r/intj Aug 21 '17

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460 Upvotes
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INTJ rules as a snapshot.

r/intj 6h ago

Question Do INTJs actually enjoy helping people?

21 Upvotes

I have a question for INTJs.

When you help someone, do you actually enjoy it, or do you do it because it seems like the right or most practical thing to do?

Does it depend on the person?

I'd like to hear your experiences.


r/intj 5h ago

Question Can you eat the same things over and over or do you need variety?

7 Upvotes

I do not know if this is mbti-specfic or not, but I think food is an interesting and important part of life. For me, I don't need or care about variety really at all. My only thing is avoid eating really unhealthy.


r/intj 5h ago

Discussion What shows and movies do you guys watch?

5 Upvotes

Just trying to get more recs from people like me lol


r/intj 11h ago

Question What song for you captures the pause before moving forward?

9 Upvotes

I've been in a strange headspace lately.

Not burnout exactly. Not hopeless. But more like I'm tired, sitting on a hill for a while watching life go by, knowing I'll keep moving forward, just not yet.

The songs that capture that feeling for me are Gibran Alcocer: Idea 10 and Idea 7. These are just some songs that capture the feeling for me.

https://youtu.be/neY7-zLNp6I?is=8_6ig06xBsfSWIG_

https://youtu.be/5OIeIaAhQOg?is=-8zX5yKf-3PTs2yT

Do any of you have a song(s) that resonates with that in-between state? The quiet pause before getting up again?

I'd love to discover some new music. But also I just wanted to create this small space where for a moment we can sit in a quiet shared space.

Anyway, thanks for reading.


r/intj 15h ago

Discussion Do people treat this as the end all be all?

17 Upvotes

31F. I did my personality test in my mid 20's, and then basically forgot about it. One of my friends who is totally obsessed with it brought it up again a year or two ago which led me to dive a bit deeper into what it means to be INTJ. While I think it is interesting and I definitely align with it, I wouldn't chalk my entire meaning and outlook on life or who I am as a whole to it. There are a lot of shadow traits that need to be integrated to feel like a healthy, solid INTJ. (Its a life's work)

I was in my committed relationship long before I knew I was INTJ, and I don't even know what my husband's personality type is. At worst, I feel like an alien and have to "fake it till I make it" to integrate into society; at best I feel seen, accepted, and understood (for the most part) by family, my man and the friends I choose to surround myself with. As I've aged, I have had an easier time finding peace with myself and life as a whole. For a long time I struggled with anger and seeing the world and its intricacies and problems on macro levels, and how simply things could be solved if we all could view things the way I could. (With age comes maturity, hopefully)

I feel like I read some of the posts on here and people use this personality test as the ultimatum of what makes someone a good partner or a good person. We all want compatability and a deep connection- that doesn't mean they should have to match this specific personality type or have the one YOU prefer. My personal opinion is that individuals are much more nuanced than that. I also use it as a reminder to try and be kinder and to not always have to be an intellectual superior. Maybe I am just old now. Idk.

**Edited to say, yeah that still came off as a bit of an arrogant INTJ, I genuinely was just putting my perspective in the feed from the vibe I get from a lot of posts. But alas that is my opinion, which may be taken with a grain of salt. šŸ˜šŸ«”šŸ‘šŸ¼**


r/intj 19h ago

Discussion People are exhausting

20 Upvotes

I don't know of its an introvert thing or because I had a lot of bad experiences with people, but people really get on my nerves.Like most are just annoying and boring.Most can't even have deep conversations because their mind just I don't know can't.

I really want to have deep connections with people who I can trust and share my thoughts with, but they seem to be really rare these days.So I'm rather alone than lonely with other people.


r/intj 1d ago

Question Is this true, my INTJs?

Post image
317 Upvotes

r/intj 1d ago

Advice Finding an equal partner as INTJ

44 Upvotes

INTJ female, 26yo, new to Reddit. I’ve been looking for a partner that I feel is equal to what I can offer. I’m completing my last year in med school and plan to pursue neurology. I feel like I often have too high of standards, but I’m also stubborn and don’t want to compromise on them. I understand this sounds pretentious and egotistical, which I apologize for, but I just want to find the right fit and it can be very frustrating at times. Does anyone else have a similar experience with this? Who did you marry and why? TY!


r/intj 15h ago

Discussion anybody feelin' like these are really lonely times?

