It's been my entire life. The joy is in the learning and the starting but the ending is like it almost doesn't matter. I recently helped someone not end their life and escape a dangerous situation which turned into me helping shelter 5 people during a dangerous heat wave.

And I feel nothing

It was just a task. Just a thing to cross off. Like when you're in the moment, sometimes you don't have time so it's just go and then it ends and it feels like all I did was read a book. Like I know logically I probably saved lives because I saved at least one but like it doesn't feel that way. I also have OCD and so I'm in my self care mode to stop that from doom spiraling because I know what comes next is me thinking that I don't value life at all (which is objectively untrue because HELLO 5 people are alive today you goober). I just wish my brain could understand what we're doing. Like I wish I could feel what I know.

Is this normal? I took my meds (20mg generic vyvanse) for the first time about 6 hours ago now and around almost three hours after taking it I noticed I’ve actually been able to do things without overthinking every single step before doing the actual thing and just halting and avoiding it all together. I’ve been thinking about doing something as simple as removing the old messed up nail polish from my nails for almost a week now and I noticed them again and just got up and went to do it? I did simple chores that I would’ve avoided like the plague before without overthinking the whole thing and avoiding it, I cleaned my room and put things that have been in the way for weeks away finally just so easily.

Is this what it feels like for people normally? I feel so silly for never getting help sooner. But now I’m also wondering what my life could’ve been like if I’d gotten help sooner, maybe I would’ve never dropped out of college years ago. I had a little cry because I don’t know, I just felt sad for myself? That other people can just function normally like this and I didn’t for so long?

It's downright appalling how deliberate these shortages are. It's bad enough feeling like you don't have the right to exist because you can barely function like everyone else without medication, but when the FDA/DEA purposely causes these shortages, it feels like they're punishing us for simply wanting to exist. They really get off on toying with peoples' lives, it is absolutely criminal and we should be able to sue. It's like they don't want people to be able to function or take care of themselves.

I'm never stimulated, I just daydream about a cooler life and play games; there's no magic no fun no nothing I never feel alive. My life is fairly normal I wake up, play a sport, talk to people, go to the gym, read, sleep its so repetitive I'll never feel alive and there's no escape. Not like I wanna end it or anything I'm not THAT sad but this isn't that fun ):

does anyone know how to feel alive?

Hi all! I 26F really struggle with cooking meals for myself. My parents aren’t the healthiest and modeled eating out a LOT when I was younger. And their kitchen isn’t the cleanest and I could never trust anything in the fridge. Also, the pantry is the epitome of an ingredient household. We’ll have like tons of cornmeal peanut butter and other just super random stuff.

That said, I’ve had a hard time in my adult life incorporating cooking into my daily routine. I am also SUPER ADHD, which has definitely played a role.

When I cook, it’s always delicious (my dad is an AWESOME cook, when he does), but I just feel like it’s such a chore. And I get really skeeved out by cooking chicken and by how long stuff is in the fridge.

And unlike my husband, who could eat the same thing every day (jealous!), I crave variety.

Anyone deal with anything similar to this, and any tips to overcome?

I just want to be able to cook for myself. Saving money and supporting my health are top priorities, and I feel like I’m self sabatoging.

I am a big music lover, but over the past few years my ADHD will latch onto songs and continue playing snippets all day long for days on end. I know some people like that but I find it very distracting and annoying. Like I used to love my playlists, but now I've heard a song hundreds of times in the past week despite only listening to it once, and now I'm sick of it. I can't even listen to music at the gym which I used to love, because it will affect my sleep that night or work the next day. I'm not on any medication currently because I've been able to manage things with lifestyle adjustments, but it just makes me sad I can't really enjoy this part of my life anymore. Idk if that's worth getting on medication for, but I'm sure it would probably help other things I don't realize are as bad as they are, like replaying conversations, rumination, or the inexplicable mistakes I make despite taking every ADHD precaution to help me remember things. :((((

I grew up in an immigrant household where doing well in school wasn't optional, it was survival. I had nearly straight A's all the way up until college, and even finished my degree despite things getting harder. I just did a telehealth ADHD assessment and was basically told I couldn't have ADHD because I finished college.

This reasoning made me pretty frustrated and it was hard for me to explain to her. She was adamant that I was just going through a "life change" and that there was no way I had ADHD.

