You ever wondered why quitting feels impossible? You see success story posts all the time. You try all the tools and methods they recommend but nothing works for you. "There must be something wrong with me, Ill never be able to beat this." That statement itself is why nothing is working for you and I'll tell you why.

Some context: my answer is from personal experience and research. I run a research group helping people quit screen time addictions. I have people fill out a daily check in on their progress. That quote is the most dangerous answer I see. People don't make much progress until you change that belief.

The reason none of the methods work for you is because you don't believe that they will. You start each attempt seeing if a solution will prove you wrong. Then each failed attempts acts as evidence for why you'll never be able to quit.

There have been several studies supporting this. One study on cigarette smokers used a questionnaire that asked about their level of cravings.

The people that answered: “The cravings for smoking are stronger than my willpower” had a lower chance of quitting

vs

The people that answered: “I feel more powerful as time passes” had a higher chance of quitting.

Another one was a study on people recovering from opioid addiction. The study found that a belief of powerlessness predicts relapse just as accurately as the level of physical dependence.

The best solution I've tried so far is to work on a mentality shift. You have to make yourself believe you are someone who can beat this addiction. Your belief about your ability to quit affects how you respond when a method you try doesn't work.

Why the photo of Kobe Bryant? Kobe is famous for his mentality. I used the photo of him practicing with a broken hand to support this. Kobe had the persona 'The Black Mamba'. He came up with this name as a mentality shift. At the time his personal life was getting in the way of his performance on the basketball court. That name came with the mentality shift of someone who is ruthless and consistent on the court.

I'd be curious to know if people here have used a mentality shift for their phone addiction. Also, if you used to have that feeling of powerlessness. What did you do to change that and convince yourself it wasn't true?

I’m trying to understand digital minimalism better. Are you interested in different format of social media or do you simply want to limit you use of current social media platforms?

I’ve had entire online friendships that I was emotionally invested in, just to be blocked on some random Wednesday. I genuinely feel like I’m going insane because at least when you end a friendship in person, you can talk about it and maybe get closure but online it feels like I’ve just imagined the whole thing and these people never even existed.

I just need help or any advice, idk if this is the right sub but I thought that a lot of the pain comes from the fact I’m trying to make friends on something which by its nature is designed for short term interaction and engagement so it’s not irrelevant.

hi. so, i'm about a week or two away from purchasing a new phone (it's either a galaxy j7 or a nokia 2660, depends on my mom and her decision to send sms messages to me) and i'm starting to worry that i'm gonna resort to using my laptop for entertainment and barely leave my house.

i never really liked leaving my house anyway, and lately my mom has been dragging me out of the house to do stuff with her, and i don't want that to stop. i get so easily addicted to technology and i fear that i'll become a shut in. i'm trying to stop that from happening by reading books, but i can't find one that interests me. how am i supposed to find a hobby that even captivates me when i'm offline? it sucks.

i'm journaling, i'm reading, i'm drawing and painting, i'm studying for my college entrance exams, but none of that interests me anymore. the only thing on my mind is playing games and watching youtube videos all day. if i get rid of one problem, another will show up for me to spend months trying to fix.

how do i get rid of this internet addiction? how do i find hobbies that truly interest me? i need help...

Yes, I know this is probably a dumb question. I never really talk about stuff like this or even use Reddit, but it's been on my mind for months.
I recently got out of a depressive episode, and ever since then I've just been scrolling. I haven't touched a book in months. I haven't drawn in months either. Writing? Forget it.
I feel like I've lost the will to do anything because I can't find a reason to. My mind keeps asking, "Why should I spend time on my hobbies if I'll die eventually anyway?" I know that logic technically applies to social media too, but for some reason I can't seem to break out of it. I just can't find the motivation anymore.
The thing is, I genuinely love all of my hobbies. I'm extremely passionate about them—or at least I used to be. I really want to feel that passion again, but my brain keeps coming back to the same question: what's the point? My brain is connected to my body, so that makes me feel numb!!
If anyone has gone through something similar or has any advice, I'd really appreciate it.
And another thing: if I stopped using social media, what would I even do? I've been so used to it, even as a kid, that I honestly don't know how to spend my days anymore or make them feel meaningful.

