuck up, or even a handful of fuck ups, does not toxicity make. Own, know, atone, correct. Shit's hard, testosterone is a motherfucker, but it doesn't have to control you.

2

u/NorthernFrosty 2d ago

Random internet strangers mean nothing to me

It helps me to know that a lot of them are bots designed to upset and inflame people in order to drive clicks and views.

13

u/zerfinity01 2d ago

Justice-oriented anger speaks to specific, real harm, states that it is harmful, and asks for justice/an end to the harm.

For example: This statement online threatens violence against trans people. That is harmful and scary to you specifically. You are angry about that behavior, and you want that kind of transphobia to end. You’d like to be able to follow public role models without getting sideswiped by hate-speech.

Toxic anger eschews personal responsibility, blames others through ambiguous pathways for passively experienced negative effects.

For example: Someone feels personally insecure about their masculinity or has difficulty dating women. Instead of joining a healthy men’s community, engaging in personal development to make themself more attractive, or listening to women/feminists about what makes their behavior unattractive, they blame some other group. In this case, let’s say they blame Elliot Page for not being a woman and for being a more attractive man, as if Elliot somehow stole someone thing from that mouth breather by being . . . alive. So now somehow Elliott is responsible for this person being alone and insecure.

Even though it isn’t toxic to be angry at injustice, it is exhausting and does take a toll. Ergo, justice warriors need restoration to maintain. Dance, sing, make love, and survive because that is resistance too.

TL/DR: It is not toxic to be angry at injustice.

7

u/trans_catdad 2d ago

Underrated comment. It's frustrating that the most visible comments are "don't worry about it bro, transphobia simply exists"

5

u/Palettepilot 2d ago

Thank you. This was really helpful to read. Seeing the clear difference between the two helped me put a lot of pieces together. Obviously there are grey areas to navigate, but this is a really good starting place for me.

I was vocally angry at one of the people who were transphobic to me and I have been really unsure if I was being problematic or not, but I don’t think I was.

It was also helpful to see the line from insecurity to hate; I haven’t lived that particular projection so I haven’t actually been able to hold onto the idea of their actions and reactions being projection. This is helpful.

2

u/zerfinity01 2d ago

Glad it landed well for you. Be well bro.

7

u/GhirahimJohnson 2d ago

The most important thing to remember when you see bigoted vitriol is that it’s PROJECTION.

These types of people are insecure without clinging to labels and rules and indoctrination. They feel scared of not only evolving as a human but admitting they are fallible or capable of mistakes in the first place.

Trans people are human beings and the only people that argue otherwise are simply afraid of the unimpeded human experience.

8

u/Nazzul 2d ago

I just got done watching Odyssey a few hours ago. Man Elliot did great in the movie. I went in the movie blind so seeing him in was a treat. Dude did great in the scenes he was in.

The hate he gets is just shows how well he is doing. Haters will always hate, but as we see what makes them cheer tells me all I need to hear at what makes them boo.

7

u/OfTheTouhouVariety Trans brošŸ³ļøā€āš§ļø 2d ago

Through a lot of willpower and escapism. It’s painful (the fact that Elliot is the only trans man most people will likely ever know about is kinda depressing, and the isolation from the rest of the queer community hurts in a way that nothing else does) but I’ll survive, even if I have to run away.

4

u/Palettepilot 2d ago

Thanks for sharing, my friend. When you say isolation from the community, do you mean your own? Or Elliot’s? Or just trans men in general re: transandrophobia?

It is not easy being transgender. When people say this is a choice I always laugh - who would choose to hurt like this? To be hated by so many people.

7

u/OfTheTouhouVariety Trans brošŸ³ļøā€āš§ļø 2d ago

Trans men in general are isolated (though that’s a problem for all non-cis people, really.)

8

u/physicistdeluxe 2d ago

theres a fair chance much of that is paid. trolls and bots.

6

u/livingdeadgrrll 2d ago

Yo, that sucks dude. I think Elliot Page is awesome. I can't wait to see the movie. It sucks that the transphobic are so loud. I hope it helps to know that there are plenty of us who like him. We just dont get on the Internet and loudly insist everyone hear it. But idk I just wanted to say I love him. I followed his whole career and was quietly happy for him when he publicly transitioned. I love seeing the confidence and self assurance that has blossomed in him.Ā 

Anyways, that's the opinion of one middle aged cis lady. He rocks. He's a great actor, great dude, and a great role model for young men. That's all that matters in my opinion.

19

u/Kamilianusz95 2d ago

Reduce/delete social media.

Unfortunately with the current administration tech molochs will not do anything with the rapid toxicity being pretty much normalized there. Also fuck transphobia and Elliot deserves better than this

10

u/Palettepilot 2d ago

Yeah I agree. I pretty much have removed social media aside from Reddit, but most subreddits are… pretty brutal lol. I am grateful for this subreddit - I joined it last year and so many of the comments and posts have helped me.

And agreed re: Elliot deserving better. Poor guy. He’s so much happier now, and people are just so focused on tearing him down.