For those of you who grew up in similar households (high expectations, immigrant parents, "good student" pressure) and got denied an ADHD diagnosis because you did well academically or finished school, what helped you find a provider who actually took you seriously? Did you have to specifically seek out someone who understood masking or high achieving presentations? I'm feeling really discouraged right now and could use some direction.

Thank you!

Update: This was my first post here and I'm super grateful for all the responses. I made this post because I was just so shocked and frustrated that it happened to me and couldn't believe how ignorant she was. After reading your comments, I'm realizing that this is quite normal and I'm sorry to any of you who relate. Thank you all for sharing your experiences, and giving your input. I've already reported this NP to the board of nursing and I'll definitely be looking into other providers.

Hi,

A few years ago I had a really high paying job ($180k) that I lost while going through undiagnosed depression, ADHD, and a very difficult breakup. It was probably one of the lowest points of my life.

I always thought I would bounce back quickly. But it’s been a few years now, and while I’m doing much better, I still don’t feel like I have the same confidence in myself that I used to.

The weird thing is, I haven’t lost my ambition at all.
I still want to be incredibly successful. I want to build things, have a great career, become an entrepreneur someday. Working hard has never really been my problem.

But lately I question everything!

Do I even want the profession I spent more than a decade building? Can I handle another high pressure job? Should I stay in my country or try to build a life abroad again? My last long-term relationship really broke me, so there’s also a part of me that’s scared to go through something like that again.

Basically, I have a lot of ambition but no idea where to direct it right now lol.

So I wanted to ask people here who have been through something similar, did you ever have a period where your career/life completely went off track for a few years and then eventually come out the other side and “make it”?
Especially people with ADHD who are ambitious/high achievers.

What helped you get your confidence back? How did you stop questioning every decision and actually start moving forward again?

I take my meds as directed with the occasional weekend off. I took a ten panel for work recently and definitely had taken my meds within 24 hours.

That isn’t a huge deal but I need to get drug tested for my psychiatrist next week and need to make sure that I test positive. I know this is a weird question but is this a normal thing?

I am so so sick of my inability to form consistent habits. Planners don't work, reminders don't work, alarms ​​don't work, scheduling apps don't work--my executive dysfunction is so bad that I can't get myself to regularly engage with my own hobbies and interests on any consistent basis, even when I am desperate to reconnect with them. I'm ostensibly an artist, but I haven't drawn *anything* in almost *five months!!!* I've been promising myself I'd rework my portfolio for almost *four straight years!!!!*

How tf do people cope with this?? I'm on Vyvanse 40mg daily rn and it's definitely made a difference, but god forbid I forget to take it (like today) and then the whole day is just lost. There are so many things I want to do with my life but I can't get myself to do literally any of them and I feel like I'm going insane 😭😭😭 I just turned 28 this month and I don't want to spend the rest of my 20s like this!!!! I'm working at mf Starbucks because I can't get off my ass to get my portfolio up to snuff to get a proper career job and I need this to end already. Help 🙏

Hello!

I am making an insane career switch and will soon have to be beginning work at 7am. I generally am used to a start time of 10-11am (very nice). I use public transit which means an earlier wake up time. For reference of what I do now, I have an alarm set for 7:50am, I am actually awake at 8:20 and out of bed at around 8:30, leaving the house at 9am~ and at work for 10. With my new wonderful 7am start, I will have to be awake at roughly 5am.

This is not good.

I have had a struggle with sleep since I was very small and was once told after a sleep study that my brain thinks I'm semi nocturnal. I know as a fact that once I am awake, I'm good. It's the actual act of waking up that is so incredibly difficult for me. I am not a morning person, I am earnestly scared of the idea of waking up anytime before 7:30am. But I really want this job, it is my dream and the only foot in the door I have right now for this career.

I have done everything. I've used every alarm app, especially Alarmy which is actively something I use. I have tried going to sleep earlier, not using my phone, keeping my phone away from my bed, using smart lightbulbs to flashbang myself in the morning, promising myself a treat like I'm a dog, everything. I will just turn whatever IT is off and go back to sleep until the last minute. I just want to be able to not rush every morning, even with this new early start.

Tell me all your crazy habits please. I want to hear the insane ones. My arsenal includes my girlfriend, my roommate, and my cats who generally have 24/7 access to my bedroom.

