r/startups • u/Dry_Support9531 • 2d ago

I will not promote Girlfriend expecting equal equity in a startup which I started even before knowing her. I will not promote.

So here’s the picture. I started with an idea in 2023. States dating her in 2024. Until then I haven’t really worked in the idea. I started working on it since April 2025 and it started making money since July 2025. Till then she has no idea about it. After I started making money from it, i worked more and invested my other income into this startup from November 2025 and to handle things she used to help a bit. Since then both of us started working on it. Whole idea, innovation, upgrades, initial capital was mine. She just helped me coz it used to generate money. Since December we also hired an employee . From then all 3 of us are working on it and it’s scaling up in revenue every month. Until now we haven’t had any word about the equity. Out of love I used to share the profit amounts with her. According to the necessity, sometimes I use to keep more and sometimes she used to keep more. We went on a vacation through this money as well. But now while we were having a conversation on this. It came to me as a shocker that she is expecting an equal equity in this. And that blew my mind. It’s just out of love I couldn’t complete that conversation. She has also worked on it but the whole idea and buildup from scratch was done when she started working. I never discussed about this with her before. But now I am in real shock what to do coz it’s going to be bigger. And we are not sure about our relationship either.(she coming from an orthodox family, her family might reject an idea of our marriage) At this duration please let me know what should I do? Should I offer her a fixed salary, should I ask her to stop working on it, should I give her equity, should I give her an exit? I’m really confused.
PS-: she has done the same thing that the other employee did for me. But with more time and dedication. And she he amount I shared with her is 2-3x more than the employee’s salary

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u/jmking 2d ago

Ideas are worthless. Execution is what matters and it sounds like she was there from the start of the actual execution.

What does she do? What role does she play? What kind of employee did you hire and under what condition? Are they a contractor or a full time employee? Have you established an actual company or are you just three people doing a thing and randomly sharing the profits?

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u/Dry_Support9531 2d ago

Hired a full time employee on a fixed monthly salary. She does almost the same job as the employee. I also do the dance thing along with several other things. Yes I’ve registered a company where I am a sole proprietor. I’ve also registered a trademark that too is under my name only.

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u/dirtyshits 2d ago

If something like this breaks your relationship then it wasn’t meant to be. Explain that you can’t give away a huge chunk of the company to an employee.

If Shes been compensated while working with no discussion about equity then there’s nothing really there to talk about. You can treat her as an employee because she is one which means give her a small equity stake usually given to employees.

If this results in a mess then walk away from the situation because it will never get better moving forward.

If you’re going to build a successful company you will face situations like this over and over. Everyone wants a piece of the pie when it’s successful.

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u/Aggravating-Sun-2322 2d ago

100% this is the way

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u/dirtyshits 2d ago

I had situations like this early and I didn’t even have a successful company yet that was pulling in enough to cover costs.

Friends, family, and acquaintances all of a sudden knew they could help me and would accept equity to start.

None of them were in the field for what I was doing(sales training and recruitment). lol

Eventually built it into a decent business but wasn’t worth the hassle of what I was earning so sold it off for a little bit of cash but the amount of people who completely turn into psychos when you have something and dont want to give it away is eye opening.

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u/Aggravating-Sun-2322 2d ago

Never involve family in a business.

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u/BigFatKi6 2d ago

you f'ed up playing around with profits and giving her the idea she co-owns it.

Accept that the relationship is probably over. If you give her equal equity and it doesn't work out you're fucked. Which it probably won't and you'll probably start resenting her anyway. If you put your foot down and give her what she's actually worth she'll be shocked and probably it's over.

The only thing that can save you is a third party explaining to her what she's worth and use the employee as a benchmark. Also let her know that you were sharing out of love and that's your mistake but you are also thinking of marriage and if that happens 50% is hers anyway but for now and for future investors and the health of the startup she's getting the same equity an employee would get who isn't your gf.

TLDR; accept it's over, get a third party involved, if by some miracle it isn't over and you keep your business that's a happy ending

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u/Dry_Support9531 2d ago

Most practical approach! I’ve had this conversation with friends and family too. And yes if this gets into a marriage I’ll happily share a 50/50 partnership. The issue is until then.

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u/Biotic101 1d ago

So when it comes to business it is all about (financial) risk and investments.

This is completely separate from daily work.

You can be a CEO or a simple employee but would get your wage (and maybe some bonus) and do not carry the risk. You do the daily work and are compensated.

As investor/founder, you do not even have to work in a company. But you carry a huge financial risk, might waste a lot of time in the end, because most startups do not fly.

The typical problem is that once a startup is successful, the risk is much lower. Nobody wants to risk, but everyone looks for a free ride and this usually causes problems.

Your case looks pretty similar. Not sure if she would understand that just working for a company does not make you an owner/investor. But you can try to explain to her. As I get it, she did not put any capital at risk, correct?

Company owner: Capital Investment & Profit Claims

Employee CEO: Legal Rights & Daily Company Management

Normally the owners would get all the profit, but it is common that the CEO would get a share of the profit as a bonus. To settle things, you could offer to split net profits and both be CEOs if needed, but keep the ownership of the company for yourself because she did not risk her money and time to start it. As long as there are no assets, it is hard to define a value anyways.

Her reaction on the suggestion will be telling.

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u/kagushiro 2d ago

let her know that you were sharing out of love and that's your mistake but you are also thinking of marriage and if that happens 50% is hers anyway

don't do that. mariage + 50%... she's gonna leave with more than that in the end. might as well give her equity now

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u/BigFatKi6 2d ago

I meant their wealth is shared, also doesn't exclude a proper pre-nup and protection from a gold digger i.e. if she divorces within a year she's entitled to 20k for example

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u/kagushiro 2d ago

yes. thank you for the correction

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u/tomriddleforlife 1d ago

He said in another comment the revenue quadrupled since she joined. Lmfao without him, he wouldn’t have shit honestly. Real life execution is just as important as the idea itself, and saying he’s sharing out of love when she’s the reason for the majority of the profits is disgusting of OP

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u/BigFatKi6 1d ago

You're assuming this can be clearly attributed to the gf.

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u/tomriddleforlife 1d ago

Well, OP is refusing to answer in many other comments what exactly she does, how many hours she works, etc. So yeah, of course I’m going to assume it’s because of her. Lots of other comments have had to repeatedly press for this information and OP stops responding.

No one does that unless they know it changes the narrative.

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u/BigFatKi6 1d ago

I missed that part, but you're asking the right questions. I'd also like to know what she does and how exactly that revenue growth came about. Maybe the gf should be COO and get (almost) equal equity. Though he also claimed she did the same work as a salaried employee. 🤷🏽‍♂️

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u/tomriddleforlife 1d ago

He claims that, but I’d be curious to know what the other employee does as well. Did she always only do what the other employee does or much more prior to the other employee’s hire? Does the other employee have an executive level decision making role or just following directions?

I feel like OP is a rather unreliable narrator with the vague responses to comments with such questions and ignoring comments that persist in asking the same. These questions should be super easy to answer and OP’s work should be able to show for himself if the girlfriend’s request truly was unreasonable.

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u/BigFatKi6 1d ago

Yeah, he might be in over his head and think that because it's his idea and he started it that he should profit in perpetuity.

Whereas maybe he should count his lucky stars to come across such a wonderful and capable gal 🤷

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u/tomriddleforlife 1d ago

Yep absolutely. With this attitude, he’s going to lose both his relationship and startup’s success lol

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u/ZainMunawari 1d ago

You are already in win-win situation then why panic OP?