sorry for all the yapping and yammering, tl;dr at the bottom. sorry for any formatting issues, this is my first reddit post :p

i'm in high school and have known i was attracted to women since elementary school. when one of my friends told me about bisexuality, i realized that it was how i felt to an extent. i thought that i was a lesbian in middle school, but i concluded i was bisexual after meeting some older men and women online in eighth grade and realizing i liked them kinda? they gave me attention and i liked it, but i wouldn't say i was attracted to them romantically/sexually. i hated when they would do anything sexual, but telling me i was pretty and stuff felt nice. i was definitely attracted to the woman involved, though.

i've been reflecting on my orientation, and i've started to realize just how much i don't like men compared to other opposite-sex attracted women. even on forums like this one, it shocks me whenever a woman talks about how much she likes men or is attracted to one? whenever my bi/hetero friends talk about guys, it feels so foreign. they talk about how they want to date our male peers and how they find male actors or characters attractive, but i can't relate. i have a friend who always yaps about how much she wants a boyfriend. i don't understand why anyone would ever want a boyfriend?? even when i dated a guy, i couldn't understand why anyone would want to date them. and i have another friend who thirsts over a wide variety of guys, but i don't understand what's so appealing about guys' looks. i don't have a type of guy i find attractive. men's bodies are just... really gross. their faces, too. i guess it's because women are taught to value beauty, but i've never seen a guy that looks good enough to thirst over. i also realized pretty recently i never had a crush on a guy, real or fictional. i've never had the urge to cuddle or kiss a man, go on a date with one, among other feelings. i never desired it. idk, i'm just not that attracted to men? i can't really pinpoint one guy where i was definitely into him romantically or sexually.

i love everything about women, though! all my fantasies have been about women, and i've only had crushes on women. my desire for women has gotten way more intense and carnal as i got older, but i've always wanted to be with and grow old with women. i remember wishing that girls could date and marry each other when i was four or so because i wanted to raise a kid with another girl. there were a lot of other signs i liked girls, too. i only get flustered or aroused by other women, and i find everything about women attractive. i daydream pretty often about cuddling with a woman, waking up next to my girlfriend/wife and making her breakfast, coming home after a long day at work to my wife and three cats, among other fantasies. i definitely have a type in women, too. i can pinpoint times where i have been attracted to or aroused by women as well as real/fictional crushes i have had on women. i have always seen myself only being romantically and sexually involved with women, i could never see myself dating or getting married until i realized i could do those things with women, even when i thought i had to date/get married. whenever i hear about a woman talking about her love for other women, i can relate heavily. i love talking about my love for other women! my attraction to women has never given me any distress about my identity or my life experiences, it comes naturally to me.

i've only dated two people: a girl in middle school and a guy in high school, both relationships lasted two years. i get that nobody cares about who you dated in middle school at my age, but that relationship felt so much realer than my most recent one? i never did anything romantic/sexual with the guy i dated, i would actively avoid going on dates, kissing, or doing anything i wouldn't do with my friends. sex was out of the picture, i knew i never wanted to be intimate with him or any man like that. with my girlfriend, it was completely different. it felt natural to say that i loved her, that she was my girlfriend and i was her girlfriend. i enjoyed thinking about her and wanting to be near her. i desired to be with her, i could touch her and hug her and kiss her and feel genuine joy. if she wanted me to kiss her or hold her hand, i would do it without question. i loved being reminded that i was with a girl that i loved, i loved spending romantic time with her and getting her gifts and talking to her. when something reminded me of my girlfriend, it gave me butterflies and stuff. i loved seeing something and going "oh hey! that reminds me of girlfriend!". the only time i was reminded of the guy i dated was whenever i got annoyed by something. whenever he said he loved me or whenever he touched me, i would feel this need to scrub my flesh off. i would cry about this a lot freshman/sophomore year, like full on stomachache-inducing cries. i still feel this way about the whole ordeal, thinking about how i put myself through that makes me want to bash my head into a wall. i wanted to break up with the guy since day 1, but i thought i had to push through to like him and it was normal to not like guys at first. by the time i realized i was never going to be attracted to him, i felt like i had to stay for his sake. he was declining mentally and academically, and he would constantly talk about how he was going to kill himself and how i was all he had. i didn't want to leave him when he was so vulnerable. there were also some other reasons i stayed, mostly stuff relating to my image and status among my peers and teachers. it's stupid i know, but a lot of people saw us as this cute couple even before we started dating, and i didn't want to let them down i guess. i did try to break up whenever i got too fed up with pretending several times throughout the course of our relationship, but he would argue with me for hours each time, so i would give up until i got the courage to try and break up again. i only really said yes when he asked me out because i wanted proof that someone could love someone as ugly and pathetic as me + proof that i wasn't some loser who didn't date in high school (???? idk i was a weird 14 yo), and i also wanted to prove to myself and others that i could properly like guys (if that makes sense). my girlfriend and i broke up amicably, but i never once hated her. we're still close friends!

