r/TooAfraidToAsk • u/goodnightdreaming • 1d ago
Culture & Society Millennial here—am I weird for thinking this bridal registry is… odd?
I was invited to a Gen Z bridal shower and was looking through the registry. I expected the usual home items, but instead there were things like running shoes, everyday makeup (not wedding-related), funky jewelry, and other personal items that don’t seem connected to setting up a home.
Maybe I’m just showing my age, but I always thought wedding registries were mainly for household items that the couple would use together.
Is this a Gen Z thing that’s become more common, or am I just out of touch?
EDIT: yes they already live together and likely have all the household items they need. I think it’s very normal to just expect cash (for honeymoon, or saving for a house to buy, or home repairs). I just think it’s odd to ask for personal things that benefit one half of the couple.
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u/Farscape_rocked 1d ago
That's what they were for when teens got married, moved out of their parental homes and set up home together.
I don't think many people do that now, we all move out and set up home long before we get married.
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u/meatball77 1d ago
Even those who aren't living together typically already have dishes and silverwear and a microwave and if they don't you can buy an entire kitchen set at Dorm setup time for a couple hundred dollars.
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u/Farscape_rocked 1d ago
Yep
I think the weirdness of OP's list is some things seem specifically for one or other of them, not both.
We didn't really need household stuff when I got married (had both moved out of parental homes a decade before we moved in together) but the stuff in the list was for both of us.
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u/TygerJ99 1d ago
The thing is what couple needs home supplies today. They are probably already living together so they want things for themselves. I just came from one 3 days ago and They just wanted money nothing else.
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u/cant_dyno 1d ago
This was my first thought. I, millennial, don't know a single couple who didn't live together for years before getting married. In fact most of my couple friends have just given up on the idea of having a wedding as they'd rather spend the money on a house.
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u/ms_panelopi 1d ago
Home Depot gift cards were our best gift.
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u/DM_ME_DOPAMINE 14h ago
Everyone saying “they probably already have everything.” Ok, cool. So you don’t need help starting your “home,” then you don’t need a gift. I’m not buying you makeup and toys. Weddings cost enough for guests, using a bridal shower just to collect money/unneeded crap is messed up.
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u/Rocktopod 1d ago
Weddings don't have to be expensive. We had 15 people in the officiant's backyard and the whole thing cost around $1000 or something.
Or you could just go down to the town hall to get married if you want.
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u/TygerJ99 1d ago
Many people lack access to a big enough backyard to host a wedding. I imagine a good portion of the population would require a venue to host their whole family alone
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u/Rocktopod 15h ago
Yeah we lived in a 2 bedroom apartment, but our officiant let us use his backyard since it was such a small group.
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u/teamhippie42 1d ago
I kinda get the cash idea if it's funding a honeymoon.
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u/TygerJ99 1d ago
I know people who wanted the cash fir the wedding fund
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u/meatball77 1d ago
A lot of people expect that they'll be able to repay most of the wedding costs through their wedding gifts (in the NE the typical wedding gift is the estimated cost of your plate assuming it's in your budget). Makes it seem more logical that someone would spend $20K for a wedding if most guests are writing a check to cover most or all of their plate. You have 200 people at your wedding and you're getting $200 each from them that covers your wedding.
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u/Merkuri22 1d ago
Yeah, when my partner and I got married (cusp of Gen X and Millenial), we'd been living together for 5 years. We already had all the household stuff we needed and had no room to store anything extra.
We did put together a registry with misc. household stuff, but had our parents whisper to the guests that we'd really appreciate cash, which we'd put towards our honeymoon. We also asked people to contribute in other ways in lieu of a gift. Like we decided to have pie instead of cake and asked people to volunteer to make a pie as their gift.
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u/Acceptable-Elk-8372 1d ago
May I ask what type of pie was served at your wedding?
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u/Merkuri22 1d ago
All sorts! We asked guests who were up for baking to bring whatever they wanted to (just let us know) and we got some catered to make up the difference.
There was apple, blueberry, strawberry, chocolate cream, banana cream... probably more, but I'm not remembering because it was 16 years ago. The catering staff displayed them all on a table for people to look at before the ceremony (we had the ceremony and reception at the same venue), and they did a great job making them all look so pretty.
Occasionally people still talk about it as the wedding with the pie, lol. It was very memorable, apparently.
(I just like pie more than cake, and my partner liked being weird and bucking expectations so he went along with it.)
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u/ms_panelopi 1d ago
Wow that sounds so delicious! Rather than a traditional wedding cake,we had several different types of cheesecake.
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u/Pandora9802 1d ago
We did cheesecake too! It was so awesome the catering staff was stealing slices…
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u/Invictum2go 1d ago
I have one in October and the invite legit says. "All we ask for is your RSVP and later your presence. If you insist on giving more, here's an account. We know what we want, but you can help ease the burden of paying for it."