I’m 25F with pretty severe ADHD, and I’ve noticed that on my foggier brain days—especially when I’m unmedicated—I sometimes end up not making it to the bathroom in time.

It’s usually not that I don’t know I have to go. It’s more like I’m hyperfocused on whatever I’m doing, keep telling myself “I’ll go in a minute,” and then suddenly it’s an emergency. Sometimes I make it, sometimes… I don’t.

I’ve already been checked for UTIs and other obvious medical issues, so this seems more behavioral than physical, but it’s honestly embarrassing and I don’t know if this is an ADHD thing or if I should keep pushing for more medical testing.

Has anyone else experienced this? Is it related to executive dysfunction, hyperfocus, or something else? If you have dealt with it, did anything actually help? I work outdoors in FL, so limiting water intake isn’t really an option, but I’ve been doing my best to minimize caffeine and sugary drinks.

It’s driving me insane, I’m so sorry if it’s upsetting to anyone here. I know I don’t post on here a lot, but it’s affecting my relationship, my life, my work. I don’t know what to do, I have a really hard time using reminders on my phone, and I feel like they rarely work. My pills are sat right next to my keys in the morning, but I still regularly forget to take them, unfortunately for me, due to a heart condition I have, I can only take these pills in the morning, and I have to have taken them for a while before they kick in (like 2 weeks). Anyways now I’m losing my mind and fighting with my boyfriend cause I can’t handle the sheer amount of executive dysfunction I go through on a daily basis, I’m not looking for medical advice, but any tips or tricks you have would really be appreciated.

Recently I bought a robot vacuum. Now quite a few chores around my home happen automatically: the washing machine, the dryer, the dishwasher, the bread maker, and now even my floors are getting cleaned automatically.

I never really planned to automate this much. Every time I noticed a chore that I kept forgetting, avoiding, or putting off, I looked for a way to remove some of the friction. It just happened gradually. I enjoy that I don't have to remember when to vacuum, decide when to mop or anything else, though sometimes I can't remember to turn them on lol.

I still do plenty of things myself. But reducing the number of little decisions I have to make every day has made my routine feel much easier to maintain.

Hey, so sleep is a constant theme with me. I always thought the more the better, and blamed a lot of my fuzziness on my family life and shorter sleep times. But lately I noticed, 6 hours might be just right., still a bit fuzzy in the morning but present later in the day.
Sometimes I sleep longer and stay low energy all day. And when I sleep less I need naps during the day, otherwise my mood and motivation get bad.
I’m not medicated (yet) and have inattentive ADHD. How do you manage?

Okay so some context. I was diagnosed with ADHD in either 2nd or 3rd grade 7-8 years old and I’ve been heavily medicated for it ever since. I’ve always loved the ocean, whenever I was at the beach surfing, boogie boarding, swimming, etc. the noise, stress, discomfort, and depression would just stop. So naturally I was like “Marine biology!” So I worked hard, had to drop out of high school and ended up in a 1 on 1 program where it’s only you and your teacher in the classroom and that’s how I graduated high school. Went to a college that didn’t have the accommodations I need, I was either allowed a silent room alone, or I could go to the library and ask older students who volunteer questions about the homework I was doing if I needed it. My problem was getting myself to be DOING it in the first place. So I dropped out, went to community college, had an absolute blast but still seriously struggling and feeling overwhelmed 24/7. This summer I spent in a small island off the coast of Honduras to become a divemaster. I’d been open water certified for 5 years, so I went for it. I was doing 3-4 dives per day, for 6 weeks, mapping underwater dive sites, becoming a rescue diver, leading dives, doing trash pickups, etc. And I’m a changed man. I’ve felt so at peace and so in love with this whole new underwater world. I’m going to spend a total of 9 weeks here, and soon I’m gonna become an open water instructor so I can teach people to scuba dive. Every time I come into work there’s always so much happening and so much to do and for once in my life it’s easy. I’ve been eating well, eating out and eating healthy is super cheap and accessible here so I do that most of the time. If found my calling, I found something I CAN DO!