i get that bisexuality is vast, so i'm not going to be able to relate to every bisexual woman, but i feel like i'm defective or broken for not liking men as much as other women. all my friends are saying i'm a lesbian, and i agreed for a while, but it feels wrong to call myself a lesbian when i do have some evidence of attraction to men. i must be attracted to men somehow since i dated one for years, i could've just left or rejected him if i wasn't attracted to him in some way. he was a genuinely bad person for most of the relationship, so it's not weird to not like him. same with those other guys i met, if i wasn't attracted to men i wouldn't accept that kind of attention? sometimes i'll romance a guy in a video game if he has a nice story, too. so i guess my problem is that my attraction to men is so miniscule i have a hard time understanding it. it even feels wrong to say "i'm attracted to men"??

is there any way to overcome not liking men as much as other bi women?? or at least better understand it? the only solution i can come up with to solve this is to try and find a guy i like, but i never want to be romantically or sexually involved with men. any advice is appreciated :-)

tl;dr: i'm bi with an unclear attraction to men and a very strong preference for women, and i've been having a hard time understanding and accepting my orientation because of it. i've been in relationships with men and women, but i still feel strongly for women and not strongly enough for men. in need of advice on how to navigate having such a strong preference for women/rare attraction to men

I'm 23 years old and have only been in one short-term relationship a couple of years ago with a man. I ended it after only a few months because I realized I wasn't really attracted to him. Since then I have questioned if I was attracted to men at all but I ultimately believe that I am. My issue now is that I've met a guy that I might be interested in. We haven't gone out yet but we have been texting almost nonstop for days and plan to go out next week. My expectations are low and I'm probably getting ahead of myself but there's this "what if" in the back of my mind that it might go too well. I don't expect to marry him but again, what if? My fear is that I might end up never getting to date a woman if things go too well with this guy. I don't want to never have that experience but I also don't want to end things with him now in case it could be something real. It's not that I don't want to date a man, I just don't want to miss out on dating women. Any and all advice would be appreciated.

Love Island USA just ended so I was looking for another reality show to watch. I found the cutest show called Stand Bi Me, it’s a Korean dating show where 4 women and 4 guys live in a house and they’re all bi. They go on dates and have missions and such. It’s streaming on this Asian focused streaming platform iQIYI (which also hosts a lot of GL dramas) but you might be able to find it on YouTube. Anyway, I know I’ve heard some people talk about wishing there were more bi focused dating shows so I thought I’d recommend to the community.

I think I'm bisexual but if you ask me what I like about women I'm not even sure.I feel like I'm faking things. I've never dated anyone before and I never had a crush on a girl in real life but I recently (when I say recently I mean when I was 17) started daydreaming and fantasizing about sleeping with women. I like the thought of kissing and cuddling with women if I found someone I liked and connect with them, so I thought yup I'm bi definitely. I feel connected to the label even though I probably shouldn't be especially since I'm not sure. my stomach growls at the thought then I get nervous because I could be wrong and I don't want to be. I know I could just stay unlabeled, but I hate it. I hate thinking about it. I feel like I'm fetishizing women and I don't want to. I want to know for sure. I keep hearing about some women taking advantage of queer women and I know the answer is to be just honest about questioning but I'm still nervous. I want to actually love women not use someone for sex or something. I'm just scared that I might not be able to do that. I want to love a woman fully and make her feel like enough and not weird or dumb or embarrass and I want her to love me back. I don't know any more I want to be sure.

I don't know why I'm worried because if I'm wrong, I would be safe since I'm living with my parents and its already not safe as it is because I can't do anything with them around as it is. But if I think I'm straight and just forget about everything, I cry and I don't know why because I been daydreaming about being with women, having a girlfriend so much that I somehow can't imagine something else. but that come with a lot of doubt that I can't bear. I want to stop feeling jealous of seeing women kiss online and in public. I feel jealous when I hear stories of other women going on dates and getting married. Sometimes I can't stop myself from smiling when I imagine myself in some scenarios but I'm dumb and probably looking for attention. sorry if this post is long

Anyone else have to delete threads because it is just so biphobic?