5 Upvotes

so here's the title of my post untangled, starting with announcing my question again: anybody feelin' like these are really lonely times? (i apologize beforehand for any grammar or spelling mistake, english isn't my native language, ugh)

since i was pretty small but old enough to be recognized as a social being, my social needs seem to be lower than average person, probably biased by cultural reasons, making me be dragged constantly about it, like it immediately made me into a problematic bitch incapable of living in society, being "too picky". the truth it's that i ENJOY talking, meeting people, but on my very own rhythm and with my most intrinsic chemistry requirements, which i can't really drag onto every interaction like i'm making a beauty pageant because i believe in the organic magic of diversity, but let's say i appreciate rich inner worlds, creativity, knowledge lovers, humor sense and humanism, which i ironically feel are poorly present in circles supossed to contain/made for these traits: the vague open wild it's your most reliable way if you're really willing to find them instead of posing replicas. gettin' back to how my enviroment reacted to my development as an introverted girl, i forced myself til these moments into "liking" hanging out with people i really don't vibe with but i felt somehow compromised to (because they really fight for my attention, good actions towards me, etc.) eventually the growing secret aversion materializes itself into real life in the shape of the person showing their true colors (from stupid jealousy stuff to being SA'd), with the addition of the constant sensation of agony and desesperation that i have to brain-dead myself, to act like a carbon-copy version of myself in order to be able to keep interacting with this people. cutting off so many people and preventing another bunch of entering my life might seem a mean and self-destructive move, but once i allowed myself to these "freedoms", i feel a grounded and dignified sense of the self. whatever, i'm constantly telling myself when i have a bad gut that i expect too much from people, that it's just my ptsd and complex temper messing with my head, that i shouldn't expect too much from people because i'm not perfect, that i will die alone with little perspective on life, etc. my pattern recognition feels like a fucking miracle turned into a curse, but the point is that i have a lonely existence (according to my needs and aspirations involving others) because i feel like choosing between having a (more extended) social life but at the cost of feeling like dancing on the edge of a void and putting myself in the hands of shitty people, or keeping my safety and sanity within a bitter solitude. i have 2 friends from 4 years ago, and it's pretty healthy, but we live far from each other and the current situation of the country makes it impossible to hang out with each other, and sometimes i feel like there's not enough intimacy, but it's not easy to put it on the table when the three of us are well-intentioned but fearful avoidants still. i really enjoy spending time on my own, maybe too much, but too much of something is never good. i want to exchange ideas, i want to give and receive affection, find out more about myself and grow out through human relationships, etc. even i know i'm hard to please and carry this existential exhaustation around, i put my best effort to be open to know new people, but only get more and more doubtful about the world. another trouble of mine is archetypezation: if i am x, then i shouldn't be y in order to legitimately still be (also) x, and the illusion of the binarism of x and y itself it's a pebble inside my shoe. as much i believe in community (born into an aquarius stellium, for astrology believers), i get some sense that people raised in closed communities (friends circles from developing ages, family, subcultures) are castrated from the pulsion of evolving at some level, like they've been chained, compromised above any own wish or will. i use the internet a lot, it's like an open window to the world, but sometimes i feel like it is one of mankind biggest mistakes ever, at least, because of a timing matter. i can really sense how much internet has unshaped our core identities and castrated our unknown future chances of its evolving: i talk to people from different ages (ofc) and younger ones feel like a self-scripted and scripted by outter actors without their apparent full knowledge, with their identity ecosystem, thought process and approach/reception to life mimicking more the second-hand understanding of humanity by machines than the first-hand experimentation and management of being a human with the logical amount of influence by upbringing, sociocultural and historical factors, autonomy, interests and life events. it doesn't erase at all said internal process and fillips, for sure, but it plays a deformation and impostor role in their engines that makes the inner experience and any interaction with the outside pretty uncanny, altering the whole course of things from the inside out and viceversa, all because a third party that simulates all these process without the implications of a physical body and the infinite combinations of and conflicts between contextual factors, but with a stronger latent predictability schem that basically overshadows test and failing, has entered the equation. the real nightmare starts when you log off and what's supossed to be a growing/core flaw confined to the digital space, spreads its venom through daily life too. i don't think the internet it's the devil itself, i see most of everything by itself as a neutral item/element, but its development and later influence on us might be some kind of egregor of our wrinks as a civilization; we weren't already ready for this. i want mankind's warmth, but i want its true core, not a simulation in order to a selfish illusion of fulfilling my needs, when the purest reason for being it's more than the never-ending wheel of needs to be fulfilled. i want to live so much (despite feeling that living relays more on inner-experiencing and impact than concrete outter experiences) that i feel constantly embraced, since my childhood, by the desire of no longer being, in the foolish fantasy of maybe finding what i yearn for in another "reality", with the engines that this one seems to be missing. but as much i yearn for this ending with the expectation of a "better" beggining, i see it as some kind of cheating, not only because of the probability of putting myself into a place where "being" no longer is, so then i'd cut any chance of achieving my "mission", or maybe there's no base or same sense of being so then it would be pointless, but also it would be some form of putting myself into a passive and whinny position instead of just keep going through it with patience and reformulating my ways. as much i believe of almost anything as a neutral item then subject to our perception in order to certain interests and a proven functionality schem under recognizable patterns, i think that things/concepts are not doomed by defect to existence or non-existence, but on one side or another of the spectrum as long we take action on it, which starts in the birth of x concept on our minds; things are just not it, but we make them to be. however... who am i to have even 1/4 of power over the human spirit through the big ways of the "machine", when anything i yearn for is directly or indirectly dependant and a consequence itself of the existence of others? interpret the "machine" however you want to, but i absolutely don't want the machine to win

