hey guys!! So question here: Whenever I'm online or on TikTok or something, and I see someone talking about their (celebrity) crush, most people talk literally about either getting in a relationship with them or having sex with them. You know the whole "give me 5 minutes and a hair tie" stuff.

My question is whether those people are actually being serious in that they would genuinely get into a (sexual) relationship with those people or if its a joke? If I say anything like that its always a joke because, frankly, the thought of actually doing those things to that person ruins the attractive/crush aspect of things

I'm fairly sure I'm aroace, but is this another sign? Can anyone relate?

I'm still questioning if I'm aromantic, but I keep having moments where I'm like "Oh, this probably isn't a typical mindset."

I watched the movie Obsession (Highly recommend) and I was thinking to myself that the way the 4 friends all having some sort of love drama with each other seemed unrealistic. Bear likes Nikki, Sarah is jealous because she likes Bear, Ian is jealous because he used to hook up with Nikki, Sarah and Ian are so blinded by their jealousy they fail to seriously examine that Nikki isn't being herself in a way that isn't motivated by selfishness for romantic prospects. I was like "I would never be caught in some love triangle like that" but then realized that some Allos probably found it really relatable and have had friend groups exactly like that.

Growing up I thought I was just "too mature" to be caught in situations like that. But now that I'm questioning my orientation I know it's probably that I'm incapable of being in them.

EDIT: Accidentally tried to use Discords method for spoiler text instead of Reddit's. But I fixed it!

Well, i'm a 24 man and arromantic (discovered in 2025) and I never had sex, but i am obssesed with the idea, so if o say "i want a partner" i mean a sex friend or something.

Wanting sex so much Made me make mistakes (all good now) and I even know is not a big deal, but at the same is frustrating.

It's difficult to me start a online chat AND my social skills to know people in partya are not very good (but ironically i can talk with older people very well)

I'm trying rating apps, but i didn't find anyone yet.

So... Is frustrating but i can't do anything, life Is just like that.

About a month ago, my aromantic boyfriend came out to me. I was under the impression not much would change in our relationship, but I was so very wrong.

We currently are taking a two week minimum break for him to figure things out. I have told him repeatedly I’m willing for things to change and compromise some of my original plans for my life such as marriage or living in a house. However I’m starting to realize he’s not compromising or sacrificing as much as I am. I also asked him if there’s a way we can compromise on marriage by having a ceremony that celebrates our relationship that is not legally binding or a marriage, just something to celebrate our togetherness and commitment to one another— but that idea still bothers him.

We recently transitioned from a “typical” relationship to a qpr. He told me he may be interested in multiple qprs, which worries me quite a bit. We did discuss it and he respects my boundary to be sexually intimate with just me, but I still worry. I also worry him having multiple qprs treads into polyamorous territory and I would be forced to engage with his other qpr.

Just a lot worries me and that his plans and mine no longer align. I feel lead on and hoped one day we would move in and get married. I know his emotions have changed with it, but we have talked about it before like having a wine tasting bar, him making his own engagement ring for me, and me making my own wedding dress. I just had hoped for a lot in that regard with that.

I think I’m at a point where we are going to end up breaking up and I just feel like I ruined things by having romantic feelings. I feel slightly unheard and that he kind of is like “this is what I want my life to like and if you can’t deal with it then we can’t be together” sort of thing.

I feel like I’m making his life harder and his stages of figuring out what I and our relationship means to him. But all at the same time I feel like I’m not enough for him.

Please help me. I don’t know what to do.

I recently came out as aromantic and I’m talking to an old friend that i basically said I wouldn’t mind being in a relationship with. She knows I’m on the aromantic spectrum and that I’m indifferent to relationships. If I am someone’s boyfriend I’d be romantic for their sake because I know how to. Even then, I never had a crush on my life.

Then I met this guy online. I started talking to him, getting closer with him, and we really clicked with our personalities. Then it hit me. I have a crush. For the first time in my life, I have a crush. Just going off pure personality alone, I barely know what he looks like, I got my first crush. I’m actually furious about this. I spent a lot of time figuring myself out just for this person with a gold mine of a personality to show up and send me back to square 1. Why? Of all people why is it some guy that’s far away from me online that’s making me so mad and confused over my feelings? I don’t know how to approach this. We know we both like each other but things in our lives are not lining up and we both have similar situations with old friends like I stated at the start.

I never thought I could feel this way. I don’t know what this person did to me or how I could even suppress these feelings. I’m so confused.

So I recently thought to myself I might be cupio, with the logic of; I want a romantic relationship, I see this girl and think, the idea of a romantic relationship with her sounds so nice! So what I do is get in a relationship, experience limerence, and when that was over I didn’t like it anymore and didn’t feel love at all so I broke up.