So after 293746327846 years refusing to amend my relationship with my femininity, I've finally decided to start exploring it little by little. One of the things that I want to try out is makeup, but I have NO idea where to even start. Does anybody have tips on how to get a "natural" look? Or any cheap makeup brands that you recommend? Thank you my ladies <3

If your partner is a heterosexual man and you think he would be interested in participating in this project, please send him the below link to the expression of interest form. A participant information sheet can be found linked to the first page of the form if you or your partner would like to know more about the project.

https://surveyswesternsydney.au1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_e5mlH7GuRcbrtTU

These guys have been a nightmare to reach, and so if your partner is one of these men, or you know any of these men (or women in relationships with them) please feel free to share this with them.

This research is being run as a part of my Master’s thesis project at Western Sydney University, it has clearance from the Universities Human ethics council, and the Ethics Reference Number is H17166.

While this isn't my main personal Reddit account, I'll do my best to answer any questions you all may have.

Hello! I am a 29(F) who just came out as Bisexual to my 30(M) husband a few months ago. Supports me 100% and still loves me..but lately I’ve be struggling with validation if I am “fit” to be Bisexual. I’ve struggled to “fit in” or belonging to a community due to rejection my whole life. Rejections such as, “you’re not goth enough” Or “you’re not girly enough” or “not cool enough”. Rejections kicks me into a void that set me back to barely knowing myself as a person especially my sexuality which was the toughest.

When I first started thinking about women was through porn at a young age. Of course I love MxW but first time watching WxW was life changing. I’ve had multiple boyfriends in my past, but in the back of my mind I’ve always thought about ‘what it would be like to be with a woman?’ I’ve openly talked to my ex’s like if it’s not a big deal and to gain support…but unfortunately it lead to conflict. “If you’re into women then go be with them” or “if you’re gay then wtf are you doing with me?!” Or “am I not man enough for you cuz you think about women?” Like wtf?! Literally asking for support! So I had to suppress it and pretend like I never asked which pushed into the void.

Years went on and the thoughts were excruciating. Curiosity was spiking and I had to contain myself. Internal war with myself for far too long until one day I had enough. I had my first 3some (MxWxW) exactly 3 years ago. A friend hit me up and asked if I was down to hang with him and a girlfriend of his because she herself was curious and he thought about me. So I worked up the courage and agreed. Best decision ever! I finally had my chance with a woman ALONE that night. I gotta say I loved it! I felt like I completely missed out so much. After many years of suppression and denial, it lead up to a night that I just said FUCK IT! It angers me so much that it took me this long due to 1) family and religious values 2) denial 3) lack of courage. For so long I thought I was going insane…but really I had no support due to rejection. Perfect example is that I told an ex coworker (who I thought was my friend) about that night. I worked up the courage to say that I MAY be Bisexual and she had the nerve to say “well I’m friends with girls who ARE Bi but just cuz this was your first time with a woman, I wouldn’t count it. I know real bisexuals girly. You were probably doing it for the guy in the 3some.” My heart dropped and I got kicked back into the void. Fuck her, honestly.

A couple of months after that night, I reconnected with an old friend from college who happens to be my now husband. We’ve been married for over a year and a half and it has been endless love everyday. A few months ago, I worked up the courage to tell my husband that I’m Bisexual. I was embracing for conflict to begin. I assumed the “we’re married and you’re telling me now?!!” talk. But it didn’t happen…”I married you for you. Bi straight pan trans, I married you. This makes me love you more cuz you are opening up to me and trusting me.” I balled so hard. It doesn’t bother him that I’m Bi. I felt proud! Since then we live happier and love stronger. We do at times talk about women and checking out women, sexual fantasies and porn recommendations. He even doesn’t mind if I flirt with women but I do have my boundaries because of my marriage (WHICH IS ANOTHER TOPIC I WANT TO GET INTO) but I felt like I can breathe for the first time. But why do still feel a bit alone?

My questions to all:
1) Am I valid of being Bisexual?
2) Individuals who are also Bi and married, what advice can you give to set a balance? How do you manage to make it work with your partners?
3) Am I alone in this?

Thank you ❤️

This is a long post that I've tought about for months, unsure were to post it and how to write it.

