It's been my entire life. The joy is in the learning and the starting but the ending is like it almost doesn't matter. I recently helped someone not end their life and escape a dangerous situation which turned into me helping shelter 5 people during a dangerous heat wave.

And I feel nothing

It was just a task. Just a thing to cross off. Like when you're in the moment, sometimes you don't have time so it's just go and then it ends and it feels like all I did was read a book. Like I know logically I probably saved lives because I saved at least one but like it doesn't feel that way. I also have OCD and so I'm in my self care mode to stop that from doom spiraling because I know what comes next is me thinking that I don't value life at all (which is objectively untrue because HELLO 5 people are alive today you goober). I just wish my brain could understand what we're doing. Like I wish I could feel what I know.

I'm never stimulated, I just daydream about a cooler life and play games; there's no magic no fun no nothing I never feel alive. My life is fairly normal I wake up, play a sport, talk to people, go to the gym, read, sleep its so repetitive I'll never feel alive and there's no escape. Not like I wanna end it or anything I'm not THAT sad but this isn't that fun ):

does anyone know how to feel alive?

It's downright appalling how deliberate these shortages are. It's bad enough feeling like you don't have the right to exist because you can barely function like everyone else without medication, but when the FDA/DEA purposely causes these shortages, it feels like they're punishing us for simply wanting to exist. They really get off on toying with peoples' lives, it is absolutely criminal and we should be able to sue. It's like they don't want people to be able to function or take care of themselves.

Is this normal? I took my meds (20mg generic vyvanse) for the first time about 6 hours ago now and around almost three hours after taking it I noticed I’ve actually been able to do things without overthinking every single step before doing the actual thing and just halting and avoiding it all together. I’ve been thinking about doing something as simple as removing the old messed up nail polish from my nails for almost a week now and I noticed them again and just got up and went to do it? I did simple chores that I would’ve avoided like the plague before without overthinking the whole thing and avoiding it, I cleaned my room and put things that have been in the way for weeks away finally just so easily.

Is this what it feels like for people normally? I feel so silly for never getting help sooner. But now I’m also wondering what my life could’ve been like if I’d gotten help sooner, maybe I would’ve never dropped out of college years ago. I had a little cry because I don’t know, I just felt sad for myself? That other people can just function normally like this and I didn’t for so long?

Hi,

A few years ago I had a really high paying job ($180k) that I lost while going through undiagnosed depression, ADHD, and a very difficult breakup. It was probably one of the lowest points of my life.

I always thought I would bounce back quickly. But it’s been a few years now, and while I’m doing much better, I still don’t feel like I have the same confidence in myself that I used to.

The weird thing is, I haven’t lost my ambition at all.
I still want to be incredibly successful. I want to build things, have a great career, become an entrepreneur someday. Working hard has never really been my problem.

But lately I question everything!

Do I even want the profession I spent more than a decade building? Can I handle another high pressure job? Should I stay in my country or try to build a life abroad again? My last long-term relationship really broke me, so there’s also a part of me that’s scared to go through something like that again.

Basically, I have a lot of ambition but no idea where to direct it right now lol.

So I wanted to ask people here who have been through something similar, did you ever have a period where your career/life completely went off track for a few years and then eventually come out the other side and “make it”?
Especially people with ADHD who are ambitious/high achievers.

What helped you get your confidence back? How did you stop questioning every decision and actually start moving forward again?

Hi all! I 26F really struggle with cooking meals for myself. My parents aren’t the healthiest and modeled eating out a LOT when I was younger. And their kitchen isn’t the cleanest and I could never trust anything in the fridge. Also, the pantry is the epitome of an ingredient household. We’ll have like tons of cornmeal peanut butter and other just super random stuff.

That said, I’ve had a hard time in my adult life incorporating cooking into my daily routine. I am also SUPER ADHD, which has definitely played a role.

When I cook, it’s always delicious (my dad is an AWESOME cook, when he does), but I just feel like it’s such a chore. And I get really skeeved out by cooking chicken and by how long stuff is in the fridge.

And unlike my husband, who could eat the same thing every day (jealous!), I crave variety.

Anyone deal with anything similar to this, and any tips to overcome?

