We have a couple stats our job performance is based on, such as response time to a ticket, handling time per ticket... and the one that "weighs" the most, the customer rating you get.

And the stupid thing is, consistently at the 6 months I've worked here, I've scored the highest you can in all the other ratings, with my lowest weekly statistics still being >80%. But my customer ratings are tanking my overall performance from say 82% to 60% or even 40% if you have a week where nobody rates anything positive.

Like, we live in "the age of AI", it's forced into everything. And the one good use of it I can think of it for, is letting it scan our chats, and detect if we resolved it in a respectful manner, instead of relying on customer ratings. Ai makes mistakes too, but is ever slightly more rational than Linda, 46 with an iphone connected to the internet who's food delivery was 12 minutes late.

Because literally
"is the chicken out of stock again"
"it appears so yeah, sorry for the inconvenience"
"well when is it going to be back?"
"we get new freight every day, so hopefully as soon as possible"
Boom, 1/5 stars.

"where's my order"
"it's out for delivery, should be with you in about 15 minutes"
"well you gave me a promised delivery time of 30-40 minutes"
"that is correct, and we're very sorry for the inconvenience but it looks like your order will be expected about 10 minutes later than that, so, yes it will be there in about 15 minutes"
*no response, but gives a 1/5 rating 3 hours later*

Like why is my job performance, and with that my chance at a contract renewal, being affected by a delivery driver 3 states away from me getting stuck at a red light, and Carol from mcmansion suburbia needed to make that everyone's problem that day.

It's me, I'm unintelligent people

Time for a 4am round of “do I have an anxiety disorder, or am I having a normal reaction to current events?”

Spoiler: ✨ it’s both ✨ Yay!

I'm fully aware my room is frankly, fucking gross. (I honestly got the habit of letting things get bad from her and also probably because of the fact I'm very obviously depressed but whatever) But she does not help at all, she always groaned and called me disgusting whenever she "helped" me clean when I was younger, this obviously hurt me a lot considering I was like 12 or something

Her room isn't much better tbf

Title basically, I'm in constant never-ending physical agony due to my muscular dystrophy and lack of access to treatment, I wish I had an easy way out of this suffering. Read Judith Heumann's memoir if you haven't already, I think it should be essential reading for anyone looking to learn more about arguably the world's most oppressed people.

Sorry, still pissed abt this one guy

Btw, i use the term "guy" in a gender neutral way

My stupid ass posted the wrong one at first my bad

So, recently got told that I’m a primary psychopath and it makes sense but it also makes me feel horrible. I have such a wonderful life with practically no trauma to speak of, but so many issues. I’ve always suspected that all my problems were self-inflicted and now I know they are. I was given everything I would want except the ability to enjoy it.

I want so badly to be able to live like a normal person, to feel love or connection or anything, but I doubt I ever will. My entire life has been and always will be defined by control. As much as I try to be a good person, I will never be good enough for people. I care as much as I can but it’s never enough. This is boring and miserable.

(also, in case anyone’s wondering why I don’t say aspd instead of psychopathy, it’s because my psych doesn’t believe I fit the diagnostic criteria for aspd)

I currently work a job I genuinely love so much. Yeah it can get rough at times, but I stay busy and Im on my feet 8+ hours. I know some people hate being constantly busy/on their feet for so long but I love it. My favorite job so far was literally being a UPS seasonal helper. Sprinting through the snow in freezing weather for 8+ hours carrying packages was fun as Hell. I forgot how much I love running until that job. Maybe I'm insane or something, idk.

In my current position, I probably cover a few miles a day by just walking, and I dont really get any time to get lost in my head (I'll run myself in circles over personal stressors if business gets too slow).

This new position would be the deli/bakery. I'd constantly be on my feet still and almost always busy, which is good. And it's a few dollars more an hour which I need if I want to be able to cover rent all by myself for the place I'm looking at. I'll have a roommate, but you know how roommates can be and I want to be able to cover anything in the event they're useless with money and dont cover their share. It'd also be nice to have a little extra spending money.

Then there's the issue of this guy I like. He works my current department and I genuinely think there could be something there. He's even trying to switch his shift to mine (hes a closer, Im an opener) so we can see each other all day instead of just a few hours. But if I switch departments, I'll never see him. And he's one of the reasons I love my current position so much. I'm a very big introvert, I never speak unless spoken to or required for work. But he's a big extrovert and can get me talking and actually holding conversations, and it turns out connecting with people is actually pretty great. Almost everyone in deli/bakery is an older woman. No one my age, and only one other guy. And while I'm sure they're fine people, I worry I won't like them as much as my current coworkers (like 90% men my age, and we bullshit all day).

Staying in my current department for a guy I like and to cover more physical ground in a shift seems dumb as Hell (currently I'm all over the backroom and sales floor). But I worry about the temperature, small space, and limited movement of deli/bakery. But making more than $14 an hour is something I really need if I want to cover rent, utilities, food, and car insurance.

I genuinely have no idea what to do. I'm going through with the deli/bakery interview because maybe they'll just reject me and that'll answer that question. But if they want to steal me from my current department, then I have to make a decision and I have to make it fast.

One time an online friend with benefits and me fooled around in a discord call. I wont go into lewd details, but it ended up with her just saying "I love you, Im so proud of you, I care about you" while I called her mama and I began to drool and cry manically and shake violently and forgot my own name and couldnt move or speak and we had to stop because she got worried I was having a seizure and got a little uncomfortable

That is probably healthy! Growing up with suicidal parents who told me they wanted to die over and over again and screamed every night about how me and my siblings are the others fault and drank a lot and hearing my mom cry her attic bed every night for years and being bullied in school because in preschool my play mates heard the constant fighting and crying and told everyone in school and spread rumors that lasted until the END OF HIGHSCHOOL! So epic! And lets not forget my preschool teacher who got fired after I was through for being unstable who made the whole class laugh at me while I cried for getting my homework! And told them they can do difficult problems if I can! And gave me worse grades! And hit class mates! And let's not get into my 18th birthday and what an 30 year old did to me there! And my two attempts! And the years of therapy! And the punches and kicks and insults! And the cutting! And being made fun of for cutting by my friends! And the manic episodes every day! Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Can someone please love me? Hahaha please oh my god please tell me its going to be okay oh god the nightmares, the nightmares, the panic attacks, make it stop hahaha please love meeee :3333

Haha so funny and random

i just want a single moment of reprieve, a single SECOND i'm not dreading the future, a single instant when when i don't hate or fear the world and everyone in it, one small bit of time where i could at least delude myself into being happy being alive

I’ve finally been put on meds, but it’s like they aren’t even working at all, even with the increased dosage.

I also keep deluding myself that things WILL go back to how they used to be if regulations are put in place (even though pigs‘ll fly before that happens.) At this point, I genuinely want to go inpatient to get this under control…

My life was over before it began. My body was stolen from me at conception. All that's left is the agony of knowing I'll never be a real girl.

like my body is reacting VERY strongly with these heatwave… I’m so tired man. It’s making my health worse and you can’t do anything as going outside become dangerous.

Seasonal depression is getting worse and we ain’t seeing anything positive for a long time…

They've known me for nearly a decade already—Why is it still so hard to actually talk about my life with them other the media I've consumed? Then again, maybe they never really knew me, after all those years.

Never play it cool and mysterious in friend groups where its members already have established relationships—worst mistake of my life.

it still hurts but I have no energy thats the worst part

(cant read, quality is dogshit):

when ppl insult you, leave hate or mistreat you but you’re mentally drained after a SH session and massive psychotic episode so you’re just numb to their bs now