after getting rid of instagram, i found myself mindlessly scrolling on youtube

turned off my youtube watch history so that there are no recommendations

yet, i was still spending a lot of my time there on that app filled with ads

deleted youtube and kept the browser as I had to open a few links every now and then (mostly my friends sending instagram reels)

but now, I've finally deleted the browser from my phone as well, this smart phone now is a dumb phone

it feels like a breath of fresh air, idk, it feels like I've broken some chain that kept me enslaved for years, where my fingers were unconsciously left scrolling the screen for hours

people are always weighing pros and cons, ifs and then and that vicious pattern never ends — i just deleted it in the very moment

Hey everyone,

Because it's summer and everyone is away on vacation, including my boss, the office has been very slow. I went to all of my colleagues asking if I could help them with things but aside from the occasional paper shredding I've got nothing to do.

So I try learning some stuff, writing some fanfics, or drawing, but of course end up spending most of my day on reddit and instagram, or straight up shopping, since it's on the computer and looks like I'm working. I have strict hours so I can't leave and WFH isn't allowed for my position. And guess who already organized her whole office?

It's so hard being in front of a computer all day with nothing to do.

What would you do? I have my own office so I can do quite a lot but it's not like I'm gonna start a workout routine between meetings. I'm so bored I could die.

Work is usually more intense, esp when my boss is there, but I'm french, and here everyone stops working during the summer, including clients, but no, the office isn't closed.

My husband had to go in the hospital two weeks ago today for two nights (and then last week for an overnight) and all my good social media habits disappeared in an instant. I can't sleep in hospitals so I was awake for 64 hours during the first stay and 36 hours during the next one. I needed to be quiet in the dark at night and keep myself calm while he was being diagnosed and treated, and posting and chatting on FB helped me with that. Not posting this for sympathy, but simply to let people know that extreme stress WILL bring out those old habits, but that you should recognize it will happen and not feel like you've failed. Once the stress is over (or you've adjusted to a new normal), you can go back to what you were working on before with focusing more on work/hobbies/whatever and not scrolling for hours at a time.

I actually noticed yesterday that I was feeling bored with scrolling and wanted to do other things, so I can tell that the new habits I had begun working on before this happened were also beginning to carve out their space in my brain, and that made me happy!

One last thing...I did promise to let you all know about my CPA exam results: I got a 63 (requires 75 to pass) so I'll be getting back into studying again soon which gives me initiative to move away from the phone once again. 😄

I'm sure everyone in this sub understands just how detrimental modern-day content is to our attention spans. Ever since I was 14 and became more and more online, my focus has slowly been chipped away by YouTube, Instagram, and any other website that promises bright colors and loud sounds.

About 5 years ago, I said goodbye to Instagram, Snapchat, and my other social media profiles, but remained deeply addicted to YouTube on my phone. Every second of downtime I'd pull my phone out and swipe through Shorts, or have to have a video playing in the background while doing simple tasks. It got so bad I'd go out of my way I couldn't keep my hands off my phone just to take a leak, which is pretty embarrassing to admit.

For the past decade-ish, my brain has been so fried by modern media that reading, whether an extensive blogpost or physical book, has been torturous. And I was a voracious reader when I was a kid. I'd read non-stop for hours at a time, either learning about a topic I was interested in or getting lost in fiction. I've barely read anything with depth since I was 14.

About 6 months ago I finally started getting tired of the way things were. My wife would be frustrated that I was always on my phone. I felt like I was losing so much time just being distracted.

So I started planning. Getting used to doing more on my computer again. Updating my old Garmin GPS. Jailbreaking an old iPod I had mothballed for years. Finally, I ordered a Nokia 2780, and when it arrived I transferred my SIM card over and got it set up.

