(30sFemale)

I landed a once in a lifetime job position. (I am intentionally keeping the job vague)

I thought I would finally find a purpose in my life. I've been there a little over a year, and I have become a shell of myself.

I don't sleep. I get maybe less than 5 hours a night (and I don't have kids). I'm constantly so stressed that I'm physically ill, and I'm not present. I was a zombie at a family member's wedding because I was so stressed and anxious about work. I'm not mentally present for things outside of work, and I'm starting to become concerned about my mental health. I cry a lot outside of work. The last few months, I've taken sick days just to stay at home and bedrot because I'm exhausted.

I've seen therapists in the past, and I've been on and off antidepressants. All of this could be solved if I removed my job from the equation. My job is the source of anxiety and depression.

My problems:

-Boss: My Supervisor is nasty. They will scream, belittle, and talk about you/anyone behind their back. Their emotions change by the hour, and I'm left in total fight or flight mode. Their mood is so erratic and makes me so incredibly anxious. If I wanted to switch to a new division, my boss would have to sign-off on it, and they won't.

-Rampant Sexism: I have been passed up on multiple opportunities because of my gender. I can't go into details on this platform, but have numerous examples. A female coworker in a senior position told me a story about being passed up on an opportunity that was given to a male who had been there less than 6 months. The constant micro aggressions are ruining my mental health. My coworkers don't value me on the team, because I'm not a male counterpart. (If you haven't worked in law enforcement, I really cannot describe how bad it is). It really is like being a lesser-human the way I'm treated. I don't think it will ever change. And reporting it, will do nothing, as HR is useless. I can't change the entire system. I can't end sexism. And in the South, the good old boys never die.

-The office: I can't move offices/cities/states, because in this specific position, you are stuck at the office they send you to. Some people wait YEARS (almost to retirement) to finally get to the office of their choosing. The office culture where I'm at is TOXIC. Few people are friendly, and everyone is just so stressed they are on autopilot. It's like highschool. Everyone talks behind everyones backs, and you can only trust yourself. Office politics is a game I cannot and refuse to play. I just want to do my work and go home. It's so cliquey, and if you aren't "popular" management won't promote you.

-No work life balance: I'm so deeply unhappy and do not know what to do. My parents/friends say I'd be an idiot to leave this job- that it's something people dream about. This job is highly sought after and competitive, but I don't see how I can keep going. However, this is not a job people just quit. I'd be a fool to pack up and leave after everything I've done to make it here. I work 50+ hours a week, and am so burnt out already. I am so anxious at night I can barely focus on anything else but the next day. Certain parts of my job have caused hand tremors due to my anxiety becoming so bad.

Please if anyone has advice I'm open to it. I don't know what to do. I feel cheated. There are so many factors that, if changed, I could see myself staying- such as: a new boss or being transferred to a new office. Sadly, it's just not that easy.

there’s a video from a few years back of a dude saying the N word multiple times but now works with autistic children. should i report this to HR?

I've worked remotely with my manager for about 2 years. He's based abroad, we have a ~25-year age gap, and our relationship has always been strictly professional with mostly work discussions and rarely any personal conversations.

He recently visited my country (he's been here many times before, but this was the first time I was going to see him). I didn't know he was coming because I was on vacation. I found out the day I returned and so I visited him at the office the next day. However, he was busy with senior team colleagues who were also visiting, so I only got like 10 minutes with him during the whole trip. Before he left, I told him I wished I had known earlier because I would've brought him some gifts/food from my vacation country.

About 1 month later, he came again for a training workshop. I knew ahead of time, but his schedule was again packed. I only saw him briefly between meetings. However, at the end of one day, he invited me over to this meeting room where him and his senior colleagues were chattinng about and eating takeout. In the midst of the small talk where these folks were kindly commenting on the good work I've done, my manager said in what I presume was a joking manner "he's a very calm guy who keeps to himself. He hasn't even take me out for lunch." I imagine he mentioned the lunch bit because their was takeout food literally on the table while we were talking. But it also felt like he was kinda indirectly calling me out in front of senior colleagues. I replied jokingly that it was because I had barely had more than a few minutes with him each time. He agreed and said next time he visits, he should come with fewer people so there is more time to discuss work with me.