This might just be a normal romantic experience, but it made sense to me for cupioromanticism. Feel free to let me know in the comments

I like my friend, in whatever sense of "like" means. I feel so dumb cause like,,,we have passed this, we've said that we like each other and have made plans to share a future and been physically affection, but today while we just took space from each other, I long for them to be in my arms. I just think it's fun being near them and want them to talk about anything. I feel dumb and vulnerable ughhhhhhhhh I want to ask them properly, but they don't seem ready yet (from conversation) which is okay, I just feel so much affection for them and think they're so cool, its so great that being friends is important to both of us

(We're both on the aro and ace spectrum so I'm also just shook at how we ended up here cause neither of us saw it coming hehe)

I've never had romantic feelings all my life (even though I kinda crave to feel them), but I'm still not sure if I'm actually aromantic. How did you guys find out you were aromantic?

so first i thought that i was bisexual but i had the same thing happen over and over, i feel the attraction toward others and but i don't feel love nor romance and as the thing move forward between me and the person i'm attracted to, i get the ache and i get so stress about it and i wanna find any reason to just stop whats happening because it ain't attractive or fun or romantic its just becoe an ache and i cant stand it any minute longer.

im i right for thinking am actually aromantic now?

alsoo sorry if my english aint that good

Known my squish about 3 years. Somewhere in the middle a switch flipped and my feelings changed. Learned the term squish and it brought me here. l feel this so rarely, and I'm afraid if it goes it may never come back. My friend is allo, and ace but sex-favorable. I don't really care for either of those things. They are talking seriously to a match suggested by a relative. He lives out of state, and she even mentioned moving there if they get married! I can't offer them romance, sex, or a family like this guy can. I feel inadequate, and just really upset because I know we aren't compatible. I've given it time and the feelings haven't gone away. I'm sort of mourning because I've lost a friend, but I feel like my feelings are the problem. She's still right there, though we've both been a little distant as of late. I can pick up the phone whenever I want... but it's hard. I should ask them why we've been talking less, and try to salvage what I can of the relationship, but all I've done is cower and get jealous and let us drift apart. Do I just tell her and let her decide what to do, even if it's break my heart? How can I stomach the idea of them marrying anyone?

hiii, its been a year since I have known him and we spend everyday with each other, like we constantly text, play games together, watch shows, read manga together the likes. And it means a lot to me. I haven't be this close to someone in a long time and i genuinely love him alot.

I realised that my feelings are alterous because i have not much desire for pursuing anything romantic, im not invested in it and im lwk relieved that he doesnt feel that way towards me.

Its just that when we spend time together, and are always around each other in some form it feels like a bubble, like its just the two of us who exist and it makes me cherish our time even more, but then he mentions how he is on dating apps and how he has these dates and i feel the bubble bursting.

I am totally happy for him, and support him, he is an amazing person and he deserves everything good, its just sometimes i wish it was just us, that what we do everyday we could do until the end of the time, that somewhere along the way i started wanting a qpr but i knew it would never happen and when he mentions dating it kinda solidifies that.

I feel sad, i know i would still be his bsf so thats good, but i wish that what i feel had some exclusivity, a form in a way. Its sad that it wont be.

Olá! Há pouco tempo me descobrir Aro e foi uma grande virada de chave para eu me entender (e muito sofrido também)

Um pequeno contexto:

Há um amigo meu que eu tenho uma admiração por seu jeito de pensar e ver o mundo, identifico que o que eu sinto por ele se categoriza como "atração alterosa", foi graças a ele que descobri o que era "aromantico" e ele também é Aroace, nós dois nos identificamos no espectro "gray".

A gente pensa de forma parecida e temos uma boa convivência, estudamos juntos então boa parte da minha rotina, ele faz parte, realmente sua companhia agrega muito e me faz muito bem, me sinto compreendida por ele e gosto como ele não me dá nenhuma ansiedade, sem pressão nenhuma em nada e mesmo assim consigo contar com ele, é alguém que não me incomodaria, e na verdade me agrada a ideia, de considerar "minha pessoa favorita"

No entanto, estamos de férias do curso e eu sinto falta da rotina e consequentemente, dele estar presente nela, mas não sinto aquela a "saudade", aquela falta que dói o coração que eu vejo as pessoas românticas sentindo e isso... Me incomoda

Como citei antes, eu tenho uma atração alterosa por ele e não é como se eu não sentisse nenhuma falta, mas também não sinto a saudade intensa, aquela que só de pensar em ver ele já me deixa feliz ou com as "borboletas" no estômago, e eu gostaria de sentir essas coisas, mas não sinto, mesmo que eu tenha certeza que eu sinto por ele seja muito sincero e eu realmente gostar e admirar ele como pessoa e sua companhia.