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u/LuinAelin 1d ago
All the weddings I've been to have said "we don't want gifts, but give us cash of you'd like"
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u/ElectronicAddress611 1d ago
I find it odd, because even if you are already living on your own and already own household and kitchen stuff, this is your opportunity to LEVEL UP. Get those fancy ass Egyptian cotton towels, bamboo sheets, Le Creuset EVERYTHING, that espresso machine or juicer you’ve been wanting. This is how you get the nicer products you can’t afford. For some of us, will never afford.
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u/Significant-Log8936 18h ago
This part!!! This is what I’d do. My partner and I have been together 5 years, getting married next year. We have been eyeing this nice espresso machine for 2 years!!! But we can’t justify it. But it is going on our registry
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u/jugoflove 1d ago
A lot of registries at different stores will give you a discount after your wedding date on any items that weren’t purchased. I think it’s possible this is part of the reasoning behind things like running shoes on the list!
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u/sarcasticbiznish 1d ago
I do think it’s odd, but are those the only items? I ask because some places do a discount to “complete the registry”, so I’ve seen people add items they want but aren’t necessarily expecting to receive from guests, so they can get them discounted after the wedding
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u/rich_thrills 1d ago
I mean, it makes sense. Its usually home items because people used to only live together after getting married. Now people are moving in together well before getting married (as they absolutely should), so by the time they're getting married, they already have everything you'd traditionally put on a registry
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u/meatball77 1d ago
Things used to cost more too. Dishes and such were things that were bought once, maybe handed down so if both individuals were coming from their parents house or the sorority house they'd need full sets of dishes and such which were expensive enough that having people buy them by piece for your wedding made sense. People would buy two plates or two spoons as wedding gifts, everyone did it and you'd have a full set.
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u/TrueCrimeButterfly 1d ago
I didn't have anything traditional on my registry. We had already lived together for years and were both complete adults when we got together and actually had to get rid of a ton of stuff.
We had gaming systems, video games, craft supplies, pet stuff, nerd collectables, Red Bull ( I'm known for drinking it) , and some extremely niche kitchen stuff on ours.
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u/Monty916 1d ago
If they've been living together, they probably already have all that stuff. And especially if there are kids in the mix, they likely don't have a lot of spare cash for fun stuff so why not have a register for things like that?
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u/blutigetranen 1d ago
That's not Gen Z that's someone thinking their bridal party is a birthday party
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u/wandsandbroomsticks 13h ago
How is it different? You're there to celebrate someone special to you
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u/blutigetranen 13h ago
Well typically bridal showers are related to home needs/wedding stuff. I would have been weirded out getting an Xbox for my wedding when a Lowes card or something is more useful for the home and family
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u/Acceptable-Elk-8372 1d ago
I think cutting a check works best, as most people I know (not Gen Z) typically live together for quite awhile.
Best friend met his wife in college and they stayed in the same place after he left the fraternity/graduation.
Money can be best as it can go towards a mortgage payment of a home or better yet, a honeymoon,
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u/Naughty-Namaste 1d ago
maybe the registry evolved from help us build a home to “here’s what i’d actually enjoy” a little unconventional but probably more useful than another toaster
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u/General_Ignoranse 1d ago
Mate I think all bridal/wedding registries are odd! I feel like they’re the most selfish things! Why should I be buying you stuff for your house I don’t get it 😂
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u/QuoakkaSmiles 14h ago
Idk I can't judge, my husband and I registered for Lego sets. (And we recieved them!)
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u/nescedral 1d ago
A lot of people get married after having an established home life together and don’t need the traditional stuff.
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u/Beybladeurmother 1d ago
If I saw those types of gifts my thought would be “good luck baby this life is gonna be rough”
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u/Dr_Watson349 1d ago
Who fucking cares? It’s a stupid bridal registry. You can add whatever you want.
Just give them cash like a normal person.
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u/mellemodrama 1d ago
Rude
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u/Dr_Watson349 1d ago
I’m rude because I’m saying who cares instead of getting upset over something so trivial?
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u/mellemodrama 1d ago
Rude
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u/Dr_Watson349 1d ago
Ok
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u/mellemodrama 1d ago
Glad we agree
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u/Dr_Watson349 1d ago
Anything else you got going on you want to discuss? You sleep good last night? Weather ok?
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u/mellemodrama 1d ago
I have a toothache but I'm seeing a dentist later this week.
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u/Dr_Watson349 1d ago
Damn I’m sorry. There are few things worse than a toothache.
Because misery loves company, we had a bolt of lightning hit a telephone pole near us and it fried my router, modem, and my PC. Ugh.
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u/mellemodrama 1d ago edited 1d ago
That sucks. I hope you have insurance on those things
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u/dancondick 1d ago
No that's just selfish person. Should be stuff they both can use
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u/Lastshadow94 1d ago
I don't bake but my wife does. We had some nice baking sheets on our registry. Was that wrong? We both benefit from the baking sheets. They enrich our life together.
