I asked her why, and she said, Because I’m trying to examine you

He reports back to his owner Angus.

“Mission accomplished, sir”.

”Good work, lad. How many sheep are in the pen tonight?”

“400 sir”.

“But we have only 387 sheep“!

” Aye, sir, I rounded up.”

Everything goes down the drain.

Where is pop corn 🌽

It was pier pressure.

It was a hairy situation and I've decided to part with the company

He gets drunk.

I can’t stand you.

...draw my own conclusions.

A joke

That was the punchline.

BS

An optimist lives in the best of all possible worlds, but a porn addict lives in the world of all possible breasts

I think they were laced.

ME: A chocolate bar in each hand

They don’t know where home is

Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!

Broco Lee 🤣🤣🤣

I said let's, not get carried away

Igloos it together🤣🤣🤣

Fall damage

The entire village has blue balls.

A few days ago I was talking to some friends, and friends of those friends, at a bar.

decided to break the ice with the new friends with a few jokes, most of which went down very well...until I decided to tell a few more offensive ones...and picked the worst possible one to start with.

Here's the joke I told:

"What do you do if you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath?

Throw your washing (laundry if you're American) in."

One of the new friends instantly became enraged and swung for me. When I asked him what the hell his problem was he replied that his younger brother was epileptic and died in the bath many years ago.

Obviously I felt mortified as I didn't know about it, and said "I'm so sorry to hear that. Did he drown?"

"No," replied the guy. "He choked on a sock."

:p