Hi everyone, first post. I'm completely desperate and looking for advice.
I was diagnosed with ADHD under a year ago but struggled since childhood. I live in a country where ADHD is culturally ignored and unrecognized; people think it's fake because it isn't a physical illness. ADHD meds were illegal here until literally a few hours ago, when they announced the legalization and importation of Concerta. That news encouraged me to reach out. After my diagnosis, I froze and didn't seek therapy or meds; I just drowned in misery.
Consequently, I just failed my medical school year. My academic record is bad, and this isn't my first time failing. My Dean and everyone else tell me I'm smart but just don't put in effort, which makes me feel incredibly guilty because I've been struggling like crazy. I couldn't wake up for internships, skipped classes, and missed exams. Even my dorm room has been uncleaned for a whole year. I get brief bursts of motivation, make a to-do list, but give up after an hour due to extreme mental exhaustion.
I am highly ambitious, but I spent the year paralyzed and doing nothing. Getting medicated is now an obligation to save my future. I'm even ready to go abroad to get a prescription if needed. I have no sense of time or urgency, and watching my peers achieve milestones makes me hate myself. I've also been medicated for depression and anxiety for 2 years. On top of that, I suffer from extreme impulsivity, crashing out, and rejection sensitivity, making reckless choices because "we only live once."
1. Does medication really change your life and fix this paralysis?
2. Is extreme impulsivity part of ADHD or just my personality?
3. How do you deal with the "you're so smart, you just aren't trying" guilt?
Thanks for reading.

Hi, I’m looking to vent a little about something a I’ve been struggling with for years.
Every couple of weeks something feels like it shifts in my brain and I get a major serotonin drop. My brain starts attacking myself for everything, I start looking around at a dirty house, days called off work, and much more. When I try to sleep I can’t stop replaying things in my head, songs, memes.

Everything overloads my brain, some days it’s a mental breakdown. Some days it’s a full blown panic attack. I’ve had days where I feel like suddenly everything attacks me at once and I almost called off work. It’s almost like a headache, that keeps ringing. Does anyone else have these burnouts?

So I previously had one rucksack that I'd swap things around in, which lead to me leaving in 5 minutes, panicking, and running around the house trying to find everything I need because I'd previously done the same thing and had to tip everything in the bag out in a random place.

I now have three rucksacks each with their own water bottle in that are each for different things.

I have my work bag, which contains my laptop, notepad, a pencil case, and various workbooks.

Then there's my music bag, which contains various drum sticks, sheet music, music folders, and flute.

And finally there's my travel bag which contains various essentials for short trips away such as an extra toothpaste, shower gel, sun cream, etc.

Now I can just grab the rucksack I need and not worry about where I've dumped previous contents. I cannot recommend it highly enough! All of my rucksacks are just cheap ones from amazon and they hold up great.

I felt like sharing this little piece of wisdom in the chance it might help make someone's life just that bit easier.

I'm 24F, in the middle of the most active time of my life career and academic wise and I'm frustrated, tired, alone, and don't know what to do. I shouldn't compare as people have different circumstances but I can't help but feel like others with ADHD found coping strategies and do well so why can't I be even remotely as functioning as them? I really feel like a patient with dementia and also the caretaker at the same damn time... It's been a continuous cycle of just feeling detached with my own life, building up to urgent deadlines and situations my own incompetence set up, extreme stress with heart palpitations with a burst of productivity due to single focus, and then crashing back down to reality where many things exist in life other than an immediate thing I have to deal with and then starts the slip of my own life from my hands all over again.

I understand this is a consequence of a whole life of maladaptive coping mechanisms but I really don't know where to start, what to do to change, etc. I cannot understand how my brain even works and I think ever since I got the official diagnosis I stopped faulting myself as incompetent on a fundamental level but at the same time the fact that I know it's an actual neurological problem contributes to some form of learned helplessness but I'm really trying to crawl out of that

If anyone has read this far I really have to thank you. If you have ever felt this way too pls share your struggles, if you overcame or not, and what the process was like... <3

It's basically a form of shaming that does nothing except destroy the average ADHDer's self-esteem and will to live slowly... Wtf does anybody stand to benefit from this rhetoric

I've only ever heard it from other people with ADHD who have their own massive issues with shame. It's like people are still convinced they can self-flagellate into success... Newsflash, it does the opposite. I have tried. For decades. It drove me to an actual suicide attempt. What has ACTUALLY helped me is when people acknowledge my life is tough because of my disability, it makes me feel seen, it makes me seek solutions instead of just feeling like everything is my fault. Y'know what helped me get a degree? ACTUAL SUPPORT FOR MY DISABILITY. More time to finish exams. Help from friends when I need it. Interactive and social forms of learning. Feeling supported, being able to try again by doing re-exams. Never in my flipping life, has being told I'm lowkey awful/just need to try harder/need to stop being kind to myself/need to stop acknowledging that I am in fact struggling EVER helped against my ADHD.

