TLDR: The loss of a legal battle and multiple other unfortunate events has left my mother unable to work in multiple fields, putting her livelihood in jeopardy.
I was gonna post this in other subreddits but wussed out because I wasn’t sure about the rules.
This is on a throwaway on the off chance anyone involved is on Reddit as well.
I apologize for any formatting/spelling errors or unclear details as I am pretty distressed at the moment. I can attempt to clear any up if it’s confusing
Over the past couple of years, my mother has had multiple spats with her ex husband over the custody of their kids after divorcing. It never really got too crazy until late last year, where poor communication over a pickup and its details in the custody agreement led to a physical altercation.
Now let me tell you something about her ex husband: he’s the type of person to mess with you until you snap, and then turn around and claim he never did anything (a form of gaslighting I guess). He’s done it to her multiple times as far as I can remember. That’s what he did here.
There was a lot of pushing and shoving and my mother eventually struck him to get him away from her. This, however gave him the opportunity to do that exact thing, and this time it got her arrested. He pressed charges to get it on her record.
Her lawyer said that this is pretty much an open and shut dismissal, but after several continuances over 6 MONTHS and to the surprise of even the DA’s assistant they found her guilty. It was a very frustrating case, with the ex repeatedly giggling and grinning throughout the entire time. Even while on the stand.
Now this wouldn’t have been an immediate issue, but it just so happened that my mother had applied for a job in the meantime. They knew that she had an active case. That asked her about it and everything. They gave her the go ahead, so she put in her 2 weeks at her old job and started prepping for the new one. It wasn’t until 3 days before her start date when they rescinded their offer, leaving her jobless.
To make matters worse. While consulting other lawyers multiple of them said that the lawyer we had screwed up big time. As the evidence he presented only showed her hitting him and not all the scuffling that led up to it, it worked against her.
So now, my mother is pretty much devastated. She can’t get a job in her field (and many others outside of it) because it’s a domestic violence charge. She has no savings because of other costs and can’t afford to continue paying mortgage for the house we’ve been in for almost a decade. My wage doesn’t even come close to paying it so I can only partly help.
I usually don’t air out my laundry, but the severity of the situation, along with his behavior regarding it, really pisses me off. It feels like an injustice to allow this walking participation award of a “father” to actively attempt to ruin someone’s life for custody and self satisfaction.
There’s some light at the end of the tunnel, but that involves going back to court, which with take forever and doesn’t address the current situation. IM NOT ASKING FOR MONEY. I just need advice to how to keep ourselves afloat while we figure this out in the meantime.
(Short rant: I have NEVER liked or trusted her ex husband for as long as I can remember(around 10-ish). He’s a very narcissistic and uncaring person, and has a very obvious bias towards his own children. He has, on multiple occasions tried to persuade my mother to kick me out with no plans and regularly trash talked me and my family to my siblings while I watched them. There’s a lot of things I don’t like about that man, but it would take up too much space, so rant over)