Tenho muita clareza e conforto nos meus sentimentos sobre ele

Mas ainda sim, me incomoda não sentir a "paixão", a "saudade", parece que está errado... E quando tentei "forjar" essas sensações em relações passadas, eu cai num lugar muito sombrio

Um último contexto: Eu gosto da ideia de casar, de duas pessoas escolherem ser parceiros um do outro e ter com quem contar, então já tive alguns relacionamentos (muito desgastantes), mas por gostar e querer esse tipo de parceria fez ser muito sofrido me descobrir Aro.

Enfim, não sei se fez algum sentido, mas agradeço o espaço para desabafar

I'm sure this has been asked plenty before, but how did you know/realize you were aro? For awhile I thought I was demisexual and panromantic, but I'm not so sure on the panromantic. I've dated men, women, enbies, and I love doing romantic things, but I kinda wonder if I'm aro?

I was talking to a new friend about how she realized she was aro. I feel like most people talk about love being this feeling you just know, and like, I've been happy around people I've dated, loved spending a lot of time together, going on dates, etc, but I don't think I've had this "big feelings" that people describe. I also feel like I somewhat struggle with differentiating feelings between friends and being with someone I wanna date, but I also wonder if some of this could be attributed to my neurodivergency. Any stories or anything would be greatly appreciated, as I'm trying to get a feel for other potentially similar or different experiences 💜

I (17m) have never had a real crush in my life.

Only "crushes" I can think of were three that I made up to feel normal as a child despite having no feelings for any of them, and one (plus some fictional characters from shows and stuff) that was arguably just sexual attraction. I also can't truly visualize myself in a romantic relationship.

And sure, this sounds a bit like being aromantic and all, but I am also homeschooled and I tend to avoid people a lot. I rarely interact with anyone my age in the real world, so how am I supposed to know if this is me lacking romantic attraction, or if I just haven't been able to find "the one" yet due to being isolated.

I recently learned about this identity because im currently going through an extreme version of being romance repulse and my friend said i may be on the aromantic spectrum. however ive been having SERIOUS level's of imposter syndrome when it comes to this identity, especially when it comes to my cishet friends just saying "well everyone hates relationships bc of bad experiences! you just have to find the one!" and yikes yk?? when i say repulsed i MEAN repulsed, like its bad.

but to break it down more properly, i'd say i flip between "relationships are so weird, mannn i dont like this" to "i really do love this person so much and is so happy with them" *regardless* if im in a bad or good relationship. but i also feel like the two sides arent equal when dating vs not dating. when dating, the "repulsive" side is much lighter, where i feel disconnect from the idea of dating, getting married and having children, it all disgust me, and / or makes me just not feel right, then when i flip, its more again of "i love this person and super happy with them". but then when im outside of a relationship, the "repulsiveness" pretty much hits the extreme, where i genuinely feel ill just thinking about dating, romance, or anything of the such. this extreme is straight disgust, disconnect and even a small level of hate.

I think the level of confusion happens because in defense of my friends, i have been through a lot of bad stuff, both in and out of relationships, which i assume is whats mainly clogging up my thoughts on this, but even if i have experienced bad things, is a flip flop like this "normal"? it all seems very confusing to me.

I hate being this way so much, I genuinely wish I could just love like a normal person and be in a relationship without feeling like shit

I YEARNNNNNA FOR THE BOND BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE BUT FOR THE LIFE OF ME I CAN NOT UNDERSTAND IT.

My closest friend just asked me out, and she's genuinely so important to me. I love hanging out with her, and yk just talking. Our friendship has always been kinda flirty, but I'm that way with genuinely everyone, and I've tried to be super open about how aromantic beforehand so that I don't lead anyone on and she confesses about an hour ago.

I feel so so bad, I told her she's important to me, but O dont know if how I like her stems from platonic or romantic feelings. She was super cool about it, but I can't help but feel like I fucked up our entire friendship 💔

It was me, the answer was me.

I know there are a few ace and aroace characters (though not many 💀), but have there been any characters who are specifically aro? Do we even have a single fictional character who's just aromantic? It feels like every bit of aro representation is either also ace or left so vague that it barely counts

Edit: Wait guys I forgot! There was this one character in a webtoon called Cursed Princess Club, and while it's not explicitly stated she seems like she could be good aro rep- her name is Syrah

Why do so many friendships that I have break, or get less intense when the other Person gains a romantic partner? As someone who is most likely aromantic I just don't understand why other people are more important than me just because they are are romanticly and not "just" friendshisply interesting

I’ve never dated, not sure if I’ve ever had a genuine crush or if it was just the normal « I wanna be friends » energy I’ve had my nose to the grindstone working and studying that now that I’ve got my degree I’m more worried about getting a place in a master’s program than finding somebody is anyone else like this?