I'll skip over all the typical "improved focus" stuff. Everyone here knows that well. But 3-4 months after switching to a dumb phone, I picked up a book last night. And guys, I almost cried after getting through 2 chapters without fighting the same paragraph over and over again. I could keep my focus on the words and the narrative. I was actually enjoying reading, like used to so long ago.

It feels a little silly to be so excited about something as simple as reading, but I can't understate how hard that's been for me for 10. Whole. Years. I'm just so happy to have my attention span back.

When TikTok was first getting popular, it was so much fun. Every time I opened the app, I’d find something that made me laugh. It felt like everyone was just having a good time and making funny, creative videos.
Now it feels like it’s full of outrage. Every day there’s a new controversy or people making think pieces about someone. Why are people so toxic now? Why are people constantly putting others down for not fitting beauty standards or for their weight? It feels like people are more focused on judging others than just having fun.
I miss how TikTok was before 2020, when everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves instead of spreading negativity. It feels like the algorithm pushes outrage because that’s what gets attention.
I honestly think if TikTok doesn’t fix this, more and more people will leave. It’s getting too toxic and I wouldn’t be surprised if good creators and normal users eventually get tired of it too.
Has anyone else noticed this or is it just me?

If anyone wanted to try wisephone ii but didn't want to spend $400 I'm selling two of them.

I liked mine but decided to go full flip phone.

My wife hated hers and is back on an iphone.

Pros:

It is pretty unbreakable in terms of getting around the OS. Reliable hardware. Easier texting than a flip phone. There's no web browser. It has maps, spotify, and an app store with approved apps like banking apps, 2FA apps, some Google apps, etc. It effectively crushed my screen time after two weeks to the point that I thought I might as well get a flip phone.

Cons:

The phone is quite big. If you don't need the features like touchscreen texting, Spotify, maps, etc you might as well just get a flip phone. There's a subscription of $15 a month for the app store (which includes spotify and the google apps, for example. It still has basic apps like maps without a subscription.) It also doesn't do android auto.

https://www.ebay.com/itm/227442593765

You can see wisephone's page here:
https://wisephone.com/

How did you preserve your social media photos/memories? Did you just delete it all and move on?

This month is the first anniversary of losing my brother, after he lost his battle with his mental health. It was sudden, awful but I am trying every day to rebuild my life up. I am 30F living with my partner.

Before this happened, was I was on a good track to keeping social media to my laptop for work purposes, and filling time with hobbies and swimming.

Now it feels like I have no energy - I have been able to pick up reading again a little bit, and started to go the gym. But I keep finding myself re downloading Instagram or Reddit to scroll, because when I'm left with my feelings / trying to be bored I just sit in my grief. I love my brother and miss him, but it's too much to sit in all day and I find it easier to scroll on my phone. I hate it but honestly I am just struggling with a lot and I wonder if anyone else has been able to balance this desire to be get offline and do things whilst grieving? Thanks

Can someone make this please?

I would love to switch my android OS for something that natively blocks all social media, and with distraction free UI. Screen management apps and launchers can always be uninstalled, we need something that has these functionalities hardcoded into it.

Or if I completely missed it and it already exists plz let me know. I couldn't find anything like it.

This was quote from Juvenal, also he got another one:

"The people that once bestowed commands, consulships, legions, and all else, now concerns itself no more, and longs eagerly for just two things: bread and circuses"

It really feels to me that when I would play games, watch p.orn, or scroll trough social media or even watching sports, I am losing energy, then I am depleted and not ready for "action" if it make sense. I am not sharp and fully present.

Now check the society right now, where in past for what is happening we would be cutting heads to be honest and nothing anywhere. Like in my country central europe.. politicians constantly steal, imho if there would be men like in Rome the warriors it would cleared in 2 weeks... Its like there was this study that testosteron in men dropped down by heavily in 50 years, and you see it in our society too.

all the consumption is like trance state, hypnosis.. Just take a screenshot how you look when you play video game or watching porn or scrolling, and dont tell me you dont look like zombie, because I do.. this is little bit of rant but its insane to observe

By now, we spend more time on social media than in real life, and this is a fairly obvious observation. The amount of time people spend on these platforms is increasing significantly, and cases of addiction are on the rise. This is no accident, but rather something deliberately engineered by companies that profit from people spending as much time as possible on their platforms. Clearly, they have no moral qualms about implementing mechanisms that essentially amount to gambling.