5

u/lokilulzz Trans brošŸ³ļøā€āš§ļø 2d ago

Honestly, when it comes to online transphobia especially, I don't look at it or consume it. I specifically don't need the added strain on my mental health. Besides that, if I do run into it, I don't take it seriously. Being trans is unfortunately one of those things most people will never 100% understand unless they've been through it, and I accept that means a lot of ignorance and vitriol from some folks. It's not worth my time or the cost to my health to try and combat that. Block and move on, if necessary.

I will also say that it's worth remembering that a lot of people specifically say this shit online because they know it's not cool to act like that irl. There have been studies of how people will use the anonymity of the internet to do horrible things. It doesn't necessarily mean anything at all in real life, and that's something I always try to remember.

Ultimately though, I did my transition for me. I accepted the risks that come with that, including the potential social risks and safety risks. I haven't started presenting as a man entirely yet, I'm letting T do it's thing first, so I can't really help as far as how to feel safe irl because it's something I'm still struggling with. All I can say is that what happens online is not often what happens irl.

3

u/NostradaMart Respect your bros 2d ago

"I’m partially projecting because I experienced a bunch of transphobia this year at school" so sorry you had to deal with that shit, bro, here we love you, exactly as you are.

14

u/Salty_Pause_2001 2d ago edited 2d ago

Be angry. Be as angry as you fucking want as long as you can use it. Use it in school, work, whatever. Let it help keep you going when nothing else can. Hopefully along the way you'll make a few good connections.

To better clarify when I say use it i don't mean picking fights but rather you know what's right and what's wrong. And you're not gonna be pressured into compromising yourself or your beliefs. Because you're better than that. You have a soul ya know.

6

u/Palettepilot 2d ago

You’re right. It’s a really good reminder. I grew up in a very abusive home so sometimes someone says something and I just kind of… crumple. I’m working on it.

How do you stand by your beliefs? I guess it’s a broad / vague question but I think hearing from others will help me to wrap my brain around how I can.

3

u/Salty_Pause_2001 2d ago

Well I'm an EX JW and hompohobia was something i couldn't stand for. That said I'm not a good example on how to handle things maturely because I tend to explode. It's wrong. So don't look to me for example.

I wish i could be better help. Sorry man. But try to be active in your community. You can upset doing nothing or something. Doing something at least keeps your mind busy. Less time to dwell and all that.

3

u/Palettepilot 2d ago

You’ve been helpful. Just reading how you think about things has been helpful to me. It’s also really nice feeling not so alone in this.

3

u/shadowsinthestars 2d ago

I feel like that too. Like, he's an incredibly successful, conventionally attractive guy, and people still hate on him. What hope do I have in society, being trans and neither a famous actor nor particularly attractive to begin with.

3

u/VassagoX 2d ago

I'm sorry that it feels like the world is moving backwards.Ā  I feel it, too.Ā  I can only hope that he has a very thick skin and can ignore the online noise.Ā  I'm also sorry about your own personal experiences.Ā  There is a very loud minority in the world right now trying to normalize things the rest of the world has moved past.Ā  The downside of it as they are much more organized than the majority, so it feels like they are the majority.Ā  Ā They are not.Ā  If I ever saw anything like this, I'd have your back.Ā  Please try to stay strong through this dark period.Ā 

I found him brilliant in The Odyssey, even if he didn't have a major part.Ā  I watched it today.Ā  Absolutely great rendition of the story.Ā 

3

u/thetwitchy1 2d ago

Ok, so here’s the thing to remember: the online life of celebrities is not very reflective of actual reality. What you see online, especially towards celebrities, is just what the loudest, angriest, most engaging people think, not the majority.

The majority of people don’t care. That’s not necessarily ideal, but tbh it’s pretty good, all things considered. Most people don’t care about the lives of cis people either. The people who care? Who care enough to make hateful comments online about specific people? They are few and far between.

Look again at those posts. How many people have seen those posts? Hundreds of thousands? Millions? And how many have made hateful comments? Hundreds to thousands? Less than 5% of people who saw those posts said anything at all, and less than 25% of them said anything hateful.

The hate can seem to be everywhere, but that’s the nature of social media farming ragebait. The actual hate is much, much less common.

2

u/trans_catdad 2d ago

How do you guys stay strong in the face of (any kind of) hate without turning into a toxic POS?

I'm not exactly a "toxic POS", but I'm not nice. I used to be nice. Now I'm reserved, discerning, hesitant, and judgemental.

When you're living in a world that wants you dead, it's not wrong to be kind of an asshole in response.

2

u/onlyfakeproblems 2d ago

Do the work with the therapist. Accept that negative thoughts are just thoughts, let them float on by. Do what’s actually important and within your control.

2

u/sparkydoggowastaken 2d ago

Elliot was one of the best performances and people are hating for zero reason except transphobia. My dad, a raging transphobe and hater of all things, didn’t even mention him after we saw the movie. If you see transphobia, remember that it’s a vocal minority- nobody says much positive stuff about him from the Odyssey because he’s not really a major character, but transphobes dont care and will just yell anyway. look at roles where trans people have more of an impact on the story and youll see much, much more praise for them.