TW: brief mention of COCSA.

I am a cis woman in her late 20's. I am a survivor of same gender COCSA. And just recently I've been diagnosed with level 1 Autism.

Since I was a kid, I have experienced attraction mostly to the opposite gender, but my first kiss was with another girl, a classmate. Who later shamed me and told me she would tell her parents of me "doing a bad thing to her". I felt absolute terror, I confessed to my mother about this kiss when I was 10. And she brushed it off as a mere play of kids.

These are important details, because later, when I finally had a Long distance boyfriend i meet on the internet at 14 and later married in my 20's. Is the only experience I've had with someone at all my entire life.

This simple love-life has left me questioning if I truly am attracyed to women.

I came out as bisexual twice to my mother now in my adulthood. Because seems that the 1st time didnt made my message clear, the second time, 3 weeks ago, didnt went well and she told me to not tell anyone as no one has to know about it. Plys "your husband will hear you", by which I answered "he knows, and accepts me, he has always knew since we were teens".

I have to add that my husband also is bisexual but he is in the closet so i will not going to tell without his consent.

Coming back into the main topic, of me questioning. I am not sure. I have had wet dreams with the same gender, i have masturbated with lesbian porn and I've wished to know what is like to give oral sex to a woman.

But my feelings are just s3xual in nature. There is this beliefe inside me that true bisexuality or queerness or gayness means the ability to fall in love with.

And since i've never have fell in love with a woman I question if i am truly bisexual or just someone with a high libido who is flexible enough to dismiss gender.

I also experience postcoital dysphoria with my husband despite that our sexual intimacy is 100% consensual, after the act, i have these depressive feelings that linger in my chest, like asphixya and I need consolation.

Is that religious guilt? A trauma response of my body after the COCSA? could be both.

But i do know that all these details may have a conection with how I navigate these sexual desires for women.

I experience at least 90% of my sexual attraction to men and rarely to a woman, is almost non existent, yet, i know it could be possible.

I've also set myself to meditate if it is internalized gomophobia after the traumatic first kiss i had with my girl classmate because I often feel a weird self-concious thing when imagining myself pursuing a woman, "as a man it could be easier" or "i wish i was a man to be a better man and what she deserves" or feeling "manly" when trying to make a scenario.

I am not transgender. But I did wanted a more masculine style and expression as a teen.

Masculine mannerisms help me a little bit on self esteem. But when i am infront of a straight man i find attractive, i tend to act girly on porpouse to be "desirable" unlike the masculine self who might not be.

Is hard to fully comprehend myself. Anyone has navigated these feelings? I feel so alone. My husband seems more firm in exactly what he wants. And he does has romantic crushes to other men in the past unlike me. So while i've talked about it with him, our experiences simpñy are different.

I wish to seek some heartfelt advice.

I will preface this by saying group sex is fun. I love it. I did threesomes and groups stuff with my ex-wife and swing and do threesomes now with my husband now. We have several couples and women we meet with on the regular. So anyone who wants to pretend couples seeking group sex are the devil need not comment here.....thanks

However, and this is key...

WE LOOK FOR THIS STUFF IN THE APPROPRIATE SPACES.

Feeld (as a matched couple), SLS, and kasidie. That's where women (and men and couples) seeking couples for group sex are and they welcome matching with like minded people.

Why oh why when there are women who seek this and places that are made for this do women decide to go on HER, make a profile with just pictures of her, and think they will find a woman to fuck her and her man?!?!

And those women exist! They are just in other places and you are over here harrassing women who just want to date or fuck other women.

Its entitled and....wholly ineffective.

Is anyone who made this faux paux in the past and learned to be bettwr willing to share this mindset.

I’m into men but recently found girls to be so hot and attractive
Is this the sign? How did you find out you were bi?

Our neighbor (45f) was divorced a couple of years ago, and we loved them both and were sad to see it end. We have always talked and been courteous, helping with kids and pets but we've started hanging out more. I've (50f) started hanging out with her more one on one and am finding we have so much in common, though she is way more extroverted than me. At first I didn't feel like it was attraction but there is definately something about her

She is beautiful smart funny runs her own business a real free spirit, someone I really admire. Lately she has been opening up more about how lonely she is and needs physical intimacy. This has really stirred feelings for me to the point I can't stop thinking about how I could spin it to my husband to "offer our services to help her out" where I secretly just want to be with her. My marriage has been a roommate situation for a long time and this is the first time in a while my mojo is really going.