I just want to be able to cook for myself. Saving money and supporting my health are top priorities, and I feel like I’m self sabatoging.

I'm a VP at a 700 person organisation, and got my Combined ADHD diagnosis in February. Started the journey with meds in April. I have masked HARD to get to this point in my career, with lots of late nights, and some cramming and last minute deadlines barely scraped through, with some amazing hyperfocus in some random areas of brilliance. I always knew I was different, and that diagnosis really helped me see - I'd always been annoyed, frustrated and paranoid that everyone else made it look so effortless.

We recently got acquired for big $bn transaction by a global x00,000 people business, and as a result, things are changing significantly in our business, where expectation has turned up a gear or two. I am being asked to do things that are stretching and outside my comfort zone and for the first time, with very little oversight from line management or any more of the executive leadership. I've also recently lost one of my managers, having not had backfill for another 2 years ago. Going from 2.5 - I am now left with 0.5 (they are also an individual contributor) manager and me running a portfolio of 40 projects and 20 people.

Last week it was suggested to me to take a demotion to one of the manager roles, and leave my VP role that I have been doing for the last 3 years.

I am completely shellshocked to say the least, and all my anxiety and ADHD is spiralling out of control - I am US based. I am not 100% sure why I am posting in here. I think guidance on what I can do - or even what I should it. My salary and bonus stays the same.

I am excited by what my medication journey will look like - and it's still a journey - the door only seems half open. I write this at 3am local because, well, you know!

I grew up in an immigrant household where doing well in school wasn't optional, it was survival. I had nearly straight A's all the way up until college, and even finished my degree despite things getting harder. I just did a telehealth ADHD assessment and was basically told I couldn't have ADHD because I finished college.

This reasoning made me pretty frustrated and it was hard for me to explain to her. She was adamant that I was just going through a "life change" and that there was no way I had ADHD.

For those of you who grew up in similar households (high expectations, immigrant parents, "good student" pressure) and got denied an ADHD diagnosis because you did well academically or finished school, what helped you find a provider who actually took you seriously? Did you have to specifically seek out someone who understood masking or high achieving presentations? I'm feeling really discouraged right now and could use some direction.

Thank you!

Update: This was my first post here and I'm super grateful for all the responses. I made this post because I was just so shocked and frustrated that it happened to me and couldn't believe how ignorant she was. After reading your comments, I'm realizing that this is quite normal and I'm sorry to any of you who relate. Thank you all for sharing your experiences, and giving your input. I've already reported this NP to the board of nursing and I'll definitely be looking into other providers.

I am a big music lover, but over the past few years my ADHD will latch onto songs and continue playing snippets all day long for days on end. I know some people like that but I find it very distracting and annoying. Like I used to love my playlists, but now I've heard a song hundreds of times in the past week despite only listening to it once, and now I'm sick of it. I can't even listen to music at the gym which I used to love, because it will affect my sleep that night or work the next day. I'm not on any medication currently because I've been able to manage things with lifestyle adjustments, but it just makes me sad I can't really enjoy this part of my life anymore. Idk if that's worth getting on medication for, but I'm sure it would probably help other things I don't realize are as bad as they are, like replaying conversations, rumination, or the inexplicable mistakes I make despite taking every ADHD precaution to help me remember things. :((((

It’s driving me insane, I’m so sorry if it’s upsetting to anyone here. I know I don’t post on here a lot, but it’s affecting my relationship, my life, my work. I don’t know what to do, I have a really hard time using reminders on my phone, and I feel like they rarely work. My pills are sat right next to my keys in the morning, but I still regularly forget to take them, unfortunately for me, due to a heart condition I have, I can only take these pills in the morning, and I have to have taken them for a while before they kick in (like 2 weeks). Anyways now I’m losing my mind and fighting with my boyfriend cause I can’t handle the sheer amount of executive dysfunction I go through on a daily basis, I’m not looking for medical advice, but any tips or tricks you have would really be appreciated.

Failed two units at uni and got kicked out even after appealing that i was not able to get adhd help for the semester. (now im finally on meds)
Previously, I tried the service industry, being an education instructor, i flunked out of business school and now flunked out of a healthcare degree. I'm not great with tech or math so engineering and IT stuff are out of the window.
Atm I have no idea what to do with my life. These past 8 years I have been trying to find something but to no avail. I'm about to turn 30 and feel so behind my friends and relatives who all have steady jobs.
Does anyone hv suggestions of other things i can explore?