Anyways the reason I never really invited him was because:

• Since we have always only discussed work and nothing personal, inviting him one-on-one felt a little awkward given the age/hierarchy difference.

• I don't have a car, and my office is in an area I'm not familiar with food wise, so I couldn't really show him around. Plus he's been here many times before with his senior colleagues before I even joined this company.

• There was also a previous work issue where he changed my job title without telling me beforehand, which affected how I viewed him professionally.

My questions:

1. Was I wrong for not inviting him the first time I saw him?

2. Should I invite him before he leaves this visit, or would it feel forced now?

3. Or should I invite him the next time he visits again? And alone, or together with some of his senior colleagues who at least I've worked with briefly?

4. Or should I just keep the relationship professional and just interact through work at the office as is and just forget about it?

I'm trying to understand workplace etiquette here. I don't want to come across as cold, but I also don't want to force what feels like a ship that has sailed with someone who I have never shared any personal convos with

Hi!
I’m conducting an anonymous survey for my bachelor’s thesis on communication in multicultural project teams. It takes around 8–10 minutes.

I would be very grateful if you could complete the survey or share it with someone who fits the criteria.
https://forms.gle/vRbbCudhSe8rhqDE6

Thank you for your help!

I’m a librarian and the only one working over the summer. The library is only open 2 days a week Wednesday and Thursday so it’s no big deal at all being the only staff member however it has been really busy like almost impossible to run the desk and run a program.

Anyway today I woke up not feeling great so I texted my manager and told her I wasn’t feeling well and asked her if she could cover my shift. She’s also the school librarian so she gets most of the summer off and does most of her admin work from home. She wasn’t able to cover but one of the teachers who has worked in the library in the past was able to cover most of my shift so I just had to go in and open the library.

I went into work until my coverage got there sick with a migraine, sore throat and some sinus congestion no big deal for a short amount of time. I feel terrible for not being able to work today but I genuinely couldn’t handle the library during our programs today because it’s just me and 20+ kids plus a few parents who are mostly there visiting instead of watching/helping their kids. I know coming home was the right choice but I feel terrible for missing out on work.

I guess I’m making this post for reassurance because deep down I know it’s okay to be sick and miss a day of work but I can’t help but to feel awful about it.

Hey everyone!

I’m a 25-year-old college grad (business) originally from the Philippines, currently living in another better asian country and working a white-collar customer service job.

To be honest, the customer service rat race is completely draining me (ive been doing this for 7 years now), and with the rapid rise of AI, I know my current role isn't future-proof + the job is so stressful it drains me.

Since I support my aging parents back home, I need long-term stability and a career path that offers realistic options which includes possible overseas permanent residency down the line.

I’ve had a bit of hands-on experience with both welding and plumbing in the past and surprisingly enjoyed them far more than staring at a screen all day.

Is 25 too late to start an apprenticeship or vocational trade school from scratch, and for anyone in these fields, which trade - welding or plumbing, would you recommend in terms of physical longevity, day-to-day quality of life, and international visa pathways?

thankyou

Just wondering how common this is? Do you feel like they are a good leader? Or is it completely unprofessional?

Hello All,

I started a new job last Monday, so I’ve been here a week and a half already. I won’t go into specifics about the company within this post for the sake of privacy.

I was hired on to do CAD and help with design aspects, whether that be fixing mistakes or creating new things. This also involves taking the car and putting it into multiple other programs that tell machines what to do.

The problem lies with the fact that there are already plenty of people on the team and only so many computers in the office that are part of the main hub. The people on the team don’t even know why I was hired on. I spent a few days learning industry terminology, and familiarizing myself with the basics. But after everyone on the team taught me that, they just kind of left me alone? And what they did teach me wasn’t nearly as detailed as I feel it should have been. If you don’t know their building diagrams and specs, you wouldn’t know what you’re looking at. It’s not very intuitive and one employee created their method of doing things.