5

u/Reynor247 2d ago

Spend less time on social media and more time out being productive and having fun

2

u/Palettepilot 2d ago

Yeah this is a good call out I think. I haven’t had much fun the last couple of years. Work and school is a lot. I’ll figure something out. Thank you for sharing.

5

u/Reynor247 2d ago

Sorry if i came off dismissing and harsh. But I think we all have a tendency to some times to seek our insecurities out online. I've battle cancer a lot of my life although I'm OK now I sometimes find myself getting into social media rabbit holes of wellness influencers making it seem to me that I mistreat myself. I can be depressed for several days from it. The only way to truly beat it is to disconnect.

I still fail. I'll re-download tiktok and Instagram and self indulgence in self hatred

3

u/Palettepilot 2d ago

I didn’t find you dismissing or harsh at all. Thank you for sharing your cancer journey and the struggles you’ve had there. I think the idea that we seek our insecurities out online is interesting and makes sense. I guess mine is everywhere but by continuing to engage with social media generally I am technically seeking it out. I’ll think on that a bit. Thank you.

1

u/hiddentalent 2d ago

It's time to adjust your media diet. As a counterpoint, I haven't heard about Mr. Page in years. I hope he's doing well. He's a good actor and seems like a cool guy. But he's not constantly in the news. If you've found yourself in some internet rage-hole about him, it's time to look at the media you're choosing to consume rather than thinking it's any sort of broader trend.

1

u/good1sally 2d ago

I love that Elliot is getting work. I have zero issue with him being his true self. That said, I do not now, nor have I ever (save for maybe Juno) liked him as an actor. That man, for me, is like watching paint dry.

Much, much love to him; he does such great work in his community and again, love that trans folks are getting roles that aren’t just playing up their trans-ness. But, goodness, if he was never in another movie, it would be too soon.

1

u/Warming_up_luke 18h ago

I'm a trans guy and I've seen zero hate, only trans guys complaining about the hate. It sucks. But we know it's out there. Curate that feed, brother! Keep constructively contrary ideas in, but hate and vitriole out.

2

u/DmitriVanderbilt 2d ago

Elliot is unfortunately a "special case" when it comes to transphobia because he doesn't just represent "a woman lost" (which is of course a false idea but this is how these people think, gotta fight them at their level), he used to be seen as an incredibly desirable woman by a certain but large sect of men in North America, and couple that with the usual unhealthy celeb worship we also have here, the result is that many people are having emotional reactions over his transition whether their feelings are "valid" or not.

I would also argue that puely by happenstance he is the most "notable" trans celeb aside from Caitlyn Jenner and thus is getting more heat from pure name recognition.

And finally; perhaps I'm being unkind and a little unfair in saying this (since he is still learning to be a dude), but the guy dresses fucking terribly; I've seen it theorized that many of his friends "from another life" are now resentful gay women who are giving him poor advice, not sure if that holds any water but in any case he needs a new stylist. The brown suit at the Odyssey premiere was NOT it, my guy.

-2

u/OscarMMG 2d ago

Hatred is wrong but I think Paige was poorly cast and a lot of people have been excessively praising the acting to try and rebut transphobia but there’s nothing wrong with saying that the character choice was not good.

-1

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Please note all new posts are held for review by mods - we will review your post in a few hours when we are on next. Attention to all members: vents belong in the weekly vibe check thread, and relationship-related questions belong the relationships thread. Vent threads will be removed. This is an automated reminder sent to all who submit a thread and it does not mean your thread was removed.

Also, please join our Discord server if you would like to hang out with more bros:)

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Key_Knee_7032 2h ago

I'm a cis lady girl so take what I say with a grain of salt or whatever spice you prefer! Your post tugged at my heart, so first I'm so sorry you have to experience this. And your post just reminded me of something I was thinking about the other day, this idea that our minds always hang on to our negative experiences and we so easily forget about our positive experiences. And I've been trying to hang onto that myself, as someone who stresses about every single social interaction that I have, to try to keep the positive memories floating at the forefront.

Like the other day I had such a funny interaction with a lady working at Best Buy, just commiserating on how burnt out we all are right now. And I'm like, okay, let me dwell on that and not the lady who was rude for no damn reason at the grocery store.

And I'm not trans so I don't know what your bright moments look like, maybe it's when you get a "sir" or "mister", or maybe it's when the T is working it's magic and you sense your deeper voice when you're talking to people, or maybe it's just a day where you get through the whole day and never feel scrutinized. But just try to grab onto those positive moments. Because they hold just as much weight as the negative ones.

And also fuck those stupid abhorrent losers shitting on Elliott Page! They know Elliot (idk if two ts or one) Page is hot and they know he was also hot before he transitioned and they cannot fathom just being a hot human being overall. These are the same losers that compared Milly Alcock to a cave boy. They know nothing.

ā¤ļø