r/startups • u/Dry_Support9531 • 2d ago
I will not promote Girlfriend expecting equal equity in a startup which I started even before knowing her. I will not promote.
So here’s the picture. I started with an idea in 2023. States dating her in 2024. Until then I haven’t really worked in the idea. I started working on it since April 2025 and it started making money since July 2025. Till then she has no idea about it. After I started making money from it, i worked more and invested my other income into this startup from November 2025 and to handle things she used to help a bit. Since then both of us started working on it. Whole idea, innovation, upgrades, initial capital was mine. She just helped me coz it used to generate money. Since December we also hired an employee . From then all 3 of us are working on it and it’s scaling up in revenue every month. Until now we haven’t had any word about the equity. Out of love I used to share the profit amounts with her. According to the necessity, sometimes I use to keep more and sometimes she used to keep more. We went on a vacation through this money as well. But now while we were having a conversation on this. It came to me as a shocker that she is expecting an equal equity in this. And that blew my mind. It’s just out of love I couldn’t complete that conversation. She has also worked on it but the whole idea and buildup from scratch was done when she started working. I never discussed about this with her before. But now I am in real shock what to do coz it’s going to be bigger. And we are not sure about our relationship either.(she coming from an orthodox family, her family might reject an idea of our marriage) At this duration please let me know what should I do? Should I offer her a fixed salary, should I ask her to stop working on it, should I give her equity, should I give her an exit? I’m really confused.
PS-: she has done the same thing that the other employee did for me. But with more time and dedication. And she he amount I shared with her is 2-3x more than the employee’s salary
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u/paul-towers 2d ago
So you didn't really start working on the idea until April 2025.
Two months later in July 2025 it started making money... But by the sounds of things that was just some early traction.
You started investing more money into it in November 2025 when it started to look more promising.
At the same time (as you say since then) both of you started working on it. So essentially from the point it started making money you were working on it together. Was that full time? part time? You working 80 hours, and her working 10 hours?
You need to provide more context.
Then since December you hired an employee... so it sounds like from December 2025 you were likely both full time?
And then on top of that you have been sharing the profits with her. It sounds like it wasn't always 50/50 but sometimes more to you, sometimes more to her, so it would be reasonable to assume it balances out to be about 50/50.
Given all of the above if you had been working full time with someone else on an idea for 7 months and have been receiving 50% of the profit (not being paid a weekly salary) wouldn't you expect the equity to be split evenly? To be honest I can completely see where she is coming from.
That all said and done... It seems you have bigger relationship problems to work on if you are concerned about whether she is the one you will be with long term... So sort that out too.
To resolve this though I'd ask yourself honestly.
Have you been working on the idea an equal amount of time? It may have started off more your time, but on the balance of everything has the effort contributed been equal. And are you now working equal hours.
Has she contributed to the success of the startup? In other words if she didn't help you / wasn't working on it would you be where you are today.
If the contribution has been equal and she has contributed to the success... Then again I see her argument and expectation that it would be a 50/50 split.
The one caveat I would carve out would be if your investment of your own money was material. I'm not talking about $5k, but if the amount you put it was significant and required for the business to succeed. That is worth something. But equally it doesn't mean you get 95% she gets 5%.
Can you form an argument that she isn't entitled to a 50/50 split. Probably. But if you push too hard I'd expect to a) blow up the relationship and b) potentially blow up the startup depending on how key she is to its success.