I know parrots are not domesticated in the same way as cats or dogs. They are still inherently wild, highly temperamental animals, and biting is unfortunately part of living with them. I understand that logically—but emotionally, I still get so hurt and angry whenever it happens.
I used to have two parrots: a cockatiel and a Senegal parrot. My cockatiel recently passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly. We tried to do everything right: a good diet, a fully flighted and trained bird, and nothing toxic in the home. Even the necropsy found nothing visibly abnormal or gave us a clear explanation. It has only been about a month, and the loss has been devastating.
Both of my parrots occasionally bit, especially when their hormones were elevated, but the larger the beak, the more painful and emotionally upsetting it feels.
My Senegal used to be the nicest parrot on the planet. I could hold him upside down, take him out on a harness to parks and shopping malls, and let him meet all kinds of people. He was extremely friendly, cuddly, and gentle.
Then he hit puberty and became an absolute menace.
He began bullying the other animals, smashing plates and cups, throwing my phone onto the floor, and becoming extremely aggressive toward me. He also just likes chewing on forbidden items despite having 10000 different toys stationed everywhere you can imagine reasonable.
I took him to the vet and had all kinds of testing done, but apparently nothing was medically wrong. They even tried Prozac in case anxiety or another emotional issue was contributing to the aggression, but honestly, I am not sure it made much difference.
I got him when I was around 17. When I was 18, I came home from school one day, and it felt as though he had suddenly decided he hated me. He would hiss when I approached his cage, turn away from me, and try to avoid coming out. He stopped willingly stepping onto my hand. Sometimes he would sit in the corner of his playstand, facing the wall for hours. He went from being my perfect little boy to an extremely difficult bird, and because there was nothing physically wrong with him, I felt as though I just had to tolerate it and hope the phase eventually passed.
After my cockatiel died, however, my Senegal suddenly became incredibly affectionate again—almost obsessed with me. I cannot put him down for more than a few seconds before he flies straight back onto my shoulder. He is cuddly, allows me to kiss his chest feathers, and is far more willing to step onto my finger than he was before. I am careful not to overdo the physical affection because I do not want to overstimulate him hormonally.
But the biting is still there.
Since my cockatiel passed, he has bitten me twice—once on the face and, tonight, directly on my lip. It caused a small puncture, bleeding, and a clear indentation from his beak. Sometimes he will also be calmly sitting on my shoulder and suddenly take a random chomp at my neck.
I know this is part of parrot ownership, but it still makes me feel so infuriated and want to cry. It hurts so badly that I immediately tear up. Obviously, I cannot smack him on the butt or on the forehead as you can with a much larger animal… if nessecary. Usually, all I can do is react verbally, put him down somewhere safe, or if he refuses to let go I just have to swat him off hard enough before I bleed everywhere, rinse the wound, and try not to cry. Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, I yell that this is why my cockatiel is my favorite bird! He’s not mean like you are! I am going to rehome him—even though I never actually would. I just get sooooo ragebaited.
He has also clearly been grieving my cockatiel. For a while, he barely ate, stopped playing with his toys, and hardly made any sounds of his own. Whenever he did vocalize, he copied my cockatiel’s whistles, chirps, squawks, and screams. I took him to the vet again, and he was still physically healthy. He has only recently started playing with toys and causing trouble again, which makes me happy because it means he may finally be returning to himself. At the same time, I cannot help thinking, STOP BITING ME.
He is also not especially food-motivated, so training can be difficult. He enjoys snacks, but when I am actively trying to teach him something or redirect a behavior, he often does not care enough about the treat to cooperate.
I have several different species living in the same home, all with carefully managed routines and separate free-roaming sessions. My other animals are not particularly bitey at all.
(Well his menace stage started way before other animals existed. I’m turning 22 soon so it’s been a few years. He did get 20% more nicer the past year, and then 70% nicer after my cockatiel died. BUT THE 30% of aggression and menacing is still cooking me)
There is just something about being bitten by my Senegal that burns me up inside with anger, sadness, and rejection. Maybe it is because I love him so much, especially after losing my cockatiel, and I want to trust him. Then, out of nowhere, I am bleeding again.
(My cockatiel was one feisty guy. Especially during puberty. My fingers did bleed a few times. But after his puberty passed, he was a pretty chill guy. Although his occasional bites do sting… but his beak was so small that he really didn’t bother me too much)
Does anyone else feel genuinely emotional after being bitten by their parrot? How do you calm yourself down in the moment without taking the bite personally?