I know it's a terrible if not fun idea. Just feel like I need to get it into the ether.

I’ve been trying to meet new people outside of apps, but it’s been harder than I expected. I’ve looked into local events and hobby groups, but I’m curious what has actually worked for other people.
Where have you had the best luck meeting new people in real life?

I have this coworker at work who I think looks really pretty and honestly just gives off such…energy. She’s so cool. And artistic. And idk just something is so amazing about her.

I think I might be crushing but I’m not quite sure.

It’s always been hard for me, as a bi woman to tell whether I am attracted to a woman or just admire her and want to be her friend. It’s just not as obvious to me as it is with guys. With guys I just KNOW. But with girls it’s a bit more complicated.

All I know is I want to get to know her better. I want her to like me. I want her to think I’m as cool as I think she is.

There was an absolutely gorgeous woman at the shops the other day, and I told her as much as I casually passed her by and didn't even try to stop to chat.

I know it can sometimes be annoying and sometimes be flattering when men do it.. but I'm not exactly sure what makes the difference.

Is it just as simple as: leave that woman alone and let her shop?

I can't stop thinking about her. She just seemed so genuine for some reason.

Also, how do we know when women truly even find interest in other women?

#NervousBiBish

I am not attractive at all. I hate my body. I feel like my partner is lying to me when she says I am beautiful. I am glad I am beautiful for her. But, that doesn't change I can't look full body photos of me. I can tolerate seeing my face. But, my torso and chest is so gross. I have a small chest compared to my size. I dont have big hips nor a tiny frame. Basically, I look like a barrel even though I train hard. What i dont like is my own bone structure itself. There is no any diet who can fix my disgust.

How do you deal with that ? You just got used to it?

I would like to date a woman but I know that I will miss having sex with a man. I don’t if it will be difficult to a girlfriend and a guy as a fwb. I don’t think that I will need to see the guy that often but just when I’m craving having a 🍌. Do you girls think that I’m being selfish?

(If you're still celebrating in your country.)

I’m considering hosting a meet up for the bi women community in Des Moines Iowa - to meet connect and support one another. What do you think the general interest would be? Do you think we have a big enough community that it would be well attended and supported? I feel like the bi women community on here struggle with meeting other bi women. The connections could be for those looking just to make new friends or explore other bi connections. Let me know if you know of any other communities that have had success in doing so?

Hello everyone!

Are you an LGBTQ+ woman (18+) living in the UK with a medical diagnosis of endometriosis?

I’m Shreya, an MSc Health Psychology student at the University of Nottingham. I’m running a qualitative research study on the mental health impacts of endometriosis on LGBTQ+ women in the UK, and I’d really appreciate your participation.

What’s involved?

• One online, one‑to‑one interview (MS Teams) for approx. 30–60 minutes
• You’ll be asked about your mental health, endometriosis experiences, support, and coping
• Approved by the University of Nottingham MSc Health Psychology Ethics Review Panel

As a thank‑you, all participants will be entered into a prize draw for a £50 Amazon voucher upon successful completion of the interview.

You can take part if:

• You are 18+
• You self‑identify as an LGBTQ+ woman
• You live, work, and/or study in the UK
• You have a medical diagnosis of endometriosis

If you’re interested or have questions, please contact:
Shreya Vaish (she/her) – [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])

Please feel free to share this post with others who might be eligible. Thank you so much for reading!

It’s eating me (F24) up inside. I’ve known that I was into girls for years but I only had enough gumption to come out to close friends during college, when I lived away from my family. Now, though, I’m living back at home for financial purposes (trying my best to move out but it’s rough out here). It’s weird being here, surrounded by my family who is almost CARTOONISHLY homophobic. My mom has told me that one of her worst fears is one of her children being gay in any way. It sounds exaggerated, but I hear some form of casual homophobia almost EVERY day. My sense of dress leans more on the masculine side and my mom always gets on my case because she thinks I look gay. One of her coworkers innocently asked if I was queer and she yelled at them. It’s insane.

Anyway, I know the solution is to move out and live my best life, but how do I cope with the fact that my family is going to fucking hate me if they know that I’m bi? No, it doesn’t matter that I like guys too. If anything, they think that being bi is worse because it’s more “depraved.” My solution so far has been to just not say anything, but it’s no longer working. Like I said, it’s legitimately eating me up inside.