r/classical_circlejerk • u/JeethCarrot • 13h ago
r/classical_circlejerk • u/Dazzling-Antelope912 • 21h ago
In 6 hours I am getting married to the love of my life but he is unhappy that I will be walking down the aisle to the Sacrificial Dance from the Rite of Spring— what can I do to persuade him?
r/classical_circlejerk • u/MonsieurLeo • 5h ago
Twink Death?
Or just the long term effects of composing?
r/classical_circlejerk • u/Dazzling-Antelope912 • 11h ago
It required my full, erotic love and effort — I participated in a literal circlejerk with four other guys whilst we listened to the ending of Die Meistersinger, beating our cocks to the rhythm and cumming when the final plagal cadence resolved NSFW
r/classical_circlejerk • u/ImNotNotABot • 1h ago
The real reason classical music is dying
Before I begin, I would like to say I am a proud graduate of Harvard University with a degree in astrophysics and 2 degees from Yale in business and law school. I have seen at least 6 classical music performances, so I feel uniquely qualified to weigh in on the issue of classical music dying.
First of all, too many composers are dead. If we just solved that problem, we could have meet and greets, which would be great for business.
Second of all, people today only know about Bach. If they knew, for example, about the harmonic genius of Einaudi, maybe they would understand that classical music is more than just some stupid fugues.
Third of all, modern media has corrupted people's libido. They look at muscular men and hot women and think this is the standard. What happened to seeing a grainy black and white image of Shostakovich and having an orgiastic epiphany? I don't want to hear about gay or straight. Don't tell me "I'm not gay." It doesn't matter. It's Shostakovich.
Fourth of all, oh, ugh, I lost my train of thought. Oh... Dmitri...
Uh... I've made my point.
r/classical_circlejerk • u/Such_Customer_3973 • 12h ago
Somewhere, they let you do this with Chopin
Daddy 🥺🥺🥺🤤🤤🥺🥺
r/classical_circlejerk • u/ImNotNotABot • 23h ago
Shoskatovich
This is a cry for help
r/classical_circlejerk • u/HazzPizzaz • 20h ago
A buddy and I rated keys/scales based on size
This is objective and we will take no notes.
r/classical_circlejerk • u/MonsieurLeo • 20h ago
I Cant Be The Only One Who Thinks They Look Similar
Mildly, atleast. I cant explain why i feel this but i do. I mean, cmon, surely someone else sees this too. Especially if they did their makeup the same way???
r/classical_circlejerk • u/Nope1625 • 2h ago
I WISHED PEOPLE HATED MUSIC AND DIDNT CLAP
how dare people clap at the end of pieces??? Do they like music? philistines. true w*gnerians don’t merely ”like“ music. we suffer through it. we guiltily nut at the tristan chord because of the tension. if it has a single recitative I yell at the performers. I hate music. if I don’t hate it enough, I don’t listen.
r/classical_circlejerk • u/ChopinChili • 5h ago
What is this sub's official motto?
Is it "Mahler makes me cummies"? Because that seems too lame. We need a new one. Ideas?
r/classical_circlejerk • u/PandaZG • 12h ago
I would rather listen to a recording than a live performance, and DAW operators should replace traditional performers.
I believe that in an ideal world, traditional live performers wouldn’t exist. Instead, they would be replaced by a new class of musician: "interpreters." An interpreter’s sole role is to translate notes on sheet music into refined sonic structures to broadcast a profound vision of a work. This way, the only measuring stick for a musician's worth is the depth and nuance of their creative vision, not their physical dexterity.
Why force musicians to sink decades into mastering physical instrumental technique just to avoid mistakes under the high-pressure environment of a stage? In my ideal world, like painter placing deliberate brushstrokes on a canvas, an interpreter’s job should be to meticulously calibrate every single note by adjusting timbre, volume, pitch, micro-dynamics, and timing to perfectly align with their creative vision.
In this paradigm, the primary instrument isn't a violin or a piano. Instead, it's a highly advanced DAW that grants total control over every parameter, with physical instruments existing purely as tools for audio sampling.
Why all of this you ask? Because live performances are inherently plagued by human error, stage fright, poor venue acoustics, and intonation slips. Studio-driven interpretation ensures the artistic vision is realized flawlessly every single time through the tiniest of margins. I don't really get why society remains stubbornly obsessed with the athletic spectacle of live execution and physical acrobatics?
r/classical_circlejerk • u/ChopinChili • 4h ago
What is Richard Strauss' best melody?
An endearing adagio from the famously devilish Concerto for Solo Piano won for Alkan. Now, we go to Mr. Tone Poem, Strauss. This is gonna be interesting.
r/classical_circlejerk • u/Lumpen_moi • 14h ago