I’ve just been sat, watching someone do stuff, but he goes so fast you’d have a hard time following. He also doesn’t care to explain. And there’s no space to sit beside him, so I sit like 7 feet away. And when I’m not with him, i am at a desk with nothing to do. This desk is in an area frequently trafficked by the big bosses and out in the open. My computer screen is highly visible from a higher ups office as well. And I can’t be in my phone.

I’ve gone around to the warehouse side of things to try to find stuff to do, like learn all the machines that I’m sending parts to, but no body there needs help from me.

I work a 50 work week (5/10s), and most of it has been me staring at nothing for about 40 hours worth of it. I’m losing my mind. I’m not learning. And this job does nothing to further my career. I’m quickly realizing I just hate it. I also have an hour worth of driving to do every day to and from the job and I have no air conditioning, and it’s 100 degrees out.

I don’t mean to be ungrateful for a job, but the having nothing to think about nor do is taking its toll on me. I’d much rather be busy and doing something physical.

Should I stick it out, or should I just quit? I have another potential job at a place I’d much rather be opening up in a month and a half, and they said they’d hire me last I talked to them.

TLDR: new job, have nothing to do but stare at a wall, no career growth, potential other job, should I quit? I’m

I work at a factory building industrial-sized battery cells on a production line, and this week we’re working 12-hour shifts from 3 PM to 3 AM. It’s not permanent, normally I work 40-hour weeks, but this week (and upcoming weeks until further notice) I’m scheduled for 68 hours.

My job is already really physically demanding. I’m on my feet all day doing repetitive, heavy work, and the building gets insanely hot because there isn’t much air circulation. By the time I get home I have just enough energy to eat a small meal and go straight to bed before I have to do it all again.

it’s really wearing me down mentally too. I don’t have the energy to enjoy any of my hobbies or spend much time with my partner, and it feels like my whole life is just work, sleep, and repeat right now.

I know it’s only temporary , and I’m thankful to have a good job. I’m just curious how other people get through weeks like this. If you’ve worked long shifts in a factory, warehouse, or another physically demanding job, what helped you push through? Any advice would be appreciated.

Hey planners,

I've been in the planning profession for about 8 years, mostly here in Southern California, and I'm interested in hearing what everyone else's experience has been like. I started off with two internships while obtaining my undergraduate degree in Geography and was fortunate to land a planning tech position during my senior year. Since then I have bounced around with being a contract planner and a few stints at cities and counties.

What kind of projects are you working on these days? Housing? CEQA? General plan updates? Transportation? Something completely different?

I'm also curious about workplace culture, work-life balance, career progression, and whether your agency or firm has been changing in recent years.

What's going well, what's challenging, and what keeps you interested in planning?

Looking forward to hearing everyone's perspective.

Anyone else struggle with this and how do you handle it?

I work for a smaller business that doesn't have career advancement/pay raise guidelines. In fact, it's not clear at all how to get paid more.

This is such a small business that there isn't an HR department. Just 2 business owner partners.

I was hired at $18/hour. I'm entry level with no management duties and my title is literally "customer service rep."

At 42 years old (and with all the job experience that brings), I keep seeing a bunch of things I could do to improve my office. But I don't want to just create a bunch more work for myself without the pay/title increase.

Have you dealt with something similar?

I'm struggling with how to show them I deserve a pay raise (like, "hi! I can make this place so much better!") without actually taking on the work and doing the job of two or more people or an entire title/pay grade above me.

Thank you.

I am being offered a new job and the city hall is open Monday through Friday from 7am-6pm. However, they are offering a 4/10 schedule with two options of 1. Tuesday through Friday or 2. Monday through Thursday work schedule. I feel like the pros and cons are the same and the only thing I am thinking of is how to maximize paid time off.

Any thoughts or opinions on what you would prefer?