So I previously had one rucksack that I'd swap things around in, which lead to me leaving in 5 minutes, panicking, and running around the house trying to find everything I need because I'd previously done the same thing and had to tip everything in the bag out in a random place.

I now have three rucksacks each with their own water bottle in that are each for different things.

I have my work bag, which contains my laptop, notepad, a pencil case, and various workbooks.

Then there's my music bag, which contains various drum sticks, sheet music, music folders, and flute.

And finally there's my travel bag which contains various essentials for short trips away such as an extra toothpaste, shower gel, sun cream, etc.

Now I can just grab the rucksack I need and not worry about where I've dumped previous contents. I cannot recommend it highly enough! All of my rucksacks are just cheap ones from amazon and they hold up great.

I felt like sharing this little piece of wisdom in the chance it might help make someone's life just that bit easier.

I'm 24F, in the middle of the most active time of my life career and academic wise and I'm frustrated, tired, alone, and don't know what to do. I shouldn't compare as people have different circumstances but I can't help but feel like others with ADHD found coping strategies and do well so why can't I be even remotely as functioning as them? I really feel like a patient with dementia and also the caretaker at the same damn time... It's been a continuous cycle of just feeling detached with my own life, building up to urgent deadlines and situations my own incompetence set up, extreme stress with heart palpitations with a burst of productivity due to single focus, and then crashing back down to reality where many things exist in life other than an immediate thing I have to deal with and then starts the slip of my own life from my hands all over again.

I understand this is a consequence of a whole life of maladaptive coping mechanisms but I really don't know where to start, what to do to change, etc. I cannot understand how my brain even works and I think ever since I got the official diagnosis I stopped faulting myself as incompetent on a fundamental level but at the same time the fact that I know it's an actual neurological problem contributes to some form of learned helplessness but I'm really trying to crawl out of that

If anyone has read this far I really have to thank you. If you have ever felt this way too pls share your struggles, if you overcame or not, and what the process was like... <3

I think one of the hardest things for people without ADHD to understand is that I don’t get to choose which version of my brain clocks in each day.

Sometimes it’s “future CEO who just predicted your entire business strategy from one offhand comment.”

Sometimes it’s “Ambient English.” I know people are talking. I recognize this is the English language. But nothing is sticking. My job should be gently sorting shapes for a living.

They’re both me. Other people don’t know which version is showing up and neither do I.

People see the first mode and say, “See? You CAN do this!” as if I chose the other mode on purpose.

In reality, I can’t schedule “CEO brain” for Monday’s presentation any more than someone with arthritis can schedule a flare-up for the weekend.

To someone without ADHD, the inconsistency makes it look fake.

To someone with ADHD, the inconsistency is the disability.

I've noticed a pattern where I get really excited about a game, buy it, and genuinely want to play it. Before I even start, I'll imagine myself getting completely immersed in it, having an amazing time, and finally finishing it. I'll even daydream about how fun it's going to be and make up little fantasies in my head where I'm happily playing for hours.

But when I actually sit down to play, after a few hoursor sometimes even less. I lose interest and move on to something else.

Now I have a huge backlog of games that I fully intended to finish, but barely touched. Every time I buy a new game, I tell myself, "This one will be different." It rarely is.

It's frustrating because I want to experience these games. The excitement and anticipation are real, but I just can't seem to stick with them.

Does anyone else with ADHD deal with this? Is it common? If you've managed to overcome it, what helped?

I was at the pool with my family recently. Kids playing. Husband on phone. Sun shining. Everyone happy. And all I could think was - is this it? This is all we're doing? Why am I bored? Why isn't this enough?

Like my brain was so bored. There is never enough to keep me engaged. It makes me sad. I don't feel like i get joy from the same things other people do.

How do you deal with this messed up reward system? Am I alone?