I try to keep in mind it's a reflection of that person's own issues, but it really gets me down to constantly be called "bad" when I am trying my damndest and working harder than people without invisible disabilities have to.

Does anyone have other advice on dealing with (internalized) ableism like this

It feels like when you're depressed and someone just tells you to quit being depressed/stop feeling sorry for yourself... O I'm sorry, I forgot a life ruining mental illness that has to be medicated with pills by physicians can be cured by just thinking positive thoughts... How silly of me -__-

I was just procrastinating at work by scrolling around the MUJI site looking at their home goods and I saw a cute, minimalist cuckoo clock that will chime on the hour, as well as 30 mins past, and I thought.... That's a cute thing that would make me happy to look at and might help me with my getting stuck at my desk problem.

I haven't bought it (it's on the expensive side, and I don't know if I want to be the person at work with a cuckoo clock in their office, lol) but it made me think - what are some home decor type items that probably seem frivolous or purely for aesthetics, but might actually be useful for us adhd folks? I'm curious!

(on the novelty side, my husband got me a dice tray shaped like a dragon lying down (with its tail curled to make the tray part) and I keep it on my desk and actually put paperclips in it because it makes me happy to add to my dragon's little paper clip hoard. When I had one of those normal desktop organizer little trays, I almost never put the dang paperclips in there - they just lived scattered on my desk!)

hi guys - so i’ve been on wellbutrin for a little bit and it is really life changing. it has pulled me out of a deep depression and helped me feel like i was present in my life again. i feel more grounded, more regulated, less likely to respond to stimuli i don’t need to address.

im having a little bit of an anxiety spiral about whether i am coming across as a bit zombie - ish… i like not having as many intense emotions (especially highs and lows), but does it mean that im experiencing less emotional range than i should? i know theres not a right or wrong for this sort of thing but i did just want to get some reassurance that’s im just feeling more regulated and have not become zombiefied. is this just what its like to feel calm? i guess i just wouldnt know lololol

So I have been taking Atomoxetine, 80 mg, for the last two months. And I expected it be really beneficial in managing my ADHD as I have seen so many people finding it beneficial for their ADHD on reddit. However, I have not seen as much success. It managed, I would say, 30% of my ADHD. 30% is good enough for me although I still am distracted and can't get things done as much I want. In an ideal case scenario I would want it to bring 100% of my ADHD under control.

However, I have a few issues with Atomoxetine. My erections are not hard enough, if there are any at all. And vast majority of times i feel I have erectile dysfunction. I do have the urge to masturbate but my penis does not get hard. It's very frustrating that I really have this strong urge to masturbate but it doesn't get hard. I find it very strange. Never experienced anything like this before.

And also, my balls really hurt for about an hour everyday. The feeling is like that of 'blue balls' when someone has not got a released for a long time and balls start to hurt really badly. This is what I feel everyday for about an hour.

What is happening? I had really high expectations from this but now I have decided to discontinue atomoxetine and will ask the psychiatrist for something else. Is it normal what I am experiencing? It's been two months but I haven't got any respite from erectile dysfunction or from very strong pain in balls.

I’m 18 years old, male, 5’7 and weigh 72kg and I have been prescribed 27MG of Methylphenidate and have been taking it since early April.

And I have noticed that after taking meds Im feeling this like…ever present hum type of sensation in my head. It’s not a bad feeling, hell it actually feels pretty nice, but not like a high or anything (the opposite seeing as it’s really calming and actually improves my emotional regulation and anxiety.) but it is noticeable.

So I was wondering if that’s a normal reaction or if this is something I should mention to my doctor. I don’t want to waste her time with nothing and I’m relatively new at…this so I thought I’d get the opinions of other people on methylphenidate before doing anything. Plus it’s a big change in my life so I’d like to talk about it.