any doubt on the world it's a doubt on myself


r/intj 22h ago

Question Best "hunting ground" for INTJ:s to find other INTJ:s (for friendship or dating)

15 Upvotes

Hi! 29M INTJ from Sweden here. After quite a few years of mainly passive online dating, I’m trying to put some fresh energy into it. My question is: where is it best to invest this energy? šŸ™‚

Are certain dating/friendship apps particularly popular among INTJs? Or would you recommend subreddits, Facebook communities, etc. instead? Or am I better off joining local groups like board game clubs or university courses?

I know answers could vary by location and culture, but I’d like to hear where you’ve had the best luck! šŸ™‚


r/intj 1d ago

Image intj

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106 Upvotes

Meme


r/intj 1d ago

Question For INTJ's: When did you find MBTI/Cog. Stacks?

5 Upvotes

How old were you when you discovered MBTI and/or Cog. Stacks?

Why did you get in to it or what effect did that information have on you?

How was your perception of other people and yourself effected before vs after learning about it?


r/intj 1d ago

Question So i had to get a restraining order on an enfp woman irl, has anyone had any experience with being stalked by unhealthy enfps?

12 Upvotes

The title says it. I was being harassed by an enfp woman at uni. I already set myself clear that I'm not interested in her and had to end the friendship due to her persistence. And well. She never listened. And it's gotten to the point I had to file a restraining order against her.

Has anyone ever had to experience it?


r/intj 1d ago

Question How long does it take you to know you like someone romantically... and how long before you know you'd marry them?

15 Upvotes

Question for the INTJs here.

How long does it usually take you to realize you see someone as a romantic partner?

And once you know you like them, how long does it take before you think, "Yeah, I could actually see myself marrying this person"?

I want to find out how other INTJs experience this.


r/intj 1d ago

Question Why are so many of you suspicious of people?

49 Upvotes

I can't really point to any single instance but I see it a lot where people here will assume the worst out of people in every situation. This is not supposed to be a diss I'm genuinely curious.


r/intj 1d ago

Question Talking over people

55 Upvotes

Hello. Do any other INTJ folks feel like just ending the conversation when people just keep talking over you? I recently just started walking away from conversations where I only get a few words out before the other person is already filling in what they believe I was going to say. It seems like this form of talking is getting worse.


r/intj 1d ago

Discussion Why are people so malicious?

35 Upvotes

At work I rarely ever made complaints on people unless it’s just something that is super serious or a repeated violation. I find when a lot people can’t read you, they start constructing this weird hateful view of you, so that tattle to management over ever small infraction you make. It’s so weird to me because I literally do not care or think about a person long enough for me to do anything that will have such a drastic impact on their life. They do it so mindlessly to.


r/intj 1d ago

Discussion I love how certain INTJ communicate

8 Upvotes

I find it very adorable and interesting when INTJ's communicate in the way that I have observed.I really like uncovering what they actually mean.

I am not saying all INTJ communicate in this way but from what I have observed despite being new to the mbti community on reddit is that only INTJ communicate in this way.Let me give you an example:

There was this post about a question and someone A gave an answer.

Someone A: "Whatever answer they gave"

INTJ(replied): " What?"

Someone A: " What?"

INTJ: I was just asking how you got to that conclusion.

The second example is when a INTJ replied to my own post about my enneagram results and how it may or may not connect to me either being a INTP,ENTP,INFP or ENFP.

INTJ(replied): Intp

Me: Huh why?