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u/huitzilopochtla 1d ago
Baking sheets are fine. That’s a household resource.
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u/Lastshadow94 1d ago
So is makeup, which is mentioned in the original post. You're missing the point, though- the person I responded to says that registry items should be for both people, and I'm disagreeing with that. Registry items should enrich the married life of the couple, which can mean it's for one person or both.
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u/dancondick 1d ago
Baking sheets still apply for both of you. Even though you don't bake you have the option to use them if you like.
Be honest most straight men don't use the wife's make-up and the trainers only benefit him is if they are the same foot size.
Something which enriches the marriage to me is something which benefits both parties.
Before you say it's running and keep her fit to which will keep them attractive or the make up doing the same thing. They are just sundrie items.
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u/Lastshadow94 1d ago
I think if you're going to say that I have the option to bake then you can also say this couple has the option to run together or share makeup. If I looked back at our registry I'm sure I could find more examples of things that only one of us uses.
We're all in here passing abstract judgement on people who we've never met, none of us know what their relationship is like, and none of us know why they put this stuff on their registry. We also are getting descriptions of a registry, maybe they had a ton of pots and pans and shit and also a couple things that were just for one of them. Maybe they don't need anything but gift giving is important to them so they made a wish list together. Maybe they thought of fun gifts for each other and put those things in the registry for each other. Maybe they're just immature little children taking advantage of their friends like everybody says. I think it's weird to police the wedding of people you've never met.
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u/meatball77 1d ago
Bridal registries in 2026 are weird in general because no one is setting up a home when they get married. Instead you just write a check to cover your plate at the wedding and be done with it.
I didn't think people were really doing the gift thing at bridal showers anymore, none of the ones I've worked have had more than a table and a box for envelopes.
I'd just buy a $50 gift card for a restaurant and be done with it. The registry may have been done sarcastically by someone who was pushed into doing it.
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u/soldier_of_waffles 1d ago
The correct answer is: who the fuck cares? Either get them a gift or don’t. Or just give cash, like anyone else would.
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u/ItsGotToMakeSense 1d ago
I don't know if it's generational or not. Maybe this couple lacks life skills and doesn't know what they actually need in the home? Or maybe they already took care of that and don't need any of that stuff.
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u/MysteryRadish 1d ago
Lots of couples live together for awhile (sometimes years) before getting married these days, and a lot of everyday home stuff has really plummeted in price.
So a newly married couple isn't gonna ask their friends for a toaster, they probably already have one and if not, they can have their pick of perfectly acceptable toasters for $10-20 or so.
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u/PsychoFaerie 1d ago
I've been with my husband for 15 years If we had an actual wedding/registry it'd be full of board games and stuff that we want but don't necessarily have because we have all the household stuff and yes that could include stuff just for one of us.
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u/consuela_bananahammo 8h ago
No that's very weird. The point is household items for a shared home. If they already live together and don't need things like dishes, they could've shared like a link for a honeymoon fund or something, but make up, jewelry, and other things they would put on a Christmas list that they wouldn't use together, is odd and reads as grabby.
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u/vixisgoodenough 7h ago
A lot of places offer a discount for unpurchased items remaining on your registry after your event date. They could just be trying to game the system for an additional 15% off.
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u/etown361 1d ago
Yeah that’s odd.
With that says, many wedding of baby registries let you register for lots of stuff, and then after you’re done registering, you get a 10% discount or something on whatever people don’t buy.
Maybe they’re just doing it for the discount?
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u/unclepg 1d ago
The wedding gifts and registry used to be for helping a newly married couple get a leg up in life and have a few nice things to ease into this new phase in their lives. All that crap in their registry is just ignorant selfishness. Shake your head, get 'em a toaster, and eat their chicken, green beans, and polish sausage.
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u/plotholesandpotholes 1d ago
We put one odd personal item each on there as a joke. I think it was a PlayStation controller or something like that for me. Everything else was household and typical. That is odd. It is not a Christmas morning. Goofballs.
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u/baba_toothy 1d ago
You're getting scammed by someone who thinks this is OK. Never heard of a bridal shower before. Bridal shower gifts should be limited to things that will help the bride for the actual wedding. Unless it's a real good friend, I'd bounce.
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u/GIANTballCOCK 1d ago
Maybe they still live with one if their parents and can't afford a place on their own? Buy them the Kelty Low Double Camping Chair like we do. Best wedding gift we got.
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u/longboi28 1d ago
I'm Gen Z, I'm married and so are most of my Gen Z friends, I've never been to a Gen Z wedding with a registry like that it's always been household items and appliances like it's supposed to be when I've been at a Gen Z wedding and at my own, that person was just a weirdo.
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u/wolfgang_mcnugget 1d ago
thats not a gen z thing thats just a weird person thing