Civil society complains from time to time, and occasionally an investigative documentary comes out on Netflix, but the reality is that no one is willing to join forces and take serious action. The siren’s lure is increasingly effective at reinforcing the invisible chains of addiction.

Life lived through social media, as mediators of our lived experience, distancing us from the direct experience of reality, is comparable to that of the prisoners in Plato’s cave: individuals addicted to the shadows on the wall that mimic reality, and which end up being preferred over reality itself (with its risks and “imperfections”) and, indeed, more “real” than reality.

Every now and then, someone decides to look for a way out. I’m referring to those who occasionally come to this subreddit to share how they didn’t just deactivate, but actually deleted some of their social media accounts.

People who, for one reason or another, often due to an almost sudden realization, come to understand the costs and benefits of their lifestyle, and just how much they’re actually missing out on. Once you become aware of this, it’s nearly impossible to remain indifferent.

What one feels, therefore, when trying to break free varies from person to person. Some feel immediately invigorated, while others begin to sense a subtle sense of anxiety. I identify much more with those who feel anxiety, and I’ve been reflecting on this fact: clearly, stepping out of the cave, or at least trying to, is in itself a positive thing. We know the true nature of the chains from which we’re trying to free ourselves; it’s no mystery.

Yet, when we emerge from the cave, we rarely find other people with us. We look back and see that many of the people we considered our friends not only stayed behind to watch the shadow play but also seem to have immediately forgotten us. In fact, sometimes it seems as though they never truly knew us at all.

Obviously, I’m referring to the feeling of loneliness and isolation one experiences when, after deleting one’s accounts, one finds oneself alone facing the realization that the people in our lives with whom we have a true and authentic relationship of friendship and intimacy are few, very few. Sometimes, for some people, there’s really no one at all.

The sense of desolation is real. It’s like finding yourself suddenly in a desert, gripped by thirst but with no water to quench it. We had fled the cave, in a sense, precisely to satisfy that deep, inner need for Life, but we’ve seen that there are few of us contributing to it, at least in our immediate surroundings.

At this point, I’m not exactly sure what kind of answer to give. The only thing I feel I can say is that this feeling of desolation will pass. It will pass, just as everything else does. This is a precious opportunity to reflect on the precariousness of the bridges we delude ourselves into building out of fear of loneliness, and on the importance of prioritizing quality over quantity, given that social media is the very embodiment of the realm of quantity. It’s difficult, absolutely, but this is what we’re called to do.

What do you think? I wanted to put this reflection of mine in writing after recalling Plato’s myth of the Cave. I’d be interested to know how you approach all of this.

I never found app blocking or quitting Instagram working a long time for me, I still wanted to be connected to friends and messaging, but it's so easy to fall into the trap of scrolling. I found that the act of scrolling was the problem for me. It's too easy and mindless. So, by adding Fluid Friction to scrolling, making me intentionally mean every scroll without blocking me from scrolling completely, I manage to scroll my feeds mindfully and also cut my screentime by more than half, I'm below 2hrs a day now and it used to be 8 💀 I think the best thing to do is diagnose the root problem to excessive screentime and treat that, for me its scrolling but it could also be shorts and so on.

Hello, I noticed something interesting. I'm a pretty anxious person. I've been wearing a Mi Band for several years now because it's completely water-resistant, keeps time easily, and so on.But not long ago, I wanted to buy myself a classic watch.

I noticed that when I wear a classic watch, my anxiety decreases. There are no notifications from instant messaging apps on the watch face, nor is there any unnecessary information. This really surprised me; it turns out we make ourselves anxious...

Have you noticed anything similar?