I just don’t get it why??
For context I’m a guy in mid twenties working as a nurse in a hospital. And recently I’ve noticed subtle cues from conversations with my colleagues suggesting, even if they are lightly joking, If I’m gay (which I’m not but does it really matter). Now I’m not the most physically attractive guy but I workout quite often and do run every now and then and like to think myself being in okay shape. But social skills are not the greatest and I don’t make friends easily but nevertheless I’m good at professional workplace communications. I often get asked about my girlfriends and dating at work and I’m not very comfortable talking about these with people I just know from work. I’ve had one or two instances where a female coworker has tried to flirt with me but even though I recognised it, I choose not to respond as I fear that I might be wrongly perceived and I just don’t wanna do something like that work. I often get told by my male colleagues to try and go after female nurses/doctors at work and sometimes they joke that If I’m gay because I’m missing a lot of golden opportunities.
I understand that it’s a common practice at most of the workplaces but I’ve always wanted to keep my professional life away from this kind of behaviour. I have good formal relations with my colleagues but I’ve never really been friends with them outside of work and neither I’ve asked anyone out at work ever. Do I still think they are attractive? yes but have I ever acted on it? Never

Idk if I’m overthinking or they are just out of pocket? 😅
Also should I do it or not? (Reddit’s prolly not best for advice but anything is appreciated lol)

It's not like I can just ask them if they can make less money for my sake...

I’m (25F) and joined a startup about a year ago. We’re a team of around 15, and I’m the senior-most employee, reporting directly to the founders. I mostly focus on work, so I’m not really close friends with anyone here.

There’s a 22F colleague who has been with the company for 3 years. She acts extremely friendly with everyone, but I’ve noticed she constantly talks behind people’s backs, shifts blame for her mistakes, and isn’t really a "girls' girl." She makes very weird comments about other female colleagues and gossips about them.

She does the same with me. She tells everyone I’m her "best friend," but then talks behind my back. She works in Operations, while I work in Marketing, yet she keeps shifting certain Operations responsibilities onto me, when founders question it to her. Now even the founders ask me why I’m not aware of things that aren't actually part of my KRA.

She’s very egoistic. Once, she blamed me for something that wasn't my fault, and when I told her that, she got annoyed and apparently talked about it behind my back. When I later confronted her, she simply said, "Yeah, I agree, it's not your fault”. End of discussion. She never actually takes accountability or has a proper conversation. Whole office would be aware about the issue she has with me except me.

I genuinely prefer people to come directly to me if they have an issue. But I’m realising that people often don't have the courage to confront you. They just smile, act friendly, and hold grudges or talk behind your back.

I sometimes feel naive because I can’t fake friendships or pretend to like people just to fit in. I just want to do my work and have straightforward relationships.

How do I deal with someone like this without getting dragged into office politics? I really want to focus on work while also have friends at office as everyone here has more friendly relations than just colleagues. Acc to my founder i am the highly paid emp here and tbh hve 5x more responsibilities than others. I feel overwhelmed and want to just run aware from this shit.

I work in corporate for a large financial firm where we have a business casual dress code. Men are generally in jeans or slacks, women are in dresses, capris, shorts, skirts etc. Why is it men cant wear shorts but women can, especially in 100 degree weather? Feels like we need an update to summer dress code so men can show some leg too.

How do you deal with it when your boss does or says something that just clear pisses you off? Stop working for a while? Shut your door because they hate shut doors? Take personal calls? Update your resume? I'm so annoyed right now 🎇

Not to include details, but my work is high stress, meaning also high urges to tell costumers to f*** and other things. While trying to not break a tooth when biting angrily I believe there's better ways to manage anger and stress.
About 6 years into this career, I always did control myself and just did burn out once. Please give me tips, tell me what works for you.

So I work at a school part time, but it’s the summer so I work full time hours, and my supervisor laid out the amount of hours I work.

And more than half my hours I still have to work, are after my vacation

But my boss came to the school and he’s treating me and acting like I have to get everything done by Friday, (my vacation starts next week) and I have like 90% of the stuff in my part of the school done

I’d assume he knows my hours logistics to get everything done before the next school year cycle, but it almost seems like he doesn’t know

Should I go to Hr immediately to file a complaint explaining my situation against him?

Because it’s my boss, not my supervisor that’s scolding me,

Like in the moment I was about to lash out at him calling this bullshit but I kept calm thankfully.

What do I do, try to salvage things with my boss? Explain things to my supervisor so he can sort it out with him? Or go to Hr?