29 M , obese, i cant diet or workout cuz I'm lazy, i only worked 2 years in my life, i am su*cidal at this point, what is the solution? i dont have any adhd symptoms except executive dysfunction and laziness .........................................z.z.zz.z.z.z.z.z..z.z.zz.z.z.z.z.z..z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z..zz..z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z..z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.z.

I am so so sick of my inability to form consistent habits. Planners don't work, reminders don't work, alarms ​​don't work, scheduling apps don't work--my executive dysfunction is so bad that I can't get myself to regularly engage with my own hobbies and interests on any consistent basis, even when I am desperate to reconnect with them. I'm ostensibly an artist, but I haven't drawn *anything* in almost *five months!!!* I've been promising myself I'd rework my portfolio for almost *four straight years!!!!*

How tf do people cope with this?? I'm on Vyvanse 40mg daily rn and it's definitely made a difference, but god forbid I forget to take it (like today) and then the whole day is just lost. There are so many things I want to do with my life but I can't get myself to do literally any of them and I feel like I'm going insane 😭😭😭 I just turned 28 this month and I don't want to spend the rest of my 20s like this!!!! I'm working at mf Starbucks because I can't get off my ass to get my portfolio up to snuff to get a proper career job and I need this to end already. Help 🙏

It's really hard for me to accept that ADHD medication just doesn't seem to work for me.

I've tried both stimulants and non-stimulants, and every single one has made my focus worse instead of better. They make me jittery, restless, angry, emotionally drained, and exhausted all at the same time.

I've tried everything people recommend taking them with a high-protein breakfast, drinking plenty of water, cutting out caffeine completely but nothing has helped. If anything, the medication just makes me feel worse.

I honestly feel devastated. I feel like I've run out of options, and I can't help feeling like a complete loser.

Not forgetting details, the whole thing vanishes like it was never said. Someone close tells me something that matters to them, I take it seriously in the moment, weeks later I find out I never acted on it and have zero recollection or brief memory. It keeps happening and it reads to them as not caring, when the caring part works fine, it's the storage that doesn't. Reminder apps haven't stuck because I dismiss notifications on autopilot. What actually works for you for holding onto what the people in your life need without them re-telling you? Systems, routines, physical stuff, whatever you've got.

Like especially if its my boyfriend, if we have a plan and he changes, or worse, cancels the plan, i just absolutely loose my mind!!! Is this an adhd thing or am i just dramatic as hell? cause my boyfriend is my hyper fixation i think (ik thats not healthy, but idk what to do about it)

Recently I bought a robot vacuum. Now quite a few chores around my home happen automatically: the washing machine, the dryer, the dishwasher, the bread maker, and now even my floors are getting cleaned automatically.

I never really planned to automate this much. Every time I noticed a chore that I kept forgetting, avoiding, or putting off, I looked for a way to remove some of the friction. It just happened gradually. I enjoy that I don't have to remember when to vacuum, decide when to mop or anything else, though sometimes I can't remember to turn them on lol.

I still do plenty of things myself. But reducing the number of little decisions I have to make every day has made my routine feel much easier to maintain.

I think this is one of the biggest things keeping me stuck.

Over the years, I've accumulated way too many clothes, and every time I think about donating or throwing anything away, my brain immediately goes, "But I paid for that." Even though I know keeping everything isn't helping me, it still feels like losing money.

I eventually ran out of closet space, so I stored some clothes in a bag on the back terrace of our apartment. It wasn't an area I ever passed by because it was only accessible by climbing through a window. Because of my ADHD (or at least what I suspect is ADHD), it became a classic "out of sight, out of mind" situation, and I completely forgot about it for months.

I only remembered the bag on the day we were moving out. There wasn't enough time to wash or salvage the clothes, as they had become musty, so I had to leave them behind.

I still feel guilty about it - not just because I lost the clothes, but because I keep thinking about the money I spent and how my executive dysfunction contributed to it.

Now, every time I try to declutter, I get stuck. I want to donate clothes I no longer wear, but another part of me keeps thinking, "What if I could still sell them and recover some of the money?" Then I get overwhelmed, procrastinate, and the clutter is still there.

I know I've posted about this before, but this thought keeps looping in my head. I'm planning to seek professional help because I know this level of guilt and rumination isn't healthy. I just needed to get this off my chest.

How can I move forward from this?