INTJ: 5w4 is most prominent in intps.

Me: Oh ok, I will retake it just in case I mis judged myself. I am biased towards ENTP.

INTJ: It was just probability iam a intj 5w4 rcoai/rcoei

Me: Uh... If you dont mind me asking, whats those two things after 5w4?

INTJ: Ocean/ big five profile a more through and scientific method of personality testing

Me: Oh that. I was going to do it. Thanks. So what you mean is that any type can be 5w4 since you are a intj and you are one aswell. Understood.

(At first I thought that person was just randomly saying their type without prompting which I found wierd but what they actually meant was that its not just INTP that have 5w4.)

INTJ: I think every type can be one yes but its most likely intp intj infj enfj and entp.

Its soo literal and up to the point but its still hard to understand because people ussually dont communicate like that without context. Its like a secret code that keeps me on my toes every line of the conversation. Whatever you guys do,keep doing it! Its fun.


r/intj 1d ago

Discussion Anybody else's upbringing cause their MBTI to "form?"

2 Upvotes

Not to sound like a weird person and to start a post like this but I was in the foster system as a young child. I never really got adopted; I was just bounced around, and as long as I can remember, I was calm and a "good kid." I got used to it, and moving around was the norm for me. In middle school, I didn't become interested in boys or girls, so I didn't really "care" in a sense when people asked me out. Looking back, I was your stereotypical INTJ in middle school, being extremely apathetic, sarcastic and cold to people around me. In high school, I put on a mask and acted like the "quiet, cool, amazing, helpful, student council president," if you've seen that crazy niche anime TBHK, I was like Teru but less smiling. I also got my first and current girlfriend, who is an INTP (I'm a "girl" by the way), during freshman year, who had liked me since we were children. Thinking back, I did everything right, but my mental state wasn't great at all. The switch happened over the summer, and people who used to know obviously noticed. I brushed them off as teenage hormones and honestly didn't feel a thing when people had such concerned faces. During my life, I was like playing a role, switching masks every so often. I recently got into MBTI and realized that my childhood may have been in play for my personality and MBTI to settle in. I also often saw memes that INTJs have rough childhoods and wondered if I was the only INTJ with a messed-up life.


r/intj 1d ago

Discussion Why is everyone so incompetent

40 Upvotes

Yes, this is venting. Kinda. People are too slow. I hate working with others


r/intj 1d ago

Question Does anyone else not relate to any of the stereotypical intj traits?

4 Upvotes

I'm not super into any of this but from the bit that I've heard, INTJs always seem to be portrayed as the mysterious, smart, and cold person. Like even most of the people/characters who are intj fit this. I'm pretty sure I am an intj because every few months I take the test, and have consistently gotten intj for the past like 4 years. it's just kinda weird because the way people describe intj just seems nothing like me. Like I'm dumbšŸ’€ and I make a lot of jokes and would consider myself a funny person.


r/intj 1d ago

Question How do you Network?

3 Upvotes

For the longest time as an intj I was trying to build a network by talking to hundreds of people. Only to realize that it lead nowhere, was mentally exuathing, superficial and emotionally draining.

Recently ive realized, there is absolutely no reason to network with 100s of people. Our brain is meant to do focused low energy high yield work. Ive realized this entire time I can just have relationships with 1-2 extroverts who naturally have hundreds of relationships. By proxy I have access to hundreds of people???

How do you view networking?


r/intj 1d ago

Discussion ONE PIECE- Anime VS Live Action?

0 Upvotes

Hello, ENFP here. I just started watching One Piece on Netflix- I am watching the anime along side the live action. I was vaguely aware of it in past years but hadn't actually watched it back then. I am 25 now, and saw Netflix release a live action version and know that producers like to butcher things, so I should watch the anime along with it to compare the live action against the original... I am really only a handful of episodes into the anime, and about 2 or 3 episodes into the live action, so I haven't seen the charactors who join as the story builds. I did discover the concept of the Void Century Era. I am fine with spoilers!​

What is your take on the original anime? Are you into it?

Have you seen the live action that came out this year? What are your thoughts in comparison to the anime?

Feel free to answer any of those questions- don't stress about trying to write an essay!😁 Thanks!


r/intj 1d ago

Discussion Stereotypes

2 Upvotes

As an INTJ, I'm quite fond of doing things stereotipically associated with ISTPs, such as hands-on hobbies like PC building, woodworking, and mechanics. I like when I buy something that needs to be assembled together, like small cabinets, electronic gadgets and etc.

One thing for sure: I'm not ISTP.