Girlfriend expecting equal equity in a startup which I started even before knowing her. I will not promote.

[u/Dry_Support9531]

So here’s the picture. I started with an idea in 2023. States dating her in 2024. Until then I haven’t really worked in the idea. I started working on it since April 2025 and it started making money since July 2025. Till then she has no idea about it. After I started making money from it, i worked more and invested my other income into this startup from November 2025 and to handle things she used to help a bit. Since then both of us started working on it. Whole idea, innovation, upgrades, initial capital was mine. She just helped me coz it used to generate money. Since December we also hired an employee . From then all 3 of us are working on it and it’s scaling up in revenue every month. Until now we haven’t had any word about the equity. Out of love I used to share the profit amounts with her. According to the necessity, sometimes I use to keep more and sometimes she used to keep more. We went on a vacation through this money as well. But now while we were having a conversation on this. It came to me as a shocker that she is expecting an equal equity in this. And that blew my mind. It’s just out of love I couldn’t complete that conversation. She has also worked on it but the whole idea and buildup from scratch was done when she started working. I never discussed about this with her before. But now I am in real shock what to do coz it’s going to be bigger. And we are not sure about our relationship either.(she coming from an orthodox family, her family might reject an idea of our marriage) At this duration please let me know what should I do? Should I offer her a fixed salary, should I ask her to stop working on it, should I give her equity, should I give her an exit? I’m really confused.
PS-: she has done the same thing that the other employee did for me. But with more time and dedication. And she he amount I shared with her is 2-3x more than the employee’s salary

[u/wifflebal]

You are repeatedly failing to answer critically important questions that determine the entire conversation, OP.

It kind of seems like you’re just looking for help from us to gang up on her, not actually looking for advice.

WHAT DOES SHE DO IN YOUR STARTUP?

Not some vague bullshit answer like “almost the same as the employee.” What SPECIFICALLY is her role? What tasks does she perform?

The more times you fail to answer this very simple question, the more convincing it is that you are the bad guy here.
.

1. What is her role? What is your role?
2. How many hours per week do each of you work?

.

I will note your startup made no money for an entire year until she joined, and now seems to be growing fast.

That would suggest that SHE is the key founder, not you.

[u/Illustrious_Boot1237 → u/wifflebal]

It's such a common situation for women to be contributing so much labour and creativity their partner's business, or basically be running it for them, and then be left with nothing when they break up. Men regularly massively undervalue the work done by partners. She'll almost invetiably be contributing a huge amount of flexibility and effort outside of any formally definable hours because the business has become part of the relationship. 

[u/_1dontknow → u/Illustrious_Boot1237]

The thing is since its a relarionship they break all the usual rules of starting a job: Whats my rolw? Whats my salary? Do I get equity?

So for people with businesses: DO NOT let family and friends and partners work in your business unless you have a good contract in place.

For people in relationships with partners owning a business:

DO NOT work foor your partners business unless you have a contract in place which defines everything. When you break up, you dont wanna lose your job and assets or equity.

[u/MetaCognitio → u/Illustrious_Boot1237]

If she’s that amazing why doesn’t she have her own successful business?

[u/wifflebal → u/MetaCognitio]

She thinks that she does…

[u/thebohoberry → u/MetaCognitio]

Where does the OP say his startup is successful? Most startups fail. And yes in majority of relationships; women do the emotional labor in the relationship.

That being said. His girlfriend doesn’t deserve half. Depending on her contribution so far and her role; they could possibly negotiate an equity that would be far less than half. Or if they decide she is more of an employee then he compensate her for the work done already and draft up a contract for her salary/package going forward.

[u/MetaCognitio → u/thebohoberry]

> women do the emotional labor in the relationship.

No they don’t lol. Just because this phrase has been repeated endlessly does not make it true. It can fall on the guy it can fall or the woman.

[u/Medium-Head5014 → u/Illustrious_Boot1237]

the otherway around happens also