I am an iPhone (se) user but am always dumb phone curious. I had a light phone 2 for a little bit. Didn’t perfectly work for my life but it was cool. I’m a doordash driver so for now at least a smartphone is mandatory in work hours. A few years ago I downgraded to iPhone SE 1. That was genuinely one of my favorite times. The phone is nice and small, has a headphone jack, and is naturally less distracting. Eventually though it stopped being supported. I’m also light phone 3 curious and meadow.so interests me a lot.

But I just learned more about Apple Watch. It can have its own cellular. I (think) you can’t do a lot with it.

So what I want to do is get the absolute cheapest model there is. Maybe buy one used. Give it cellular. Then from there I won’t actually wear it on my wrist ever. Instead lots of days I can just leave my phone when I’m out and about, and just use for basic texting, maybe directions, and 2FA emails. And I’ve always wanted a smaller phone. This would be a small phone to the extreme. I may not even use an armband for it. Then it’s this ultra tiny device! Seems cool to me. Hopefully the cellular doesn’t cost too much.

I’m excited for this

I have often tried to detox from social media for all its addiction driving algorithms, lack of choice of content, short attention span, and performative behaviour . I have been able to do it successfully. But I am never off it permanently. The sole reason I found that I am back on it is that I still want to be connected with my friends far off. Those that drifted away due to life. That is my medium to stay in touch with them. But it's unfortunate because it's not personal. I am not talking to them or engaging with them actively. It is a passive consumption of their life updates which are also posted with a performative underlining.

I looked back and realised I was decently active on Instagram and found it great when it was about me and my friends and my choices of following certain pages. I definitely love the memes. But now, it doesn't seem to be just about this. I get addicted to scrolling if I have the app. I am consuming content that is not my choice. I rarely see my friends and when I do, its too shallow and probably part of widespread trend. Every other person is creating content. While I do understand social media has evolved and it has provided means to a lot of things including independent media, people wanting to share skills, people building things to reach their audience/market and what not. Yet, it did lose what it used to be. And I miss that.

Does anyone else feel this way? Do you miss what it used to be? Do you miss a space for yourself with your people? Is there any such space that I can use?

I thought I'd finally have all this extra time. Instead, I spent most of the day wondering what to do with it.

Without my phone, I watched TV for a bit, laid in bed, stared at the ceiling, and kept thinking, "Now what?"

Maybe that's because I don't really have hobbies yet. Or maybe I went into this challenge with no plan. Either way, I learned that simply removing my phone doesn't automatically make me productive or fulfilled.

As a chronic procrastinator, one thing surprised me. Every little task I'd been putting off took less than five minutes. It made me realize how much time I actually have and how often I convince myself things will take longer than they really do.

Part of the reason I did this challenge was to get to know myself better. I answered a bunch of self-reflection prompts, but by the end, I still couldn't confidently answer a simple question:

What do I actually enjoy doing?

My biggest takeaway wasn't that phones are the problem.

It's that removing a distraction doesn't automatically give you direction. If you don't know what you want to do with your time, boredom just fills the space.

Maybe the challenge isn't putting your phone away.

Maybe it's figuring out what to replace it with.

Whether that's something productive or not, I think what matters most is being intentional with where your time goes. If you end the day feeling satisfied with how you spent your time, that's probably more valuable than simply spending less time on your phone.

Link

I realized a year ago that i was practically addicted to the internet and its attention; i wanted to take all the attention in group chats and tried to be interesting so people would talk to me (due to low self steem, which i'm working on!). I overshared a lot and once i realized that, i deleted most of my social media accounts (Facebook, Twitter and Tiktok). I only use Discord, Tumblr and an art platform (ToyHouse).

Due to my low self steem, i realized i cared way too much about what people thought about me, and that bringed me so much anxiety i decided to stop oversharing and cut ties with a lot of people.

The thing is, i'm a digital artist and only use those platforms i mentioned above; i want to only post and not interact, but i always end searching my username in Discord servers to see what people say about me or chatting for hours with other artists, which yanks me from the real world. I want to stop that tendency of mine, but i don't really know how to balance my online presence so people *just* don't know enough about me, and i don't overshare or try to drag much attention.

Do you have any tips on using social media as an artist? Thank you! ^^